You're the Top! (Flash 169)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, let's go. [00:00:04] Speaker C: You know what to do. [00:00:05] Speaker B: The whole world's watching and counting on you. [00:00:08] Speaker A: And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Flash 169. Cover date April, May 1967. Cover price, 25 cents. Cover artists Carmine Infantineau and Joe Giella. Edited by Julius Schwartz. Featuring Beware the Atomic Grenade, written by John Broom. Authority, art by Carmine Infantino and Joe Giella. And the Mirror Master's Magic Bullet, written by John Broome. Art by Carmine Infantineau and Murphy Anderson. And the Return of the Super Gorilla, written by John Broom. Art by Carmine Infantineau and Joe Giella. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:16] Speaker D: If you're walking in the shadows Then it's time that you get wise. I just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes. When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You're gonna push the blues away. [00:01:43] Speaker B: Barry Allen's friend Anton Previn, a fashion designer, has arrived in Central City. Barry introduces him to Iris and learns from her that a new villain, the top, has been committing crimes. Then Barry is guarding a rare mirror exhibit at an art museum when the Mirror Master arrives to steal the mirrors in the collection. Finally, Gorilla Grodd escapes from Guerrilla City. Solivar, the city's head scientist, contacts the Flash to help find Grodd. Flash runs to Guerrilla City and learns that Grodd has. Has retained his force of mind abilities. Confused? Don't worry. I'll be right back with Dr. Husband to explain everything. It's an 80 page giant. 80 page giant? It's a comic that's got 80 pages. An 80 page giant. [00:02:31] Speaker A: Let's go. [00:02:32] Speaker B: An 80 page giant. Spring has sprung and there's mucus in my lungs. Something's in the air and I feel it everywhere. [00:02:42] Speaker A: I'm so sorry. [00:02:43] Speaker B: Well, it's not your fault. [00:02:45] Speaker A: No, this time I suppose because you look so handsome today. [00:02:51] Speaker B: Well, I. Thank you. [00:02:52] Speaker A: I love that shirt. [00:02:54] Speaker B: It's. I'm wearing a 1950s bowling shirt. Listener. [00:02:57] Speaker A: It's retro though. It's not an authentic like. [00:02:59] Speaker B: Right, right, right. [00:03:00] Speaker A: It's so cool. [00:03:01] Speaker B: But there was a time not so long ago I wouldn't have been able to button it up. [00:03:06] Speaker A: That's, that's true. [00:03:07] Speaker B: I dropped a couple of stone. I said stone for our international listeners. [00:03:12] Speaker A: Yes, well, so, yes, you, you were complaining to me earlier today about the allergies, weren't you? [00:03:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I've got that sinusy drippy sore throat thing. [00:03:23] Speaker A: Listener. We live in the mid Atlantic states and everything is blooming. And I, I, I say this not because I'm, I don't, I'm not saying that I'm better than you or anything. You know, I have terrible allergies in the spring and the fall. And so a couple weeks ago I started taking Zyrtec and Flonase and I'm feeling great. [00:03:46] Speaker B: Well, I procrastinate, as you know. Yes, but we can't procrastinate today because we've got a flash 80 page giant. [00:03:53] Speaker C: 80 page giant. [00:03:54] Speaker B: And we both have things to do, so we've got to speed through it. [00:03:59] Speaker A: No kidding. [00:04:01] Speaker B: It's the whirlwind adventures of the fastest men alive. It's flash number 169. It's an 80 page giant. It's a choice collection of the Scarlet Speedster's most treacherous traps. Deadly dooms. [00:04:14] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Well, are you excited? [00:04:17] Speaker A: I was until I started reading them. [00:04:18] Speaker B: Oh, no. What happened? [00:04:21] Speaker A: Well, I turned the pages and the content inside was stupid. And so there we go. [00:04:29] Speaker B: But these are classic Flash tales. [00:04:33] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:34] Speaker B: In fact, it's a choice collection. [00:04:37] Speaker A: That choice is a very liberal term. No, it's not. Awful listener. Just bear with me. It's okay. It's just the same sort of trope over and over again. Let's trap Flash with some sort of gimmick. [00:04:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:52] Speaker B: Well, you know, Flash is known for his rogues gallery of unique villains. [00:04:57] Speaker A: Is he? [00:04:58] Speaker B: Yes. [00:04:58] Speaker A: Okay. [00:04:59] Speaker B: In fact, there's one story I had a very tough choice to make. Whether to cover a Gorilla Grodd or Abracadabra. But I believe we have covered Abracadabra on this podcast. So I went with Gorilla Grodd. The Flash, the mighty Flash, speedier than a streak of lightning. Almost met his match when he found himself challenged by an incredible foe who called himself the Top and whose forte was spinning objects all the way from children's toys to mighty bombs of destruction. [00:05:34] Speaker A: Beware the atomic grenade. It was very clever of himself to call himself the Top because he spins. He spins. Wow, that's so clever. We call himself Spinnerette, you know, or the Rotator, or I feel like there [00:05:51] Speaker B: is a spinneret somewhere. [00:05:54] Speaker A: Oh. [00:05:57] Speaker B: The top is a super villain appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics. His name is Roscoe Dillon. [00:06:07] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:08] Speaker B: He's a small time crook who turns his childhood obsession with Topps into a criminal Persona. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:15] Speaker B: He's dead now. [00:06:16] Speaker A: Oh, no. How did he die? Flung himself off the earth. What an unfortunate thing. I'm so sad. Oh, I'm so sad. [00:06:26] Speaker B: And then he got mental powers. [00:06:28] Speaker A: Oh, [00:06:33] Speaker B: I'm trying to read Wikipedia. I don't remember. He died before I was reading comics. [00:06:38] Speaker A: Okay, so how unfortunate. [00:06:41] Speaker B: I know. [00:06:41] Speaker A: Yeah. We don't have any more of him, so let's. Shall we dive into the actual story itself? I can guarantee you I'm going to have a few tangents. [00:06:49] Speaker B: All right, just off the transatlantic plane, an international celebrity gets in touch with an old friend. [00:06:55] Speaker A: Shall I do his voice since he's French? [00:06:57] Speaker B: Yes, please. [00:06:57] Speaker A: Barry, this is Anton Preven. I have just now arrived into your country. [00:07:02] Speaker B: Anton, this is wonderful. Where are you? At the airport. I'll pick you up. [00:07:07] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. Stay where you are, Bar. I have a reason for coming to see you. See you soon, mon ami. [00:07:12] Speaker B: Well, Barry thinks this is exciting. I met Anton on a trip to Paris five years ago, and we became fast friends. Since then, we corresponded, and I've watched his meteoric rise in the world. He's now the world's foremost designer of women's fashions. When I tell Iris about this, she'll flip. [00:07:31] Speaker A: Miss? [00:07:32] Speaker B: Yes? [00:07:32] Speaker A: Is he homosexual, please? [00:07:33] Speaker B: Well, I assume so. I mean, even if not, not all fashion designers are homosexual. No, but this one, there are women fashion designers. [00:07:44] Speaker A: This one dresses like a homosexual. [00:07:46] Speaker B: Well, he's also French. You have to bear that in mind. So. [00:07:50] Speaker A: That's true. Didn't we love seeing the fashions in the windows when we went to Milan? [00:07:54] Speaker B: Oh, yes. In Italy. And what do they call it? [00:07:57] Speaker A: The men's fashion? [00:07:58] Speaker B: The risorgimento. When the people walk down the street. Yes. [00:08:00] Speaker A: Was that what it's called? [00:08:01] Speaker B: Resorgame? [00:08:02] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:08:03] Speaker B: Oh, passeggiata. Passeggiata. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:08:07] Speaker B: Risorgimento. [00:08:09] Speaker A: That's an English term. That's a term in music. Music history. What? Risorgimento. It's Italian. That's an Italian opera history term. [00:08:20] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:20] Speaker A: I used verismo in class today, by the way. [00:08:22] Speaker B: Atta girl. [00:08:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:24] Speaker B: I'm wondering how police scientist Barry Allen on a trip to Paris five years ago, which is probably he was single then. [00:08:33] Speaker C: How? [00:08:33] Speaker B: He ran into an fashion designer. Is he like my sister? That he'll just walk into a bar and talk to everyone and make friends all over the world. [00:08:41] Speaker A: I envy her for that. [00:08:42] Speaker B: I know. [00:08:43] Speaker A: She has such a talent for that. [00:08:44] Speaker B: You can talk about her all you want because she won't be listening to this. [00:08:47] Speaker A: Oh, that girl. Your younger sister can walk into any bar anywhere in the United States or in the world. In the world. What am I saying? In the world. And just strike up a conversation with anyone that can speak English, and she will make friends immediately. [00:09:01] Speaker B: She just the other day sent us all an Instagram reel of a guy from Wales that she met in Croatia. [00:09:09] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:09] Speaker B: And they're still corresponding. [00:09:11] Speaker A: Yes. He's a singer. [00:09:13] Speaker B: I wonder if someday he'll come to the United States and call her on the telephone from the airport. [00:09:17] Speaker A: I don't know. So shortly, the research scientist, who in his secret identity is none other than the Amazing Flash, receives the answer. That is great, Barry. In this portfolio are my latest creations, but I want to keep them a secret until tomorrow when they are unveiled to the public. [00:09:34] Speaker B: I see. Well, you've come to the correct place, Anton. I'll put your designs here in this headquarters safe. Now, you can be sure no one will get a look at them until you're ready. [00:09:46] Speaker A: Ah, what a relief. Now we have a long talk, eh? [00:09:50] Speaker B: I guess so. They go to lunch. [00:09:52] Speaker A: Mm. [00:09:55] Speaker B: Now. So, Anton, you want to meet some American women? [00:09:59] Speaker A: Look at his hand up in the air. And his hand on the hip. He's. [00:10:03] Speaker B: He's for sure gay. [00:10:04] Speaker A: Yes, yes. To get your opinions on clothes, Barry. I am most curious about their point of view. [00:10:10] Speaker B: Well, he's gonna take her over to the offices of Picture News to meet Iris. Her eyes will pop. [00:10:17] Speaker A: Oh, so he's gonna take her to see his reporter girlfriend. [00:10:21] Speaker B: Yes. But shortly, it's Barry who receives a surprise. [00:10:25] Speaker A: You mean you haven't heard the news? Barry, an amazing new criminal has just appeared in Central City. And I've just written up. I've just written up. I've just written up the story. This is where, like, I was literally just pages into this and was like, eye roll, eye roll. A new criminal who we will learn is called the top. [00:10:48] Speaker B: Yes. [00:10:48] Speaker A: Whose gimmick is throwing tops. And she wrote up the story. [00:10:55] Speaker B: She's a news hen. What else is she gonna do about it? [00:11:00] Speaker A: Just appeared. The criminal just appeared. Like, his friend came in from Paris. [00:11:07] Speaker B: Now, they were at lunch for some hours. [00:11:10] Speaker A: Oh, okay, okay. [00:11:11] Speaker B: If you carefully read your text boxes. [00:11:14] Speaker A: Oh, you're right. Some hours. So there was enough time. [00:11:16] Speaker B: Barry even thinks there. It must have happened while I was tied up with Anton? Oh, so? [00:11:20] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't do that. [00:11:24] Speaker B: He burst on the scene in an outlandish costume. People were at first amused, but they didn't laugh for long. At Wimble's department store he robbed the payroll. On the crowd filled street after his escape, he seemed to come to a dead end. But as people rushed at him, he threw a top which shot out plastic streamers like confetti entangling the passersby. [00:11:49] Speaker A: It was stronger than plastic, though. [00:11:52] Speaker C: Sure. [00:11:53] Speaker A: Steel, like. [00:11:53] Speaker B: Strong as steel. And so he got away. And every policeman in the city has been alerted? [00:11:58] Speaker A: That's true. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Well, this sounds like something the Flash better attend to. But first, meet Anton Previn. [00:12:08] Speaker A: The anton Previn? Gosh, Ms. West, you are beautiful. [00:12:13] Speaker B: Imagine me face to face with Anton Previn. Well, they've forgotten Barry's existence. So off he goes, and Iris and Anton go for, I guess, more lunch. [00:12:27] Speaker A: Anton's pretty hungry. [00:12:28] Speaker B: I find Anton perfectly fascinating. He's driven all thoughts of the top and the story I wrote from my mind. He's the sort that invites confidence. [00:12:39] Speaker A: Tell me more about you and Barry, Iris. [00:12:42] Speaker B: Well, I do feel Barry could be more romantic. Anton. When we first met, he was very attentive. But now he seems to take me for granted. [00:12:53] Speaker A: If you will permit certain suggestions with me. Barry likes it when I hold him closely and cup my hand on the small of his back. [00:13:02] Speaker B: It doesn't say that. Bless her. [00:13:07] Speaker A: He says. He says, if you will permit me certain suggestions. No offense, dear, but a change in hairstyle and makeup. Just a sousant of difference, if you like. I myself will personally supervise the new Iris West. [00:13:21] Speaker B: Oh, Anton, you really would. [00:13:24] Speaker A: I'll speak no more. We start at once with the transformation. Come, Ms. West. [00:13:30] Speaker B: Well, all right. While Iris prepares to give her boyfriend Barry a bit of a surprise, what of the young scientist himself? He wasted not a moment. For as soon as he was outside the picture due's office, he changed to the Flash. [00:13:43] Speaker A: We do not need an explanation of how he changes into the Flash because this little sequence happens in every single story. [00:13:51] Speaker B: Yes, yes. Well, you never know. You're gonna have a new reader, right? So he takes off searching the city, but there's no sign of the top. [00:14:00] Speaker A: Mm. Mm. But then he overhears on the radio. The police radio. Car 124, Car 1 and 24 proceed immediately to the armored car company at the corner of Market and Main. A robbery in progress. [00:14:12] Speaker B: Well, Flash thinks he better check it out just in case. [00:14:15] Speaker A: Mm. [00:14:16] Speaker B: Well, probably Barry. If it's a robbery in progress. You ought to check it out no matter what. All right. He comes to the corner of Main and Market. And he does indeed find the top. Catches him red handed. The top throws a top on the ground. It's got a smoke bomb. Nobody. The cops are helpless. But Barry runs right into the smoke. And to the astonishment of the crimson comet, the top starts whirling. Just like one of those tops he throws. [00:14:54] Speaker A: Wow. [00:14:55] Speaker B: It's a little stunt. [00:14:56] Speaker A: It's fascinating. [00:14:58] Speaker B: A little stunt he's been saving. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Boy, I would be really intimidated by that. As if somebody's spinning like a pool. [00:15:04] Speaker B: Well, look at that. His spinning action sends the Flash flying. He loses his balance and goes oofed on the ground. [00:15:11] Speaker A: True. [00:15:13] Speaker B: Everyone in the city will soon learn that the top always comes out on top. Hehe. [00:15:22] Speaker A: I hope no one ever overheard him say that because they point and laugh at him. On the edge of town, seclusion of his hideout, an old Fashioned. Excuse me. An old abandoned blacksmith shop. The top notch thief relaxes. [00:15:35] Speaker B: 45,000, 46,000. Not bad for a guy who a little while back was only Roscoe Dillon, a penny aunty crook. And not even a successful one at that. When I think how far I've come in just a few months and how much farther I'm going to go, it makes my head swim like a top. [00:15:55] Speaker A: Oh my God, I'm so funny. [00:15:58] Speaker B: And I owe it all to one simple thing. When I was a kid, I came across an old box in an attic full of tops. I soon learned that the objects were old fashioned tops that were very popular with fellows many years earlier. [00:16:14] Speaker A: So I bought a box of some old junk. It's a good thing that he didn't find a box of bear traps. Yes, right. He would have become the bear trap. [00:16:22] Speaker B: Or rifles or something. [00:16:24] Speaker A: Or staples. No, no one can stand up against the power, strength and quick, quick clickety danger of the stapler. [00:16:33] Speaker B: Or remember when you were a kid, did you go to the dentist? My dentist had a box of Gee gaws. No, erase. Remember those erasers that you'd stick and it'd be like the Frito Bandito or Fred Flintstone or something? [00:16:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:47] Speaker B: Box of character erasers. I'm the character eraser, all right. Later, when as fate and my destiny would have it, I drifted into crime, there came a day when I thought of using my old boyhood hobby of spinning tops to give myself a new method of operating. That's it. As soon as I get out, I'll study everything I can get a hold of on Tops. I'll become an expert on tops, and then we'll see. [00:17:16] Speaker A: I love how you say that. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Tops are amazing. They're linked up with intricate scientific devices like gyroscopes. Although they've been just about forgotten, they are the basis for some of the most startling advances in science. I feel like tops have not been forgotten. No, I know what a top is. [00:17:35] Speaker A: I'm wearing a top right now. [00:17:36] Speaker B: You sure are. I mean, we have dreidels everywhere every year at Hanukkah. [00:17:41] Speaker A: Yes. That no one's forgotten the magic of tops. We also know what gyroscopes are. [00:17:47] Speaker B: Yes, yes. And close relative fidget spinners. [00:17:51] Speaker A: Yes, [00:17:53] Speaker B: Roscoe, Maybe there was a fallow period in the 60s when everyone had forgotten tops. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Had forgotten about tops. [00:18:00] Speaker B: Or maybe the writer of this story was just an adult and didn't think anybody played with tops anymore. [00:18:06] Speaker A: Maybe he just didn't have any toys as a child. Well, no, he would have known about tops. [00:18:10] Speaker B: He would have known about tops and hoops with sticks. [00:18:13] Speaker A: Maybe the writer of this thing grew up in an orphanage and the only toy he had was a top. [00:18:17] Speaker B: Oh, let's see, though. What if he grew up in an orphanage? It's written by John Broom, I believe. Let me check my carefully constructed notes. Yes, John Broom. John Broom, who additionally used the pseudonyms John Osgood and Edgar Ray Merritt. Now, Broom was born Irving Broom to a Jewish family. He would have had tops. [00:18:44] Speaker A: He would have had dreidels. [00:18:45] Speaker B: Once a year, of course. Come on. John Broom. Well, he didn't grow up in an orphanage. [00:18:52] Speaker A: I'm surprised he didn't say that. You know, tops are the greatest thing since sliced bread. [00:18:57] Speaker B: But he was born in 1913. Maybe he grew up in a tenement house in New York City. [00:19:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:03] Speaker B: He died in Chiang mai, Thailand, aged 85. [00:19:08] Speaker A: Thailand? [00:19:09] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:10] Speaker A: My goodness. Wow. [00:19:13] Speaker B: Well, you know, it's cheap to retire there, and they have a lot of tops. So he gave himself a new uniform to suit his new personality. And I've got to hand it to Roscoe Dillon. Not everybody can get away with horizontal stripes. He can. But, brother, he does. Now, these crimes he's committed so far were just practice runs now. [00:19:37] Speaker A: Oh, wait, you skipped over something. What? He's talking about how he learned to spin himself like a top at incredible speed. And simultaneously, he made a startling discovery. The spinning action increased his brain power. [00:19:51] Speaker B: Yes, because by spinning, he drives the cells of his brain towards the outside of his brain, and that gives him increased brain power. [00:19:57] Speaker A: That's not what he says. But Is that what you've. [00:19:59] Speaker B: That's what I just read a while ago, yes. [00:20:02] Speaker A: Oh. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Now, why be a hunted criminal when I can run the whole world, which itself is merely a gigantic top? [00:20:13] Speaker A: Well, that's quite a leap. [00:20:14] Speaker B: This is like. Did you ever read the Little Dot? Richie Rich's friend, Little Dot, who was obsessed with dots. And she saw everything. She saw if it was round, she imagined it was a dot. She called it a dot. So in. In her world, the Earth would be a giant dot. Giant spinning dot. [00:20:34] Speaker A: And since her name was Dot, she could, of course, she could make the leap from running her life to running the world. [00:20:42] Speaker B: Yes, with ease. And do you know, she was so popular that not only did she have her own eponymous comic, but she also had the equivalent of an 80 page giant little Dots. Dot Land. [00:20:56] Speaker A: Oh my God. [00:20:57] Speaker B: And a spinoff series, Little Dot's Uncles, CPO Sharkey. Now, later that very afternoon, a startling figure cuts into all television channels to announce, unless all the people on Earth recognize me as their ruler at once, I shall destroy half the Earth by means of a secret device I have constructed based on the inner principle of Tops. [00:21:23] Speaker A: That's an incredible leap from a childhood toy to the destroyer of the world. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Yes. As the startling pronouncement throws the nation into a furor, one individual at least remains calm but grim. It's the Flash. Whether the Top can carry out his terrible threat or not, I've got to stop him before he can even try. And there's one possible way to track him down by means of that all channel broadcast of his. [00:21:47] Speaker A: At breathtaking pace, the Scarlet clad Speedster carries out a novel tracking procedure. [00:21:53] Speaker B: By vibrating at super speed, he can detect the directions along which the TOPS broadcast traveled to different TV stations around the City. City. And by following up these trails, I should locate my quarry at the point where they intersect or their point of origin. It's 1967. How many TV stations could Central City have? Four at most. Yeah, maybe five if they have an independent channel. But you've got three networks of PBS, and I don't even know if PBS existed in 1967. I guess it must have. [00:22:25] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:22:26] Speaker B: Oh, I'm just gonna say yes. [00:22:28] Speaker A: Okay. [00:22:30] Speaker B: You know, I was so jealous of Indianapolis when I was growing up. [00:22:33] Speaker A: Why? [00:22:34] Speaker B: Because in my town we only had the three networks, plus pbs, and PBS reception was always spotty. And then when I was about, I don't know, 10 or 11, my grandmother got cable TV, which showed an Indiana Indianapolis station which was an independent station, not one of the networks and not pbs. And they showed just old cartoons that I'd never seen and reruns of shows I'd never seen, like petticoat junction and F troop. [00:23:07] Speaker A: I'm surprised. [00:23:08] Speaker B: It was like a whole new world opened up to me. [00:23:10] Speaker A: I'm surprised you didn't pack one of those hobo sacks on a stick and put it and walk the tracks to indianapolis to set up a new shop there to live there. [00:23:17] Speaker B: Well, it was a much shorter walk to my grandmother's house, and she had air conditioning also, so kind of worked out for the best. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Why didn't I think of that? [00:23:26] Speaker B: Soon, on the outskirts of central city, he finds the top, whose superior mental powers derived from spinning. Told him he would have to deal with you before I took over the world. So he's ready with some specially prepared bola tops. Bolas, of course, are two tops tied together with a string. [00:23:48] Speaker A: Mm. [00:23:49] Speaker B: And the flash is trapped. He can't move. And now he's ready to get rid of the flash By a unique method worthy of the top. Time for him to move his giant atomic grenade outside and start it spinning. [00:24:06] Speaker A: So this grenade, this atomic grenade, has the power to destroy half the earth. Does the top actually understand that if he destroys half the earth, it's gonna have a really bad effect on the other half? [00:24:16] Speaker B: On the remaining half? Yeah, probably not. He probably didn't think that through. Also, apparently, this grenade can spin for 10 hours because that's how long the governments of earth have to make up their minds whether to surrender to him or not. At the end of 10 hours, the atomic grenade will slow down, and as soon as it stops, it will explode, Destroying this half of the earth. But it won't hurt me when it goes off, Because I'll be on the other side of the globe by then and safe from harm. [00:24:45] Speaker A: I was thinking that if the top had not said that the earth was like a top and therefore he could rule the earth. [00:24:51] Speaker B: Yes. [00:24:52] Speaker A: I would have called him a flat earther and just thought, well, if I destroy this half of the earth, I'll [00:24:56] Speaker B: just go, like breaking a cookie in half. [00:24:58] Speaker A: Cookie in half. Yeah, yeah. [00:25:01] Speaker B: But, you know, if he goes to the other side of the earth, you, know where he'll be? Thailand. [00:25:06] Speaker A: Oh. [00:25:07] Speaker B: Oh, John. Vroom. Deep cut. Meanwhile, where is the flash? Sad to tell you, our hero is at this moment in a situation fraught with the direst peril. He's inside the atomic grenade, and he's spinning like. What is that? Ride affair. [00:25:23] Speaker A: Tilt the world. All right. Yeah. The gravitron the one we lean back. And then. And then if it goes so fast, the. The platform that you're on is on wheels, and it goes up to the ceiling. It's called the Gravitron. Yes, it is. That's what it's called. [00:25:36] Speaker B: The first time I rode one of those, I was in junior high school, and I had a very fashionable puka shell choker. Well, if you're wearing a choker on Gravitron, you actually get choked. [00:25:51] Speaker A: It wasn't that bad. [00:25:53] Speaker B: It was pretty bad. [00:25:53] Speaker A: It just felt bad. [00:25:54] Speaker B: I was a fat child, so everything hurt more. Plus, it wouldn't. Because I was fat. I didn't ever really get the full effect. I just slid down like ooze. Like the Green glob. [00:26:09] Speaker C: He doesn't spin fast enough to whip [00:26:11] Speaker A: me up to the ceiling. [00:26:12] Speaker B: Make her go faster. I'm slipping. Calling upon every. Well, now the Flash sees that the grenade is slowing down. And so calling upon every ounce of his fantastic. Speedability. That's one word. Speed. Ability. [00:26:29] Speaker A: Speed. Ability. [00:26:30] Speaker B: Flash vibrates himself at such a rate that the molecules of his body slip as the molecules of the grenade wall. And the grenade continues to slow down. So it flashes, runs around it, makes it speed up again. [00:26:42] Speaker A: Yeah, because he doesn't want it to stop spinning, Otherwise it'll explode. [00:26:45] Speaker B: I can't keep this pace up forever, so I've got to figure out how to remove this danger for good. [00:26:49] Speaker A: Well, he speeds up, and then he speeds it up and then builds up its momentum and then launches it out into outer space. [00:26:57] Speaker B: But it's got to go faster. Faster. I've set it up at better than escape velocity, which we learn. Seven miles a second. It's a flash fact. It's going so fast, it will never return to Earth. And now to track down the top. At incredible super speed, the Flash threads its way over countless thousands of miles and finally. Oh, not Thailand. North coast of Africa. So the top now understands why his atomic grenade didn't go off. And now, top, you're going to spin. Topsy Turvy. [00:27:35] Speaker A: This is a little weird. [00:27:37] Speaker B: Yeah. So he gets that. I guess he gets that bolo top throws around the top, turns him upside down, starts him spinning. Oh, no, that's not the bolo. That's Tops flying out of his costume, which who knows where he's keeping those because he doesn't have a belt or anything. All right, he turns the top upside down, starts him spinning until he drills into the earth and strikes oil. [00:28:03] Speaker A: So I had a problem with this. Yeah, the top yeah, the super villain. [00:28:08] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Does not have superpowers. [00:28:10] Speaker B: He can spin super fast, but not. He's got brain power. [00:28:14] Speaker A: Okay, but he doesn't have super skin or super healing ability or steel like skin or anything like that. Right. So if he spins fast enough that his body becomes a drill and drills down deep into the earth and strikes oil. [00:28:28] Speaker B: Yep. [00:28:30] Speaker A: He would. By the time he reached down, I don't know, 10ft or so. Yeah, he would just be a skeleton with mushy, fleshy parts. He would be dead. [00:28:40] Speaker B: Sure. [00:28:41] Speaker A: Flash would have literally killed him doing what he did. [00:28:45] Speaker B: Well, now the Flash did start him spinning. So maybe the Flash's super speed aura is protecting him as he spins down into the Earth. [00:28:55] Speaker A: I know there's a listener out there who agrees with me. [00:28:59] Speaker B: Shortly, he carries the top back across the ocean, predicting that the courts will sentence you to at least 1,000 years in jail. Well, that's one consolation. No convict can top that prison term. [00:29:17] Speaker A: Later, with the top safely behind bars, Barry Allen appears once more at police headquarters. [00:29:22] Speaker B: Now to return these valuable fashion signs to Anton Previn. [00:29:27] Speaker A: Remember, this whole story started with his friend, the fashion designer. We're gonna come back to that. Okay, go ahead. [00:29:33] Speaker B: With the top. In jail, there's hardly any danger anymore that they'll be stolen. There probably was not much danger that they'd be stolen before this point. [00:29:42] Speaker A: However, when Barry goes in, goes to keep an appointment with Ant. Iris. Well, Barry, what do you think of the new Iris? [00:29:50] Speaker B: She's so beautiful, I'm speechless. [00:29:52] Speaker A: Barry hasn't said a word. That means he doesn't like it. And if Barry doesn't approve, I don't care what anyone else says. [00:29:59] Speaker B: Fuck Barry. Isis. Isis. Iris. [00:30:02] Speaker A: Iris. [00:30:05] Speaker B: Later, with Anton's visit only a memory, frankly, I feel better this way, too. Barry. [00:30:12] Speaker A: So she goes back to her old hairstyle. Yeah, her old matronly. She looks like an old school. June. Allison. June. [00:30:18] Speaker B: June. [00:30:18] Speaker A: Who is the woman who was the mother on Lost in Space? [00:30:23] Speaker B: Oh, June Lockhart. [00:30:24] Speaker A: June Lockhart. She looks like June Lockhart. [00:30:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:30] Speaker B: All right, Barry, fine. You like the old Iris? Good for you. She's gonna die, too. [00:30:36] Speaker A: Oh, God. [00:30:37] Speaker B: Oh. [00:30:38] Speaker A: Oh, they remind me. [00:30:39] Speaker B: Oh. [00:30:41] Speaker A: So I taught Song Song lit today, right? And I am behind the class in the class by about a week and a half. And so I'm trying my best to get through these. These things, but it's my favorite section of the class. American Art Song. American and British Art Songs. And so I forgot. I usually go through and update all my notes to see who's dead, Right? [00:31:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:07] Speaker A: Now, I told the children about how you and I will watch old movies and. And some. Just once in a while, out of the blue, one of us will go, she's dead. Yeah, he's dead. Everybody in this scene is dead. Right? So I started with a history of American art song, right? And I'm doing it. And that there's people on there, like Ned Rorem in my notes and somebody else who had just a born date on there, Right? [00:31:33] Speaker B: Right. [00:31:34] Speaker A: Because for some reason, I forgot to change their. Add their death date. [00:31:37] Speaker B: Right? [00:31:38] Speaker A: So as I'm going through and I'm talking to her, and I go, oh, he's dead. And then I go, and I'm going through it. Today was an overview of the entire body of literature. And I said, just a quick overview. And I said, oh, he's dead. They got the giggles. And one of them, out of the blue, said, it's like you're watching one of your movies. Which was a deep cut. I never thought they were paying attention to that. [00:32:01] Speaker B: God loved them. [00:32:02] Speaker A: I know, right? [00:32:05] Speaker B: In the duel between the sizzling man of super speed and his tricky antagonist, the Mirror Master, the Flash was confident of victory, until a surprise trap was sprung on this beaster and turned him into an obedient slave of his foe, [00:32:21] Speaker A: the Mirror Master's magic bullet. Okay, this is the story that pissed me off. Not the top story. The Mirror Master, what does he do? He stands around with mirrors and does things with mirrors. [00:32:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:41] Speaker A: This makes him a rogue. This makes him a villain. What the hell? [00:32:46] Speaker B: He's one of Flash's major villains. [00:32:49] Speaker D: What? [00:32:50] Speaker B: He also died, and there's a new one now, but he can also, like, go inside. Like, he can teleport through a mirror. They can go in and then reappear in a mirror. Okay, not in this story, obviously. [00:33:01] Speaker A: No, this one, he's just some Joe Schmo. There's a bunch of mirrors laying around his apartment. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Well, when he was a child, he found a box full of mirrors up in the attic. [00:33:09] Speaker A: Which people had forgotten about. [00:33:10] Speaker B: Which people had forgotten about. [00:33:11] Speaker A: Right? [00:33:12] Speaker B: So, okay, all right. Barry's at work. He notices something on the official Teletype machine in his laboratory. Ever since Mirror Master broke jail by one of his fantastic mirror tricks, I've been hoping to get on his trail, and now maybe I've got a league. League? I can't talk today. A league. [00:33:34] Speaker A: You sound like me. [00:33:36] Speaker B: And the Duke of Ferrand will unveil this afternoon the fabulous collection of antique mirrors that he has brought to this country. Heirlooms of his family for centuries. Wow, that's a fabulous collection of mirrors. [00:33:50] Speaker A: About as exciting as going to the paper museum. [00:33:52] Speaker B: Remember? And I know you do. When we first moved to Florida, and I was unemployed, and I was setting up the house to teach private voice lessons, and our colleague from school came and brought a mirror for my little voice studio. She walked in and presented it and said, you've got to have a mirror. Mirror, mirror, mirror, she said three times out loud. In hindsight, maybe she was hexing us. [00:34:26] Speaker A: Maybe. Oh, yeah, she. [00:34:28] Speaker B: Maybe she could get into our house through the mirror. [00:34:31] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. I hadn't thought about that. She had created a portal. She stopped by unannounced. That used to piss me off. [00:34:40] Speaker B: Really? I think she only did one time. That one time when she brought the mirror. [00:34:43] Speaker A: No, she did twice. Both times she stopped by unannounced. [00:34:47] Speaker B: Okay, well, that's. You know, that's never stopped by unannounced. My mother would go to anywhere. She would drive across the country, and if she had a third cousin, she'd roll up to their house and drop in. [00:34:58] Speaker A: Hi. [00:34:59] Speaker B: I brought you ten pounds of Vidalia onions from Georgia. That's a true story, actually. Listener. All right, now, unless I miss my guess, says police scientist Barry Allen, this bound to attract the Mirror Master like a honey hive draws bees. [00:35:18] Speaker A: Good God, I've lost my. Where are you? In the middle of the page. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Okay. [00:35:22] Speaker B: So Barry later approaches the Museum of Antique Arts, having managed to get headquarters to assign him as part of the police protection force for the Duke of Ferrand's exhibition at the museum. Mm. Inside, Barry is introduced to the Duke's daughter, Bettina. [00:35:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I think she's gonna remain single for a long time. [00:35:45] Speaker B: Why? Because she's such a weird face? Yes, well, you know, they're likely inbred British royalty. I don't know if he's British, but European. Would you like Bettina to show you around the collection, Mr. Allen? She knows as much about it as anyone. That duke looks like John Waters. He does? With little mustache and everything. Unfortunately, Bettina also looks like John Waters, [00:36:14] Speaker A: so let me see if I can do her voice. So, is she British? [00:36:18] Speaker B: I don't. Let's just make her. Since we're talking about old movies, let's make her that amorphous European ish accent from the 1930s movies. [00:36:28] Speaker A: This mirror comes from Roman days, Mr. Allen. It's not of glass at all, but a highly polished metal. And. And this hand mirror, ringed with gems, is reputed to have been Used by Marie Antoinette. [00:36:41] Speaker B: It seems a pity your father has to part with all these, Miss Bettina. [00:36:45] Speaker A: Yes, but we must, Mr. Allen. Taxes are so high in England. Oh, she is okay. But we must, Mr. Allen. Taxes are so high in England that Father must realize the cash from these mirrors in order to keep our estate going. [00:37:00] Speaker B: Oh, Bettina, why don't you open up your estate to public tours and then allow a television show or a moving picture to film there outside, another visitor is about to make her appearance. [00:37:13] Speaker A: Barry and I have a sort of date. A sort of date? Yeah, a sort of. When I told him over the phone I'd been assigned to this exhibition by my paper, Picture News. Why she has to say that in her brain? Why don't you see that? It's like. [00:37:26] Speaker B: What if it's someone's first issue of the Flash? Okay, he's got to get all the information out. [00:37:31] Speaker A: I'm gonna run to the grocery store, Food lion, to get some groceries later on. [00:37:36] Speaker B: Well, now that makes sense, since there's three grocery stores within driving distance here. Okay, Food Lion's not the best one. [00:37:41] Speaker A: When I told him over the phone that I'd been assigned to this exhibition by my paper, Picture News. [00:37:45] Speaker B: Is she English now too? [00:37:46] Speaker A: I'm sorry. He said it would be. He said he would be here too, but he didn't say why. I might as well go on. And Barry will be late as usual. [00:37:55] Speaker B: Well, how do you like that? There's Barry, and I see he is on time. And I see why he's with that [00:38:01] Speaker A: squishy faced girl, Mrs. Baroness Pug. [00:38:07] Speaker B: Now Barry tries to get Iris attention as she walks. [00:38:10] Speaker A: Well, there's Iris now. [00:38:11] Speaker B: Well, hi. [00:38:11] Speaker A: Hi, Iris. [00:38:12] Speaker B: Humph. I must remind myself never to speak to Barry Allen again. [00:38:16] Speaker A: Oh, those must be the new neighbors. [00:38:17] Speaker B: The unmitigated gall of those men. Where? I can't see. [00:38:21] Speaker A: Well, they've already walked past. He's got a really, really long white beard. Have you seen him? [00:38:25] Speaker B: Oh, I have. Yes. [00:38:26] Speaker A: Yes, they're very friendly. I wave at them once in a while. [00:38:30] Speaker B: Well, are they in the bully's house or in the way back sits off the road? House? [00:38:36] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know whose house they're in. I'm afraid to go back there. I've been so scarred. [00:38:41] Speaker B: I know, right? [00:38:42] Speaker A: I don't take the dogs. I don't dare take the dogs back there. [00:38:44] Speaker B: Elephants? [00:38:45] Speaker A: No, no. [00:38:46] Speaker B: Meanwhile, as Barry suspected, the collection has aroused someone else's attention. Mirror Master has rented an apartment alongside the museum and setting up a Few hidden mirrors. I can view the fabulous collection at my leisure. No one in there realizes that the Mirror Master is about to pull one of his famous coos. But I'm wasting time. [00:39:07] Speaker A: It's a good thing he sits around in the privacy of his own apartment with his hood on. [00:39:11] Speaker B: I never understood his costume because he's got, like, giant ear maxi pads. Green maxi pads. [00:39:19] Speaker A: Green maxi pads. That's exactly it. Yes. Yeah. [00:39:23] Speaker B: All right. He has pre cut a section of wall between the apartment and the museum. That seems like a security risk because he needs the mirror collection for his own collection. Barry sees him carrying. [00:39:40] Speaker A: That's something I understand. [00:39:42] Speaker B: What? [00:39:43] Speaker A: Like, just feeling like you've gotta have something. Oh, they're the walkers. Oh, I like her hair. [00:39:48] Speaker B: Our dog's gonna bark. [00:39:49] Speaker A: Yes. [00:39:49] Speaker B: Has she got a haircut? [00:39:50] Speaker A: It's. It looks like it's been straightened a little bit. It's. [00:39:53] Speaker B: Oh, it's cute. [00:39:54] Speaker A: You'll see your hair in a second. [00:39:55] Speaker B: Is it bouncy? [00:39:55] Speaker A: Because maybe he is catching the wind. But. But it looks really like. Like, very springy. Like, not springy springy. Like, like the. The. The just. [00:40:04] Speaker B: You mean the seasonal. [00:40:05] Speaker A: The seasonal, yeah. It looks lovely. Look at it. Do you see it yet? [00:40:08] Speaker B: No. [00:40:08] Speaker A: Did you see her? [00:40:09] Speaker B: Oh, there they are. But I can't see her. I go into the tree. [00:40:12] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:40:13] Speaker B: For heaven's sakes. Well, maybe Butler won't see her. And he won't bark. He doesn't bark at the man. Where were we? Barry sees the Mirror Master carrying off the Roman and the Marie Antoinette mirrors. [00:40:25] Speaker A: Oh, I was just saying that I know what it's like to feel like you've just got to have something. [00:40:29] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I for sure do, too. [00:40:30] Speaker A: Oh, hell yes. [00:40:32] Speaker B: All right. Mirror Master goes back through the hole in the wall. We're not allowed to explain how Barry turns into the Flash. Apparently not. [00:40:41] Speaker A: Again. Come on. The costume's inside his ring. It springs out of his ring and it's pressurized. Springs out of his ring and becomes a full size costume. He jumps into it at super speed. There you have it, listener. [00:40:53] Speaker B: Barry races into the apartment after Mirror Master, but he crashes into Mirror Master's mirror image. Flash, you should have realized that Mirror Master would have a mirror trick up his sleeve. Of course, now Flash is still coming after him. Now it's only natural that Mirror Master should make his escape by means of mirrors. He tosses these stolen mirrors out the window. [00:41:21] Speaker A: The priceless stolen mirrors. [00:41:22] Speaker B: Barry's got to go after them running [00:41:24] Speaker A: down the road faster than the speed of Gravity. [00:41:26] Speaker B: That's a Flash fact. By means of his extraordinary speed, the Flash is enabled to defy gravity itself and can run up and down buildings at will. [00:41:33] Speaker A: And he gets to the ground before the mirrors crash and catches them. [00:41:37] Speaker B: If only he could catch the Mirror Masters easily. Now, Flash goes back up to the apartment. He finds a key on the ground. [00:41:46] Speaker A: A key? [00:41:47] Speaker B: The key does not fit the lock, so it must be the key to another place. Possibly the secret hideout of the Mirror Master. [00:41:53] Speaker A: So what will he do, Listener? [00:41:55] Speaker B: He's going to put the stolen mirrors [00:41:57] Speaker A: back where they belong and then try that key in every lock, everywhere in within miles. Within. Within every single lock? [00:42:12] Speaker B: Yes. He's to find the Mirror Master speed. He can do it. He went to every television station in town. Why couldn't he go to every lock in town? [00:42:22] Speaker A: There must be. He's a detective, isn't he? [00:42:24] Speaker B: Well, he's a police scientist. [00:42:26] Speaker A: There must be a better way to do that than to try the key in every lock at super speed. [00:42:33] Speaker B: Well, if there is, then no one thought of it in time to get it into this story. [00:42:38] Speaker A: Okay. [00:42:39] Speaker B: Meanwhile, in the Mirror Master title. [00:42:42] Speaker A: Listen, sir, I'm really not jaded like this. In real person, I'm. Well, maybe I am. [00:42:46] Speaker B: Yes, he is. [00:42:50] Speaker A: I think of one listener who's probably just screamed at his radio. [00:42:53] Speaker B: Yes, he is. Mirror Master prepared the means recently to deal with the Flash by way of a mirror duplicator, a device of his own invention. Anything that happens to an image in that mirror will happen to the person himself who casts the image. And I've arranged for something interesting to happen to Flash as soon as he gets here. Flash arrives at a charming little cottage on the outskirts of town. After having tried the key in about 100,000 doors in the city. He's batting 100,000, and what do you know? It fits. He finds the Mirror Master. Mirror Master has this mirror which already has an image of the Flash on it. He shoots a gun at it, the [00:43:43] Speaker A: mirror shatters and Flash takes hit points. Yeah, Damage. [00:43:50] Speaker B: And when Flash opens his eyes, not long after, he's inside a bell jar. [00:43:56] Speaker A: This is where. This is like a Bob Haney story. [00:43:59] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's not. Amazingly enough, this was written by, well, John Broom. All of these were written by John Broom. Now, Flash is a genie in a bottle. [00:44:16] Speaker A: A genie in a bottle. Baby, come and help me find a baby in the market on Amazon. [00:44:24] Speaker B: What? [00:44:24] Speaker A: Oh, so Jeannie in a bottle was Britney Spears. [00:44:27] Speaker B: No. Christina Aguilar. [00:44:29] Speaker A: Oh, are you sure? [00:44:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:30] Speaker A: Oh, then that. Forgive me, that pop culture reference made no sense at all. I was thinking about. I thought it was Britney Spears. And then Britney Spears has recently got in trouble. Adopt a baby on Amazon. She was high or something. And. Yeah, she drove her car and got arrested. [00:44:42] Speaker B: Yeah, well, the real words are very nasty. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby [00:44:49] Speaker A: Come and rub me the right way [00:44:52] Speaker B: all right. Now, Mirror Master, all his life, has wanted to have a genie in a bottle. And now, at last, he's got one. So who could be a more perfect servant than Flash, the super speedster, capable of all sorts of wonders? [00:45:08] Speaker A: Okay, so there's one thing that I don't want to have. What? [00:45:12] Speaker B: A genie in a bottle. [00:45:13] Speaker A: A human being in a bottle that I have to care for. [00:45:16] Speaker B: Right. We used to call that slaves. [00:45:18] Speaker A: Yeah, A human being, like human beings produce waste. [00:45:23] Speaker B: Yeah, and that bottle is not that big. [00:45:26] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:45:29] Speaker B: All right. He breaks the bottle open after surrounding it with smoke for, you know, stage effect. For some reason, Flash is compelled to follow Mirror Master's orders. [00:45:44] Speaker A: Yeah. He doesn't explain how he does it. [00:45:47] Speaker B: Well, it's something to do with the vibrations. [00:45:50] Speaker A: Yes. And the vibrations of paralyzes will. [00:45:54] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:54] Speaker A: So it's a form of very, very strong hypnosis. [00:45:59] Speaker B: Now, Mirror Master has heard that the taste of fresh Arabian figs is indescribable. Only we never get them fresh in this country. So I command you to go to Arabia, pluck some figs for me from the trees there and come right back. Now, hurry up, be off. Which Flash does Flash goes off. He knows that something's wrong with his mind. He shouldn't be taking orders from Mirror Master. But he can't help himself. Something's forcing him to. He runs across the ocean itself. Flash fact. Just as a shell will skip over the waves if thrown fast enough, so the incredible Flash travels so quickly he can run right over the water. [00:46:35] Speaker A: He comes back with the figs in [00:46:37] Speaker B: hardly any time at all. I like a figs of Araby. We have some down on the counter. [00:46:43] Speaker A: No, not dried figs. [00:46:44] Speaker B: Oh, well, I'm sure we can get some at the farmer's market. [00:46:48] Speaker A: Did you know that figs can only be made by wasps? The figs are. Not germinated. Not germinated? What is that called? Pollinated. [00:47:05] Speaker B: Pollinated by wasps. I did. Nobody hipped me to that. Dude, is that a flashback? [00:47:11] Speaker A: Who's he barking? [00:47:12] Speaker B: The walkers. He saw her. Now, is that a Flash fact? No, I'm just gonna say it is Flash fact. Figs can only be pollinated by wasps. [00:47:20] Speaker A: Yeah, see, look, her hair looks lovely. [00:47:23] Speaker B: I can't see her anymore. [00:47:24] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, she's had it. It looks like it's been highlighted or something. [00:47:27] Speaker B: Well, she's lovely. She's retired. She has time for that sort of thing. [00:47:30] Speaker A: They're such nice people. [00:47:32] Speaker B: All right, now, Mirror Master, while Flash was gone, got the yen to hold some snow from the highest peaks of the Himalayas. It's true. So off Flash goes, running up the Himalayas to get snow. [00:47:45] Speaker A: So to get snow, keep the figs cold. [00:47:46] Speaker B: Bring it back. Now. I'll use the snow to keep the figs fresh. All right. Since you prevented me from stealing those valuable antique mirrors, Flash, I've decided to make you steal them for me. On your way, pal. [00:48:02] Speaker A: But at the mirror exhibition. [00:48:04] Speaker B: Instants afterward, something's happened to me as I was going for these mirrors. If I'm right, it's a sign that the Mirror Master, in his greed, has pushed me too far. [00:48:14] Speaker A: Back at the super swift time. What? [00:48:19] Speaker B: Back at super swift time. Speed's the crimson comet. [00:48:22] Speaker A: Oh, God. I put the article the in there and completely messed up the meaning in my brain of what I was reading. [00:48:29] Speaker B: Okay, so Flash, Mirror Master has overplayed his hand. [00:48:32] Speaker A: Flash, you've returned without the mirrors. What does this mean? [00:48:35] Speaker B: You may have heard, Mirror Master, that under hypnosis, a person will not do anything he would not normally do anyway. You cannot hypnotize an honest person into committing a crime. Wha. Whaaat? And the spell you put me under was like hypnosis. When I reached out a hand for those mirrors of the exhibition, something within me snapped and I was myself again. Unfortunately for you. [00:48:55] Speaker A: Go. That evening at the picture. So he takes him down. [00:48:59] Speaker B: Yes, that's it. [00:48:59] Speaker A: He takes him down and takes him into custody that evening at the Picture News office after the cunning crook has once again been placed under custody. [00:49:08] Speaker B: But Iris, I tell you, patina means nothing to me. I was at the exhibition officially as part of the police guard. [00:49:15] Speaker A: Oh, well, that's different, Barry. I didn't realize. And it explains why I didn't see you after the Mirror Master showed up. You went out after him, didn't you? [00:49:24] Speaker B: That's right, Iris. And who knows? I might have caught up to him if the Flash didn't beat me to it. [00:49:30] Speaker A: Oh, Barry. [00:49:32] Speaker B: These stories, of course, are all reprints taking place before Barry and Iris were married. But even though they are married, she still doesn't know that he's the Flash. [00:49:40] Speaker A: In our Continuing. In our timeline of reading. [00:49:44] Speaker B: Yes, in our timeline of reading. Now I'VE got some bad news, Rob. What? Grodd, the amazing ape with the mind of a genius, an evil genius makes a surprise reappearance to challenge his nemesis, the Flash. [00:49:57] Speaker A: Well, I want to say something. [00:49:58] Speaker B: Yes? [00:49:59] Speaker A: I liked this story because I didn't know a lot about Grodd or where he came from, or even that he was part of a race of super intelligent gorillas. [00:50:08] Speaker B: Okay, good, good. [00:50:09] Speaker A: I thought. I. Forgive me. Oh, my God. [00:50:11] Speaker B: No, go. [00:50:12] Speaker A: I'm sorry. I just did. I thought he. He was smart from some sort of scientific experiment that made him that way. [00:50:19] Speaker B: Sure, right. Yeah. [00:50:22] Speaker A: And so, as the story progresses, I was like, oh. Oh, isn't this interesting? [00:50:26] Speaker B: Oh, I'm glad. Yes. [00:50:28] Speaker A: So I'm not all that bitter, but [00:50:30] Speaker B: you did know Gorilla Grodd from Super Friends? [00:50:32] Speaker A: Yes, of course. [00:50:34] Speaker B: Once again, the fastest man alive counts on his super speed to overwhelm his foe. But this time, the flash of speed turns out to be the very means by which Grodd plans to defeat the scarlet Speedster. Return of the super gorilla on a Midwestern farm. As Hank Jones begins his day's chores. [00:50:54] Speaker A: Oh, wanna. [00:50:55] Speaker B: He hears a noiseful morning. [00:50:58] Speaker A: Oh. What? He's seeing that himself on his. [00:51:02] Speaker B: A strange sort of tractor borer shoots up from below the earth as fast as he can. He goes on down the gas station to call the county sheriff. [00:51:12] Speaker A: How should I know where it came from? But you better get out here quick. All the plants for a mile around, I think, are dying. [00:51:19] Speaker B: Plants dying? That's no good for a farmer. [00:51:21] Speaker A: No, of course not. That's his livelihood. [00:51:23] Speaker B: At the same time, in a corner of New England, a forest ranger patrols. [00:51:28] Speaker A: What's that? An earthquake? [00:51:30] Speaker B: The next moment, another one of these strange borers. [00:51:33] Speaker A: Where on the earth did that come from? That's my New England accent. [00:51:36] Speaker B: That's very good. [00:51:36] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:51:37] Speaker B: As the ranger makes his report. [00:51:39] Speaker A: And then, within a minute, the water in. Hold on a second. And then, within a minute, the water in every nearby well, Brook Pond Lake, had dried up. It must have something to do with that borer. [00:51:50] Speaker B: In newspapers all over the country, extreme strange metallic objects shoot up from Earth. [00:51:57] Speaker A: And while the thoughts of the nation are focused on the amazing mystery, elsewhere, in a city known only to one man in the entire world, another problem has arrested attention. [00:52:10] Speaker B: Yes, it's Guerrilla City in the heart of savage Africa, where head scientist Salivar faces an emergency. [00:52:20] Speaker A: Can you tell me anything about Guerrilla City? [00:52:22] Speaker B: So Guerrilla City is a city of intelligent gorillas in the heart of darkest Africa. [00:52:33] Speaker A: I gathered that from that little bubble There. [00:52:35] Speaker B: So I believe in the previous story. I believe this is only the second appearance in the previous story, Flash discovered Gorilla City, or they summoned him for help or something, because Gorilla Grodd has mental powers above and beyond those of the other super intelligent gorillas. Oh, where was I done on the [00:53:00] Speaker A: panel on page 47. [00:53:02] Speaker B: So. But I believe this story is the first time that it's discussed that Guerrilla City is hidden from the world by whatever vibratory field or something. Also, Salivar later on is described as the king or leader or something of Guerrilla City. Not just lead scientist. And he wears a fabulous cape. Later on. Yes. Now there was a Congo Bill story where he discovered a city of intelligent guerrillas, which in theory is the same Guerrilla City, but did not have Guerrilla Grodd or Salivar. [00:53:39] Speaker A: Okay. [00:53:40] Speaker B: Or anything like that. So they found Grodd's guard unconscious. The cell door had been ripped apart, and analysis shows that he could have escaped as long as a week ago. But we only just discovered it. [00:53:54] Speaker A: So that that gorilla has been laying there for a week, Unconscious, apparently. Oh my God. I hope he's okay. [00:54:01] Speaker B: Oh, what would Solivar talk like? [00:54:04] Speaker C: This is terrible news. I promised our friend Flash that we would keep Grodd well guarded. Now we must notify Flash at once. [00:54:13] Speaker B: Swiftly, Salivar reaches for an instrument on his desk. Information. [00:54:19] Speaker C: Get me Flash's vibration aura number. It must be on file. Flash was in Gorilla City not long ago, and the vibration recorders would automatically have registered his vibration frequency. [00:54:33] Speaker B: I'll check. I'll check. Sir. [00:54:35] Speaker A: That's the. That's the operator. [00:54:38] Speaker B: Uh huh. You were right, sire. Solivar, that's a gorilla did register Flash's vibration aura. The number is gamma frequency 548321. [00:54:51] Speaker C: Contact flash at once. I'll hold. [00:54:54] Speaker B: Yes, sir. [00:55:02] Speaker A: She goes Rawr. That's the whole music. [00:55:08] Speaker B: I forgot to mention that Guerrilla City has since been discovered to have been the home of several famous simian creatures in the DC Universe. Like Sam Simeon from Angel and the Ape and Grape Ape. He's not DC Universe. He was briefly when DC was publishing all the Hanna Barbera properties. But Detective Chimp, I believe, comes from Detective or Guerrilla City. [00:55:35] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Wow. My goodness. From the Hidden Gorilla City. An energy burst flares upward. Now this looks like an amoeba. [00:55:43] Speaker B: No, it looks like a thought balloon. [00:55:46] Speaker A: What is the green gaseous thing? [00:55:48] Speaker B: Green glob. [00:55:49] Speaker A: The green glob? [00:55:49] Speaker B: Yes, it looks like the green glob, only it's orange. [00:55:51] Speaker A: Orange? Orange. [00:55:52] Speaker B: It spans the ocean, continues in the beat of an atom. Pulse into the police laboratory in Central City, where a chemist. Now he's a chemist? What is he? Police scientist? Chemist. Well, forensic scientist. We don't know. [00:56:06] Speaker A: We don't know. [00:56:07] Speaker B: Museum guard. [00:56:08] Speaker A: He probably, you know, he's probably a student of life. [00:56:12] Speaker B: Lifelong learner. [00:56:12] Speaker A: Lifelong learner. [00:56:14] Speaker B: All right, Flash. Contacting. Flash, this is an emergency. Stop. I love that. Great Scott. [00:56:23] Speaker A: I hear something. But someone who knows that my secret identity is a Flash who could. [00:56:28] Speaker C: This is Solivar. Listen, Grodd has escaped. You must get here as fast as possible. Argyrillicity. Perhaps the Earth itself is in dire danger. [00:56:38] Speaker B: On my way. Salamar. He changes costume. We don't need to discuss that. Good. [00:56:43] Speaker C: I'll be watching for you. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Now he wonders, could the escape of Grodd have anything to do with the appearance of those strange metallic objects? [00:56:52] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. [00:56:53] Speaker B: He crosses the Atlantic Ocean for the third time this week. And in an isolated part of Africa. Uh. Oh, yeah. Here it is. Last time Solivar took me to Guerrilla City, it was situated right here, but I can't find any trace of it. [00:57:08] Speaker A: Now, suddenly, in a contact by. [00:57:11] Speaker C: You're in the midst of Gorilla City at this very moment, Flash, Only you're not aware of it. We have a protective machine that cuts off our city from human senses, thus preventing anyone from knowing of its existence. Stand by. We're focusing the machine on you to bring you into our field of vibration. [00:57:34] Speaker B: In the blink of an eye, the jungle terrain is wiped out of existence and replaced by Gorilla City. It's a clever trick. And it explains why no aircraft or explorer has ever reported seeing this hidden city. [00:57:50] Speaker A: Mm. [00:57:51] Speaker B: So Grodd is potentially the most dangerous creature on Earth. So how did he escape? [00:57:58] Speaker C: He outwitted us. Flash, before you left us last time, I told you Grodd had lost his force of mind power that made him so dangerous. But I was wrong. He only pretended to lose it, and he used his mental powers to effect his escape. [00:58:13] Speaker B: But where did he go? Soluvar? [00:58:15] Speaker C: We've been trying to track him, but so far, without success. He seems to have vanished off the [00:58:20] Speaker B: face of the Earth at that moment, miles below the Earth's crust. Chirp. I was wondering which of us was gonna do this. Chirp, chirp. We are ready to follow your orders, Grodd. Chirp, chirp. [00:58:33] Speaker D: Good. [00:58:33] Speaker B: Yes. It's a race of bird people with giant heads. With giant heads? Who? For some reason, bird people live under the surface of the Earth. [00:58:45] Speaker A: Go figure. [00:58:46] Speaker B: They could have lived on the top of the Himalayas or in the Amazon jungle. Someplace with open skies. But no, they've chosen to live under the surface of the earth. Now, as you know, Rob, on Earth one, the Earth is hollow. And inside the earth is the land of Skartaris, which has all kinds of bird men and dinosaurs and everything. Magic wizards. You can read all about it in the pages of Warlord comics, which I'll show to you someday. The more you know, because the Warlord, my friend, wears a loincloth and a helmet, and that's it. You can imagine I liked that comic as a teen. I'm sure now the bird people don't realize it, but since Grodd came down there a week ago, they've all fallen under the spell of his force of mind power. [00:59:48] Speaker A: The bird people live on floating islands inside the Earth, which is hollow, except for the crust. [00:59:53] Speaker B: Yep. [00:59:54] Speaker A: They've never imagined, until he told them, that there might be life outside of their world. [00:59:59] Speaker B: Well, because they've lost their race memory. Because, as you know, Skartaris was originally populated by refugees from Atlantis. [01:00:09] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [01:00:10] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. [01:00:11] Speaker A: So the bird person says, chirp, chirp. [01:00:14] Speaker B: Whatever. Scientists theorized life existed on the other side of our sky, but he was laughed at. Now Grodd has convinced them that there is life on the Earth. In fact, they're ready to help me conquer the humans up there. [01:00:26] Speaker A: But first, he needs to eliminate the most dangerous syllabar, Gorilla City, and the Flash. The Devolutionizer ray will revert the super gorillas to primitive primates, no different from the other dumb goril on Earth. [01:00:40] Speaker B: The metal borers that the bird people shot up into the Earth at my direction were just devices to distract Solovar and his assistance from the my real threat against them. [01:00:50] Speaker A: Another few seconds, and it will be time to send Solivar and his gorillas into their monkey past and begin his war against humanity. [01:00:59] Speaker B: Hey, Rob, if humans are descended from Devolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys? Sorry, I've seen too much Twitter today. Okay, at that moment, directly above on Earth, [01:01:20] Speaker C: Flash Grodd's vibratory trail has just been discovered, leading to below the Earth. [01:01:25] Speaker B: Below the Earth? [01:01:26] Speaker C: Yes, Straight down. [01:01:28] Speaker B: Now I'm going after him. Solivar. This is the little trick I learned from my enemy. The I'm gonna spin so fast that I drive myself down into the surface of the Earth until I hop, hop into the hollow world below the Earth's crust. Which he does a momentary search reveals. [01:01:44] Speaker A: Grodd. Oh, no. [01:01:46] Speaker B: Yeah, but if he thought he was gonna stop me, he's in for a startling surprise. [01:01:52] Speaker A: Oh, Grodd's Grodd's voice. See, he's. He's educated. [01:01:57] Speaker B: Oh, the superfluous. [01:01:58] Speaker A: Oh, I can't do that. [01:01:59] Speaker B: I can't either. [01:02:00] Speaker A: No, you'll cough. [01:02:01] Speaker B: I will. So Flash puts on an extra burst of speed because it looks like Grodd hasn't had time to do any real harm yet. [01:02:09] Speaker A: But as Flash hurtles across the intervening space, a strange process takes place. [01:02:15] Speaker B: Just as Grodd theorized, Flash's super speed is causing the mola, the strange air down here inside the earth, to adhere to his body and instantly solidify around him. [01:02:30] Speaker A: Hmm. [01:02:30] Speaker B: By Pluto, he's still advancing, even though his weight has increased a hundredfold. It's got to stop him. Finally, it does. [01:02:40] Speaker A: But Flash first crashes into the Devolutionizer. [01:02:43] Speaker B: Yep, damaged. It's gonna take Grodd hours to repair, but at least Flash will no longer interfere with his plans. [01:02:50] Speaker A: Well, they're gonna place Flash on exhibit in the city square in a casing of solidified mola. Flash will remain like that for centuries, a symbol of what will happen to anyone who seeks to prevent Grodd from becoming ruler of the Earth. [01:03:04] Speaker B: Now, this mola is transparent enough so Flash can see out, but he can't stop thinking about how incredible it is that all along there's been a civilization down here unknown to people on the surface. A world of winged people who fly from one island to another here below the Earth. Now, he understands by the dazed look in the bird people's eyes that they must be under Grodd's force of mind trance. And it looks like they're ready to help Grodd achieve his ambition to conquer the world. [01:03:38] Speaker A: Now he's just got to figure out a way to get out of this. What is it? Mula mola. Mola Mola encasement. [01:03:46] Speaker B: Now, it's encased too tight for him to use his vibratory powers, but. But he can vibrate back and forth enough to work up a rocking motion to topple himself off the display pedestal in the city square. And he does. It works. He hits the ground, and the molar shatters. [01:04:06] Speaker A: Yay. [01:04:07] Speaker B: Flash is free and unhurt. Now, correct me if I'm wrong. Was. Okay, well, when the mola originally solidified, Grodd was firing a ray weapon at him. But that's not. He doesn't say that in his thought balloon. He just says flash's super speed is causing the mola to adhere to his body. [01:04:37] Speaker A: Right. [01:04:37] Speaker B: He doesn't say my ray plus the super speed. [01:04:41] Speaker A: Yeah, because Flash keeps his super Speed in check as he's rushing toward Grodd. This time, he says he's got to control his speed. Keep it just under the critical point where it will solidify this atmosphere around him. [01:04:56] Speaker B: Okay. He sets Grodd spinning, but Grodd is able to burst out of the whirlwind that Flash has created around him. Then Flash starts punching. At super speed, even at moderate speed, he can hit Grodd a hundred times before he can blink. [01:05:17] Speaker A: And Grodd gets knocked out. KO'd. [01:05:19] Speaker B: And maybe that knocked the force of mind power from him. I hope it did. At least he had no chance to use it against me. [01:05:27] Speaker A: Yeah, so it actually did. It did work. And the bird people say chirp, chirp. [01:05:31] Speaker B: Yes. Grodd had us in some kind of spell. But when you knocked him out, his holderness was broken. Gah. We're free. Now, as the fastest human and his captive zoom back toward the surface, the [01:05:45] Speaker A: bird people are peaceful. Someday, when they are ready, they will pay. Someday, when they are ready, they will pay a visit to the surface. Until then, perhaps it would be best for me not to say anything about their subterranean existence. [01:05:55] Speaker B: Probably. That's probably best. [01:05:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:05:59] Speaker B: Thanks for capturing crawd this time, Flash. Next time, we'll be more careful about watching here. [01:06:08] Speaker A: Goodbye, Solovar. Time for me to return home. [01:06:12] Speaker B: As Barry reads the papers later, I see that the strange metal objects vanished as mysteriously as they appeared. I hope that's the last I ever hear of the evil minded Grodd. [01:06:26] Speaker A: What do the drills have with? How are they related to Grodd's ray de evolutionary? [01:06:35] Speaker B: Nothing. It was just a distraction to keep Solivar and Flash busy. [01:06:38] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. It was a distraction, wasn't it? Oh, my God. [01:06:42] Speaker B: I know what an Intricate is. Not the last he's gonna see of Gorilla Grott, I guess. [01:06:46] Speaker A: Oh, no. Yeah. [01:06:47] Speaker B: Now, hawkman of Earth 2 did discover a race of bird people, I believe, in the Himalayas. Yeah, and he left a scientist there. The scientist had sex with one of the bird girls, and they had a child. [01:07:06] Speaker A: Was it a bird child? [01:07:07] Speaker B: It was a half bird, half human. [01:07:08] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [01:07:09] Speaker B: Superhero. North Wind. [01:07:11] Speaker A: North Wind. [01:07:13] Speaker B: But of course, that was Earth 2, so has nothing to do with Earth 1. [01:07:16] Speaker A: No, it's not the same. Famously not the same. [01:07:19] Speaker B: Not the same. Not pre crisis, as you well know. You can find us on social media, Okocheckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcast from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. [01:07:33] Speaker A: Nerd Orchestra. [01:07:34] Speaker B: A new episode just dropped today and you can find us right back here. Speaking of news hens, next week with Lois Lane. [01:07:44] Speaker A: Oh, good. [01:07:45] Speaker B: Superman's girlfriend. Friend. [01:07:46] Speaker D: Yes, by you don't have to be a politician. You can change it all with a s disposition. So be heavy and spread it all around. If you find yourself a frowning Just turn it upside down when you wear a smile the world weird shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You gotta give in one time. You gotta turn on the sunshine. Push those blues away, Man, this dialectic's too much.