A Bug in the System (Adventure Comics 355)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? [00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, let's go. [00:00:04] Speaker B: You know what to do. [00:00:05] Speaker A: The whole world's watching and counting on you. [00:00:08] Speaker B: And all you people listening out there. [00:00:11] Speaker A: Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This Week, Adventure Comics 355. Cover date April 1967 cover price $0.12. Cover artists Kurt Swan and George Klein. Edited by Mort Weisinger. Featuring the War of the Legions written by Jim Shooter. Art by Kurt Swan and George Klein. And the Six Legged Legionnaire written by Otto Binder. Art by Kurt Swan and George Klein. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Go. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Open up your eyes Take a look [00:01:16] Speaker B: at the world around you don't you [00:01:19] Speaker A: want to lend a helping hand? [00:01:23] Speaker B: Try it on your side. [00:01:31] Speaker A: The Legion of Supervillains, which now includes two new members, Echo and Beauty Blaze, plots to defeat the superheroes by capturing a legionnaire. When Superman decides to depart for his own time, Brainiac 5 accompanies him to the time travel lanes and is captured by the villains moments after the man of Steel vanishes. Then, because Lana Lang refuses to watch when she catches Superboy changing clothes, he rewards her by taking her to a leg meeting. Changing to her costumed identity of insect Queen. Lana tours 30th century metropolis and after meeting Dream Girl, decides to apply for Legion membership. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything. Whoa. [00:02:24] Speaker B: Hue go eslamore he came a super lone. Tepe se [00:02:42] Speaker A: consuador yo me que me [00:02:46] Speaker B: yosenti quesus yamos miyabrasaban. Born in tensor door he made. [00:03:03] Speaker A: We're having a heat wave. A tropical heat wave. [00:03:09] Speaker B: A miserable heat wave is more like it. [00:03:11] Speaker A: Miserable. I'm finally warm enough. [00:03:13] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness gracious. [00:03:14] Speaker A: I might not complain for one day. [00:03:16] Speaker B: You're like your mother, you know that? [00:03:18] Speaker A: I might not complain on the one day that you will not be home. So congratulations. [00:03:22] Speaker B: Great, great, great. Thanks for. [00:03:25] Speaker A: You're going on an adventure tomorrow, aren't you? [00:03:27] Speaker B: Aren't I? With Chuck's wife, Chuck, our host of [00:03:33] Speaker A: Nerd Orchestra, our sister podcast. Yes. [00:03:35] Speaker B: She likes roller coasters as much as I do. And I am going to Hershey park with her tomorrow to ride roller coasters and it will be quite hot. [00:03:45] Speaker A: 100 degrees, I hear. [00:03:46] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:03:48] Speaker A: Well, have fun. [00:03:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Right. Well, we're gonna go in the morning when we get there, shortly after it opens and we'll, you know, we both are gonna just, like, I don't know, do our best to deal with it. I don't, you know, like, I'm bringing a change of clothes and some clothes to freshen up in and, you know, at the end of the day and we'll just go for as long as we want. [00:04:11] Speaker A: They do have a water park if it gets really bad. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Ah, yeah, we're not doing water park. Well, we. Good. But we're going to do the log flume, you know. Sure, yeah. Which will get nice and wet on that. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:04:22] Speaker B: That's not gonna be horrible, but yeah. [00:04:24] Speaker A: So that's tomorrow. [00:04:25] Speaker B: I spent time outside today. I got. I washed some area rugs and washed my car. [00:04:34] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:35] Speaker B: So I came in, you saw me. I was absolutely drenched in sweat. But, you know. Yeah, I've got a little list now that I'm done with my class. I've got some little chores to do and some fun to be had. And where are we going on Friday? [00:04:50] Speaker A: We're going down to Southern Virginia, to Nellisford. Pick up your flute. Your new Irish flute. [00:04:58] Speaker B: My Irish flute? Yes. [00:05:00] Speaker A: Maybe we'll have time to swing over to the Walton's Family Museum. [00:05:03] Speaker B: We'll do whatever we want. You can do anything you want, but you can choose one thing and that'll be your favorite thing and the only thing we do. [00:05:12] Speaker A: You know, I'd like to go to the National Mall on the Fourth of July at 11pm to watch the fireworks where you're not allowed to bring a chair or water. [00:05:19] Speaker B: You're kidding. [00:05:20] Speaker A: No. [00:05:20] Speaker B: You're not allowed to bring water or a chair? No. Wow. Why? [00:05:25] Speaker A: Security. Because there's a big Trump rally ahead of time. That's why they're delaying the fireworks till 11pm wow. Happy birthday, America. [00:05:32] Speaker B: Wow. [00:05:33] Speaker A: I hope you like crap. [00:05:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Good. [00:05:36] Speaker A: I went to the National Mall one time for the fireworks. I believe you were away doing region and it was the most miserable thing that's ever happened to me. I left before the fireworks. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Really? [00:05:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Why was it miserable? [00:05:49] Speaker A: Because it was a billion degrees and it was the National Mall where there's no shade. [00:05:54] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. [00:05:57] Speaker A: And I also hate fireworks, so. [00:05:59] Speaker B: I do, too. I'm surprised you went, but, you know, whatever. [00:06:02] Speaker A: Well, I had guests in town. [00:06:03] Speaker B: Yeah, it made sense. [00:06:04] Speaker A: Yeah, but we all hated it. We all left. [00:06:07] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:06:08] Speaker A: We practically write A book about what happened to me a minute ago in the grocery store and before. [00:06:14] Speaker B: What? [00:06:14] Speaker A: While I was driving down the road and I saw that little boxer that the neighbor got on their critter cam. [00:06:20] Speaker B: Yes. Where's it from? [00:06:21] Speaker A: I don't know, but I almost hit it. It was running straight down the middle of the road. [00:06:25] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:06:26] Speaker A: Which way? That way or that way? Coming towards us. Swan Pond Road. And I went over that first hill and there it was right in the middle of the road. So I turn around and followed it and it went down Azure Drive. I couldn't get it to stop. [00:06:40] Speaker B: Oh, my God. This listener. There's like a little French boxer. [00:06:45] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:06:46] Speaker B: Has been getting out of someone's house and running the neighborhoods. [00:06:50] Speaker A: Is it getting out of someone's house or is it astray? [00:06:53] Speaker B: I don't know. I have no idea. [00:06:55] Speaker A: Have you seen it before? [00:06:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I. Well, I mean, I saw it last week. [00:07:00] Speaker A: On the picture? [00:07:01] Speaker B: No, I saw it like two mornings afterward. It darted. I was walking the dogs and it saw us and ran away. Yeah. [00:07:09] Speaker A: Well, I hope it's not a stray. [00:07:11] Speaker B: Well, me too. [00:07:12] Speaker A: It looks like it's been nursing. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:07:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:17] Speaker B: Oh, dear. [00:07:18] Speaker A: I know. That's why I was going to try to capture it and bring it home and love it from her. [00:07:23] Speaker B: Well, if you. If you caught it and it's been nursing, then it's astray. Then you'd leave the puppies. [00:07:29] Speaker A: Well, I guess you've got a point there. Yeah, well, it should be with its puppies, not running the roads then. [00:07:34] Speaker B: Well, maybe it's trying to get food. [00:07:37] Speaker A: That's true. [00:07:37] Speaker B: Yeah. We don't often see stray dogs out here. No, no. [00:07:42] Speaker A: Anyway, speaking of food, then I went to the grocery And I saw Ms. Paula. So how's Ms. Paula? She's just delightful. She looks great. She says hello. [00:07:52] Speaker B: Oh, I love her. Oh, I spoke to Ms. Deb down in Florida today. Yes, yes. [00:07:57] Speaker A: She's talking. Good, good, good, good. We have a lot of Mrs. Yes in our life. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, we do, don't we? [00:08:04] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Well, well. Adventure comics featuring Superboy and the Legion of Superheroes. Not today, because it's the Adult Legion. Superman super what Moon Adventure Comics number 355. It's the second half of the famous Adult Legion story. Yes, we covered the first half some months ago. And it's the superheroes versus the super villains in the War of the Legions. [00:08:34] Speaker B: Yeah, go figure. [00:08:36] Speaker A: On the COVID Neath a yellow sky, Superman is returning to his own time in the Legion of Supervillains. That's Cosmic King, Lightning Lord and Saturn Queen are gloating over their soon to be victory over the rest of the Legionnaires. Because the Legionnaires are all middle aged and ineffective. The Legion of Supervillains. Rob is back, stronger than ever. For a fight to the finish with the Adult Legion of Superheroes. It's the clash of the century. The 30th century that is. In the war of the Legions. We have the Legions fighting each other with their powers. And there are two armored gentlemen. I think one of them doesn't look quite like a gentleman. It might be a gentle lady. You may recall, Rob, that one time, Starboy and Dream Girl. Starboy had been expelled because he killed someone. It was self defense. And Dream Girl quit in protest because she is sweet on Star Boy. And they joined the Substitute Legion. But then they came and applied for membership in the Legion again. And dressed in armor as surprised and mysterious. You don't remember, do you? [00:10:01] Speaker B: Yes, I do. [00:10:02] Speaker A: Oh, okay. It's a similar convention here. I wonder who it could be. One has an L on their chest and one has an M. I wonder, Miles, what we actually did. [00:10:20] Speaker B: Read the comics that we knew, Miles. [00:10:22] Speaker A: Beneath the surface of the murky North Atlantic, a silent foreboding structure rests. And inside it's the Legion of Supervillains. They are angry because they have failed again to defeat the Hero Legion. They've captured Pharaoh Man. Now, Pharaoh man was the twin brother of Pharaoh Ladd who died on his first Legion mission. [00:10:45] Speaker B: Oh my. [00:10:47] Speaker A: And he was bitter. And as all twins do, he shared a psychic link with his brother. So he knew all the Legion's secrets. [00:10:55] Speaker B: Oh. [00:10:55] Speaker A: And the Legion of Super Villains brainwashed him and used him to infiltrate the Adult Legion. Do you remember all that that happened in the last issue? [00:11:05] Speaker B: I do not. [00:11:06] Speaker A: Oh. Do you remember Pharaoh Ladd dying in his first mission? [00:11:09] Speaker B: Nope. [00:11:10] Speaker A: Against the Sun Eater. You have to remember, Rob. You have to. [00:11:16] Speaker B: Oh. Oh. [00:11:17] Speaker A: It's the most famous Legion story that ever was. [00:11:20] Speaker B: We read it together. [00:11:21] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:22] Speaker B: Wow. Oh boy. How many comics have we read? [00:11:26] Speaker A: A lot. But I stress that it's one of the most famous, if not the most famous, Legion of Superhero stories ever printed. As is this two parter that we're finishing up right now. [00:11:42] Speaker B: I swear by Martin Gray that I will read the story again. [00:11:47] Speaker A: I'm not asking you to read it again. Would you remember it if you read it again? [00:11:53] Speaker B: Of course I would. You know, I read so many stories. [00:11:57] Speaker A: I know, but you have such good retention. [00:12:01] Speaker B: I. Do you know what? I guarantee you If I go and get the comic and open it up, I will know immediately. I'm like, oh, yes, okay, I get it. Yes. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Okay. Well, it turns out I just didn't [00:12:12] Speaker B: want to lie to you and say that I remember. [00:12:14] Speaker A: Thank you for not lying. I'll tell you something at the end. [00:12:18] Speaker B: Okay. [00:12:19] Speaker A: Anyway, the Legion of Supervillains has two new members whose names we're not going to learn right now. [00:12:24] Speaker B: Okay. [00:12:25] Speaker A: But they have a plan. They first have to capture a Legionnaire. Meanwhile, at the headquarters of the Adult Legion of Superheroes, Superman says there's nothing else he can do here in the future. I've got to go back to my own time. I've got work awaiting me there. [00:12:42] Speaker B: Which is funny, because even if he has work awaiting him there, he could just appear at any time. [00:12:47] Speaker A: Yeah, true, right. Well, I don't know, because they set up a weird thing here. Brainiac 5 takes him to the time lane control. Apparently, in the Adult Legion era, time travel is so common that special lanes have been set up to prevent interdimensional crackups. So Superman has to go to the 20th century route. So I guess he could pop up anywhere within the 20th century. Oh, maybe. I don't know. So Superman leaves. Brainiac notices a weird ship hovering above as if waiting for something. [00:13:32] Speaker B: He. [00:13:33] Speaker A: Even though he has a 12th level intellect, he fails to notice the giant SV emblazoned on the ship, which he realizes too late is the logo of supervillains. Much later, inside Legion headquarters, the three founding members of the Legion, Cosmic Boy. Lightning. Oh, sorry. Cosmic Man, Lightning man, and Saturn Woman, are wondering what's happened to Brainiac. They haven't seen him in hours. And just then, the floating, glowing head of Lightning Lord appears before them to explain that they have kidnapped Brainiac. Somehow, this floating head delivers three sealed envelopes. [00:14:22] Speaker B: Yeah, that's weird. [00:14:26] Speaker A: And in the envelopes are five different destinations. It just so happens there are five Legionnaires on duty. We are joined now by Element man and Polar Man. They are instructed to arrive at their destinations within 15 minutes, where they will discover Brainiac's location. It's got to be a trap. Does Element Man. But Brainiac's life is at stake, so we've got to get a move on. Cosmic man reaches his appointed spot, Echo Canyon, the most perfect natural echo chamber in the world. And suddenly, he is stunned by a deafening attack. No. But who could it be? [00:15:16] Speaker B: What? Master of Sound. Echo. The master of sound. [00:15:18] Speaker A: Echo. The master of sound. Right. He's one of the new members, all right. Kazakh Man, Regains his senses and discovers, to his dismay, that because they are in Echo Canyon and he's fighting a man named Echo, it's not gonna turn out great for him. [00:15:42] Speaker B: No, his power is a very, very powerful foe. [00:15:46] Speaker A: Also, there's no metal, no iron, nothing for his magnetism to act on. I found that hard to believe. Since he's in a natural canyon, there [00:15:55] Speaker B: would be some metal ore somewhere. [00:15:57] Speaker A: I would think so. Sure. Luckily, Cosmic man knows that sound travels through air. And air's main components, oxygen and nitrogen, are slightly paramagnetic. I did not know that. [00:16:12] Speaker B: I did not either. [00:16:14] Speaker A: So if Cosmic man can magnetize the air away from Echo will render his power useless and also will knock him out from suffocation. [00:16:25] Speaker B: Right. [00:16:27] Speaker A: So Cosmic man gets his card that tells Brainiac's location and sets off. Meanwhile, at the Universe Fair in Metropolis, Saturn Woman arrives at the Universe Tower, one of the most crowded places at the fair. [00:16:44] Speaker B: I wonder what's going on there. [00:16:45] Speaker A: It's a trap. [00:16:46] Speaker B: Of course. [00:16:47] Speaker A: Saturn Queen is already there. She has hypnotized the crowd to attack Saturn Woman, which. Actually, I thought that was a kind of a terrifying panel. [00:17:01] Speaker B: I did too. It looked like Saturn Moment had just back slapped. No, face slapped with the front of her hand. [00:17:07] Speaker A: Oh, no. She would never harm innocent civilians. She would allow herself to be trampled to death before she'd harm an innocent. Hypnotized her? No. Luckily, she understands that hypnosis weakens the will of the hypnotee. Hypnosee. Hypnotee. [00:17:26] Speaker B: The hypnotized person. [00:17:28] Speaker A: Yes. I was trying to use a more cultured word. [00:17:32] Speaker B: Sure. [00:17:33] Speaker A: Than that. [00:17:33] Speaker B: Good for you. How'd that work out for you? [00:17:35] Speaker A: It didn't. Saturn Woman uses her ESP powers. That's short for Extra Sensory Perception. These days we just call it telepathy. She mentally beamed a suggestion to their brain's sleep control centers. And because they were hypnotized, their wills were weakened and they fell right asleep. [00:17:56] Speaker B: Right. [00:17:57] Speaker A: And now she can use her jujitsu on Saturn Queen and get Brainiac 5's location. [00:18:05] Speaker B: Yes. [00:18:06] Speaker A: I do like how this story's moving right along. [00:18:08] Speaker B: Me too. [00:18:10] Speaker A: At that moment in the power plant [00:18:13] Speaker B: of Metropolis Electric Company. [00:18:15] Speaker A: Wow. They're still using electricity a thousand years in the future. I thought they'd at least go to solar. [00:18:22] Speaker B: Well, I mean, you still could use electricity. I mean, solar to generate electricity. [00:18:27] Speaker A: I mean, what about nuclear or. [00:18:31] Speaker B: The goal, of course, being to. To something generate electricity. [00:18:35] Speaker A: I don't know how anything works. Okay, why don't they just have Lightning Lord, Stand there immobile. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Now, who's this Lightning Man? [00:18:44] Speaker A: Lightning Lord. [00:18:46] Speaker B: Lightningman. Oh, Lightning Lord. [00:18:48] Speaker A: Okay, well, there's Lightning Lord. [00:18:49] Speaker B: Lightning Lord is dressing Lightning. [00:18:52] Speaker A: They're brothers. [00:18:52] Speaker B: Okay? [00:18:53] Speaker A: Lightning Lord is evil because on their planet of Wynnaf, the normal thing way of things is that you're born a twin. So everyone has a twin. [00:19:10] Speaker B: Okay? [00:19:10] Speaker A: But Lightning Lord was born without a twin, so of course it drove him crazy and he's angry about it. [00:19:16] Speaker B: Okay? [00:19:17] Speaker A: That's why he hates his brother and sister. His sister is Light Lass, but she was originally Lightning Lass because they were all three crash landed on a planet with Lightning Beasts and they all got lightning powers. [00:19:28] Speaker B: Wow. [00:19:29] Speaker A: But then, of course, as you probably remember, Dream Girl had a premonition that Lightning Lass was be killed. [00:19:36] Speaker B: She died, right? [00:19:37] Speaker A: She didn't die. [00:19:38] Speaker B: Oh, didn't she become something else? [00:19:39] Speaker A: She became Light Lass because Dream Girl used her Naltorian science to change her powers to. From lightning to being able to make things super lightweight. [00:19:48] Speaker B: Okay. I remember that. [00:19:50] Speaker A: Lightning Lad died. [00:19:52] Speaker B: Oh, Jesus Christ. [00:19:54] Speaker A: But he was revived. [00:19:57] Speaker B: Okay. [00:19:58] Speaker A: Then he lost an arm, but then his arm got put back. [00:20:02] Speaker B: Oh, so did he misplace it? [00:20:05] Speaker A: No, it was chopped off. And then he had a metal arm for a while. Then, as you probably also don't recall a story we read where the Luck Lords did something and fixed all the problems that the legionnaires had. Bouncing Boy got his powers back. And Matter Eater Lad was fat, but then he got thin. [00:20:23] Speaker B: I remember that. [00:20:24] Speaker A: And then Lightning Lad got his arm back. Everything turned out great. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Well, I was so worried about tomorrow when I go on the roller coaster that because I'm in my mid-50s, that like an appendage just might fall off on the roller coaster. Like my leg just might fall off. If I do that, will I be able to sew it back on? [00:20:42] Speaker A: Well, I don't think you need to worry about things just spontaneously falling off from the forces. Get it caught in a cog or something. [00:20:50] Speaker B: I won't cut off. Yeah. I won't get it caught in a cog. [00:20:53] Speaker A: I'm sure I'll be worried all day long. [00:20:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:57] Speaker A: Fretting at my desk, wringing your hands [00:21:01] Speaker B: like you're just like your mother. [00:21:02] Speaker A: Just like my mother. [00:21:03] Speaker B: All right. So at that moment, the power plant of the Metropolis Electric Company. Greetings, Garth. Or rather Lightningman. My brother, Lightning Lord, he's using those generators to increase his power. Oh my. So they're gonna trade lightning back and forth. Except that Lightning Lord is much more powerful with standing between those gigantic electrodes. [00:21:23] Speaker A: Yes, right. Yes. Oh, I guess it is atomic power. Because Lightning man, the things. He's drawing his power from that atomic dynamo over there. So Lightning man is taking the lightning blasts pretty well. But then he raises his hands and shoots above his head, countering the current in the wires above Lightning Lord, breaking the circuit and causing feedback and taking Lightning Lord out of the game. Meanwhile. [00:21:55] Speaker B: Meanwhile, on a volcanic plain on the island of Java, we find Polemon. Java, Java. Jabba jing jing jing ba Doom Boom. [00:22:03] Speaker A: As I'm sure you recall, Polarman as Polar Boy was the leader of the substitute heroes. But in the future of the Adult Legion, the subs have just been absorbed [00:22:13] Speaker B: into the regular legion, okay? [00:22:15] Speaker A: As they probably should have been all along. Honestly, Cosmic man was dating Night Girl for the longest time. Of course, they're married now, so she had to retire. You can't be married, woman. [00:22:27] Speaker B: She had to give up her career. [00:22:28] Speaker A: Yes, although I think Lightning and Saturn Woman are married. She's still going strong, but she probably used her ESP powers to. To allow the men to let her keep going. [00:22:40] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:22:43] Speaker A: Suddenly. Hello, Polar Man. [00:22:46] Speaker B: Uh oh, who's this woman? [00:22:47] Speaker A: The name is Beauty Blaze, if you're interested. [00:22:51] Speaker B: Uh oh. A gorgeous woman. [00:22:53] Speaker A: Gulp. A dame. [00:22:54] Speaker B: Mm. She's got a fire medallion. [00:22:57] Speaker A: You know what that means. [00:22:58] Speaker B: He's in trouble. [00:22:58] Speaker A: She's got fire powers. Well, that's the worst possible foe that could go against him. Yeah, SAP his cold powers dry. [00:23:09] Speaker B: Well, why couldn't he just like, overwhelm her with cold? Because he's on Java. [00:23:15] Speaker A: Well, because he's wearing fur is the first issue, so he's already going to be hot. I mean, I wouldn't. I'd be fine against her. I could take all her power and then some. Finally be warm. So she surrounds him in a ring of fire. He's weakening. There's only one chance. The hardened lava rock beneath him is heated by volcanic magma far below the surface. If he can just cool it enough for the difference in temperature to crack open the ground, allowing for him to escape. [00:23:51] Speaker B: Wow. [00:23:52] Speaker A: He sneaks up behind her and taps her on the shoulder with an icy touch. I guess that's what it looks like. [00:24:00] Speaker B: Puts her out. Yeah. [00:24:03] Speaker A: Now he gets the information. Meanwhile, in the chemical laboratory that is the destination of Element man, he comes up upon Cosmic King. Now, you might think that Cosmic King is going to have magnetic powers like Cosmic man does. [00:24:18] Speaker B: No. [00:24:18] Speaker A: Oh no. [00:24:19] Speaker B: What does he do? Have his element changing powers. [00:24:21] Speaker A: Element changing powers Like Element Man? Of course, he doesn't seem to have quite the experience of Element Man. Because Element man easily counters his every move, then changes the floor beneath him into slippery mercury, which will floor him. [00:24:42] Speaker B: Get it? [00:24:43] Speaker A: Also poison him, because mercury is poisonous to humans. Although we don't know that Cosmic King is human, and we don't know where he came from. Element man is the last survivor of his planet. [00:24:54] Speaker B: Okay. [00:24:54] Speaker A: Where everyone had elementary powers. [00:24:56] Speaker B: Wow. [00:24:57] Speaker A: So who knows where Cosmic King, how that happened? Well, he finishes things off with a [00:25:05] Speaker B: punch, as one should. [00:25:11] Speaker A: Because we find out that Element man took the precaution of changing all nearby objects to cadmium, which absorbs plutonium neutrons, preventing an explosion as Cosmic King was trying to turn everything into plutonium. [00:25:23] Speaker B: And apparently, all of the members of the Legion of Supervillains. [00:25:27] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:29] Speaker B: Are holding index cards. [00:25:30] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:32] Speaker B: With the location of Brainiac 5 printed on them. [00:25:34] Speaker A: Yes. And that location is the undersea headquarters of the supervillains. Now, I was under the impression that all the supervillains had been defeated. [00:25:48] Speaker B: Right? [00:25:49] Speaker A: I don't know why the Legion didn't take the five minutes it would take to get them all to the jail. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Yet they left them. [00:25:57] Speaker A: They left them to go find Brainiac 5. And also the supervillains beat them back to the location of where Brainiac 5 is. [00:26:07] Speaker B: Well, there's a reason for that. [00:26:09] Speaker A: The reason is I'm reading it right now. I did not remember the story that I read 15 minutes ago. [00:26:16] Speaker B: Really? I read it yesterday before my nap. [00:26:19] Speaker A: Well, I read it a couple weeks ago, and then I also read it today, actually. They didn't really defeat the supervillains, but solid, lifelike images created by the machine that cast Lightning Lord's face on their wall when he originally delivered the envelopes. [00:26:35] Speaker B: Okay. I mean, they. Solid lifelike images. Every member of that fought a member. Every member of the Legion of Superheroes that fought a member of the Legion of Supervillains that fought with. I mean, like, they touched them. They got close to them. This must be amazing technology that replicates [00:26:55] Speaker A: the holograms like the doctor on. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Oh, yes, yes. [00:27:01] Speaker A: Now, the superheroes are walking right into the trap because they think the supervillains are already defeated. So they walk in, they see Brainiac 5. He's in a giant test tube, but Brainiac 5 is shouting. They can't hear him because he's locked to test tube, and he's got his [00:27:20] Speaker B: hands tied behind his back. [00:27:21] Speaker A: His hands are tied behind his back, but he's shouting. Why doesn't Saturn Woman just read his mind? [00:27:28] Speaker B: Poor Brainiac 5. What if he had to use the restroom? [00:27:32] Speaker A: Get out of Here. I've been holding this a long time. It's really gotta blow. Gasp Suddenly, the supervillains sneak up behind them. [00:27:45] Speaker B: But how? [00:27:46] Speaker A: And a mighty battle ensues. With lots of visible use of powers. [00:27:50] Speaker B: Caught totally unaware, the legionnaires fall back before the crushing attack. They're each facing their foes. Of course, they've been weakened. They are weakened as they fought with the solid light versions of the supervillains. [00:28:07] Speaker A: And with the same suddenness with which it had started. The battle is over. The super villains have won. The legion of supervillains is supreme. [00:28:18] Speaker B: But just then, what happens? [00:28:19] Speaker A: In walks two people, two armored figures [00:28:24] Speaker B: dressed in what appears to be. Yeah, armor. But like futuristic armor. [00:28:29] Speaker A: Yes. Even though one of them has a very 20th century rifle slung around his shoulder. All right, what does armor sound like? [00:28:42] Speaker B: Well, we don't have a cannon here, but yeah, I guess that would be. [00:28:45] Speaker A: He uses the cat bowl. [00:28:46] Speaker B: No. It's full of food. It's full of food. Yeah. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Their armor hides their identities. But no matter. The legion of supervillains are instructed to kill them. [00:28:57] Speaker B: Kill them? [00:28:59] Speaker A: One of them has the ability to make things super heavy and super lightweight. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Wow. [00:29:05] Speaker A: Which they use on the super villains. And the other one, the short one, has magic. He uses his magic to paralyze Beauty Blaze. And so the captive superheroes are released. [00:29:19] Speaker B: We're very grateful, but who are you? Why did you save us? Says Lightning Lass. [00:29:25] Speaker A: Saturn Woman. [00:29:25] Speaker B: Saturn Woman. [00:29:26] Speaker A: Whatever. [00:29:27] Speaker B: Sorry. [00:29:27] Speaker A: As the leaden helmets are removed. [00:29:30] Speaker B: Oh my God. Gasp Gasp in Spanish Es Lex Luthor. [00:29:36] Speaker A: I'm Lex Luthor. I used my scientific know how to give myself the powers of two former legionnaires, Starboy and Light Lass. And I'm Mr. Mxy. [00:29:47] Speaker B: Yes. Piklick. [00:29:48] Speaker A: GASP Two of Superman's greatest enemies. [00:29:51] Speaker B: Ah, but we aren't really Superman's foes. Which they're 30th century. Well, we are their 30th century descendants. It was hard to live down our ancestors reputations, but we figured we could do it by joining the Legion. [00:30:04] Speaker A: It won't be easy to win their confidence. The first Lex Luthor has fought them in the past. [00:30:09] Speaker B: And my brother once tried to wipe them out. As told in adventure number 130. [00:30:15] Speaker A: Wait a minute, brother. Why do they say descendants? We're their 30th century descendants now all of a sudden. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Well, you don't know how long the interdimensional imps live. [00:30:28] Speaker A: Forever, apparently. Now one nit to pick. Lex Luthor of the 20th century was not bald by genetics. [00:30:42] Speaker B: He was bald from a Scientific accident that went wrong. Which he blamed Superman on. [00:30:47] Speaker A: I'm proud of you for knowing all that. [00:30:49] Speaker B: Well, that's an easy one. [00:30:52] Speaker A: So I don't. [00:30:53] Speaker B: Bouncing Boy getting his powers back was not an easy one for me to remember. Nor the lightning last becoming light last because of some psychic vision by Saturn Dames. Old. Yeah, right. Or the Luck Gods or whatever they were. [00:31:09] Speaker A: Luck Lords. [00:31:09] Speaker B: Okay, [00:31:13] Speaker A: so I don't know why his 30th century descendant should be bald. Unless he's just doing it as an homage to his famous ancestor. But he's ashamed of his ancestor for his life of villainy. So he should have a full luscious head of red hair. [00:31:26] Speaker B: Yes. [00:31:30] Speaker A: Mr. Mcjlik got them into the headquarters by magic. They found the clue to where they were. They traced them and arrived just in time. And why the lead suits? [00:31:42] Speaker B: Well, we feared you wouldn't accept us if you knew who we were, so we planned to apply incognito. [00:31:46] Speaker A: Don't bother. [00:31:47] Speaker B: Is that because Superman might see through their lead suits? [00:31:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:50] Speaker B: Okay. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Also, Ultraman could see through lead. [00:31:54] Speaker B: Okay. Could see through lead? [00:31:59] Speaker A: Yes, with his penetra vision. [00:32:00] Speaker B: Okay. [00:32:02] Speaker A: Oh, no, couldn't. Sorry. Could not. [00:32:04] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:32:06] Speaker A: You mean we can't apply even after it's too late? [00:32:11] Speaker B: If I know my buddies, they've already accepted you into our Adult Legion. Unanimously. [00:32:17] Speaker A: Look at that. Lightning Men and Element Men are speaking at the same time. In unison. [00:32:23] Speaker B: Wow. [00:32:24] Speaker A: Wait. Let's do it. It's too late. [00:32:27] Speaker B: If I know my buddies, they've already [00:32:30] Speaker A: accepted you in our Adult Legion. Unanimously. [00:32:37] Speaker B: The end. [00:32:39] Speaker A: So we have two new members of the Adult Legion. [00:32:41] Speaker B: Lex Luthor and Mr. Mxyzptlk. [00:32:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:44] Speaker B: Yeah. All right. [00:32:46] Speaker A: Well, they'll need code names. Lex Luthor needs to have Super Heavy light Man and Mr. McCaspillek. Nobody could say that. He needs to be Magic Man, Mr. M, or the Orange Wizard, Something like that. [00:33:01] Speaker B: Do you think that'll continue in the stories, you think? [00:33:05] Speaker A: Well, I think. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Well, this is a one off because the legion of superheroes is usually the younger versions. [00:33:12] Speaker A: Now, it is later revealed that this whole future scenario never happened. Never happened. [00:33:18] Speaker B: Oh, you're close. [00:33:19] Speaker A: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It did happen, but it was just kind of an alternate reality that was being accessed by the unconscious mind of Pharaoh Men. Okay, Pharaoh Lads twin brother whose name was Christopher. No, hang on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. One of them was Andrew. And one of them was something else. [00:33:55] Speaker B: Emily. [00:33:55] Speaker A: Emily. [00:33:56] Speaker B: Michael. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Bartholomew. [00:33:58] Speaker B: How is your husband? [00:33:59] Speaker A: Douglas. Douglas is the twin. Andrew was Pharaoh Lad. But so it turns out Douglas had been in a coma all this time and he was dreaming of all kinds of different alternate versions. Because I was obsessed with the Legion of Superheroes. Really, it took me a long time because I picked up an issue of Superboy and the Legion of Superheroes. I had no problem understanding the whole Earth 1, Earth 2 situation. But I picked up a random issue of Superboy and the Legion, I believe Listener. It was during the Earth War story, which is very early on in my superhero comics reading days. And I knew who Superboy was. Superman as a boy. I didn't understand. And there was no explanation for why he was in the 30th century. [00:34:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:34:50] Speaker A: And I could not wrap my head around time travel, oddly enough. [00:34:55] Speaker B: How old were you? [00:34:56] Speaker A: Like 10? [00:34:57] Speaker B: Oh, okay. But still, there's lots of sci fi on television. You surprised you couldn't wrap that around. [00:35:04] Speaker A: I know, I know. [00:35:04] Speaker B: Time travel. [00:35:05] Speaker A: But it's just that I took great pride in knowing a lot of deep Superman lore, but somehow had not come across the Legion origin story in which it's explained why Superboy goes back and forth 30th century. So I was very confused. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Was he called to the 30th century? [00:35:26] Speaker A: Well, in the origin story. Maybe I should make you read that. Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl and Cosmic Boy traveled back in time to Smallville because their whole organization was inspired by Superboy, the teenage superhero club. So they came back to Smallville, played little pranks on Superboy, finally invited him to come to the 30th century and join their superhero club, which he did. [00:35:56] Speaker B: But he could only be there temporarily. [00:35:58] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I guess he could stay if he wanted to, but he did have parents that would worry about him. And a sweetheart, Lana Lang. Yeah, yeah. So it was. That was meant to be a one off story, but it was so popular that they came back and back and back and wow. Eventually Supergirl was invited to join. [00:36:20] Speaker B: Wow. [00:36:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:22] Speaker B: Well, speaking of. Lana. [00:36:24] Speaker A: Yes, Sho? [00:36:25] Speaker B: Are you ready to go into the [00:36:26] Speaker A: next story right after this letters page? We are. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Let me get to the letters page. [00:36:31] Speaker A: Dear editor, the forgotten Legion was certainly enjoyable, both for plot and for artwork, but I really think you have gone the limit with so many different members in the Legion. The continual parade of excitingly garbed teenagers that goes in and out of the Legion clubhouse is enough to confuse all but the most gifted fan. True, it is the fact that most of the Legion members participate in each story that makes the Legion unique and different from such organizations as the Justice League. But I Ask you, is this any way to run a supergroup? No. I'd like to know more about each individual Legionnaire, his or her origin in detail, and something about his or her character, as we do of some of the older members, such as Saturn Girl and Brainiac V. It makes the. The story a lot more exciting. How about it? Irene Vardenoff, Lake Forest College, Lake Forest, Illinois. Well, I hope she stuck around, because in the 80s, the glory days of the Legion, they did have smaller stories focusing on individual characters, and it was fantastic. Written by Paul Levitz. That was the heyday. And this other Rand Lee, Roxbury, Connecticut. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. A problem I don't believe has ever been brought up before. The complete UN futuristicness of your version of the 30th century. I don't mean in your depiction of scientific advances. I mean little things. For instance, one, English is spoken all over the galaxy. Two, one always seems to be referring to whole planets, not separate countries on different worlds. Is Earth a united planet, politically? Three, all races look human, and most of them look white, Caucasian. Four, the Legionnaire's verbal repertoire is hip 1966, not 2966. Well, a lot of these problems they did solve in the aforementioned golden age of Legion of Superheroes, except for the diversity. I mean, they had different species, but not really anyone that was from Earth Was white. [00:38:43] Speaker B: Cool. [00:38:44] Speaker A: No, it's not cool. [00:38:46] Speaker B: I'm sorry. It wasn't cool that they fixed it or addressed it. [00:38:49] Speaker A: They didn't fix it. They had one black member, tyrok, in the 70s, and instead of just making him like a normal black teenager from Earth, they made him a descendant of a colony of slaves who had moved to their own island, which was an island that periodically disappeared, like Brigadoon, so he couldn't stay a permanent member. Then they did have the second Invisible Kid, was from Earth and was a Frenchman and was black. [00:39:22] Speaker B: Okay. [00:39:23] Speaker A: But that's two out of 25 permanent members. [00:39:27] Speaker B: Wow. Mm. [00:39:31] Speaker A: I'm not sure they've quite fixed that yet. [00:39:33] Speaker B: Okay. [00:39:35] Speaker A: Although they're aware of the problem. [00:39:37] Speaker B: Good. [00:39:38] Speaker A: They did also establish that when they're not speaking English, they're speaking Interlac. Interlac, which is the intergalactic language. [00:39:45] Speaker B: Well, I thought it was interesting in the latest Supergirl movie that they spoke about the common tongue. Yeah, with English being the common tongue. [00:39:52] Speaker A: Well, see, I'm willing to accept that we, the audience, are hearing English, but they're actually not speaking. Yes, they're speaking something else. They just are not doing subtitles for a summer Blockbuster movie. Oh, yes, listener. We did see Supergirl. [00:40:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:40:12] Speaker A: Crypto was in it a little bit. Yeah. [00:40:17] Speaker B: I think the actors were good. [00:40:18] Speaker A: I think the scripts were very good. It's not. Yeah. I'm admittedly slow. I'm not a fan of the source material that they chose to base the movie on. [00:40:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I even like her as Supergirl. [00:40:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Jason Momoa and I. [00:40:34] Speaker B: Why the hell was he in that movie? [00:40:36] Speaker A: He was great as Lobo. I don't see why Lobo needed to be in it. [00:40:39] Speaker B: Not at all. [00:40:43] Speaker A: He. Yeah, he's fine. I'm not opposed. Even though I really love the sweet, sunny Supergirl, I'm not opposed to having her be a little harder edge. But. [00:40:54] Speaker B: No, no, no. [00:40:55] Speaker A: You know what I would have liked? I loved all the scenes on Argo City. I would have liked if it was just a straight up origin story that explained well. I don't want to give spoilers away. [00:41:08] Speaker B: I just wanted to see it. [00:41:09] Speaker A: I urge you to go see it. If you have an interest. [00:41:12] Speaker B: It's worth seeing. It's just very different. [00:41:15] Speaker A: Yes. [00:41:15] Speaker B: Yeah. But I do like her. And I am. I would like for them to do another movie, but choose a different story. [00:41:25] Speaker A: Well, apparently she's highly featured in the next Superman movie, so. [00:41:28] Speaker B: Oh, good. [00:41:30] Speaker A: Because we'll see. And hopefully Crypto will be there as well. [00:41:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:41:38] Speaker A: And. Yeah, that's that. That's our review. [00:41:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:44] Speaker A: Well, look who's walking on the clubhouse ceiling. [00:41:48] Speaker B: Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to ask something. [00:41:50] Speaker A: Yes. [00:41:51] Speaker B: And this is actually related to comics. I was not. I'm aware of a lot of things about Superman. [00:41:58] Speaker A: Sure. [00:41:58] Speaker B: But I was not aware about the green sun. [00:42:01] Speaker A: I wasn't either. And I wonder if that was in the story that I say I don't like, even though I haven't read the whole thing. [00:42:10] Speaker B: Okay. [00:42:13] Speaker A: Because I thought that a green sun would be hotter than a yellow sun. And the hotter the sun, the more power Superman has. Oh, okay, wait a minute. Let me Google. All right, blah, blah, blah. Robert. How different colored suns alter the biochemistry like super green suns apparently doesn't just rob a Kryptonian of their powers like a red sun. It does so while slowly killing them. [00:42:51] Speaker B: Wow. [00:42:51] Speaker A: Basically doing what Kryptonite also does to them. [00:42:57] Speaker B: Go figure. [00:42:58] Speaker A: Okay, so Superman did come across a green sun in Superman number 155 from 1962. [00:43:05] Speaker B: Okay. [00:43:07] Speaker A: But the Supergirl Woman of Tomorrow story introduced the concept of the green sun not only taking her powers away, but also slowly poisoning her. Yellow suns, of course, give them their Powers? Red suns take their powers away. Blue suns, Which is what Bizarro's world gives Superman. All new powers. [00:43:31] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:43:32] Speaker A: Like Superman vision, which allows Superman to shoot beams out of his eyes and give regular folks Kryptonian powers. Orange suns does reduce their powers in half. And white suns is the hottest known sun and makes them godlike. [00:43:52] Speaker B: Wow. [00:43:53] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, gosh. Violet suns. Oh, come on. Oh. Violet suns allow them to warp reality. [00:44:05] Speaker B: Wow. [00:44:06] Speaker A: I don't know about all that. [00:44:08] Speaker B: I don't know about all that. [00:44:11] Speaker A: Anyway, so stay away from green suns. [00:44:14] Speaker B: Yes. So look. Look who's walking on the clubhouse ceiling. It's Lana Lang, the insect queen. Yes, the famous Bug Bell of Smallville. As you remember, she has that ring. [00:44:23] Speaker A: Oh, I remember. [00:44:24] Speaker B: Yes, me too. Yes, the famous bug bell of Smallville has come to the 30th century to try out for the Legion membership. It's not easy to crash the superhero into the superhero. No, it's not easy to crash the superhero club. But Lana doesn't give up easily. And she's determined to become the six legged. Legged. [00:44:45] Speaker A: Legged. [00:44:46] Speaker B: Legged. [00:44:47] Speaker A: Legionnaire. [00:44:47] Speaker B: Legionnaire. Six legged. Legged. Legger. Six legged. [00:44:53] Speaker A: Actually, this legged sounds better. [00:44:55] Speaker B: Yeah, it doesn't. [00:44:56] Speaker A: Queen's English One day in Smallville, as Superboy returns from a mission. Uh oh. The parade is about to start and Clark Kent is supposed to carry the letter R in charity. All the children are gathered in the street and they all have placards with a single letter on. [00:45:10] Speaker B: And all the boys are wearing red sweaters and all the girls are wearing green sweaters. [00:45:14] Speaker A: It must be Christmas time in Smallville. They're doing a charity parade. Luckily, nobody is near this telephone booth, so Superboy can make a quick change not knowing that Lana Lang is right there to see him. Get in. Superboy, get into the telephone booth. I know you're in there, Superboy. Now I'll learn who you really are. Tee hee hee. [00:45:39] Speaker B: Yipes. Lana Langho's caught him in the middle of a switcheroo. [00:45:43] Speaker A: But good girl. Lana resolutely turns away, promising not to look. She really wants to know who he is, but it wouldn't be right to expose him. [00:45:54] Speaker B: Mm. [00:45:55] Speaker A: Later, as the pretty redhead confides in Clark Kent. Well, she turns her back, but she's not walking away from the phone booth. How's he? [00:46:04] Speaker B: One has to assume that she just decided to walk away. And then he came out of the phone booth when she was out of shock. [00:46:10] Speaker A: Sure, because she's got to get her letter A. [00:46:12] Speaker B: Yes, she's the A in charity I [00:46:15] Speaker A: just looked back to see if the A was there on the first panel and it wasn't good. For Kurt Swan, it said Chitty. Now Clark says, I'm glad you turned away and conquered your curiosity, Lana. I bet Superboy will reward you. And after the parade, indeed. Superboy sweeps Lana up in his arms and flies her to the 30th century. He's gonna let her visit the Legion of Superheroes now? [00:46:45] Speaker B: Are they dating? [00:46:47] Speaker A: Not. No. [00:46:48] Speaker B: Like, he hasn't really Tinder or anything. [00:46:50] Speaker A: No. [00:46:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:51] Speaker A: She's sweet on him. [00:46:53] Speaker B: Yes. [00:46:53] Speaker A: And he's. [00:46:54] Speaker B: He hasn't kissed her. [00:46:55] Speaker A: No. I'm probably. But you know. [00:46:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:59] Speaker A: Innocent teenage kissing. You know how teens were in the 60s. They played the field. I didn't have. It was rare to have a steady. Okay, now he wishes that Lana would notice Clark, of course. [00:47:12] Speaker B: Yes. [00:47:13] Speaker A: But she throws Clark over for Superboy any day. [00:47:17] Speaker B: Same thing with a. [00:47:19] Speaker A: So they arrive in the future at the Legion headquarters, and Lana assumes that she'll be admitted as your guest. Won't I, Superboy? [00:47:27] Speaker B: No, not right now, Lana. There's a closed meeting for Legion business later. The doors will be open for visitors. [00:47:35] Speaker A: Meanwhile, you can take in the sights of 30th century metropolis. Luckily, she brought her bio ring and her insect queen outfit. She's to get an aerial view as Butterfly Girl. [00:47:50] Speaker B: So she has this biogenetic ring given her by an alien whose life she saved. She can change into any insect form she wishes. Wow, that's great. [00:48:01] Speaker A: Well, originally, she could only change into each form one time. [00:48:05] Speaker B: Oh. [00:48:06] Speaker A: But I guess it proved so popular an idea that she now can repeat forms as needed. Suddenly, the around the World Express comes crashing to Earth, aflame. And if the fire reaches their ultradyne fuel tanks, they'll be blown to the four winds. Luckily, Lana understands fire suppression techniques. And she turns into a foam bug. Is that an actual thing? [00:48:40] Speaker B: Ah, I've never heard of a foam bug before. [00:48:42] Speaker A: Well, let's ask Google. [00:48:44] Speaker B: But she extinguishes her excrement. She puts her excrement all over the flames and smothers them. [00:48:51] Speaker A: She does. [00:48:51] Speaker B: She excretes something. [00:48:53] Speaker A: Foam, I guess it's called a spittle bug. Maybe. I don't think there's a such thing as a foam bug. There is now. We can buy bug foam, which is used to kill bugs. But I don't think Lana's trying to kill herself. [00:49:14] Speaker B: So she spreads her excrement all over the plane and puts out the flames. [00:49:17] Speaker A: Or the spaceship and among the passengers. When the rocket ship lands safely why, you're Starboy's girlfriend, Dream Girl. I've met him. And Superboy showed me pictures of the other legionnaires. I'm Lana Lang, the Insect Queen. [00:49:32] Speaker B: Glad to meet you. I'm on my way to the Legion meeting. [00:49:34] Speaker A: Well, I don't know if she should be so glad to meet her, because when Starboy first appeared, he came to the 20th century, Smallville. And he was sweet on Lana. [00:49:42] Speaker B: Oh no. [00:49:43] Speaker A: Uh huh. And he had all Superboy's powers originally. Oh, then his powers got limited and he could only make things super heavy. But I'd think Dream Girl would be up on all of this knowledge and not look too kindly on Lana. Now, Dream Girl says you saved my life, so I owe you a favor. No legionnaire could have doused that fire more expertly than you did. Hmm. So I'm as good as a Legionnaire. [00:50:14] Speaker B: A. [00:50:15] Speaker A: That gives me an idea. [00:50:17] Speaker B: And later, when the legion meeting is opened for new applicants. [00:50:21] Speaker A: Gasp. Lana, you applying to become a Legionnaire? [00:50:24] Speaker B: Why not, Superboy? I have superpowers, you know. I'll demonstrate first as Z a tent caterpillar. I wove my tent around Bouncing Boy. See, it can keep criminals imprisoned temporarily. [00:50:36] Speaker A: Hey, I can't get out. [00:50:38] Speaker B: After Bouncing Boy is freed, Lana gives another bio ring diminishing demonstration to a human fly. Walking upside down comes naturally. I could creep into criminals dens and pounce on them from above. [00:50:49] Speaker A: But verdict? [00:50:51] Speaker B: Yeah, go ahead. [00:50:52] Speaker A: Invisible Kid says sorry, Lana, a legionnaire must have natural powers, but yours come from that bio ring. Please sit there with the other rejectees. [00:51:06] Speaker B: Go on, sit down. [00:51:08] Speaker A: So I'm not good enough, eh? Well, you haven't heard the last of the Insect Queen. Suddenly an emergency call comes in from Ice City in Antarctica. They're being threatened by an alien criminal, Invisible Kid, who's the leader, apparently. Orders Chameleon Boy, Shrinking Violet and Clazo Boy fly to Antarctica and take this job on the double. And off they go. Now Lana wants that favor from Dream Girl. [00:51:36] Speaker B: Yes, [00:51:39] Speaker A: you can see into the future. Tell me whether those three legionnaires will run into any serious dangers in Antarctica. Yes, all three will. But the perils are not clear. I also have a warning for you, Lana. If you change into a moth maid, it will lead to tragedy. That's all I can see. [00:52:02] Speaker B: That's it? [00:52:03] Speaker A: That's it. Well. [00:52:05] Speaker B: Well, I have other thousands of other insects that I could choose from. So now I'll tell Superboy that his friends are in danger. [00:52:11] Speaker A: So Superboy is informed and off they fly to Antarctica. [00:52:15] Speaker B: Don't change into a Mothmaid. [00:52:17] Speaker A: Do not change into a Mothmaid. Later, near the South Pole. It's Ice City, carved out of the Antarctic ice cap. Thousands of people live there, Lana. But aren't they always freezing from the cold? [00:52:32] Speaker B: No, because Bob doesn't live here. [00:52:35] Speaker A: Also, they wear heated plastic parkas. Where can I get one? Anyway, Superboy gets one for Lana to wear. They meet the other legionnaires. And elsewhere, on a monitor screen, their every move is being watched. So the famous Legionnaires are butting in, eh? I'll use my voice projector's microphone to speak to them. [00:52:56] Speaker B: So he does. He is this might. This voice comes from nowhere. Greetings, superheroes. [00:53:01] Speaker A: You fools. [00:53:02] Speaker B: You can't defeat Auger Khan. Auger Khan? [00:53:06] Speaker A: I don't know Auger Khan. [00:53:08] Speaker B: Listen to my story and you'll see how hopeless resistance would be. I was a condemned criminal on my world, which was. Which has no capital punishment. So I was sentenced to slide the plank, frozen in a block of ice. But as my living brain dimly sensed, a meteor later struck my ice block and deflected me down toward Earth's south polar ice cap. Luckily, I landed in a deep snowbank and rode safely down the mountain slope. [00:53:38] Speaker A: It is lucky that you descended from orbit and landed at a snowbank. Yes, that was a lucky break. [00:53:47] Speaker B: What are the chances? [00:53:49] Speaker A: As soon as I was completely restored to animation, I used my mind over matter powers to convert the atoms of these stones into metal machinery. Now I will conquer this ice country and live like a king. [00:54:05] Speaker B: As the ruthless aliens story ends, the city refused to surrender to me. So I'll destroy it with my hot wind machine. Handsome, somebody was trying to destroy me with some hot wind this morning. [00:54:18] Speaker A: Was it me or the dog? Oh, it was me. I remember now. Okay, we are here. You are alive and well. So Colossal Boy grows to giant size to stop the wind and builds a giant fort of ice blocks. However, Augur Khan races to the scene in his rocket ship and shoots Clozalboy with a black cloud of soot. He's blinded, he's stumbling around. He's about to stumble into an ice crevice. But luckily, Lana's on the scene. [00:54:57] Speaker B: She turns her into a firefly and her. But no, it's her thorax. Yeah, her thorax lights up. [00:55:08] Speaker A: I've noticed a lot of fireflies this year, and I like more than normal. [00:55:14] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:55:15] Speaker A: Remember that man when we went to my cousin's wedding and all his friends came from Denver, and we were standing outside the hotel and the shuttle bus unloaded, and all the drunk young people got off the bus. And this man walked up, threw his arms around me and said, I've never seen a firefly before. I'm so sad, Because, you know, they don't have them west of the Rockies. [00:55:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:45] Speaker A: Yeah, well, that's my story, all right. Lana glows and prevents Clauselboy from plunging into a crevasse. Shrinking Violet takes off to tail Agricon's rocket ship, try to find his secret hideout, and Londa's gonna follow her. Meanwhile, everything is going wrong for Agra Khan. [00:56:08] Speaker B: Yeah, seriously, unfortunate events. [00:56:13] Speaker A: He returns to his lair, where Shrinking Violet finds him. She enters. Unfortunately, Agra Khan has a sentinel plant planted on the cold ground. [00:56:27] Speaker B: It's the deck of his ship, right? Or is it inside? Is he inside? [00:56:31] Speaker A: It's inside his headquarters. I mean, she's tiny thighs, but this plant sees her and it can talk. [00:56:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:37] Speaker A: Master, look out. An intruder. Well, Shrinking Violet just shrinks more. And he fires a ray gun, but she shrinks out of the way. So she has a choice. Well, first he throws more seeds on [00:56:54] Speaker B: the ground, which immediately pop up into killer planes. [00:56:58] Speaker A: They're instant plant seeds, so Shrieking Violet can choose to remain small and possibly get eaten by a plant, or grow big and get hit by a ray blaster. She chooses to stay small. And she does, in fact, get snatched up by a Venus flytrap. Luckily, Lana arrives on the scene and changes into a leaf cutting bee in a small enough size. I was not aware that Lana could change size. [00:57:26] Speaker B: Me neither. [00:57:27] Speaker A: That is new information to me, which it shouldn't be, as I'll explain in a minute. She saws off the hungry plant stalk, saves Shrinking Violet. Meanwhile, Augur Khan has had time to set up his second machine. An ultrasonic horn with powerful sound waves that will shatter all crystals, including ice. When it reaches Ice City, it will crumble in ruins. Ha ha. [00:57:51] Speaker B: Guarding Ice City, the Boy of Steel is a poison appalled at the sonic assault. [00:57:55] Speaker A: Well, Superboy's gotta put a stop to this. Of course. [00:57:58] Speaker B: So, what does he do? [00:57:59] Speaker A: Well, he's punching the machine, but Oger Khan has green kryptonite dust in his ship, which shoots out weakened Superboy. Lon is on the job again as Dragonfly Girl. She saw the whole thing happen. She's got to find a way to shake the green kryptonite dust off Superboy's uniform. But the only insect she can think of is the Sphinx Moth. [00:58:29] Speaker B: Right. [00:58:30] Speaker A: Dreamgirl warned me not to turn into a Mothmaid, but I can't Let Superboy die. The Sphinx moth is often mistaken for a hummingbird because they both can vibrate their wings at super speed and hover in the air. I'm going to tell you right now, if I saw a moth coming at me that that was the size of a hummingbird, I would die. I would fall dead on the ground. Especially if its wings were moving super fast like a hummingbird. Yes, hummingbirds are bad enough. [00:58:58] Speaker B: Oh, hummingbirds are cute, they're darling. [00:59:01] Speaker A: But a giant moth? If it flies at my face in insect form, then I'm dead on the ground. You can put that on my tombstone. [00:59:14] Speaker B: Of course you remember that. [00:59:15] Speaker A: The superhero graveyard. [00:59:18] Speaker B: Of course you remember that time when I was a child in Florida, you know, Remember that story about being locked out of the house at night? [00:59:23] Speaker A: Yes, yes. The giant Luna moth. [00:59:24] Speaker B: Yes. Because my, I was afraid of luna moth and my stepfather, who was very mean, said to me, you shouldn't be afraid of a moth. I said, but it's the sense of a bird. [00:59:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:59:35] Speaker B: You know, And I said, I am afraid. And he said, all right. And he gave me a jar and he said, you go out there and get that moth and put it in this jar. And I said, he said. He pushed me out the door and he locked the door and he said, you're not coming back in here until you get that moth. And I had to sleep outside that night in the hammock in Florida. And I woke up and I was covered in head to toe mosquito bites. Covered. Absolutely covered. [01:00:02] Speaker A: Did you catch the moth though? No. Um, well, I'm glad he's dead. [01:00:09] Speaker B: Me too. [01:00:11] Speaker A: All right. Lana frees Superboy. He gets his strength back. She got rid of all the dust, but my bio ring flipped off my finger. Without it, I can't change back to human form. [01:00:23] Speaker B: Oh, no. Yeah. Oh no. [01:00:25] Speaker A: So dream Girl's vision has come true. [01:00:27] Speaker B: Yes. [01:00:27] Speaker A: Even with X ray vision, Superboy can't see his ring, her ring, anywhere. [01:00:31] Speaker B: If you can't find it, it's gone forever. Sob, choke, sob. I'll be moth girl for life. Meanwhile, chameleon boy, who can adopt any form he wishes, has become a swift duck hawk in order to pursue the alien's ship. [01:00:45] Speaker A: Is that a true thing? A duck hawk? [01:00:49] Speaker B: I guess. I've never heard of a duck hawk, but. [01:00:52] Speaker A: Oh, it's a peregrine falcon. [01:00:54] Speaker B: Okay, why don't they just say falcon or. [01:00:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know. So he then Oger Khan shoots an egg out of the ship which immediately [01:01:10] Speaker B: bursts into a full grown eagle. [01:01:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:01:12] Speaker B: To attack Chameleon. [01:01:14] Speaker A: Chameleon boy. Well, Chameleon boy's got the better of him. He turns into a winged octopus. [01:01:20] Speaker B: Mm. [01:01:22] Speaker A: So. And he's gonna have a coming out party for Agar Khan. He squeezes the ship, bursts it open, and Agar Khan falls to his death. Luckily, Superboy catches him later. The whole Legion is here to hunt for Lana's ring. They've searched for an hour with no luck. But how can I go home as a human moth? Luckily, Light Lass is on the scene. She uses her powers to make things super lightweight. And if your ring is within range, it'll become lighter than air and rise. Right now. Well, they don't see the ring, but suddenly, Superboy's cape starts floating. As you know, Rob, he has a secret pocket. He has a secret pocket in his cape where he keeps clothes. I do know that the ring had somehow fallen into the pocket of Superboy's cape. [01:02:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:20] Speaker A: And Lana gets her ring back and all is well. And finally, back in Smallville, she looks on. [01:02:27] Speaker B: She's been given what, some sort of poster or something? [01:02:30] Speaker A: A poster that says, lana Lang, member of superhero reserves. [01:02:35] Speaker B: Aww. [01:02:35] Speaker A: How wonderful, Superboy. Though I can't be a regular member, I'm now in the Legion reserve. [01:02:42] Speaker B: You deserved it, Insect Queen, for saving the Legionnaires. Including me. [01:02:47] Speaker A: Also in the Legion reserve is Pete Ross, Superboy's friend, who knows he's Clark Kent, but has kept it secret all these times. [01:02:54] Speaker B: Okay. [01:02:55] Speaker A: Elastic Lad, Jimmy Olsen, who also gets his powers artificially so he can't be a full time member. Kid Psycho, who does have natural powers, but each time he uses his powers, it shortens his life by one year. [01:03:09] Speaker B: Wow. [01:03:09] Speaker A: So they won't let him be a real member. [01:03:12] Speaker B: Wow. One year. [01:03:14] Speaker A: Yeah. And Rond Vidar, who is the son of the Legion's greatest foe, Universo. But he uses his intellect for good, so he is a reserve member. And he later gets a Green Lantern ring. [01:03:29] Speaker B: Wow. [01:03:29] Speaker A: For his trouble. Wow. [01:03:31] Speaker B: You know so much. [01:03:33] Speaker A: I do. It's actually astonishing me how much I'm recalling. Now, this story is my very favorite Legion of Superheroes story of all time. [01:03:40] Speaker B: It is? [01:03:40] Speaker A: Really? Because as I told you, I was very confused about the Legion of Superheroes, but I tried to dive back in and get back into it. And at my local library, they had these little Tempo books, little paperbacks. There was a Justice League one, a Batman one, a World's Finest, a Wonder Woman, and a Legion of Superheroes. And they had reprinted stories in little paperback editions. And this story was in the legion of superheroes 1. [01:04:11] Speaker B: Was it in color? [01:04:12] Speaker A: It was not. It was a black and white newsprint. And because it was just a tiny little paperback, like, they had, like, two panels per page, they had to cut it up. So, strangely, I believe at this point, I did know about Lana's insect Queen identity, because, as I told you, I tried to know everything about Superman and Superboy and. But I didn't know anything about the Legion of Superheroes. I mean, I knew very little. I knew that Dream Girl existed, But in the 70s, she was not appearing very frequently, and so I'd never seen her. So I was so excited to see Dream Girl appear. And, of course, later, Dream Girl became probably my favorite member because, per Irene Vartanoff, when Paul Levitz was writing in the 80s, he did develop all these individual personalities and backstories, and Dream Girl was portrayed as, you know, flighty bimbo who only cared about being pretty. But she actually was probably the smartest, only second only to Brainiac 5. [01:05:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I had no idea. [01:05:26] Speaker A: Well, now you do. Yeah. And once I give you all the comics from every Legion story ever to read, you'll know as much as I do. [01:05:35] Speaker B: Great. [01:05:36] Speaker A: You can find us on social media at GoGoChekPod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. And you can find us right back here next week with what? Detective comics. [01:05:50] Speaker B: Oh, good. [01:05:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Batman and Robin and Elongatedman. [01:05:53] Speaker B: Oh, Elongated Man. [01:05:54] Speaker A: He's our favorite. [01:05:55] Speaker B: He is. Bye. Wondering why so we're kicking out the hedge of brightness looking for the world to find men giving you a chance [01:06:13] Speaker A: to look inside your mind you be [01:06:17] Speaker B: thrown up into misery life's not the way it used to be looking at you like trouble leaving it all behind.