Where's That Coffee, Zinda? (Blackhawk 231)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? Yeah. [00:00:02] Speaker B: Okay, let's go. [00:00:04] Speaker A: You know what to do. [00:00:05] Speaker B: The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. [00:00:11] Speaker A: Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob and each week I'll be your Guide on this TR Trippy Tour through 535 Mid Century Masterpieces of Graphic Noveldom. This week, Blackhawk 231. Cover date April 1967 cover price $0.12. Cover artists Dick Dillon and Charles Cuidera Edited by George Cashdan Featuring Target Big Eye Written by Bob Haney Art by Dick Dillon and Charles Cuidara. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. If you're walking in the shadows then it's time that you get wild? Just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes? When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You're gonna push the bl. The Blackhawks learn that after the defeat of the emperor, the members of the International Crime Combine are meeting to choose a new leader. The leader is known as the Supreme Overlord and his first target is Black Hawk himself. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything. Oh, what a day. I finally have a chance to sit down. [00:02:25] Speaker A: My goodness, you've been so busy. [00:02:27] Speaker B: I have. I had to go get a haircut at lunchtime and well, that was it. And literally the rest of the time I was sitting down, but I was working. [00:02:35] Speaker A: Yes, you were working. Yes. [00:02:37] Speaker B: It's different sitting when you're working than sitting when you're having fun, like we are now. [00:02:42] Speaker A: Yes. And I, on the other hand, have been on my spring break. [00:02:47] Speaker B: Yes, you're making lots of noise and I have no idea what power tools were involved. [00:02:51] Speaker A: Yes, I had some power tools out this morning. I. You know, Butler likes to perch himself on the windowsill in my office. [00:02:59] Speaker B: Sure. Who doesn't? [00:03:00] Speaker A: And so I. And because he's a hound dog. And he's a big hound dog. Hound dogs have really thick nails. Well, I mean, I guess all dogs do, but his are particularly thick and he's made some gouges in the wood. So I finally. I had promised myself I would do this because you remember, I treated all the windows. I recauked all the windows in the. [00:03:20] Speaker B: I don't recall specifically But I'll take your word for it. Go on. [00:03:22] Speaker A: So I promised myself that I would do those windows last. So I sanded them down and painted them. Oh, he's gonna bark at the person walking by. I don't know who that is. I don't recognize that person. Do you? [00:03:33] Speaker B: I can't see anything. [00:03:34] Speaker A: She's coming in the red sweater. [00:03:37] Speaker B: Well, you know, we have new neighbors. Someone bought the bully neighborhood bullies house. [00:03:41] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep. Anyway, so I did that and repainted that and I'm just. I'm gonna re caulk those windows here. [00:03:48] Speaker B: Well, I don't know her. And she's got. Also got bouncy hair like she does. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Yes. [00:03:53] Speaker B: No wonder he's barking. He probably thinks it's a bouncy hair lady. [00:03:56] Speaker A: Yeah. And let's see what else to do. Today I cleaned this room. I cleaned our. Our, our music room. Our podcasting and music room. [00:04:02] Speaker B: Now wait a minute. Is that bouncy hair lady? Cuz she walks exactly the same in that odd gate. [00:04:08] Speaker A: Well, I have. She does have the same hair. Maybe that is. Maybe it is her. [00:04:12] Speaker B: Well, she's gotten a haircut if it is her. [00:04:14] Speaker A: Yeah, because normally her hair is a little bit longer. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:16] Speaker A: Yep, yep, yep. Okay, so talking about my day, then I took a little nap, just a 45 minute nap. And then did some more house cleaning. And so I've just been cleaning and you know, I'm looking around the room trying to think if there's anything I dusted. You know, we have a humidifier in here, so I have to frequently wipe the surfaces down of the. When you have a humidifier in a room for the, for the instruments. What is that called? What's it, the minerals that are left on the surfaces? Yeah, yeah, A slight, slight dust of minerals on the surfaces. So I wiped that down today. [00:04:49] Speaker B: Well, that shouldn't be an issue because the Culligan man came today to soften our water. [00:04:54] Speaker A: Well, I had a lot to do today, so I did that. I got my hair cut. And then I also met with the Culligan man to change the filter on our system. The main filter and. Yeah, but I've had a really good spring break. Do you want to talk about some sports talk? [00:05:09] Speaker B: Sure. If you want to skip ahead, listener, we're going to talk about sports. [00:05:12] Speaker A: So we went on Saturday morning to Columbus, Ohio. Yes, we drove or we got out early and we got there a little after midday. Just a couple hour break. Did we take a nap before the match? No, because we all slept in the car. We tried sleeping. Yes. Okay. So we went to the match that evening. What did you think? [00:05:31] Speaker B: Loved it. [00:05:32] Speaker A: Columbus vs Kansas City football Club. [00:05:33] Speaker B: Nope. Nashville. [00:05:34] Speaker A: I'm sorry? The Crew. Columbus Crew versus Nashville Football Club. [00:05:40] Speaker B: Well, I didn't like that. Our team lost by. Well, yeah. [00:05:45] Speaker A: The final score was 1 0. [00:05:47] Speaker B: They say 1 nil in soccer. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Okay, so. [00:05:51] Speaker B: And Nashville mfers they scored their one point in the extra minutes of the second act half. [00:06:00] Speaker A: They did. Did you. Did you like the stadium? Was I right? [00:06:04] Speaker B: Lovely stadium. [00:06:05] Speaker A: Yes. Big and nice seats. Very convenient. Lots of restrooms. Clean restrooms. [00:06:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:10] Speaker A: Lots of places to get beer and food. [00:06:11] Speaker B: Yes. [00:06:12] Speaker A: Yes. [00:06:12] Speaker B: German sausages. [00:06:13] Speaker A: Yes. [00:06:14] Speaker B: Nice. Columbus has changed quite a bit since I was growing up. [00:06:18] Speaker A: Hasn't it though? It really, really has. They're about to put in some. Or they've started putting in some what they'll call a public transit system. Like dedicated bus lanes all over the city. [00:06:31] Speaker B: Okay. [00:06:33] Speaker A: Yeah. Because they're having a growth problem. [00:06:35] Speaker B: Yes. The fastest growing city in the Midwest. [00:06:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Let's see. So we did that. We went to Columbus on Saturday. Then we had family time on Saturday evening. And then Sunday midday, what did we do? We went to the row house. [00:06:53] Speaker B: Yes. [00:06:54] Speaker A: Didn't. We had a row class. [00:06:56] Speaker B: That's an exercise establishment. And other listener that hates talking about exercise. [00:07:01] Speaker A: I think you liked it. [00:07:03] Speaker B: Well, yeah. [00:07:04] Speaker A: That class. [00:07:04] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah. [00:07:05] Speaker A: It's easy. It was fun. [00:07:06] Speaker B: I'd go if we had one close to us. [00:07:08] Speaker A: Oh, hell yes. Right. I would too. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Maybe we should open a franchise. [00:07:12] Speaker A: I felt the burn for two days after that class. So that was good. That was fun. It really does work. Your core. [00:07:19] Speaker B: It's great. [00:07:21] Speaker A: Sunday night we had family dinner and we came home on Monday. [00:07:25] Speaker B: Yes. [00:07:25] Speaker A: Through some terrible weather. [00:07:27] Speaker B: Well, not as it was supposed to be. The Armageddon. But that didn't happen. [00:07:31] Speaker A: Well, okay. [00:07:33] Speaker B: I was actually looking forward to that. [00:07:35] Speaker A: Okay. To Armageddon. [00:07:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:38] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:38] Speaker B: I mean, it would be something. Something to talk about. [00:07:41] Speaker A: We came. Well, we did ride through snow and sleet and rain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so let's see, what did I do yesterday? I went Tuesday. I stayed home, read. I finished reading the. I was gonna say the Martian. That's Andy Weir's book. Hail Mary project. Hail Mary. [00:07:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:58] Speaker A: In preparation for us seeing the movie, which I read before, but I wanted to read it again. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Sure. [00:08:02] Speaker A: So I enjoyed that. And picked up. Put that down. Yesterday I took Butler to Shenandoah national park, which is just an hour away from us. [00:08:13] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:14] Speaker A: And rode about 35 miles on the Blue Ridge Skyline. Skyline Drive. That's all that was open when I was there because it was wicked cold up there. It was in the upper 20s, lower 30s. Still ice everywhere. Still snow up there on the mountains. But that was fun. And we went for a little hike and came home and. Oh, I made beef stew last night. [00:08:38] Speaker B: Yes, you did. [00:08:39] Speaker A: That was good, wasn't it? [00:08:40] Speaker B: It sure was. And that's a good thing because that's all we have in the fridge to eat tonight. [00:08:44] Speaker A: That's right. That's right. So that's. That's caught up. We're going to get together with friends tomorrow night. Although there's a Lily. Lily's in the yard. [00:08:53] Speaker B: Okay. [00:08:54] Speaker A: We're gonna get together with friends tomorrow night and see Project Hail Mary. Yes. And then celebrate my birthday this weekend. [00:09:04] Speaker B: Yes. Happy birthday. [00:09:05] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:06] Speaker B: Spring Equinox, baby. [00:09:08] Speaker A: Yes. Double digits of the same. Cinco. Cinco. Yes. [00:09:15] Speaker B: I mean, I would hope with your deep voice, you are in double digits. [00:09:19] Speaker A: No, I meant. [00:09:21] Speaker B: I know what you meant. [00:09:22] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. [00:09:24] Speaker B: Well. [00:09:24] Speaker A: Oh, it is her. No, it is. I see. It totally is. [00:09:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:28] Speaker A: Bouncy hair, nice neighbor. Really nice. [00:09:31] Speaker B: Both of them, if you're new here. [00:09:34] Speaker A: Butler goes insane. [00:09:35] Speaker B: There's a couple that walks in our street. They don't live in our neighborhood. They just use our streets. [00:09:39] Speaker A: But their property backs up to. [00:09:41] Speaker B: Our property backs up to ours. And they. And our dog hates that woman for some reason. I think it's her hair. It bounces. [00:09:47] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know. They're very nice. And let's see, what else can we say? I have anything planned for the weekend? It's going to warm up a little bit. I'm going to take my motorcycle out, I think, at some point this weekend. [00:10:00] Speaker B: Okay. Yep. You enjoy that. [00:10:02] Speaker A: My new helmet. [00:10:03] Speaker B: And speaking of new. [00:10:06] Speaker A: Oh, Jesus. I can't avoid it anymore. [00:10:09] Speaker B: No. Nice try, though. It's the new Blackhawk era. [00:10:17] Speaker A: I do not like this new era. I was perfectly happy with the old era. This is off the hook. This is ridiculous. [00:10:25] Speaker B: Blackhawk number 231. As you may recall, we've just had a three issue arc where the Blackhawks were accused of being washed up junk heap heroes. And the mysterious organization. George. Group for Extermination of Organizations of Revenge, Greed and Evil. [00:10:46] Speaker A: Wait. Group for Extermination of Organizations. [00:10:49] Speaker B: Organizations of Revenge, Greed and Evil. [00:10:52] Speaker A: So they are actually good guys? George. [00:10:54] Speaker B: George is. Yeah. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Okay. [00:10:55] Speaker B: They're a secretive arm of the US Government. The Justice League wanted to. Or. No, I can't remember now. I think George wanted Or the CIA, somebody. They wanted to shut the Blackhawks down. The Justice League got together and said, give them one more chance. And then this mysterious George organization hired them to be, like, super spies and fight various other criminal organizations. And they actually defeated the leader of that criminal organization. And now they are the emperor. Now they are off on their worldwide mission to fight all organizations of greed, revenge and evil. [00:11:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:39] Speaker B: And it's fantastic. They've all got costumes now. You. [00:11:44] Speaker A: That. You're not being sarcastic. You're being literally positive about this. No, because it's awful. [00:11:50] Speaker B: It's not great. [00:11:51] Speaker A: It is a garbage. It is a dumpster fire. [00:11:54] Speaker B: I mean, it's the Cold War. Right? And this. I mean, the only thing was hot, hot, hot. And so if they just had made them spies, that would have been great. [00:12:03] Speaker A: Yeah, just spies. Even. Like, not even costumed spies. [00:12:06] Speaker B: Right? Exactly. They could have worn their regular Blackhawk jumpers. [00:12:10] Speaker A: Yes. This is ridiculous. The only thing it's missing is Josie and the Pussycats. [00:12:16] Speaker B: Oh, that would be sweet, though. [00:12:19] Speaker A: With a band. [00:12:20] Speaker B: Yes. [00:12:20] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, this is how, like, make [00:12:23] Speaker B: them a band listener. [00:12:25] Speaker A: Do you know, if you look at the COVID art. Just look, because it says it all. [00:12:31] Speaker B: What? We're getting clobbered. It's floating Head of Blackhawk. We're getting clobbered one by one. The new Blackhawks are being wiped out. We've got Chop Chop in his new identity as Dr. Hands, being his metal hands are being [00:12:49] Speaker A: lifted up by Magnet Electromagnet. [00:12:52] Speaker B: We've got Andre as Monsieur Machine. And Olaf as the Leaper. The Leaper being blasted by some explosion. And Stan as the Golden Centurion. [00:13:07] Speaker A: The Golden Centurion. I cannot believe what he does with that suit. Shoots gold. [00:13:13] Speaker B: Don't give it away. [00:13:14] Speaker A: It's so stupid. He jetpacks around and shoots gold. [00:13:19] Speaker B: Yes, yes, yes. Gold. Wha. You don't have any complaint when the metalman for shooting gold all over the place? Literally. Because that's his name. Gold. I'm going to talk about this later, but I have to wonder. They keep describing Stan as the strongman of the group, and he was a former circus. Circus acrobat. No, Olaf was the acrobat. Stan was a circus strongman. [00:13:48] Speaker A: Okay. [00:13:49] Speaker B: But he's just the same. He's a little fella. [00:13:51] Speaker A: Huh? [00:13:52] Speaker B: Olaf's the giant and he's supposed to be an acrobat. I think that at some point someone must have mixed them up in a panel and that just stuck. [00:14:00] Speaker A: Okay. [00:14:01] Speaker B: Because that doesn't make. It never made any kind of sense to me. [00:14:04] Speaker A: Okay, Blackhawk target Big Eye. There's no lead into it. [00:14:11] Speaker B: No. Welcome to the new Blackhawk era. [00:14:15] Speaker A: If you haven't joined already, it's never too late, as the Blackhawks themselves proved when they tore off the label junk heap heroes and became the comeback kids of the century. So get with the Magnificent Seven as we rejoin them, displaying their fabulous new [00:14:30] Speaker B: identities and powers inside Blackhawk's new space hq, the Hawk kite. Now anchored at a desolate canyon, their headquarters is in Kite. Giant kite. A kite in the shape of a two headed hawk. [00:14:48] Speaker A: I'm just. I'm just going to assume it's a jet, not a kite. I mean, it's. It's not a kite. It's not a wind powered kite tethered to the ground by a string. [00:14:57] Speaker B: I think it is. I think it is, Rob, because why wouldn't they call it Hawk Jet if it was a jet? They call it Hawk Kite. That is hyphenated and it is anchor. And why would it have to be anchored if it wasn't a kite and they have to anchor so it doesn't get blown off by the wind. [00:15:16] Speaker A: Just be a glider. [00:15:19] Speaker B: Here they all are demonstrating their new. I don't want to call it powers because they're all aided by technology, but [00:15:30] Speaker A: they called it powers. [00:15:31] Speaker B: Bessie, a machine is riding a motorcycle up a sheer vertical wall. The leaper is leaping as a leaper [00:15:40] Speaker A: does, as he's doing the thing that he does. [00:15:43] Speaker B: It's a nice touch though. I do appreciate the art here. He's grabbed onto the corner of the text box on the splash page. Dr. Hands is using his hands, using his hands to chop a steel beam in half. The Golden Centurion is shooting gold out of his fingertips. We didn't mention Henderson as weapons master. He's shooting a rifle which would be impossible to exist because it makes a 90 degree turn in the barrel. And Blackhawk, Big Eye just standing there, standing around. That's his new role. [00:16:24] Speaker A: But where's the listener? Where's the listener? [00:16:28] Speaker B: Well, we'll find that out in a minute. Chuck is the listener. Yes. Where is the electronics genius of the new Blackhawks in his pajamas with giant human ears on? [00:16:41] Speaker A: Oh, I forgot about that. That's right. He's literally wearing pajamas with ears unpattered. [00:16:49] Speaker B: Someone's got to sell this for cosplay purposes, don't you think? All right. Chuck's handy dandy portable radar is picking up something approaching down the canyon which we just learned. They are anchored in a canyon. All right. Black Hawk orders them to Stand ready for trouble. Chuck determines that it's one person. The range is 50 yards and closing. Height 5 foot 5 or thereabouts. Density about 120 pounds. And he's got funny measurements. More like curves. Uh oh, you said it, Chuck. Because it's none other than Zindo. [00:17:36] Speaker A: Lady Blackhawk. [00:17:36] Speaker B: Lady Blackhawk. [00:17:37] Speaker A: Who is she? [00:17:39] Speaker B: Well, if you recall, she was Queen Killer. Well, she was the Lady Blackhawk. [00:17:44] Speaker A: Okay. [00:17:44] Speaker B: And then she turned evil and she was Queen Killer Shark. And then in the first issue of the Junk Heap Heroes, she got beaned on the head by a rock and regained her memory and became good Lady Blackhawk again. [00:18:00] Speaker A: Sometimes I just. Sometimes my brain just flushes as soon as we're done with this episode. [00:18:06] Speaker B: You learned to the test. [00:18:07] Speaker A: I. What? [00:18:08] Speaker B: You learned to the test. [00:18:09] Speaker A: I do, I do. If you listen really closely, you can hear at the end, there's a toilet flushing in my head. With just like all the contents of the. That we just discussed in the thing just in the. In the podcast just goes out in my head. [00:18:23] Speaker B: Lady Blackhawk. Later on would the character would become time displaced and become a regular character in the Birds of Prey, written by Gail Simone, where she was a fantastic, much beloved character. That is not this character we're reading about today. She will stand around and serve coffee to the boys. [00:18:44] Speaker A: Yeah. She does nothing. [00:18:45] Speaker B: No, no, but she looked. She cuts a fine figure in that miniskirt blackhawk uniform. [00:18:50] Speaker A: And that stupid thing that Hendrickson's wearing on his head. It's like a Civil War cap with got. With steampunk goggles. [00:18:59] Speaker B: That's a very good description. [00:19:02] Speaker A: And he wears it all the time. Like we don't get to see his normal body. [00:19:07] Speaker B: No. Wasn't there a thing? [00:19:09] Speaker A: Probably. [00:19:10] Speaker B: Wasn't he blind? Didn't. Wasn't he blind in one eye or for something? That was his weakness. When they were all being declared junk heaps, they all had a weakness. And that was his. [00:19:21] Speaker A: I thought he had the. The DTs like your dad before 5 o', clock, 4 o'. [00:19:30] Speaker B: Clock. [00:19:30] Speaker A: Who am I kidding? [00:19:31] Speaker B: He never had the dts, Your dad? [00:19:34] Speaker A: No, no, no, he didn't. [00:19:36] Speaker B: He drank a lot, but he liked the taste. Well, gee, Lady Blackhawk, we all forgot. You were supposed to rendezvous here too. [00:19:48] Speaker A: How'd they forget? [00:19:49] Speaker B: Well, I think they don't like gals. I think they're perfectly fine. Seven men living all together, sharing the same bedroom. At least they're not lying around in their underwear as in previous issues we witnessed. All right. Hendrickson asks, and also, wasn't part of the junk heap deal was that they were ordered to stop. [00:20:16] Speaker A: Stop using their accents. [00:20:17] Speaker B: Stop using their native accents. [00:20:19] Speaker A: Yes. [00:20:19] Speaker B: And here's Hendrickson. [00:20:20] Speaker A: Oh, there's lots of bonds and bonds [00:20:22] Speaker B: and how do you like degrade new identities we all got. She likes a peachy keen. But while you boys have been admiring yourselves, the big bad world outside hasn't exactly been sleeping. What do you make of these? Blackhawk. She shoves some newspapers at his face. Hmm. I see here there's a report of a famed scientist being kidnapped, an expert in space ballistics, and a report of some secret rocket parts being stolen from a British firing range. I'm not sure what it means, except I bet both jobs were pulled by the world crime combine. Hold it. A radio message from George coming in. George the Big eye. [00:21:07] Speaker A: Utmost secret and important. Utmost secret and important. As the message continues from George, the American Intelligence Organization from whom the Blackhawks do odd jobs. [00:21:17] Speaker B: Quote unquote odd jobs. [00:21:19] Speaker A: Our contacts report leaders of all world and terror groups concern converging somewhere in the southern Europe. Looks like an emergency meeting of whole world setup. We'll keep you informed of further developments. George out. [00:21:32] Speaker B: Utmost secret and important. But I'm just going to broadcast it on this open radio frequency. By gar, Chief, that's Stan. He's Polish. And I guess that's a Polish expression. What's the reason for that meeting? You're the reason, Big Stan. See, they even call him Big Stan. And he's not big. He's shorter than Black Hawk. You knocked off the emperor. As you recall, Stan killed the emperor and stole his golden armor. And I'll bet that meeting's been called to choose a new leader for the world crime empire. [00:22:06] Speaker A: Well, let's go quickly flash over to that meeting. [00:22:10] Speaker B: Yes. So the new guy or no, he was the second hand. Second in command, Right? [00:22:20] Speaker A: Right. Like Viserys from Game of Thrones. Yes, the spider. [00:22:26] Speaker B: Like a cross between Viserys and Victor Buono. Victor Buono played King Tut on the Batman TV show. [00:22:33] Speaker A: Okay. [00:22:34] Speaker B: And he was the piano player in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? [00:22:37] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:22:38] Speaker B: And the villain on the pilot episode of man from Atlantis. [00:22:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:22:44] Speaker B: All right. What kind of a voice does he have? The emperor's throne is empty. We are leaderless and a serpent without a head cannot strike our great world. Empire of evil threatens to fall apart. Now, you all know I, Red Robe, as the emperor's most trusted lieutenant, would be his choice to succeed him if he were alive. Therefore, I am taking over, assuming the throne. Now, are There any who oppose me? [00:23:13] Speaker A: You bet there are. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Si. [00:23:15] Speaker A: Oui. [00:23:15] Speaker B: Stop. [00:23:16] Speaker A: Eme. [00:23:17] Speaker B: Well, just then, the costumed centurions who surround the amphitheater where all the criminals [00:23:27] Speaker A: are seated, pull their guns out. [00:23:29] Speaker B: Pull their guns out, please, all of you. Gladiator zeroed in from everywhere. [00:23:36] Speaker A: Yes. You fools. Did you think you could trifle with me? I shall assume the throne and you shall all obey me as you obeyed the Emperor. [00:23:48] Speaker B: But just then, the dais on which the red robe is standing explodes. [00:23:53] Speaker A: That's it. He's gone. [00:23:54] Speaker B: And he's dead. [00:23:55] Speaker A: He's dead. No, really, Listener. [00:23:58] Speaker B: No, he is actually dead. He's blown to smithereens. Just then, a statue of a bird. [00:24:09] Speaker A: Griffin. [00:24:10] Speaker B: Oh, a griffin maybe. Yeah, it's got the head of a bird in the body of a cat. That's a griffin, right? [00:24:18] Speaker A: No, a griffin is a lion. Flying lion. [00:24:21] Speaker B: Well, cats are famously related to lions. [00:24:25] Speaker A: But it has a beak. [00:24:27] Speaker B: That's what I said. Head of a bird. [00:24:30] Speaker A: Let's just call it a griffin and move on. [00:24:32] Speaker B: Okay, A voice comes out of that. Uh, hear me, all of you. Yes. Red robe is gone. He was an inept fool, or else he would never have fallen for the trap I set. That voice. [00:24:47] Speaker A: Who is it? [00:24:47] Speaker B: Who am I? [00:24:48] Speaker A: Where is he? [00:24:49] Speaker B: Your new overlord. Where am I? Everywhere. [00:24:55] Speaker A: A wire. A centurion says, I will cut short yout Rule youe Majesty. And he cuts the wire. [00:25:00] Speaker B: Cuts the wire. But then the voice comes out of a nearby column. As I said, I am everywhere. I shall not show myself to you until you have earned the privilege. Right now, as my first order, you will all cooperate in Operation Big Eye. [00:25:18] Speaker A: He's fantastic, whoever he is. Says some one of the hooded men. I love that he's the. I knew that I was going to use that voice as soon as I read that. Yeah, he's fantastic, whoever he is. We've got no choice. We need a leader. Let's go along. [00:25:32] Speaker B: I knew you would. Operation Big Eye is the elimination of these so called new Blackhawks. Starting with the death of their leader, Black Hawk himself. The Big Eye. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Now we know about what Operation Big Eye is all about. But do the Blackhawks know? [00:25:51] Speaker B: Well, they've got a computer here and it's making a printout. The computer. Besides reminding Blackhawk to take his shot shirts to the laundry. Or should we say shirt, because he only has one. This computer comes up with some pretty interesting stuff. It correlates all the info the Blackhawk has fed into it. And Ach. Duliber. Hendy says you look Like a guy who just woke up on a bullseye. Right you are, weapons master. Only I'm not on the bullseye. I am the bullseye. The kidnapped scientist, the stolen rocket part, the meeting to choose the Emperor's successor, all add up to 1. The World Crime combine's out to get me. Out to yank the lid on the Big Eye for good. Ma foi yimini. [00:26:43] Speaker A: Wow. [00:26:45] Speaker B: The computer says. The computer says they're putting together a special rocket to blast the Hawk kite. The computer says no, they need that stolen part and that kidnapped scientists know how to do it. If they get the rocket operating, the Big Eye will be just a big bullseye in the sky. You could go to another place. You could anchor in Antarctica or on top of Superman's Fortress of Solitude. [00:27:12] Speaker A: Columbus. [00:27:13] Speaker B: Yes, I know Columbus. In the 60s, though, there weren't many places to hide. No pie. Yemeni Chief, why can't you just stay here on the ground? Anchored in this canyon where any dame can walk right up. [00:27:29] Speaker A: The emperor knew about this rendezvous. His cohorts might find out. Any other hiding place? Besides on the ground, the Hawk kite is just a sitting duck. Yes, I'm sure the Hawk kite is much more agile in the air, tethered to the ground. [00:27:43] Speaker B: Have you seen a kite fly? They're pretty. They dart around. [00:27:47] Speaker A: Remember that kite I got during the pandemic that got. [00:27:51] Speaker B: What happened to that kite? [00:27:52] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:27:54] Speaker B: What's more, I can't do my job as part of the new Blackhawks by hiding. We've got to stop those jokers from ever getting that rocket together. Here's the first big test of your new identities. Characters, stand by for an anti missile mission mission. [00:28:12] Speaker A: So shortly after the biggest Black Hawk of them all has handed out their assignments, the new Black Hawk era goes into high gear. Look, the kite actually has jets on it. It's not tethered to the ground. [00:28:25] Speaker B: It's not tethered because they untied it so that it could blast off into the air. [00:28:34] Speaker A: And what's in a ufo? Somebody's in a flying saucer. [00:28:38] Speaker B: Yeah, let's by process elimination. That must be the listener, [00:28:44] Speaker A: Matt. [00:28:44] Speaker B: Of course. Stan has a rocket powered jetpack on his suit. The leaper could leap wherever he wants to go. Monsieur Machine has a motorcycle. Chop chop. And Hendy. I guess just have to hoof it on foot. Also, I was not aware of this, but apparently it was a thing. Chop chop. Now is using hip hep cat language. [00:29:06] Speaker A: Yeah, he didn't before these new. He's the only one who abandoned his original accent. [00:29:11] Speaker B: He's the only one that followed our orders. Y these new Blackhawks are real cool cats. Like, man, I am proud to be of their celestial company. Also, he's high. [00:29:21] Speaker A: I read that. Okay, yeah, and I read that. And the bubble, the speech bubble is at the top of the page. And I followed it down and I said, well, that can't be. Chop chop, because he doesn't talk like that. [00:29:32] Speaker B: Well, he does now, brother. It's the new Blackhawk era. But he starts off like Truly, it is written ancient Chinese secret that these new Blackhawks are real cool cats. And then here's Stan, back to his old habit. Bi Gar Yimini, the leaper PI Yimini. Well, they better shape up. [00:29:59] Speaker A: Memorize those swinging new identities yet? No, you'd better, because they're going to pop up. The fast and furious action on part two, which continues on the second page following. [00:30:07] Speaker B: I've memorized and I couldn't care less. Hold the phone. [00:30:12] Speaker A: Did you read these? [00:30:13] Speaker B: Dear editor, there is always room for improvement in any comic, and Blackhawk is no exception. For one thing, the artwork has become very grubby. Perhaps purposely, every Blackhawk looks like the popular dirty faced war heroes. To look gutsy, a hero need not look grimy. [00:30:33] Speaker A: Irene Vartanoff, Lake Forest, Illinois. [00:30:38] Speaker B: Irene's gone to college and she's developed some even stronger ideas about male cleanliness. [00:30:44] Speaker A: If you can't believe it, I wonder what sort of friends Irene Vartanoff had in college. [00:30:49] Speaker B: Well, I don't know. She managed to land a husband. [00:30:51] Speaker A: So do you suppose she belonged to a sorority? For sure. [00:30:55] Speaker B: She probably ran it. Well, Irene, first of all, they are war heroes and they all sleep in the same bedroom. With no woman around to cook and clean. [00:31:08] Speaker A: They're probably filtered. [00:31:09] Speaker B: No wonder. Yes, of course. Maybe things will be more to her satisfaction now that Lady Blackhawk's on board the Hawk kite. [00:31:16] Speaker A: Yes, although the editor did reply back to her. Anyone else think the Magnificent Seven have dirty faces? We happen to know that the Blackhawks wash and shave every morning, Irene. But surely you don't expect them to come out of their scrapes without a mark on them. Take a closer look. Maybe what you call dirt is really shading. Ooh. [00:31:35] Speaker B: Burn. Yeah, all right. Target. Big Eye Part two. Off the coast of Southern Europe, an innocent looking fishing boat bobs on the waves. But it is closely observed by hoods of the World Crime Combine manning a watch station on the desolate rocks. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Supreme Overlord gave orders no craft was allowed near the area where the underwater Cable is load and ready for firing. [00:32:01] Speaker B: Yeah. So this is a sailboat on the surface. But we learn that it's Chuck underwater in his flying saucer. [00:32:09] Speaker A: He's tapped into the main wire, the main cable to listen to the transmissions. [00:32:15] Speaker B: So the decoy sailboat is blown up. Now that these guys, they're probably running drugs for sure. [00:32:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:23] Speaker B: But now that they think they've done their job, they won't be watching so close. So Chuck can relax while he eavesdrops on the boss's party line. [00:32:31] Speaker A: As he listens, he's in his listener pajamas, his ear pajamas. Supreme overlord to all units. Phase one of Operation Big Eye successful. Begin phase two. What was the first phase? To gather. [00:32:46] Speaker B: Well, to choose a new leader. Yeah, I guess to blow up red Robe. I don't know. All right. [00:32:58] Speaker A: This is a fever dream. [00:33:01] Speaker B: As the ears of the new Blackhawk steal the rest of the cable's electronic cargo, he radios to Monsieur Machine and the leaper. Monsieur Machine is in his headquarters. This enraged me. [00:33:20] Speaker A: How is this even convenient? [00:33:22] Speaker B: First of all, I got so excited when I saw this mill wheel because I thought, the Blackhawks have a famous Nazi. It's not an enemy because it's a piece of machinery, but the war wheel, which rolled across Europe and had to fight the Blackhawks several times. And I thought, oh, is this the war wheel? Nope. No, it's just an old run of the mill water wheel. On a mill [00:33:51] Speaker A: lowers a. [00:33:52] Speaker B: Which lowers a. [00:33:54] Speaker A: One person, one passenger. One. One person locomotive. [00:33:59] Speaker B: Steam powered locomotive. [00:34:00] Speaker A: Steam locomotive. [00:34:02] Speaker B: It's Andre. Monsieur Machine. Which lowers the locomotive onto the spillway where it chugs along on a track and. Well, it's not on a track. It's in the water. And then it goes to the track. He drives the train across the country to the main line and somehow hops it up on the train tracks and then takes off across the country. [00:34:32] Speaker A: How many adventures call for them to use a train? Well, besides this one, I. I don't know. [00:34:42] Speaker B: I haven't read all of their adventures yet. We're at the very beginning of the new Blackhawk era. We have so much to look forward to. [00:34:48] Speaker A: I can't wait to see this train again. [00:34:51] Speaker B: But, you know, again, it's the super spy Cold war era. This is maybe like the Thunderbirds, where they all had different vehicles popped out of weird places. [00:35:03] Speaker A: So what's your choice of vehicle to do your spy work? [00:35:08] Speaker B: Thunderbird 6. While far ahead, the leaper waits on a rock above a gorge, preparing to leap. Preparing to leap, because that's What? [00:35:23] Speaker A: He does the one trick pony. [00:35:25] Speaker B: There's a real train coming down the tracks. PI Yimini. Which the leaper leaps on top of. Until he arrives at the car carrying Les Champignons d'. [00:35:40] Speaker A: Avignon. [00:35:41] Speaker B: The mushrooms of Avignon. That was a fantastic film. If I wait forever, I will wait for you. Oh no, that's not. It's Umbrella Cherbourg. Sorry, but Mushrooms of Avignon would be a good movie title, wouldn't it? Sure. So he uncouples the mushroom car, discovers unfortunately that the switch to change the direction of the train is not opened. So with one incredible leap, he lands on the street. I'm working on the railroad got. Here comes Andre and his little caboose. And soon the tiny locomotive hauls the mushroom car into an abandoned tree shaded track spur. Now these gents think correctly that the kidnapped scientist is inside this car. [00:36:48] Speaker A: Yes, because remember, Matt has been. Is his name Matt? [00:36:52] Speaker B: Chuck? [00:36:52] Speaker A: Chuck has been listening. Has been listening and knows where the scientist is being kept. [00:36:57] Speaker B: Unfortunately, the car is booby trapped. Fortunately, the leaper's on call to whisk Monsieur Machine out of the way. [00:37:08] Speaker A: Yes. [00:37:09] Speaker B: All right. The missing sinus comes out. He's got some kind of weird helmet on his head. [00:37:14] Speaker A: It's a colander. [00:37:15] Speaker B: It's a colander. It's like Mentos helmet. Doom Patrol. He's hi Yimini. [00:37:26] Speaker A: He's an idiot. [00:37:27] Speaker B: He bond flipped his lid. And what's all this Yunk? [00:37:31] Speaker A: Well, frankly, he's an imbecile. [00:37:33] Speaker B: I was really on board with getting rid of all the native accents because I can't do accents. And I was so looking forward to being able to do some voices for these gentlemen. Now it's all been blown out of the water. It's a chop chop. I can do chop chop. [00:37:47] Speaker A: Yeah. I can't do. I can't do Ban this. Bon that. I don't know what that is. What is that? Norwegian? Is he Swedish? [00:37:53] Speaker B: Swedish? [00:37:53] Speaker A: I can't. I can't do that. All I know about Swedish is the Swedish chef from the Muppets. [00:37:59] Speaker B: An Abba. [00:38:00] Speaker A: Oh, well, yes, yes. [00:38:02] Speaker B: Waterloo Ibon. Looking for something new? Alright. This yunk is an electronic brain scanner to which, with our scientist friend plugged into it, his entire mental capacities were drained and then sent to Z World Crime Combine via radio. So now they have all Z data they need to build Z rocket to shoot down Z Hawke Kite. We are too late. Olaf. We must tell Z listener. [00:38:36] Speaker A: You can't do a French accent. [00:38:40] Speaker B: Give me a minute. I have to pretend I have a Cigarette holder in my mouth. So now they have all the data they need to build the rahe. To shoot down the hawk kite. We are too late, Olaf. No, because it turns into German. We are too late, Olaf. We must tell the listener. We are too late. [00:39:00] Speaker A: Are you gonna try the accent? [00:39:01] Speaker B: This is the problem. When I took French class after taking German class, I could speak French and write, but I would always. [00:39:08] Speaker A: His entire mental capacities were drained. Then he sent to the world. Crime combined via radio. So they now have the data they need. They haven't appropriately put the ze where they should. Right. So they now have all the data they need to build the rocket to shoot down the octite. V Vui. [00:39:35] Speaker B: That's the French word. [00:39:36] Speaker A: We are too late. We are too, too late. Olaf. We must tell the listener. That's good. That's possible. Yeah. [00:39:43] Speaker B: Now Chuck's American listener to Big Eye. No go Leaper and Monsieur Machine report. Scientists brain drained. [00:39:49] Speaker A: Big Eye to listener. Bad show. The rocket part, it's gotta be stopped before it reaches the launch site. Find out where it is fast. [00:39:57] Speaker B: All right. Not long after, at a British rocket base on the moon, there's so many words. [00:40:03] Speaker A: All the arrows in the words. [00:40:05] Speaker B: Dr. Hands is on site. The rocket base commandant got word from George to give you all the information about the missing rocket. But your name escapes me. What is your background, sir? This is weird, because he. But also he. [00:40:26] Speaker A: Is that a speak thought bubble? [00:40:28] Speaker B: Yes, but also, the guy literally just called him Dr. Hands and then asks his name. [00:40:34] Speaker A: Yes. [00:40:35] Speaker B: Oh, but I guess George just said Dr. Hands is coming. Didn't say what kind of doctor. So, okay, Chop Chop tells him he's an important rocket scientist. The gentleman in charge explains how and where the rocket was stolen through a hole in the fence. And they have not been able to trace it. A mile beyond the base, Chop Chop takes off across the moor and wanders over the desolate terrain and finds the rocket range refuse area where all the old rockets go when they die. But are they all dead? All right. Yeah. No, because this is where the stolen rocket is. It's been hidden among the junk. Right. And some goons are there to steal it with a magnet. [00:41:34] Speaker A: They're gonna load it into a truck or something, right? [00:41:38] Speaker B: Sure. Well, they're picking up some other junk with the magnet. And then here comes Dr. Hands. And so they release all the junk on top of Chop Chop, but he flails his titanium hands mightily above his head and flings off all the junk. [00:41:59] Speaker A: He doesn't have super strength, but he's [00:42:03] Speaker B: Got kung fu power. That's the next best thing, as everyone knows. Yes. If you grew up in the 70s. Remember that episode of Charlie's Angels where the plane was hijacked and they were undercover as stewardesses and there. But there was one real stewardess, the one Asian on the whole episode, and she knew. She knocked down the cabin door with a very, very weak karate kick. You know, you could do anything with kung fu powers. [00:42:36] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. [00:42:38] Speaker B: All right. [00:42:39] Speaker A: God, those were the days. [00:42:40] Speaker B: They discover now that Chop Chop has metal hands. Sorry, Dr. Hands has metal hands. And so they turn that magnet back on and fling him up into the air. [00:42:49] Speaker A: And where. What happens next? [00:42:51] Speaker B: Well, they fling him around, cut the power, so he's flung down into the quicksand. Speaking of the 70s quicksand, do they [00:43:03] Speaker A: have quicksand on the nemesis fear of every child of the 1970s. [00:43:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:09] Speaker A: Was that you would get stuck in quicksand. [00:43:11] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:43:13] Speaker A: We haven't seen quicksand in a long time. [00:43:15] Speaker B: No, I've never seen it for real [00:43:18] Speaker A: work friend Chuck always sends us stuff about quicksand. [00:43:22] Speaker B: Well, you know how to get out of quicksand, right? You don't struggle, you don't lay flat. [00:43:28] Speaker A: Well, chop. Dr. Hands does struggle. [00:43:33] Speaker B: Hey, they do have quicksand on the moors. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Do they? [00:43:36] Speaker B: Often appears as patches of bog mire or moss covered wet sediment and occurs when sand or soil is saturated with water. It loses its density. Yeah, okay, okay. I was skeptical, but good work. Bob Haney did some research for once. It was written by Bob Haney, by the way. [00:43:56] Speaker A: So doesn't it look like Dr. Hand's I want to Chop Chops Hands have been removed from his body in that panel and they're sitting just a little bit too far forward from his body. Uh huh. [00:44:05] Speaker B: Yeah, so. But his metal hands now are betraying him because he's sinking down in the sand because his hands are so heavy, sinking like a Sad Sick Rock. Dr. Hands to Golden Centurion. Dr. Hands to Golden Centurion. Need help? My location is glub, glub, glub, glub. Too late I go to join my celestial ancestors. With shamed face, I failed to save Black Hawk. [00:44:30] Speaker A: But then a golden hand grasps a titanium one. [00:44:33] Speaker B: It stan by gar. Another second and I lose you, little fella. [00:44:38] Speaker A: And now they're under the quicksand. But it's clear water. That makes no sense. [00:44:43] Speaker B: No, I think he grabbed him up out of the quicksand. They're flying. [00:44:46] Speaker A: Oh, they're flying. Oh, they're flying. Okay, [00:44:50] Speaker B: now Stan's gotta go after the rocket since he can fly. He follows the track across the moor and discovers that the goons are getting away in a boat. They shoot some missiles up at him. But they sure don't know what Stan can do. [00:45:08] Speaker A: No, he can excrete liquid gold. [00:45:12] Speaker B: Ionized, pure gold. [00:45:14] Speaker A: And look, that man who is coated in gold that just solidified is still alive. Which I find very hard to believe. If you've had molten gold shot at [00:45:27] Speaker B: you, no one said it's molten blister, it's ionized. Lest you think the Blackhawks are the only ones using their native accent, how about one of these British goons? Cor blimey, that bloke's coat and everything with gold. By gar, it sure costs plenty being a Super Blackhawk fighting on the gold standard. Yeah, it would. If you're shooting gold. Is that your only power? [00:45:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:55] Speaker B: Is that also what your jetpack's powered with? Just shoots gold out the back and off you go? [00:46:00] Speaker A: Well, he gets fired at and his rocket's knocked out. [00:46:04] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah, my jetpack's been hit. I. My flying power's cut off. I'm diving down into the sea like a 24 carat rock. [00:46:14] Speaker A: He's gonna sink to the bottom, isn't he? [00:46:15] Speaker B: He sure is. Down, down, down plummets the Golden Centurion toward the uncaring sea. When you're wearing a 743 pound suit and you can only use your solar powered transistors for walking against a hard surface, you really plunge. Like now. [00:46:32] Speaker A: So as he's sinking to the bottom of the ocean, they're taking the rocket via helicopter away. Yeah, but once he reaches the bottom, he lands on his head, turns himself upside down, or rather right side up, and just walks on the ocean floor. [00:46:47] Speaker B: Yeah, that's all he could do is walk the English Channel. He's got to radio Chuck Golden Zenturia to listen her. Chuck really has nothing to do, does he? No, he's Lieutenant Hurrah. [00:47:02] Speaker A: He gives orders. [00:47:03] Speaker B: Sigourney Weaver and Galaxy Quest. Just repeats what other people say. [00:47:06] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:47:08] Speaker B: Honestly, that's kind of like what my job is. But that's why I need those pajamas. Soon, the Golden Centurion. To the listener, the message gets the big eye. And Big Eye realizes that the boys have failed. The data from that scientist brain and the rocket are on their way to some secret launch site. Once that rocket is put together, I'm a floating bullseye up here. Must locate the launch site fast. So, to be clear, he's in orbit [00:47:38] Speaker A: now, it's not a kite. [00:47:40] Speaker B: Well, then why do they call it a kite? [00:47:42] Speaker A: I don't know. It's a rocket ship. It's a jet rocket ship. It's not a kite. [00:47:48] Speaker B: He's in orbit over Italy, however. Yes, I can recognize that much. Now, what he can try is to go lower and begin saturation photo recon. [00:47:59] Speaker A: Maybe someone's gonna have to reel on the string so he can go lower. [00:48:04] Speaker B: Yes, that's what Lady Blackhawk's for, all right. He calls Hendy. Meantime, in the Crime Combine headquarters, the voice of the Supreme Overlord grates again on the ears of the cowled Cohorts, the leaders of all the world's terror groups. Now, these are groups that we've seen before. Cyclops, Spectre, Thresh, and Ogre. Ogre? The only one I remember is Ogre. Organization for general revenge and extortion. [00:48:38] Speaker A: Stuff. I thought it was an organization for [00:48:41] Speaker B: general revenge and extortion. Or evil, maybe. I'll have to look it up. Excellent. Those Blackhawks have been defeated at every turn. Operation Big Eye is going very successful. [00:48:55] Speaker A: That. His voice grates on them. [00:48:58] Speaker B: Excellent. Those Blackhawks have been defeated at every turn. Operation Bigeye is going very successfully. Shortly, the rocket that shall destroy Black Hawk and the Hawk kite. Drake, definitely a kite, will be fired because no one could ever find the launch site. Truly, you have chosen well to make me your Supreme Overlord. [00:49:24] Speaker A: What choice did we have? He chose himself, whoever he is. [00:49:28] Speaker B: But you've got to admit, he's a great leader. Those Blackhawks are doomed. It sure does look like the countdown is beginning for the Big Eye. He's doing photo recon. Thousands of square miles of photo recon. And nothing that remotely resembles a launch site. I can't photograph the whole world. There's no time. [00:49:48] Speaker A: If only he had Google Earth or [00:49:50] Speaker B: a kite that could literally photograph the whole world. But nope, no such luck. [00:49:55] Speaker A: This new leader of the Crime Combine. [00:49:59] Speaker B: Yeah, Crime Combine. [00:50:01] Speaker A: The Supreme Overlord. He's tougher than the Emperor. And smarter, too. Maybe we've overestimated. Maybe the new Blackhawks are pushover antiques after all. [00:50:10] Speaker B: Just like the old ones. [00:50:11] Speaker A: He's having a complete meltdown. [00:50:13] Speaker B: Don't you believe it. [00:50:14] Speaker A: Uh oh. [00:50:15] Speaker B: Bump. Bump. It's Zinda. [00:50:17] Speaker A: Zinda. [00:50:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:50:18] Speaker A: Black Hawk. [00:50:19] Speaker B: I've been hidden aboard since the Hawk kite Lake left the rendezvous spot. [00:50:23] Speaker A: Hidden. Hidden. [00:50:24] Speaker B: Hidden aboard. You're part of the team, Zinda. You didn't get to hide. They were expecting you. Also, you're a pilot. Why don't you take the photos why didn't she. [00:50:36] Speaker A: Why couldn't she be helpful? She's hiding. [00:50:39] Speaker B: Hiding? What's she doing? [00:50:39] Speaker A: Putting on her makeup or something. [00:50:40] Speaker B: Making dinner or something. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Diary. Today I arrived and no one remembered that I was arriving. [00:50:46] Speaker B: Cooking for seven is not easy work. Cook for six. Great. Eight. Yes, seven. That's harder to figure out. The measurements. [00:50:54] Speaker A: Well, she's cooking for herself plus them. [00:50:56] Speaker B: Oh, okay, so that'd be. Well, no, she can't eat with them. They're men. [00:51:00] Speaker A: Well, she probably doesn't eat very much. [00:51:02] Speaker B: No, sometimes she just forgets to eat. [00:51:04] Speaker A: She forgets to eat. Right. I wanted to be with you. Up here, fighting beside you. Well, you're not. You're hiding. Okay? You need me. You're going to win. I know you are. [00:51:13] Speaker B: You shouldn't have done it. Honey. The Hawk kite is nothing but a big. Well, it's a kite. It's a shooting gallery duck. [00:51:21] Speaker A: Actually not a kite. [00:51:22] Speaker B: Pasted in the sky. That rocket may be zeroing in on us right now. [00:51:27] Speaker A: Suddenly. George to Bigeye. George to Bigeye. One of our agents spotted stolen rocket leaving North Sea fishing port by trawler. Managed to plan plant tracking. Transmitting on it. Transmitter frequency able. Zebra4 r1. Thought you might like to know. Over. Thought you might like to know. [00:51:47] Speaker B: Thanks. Oh George. That George sir has a way out. Sense of humor. Thought I'd like to know. Brother. This may be the break we need. Zinda baby. There. We're picking up that tracking transmitter's signals now. Beep a peep. Boop beep beep beep boop beep boop boop beep beep boop boop beep. Quickly Blackhawk correlates the signal on his plotboard. [00:52:11] Speaker A: It's coming from latitude 72 north longitude 16 east off Norway's northern coast. But that couldn't be the launch site. Or could it? Hang on Lady Black Hawk. We're going down. [00:52:21] Speaker B: Hoo boy, do we need to figure out a Norwegian accent now. [00:52:24] Speaker A: Oh God, I can't. [00:52:28] Speaker B: Heard now as the Double headed flying HQ of the New Blackhawks descends lower to 40 miles. 30 miles, 25 miles above the Arctic Ocean. [00:52:39] Speaker A: Low enough. Don't want to give him any help spotting us. [00:52:43] Speaker B: There it is, honey. The launch site Inside that iceberg. Who would have thought of it? Who but the Supreme Overlord? He's fantastic. [00:52:53] Speaker A: Oh good Lord. [00:52:55] Speaker B: Okay, we're back in the ball game. Now to check on Hendy and see how he's coming with my order. [00:53:01] Speaker A: And inside a small gun shop in a quiet district of London. Sorry Mr. Big Eye. But your order is not quite ready. And what about the delivery? You were. [00:53:11] Speaker B: Change. [00:53:12] Speaker A: Wait, wait. You change and you're dressed so much. I'm sorry. I got mixed up in the. I don't know what happened to me. Sorry. [00:53:21] Speaker B: Well, what happened is that you are trying to do. I'm trying to do a German person doing a British accent. [00:53:26] Speaker A: British accent, yes. But when the regular customers left the small shop. [00:53:31] Speaker B: Dunder, I couldn't explain to Blackhawk that the drone rocket with the special gizmo is giving even the weapons master lots of trouble. But I've got to finish it tonight, no matter what. [00:53:45] Speaker A: Good job. So, meanwhile, this is a fever dream of multiple locations, multiple people doing multiple things, and all of them failing. [00:53:53] Speaker B: Right? [00:53:53] Speaker A: Let's join our four familiar gentlemen on a secret business trip. [00:53:57] Speaker B: It's Dr. Hans, Monsieur Machine, the Leaper, and the Golden Centurion. Truly, do you think it's a wise gig, Andre, that we four do the bird bit to the northern climes? [00:54:08] Speaker A: May we chub Chubb? The only way that we can redeem ourselves after our failures is to get to the iceberg and clobber the rocket before it can be launched against Black Hawk. [00:54:19] Speaker B: By Gar. Stan agrees. I can't wait to tangle with them bozos again. [00:54:24] Speaker A: Yimini, you were walking. You walking. Jewelry store. Just keep cool. [00:54:29] Speaker B: Oh, sorry. You did. You missed the asset. [00:54:31] Speaker A: I can't. I couldn't. [00:54:32] Speaker B: Walking. Jewelry store used. Keep cool. [00:54:35] Speaker A: I hate this comic so much. Okay, anyway. [00:54:38] Speaker B: Oh, no, that's a. That's Vera in Azimain. All clean. Just like old country. That's it. We got it all clean. You walking. You restore. You skip. Cool. [00:54:51] Speaker A: Okay. Shortly as. [00:54:54] Speaker B: What a breakthrough. [00:54:58] Speaker A: Shortly as the plane lands on an ice block sleds. [00:55:03] Speaker B: You pun crazy, Andre. Oh, now I lost it. You pun crazy. We're not going across the ice field on them, Stan and I don't need them anyway. [00:55:13] Speaker A: Hold on, Olaf. The Leaper and the Golden Centurion. You would see. You would be seen easily. We must approach the surface below. Any radar or lookouts. Look, the polar bears. Like the polar bears. Jesus God in heaven, help me. [00:55:28] Speaker B: Truly, it seems these toys will sink and us with them on the open water. Places in the ice field. Chop chops. [00:55:35] Speaker A: New word. [00:55:35] Speaker B: Yes. New waves talking. [00:55:37] Speaker A: Okay. You shall see now, mes enfants. Pretend it's Christmas morning. Santa Claus has just given you the beautiful new sleds. [00:55:45] Speaker B: Surely he would have said Pere Noel. Oh, and away we go at our sleds. Right? Sliding down this iceberg. Right into the water. Thank you, Minnie. Here comes a dunking. Thank God they still have the Blackhawk trade corner. God. Dear editor, I'm willing to pay 70 cents for numbers 180 through 221. As in bulk. 70 cents for all those issues? I don't think so, buster. Well, I'm not gonna go through all of that. But the sleds are rocket powered. They're shooting right across the water. [00:56:23] Speaker A: God. [00:56:24] Speaker B: Naturally. Amand. These are jet sleds. [00:56:27] Speaker A: These are jet sleds. Natural mond. And they reach the iceberg. Oh, now we take up the elevator. [00:56:34] Speaker B: They hit the iceberg and shoot up into the air towards this helicopter. [00:56:38] Speaker A: Split up, mes amis and shoes, partner for the dance. [00:56:43] Speaker B: They start punching just like the old days. Except for Olaf. He's leaping. [00:56:47] Speaker A: Yeah, and this is all Norwegians. But no one says anything, so you have to make up a noise. [00:56:54] Speaker B: Dan is shooting gold at the helicopter. That ought to do something. Meanwhile, in the iceberg's icy heart, Blackhawk's attacking. Supreme Overlord commands we must fire the rocket before they break in. [00:57:10] Speaker A: Commence countdown. 10, 9, 8. [00:57:13] Speaker B: While miles above in space. Black Hawk. Black Hawk. [00:57:18] Speaker A: Sorry, what's that coming up at us? [00:57:20] Speaker B: The rocket. If she thinks that's a rocket, she needs some eyeglasses. It's a balloon. Clearly. [00:57:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:31] Speaker B: No, Zinda, it's Hendy's gizmo. We must get it inside and set it up. I've got a funny feeling it's bullseye time. [00:57:40] Speaker A: And we've got a funny feeling it's cutoff time. Until the next chapter of the new Blackhawk era hurtles your way at our nearest newsstand, just bring 12 cents and yell hawk. Ah, thank God this is over. [00:57:56] Speaker B: For now, we're going to need to write new lyrics to the Black Hawk song. Hawk. We are the Blackhawks Hawk. All remember our names. Dr. Hans, Monsieur Machine, Golden Centurion and the Leaper and the Listener and Big Eye and Lady Black Hawk 2. So I'll work on that this week. [00:58:19] Speaker A: Okay, [00:58:22] Speaker B: you can find us on social media at GoGoCheckPoint, where I can read [00:58:26] Speaker A: that thing you sent me. [00:58:28] Speaker B: Oh my gosh, I forgot all about it. Yes, we've got a Time Machine Mailbag. I was so excited by Irene Vardenoff I forgot about our other special feature, Time Machine Mailbag. Yay. Time Machine Mailbag. Where we read letters from the past and answer them today. Time Machine Mail Bag. Better late than never is what mother used to say. Dear Dr. Husband, yes, my boyfriend goes to an out Of Town College. He's invited me to come there with his parents to spend a weekend. They will pay all the expenses, including the cost of the train tickets and my hotel room. I think this is extremely generous of them and I would like to know what to do in return. Do you think I ought to buy them a gift of some kind? Signed Mary. [00:59:17] Speaker A: Wow, Mary. Well, that is very generous of them. Especially train. Don't we love to travel by train? [00:59:23] Speaker B: I'll say. [00:59:24] Speaker A: Oh, well. So what should you do? Well, if you're young, you probably don't have a lot of money. And of course your boyfriend's in college, so the parents don't expect a lot from you. But a kind gesture might be some sort of. You might. What would a young person do? Make them. [00:59:41] Speaker B: Don't get knocked up by your boyfriend, for one thing. [00:59:47] Speaker A: That's it. Don't get knocked up. Maybe perhaps make them a gift. [00:59:50] Speaker B: Yeah. A little lovely needlework, something. [00:59:52] Speaker A: Yes. Or have them over and make them a meal back home. That might be nice. They would enjoy that. [00:59:57] Speaker B: Sure, sure. [00:59:58] Speaker A: Maybe some needlework. Or let's see, this is the 1960s, so maybe something knitted would be lovely. Yes, they would very much appreciate that. Yeah. Yes. Sorry. No, no mean answer from me. [01:00:07] Speaker B: That's fine. [01:00:08] Speaker A: Yes. Dear Dr. Bob, I have taken up a collection in my office to buy a present for one of the secretaries. Since I am very friendly with her. I happen to know that you would love to have a certain nightgown and negligee set that we admired in the store. We admired in the store. Huh? Do you think it's too personal a gift to give from a group that consists of men and women? We do have a very friendly, informal type of office where everyone calls each other by his first name. Signed Francis. [01:00:37] Speaker B: Francis. Are you. You are like a walking HR nightmare. I wouldn't give a secretary a negligee set if it was an all women office. Are you kidding me? [01:00:53] Speaker A: No. Absolutely not. [01:00:55] Speaker B: Yes. What kind of office is this? Throw back a scotch and give everybody a nightie set. [01:01:02] Speaker A: They all sit around smoking cigarettes inside. [01:01:04] Speaker B: Jeez, Marie. Sure. [01:01:07] Speaker A: Yes. No, Good call. [01:01:10] Speaker B: Also, the real answer from 1967 says something for the bride to be's future home would make a more appropriate present in this situation. There's nothing in the letter that she's engaged to be married. [01:01:23] Speaker A: Yes, you're right. Yes. [01:01:29] Speaker B: Nightgown and negligee set. I'm gonna lose my mind, right? [01:01:33] Speaker A: Because. Read me another one. [01:01:35] Speaker B: Dear Dr. Husband, the boy I am going to marry is known as Scotty to all his friends and everyone in the neighborhood. This presents a problem when it comes to having wedding invitations printed. If we use his real name, which is Myron, no one will know to whom we are referring. Besides, my fiance hates his name and has never used it. My mother says it would look terrible to have a nickname on anything as formal as a wedding invitation. I suppose she is right. But still, I would like to please Scotty. Maybe we ought to compromise and use his real name with Scotty after it in parenthesis. Please tell me what you think. Signed, Doris. [01:02:13] Speaker A: My God, Doris, are you an idiot? Yes. Use his nickname. So just say, you know, Mr. Myron. I don't want to say his last name. Smith. [01:02:24] Speaker B: Right. Right. [01:02:24] Speaker A: Mr. Myron. Scotty Smith and Doris the idiot in desire the pleasure of your company at their. Engage at their wedding. Yes, Doris, your mother is an idiot, too. Use the word Scotty and people will know in parentheses. [01:02:45] Speaker B: It's not like you're. It's not like you're. [01:02:49] Speaker A: This infuriates me. I don't know what else to say. Just why would you even take the time to write this in? God. But also. [01:02:56] Speaker B: Again, the real answer. I agree with your mother. It would be in bad taste to use anything but your fiance's given name on a wedding invitation. [01:03:06] Speaker A: Is that what. [01:03:07] Speaker B: That's the real answer? [01:03:08] Speaker A: No. No, that's not the real answer. This is Time Machine Mailbag. We're answering with real. With water. Yes, you, Scotty. Good God. Dear Dr. Bob. Yeah, I am 16 years old and have just recently begun dating. Oh. Okay. I've been taken out to dinner a few times by different boys, but I have not been completely at ease. Okay. One of my reasons for this is that I'm not sure of my table manners when it comes to eating certain foods. For example, once I went to an Italian restaurant and I ordered spaghetti. I had a terrible time getting the spaghetti up on the fork. Finally, my escort suggested that I support the fork against a spoon while twisting it around. This did make things a little easier, but I'm not sure this is a proper way to eat spaghetti. Signed, Linda. Because normally I eat it with my fingers at all. [01:04:00] Speaker B: Linda, you're new to dating, so I guess you can be forgiven for this one thing. But why. Why in the F are you ordering spaghetti on a date? [01:04:12] Speaker A: Oh, right. [01:04:14] Speaker B: What? I'm gonna lose my mind again? [01:04:17] Speaker A: Maybe he took her to the Olive Garden. [01:04:19] Speaker B: They have lots of other things at the Olive Garden besides sloppy spaghetti with meat sauce. [01:04:24] Speaker A: Right. [01:04:25] Speaker B: Like, get a salad, you can eat. All the salad you want. [01:04:28] Speaker A: So could you imagine, like, twisting it around? Even if you use a fork, one part slips off the floor and slings sauce onto Linda's cardigan. [01:04:38] Speaker B: You probably got a pretty pink or white, right? With red sauce on. With sauce all over it. [01:04:43] Speaker A: Yes. [01:04:44] Speaker B: That's why my mother could never go anywhere. So everywhere she went, she'd get food all over her shirt. [01:04:49] Speaker A: It was like watching a circus. Watching your mother eat in public, right? [01:04:53] Speaker B: Yes. [01:04:54] Speaker A: Yeah. She would always get food on herself. Plus she'd pick up the plates and use your finger to get the sauce off the plate. [01:05:00] Speaker B: Now, I've eaten a lot of spaghetti in my life because, as you know, I grew up the only non Italian family in an Italian neighborhood. [01:05:06] Speaker A: Yes. [01:05:07] Speaker B: And you absolutely used the twisty with the spoon technique. [01:05:10] Speaker A: Yes. [01:05:11] Speaker B: Listen to this from 1967. Spaghetti should be eaten with a fork only, both in Italy and this country. It is incorrect to use a fork and spoon. False information. Because I know people who came directly from Italy. Columbus, Ohio. Ideally, you should spear a few strands of the spaghetti with your fork and then twist it around in such a way as to wrap the strands neatly around it. To be practical, though, it may be necessary to cut the strands with the side of your fork. No. Before winding them. They must never be bitten off. What, are you just supposed to slurp it down your throat? [01:05:50] Speaker A: You do not cut the pasta. No, no. [01:05:57] Speaker B: So, Linda, it's best to just order a chicken cutlet or something or just rely on the endless salad bowl. [01:06:03] Speaker A: Stick with what you know. [01:06:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:06:04] Speaker A: Soup. [01:06:05] Speaker B: Soup. And get the creamy chicken soup. Don't get the minestrone because that'll also slop all over your clothes. Yes. [01:06:12] Speaker A: Linda, I'm so worried about how cream can hide. I'm so worried about how Linda's gonna look at the end of her date. [01:06:17] Speaker B: Well, spaghetti in her hair. Her hair. [01:06:23] Speaker A: Like all the stains on her beautiful pink cardigan. [01:06:25] Speaker B: Yes. And she's probably got to go to high school dance after that. [01:06:28] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. All covered in food waste. [01:06:35] Speaker B: Why don't you have your. Maybe go to the Texas Roadhouse and just fill up on peanuts and then you can throw those shells on the floor. That doesn't matter. They don't care about the mess there. [01:06:45] Speaker A: God, I forgot about the Texas Roadhouse. [01:06:48] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Remember that barrel of peanuts? [01:06:51] Speaker A: God. On the floor. [01:06:53] Speaker B: Yes, yes. And I want to tell you something, Dr. Husband. [01:06:57] Speaker A: What? [01:06:58] Speaker B: We used to think that was the epitome of fine dining. [01:07:02] Speaker A: Theme dining. Yes. Yes, we did. Yeah. [01:07:05] Speaker B: My. [01:07:05] Speaker A: We remember the Rainforest Cafe. [01:07:07] Speaker B: I loved the Rainforest Cafe. And what was the other jungle themed restaurant where they had the hamburgers with peanut butter on it? [01:07:15] Speaker A: That was not. That was Fuddruckers. [01:07:19] Speaker B: Was it? No, it was definitely jungle themed. [01:07:22] Speaker A: I think you're wrong about that. [01:07:24] Speaker B: No, that's okay. [01:07:26] Speaker A: All right. But Fudruckers is where we had the peanut butter hamburgers. [01:07:31] Speaker B: If you haven't tried peanut butter on a hamburger listener, it is don't know what you're missing. [01:07:36] Speaker A: It is so good. [01:07:37] Speaker B: Anyway, where was I? You can find us on social media at GoGoChekPod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast Nerd Orchestra, recording a new episode this week. And you can find us right back here next week. Are you sitting down? It's an 80 page giant. [01:07:59] Speaker A: 80 page giant. [01:08:00] Speaker B: 80 page giant. Yeah, it's the flash. 80 page tonight with the Flash. [01:08:04] Speaker A: Awesome. [01:08:06] Speaker B: Bye. You don't have to be a politician. You can change it all with a sin and dispositions of a heavenly and spread it all around. If you find yourself a frowning just turn it upside down. When you ever smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You gotta give in one time. You gotta turn on the sunshine. Push those blues away. This dialectics too much.