Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it?
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:02] Speaker C: Okay, let's go.
[00:00:04] Speaker A: You know what to do.
[00:00:05] Speaker C: The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there.
Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967.
I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Detective Comics 362 cover date April 1967 cover price $0.12. Cover artists Carmine Infantino and Murphy Anderson. Edited by Julius Schwartz. Featuring the Night Batman Destroyed Gotham City written by Gardner Fox. Art art by Sheldon Moldoff and Joe Giella. And the Horse that Hunted Hoods, written by Gardner Fox. Art by Carmine Infantineau and Sid Green. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go.
Take a look at the world around you.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: Don't you want to lend a helping?
[00:01:26] Speaker C: Try it on the sides.
The Riddler returns to Gotham and begins leaving riddles only for Robin. The Dynamic Duo solve his second riddle correctly after detecting a pattern. Riddler barely makes his escape. But he has Batman set up for a death trap. Then Ralph and Sue witness a police horse named Silver Blaze apprehend a jewel thief. Ralph also learns that the horse's regular rider, Officer Jim Barker, was taken captive during a recent bank robbery. Confused? Don't worry. I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything.
[00:02:19] Speaker B: If you don't want me, baby? If you're not satisfied? If you don't care? Get on and ride, ride, ride?
Since you got on your high horse? All those fancy friends you found? You've had a hard time seeing me? You're always looking down? If you don't want me, baby? If you're not satisfied? If you don't care? Get on your horse and ride, ride, ride.
[00:02:46] Speaker C: Well, I hope you're gonna be able to get through this. Why? What's her face is Mona Grass.
[00:02:50] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:02:51] Speaker C: You hate the way she does it.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: Oh, don't get me started.
She does this thing where she has.
She goes forward and then backs up and goes forward and backs up and goes forward and backs up and she stops her lawnmower and it doesn't. She's a riding lawnmower. It doesn't bother me normally. It really bothers me when I'm trying to concentrate, though. Like if I'm sitting at my desk because it Goes, Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's bad. But anyway, I think it'd be fine. It'll be fine. It'll be fine.
[00:03:24] Speaker C: That's fine because you're not concentrating on these comics.
[00:03:27] Speaker A: I'm well rested, aren't I?
[00:03:29] Speaker C: I should say so. I'm not.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: I'm sorry.
[00:03:32] Speaker C: It's all right. I'm enjoying a Bold Rock premium dry hard cider, and I'm bold Rock since 2012.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: Oh, yes, yes. And I am enjoying some sugar free lemonade. It's like meals.
[00:03:45] Speaker C: Yeah, it's called lemon juice.
[00:03:48] Speaker A: It's one of those, you know, artificially sweetened lemonade.
[00:03:50] Speaker C: I see.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: It's delicious. Well, we were just. We just finished the lawn, didn't we?
[00:03:53] Speaker C: Yes, we did. We had to get it out of the way because it's gonna rain tomorrow and then I'm so busy with my showbiz career, I won't be available tomorrow to help you.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: No, thank you. Thank you.
[00:04:04] Speaker C: Speaking of showbiz.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: Yes?
[00:04:06] Speaker C: I wonder how my little sister's movie shoot went today.
[00:04:10] Speaker A: Now, what exactly is she doing?
Well, it's a documentary, right?
[00:04:15] Speaker C: No. Oh, no, it's, you know her daughter's boyfriend, Jack, He's a filmmaker. He's a filmmaker. We like Jack.
No, it's apparently some film he's making and I think my sister and her boyfriend are playing old the town drunks or something.
[00:04:33] Speaker A: Oh, so typecasting.
[00:04:35] Speaker C: Yeah.
No, I kid.
[00:04:38] Speaker A: No, no, no.
[00:04:40] Speaker C: It sounded awfully exciting. She said the whole crew, like the whole. Yeah, they showed up at our house and they.
[00:04:45] Speaker A: Services tent. What's it called?
Craft services tent. Yeah, everything.
[00:04:51] Speaker C: It is an exciting business, isn't it?
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Very exciting, yes.
[00:04:54] Speaker C: I asked her to get us a tape so we can watch the end result.
[00:04:57] Speaker A: Yes.
So, yeah, we had a busy day. I mean, not busy like, I took Butler to the vet. Of course, Butler had surgery last week, so I've been taking every two days to the vet to get his bandage changed and looked at.
[00:05:09] Speaker B: And then.
[00:05:10] Speaker C: That's no mean feat. The vet's 45 minutes away.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: I know. The other day when I took him on Monday for a surgery, it's 45 minutes there and 45 minutes back. And I had to drop him off in the morning and then go pick him up in the afternoon. And I've been to the vet twice since then. Twice. Three times. Twice since then. And I'll go again on Monday and then we'll finish on Thursday with gasoline.
[00:05:32] Speaker C: At these prices, I don't know how you stomach it.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: I know, I know, but I Usually, like, if I go with him in the afternoon, I will stop by Burger King and order a plain cheeseburger. Just, you know, the bun, the burger and the cheese. And then I get myself a regular cheeseburger and I give him in little bits. I tear it off and I give him bits of the plain cheeseburger. He loves it. He loves it. But all of these vet appointments have been taking him to him in the morning, which, of course, they're serving breakfast. I'm not giving him some sort of stuff, spicy, breakfasty kind of meat thing in the morning. No, no.
[00:06:06] Speaker C: But you could certainly get a plain egg.
[00:06:09] Speaker A: I'm not doing sandwich. I'm not doing that. No, he doesn't need a croissant sandwich for breakfast.
[00:06:14] Speaker C: Well, he's come to expect it now. And also, you never bring any cheeseburger home for June Bug. She'd like a cheeseburger just because she's healthier and she doesn't get to go to the vet.
[00:06:24] Speaker A: She goes to the vet with me. She also gets to go to Burger King and get a burger, a cheeseburger. It's what I do for them anyway.
[00:06:35] Speaker C: You just want a cheeseburger for yourself.
[00:06:36] Speaker A: Maybe. So I think on Monday, that appointment is perhaps in the morning, but Thursday is definitely afternoon and he's getting his stitches out. So I will definitely take him to Burger King.
[00:06:47] Speaker C: Maybe he'll get a double cheeseburger.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: No, a cheeseburger is fine. As far as he knows, that's all they serve at Burger King.
Plain cheeseburgers.
[00:06:56] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:06:58] Speaker C: Well, that's my life up until now.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I read the comic this morning, took a nap, and I thought I was gonna have to. I told you that I'd read the comic and we'd go work on the lawn, but I was so tired after
[00:07:10] Speaker C: I read the comic, as you are,
[00:07:11] Speaker A: we had to get up early, and we stayed up late last night watching the Love Boat. And we watched that other series, the Agency.
[00:07:19] Speaker C: The Agency.
[00:07:20] Speaker A: Michael Fassbender and Richard Gere and a bunch of other really well known actors.
[00:07:24] Speaker C: Listener, you'll remember Michael Fassbender as Magnet from the X Men films.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: Excellent, excellent, excellent series. We watched season one.
[00:07:33] Speaker C: This is very dense.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: It is very dense. And I'll tell you, Listener, if you consider watching it, stay past the first two episodes. Because at the time we were both like, this is kind of slow. And the reason it felt slow was because there are so many simultaneous storylines happening, and it's all about espionage and the CIA and London and a bunch of other Things in Russia and Ukraine. And it's wonderful and it's very, very deep and troubling and personal and it's great. So anyway, by the third episode, I was like, oh, oh, oh, I'm in, I'm in. And then, you know, we had to stop a couple times and say, okay, now what? What was going on? What is this about? Because there's like, I guess like three or four different storylines happening at the same time with different people.
So. Yeah, yeah, really good.
[00:08:24] Speaker C: Got an all star cast. Richard Gere is in it.
[00:08:27] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:08:27] Speaker C: Lord Grantham, whatever his name is.
[00:08:29] Speaker A: Yes, yes. And there's a really, really well known African American actor with a beard, the glasses. I cannot remember his name.
[00:08:38] Speaker C: Oh, David Harewood.
[00:08:43] Speaker A: David Harewood.
[00:08:43] Speaker C: Is that who you're thinking? The Martian Manhunter?
[00:08:45] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
So. No, no, no, no. I was thinking the CIA director. Co director.
[00:08:53] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, I don't remember his name.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: No, I wasn't thinking the other guy. Anyway, it's great. I recommend us. So we stayed up late last night and finished the first season.
[00:09:02] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:09:02] Speaker A: And then of course, we watched Love Boat last show.
[00:09:06] Speaker C: So we're preparing for our next podcast.
[00:09:07] Speaker A: Yes, yes.
[00:09:09] Speaker C: By the way, we do have a name for the podcast and I, a listener sent it in, so.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: Brilliant.
[00:09:19] Speaker C: Probably have to attribute listener for the rest of my life.
[00:09:22] Speaker A: Yes.
Are you gonna say that? What? The name.
[00:09:25] Speaker C: It is Pacific Princes.
[00:09:27] Speaker A: Pacific Princes. It's brilliant. Brilliant.
Yes.
[00:09:32] Speaker C: So thank you, listener.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:09:34] Speaker C: Coming soon to podcast platform near you. I don't know how soon, probably Christmas time, because that's the next time we'll both be free.
Right. And available to watch Love Boat episodes all day.
[00:09:46] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:09:48] Speaker C: All right.
If you're in Shepherdstown or. Yeah, Shepherdstown or Charlestown, West Virginia, the last weekend of July, come see the Little Mermaid at the old Opera house theater company. I'm music directing. It's gonna be a swell show. Ursula's played by Jen George, who guested on this podcast. Yes. Eight years ago on episode seven.
[00:10:08] Speaker A: My goodness.
[00:10:09] Speaker C: I know.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: Wow.
Yes, she's very funny. Yes, yes. So I'm really looking forward to seeing her in that.
[00:10:15] Speaker C: Yes, yes.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: And is Arielle being played by a 70 year old spinster?
[00:10:20] Speaker C: No, Ariel is.
I won't say her name on the Internet because I don't have clearance, but she's an adult.
[00:10:27] Speaker A: Yeah, good.
[00:10:28] Speaker C: But she's.
I always like to have her in my shows because she's very good.
[00:10:34] Speaker A: Good, good, good, good.
[00:10:35] Speaker C: All right, you ready?
[00:10:38] Speaker A: Let's dive in. We've got detective comics You. You do this part. Sorry.
[00:10:43] Speaker C: Detective Comics number 362, April 1967. I really feel like they drew the COVID first and then came up with the story.
[00:10:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:52] Speaker C: Because the story doesn't.
It's not great.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: No, it isn't, actually.
[00:10:59] Speaker C: No.
[00:10:59] Speaker A: No.
[00:11:01] Speaker C: Written by Gardner Fox.
Art by.
Hold the phone.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: No, Bob Kane's name's on it.
[00:11:09] Speaker C: I know.
[00:11:09] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:11:10] Speaker C: Art by Sheldon Moldov and Joe Gila. So Bob Kane created, quote, unquote, created Batman.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:11:19] Speaker C: And so insisted that his name be on the stories as if he wrote.
[00:11:24] Speaker A: First time you've told me this.
[00:11:26] Speaker C: It is certainly not.
[00:11:27] Speaker A: I'm sorry. Yeah.
[00:11:28] Speaker C: But he.
And in fact Bob Kane was not a great artist. And I feel like Sheldon Moldov is intentionally drawing worse than his capabilities so that. Because he knows it has to be signed by Bob Kane.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:44] Speaker C: There's a documentary about that. Is there? Sure. Oh, we can watch that sometime.
[00:11:49] Speaker A: Sometimes run out of other programs. Right.
[00:11:51] Speaker C: The Riddler runs rampant once again flinging his conundrum challenges at Batman and Robin. And this time the prince of puzzlers has a death dealing trick in store for the Dynamic Duo when they solve his word teasers. It will go down in the annals of crime as the night Batman destroyed Gotham City.
Riddler, of course, is in 1967 enjoying a wave of popularity due to his portrayal by Frank Gorshin on the Batman television show.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:12:25] Speaker C: This Riddler is not that character.
[00:12:26] Speaker A: No.
[00:12:27] Speaker C: Not nearly as entertaining as Mr. Gorshin.
[00:12:30] Speaker A: No. No. Nor clever.
[00:12:32] Speaker C: No.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: And that stupid map of the United States is the most ridiculous thing I've seen in comics in a while.
[00:12:39] Speaker C: It is. We'll come to this later, but it's a map of the United States with
[00:12:45] Speaker A: two jets on one side.
[00:12:47] Speaker C: Exhausts coming out of California and Oregon.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: It's basically a projectile, that's all. Like a jet powered projectile that could be made out of wood.
About the size of an average human chest.
[00:13:05] Speaker C: Gamers. It's like if you're playing Tears of the Kingdom and you use your assemble hand to pick up a wooden map of the United States and then affix two rockets to the backside of it.
[00:13:17] Speaker A: Yeah. So it's something you could easily dodge out of the way, push as it flies by you.
[00:13:24] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:13:25] Speaker A: Right. Although Robin doesn't do a very good job.
[00:13:27] Speaker C: No. Robin, well, he's just a boy wonder at this stage.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: Shall we move on?
[00:13:32] Speaker C: You could grab Florida and shake it around.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: Right. So I thought this, the conceit of the opening of our story was kind of interesting. These boys.
[00:13:45] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: There Are four Batmobiles speeding toward the finish line in a slot car race operated under the auspices of Wayne Foundation Football, the benefit of underprivileged children. There are four students.
[00:13:56] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:13:57] Speaker A: Each of whom is racing a car on this track, the winner of which will receive free tuition to a prep school.
[00:14:10] Speaker C: I do applaud that. There is one boy of color.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: Yes. Although he does not win or any reason.
[00:14:20] Speaker C: But the winner is presumably Hispanic because his name is Angelo.
Either that or Italian. Okay, probably Italian, right?
[00:14:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah,
[00:14:31] Speaker C: we love Italian Americans. I grew up among them.
[00:14:34] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:14:36] Speaker C: So the only problem I have with the prize is that they're taking underprivileged youths and only paying for one year of prep school. How are they gonna pay for the rest of the schooling?
[00:14:49] Speaker A: They've got a whole year to figure it out.
It doesn't make sense. No, it's. It's. I'm assuming it would continue. I mean, it says a year's free tuition, but I'm assuming it would continue. I mean, it's a Wayne fellow.
[00:15:02] Speaker C: Well, then why didn't they say full ride, four year scholarship to prep school?
I.
[00:15:08] Speaker A: No idea.
No idea. But those poor other three boys, they have to continue on there with their public education like you and I did.
[00:15:18] Speaker C: If even that. Do they even get to go to public schools? Or do they have to be taught in the orphanage?
[00:15:25] Speaker A: Taught in the orphanage? Well, it's not a reform school.
[00:15:30] Speaker C: It's the 60s. It might as well be okay, I guess. It doesn't say they're orphans. They're just underprivileged.
[00:15:35] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:15:37] Speaker C: Anyway, when Robin, the Boy Wonder who is acting as master of ceremonies at Hobby House, hands the winner his prize.
What's the big joke?
Angelo says, I'm not laughing.
Looks like the Riddler's back in town.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: What has. So we see the script. The script was supposed to have, like, it was a scroll.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: Scroll? Yeah.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: It was supposed to have the wording that awarded the child his tuition.
[00:16:06] Speaker C: Or maybe a check attached.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: A novelty check.
[00:16:09] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: Yes.
It says, what has four legs, smokes a pipe, but cannot walk, see or talk?
[00:16:16] Speaker C: That's easy. A frog.
[00:16:26] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:16:27] Speaker C: Anyway, they get Angelo the right scroll, right? Robin meets up with Batman. Does Batman know the answer?
[00:16:34] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:16:35] Speaker C: Not yet, he doesn't. But his mind is swiftly racing as they drive off into Batman Mobile Batmobile.
Batman's got it.
Four legs, smokes a pipe, but doesn't walk or talk. Or see a stove.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:16:54] Speaker C: So?
[00:16:54] Speaker A: Well, actually, Robin has it. Robin says the thing out loud?
[00:16:58] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: Right.
[00:17:00] Speaker C: So they know now that this is the Riddler. The Riddler is compelled, if you're new here, to give Batman clues to his upcoming crimes in the form of riddles.
So off they race because there's a stove insurance company on South Prospect street in Gotham.
At first, I wondered if that was the name of the company or if they only insured stoves.
[00:17:28] Speaker A: I'm sure it's the name of the company.
[00:17:29] Speaker C: Well, I am too, but it took me a minute. Yeah, well, they get to the stove insurance company and a quick search of the premises reveals nothing.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: Nothing.
[00:17:38] Speaker C: But when they go back to their. To the street, there's a police car outside. The policeman says they just received a radio call. The Riddlers just robbed the Grill Manufacturing Corporation.
[00:17:49] Speaker A: Oh, no. Robin says the Grill is small.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Named after someone or do they only manufacture grills?
[00:17:57] Speaker A: They only manufacture grills. Okay. It'd be like the Weber.
Weber Company that makes grills, but that's
[00:18:05] Speaker C: named the Weber Company.
[00:18:07] Speaker A: Are you asking me because you are genuinely curious or are you slyly criticizing the writing of the story? Because it's stupid.
The writing of the story is stupid.
[00:18:18] Speaker C: I am trying to stretch out time because I didn't really have much to talk about this week. But I guess I'm surprising myself.
[00:18:25] Speaker A: You are. You sound like me.
[00:18:28] Speaker C: Well, the tables have turned.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness.
[00:18:31] Speaker C: All right, so the Riddler played fair by giving them a riddle. But Batman and Robin did not come up with the right answer.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: No.
[00:18:40] Speaker C: Because there's a hidden second trick beneath his riddles.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: Yes. And it's because the clue appeared to Robin.
[00:18:49] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: And Robin is the diminutive form of Batman.
[00:18:51] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:18:52] Speaker A: Yes. And therefore, whatever that clue was was actually the diminutive form of the first answer. Yes.
[00:19:00] Speaker C: Spoiler alert. We haven't come to that revelation yet.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Oh, I did, didn't I?
[00:19:04] Speaker C: Yeah. I gave it away, didn't I? Yeah.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:19:10] Speaker C: It's all right. Sixth Sense is just as enjoyable once you know the secret.
All right.
Batman says not to worry because we'll be getting more clues because Riddler's gonna commit more crimes. And across town, in an oddly furnished house.
Actually, I could go for those curtains.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: Oh, you would?
[00:19:29] Speaker C: Scarlet curtains with question marks on it?
[00:19:32] Speaker A: God.
[00:19:33] Speaker C: And three henchmen dressed in crossword puzzle leotards.
The Enigmen. I did like that.
[00:19:45] Speaker A: That was good.
[00:19:47] Speaker C: All right. It's a splendid haul from the Grill Manufacturing Corporation which apparently keeps a bag full of cash on hand.
For payroll, probably.
Yes. It's the Riddler. Prince of Puzzlers, Emir of Enigmas, King of Conundrums.
Who announces to the Enigmen that he's setting up Batman and Robin for the kill.
When they solve my second riddle, they'll realize there's a pattern to them. Which they will follow to its logical conclusion and inevitable ending. The deaths of the Dynamic Duo.
So,
[00:20:25] Speaker A: trying to think of where we're going next.
Well, I don't know why we get this map. Just as Batman and Robin go out on their nightly patrols, so shall I. I will hunt down the duo of do Gooders and present them with a second puzzler.
[00:20:38] Speaker C: Right. I thought the map was going to be a.
[00:20:41] Speaker A: Some sort of like, this is my next target. Nothing. He just. It's a map and curtains.
[00:20:46] Speaker C: An overhead map of Gotham City, presumably.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: And not the whole city. A portion of the city.
[00:20:51] Speaker C: Yeah. Like the downtown.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Like six square blocks.
[00:20:54] Speaker C: Oh, wait, that's exactly what it is.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: What?
[00:20:58] Speaker C: It's the downtown core.
[00:21:00] Speaker A: Oh, you're right.
Oh, okay.
[00:21:02] Speaker C: I won't spoil it, though.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:21:04] Speaker C: The following night, at a ship model display in the Gotham City Colosseum.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: Ship model model display. When was the last time you and I went to a ship model display? Oh, let's see. Never. I don't know.
[00:21:14] Speaker C: But I would 100% go, oh, yeah,
[00:21:17] Speaker A: you and I've gone. What's the. What's our favorite little curiosity museum that we've gone to? The. The History of Civil War Medicine or Roadside America?
[00:21:23] Speaker C: Well, Roadside America, where they had the giant indoor indoor train set and every half hour they dimmed the lights and played Kate Smith singing God Bless America.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. That's nice.
[00:21:35] Speaker C: It's closed now, though.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: How many people are living across the street now?
[00:21:39] Speaker C: What do you mean?
[00:21:41] Speaker A: Well, I'm seeing a gentleman who's not the owner of the house and not the boyfriend of the daughter. Okay, Right.
[00:21:53] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:21:53] Speaker A: And they have a lot of vehicles there now.
[00:21:57] Speaker C: Well, maybe they've got out of town visitors.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: No, I mean, like, they've. Like they've got more vehicles than they have space for.
I wonder if. Because he has two daughters. I wonder if the other daughter has moved in with her boyfriend. Oh, you know what I'm thinking? Yeah. Like, it could be a full house of six people
[00:22:16] Speaker C: and they don't seem like the types that would allow a daughter.
Right, right. That's why he's. Especially that boyfriend. He was a student of yours. I know.
[00:22:26] Speaker A: Well, he's a nice young man. But. But, but.
[00:22:30] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:22:31] Speaker A: I just.
I've noticed that there's. There's like an extra truck over there.
[00:22:36] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:22:36] Speaker A: And it Appeared.
Those twitchy curtains. Me. And it appeared. I don't know when, but I noticed it this summer. Right.
[00:22:43] Speaker C: Oh, so it's been long term.
[00:22:45] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes. And so. And it's not a truck driven by the owner or owned by the owner. It's like a new kind of truck with gear on top and stuff. And I thought, oh, that's interesting. And it stayed there. And then I just noticed a gentleman walking to the mailbox and. And checking the mail. Which means he's not a guest.
[00:23:01] Speaker C: Well, how old a sort of gentleman is he?
[00:23:04] Speaker A: In his 20s. Oh, yes. And not the other one.
[00:23:09] Speaker C: So you should have said a kid. Because you said gentleman, and I'm thinking It's.
[00:23:12] Speaker A: I'm late 20s. Late 20s.
[00:23:14] Speaker C: Oh, so. So that is my age.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah.
[00:23:17] Speaker C: Well, it's none of our business. And it's the AGOA president, so there's nothing you can do anyway.
[00:23:21] Speaker A: No, I'm just saying, because as you said, they don't seem the kind of couple that would allow the boyfriends of their daughters to live in their house, but yet it appears that they're collecting male members of an extended family over there, and they're getting quite full.
[00:23:44] Speaker C: Speaking of my little sister who's a movie star now, she got very angry at my mother once because she brought her boyfriend to visit.
[00:23:53] Speaker A: Oh. Yeah.
[00:23:54] Speaker C: And my mother would not allow them to sleep in the same room. Even though I was sleeping with you in a room there. But you were paying rent, so that's different.
[00:24:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:08] Speaker C: Where were we? The model ship display.
[00:24:10] Speaker A: Model ship display.
[00:24:12] Speaker C: Well, there's a ship that was made for a dauphin of France.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: What is a dauphin?
[00:24:18] Speaker C: A dauphin is like the heir to the throne, I believe.
Or perhaps a minor that is technically the ruler, but because they're a minor, they have to have a. What do you call that? Someone that's running the country till they turn 18.
[00:24:39] Speaker A: Queen. Queen. Regent.
[00:24:41] Speaker C: Regent, yes.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: What's that called? Regent. Okay, I think. I think we're wrong.
[00:24:46] Speaker C: You know what?
It doesn't matter. We'll never have a king in this country. In the good old US Of A.
All right, in busts, gang of hoods, thankfully out of their crossword puzzle. Leotards.
[00:25:01] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:25:02] Speaker C: But suddenly, in rush, Batman and Robin, they've brought a model of the Bat boat for the display.
And it looks like they're going to have to put on a display of their own. A display of acrobatics and crime fighting.
[00:25:15] Speaker A: Yeah, they get to fighting the criminals right away. And Robin does an interesting little thing where he Does a little somersault, kind of. He jumps to the ground and kicks the guy in the face with his heels. I thought it would be funny if Robin had done a somersault and then like grabbed the guy with his thighs, his crotch right in the guy's face, twisted his legs and made the guy go unconscious. That would have been funny.
[00:25:40] Speaker C: I feel like we've seen him do something like that.
[00:25:44] Speaker A: No, but from the front. Like, it would be, like inappropriate. Hilarious.
[00:25:47] Speaker C: That's what I. But no, I think we. I think that's actually. Has happened.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: I think has really happened.
[00:25:55] Speaker C: To one side of the Teenage Thunderbolt, the Caped Crusader is exploding like a small megaton bomb. Well, goodbye, Gotham.
[00:26:03] Speaker A: Gotham City.
[00:26:06] Speaker C: All right. He prefers the old fashioned straight up punch.
And after the thwarted thieves are turned over to the authorities, they prepare to head back to the quiet of Gotham City traffic.
[00:26:21] Speaker A: Say, do you remember in St. Augustine, in the visitor center where we used to park, they had kind of a cutaway of a ship inside the building that you could walk up into.
It was like a, you know, reproduction. One of those anti. Not anti, but old, Old sailing ships, you know, because it was founded by the Spanish.
[00:26:41] Speaker C: Right.
[00:26:42] Speaker A: I always like the smell of that room, the wood.
Do you remember how it smelled? It was nice. And it was always air conditioned in there and it was always nice to get there. And you, like, park in the garage. It was like a million degrees in St. Augustine. Of course, you go to the visitor center and go to the restroom and wash your hands and then go through the visitor center and walk onto the ship, which was awesome. I just have fond memories of that.
[00:27:04] Speaker C: Well, we can go anytime you want.
[00:27:06] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:08] Speaker C: Speaking of Gotham City and Batman, the house used for the exterior shots of Wayne Manor on the Batman TV show is for sale.
[00:27:18] Speaker A: Oh, where is it in California?
[00:27:20] Speaker C: Pasadena.
[00:27:21] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:27:22] Speaker C: For a low, low price of $32 million.
Interested?
[00:27:30] Speaker A: No.
[00:27:30] Speaker C: Okay. Well, someone's gonna buy it.
[00:27:32] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:34] Speaker C: Probably someone listening to this program.
They should form a consortium and buy it and turn it into a Batman museum.
[00:27:45] Speaker A: Then someone has to run it.
[00:27:46] Speaker C: I'll run it.
[00:27:48] Speaker A: You could run it. Yeah.
[00:27:50] Speaker C: Pasadena. Is Pasadena nice? Where is that?
[00:27:53] Speaker A: It's in California.
[00:27:54] Speaker C: I know it's in California. Is it?
[00:27:56] Speaker A: You know, I don't know.
[00:27:57] Speaker C: North, south?
[00:27:58] Speaker A: It's probably close to Hollywood.
[00:28:00] Speaker C: Well, that's all right. I've always wanted to live in Hollywood. And now that I'm related to someone
[00:28:05] Speaker A: in the business, I'd rather not live in Southern California.
I'd rather live in Northern California.
[00:28:12] Speaker C: Well, I know you would. But maybe we could split the difference. Is it an easy commute?
No, live in, like, Orange County.
[00:28:23] Speaker A: Can we get back to the podcast?
[00:28:24] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:28:24] Speaker A: Is it the subject at hand? Please.
[00:28:26] Speaker C: All right. They prepare to head back to Gotham City. They hop in the Batman. Batmobile. Why do I keep saying Batman mobile? I don't know. Batmobile, but. Yowch.
Someone's put a tack on Robin's seat.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: Somebody on me. Somebody. Somebody snitched on me.
[00:28:44] Speaker C: And that's no joking matter. Those bikini shorts. Yeah, tack would do some damage. Mm.
All right.
Batman examines the tack with the powerful lens of the Bat magnifier which he always carries to the Batmobile.
[00:28:59] Speaker A: Does he see blood on the. He doesn't say anything about blood, no.
[00:29:03] Speaker C: Yeah, well, Robin's bikini shorts do appear to be made of chain mail, so maybe that protected him.
Of course. There's a riddle written on the tack.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:29:15] Speaker C: What word of five letters has only one? When two letters are taken away,
[00:29:23] Speaker A: yes,
[00:29:24] Speaker C: Robin knows it right away.
Stone.
[00:29:27] Speaker A: Stone.
[00:29:28] Speaker C: If you take away the S and the T, you're left with one.
Get it?
[00:29:32] Speaker A: Yes. So does drone.
[00:29:35] Speaker C: Yes, but drones didn't exist in 1967.
Only stones did.
I mean, drones in the sense of a male worker bee. Yes, but not a drone like that flies around Gotham City.
[00:29:52] Speaker A: How about crone?
[00:29:54] Speaker C: Okay, yes. Batman and Robin have fought a crone who secretly. Zatanna in disguise.
So you're right. I guess you're smarter than Robin.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: Okay, sorry. I'm being quiet because I'm putting compound letters together in my head.
[00:30:11] Speaker C: Alone.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Alone.
[00:30:13] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:30:13] Speaker A: Oh, good. That's good. Yes. Alone. Yeah.
[00:30:16] Speaker C: Prone.
[00:30:17] Speaker A: Mm.
Grown.
No, that's all right. G, r, o, w, n or g, r, o, a, n. Right.
[00:30:40] Speaker C: Phone.
[00:30:41] Speaker A: Oh, good one. Phone. Yes. Yes.
[00:30:44] Speaker C: So I guess that's a misleading riddle, isn't it? Because there's lots of answers that are valid.
[00:30:49] Speaker A: Well, the first one. I mean, Batman is quite a clever detective.
Anyway, first answer was correct.
[00:30:57] Speaker C: What does that mean? They're gonna rob.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: Of course.
[00:30:59] Speaker C: PJ Stone Brokerage.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: Brokerage.
[00:31:03] Speaker C: Now, Batman says, hold the phone, Robin. Hold the phone.
Have you noticed that you are being singled out to get the riddles? It's no coincidence. I'll bet.
Then.
Wait a minute. You're a small version of me just as a grill is a small version of a stove.
[00:31:23] Speaker A: Holy hints. We ought to look for a small version of a stove. Like a pebble. A stone. Like a pebble. Like there's a Pebble Beach Funhouse. That could be it. Could that be it? Yes. Well, yes. Pebble Beach Funhouse. Pebble beach is in California.
[00:31:39] Speaker C: Well, also, there's a Pebble. A much more famous pebble beach in Gotham City on the East Coast.
[00:31:44] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:31:45] Speaker C: In New Jersey is where Gotham City is.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:31:51] Speaker C: Now, remember that lady I worked with when I worked in Florida? Across the street from the Baja Beach Club?
[00:31:57] Speaker A: The Baja.
[00:31:59] Speaker C: But she would. Yes, she would. People would call to ask where our office was located. She'd say, we're across the street from the Baja Lounge.
[00:32:09] Speaker A: You loved that. She called it the ball.
[00:32:10] Speaker C: I know.
[00:32:11] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:32:13] Speaker C: All right. Off they go to the Pebble Beach Amusement Park. Wait, what did he call it?
[00:32:20] Speaker A: Pebble Beach Funhouse.
[00:32:21] Speaker C: Pebble Beach Funhouse. But it seems to be a whole amusement park. And it's charity night.
And the glitterati of Gotham City society, except Bruce Wayne, I guess, are there to.
As we read on the placard, give til it hurts.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: They're going to go to the amusement park dressed in tuxedos, top hats, women in gowns and furs.
[00:32:44] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:32:45] Speaker A: And ride a ride at $100 each ride.
[00:32:49] Speaker C: All rides are $100. All hot dogs are $100. All soft drinks are $100.
So it's like, literally going to Disney World today.
[00:32:57] Speaker A: I could 100% eat a hot dog right now, but only, like, if it's super, super hot and it snaps when you bite into it.
[00:33:05] Speaker C: Well, you know, you could do hot dogs in the air fryer. And I know there's a trick to it.
[00:33:09] Speaker A: Really?
[00:33:09] Speaker C: You stick it down on a stick. A wooden skewer. Skewer. And then you cut it, like, into a spiral. And then you put it into the air fryer so that gets it cooked all crispy all the way through.
[00:33:22] Speaker A: Oh, wouldn't that be good?
[00:33:25] Speaker C: It would, but unfortunately, we don't have any hot dogs.
[00:33:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:28] Speaker C: And I'm not going to the store.
All right.
They arrive at the Pebble Beach Amusement Park. The Riddler is there with his henchmen, astonished to see them.
My riddle wasn't supposed to lead you here, but Batman says, we thought small instead of big, as you intended, Riddler.
[00:33:47] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:33:50] Speaker C: So, however, Riddler has an assembly.
[00:33:54] Speaker A: Did he use his buttocks to knock out that man at the bottom of the page? One of the Enigmen.
[00:34:01] Speaker C: I think he's jumping over them.
It's just that he has a fat butt and he can't help brushing the tops of their heads.
[00:34:10] Speaker A: I think he might have passed wind.
And that's what that hump is.
He punched them and then jumped on top of them. And Passed wind.
[00:34:19] Speaker C: I've passed a lot of wind in my time, and it's never made a sound like hump.
[00:34:25] Speaker A: If you make a sound like hump when you pass wind.
[00:34:27] Speaker C: You need to go to the bathroom. You need to go to the bathroom.
[00:34:29] Speaker A: You need to go to the bathroom.
[00:34:29] Speaker C: Or the doctor check out.
All right.
Riddler has an escape hatch.
[00:34:38] Speaker A: Look, even at the bottom of the page, Batman's lifting up his leg.
[00:34:43] Speaker C: He's running.
All right.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: I'm sorry, I shouldn't.
My humor is rather sophomoric today. Sorry about that.
[00:34:53] Speaker C: Today, always. Riddler falls through a trapdoor which closes behind him. And Batman says the scoundrel has rigged up a gadget on the underside of this trapdoor that effectively locks it against all my efforts to open it. So a lock is what you're describing, Batman.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: Yeah, he could have said, it's locked. I can't open it. Right, yeah.
[00:35:13] Speaker C: Meanwhile, Robin has taken care of the enigma and he's going to give Batman a hand. We see that the Riddler has flown down a chute.
[00:35:22] Speaker A: No wonder the Riddler has such a so many crimes that he has to commit. Apparently. You know, it's twice now that the. That the. The Batman and Robin have captured the Riddler's men.
[00:35:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:33] Speaker A: The Riddler must have a lot of men on retainer.
[00:35:36] Speaker C: Mm.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Right. You could have to steal a lot of money to keep these people employed.
[00:35:40] Speaker C: Well, I think there must be some, like, kind of central employment agency for henchmen, because they all have them.
[00:35:48] Speaker A: Yeah, they have special outfits.
[00:35:50] Speaker C: Well, it's this. It's like Kelly services. And you get your costume. Whoever hires you, they give you.
[00:35:56] Speaker A: So you think, like, all the criminals that need henchmen all pay into a fund.
[00:36:02] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Okay.
[00:36:03] Speaker A: And so these. These guys, the criminals that work for, like, say, the Penguin and the Joker and stuff like that, the Riddler and stuff, are they all. They're all just basically working for the same group?
Do they go. They get assigned by, like, Kelly criminal.
[00:36:19] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:36:20] Speaker A: That's a great idea.
[00:36:21] Speaker C: And that's why their costumes are often so ill fitting.
Because it was, like, bulky. Because it's just like, in stock.
[00:36:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Like when you go and you're a guest at a choir and they put you in a choir rib. The blood always has somebody else's name on it. Yeah, yeah. And it doesn't quite fit you.
[00:36:37] Speaker C: Right, right, right, right.
[00:36:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:40] Speaker C: All right. The shoot's going to drop the Riddler right into his riddle cycle and he'll be long gone, which we don't get.
[00:36:49] Speaker A: To see.
[00:36:49] Speaker C: I was really disappointed.
[00:36:51] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:36:52] Speaker C: I thought it would be the cool bike covered in question marks with a
[00:36:56] Speaker A: cool fairing on it.
[00:36:57] Speaker C: Yes.
All right. It's no use. They can't get the trapdoor open. By now, the Riddler's escaped.
Robin is burned up because Riddler got away with $100,000.
[00:37:11] Speaker A: Robin would really like to have $100,000 own.
[00:37:14] Speaker C: But Batman explains that because it was a charity event, as a precaution, every guest was given stage money.
As he used it, he signed his name on each hundred dollar bill to be redeemed later with legal tender.
Now they think the Riddler is going to be upset about this. On the contrary, he is delighted that Batman and Robin recognized his riddle pattern.
He doesn't care about the phony money because his next payoff on his next riddle will be the biggest of his career. The death of Batman and Robin, leaving him free and clear to make off with a cool million dollars in real bank money.
[00:37:58] Speaker A: Nice. Our next panel is Commissioner Gordon.
[00:38:00] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:38:00] Speaker A: The following night at police headquarters, where the masked manhunters have been summoned by the hotline call, this package was found on the front steps, addressed personally to you, Robin.
[00:38:09] Speaker C: Who can be sending me gifts? My birthday isn't for a couple of months yet.
[00:38:13] Speaker A: Would people know what Robin's birthday is?
[00:38:15] Speaker C: I wouldn't think so, unless they've read the Super DC calendar from 1978, because that has all the superheroes birthdays on it.
[00:38:23] Speaker A: They would have had to go forward in time. Nine years.
[00:38:26] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:38:27] Speaker A: Okay. Why, that looks like a satchel the Riddler used to carry off the stolen stage money.
[00:38:33] Speaker C: It is Batman. And here's the stage money glued together to spell out words.
[00:38:37] Speaker A: So they pull out a banner.
Right.
[00:38:40] Speaker C: Why couldn't he have just written a note? He actually made a banner of glued together dollar bills.
[00:38:46] Speaker A: Riddler has a lot of time.
[00:38:48] Speaker C: He has those men. He made those men do it. That's the kind of crap I had to do when I worked for a temp service.
[00:38:54] Speaker A: Oh, my God. One time I had to work for a temp service and I had to go into a property management company in a really expensive part of D.C. and go by hand through old contracts and pull out information and enter it into a spreadsheet.
I was.
Oh, my God, it was so boring. It was so boring.
[00:39:14] Speaker C: I could top that.
[00:39:15] Speaker A: What?
[00:39:16] Speaker C: I worked at the Zaner Blosser Educational Materials Factory, and they had these plastic pens or maybe they were mechanical pencils, I don't know. Anyway, they had the name Zaner Blosser Engraved on each plastic pencil.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:39:34] Speaker C: And we had to go with paint white paint over so that the paint dripped down into the engraved words and then wipe off the excess paint.
[00:39:43] Speaker A: Oh, so they hadn't done that yet? No.
How strange.
[00:39:48] Speaker C: I know.
Wow.
[00:39:53] Speaker A: I would think that would have been part of the manufacturing process. You're saying you were part of the manufacturing process?
[00:39:58] Speaker C: I was part of the manufacturing process.
[00:40:02] Speaker A: Listeners, you will not believe. One time when we moved, were you doing furniture removals? Furniture moving in Jacksonville?
[00:40:11] Speaker C: No, no, that was Daytona Beach.
[00:40:15] Speaker A: Oh, Daytona beach. Before I met you.
[00:40:18] Speaker C: Yes. Probably.
[00:40:20] Speaker A: Yeah. I just can't imagine you moving furniture.
[00:40:22] Speaker C: Anyway, where were you going with your story?
[00:40:26] Speaker A: Just all the jobs that you've done over the years when we've moved, you know. Yeah. It hasn't always been glamorous.
[00:40:32] Speaker C: No, it has not.
But now that I have an inn in Hollywood, I think things are really going to be changing for us.
All right, here's the riddle. What city can always feed its people?
[00:40:50] Speaker A: Well, the answer is Gotham City.
It always got ham in it.
Ham?
[00:40:59] Speaker C: It could be any city. What about Columbus?
It always has lum in it.
[00:41:04] Speaker A: Which is a form of cheese, right?
[00:41:06] Speaker C: It is My mother, when she was a baby, she.
She loved any kind of food, but she loved Limburger cheese.
[00:41:14] Speaker A: Uh huh.
[00:41:15] Speaker C: And that was her first spoken words. Because she called it lum.
[00:41:19] Speaker A: Uh huh.
[00:41:20] Speaker C: And she said more lum were her first words.
[00:41:25] Speaker A: Well, I was thinking about like a place like Apple Valley, California. Apple or Apple that has a place where it could always feed its people.
[00:41:34] Speaker C: Sure. Right.
[00:41:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:41:39] Speaker C: How about Orange City? Orange City.
How about Corn City?
Speaking of my mother.
[00:41:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:41:56] Speaker C: She famously rode on Joan Crawford's lap when she was 2 years old on the train from Louisville to Columbus.
[00:42:02] Speaker A: Did Joan Crawford slap your mother?
[00:42:05] Speaker C: I don't recall that being part of the story, but she may have been inspired to adopt a little blonde baby after seeing my little blonde mother.
[00:42:13] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:42:14] Speaker C: Anyway, I'm so put out.
I ordered the Blu Ray of Letty linton, the restored 1932 Joan Crawford film, which was pulled from circulation in 1936 and hasn't been seen in public since.
And I ordered it months ago. And it's just been delay after delay after delay. Now it's not coming till next weekend. And I planned this this whole weekend all around watching that movie.
[00:42:41] Speaker A: You know what?
[00:42:42] Speaker C: What?
[00:42:42] Speaker A: I think it's a Ponzi scheme.
It's just a scheme to get a bunch of people to invest.
[00:42:48] Speaker C: Okay?
[00:42:48] Speaker A: There's no actual product coming from it. You'll never see that Movie Gee.
[00:42:54] Speaker C: Yeah, but it's pre code.
Ah, gee.
[00:42:59] Speaker A: What's pre code?
[00:43:01] Speaker C: You know.
Yeah, code. They had to clean up on the language and everything. Oh, this will be saucy and racy, I bet.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: Oh, nice.
[00:43:10] Speaker C: All right, the answer is Gotham City. Because it's all got ham in it.
[00:43:14] Speaker A: Ham.
[00:43:15] Speaker C: And Robin says, that's tough. A Riddler could strike anywhere in town. But if he's following a pattern.
What's diminutive of Gotham City?
[00:43:23] Speaker A: Little Gotham City, the downtown sector. That's like Little Italy or Little Chinatown.
[00:43:29] Speaker C: But they don't have any foreign nationals in Gotham City, so they just have to call it little.
[00:43:33] Speaker A: Have you ever heard of Little Gotham City before this? No.
[00:43:35] Speaker C: Yeah, and we never will again.
[00:43:37] Speaker A: Yeah, and if we take the stage, money as an added clue. He must be aiming at a bank. Say, there's a Little Gotham Bank.
[00:43:45] Speaker C: So far, so good. But let's not be too hasty. Knowing the Riddler's devious mind, we'd better give this more thought.
[00:43:52] Speaker A: Right. In the Gotham City bank itself, the Riddler and his new enigma, Enigmen are making a million dollar withdrawal. So I guess these guys came in from Kelly.
[00:44:02] Speaker C: They did and they didn't. They're out of the Naked man uniforms
[00:44:06] Speaker A: because they're just wearing regular clothes to the building that morning. Or got into the office that morning and.
Oh, what's. Linda. Linda.
HR Sent them right over right away without outfits.
[00:44:22] Speaker C: All right. It's a quarter past midnight. By this time, the Riddler thinks Batman and Robin have gone to the Little Gotham bank and have been blown sky high.
[00:44:32] Speaker A: Let's find out more.
[00:44:34] Speaker C: Out of the shadows, however, swoops a Batarang and knocks one of these Enigmen to the ground.
Wow, it's Robin's voice. I know those teenage tones anywhere.
But he should be dead to the world by now.
Okay, I'm going to come back to this.
So Riddler is prepared for any emergency.
He's got a bag of tricks. He orders the Enigmen to keep Batman and Robin busy.
Batman and Robin start punching the henchmen out, giving Riddler time to pull out his flying map of the United States.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: That is bizarre, isn't it?
[00:45:22] Speaker C: Yes. Well, it's a name. The state puzzle. Did you ever one of those?
[00:45:26] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:45:29] Speaker C: All right.
Robin is left to deal with this flying name. The state puzzle.
[00:45:33] Speaker A: Of course, Alaska and Hawaii aren't in there.
[00:45:35] Speaker C: No.
Now the flying puzzle is emitting gas.
And it also explodes.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:45:46] Speaker C: Which knocks Robin back against the wall. Yes.
Now, Riddler pulls out an Egg in a bottle puzzle. I forgot to look up if this is an actual thing.
[00:45:55] Speaker A: An egg in a bottle.
[00:45:56] Speaker C: An egg in a bottle.
[00:45:57] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:45:57] Speaker C: I mean, I've heard of a ship in a bottle. Yeah, but not an egg. Because I think the egg will break if you're throwing it around inside of a bottle.
[00:46:05] Speaker A: I bet it would smell too.
[00:46:09] Speaker C: All right.
Riddler throws this at Batman. Batman deftly kicks it away with an imposs.
[00:46:20] Speaker A: Yeah, it looks like a dancer's.
[00:46:23] Speaker C: It looks like he's detached his leg from his body.
[00:46:26] Speaker A: Yeah, that's an odd angle, isn't it?
[00:46:30] Speaker C: Uh huh.
[00:46:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
That looks like he is in show business.
I mean, that is a kick that is so high and it is flat up against his body. Like it's almost touching his forehead.
[00:46:44] Speaker C: Well, I'm sure as part of his crime fighting training he did some a course in the dramatic.
[00:46:50] Speaker A: More for show than it is for utility.
[00:46:52] Speaker C: Well, sure, you gotta be a little bit of a show off if you're fighting crime.
[00:46:56] Speaker A: So he does punch the Riddler. Yes, yes, and knocks him down.
[00:47:01] Speaker C: Now then, Riddler discloses that the trap that Batman and Robin escaped still exists even if you aren't there. It's set to go off on its own, demolishing all of little Gotham City. Oh, okay, I was gonna say that earlier Riddler thought that Batman and Robin would be dead. Which made me think, well then why when they show up alive, like still little Gotham City should have blown up, but I guess it was. No, it makes sense now. Because it's on a timer.
[00:47:31] Speaker A: No, it's.
[00:47:32] Speaker C: Well, it's on a timer because they didn't show up. But as we will see in a minute, it does have a mechanism to witch and stops.
Very stupid.
[00:47:41] Speaker A: Cannot wait till we get to that.
So only if I know. Also the Riddler says only I know how where it is and only I can defuse it. I'll make a deal.
Let me go and I'll defuse it. Refuse and the death and destruction of little Gotham City will be your responsibility.
[00:48:00] Speaker C: Batman does not make deals with crooks.
[00:48:03] Speaker A: Second time that is said in this comic. I'm sorry, the first of two times this is said in the comic. I don't make deals with crooks.
[00:48:10] Speaker C: Ha, ha. You think you're such hot stuff while the heat's on for you, Batman.
Odd. I feel another compulsion coming over me to give you a riddle clue. At what time by the clock is a pun most effective?
[00:48:25] Speaker A: The answer to that one is when it strikes one. The Riddler is cluing me that I have until one o', clock, when his bomb is set to blow up.
And knowing the Riddler, those snide remarks about the heat being on and my stuff being hot stuff also play a part. And my being hot stuff. Sorry, folks.
So here is the stupid part of the story. Driving swiftly to the little Gotham bank the Caped Crusader enters with an electronic skeleton key and studies the model of Gotham City on exhibit.
Now, this is the stupid part. Ready?
[00:49:00] Speaker C: Oh, not that there's a model of Gotham City on exhibit in a bank.
[00:49:04] Speaker A: No. What's about to happen?
[00:49:07] Speaker C: The only way the Riddler could be certain that Robin and I would trip his bomb is by attaching a sensitive thermocouple to his triggering device to make it go off with our body heat.
So I've swallowed a Bat freeze pill from my utility belt to lower my body temperature.
[00:49:27] Speaker A: He's lowering his core body temperature, which is dangerous, in order to not set off a sensitive thermocouple. Right, right. I'm sure in his belt he probably had some sort of spray that he could spray over the entire model that would lower the air temperature of the entire room and the model for a period of time long enough for him to do what he's about to do. He didn't have to ingest some sort of chemical that chemically lowers his core body temperature.
[00:50:04] Speaker C: You know what else is in his utility?
[00:50:05] Speaker A: Do you know what I mean? Like what?
[00:50:08] Speaker C: Superman's phone number.
Call Superman. He's got freeze breath.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:14] Speaker C: Like Goliath, the Masked Manhunter explodes into destructive fury. This is why I think that they drew the COVID first. Because the COVID shows Batman destroying Gotham City.
So he just starts smashing this model of Gotham City. Batman smash.
Now for the financial district. Fuck.
The harder I work, the more my body temperature generates heat. Will my Bat freeze pill hold out long enough?
I'd better throw my whole body into this one. And my fist to destroy Wayne Manor.
[00:50:50] Speaker A: Panting Collapsed over the city he has destroyed, the Caped Crusader hears.
[00:50:54] Speaker C: Bong, one o'.
[00:50:57] Speaker A: Clock. And all's well. I've destroyed Gotham City. And as Robin might add, what a bomb.
So that's it.
[00:51:03] Speaker C: That's it. That's the end. This is like. What's that Alfred Hitchcock movie that made us so angry?
The man who Knew Too Much with Doris Day singing.
And then it just ends.
[00:51:18] Speaker A: Mm.
Very unsatisfying.
[00:51:22] Speaker C: Very unsatisfying.
[00:51:23] Speaker A: Right. Are you ready? Go on to the next story.
[00:51:25] Speaker C: I am. Because we love the Elongated Man. Super Elongated Man. Universally beloved, not hated man. His heroic destiny was Fated man he's the Elongated Man Ralph Dibney was a circus fan, Especially of the India Rubber Man. When he drank gingles like they all did, he became Elongated.
Elongated Man Universally beloved Not hated man his heroic destiny Destiny was mated man he's the Elongated man he's the ductile detective the stretchable sleuth Got a nose for trouble and that's the truth Goes all over the world with his wife sue they solve mysteries and have fun, too.
Elongated Men unique Universally beloved not hated man his heroic destiny is Fated man he's the Elongated Man I'm so excited to welcome a new member to the Legion of Super Pets, Silver Blaze. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A mounted police horse. But more than that, he's a crook catcher as well.
And because of his unique talent, his very life was threatened by guns of the underworld.
[00:53:02] Speaker A: And when the Elongated man took a hand in the curious case of a missing mounted patrolman, he found a way to use the astonishing abilities of the
[00:53:12] Speaker C: horse that hunted Hoods.
Very glad to see the return of Carmine and Fantineau. Back to the Elongated manheart duties.
Well, Ralph and Sue, as you know, maybe they've been to the Pebble Beach Paradise Club because they're all dressed in fur and fancy clothes and they're very wealthy. Are they?
Well, she has family money, you know. He was just a circus performer, but when he married her, you know, that's the way it was. Men would marry rich women so they could take their money.
[00:53:47] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:53:48] Speaker C: Plus, he's an international celebrity with his stretchy powers.
[00:53:51] Speaker A: Right.
[00:53:52] Speaker C: And he's the only superhero whose public identity is known.
The only at this point, yes.
All right. They're walking down the street of this nameless city, and they hear horse hooves.
Seems a horse is chasing a man down the street. Man's calling for help, right?
Seems like there's a runaway horse on the street.
So Ralph's gonna give him a hand.
But just as Ralph stretches out an elastic arm.
That's the thief, officers. The one who just robbed my jewelry store.
[00:54:32] Speaker A: Silver Blaze has done it again. While I was ticketing an illegally parked car, he made his sixth arrest.
Sixth arrest? This horse?
[00:54:41] Speaker C: Yes.
The alleged thief claims innocence.
You mean you're going to take that fool horse's word against mine?
Well, they find the jewelry on his person.
[00:54:55] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:54:56] Speaker C: So that proves that he was the thief.
They march the crook off to headquarters, and this policeman is going to keep an eye on Joe's beat. With Silver Blaze at his side, it's like having a real detective to help
[00:55:16] Speaker A: me so sue says, gosh, there's a lot of words on this. I know. Let's get through it quickly. So sue says, with all their motorcycles and prowl cars. Prowl cars? P, R, O, W.
Not patrol cars. No, prowl cars.
[00:55:31] Speaker C: How very odd.
[00:55:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Why do the police still bother using horses, Ralph?
[00:55:35] Speaker C: Police horses serve a most useful function, honey. They're trained to handle crowds, especially at parades or riots.
And they cover many times as much ground as does a man on foot. They even catch runaways on the city bridle paths.
[00:55:51] Speaker A: Bridle paths, of course. Are city paths made for horses?
[00:55:54] Speaker C: Yeah, sure.
[00:55:56] Speaker A: So that makes sense. But.
[00:55:57] Speaker C: But I never heard of a horse detective before. Officer, has that horse really made six arrests all on his own?
[00:56:04] Speaker A: So this is an officer. So I'm gonna try to do an Irish accent. God, he sure has Silver Blaze. Oh my God, that's a terrible Irish accent.
He sure has Silver Blaze, named for the. Oh, I'm getting into. Okay, yeah, good. Silver Blaze, named for the horse in the Sherlock Holmes story, is highly intelligent. He has a sort of a sixth sense for apprehending criminals. His regular writer, Jim Barker, calls it horse sense. Jim believes a crook is so tense after the. After a robbery that his body gives off a special scent that Blazer recognizes. That way does the way dogs detect the fear scent of someone afraid of them.
[00:56:45] Speaker C: Say, I'd sure like to meet this Officer Barker. Ralph's nose is twitching like Samathism.
[00:56:51] Speaker A: So would all of us, but he's disappeared.
[00:56:54] Speaker C: Gasp.
Alright. It seems that Jim Barker was writing traffic detail on Silver Blaze yesterday at the 7th in Main. And there was a bank robbery and Jim took off after the crooks he hasn't been seen since.
[00:57:07] Speaker A: Mm. Mm. Listener, I'm enjoying an iced coffee drink.
[00:57:14] Speaker C: So Ralph suggests giving Silverblaze a big publicity buildup as an equine sleuth.
In that way, we're not gonna hear the plan right now.
[00:57:26] Speaker A: Right. And so an hour later, after Ralph has donned his elongated moon costume, I guess what? Didn't take him an hour to change into his costume.
[00:57:36] Speaker C: It's an hour to gather paparazzi together.
[00:57:40] Speaker A: So, six arrests for Silver Blaze. See?
[00:57:43] Speaker C: Terrific.
[00:57:44] Speaker A: This will make the first page of our Bulldog edition. What's a Bulldog edition?
[00:57:48] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:57:49] Speaker A: Okay.
Must be the evening edition.
[00:57:52] Speaker C: Well, I don't know. Let's Google it and see.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo.
[00:57:57] Speaker A: I was not.
[00:57:58] Speaker C: Maybe it's a paper for dogs.
[00:58:00] Speaker A: Swirl my coffee drink around.
[00:58:01] Speaker C: Oh, Bulldog edition is an early edition or the first edition. Of a daily newspaper and can be dated in advance sometimes. Also called the Street Edition, There is a film called Bulldog Edition, starring Ray Walker, Evelyn Knapp and Regis Toomey.
Not to be confused with the Bulldog Drummond films.
[00:58:32] Speaker A: Well, here we go. Here's our second dog.
[00:58:34] Speaker C: Why is it called that? It's called that because journalists think that in the 1890s, New York papers fought like bulldogs to scoop each other and meet deadlines.
[00:58:44] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:58:47] Speaker C: And the early papers often featured large, aggressive fonts on their front pages, much like a bulldog's bite.
[00:58:54] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:58:55] Speaker C: The film is from 1936. It's a crime drama movie about rival newspapers competing in a ruthless circulation battle.
[00:59:03] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:59:05] Speaker C: You think you don't learn anything when you listen to this program, but you do. You do. Most definitely.
Anyway, how's this gonna help Jim Barker?
[00:59:14] Speaker A: Let's find out.
[00:59:16] Speaker C: So Ralph is hoping that the criminals will see this publicity and get scared that Silver Blaze is going to track them down.
[00:59:27] Speaker A: I wouldn't say finger them, but that's finger. Finger the criminals. But what's the equivalent? Hoof the criminals.
[00:59:33] Speaker C: Hoof the criminals.
Meanwhile, in an old warehouse which the bank bandits have made their hideout, they do see the publicity.
They realize that Silver Blaze has been assigned to track them down and they're getting scared. They think they better light out of town.
[00:59:48] Speaker A: We need to get out of here.
[00:59:50] Speaker C: Don't listen to him, boss. We spent too much time setting up the robberies of this town to junk them because of a dumb animal.
I say let's scram. I say let's play.
[01:00:01] Speaker A: He goes, listen.
[01:00:02] Speaker B: Duh.
[01:00:02] Speaker A: Wait, wait, wait. There's an easy way to handle this, Jojo. You think that horse detective can track us down? Then go shoot him. Stop him dead. You're shoot a horse?
[01:00:12] Speaker C: They don't shoot detective horses, do they?
All right, let's find out.
That night in the police stables, there's Silver Blaze. Everyone knows police stables are left open all night long and not guarded, right?
[01:00:27] Speaker A: Well, you wouldn't really guard a police stable. There's Silver Blazes stall up ahead. The silencer will prevent anyone from hearing us.
[01:00:35] Speaker C: And this silencer will keep you from hearing anything. Stretch. Punch.
[01:00:39] Speaker A: Punch. Punch. Punch.
[01:00:42] Speaker C: The Elongated Man. How do you figure in all of this?
Well, he's just using his mighty stretching punching powers.
[01:00:51] Speaker A: Yes, he's punching and punching. And one of the criminals retrieves his gun and gets punched in or kicked in the face.
[01:00:58] Speaker C: Yeah, he's getting ready to shoot Ralph. But Ralph does a backwards kick.
[01:01:02] Speaker A: Listener is basically a page and a half of Ralph Dibney beating the shit out of these criminals. Yeah, which is delightful.
[01:01:09] Speaker C: Then Ralph announces that these stupid criminals walked right into our trap by trying to kill Silverplace. Now, where is Officer Barker?
[01:01:17] Speaker A: You expect us to tell you just like that? Give us a freedom and the horse cop gets his.
[01:01:24] Speaker C: We don't make deals with crooks. Didn't you see the last story?
[01:01:29] Speaker A: Come on, let's bring them. Oh, so who's that?
[01:01:31] Speaker C: Ralph? That's Ralph.
[01:01:32] Speaker A: Come on, let's bring them to Silver Blaze so we can identify them as the bank robbers. At the sight of the two prisoners.
[01:01:38] Speaker C: Wee.
Now, Ralph is playing a trick because the police tipped him off that the Silver Blaze will whinny on signal. And then they taught Ralph the signal.
Suddenly, an unexpected development.
Silver Blaze starts sneezing.
Ralph does some quick research and finds that Silver Blaze is allergic to fluorides, as noted in his employment file.
[01:02:09] Speaker A: So he asks, Officer. Just say Officer O'Reilly, where is there a factory where fluorides are produced?
[01:02:20] Speaker C: There's only one place in town to find factories, Right? Right in the center of town. Little factory City.
[01:02:27] Speaker A: Factory Point.
[01:02:29] Speaker C: Factory Point has several phosphate plants which give off fluorides. And that explains why Jim would never take the Blazer, Silverplaze, into Factory Point. Those fluoride gases would make him sick.
[01:02:40] Speaker A: Mm.
[01:02:41] Speaker C: Well, I'm sure Silverplays would be willing to suffer some sickness if it'll mean finding his master. Let's ask him.
[01:02:49] Speaker A: So, in the early dawn hours in the Factory Point section of the city, what's keeping Jojo and Charlie? How long does it take them to shoot a horse?
[01:02:57] Speaker C: Well, look, here comes Silver Blaze and the whole slew of policemen. Yeah, we can't hold off all of them cops.
Now they get Officer Barker, who's amazingly
[01:03:11] Speaker A: still alive, throw him into a vehicle
[01:03:14] Speaker C: and announce in handcuffs. Yes, they announce that they have a hostage.
Now, moments later, the car pulls away from the warehouse. Ralph is waiting on the roof and he stretches down and gloms onto the roof of the car.
He wants to get out of town because he doesn't want to risk anyone getting hurt. A pedestrian.
And once the car is out in the country, he just reaches his hand, right into the car, yanks out Officer Barker and starts kicking and punching these criminals. He gets himself all stretched, coiled up inside the car and just kicks everybody out.
[01:03:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:03:58] Speaker C: All right.
This one joker that has the gun still, I don't know what good he thinks a gun's going to do against someone whose body is malleable.
[01:04:08] Speaker A: We don't know they do know.
[01:04:12] Speaker C: They literally watching it, right? They're watching him.
[01:04:16] Speaker A: I mean, they don't know that he. That a bullet can't hurt him. You think? I think a bullet could hurt him.
[01:04:21] Speaker C: Well, it might make a burn hole in his clothing, but I don't. I think it would just.
In fact, haven't we seen him be shot before? And bullets just remember, stretch through his.
[01:04:33] Speaker A: I can't remember.
[01:04:37] Speaker C: All right.
Officer Barker has gotten out of his cuffs, and he starts punching.
Joining Elongated Man.
Later that morning, in the Dibney's hotel suite, Ralph orders Sue to get dressed.
[01:04:55] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:04:55] Speaker C: I don't know who he thinks he's the boss of. She's got all the money, right?
[01:04:59] Speaker A: He says, you and I are going to visit a sick friend.
[01:05:01] Speaker C: A sick friend?
[01:05:02] Speaker A: A.
[01:05:03] Speaker C: Shouldn't we bring him a box of chocolates?
[01:05:05] Speaker A: I think he'd rather have this box of sugar. What?
[01:05:08] Speaker C: Cube sugar for a sick friend? What kind of friends do you have, Ralph?
[01:05:13] Speaker A: A little later in the hospital, and so by taking the blazer into factory point, it made him sick, but he'll be all right in a few days. And they're giving him sugar.
[01:05:22] Speaker C: Here you are, Silverblaze. The doctor said you can have this whole box of sugar.
I doubt the doctor said that.
[01:05:32] Speaker A: I don't think.
[01:05:33] Speaker C: He probably said he could have some sugar, right?
[01:05:36] Speaker A: Not a whole box.
[01:05:37] Speaker C: Nurse, administer a whole box of sugar cubes, please, to this sick horse.
Surely carrots would be a better choice. Or apples and still give him the sweets he's craving. Yes, more fiber. That's what horses need.
Well, that's all for this week.
[01:06:00] Speaker A: Yeah. No letters?
[01:06:03] Speaker C: No Irene Vartanoff letters?
[01:06:05] Speaker A: No, no. I read through them to see if there was anything interesting. Nothing jumped out to me.
[01:06:09] Speaker C: No. We've got some exciting things coming up next week. Jimmy Olsen travels through time to Krypton.
[01:06:15] Speaker A: Oh, really?
[01:06:17] Speaker C: Following that, Aqualad gets a girlfriend.
[01:06:22] Speaker A: Oh, a real girlfriend.
[01:06:25] Speaker C: A girlfriend. A real girlfriend. Ms. Liberty's coming back in Tomahawk.
Batgirl's coming back next month in Detective, so really got a lot to look forward to in coming weeks. That's wonderful, but next week's Jimmy Olsen, so you'll want to be here for that. You can find us on social media, ogocheckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra.
And you can find us right back here next week.
[01:06:54] Speaker A: You can with. Yes.
[01:06:58] Speaker C: What did I just say? Jimmy Olsen.
[01:06:59] Speaker A: Jimmy Olsen. Right.
[01:07:00] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:07:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:07:01] Speaker C: He's gonna go back in time back in time.
By.
[01:07:23] Speaker B: Giving you a chance to look inside your mind, you be thrown up in a misery. Might it not the way it used to be? Looking at you like leaving it all behind, Kicking out the hate, looking for the world.
