Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready?
[00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there.
Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967.
I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, GI Combat 123. Cover date April 1967 cover price $0.12. Cover artist Russ Heath. Edited by Robert Kaniger. Featuring the Target of Terror Written by Robert Kaniger. Art by Russ Heath.
And Tales of the unexpected 100. Cover date April 1967 cover price $0.12. Cover artist Carmine Infantino and George Russos. Edited by Jack Schiff. Featuring Judy Blonde Secret agent Writer unknown Art by Bernard Bailey. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go.
[00:01:16] Speaker C: If you're walking in the shadows Then it's time that you get wise.
Just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes.
When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray.
You gotta turn on the sunshine. You're gonna push the blues away.
[00:01:43] Speaker A: Jeb Stuart receives orders to meet up with Mademoiselle Marie for a secret mission.
After detouring around a demolished bridge, the haunted tank arrives at Marie's location and takes out an enemy tank that had her pinned down. Marie is still alive, but now she suffers from shell shock and can't remember her mission. Then plane Jane. Judy discovers whether or not blondes really do have more fun. Confused. Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain.
[00:02:53] Speaker B: What?
[00:02:53] Speaker A: I won't be made satisfied.
[00:02:56] Speaker B: Why?
[00:02:57] Speaker A: Well, last week it was too cold. Now it's too hot.
Now there's a thunderstorm coming. We're under a tornado watch.
[00:03:06] Speaker B: And have you seen the temperatures for next week?
[00:03:08] Speaker A: Yes, during my spring break to cold.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: My spring break back to cold. So. So a week from today. Yes, I'm going to Shenandoah National Park.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:03:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: And the high of that day. Because the high of today was like 80, right? Yes, the high a week from today will be. Are you ready for this?
[00:03:25] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:03:26] Speaker B: 45.
[00:03:27] Speaker A: This is in Fahrenheit International listeners.
[00:03:30] Speaker B: Yes, it'll be 25 degrees.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: It could be worse.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Well, if it's 45 is quite pleasant,
[00:03:36] Speaker A: but 45 and rainy.
[00:03:37] Speaker B: If.
[00:03:37] Speaker A: Is it going to be rainy? Because that's A deal breaker.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: Let's see.
[00:03:42] Speaker A: I'll just stay here.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: No, no. Partly cloudy than 40. It'll be nice.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: Okay, that'll be fine.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's, you know, I was planning on hiking and stuff, so I mean that'll be fine. It'll be fine.
[00:03:52] Speaker A: Yeah, sure.
[00:03:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: You're hardy.
[00:03:54] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I just like, I would have loved to have worn shorts and, and you know, really enjoyed warm weather during.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: Well, hope springs eternal.
Don't get me started about spring because daylight saving time is the devil and I'm done with it.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: I, I, I cannot believe in this modern age that we still continue to do that. Daylight savings time.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: It's a travesty.
[00:04:18] Speaker B: It's ridiculous.
[00:04:19] Speaker A: I don't agree with Marco Rubio on much, but he wanted to get rid of it and I say we should.
[00:04:24] Speaker B: We should. We absolutely should.
There's nothing it take. It takes a while to get used to losing that hour.
[00:04:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: Me a good week to acclimate to it.
[00:04:35] Speaker A: And we don't actually lose the hour.
The hour is still there. It's just in a different place.
And I don't approve.
[00:04:45] Speaker B: I don't approve.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: What else is new?
Oh, your birthday's coming up.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: It's a double digit year.
Double, double, double. I'll be 55.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: Double rainbow. There was a double rainbow earlier. Did you see it?
[00:05:03] Speaker D: No, I didn't know.
[00:05:03] Speaker B: Know that it's lovely outside.
[00:05:07] Speaker A: You share a birthday with Johan Sebastian Bach, so savvy listeners can Google that and find out when his birthday is.
And you can send all your best wishes on social media at GoGo Checkpod.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: Where will I be on my birthday?
[00:05:25] Speaker A: Right here.
[00:05:26] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, I see. What is today?
[00:05:29] Speaker A: This is the.
[00:05:30] Speaker B: Oh yeah, it's next week during my spring break. But I'll be, yeah, I'll be here. I'll be here.
[00:05:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
Jupiter went direct today, so I'm expecting good things to start happening for everybody.
[00:05:43] Speaker B: I mean, what do I have to report, listener?
I have resumed my dieting and exercising routine.
[00:05:51] Speaker A: Well, I never stopped.
[00:05:53] Speaker B: Miserable for me. Well, I did sort of slack off there for not much, like slacked off for a couple weeks.
And when I say a couple weeks, I literally mean just a couple weeks. Like, I just like wasn't as good about tracking my calories and such and I saw. My God, my, I'm just surprised how quickly that weight can come back on just, you know, two tenths of a pound at a time.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: Well, I don't want to criticize either one of us, but it's the drinking yeah. Pile. Is it on?
[00:06:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
And then.
[00:06:25] Speaker A: Good chance. Good luck getting us to stop.
[00:06:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Then, let's see. I had a great guitar lesson last week and a great flute lesson, which. Yeah, I study Irish flute. Want to take a lesson once a month. It requires a one and a half hour drive for me to do that.
[00:06:40] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:06:40] Speaker B: Down. Each way. Each way. So I did that. That was fun. And there you go. So I altered now since with. Now that my schedule's changed somewhat and I'm not spending my evenings in the musical rehearsals. I get up in the morning and I exercise with the dog.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: Chew Bug does not join me.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: No. She's like her father. She likes to sit on the couch
[00:07:03] Speaker B: once in a while. I can trick her into a little bit of the exercise. I can fool her, she'll get interested. But then I drop her off when I swing back around by the house and do the big part of the walk or the run, whatever it is that I'm doing.
And so anyway, I do that and gosh, that's about it. It's not really that interesting.
[00:07:21] Speaker A: It was not an interesting week.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: No, I mean we have an interesting week coming up. We're going to Columbus this weekend.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:07:30] Speaker B: On Friday.
[00:07:31] Speaker A: So we should. Spoiler alert. Sports talk coming up.
[00:07:34] Speaker B: Oh, yes. And then on Saturday we will go to a crew match. Yes, Columbus crew playing Nashville football club.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:07:43] Speaker B: And you have not been to a crew match.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: I have not.
[00:07:48] Speaker B: And I'm telling you that this is considered one of the best soccer stadiums in the entire country.
[00:07:59] Speaker A: Is it?
Is the atmosphere akin to when we went to like the local baseball game down in Florida? They have fun little things in between innings and they shoot T shirts out of a canton. And there is kind of like a.
[00:08:19] Speaker B: So, but ahead of time, before the match begins, there are fireworks, there's parades, there's all sorts of fun things.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:26] Speaker B: The players appear on the screen and everybody shouts their names.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: And everybody sings a song together.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:33] Speaker B: Words appear on the screen and it's very clear what it is. And even if you don't, it's. It's like it's to Elvis's song, Falling in love with you. I can't help falling in love with you. Yeah, but it's have different words to it.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: Do I need to learn the players names ahead of time?
[00:08:47] Speaker B: You'll know immediately. My favorite ones are Diego, Rossi and Picard. Oh, Rossi, Picard, Abu Ali.
And that's all you need to know. Okay, one more. I can't remember his name right now, but yeah.
[00:09:04] Speaker A: And Will there be beer?
[00:09:06] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:06] Speaker A: And food.
[00:09:07] Speaker B: They have a beautiful, really cool beer garden in the stadium.
[00:09:13] Speaker A: Well, as you know, Columbus, Ohio has a strong Germanic.
[00:09:17] Speaker B: That theme has been carried over into this beautiful, beautiful soccer studio.
[00:09:25] Speaker A: So they should have spelled crew C R umlaut U instead of the way they spelled it.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: I don't know why they chose the crew. But anyway, it's a lot of fun and we got. We have great seats and we're going with family and it's a blah. We'll have a good time and you'll be there with your other sister. Your younger sister.
[00:09:45] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:09:45] Speaker B: And if she doesn't enjoy herself, the two of you can commiserate together.
[00:09:48] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: While I am shouting and having a good time with your older sister, who also I watch the crew matches with on television.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes. And you'll be with your secret boyfriend?
[00:09:59] Speaker B: Yes, my secret boyfriend, Murph. Yes.
[00:10:01] Speaker A: Who's my sister's boyfriend, but he's our boyfriend in law, actually. I guess you could say yes.
Well, why are we here for? Talk about soccer all day.
[00:10:13] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no. We're here to talk about two bizarre comics.
[00:10:17] Speaker A: Mademoiselle Marie teams up with the haunted tank in a startling battlefield combination to hunt for the target of terror.
[00:10:28] Speaker B: I wasn't sure where you're going with that.
[00:10:29] Speaker A: I wasn't either. I just made it up. This is GI Combat 123. The haunted tank is a regular feature, but we get an appearance by Mademoiselle Marie. Do you remember Mademoiselle Marie?
[00:10:40] Speaker B: Remember?
[00:10:40] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:10:41] Speaker B: As in she's appeared before.
[00:10:42] Speaker A: She has appeared before, briefly.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: No, no, no. I don't remember her.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: Okay, remember. Well, Mademoiselle Marie was introduced in Star spangled War Stories 84.
[00:10:54] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:10:55] Speaker A: Created by Robert Kanagar and Jerry Grandinetti.
Marie, last name unknown, was a French farm girl who joined the French resistance during World War II. The Red Beret wearing character is notable as being the only of Sergeant Rock.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:11:14] Speaker A: In pre crisis continuity, it was revealed that Marie had a daughter named Julia Remaque, the father of her child.
Are you sitting down?
[00:11:24] Speaker B: Uh huh.
[00:11:25] Speaker A: Was Batman's butler Alfred Shut, who was an intelligence agent in France during the war?
[00:11:32] Speaker B: No way.
[00:11:33] Speaker A: Way.
At some point Following World War II, the name of Mademoiselle Marie became a codename awarded to agents of the French intelligence agency, the Direction General de la Security Exterieure, or DGSE for short. We like acronyms in my business.
So there you are. We have seen her before, either in a haunted tank or in a Sergeant Rock story.
[00:12:05] Speaker B: All right.
[00:12:08] Speaker A: GI combat number 123, the haunted tank in the Target. Oh.
[00:12:17] Speaker D: What are you doing?
[00:12:17] Speaker A: I'm reading the COVID The splash page.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: Hit me up again, please.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: Sorry.
GI combat number 123, the haunted tank in the Target of Terror.
It started with our seeing. This is the voice of Jeb Stuart, the captain. It's not Captain, is it? Pilot.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: Commander.
[00:12:41] Speaker A: Commander.
What?
[00:12:44] Speaker B: It's literally right there in front of you on the page.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: Oh, I wasn't reading that panel.
[00:12:52] Speaker B: Oh, I see what you're reading. I see. Okay.
[00:12:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
It started with our seeing a bazooka man pitting his flesh and blood against an enemy tank as we approach the bridge.
So the haunted tank sees one of their bazooka men getting nailed trying to get a Nazi tank doctor bomb. Yes.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: If someone's listening to this for the first time.
[00:13:15] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:13:15] Speaker B: Which they might be.
[00:13:16] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:13:18] Speaker B: What's haunted about this tank?
[00:13:21] Speaker A: Well, the tank is haunted by the ancestor of Jeb Stuart.
General Jeb Stuart, who was a general for the Confederate army during World War.
[00:13:35] Speaker B: Not World War.
[00:13:36] Speaker A: Civil War. The Civil War who. Actually, there's a historical marker right up the road from us commemorating something that General Jeb Stuart did.
[00:13:48] Speaker B: Really?
[00:13:48] Speaker A: Right up in Hagerston. Route 11.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: Remember that?
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Yes. Okay, so he. Yes. He haunts this tank, which is a Sherman tank, I believe.
And Jeb Stuart, the commander of the haunted tank, is his descendant.
[00:14:05] Speaker B: Do you think your mother haunts that blue citation?
[00:14:09] Speaker A: I doubt the blue citation exists anymore. But she would if it did.
[00:14:13] Speaker B: 100%.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: Yeah, she haunts me. She makes me cold at every moment, no matter the weather outside.
So the adventure starts with the bazooka men getting nailed trying to stop a Nazi tank.
[00:14:30] Speaker B: Yeah. He's standing on a wooden bridge with his bazooka trying to take out a tank.
[00:14:35] Speaker A: Yes.
All right, Just then, as the tank, the haunted tank, is going clankety, clank, clank across this wooden bridge, Commander Jeb Stuart gets a message on the radio.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:14:52] Speaker A: Mademoiselle Marie urgently needs help for top secret mission. No one knows what it is.
You are nearest to her hideout@ coordinates L456N231. So hustle over to her.
[00:15:05] Speaker B: Latitude north.
I don't know.
[00:15:08] Speaker A: I don't know. Okay, so hustle over to her. Stuart, you're elected. And place your tank at her disposal. Help her at all costs. Over.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Suddenly, the blazing steel screamed by our Stuart tank. So they're being attacked by attacking their haunted tank.
And they decide to aim their cannon. Their cannon.
Their cannon.
[00:15:31] Speaker A: Buzz Gun.
[00:15:33] Speaker B: Let's just say gun to the bridge, to the wood underneath the treads of the Nazi tank and therefore shoot it out and create instability where the tank falls through the bridge and into the river below.
[00:15:50] Speaker A: Clever boy.
[00:15:50] Speaker B: Very clever.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: Except now they can't cross the bridge.
[00:15:55] Speaker B: Yes. So they have to back across the bridge and then go to another part of the river to navigate where the water is not as deep to ford the stream for the river.
That's where he has a talk with Ghost Jeb Jed. Ghost Jed Stewart.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: Jeb Ghost J, E, B. Jeb Stewart.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:16:19] Speaker A: But first he has a vision of Mademoiselle Marie, the only beautiful babe he knows who carries a lipstick and a Tommy gun as standard equipment.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: Right.
I wish I had a ghost general that I could talk to once in a while.
[00:16:36] Speaker A: Do you, though?
[00:16:37] Speaker D: Kind of, yeah.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I would. That would be kind of cool.
You know, it would be like to have a. Like a ghost ghost. A horseback riding ghost just appear to you at certain times.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: Yeah. But what if you were limited to only having it be one of your ancestors?
Because I've got slim pickings. Yeah.
[00:16:57] Speaker B: I don't know that I have any brave ancestors in my. In my history.
[00:17:02] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: Oh, my mother's father, my grandfather. He was brave. Yeah. He was a union man. Yeah. He was a negotiator.
He was fired upon one time by the mafia.
They drove by and shot machine guns at his house.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: Mademoiselle Marie, by the way, is based on several actual people.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Among them, Simone Seguin, who was a French resistant fighter.
She just died in 2023 at age 97.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: My goodness.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: Among her first acts of resistance was stealing a bicycle from a German patrol, which she then used to help carry messages.
[00:17:45] Speaker B: Good for her.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: I'll say.
So they go down along the river. The ghost, dead grandpa appears just like in the comic strip the Family Circus.
Remember that? When dead grandpa comes.
[00:17:59] Speaker B: Yes, that's what I would.
[00:18:00] Speaker D: Wouldn't you love?
[00:18:01] Speaker B: Well, I kind of like to talk to my dead grandpa. That'd be kind of cool.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: Well, I don't even remember my grandpa.
[00:18:07] Speaker B: Well, mine died when my mom was 16. I never met him.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: I never met my one grandpa. The other I met, but I was 30 years old when he died, so.
[00:18:14] Speaker B: Oh, my other grandpa was great Grampy Tudor. Yeah, I loved him.
[00:18:19] Speaker A: Okay.
Do you think he'd come and visit you and give you advice?
[00:18:23] Speaker B: No. No.
[00:18:26] Speaker A: All right. They start to ford the river. The ghostly guardian who haunts the tank drifts into sight.
And he gets a cheerful greeting from Jeb Stuart, the commander.
[00:18:35] Speaker B: Well, hi.
[00:18:36] Speaker A: Hi, General. Any news for me?
[00:18:39] Speaker B: Ah, my young namesake. The mission you go on will be veiled in smoke to all, even to its founder. Oh, he's been confederate, but I'm just gonna do it in the southern.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: That was fine. That was fine.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: Was he union or confederate?
[00:18:49] Speaker A: Confederate.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Oh, okay. That's okay. Nothing can do with the southern.
[00:18:52] Speaker A: Sure, sure, sure.
All right.
As you may remember, listener commander Stewart is the only member of the haunted tank crew who sees the.
And so the rest of them think that he's insane, but he makes good decisions.
[00:19:09] Speaker B: So if I talk to a ghost all the time. Yeah. Who was I to. Was I talking to last night in my dream?
[00:19:16] Speaker A: Oh, I don't know. Listener Dr. Husband talks in his sleep and so it's often very entertaining for me if I happen to be awake because he carries on conversations with invisible people. So you were laughing and you said ha ha ha. And then what happened after I laug you got in the carriage and I was very excited because I thought maybe you were in a costume drama or something.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: But it was something like that. It's funny because sometimes I can really remember my dreams. But this was. We were just at a concert in a church.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:19:50] Speaker B: And it was a classical concert and the people were warming up.
They hadn't come out yet to perform.
And then some people that were with us and there were a lot of our friends there, some people that were with us found themselves next inside a classical carriage, like, you know, a fanciful Cinderella type.
[00:20:09] Speaker A: Sure, sure, sure.
[00:20:09] Speaker B: And they didn't know why they were being transported. And it turns out that they were to be the brides. The. The bridesmaid and the groom for a royal wedding which was a.
Like a big prank and they didn't know it. And so. And I don't know that's. They were relaying to me the story. But I remember in my dream I was with them in the carriage like, sort of like going, what the hell's going on? Why. Why are you in this carriage? You know.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: How exciting.
[00:20:36] Speaker B: Yes, it was very interesting in the
[00:20:38] Speaker A: old days when you had severe life threatening sleep apnea.
[00:20:43] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[00:20:44] Speaker A: I could just join the conversation and I can get you to talk about what you're dreaming about. But those days are over now. Thanks.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Nightmares. Gasping for air.
[00:20:53] Speaker A: Sure, sure, sure. But it was still entertaining for me.
All right.
The ghost refuses to tell him anymore and they're alone again. They splash over to the other side of the river and they have to look for the hideout of mademoiselle Marie, which they apparently know exactly where it is. Oh. Cause they got the coordinates.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: So they reach the hideout. It looks like the enemy Nazis have found her first.
[00:21:24] Speaker B: They're pounding the farmhouse.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: Boom, boom, boom.
[00:21:27] Speaker B: Blam, blam, blam. So then they fire on the.
On the Nazi tank and take it out.
[00:21:33] Speaker A: Take it out?
[00:21:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: Just then, mademoiselle busts out of the hideout and starts firing her own gun at the Nazi tank, which has already been destroyed.
Jeb pops out, orders her to cease fire.
[00:21:49] Speaker B: It's a good thing she didn't fire on him.
[00:21:51] Speaker A: Right? Well, they've met before.
[00:21:53] Speaker B: And he says, yes, but she's out of her mind.
[00:21:55] Speaker A: He says, I'm here to help you with your mission. And she says, what?
[00:21:59] Speaker B: What mission do you mean?
[00:22:00] Speaker A: But the. Oh, you, you. You'll do this tonight.
The shelling, Jeb thinks, must have messed up her mind and shaken her up so she can't remember. But we'll get the answer from one of the members of her unit as soon as we step into the farmhouse.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: The smoke followed us into the farmhouse where all was silent.
[00:22:20] Speaker D: They're all gone. I am the only one left.
[00:22:23] Speaker A: Think, Marie, think. You've got to think. What was the top secret mission you wanted a tank to help you on?
[00:22:30] Speaker B: He opened a box that escaped the enemy shelling. And inside, high explosives.
[00:22:35] Speaker A: Marie, you planned to dynamite something, a very important objective. Maybe you wanted a tank to create a diversion while you blew up the target. Is that it?
[00:22:45] Speaker D: Oui, that is it. A very important target to blow up.
[00:22:50] Speaker A: So he loads the explosives onto the tank. She gets in the tank with him and he says, what's the target, Marie? Where is it? Clankety, clank, clank.
[00:23:03] Speaker B: Well, he knew what the general meant by his warning.
[00:23:05] Speaker D: I, she says to him, forgive me, my head aches, though I cannot remember.
But it will come back. It must.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: Until her case of shell shock fades away, we won't know what Marie's top secret target is or the harm it can cause until it's destroyed. We've got to find out what it is.
[00:23:28] Speaker B: Oh, I didn't tell you. What?
Our colleague did come up to me and she said, seven buttholes, Rob.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: Excellent. Oh, laughed.
That's from last week's episode. If you're new here, listener, there's a gentleman with.
I maintain he only had one butthole, just seven butts. But they were all just one long tube.
[00:23:54] Speaker B: So, part two. The explosive conclusion of the haunted tank and the target of terror. As the steward clanked away from the Swirling smoke in the battle scene.
[00:24:02] Speaker A: I'd better speak silently to the General, or Marie will think that I'm shell shocked too.
[00:24:12] Speaker D: I see what you mean now, General,
[00:24:13] Speaker B: when you said no one would know what the mission was.
[00:24:16] Speaker D: But she'll remember what the target is
[00:24:18] Speaker B: before the day is over, won't she?
[00:24:21] Speaker A: Okay, so if he can speak silently
[00:24:24] Speaker B: to the ghost at any time, speak silently to him. Thank you.
[00:24:30] Speaker A: Just let the rest of the crew think you're about to be section 8.
[00:24:33] Speaker B: I wish I had a ghost that I could talk to on a horse.
Oh, that'd be so cool.
What?
[00:24:42] Speaker A: A ghost on a horse? Not. You're not on a horse.
[00:24:44] Speaker B: Know the future. Apparently he knows the future. Wouldn't it be cool to find out from the ghost what the future is?
[00:24:49] Speaker A: Well, I watch the YouTube psychics all day on YouTube while I'm working.
Sometimes they are actually. Right.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: Anyway, so Jeb says to him, you will know that at the days in Montregib.
[00:25:04] Speaker A: So he looks at the beautiful underground fighter beside him. Mademoiselle Marie. Her eyes are still dazed from the shelling she had been in.
Don't worry, Marie.
It will come back to you. The target can't be too far away, or you would have requested something faster than a tank to help you.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: Oui?
[00:25:24] Speaker D: It makes sense. If only my head would stop aching, I am sure I would remember. I must remember, or all those brave men would have died in vain.
[00:25:36] Speaker A: So they tear through the camouflage in the woods.
Which is hiding an ammunition dump.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:25:44] Speaker A: Maybe this is your target, Marie.
[00:25:46] Speaker B: So she takes her gun and starts shooting the Nazis in the trees.
[00:25:50] Speaker A: There's snipers hidden in the trees.
[00:25:52] Speaker B: Yes. And he gets his gun and he starts fisticuffs. Fighting. He's got cuts. Quite a nice.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: Well, suddenly his shirt's been ripped open to the navel. I don't know how that happened. Or did she do it?
[00:26:03] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:26:03] Speaker A: Did she think that was her mission? I've got to rip open his shirt to the navel like a proper Frenchman.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: Well, he takes to firing on the munitions.
[00:26:19] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Right, because he thinks that maybe this is what we're supposed to do.
[00:26:22] Speaker A: But nothing's happening and nothing's exploding until
[00:26:27] Speaker B: he hits just the right one. And suddenly the steward was flung skiddingly sideways as if it were a toy.
[00:26:34] Speaker A: Ha ha.
We got it. We got it, Marie. We got your target. Your unit didn't die in vain. Your target was destroyed, but you've accomplished your mission.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: But the beautiful French girl looked at him troubledly.
[00:26:46] Speaker D: I Do not think so. I do not think so. I do not think that was the target.
I would know deep in my heart if that was the target, but I do not feel it. Oh, I am sorry.
[00:26:58] Speaker A: Well, that's the way the ball bounces. Crew, we gotta keep moving.
[00:27:03] Speaker B: That's okay, Lieutenant. We heard the news.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: Clank, clank, clank, clank.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: So they continue on to find their target.
[00:27:10] Speaker A: Clank, clank, clankity, clank.
[00:27:12] Speaker D: She says, forgive me. I cannot remember yet, but I will.
[00:27:16] Speaker A: So the woods cleared suddenly, and ahead, another Nazi tank.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: A Nazi tank on a bridge.
[00:27:22] Speaker A: And the tank is guarding the bridge.
[00:27:25] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:27:26] Speaker A: So Slim, he's the driver of the tank.
We should mention the crew. Slim, Rick and Arch, which we don't
[00:27:35] Speaker B: get much of these guys.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: No, we don't.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: They're kind of in this issue.
[00:27:39] Speaker A: In this issue.
[00:27:40] Speaker B: In this issue.
[00:27:41] Speaker A: All right, so Slim takes off after this Nazi tank. He thinks this could be Marie's target.
They had to get real close before their special armor piercing shells could do anything. But Rick's the gunner. He does it.
Suddenly, another Nazi tank comes up behind him and shoots. And they go careening down towards the river.
[00:28:06] Speaker B: Oh, it's a good thing they didn't land inside the river upside down.
[00:28:09] Speaker A: Yeah, because that's what happened to the first Nazi tank.
All right, if they can't blow the bridge from the top, they can do it from the bottom. Marie says, yes, in French, that would be oui.
They take some high explosives, plant it
[00:28:25] Speaker B: on the bridge and take the bridge down.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: Take the bridge down.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: They don't knock out the tank, though, do they? Oh, they do.
[00:28:33] Speaker A: Yeah, they do.
[00:28:34] Speaker B: Oh, how? How?
[00:28:35] Speaker A: With. It's.
It's not very clear. Clear in the drawing here. Yeah, but Rick fires the up the bank at the Nazi tank and gets it. Blows it up.
[00:28:50] Speaker B: Okay.
And they go across the river and climb out.
[00:28:54] Speaker A: Your target wasn't the ammo dump, Mademoiselle Marie. So it must have been this bridge, right?
[00:29:00] Speaker D: No, no, I am sorry. I do not feel that this is the target.
But I know that I will remember the moment my head stops aching.
[00:29:08] Speaker A: Well, she's got a migraine.
Migraine or migraine for our international listeners.
[00:29:13] Speaker B: Yes. So she says they suddenly come upon a castle.
[00:29:17] Speaker D: Jeb, that castle ahead, that is the target. I feel it. I feel it.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: But why, Marie? It's nothing but a shell torn, deserted pile of stone. Why should we blow it up?
[00:29:28] Speaker D: Oh, I do not remember why. Yes. I only feel the castle must be blown up.
[00:29:34] Speaker A: Clank, clank, clankity, clank Clank. This castle isn't very well defended. It's got the drawbridge down.
[00:29:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:42] Speaker A: There's no guards inside.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: Well.
[00:29:45] Speaker A: Oh, there is a tank. Sorry, but there are. It's a very fancy castle. There's two courtyards, so they escape the Nazi tank, they go to the other courtyard, and they find many holes in the ground with.
With rockets. There are underground rocket launch pads aimed at London.
[00:30:11] Speaker D: Oh, my God. This. This is the target. This terror. We that ruthlessly destroy innocent people. We must blow them up before they can be fired.
[00:30:22] Speaker A: Jeb's hopped out of the tank. The tank is covering him and Marie. As the Nazi tank advances from the other courtyard, they have to set high explosives that will detonate in 30 seconds. Even if that doesn't give them much of a chance to get away. Of course, either one of them is willing to give their lives anyway.
[00:30:40] Speaker D: We must chance it.
[00:30:42] Speaker A: They get back in the tank, they tell Slim to hit the gas because there's gonna be a big explosion here in a couple of seconds.
[00:30:49] Speaker B: And there is a massive, massive explosion which sends the rockets, the castle, the German tank, everything.
[00:30:58] Speaker A: Everything explodes. The haunted tank barely escapes.
[00:31:02] Speaker B: Barely escapes.
[00:31:04] Speaker A: Of course, the whole area is going to be buzzing with enemy after this.
Marie, you better come back with us to our lines where you will be safe.
[00:31:14] Speaker D: No, ship. I cannot. I must stay here behind the Emeni lines to form a new underground unit. I am a soldier, just like you. I must fight my war in my own way.
[00:31:30] Speaker A: I should have known I wouldn't win an argument with a woman.
Good luck, Marie.
[00:31:35] Speaker D: The same to you, Jeb. Perhaps we shall meet again on another mission.
[00:31:41] Speaker A: Uh, props to her crawling around wartime
[00:31:47] Speaker B: France in those flats.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: Mid calf length skirt and pumps. Like Lou Lynn pumps.
[00:31:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:31:55] Speaker A: Well, that's all we gotta watch for the next exciting haunted tank battle tale and the latest issue of the one and only GI Combat. And if you think that's all we have for this episode, you've got another thing. Think.
[00:32:04] Speaker B: No, sir, that is not I. Too much to my chagrin.
No, actually, the next one is kind
[00:32:10] Speaker A: of interesting, actually, because we've got Tales of the unexpected.
Number 100 with a green Glob. Weirdy.
The Green Glob, as you may remember, listener, is a exactly what it sounds like. A green glob that's invisible to human eyes, but floats around the universe, granting wishes to people.
It's a mysterious gaseous mass, invisible to human eyes to affect mankind in strange and bizarre ways, retroactively revealed to have been created by the guardians of the Universe who also created the Green Lantern Corps.
[00:32:56] Speaker B: Okay,
[00:33:01] Speaker A: but in this story that's not been revealed yet, it's just a green glob.
We all, at one time or another, wish we were someone else. A movie star, perhaps, or a war hero, fireman, Indian chief.
Plain Jane. Secretary Judy Brown made such a wish, and it came true through the mystifying powers of the green globe.
Then Judy found herself steeped in intrigue and mystery as she became Judy. Judy Blonde, the secret agent.
Have you seen.
I know you have seen it because we watched it yesterday. So Ann Margret, the famous actress, had a television Special in the 1970s where she pretended to join the Rockettes.
[00:33:49] Speaker B: Yes, Anne.
[00:33:51] Speaker A: And the opening scene was all of the then current Rockettes, the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes introducing themselves.
And they all have interesting names.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: They do.
[00:34:05] Speaker A: Like Jackie Fancy.
I think Judy Blonde Bloom. Judy Blonde would fit right in.
[00:34:10] Speaker B: Oh, hell, yes. Yes.
[00:34:13] Speaker A: And then at the end, Ann Margaret comes on and says. Ann Margaret Olsen, Janine Garachia Datello.
[00:34:21] Speaker B: There's some. There are a couple Italians.
[00:34:22] Speaker A: Terrific games. You can find it on Instagram, if you're interested.
Terrific.
All right, There it is in black and white on the front page of the New Englander newspaper, circulation 908.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: The headline of the Talk of the Town was the Talk of the Town.
[00:34:41] Speaker A: Local Girl Extry. Extra. Local girl Wins Most Efficient Secretary of the Year award. Ms. Judy Brown wins contest over thousands of entries to work as guest secretary for a day for millionaire freighter magnate. Extra.
[00:34:55] Speaker B: Extra.
[00:34:56] Speaker A: So you win the Most Efficient Secretary of the Year award and your prize is to work.
[00:35:05] Speaker B: Yes.
For a day.
[00:35:08] Speaker A: Well, the award makes all the local people beam with pride. All save one. There she goes, Judy's fiance.
What a time for you to win this award, Judy. Our wedding postponed. Where does she have to go?
Asia?
Well, she just took the train down and we could. Well, can't she arrange to go another day? If she's getting married, she's getting married on a weekend, which is not a work day, famously.
[00:35:39] Speaker B: I don't know. She's taking a bus.
[00:35:40] Speaker A: I'm angry again.
She should take a train.
[00:35:45] Speaker B: Just be open to this.
[00:35:46] Speaker A: What a time for you to win this award, Judy. Our wedding postponed and all those people planning a shower for you and a bachelor party for me.
[00:35:56] Speaker D: I know, Harold, but I entered the contest months ago, never dreaming I'd be chosen.
[00:36:02] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:36:02] Speaker D: Oh, the bus is leaving.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: Buh.
[00:36:04] Speaker A: Bye. My heart goes with you, darling. And I'll see you in a few days after all this foolishness is over.
[00:36:10] Speaker B: The Bus speeds southward into the pulsating city. Caroling Miss. Carrying Miss Judy Brown into the adventure she will never forget.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: Miss Brown, I recognize you from your contest photo.
I am Faraday, Mr. Russo's assistant. And now to my limousine. Oh, I'm just.
[00:36:30] Speaker D: I'm just so thrilled.
[00:36:31] Speaker A: Thank you for meeting me.
Well, soon they reach the Oriso building. Toodly, Oriso, darling. Until tonight.
[00:36:40] Speaker B: Until tonight, my sweeties. Adieu.
[00:36:42] Speaker A: He's got a couple of horse. They're hookers.
[00:36:45] Speaker B: They're hookers.
[00:36:46] Speaker A: Street walkers, as my mother would say.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: But Judy Brown says.
[00:36:50] Speaker D: Oh, dear. I feel out of place here with all these glamour girls. I'm just a plain Jane gal.
[00:36:56] Speaker A: That's okay, Judy, because you're here to work, not flirt with the boss.
All right, mister. He shows her to her desk and tells her Mr. Oriso will join her soon with the photographers.
[00:37:09] Speaker B: The photographers. And so there is. It is a press.
I don't know junket. Right.
Shortly after.
[00:37:17] Speaker D: Wow, she really makes those typing keys sing.
[00:37:20] Speaker A: Yeah, she's demonstrating her typing for the photographers.
And now, Ms. Brown, I want to. Oh, this must be Mr. Oriso. I want to present you this check for $1,000 as the most efficient secretary of the year. Please finish your workday.
[00:37:38] Speaker D: Oh, it's only a publicity stunt for him.
[00:37:40] Speaker B: But I'm going to earn a day's pay. A day's pay?
[00:37:42] Speaker A: A day's pay.
I Wish I made $1,000 a day.
That's $365,000 a year. I'd love that same girl.
All right. Throughout the day, Judy continues to display her competence. I would have taken that check and gone on lunch.
[00:38:01] Speaker B: You would have. I wouldn't. If I would have worked the full day just to see what I could discover, I would have been just like Judy Brown.
[00:38:07] Speaker D: Here are the freighter sailing schedules for next month. Copies of the shipping contracts.
[00:38:13] Speaker B: Yes, Ms. Brown. Thank you, Ms. Brown. You've demonstrated your ability quite well.
[00:38:17] Speaker A: Finally, as the day ends, Mr. Oriso's
[00:38:19] Speaker D: not really interested in my abilities at all. Well, everybody has left. But I simply wouldn't feel right leaving these shipping files unchecked.
[00:38:27] Speaker A: Well, I would, Judy. I guess that's where we differ.
[00:38:31] Speaker B: Right. Well, she says she's looking over her shipping files. Odd.
[00:38:35] Speaker D: The list weight for a safari mobile. A safari mobile is £3,500. So the 10 mobiles should be shipped should total £35,000.
[00:38:46] Speaker A: She could do math in her head.
[00:38:48] Speaker B: Right.
[00:38:48] Speaker D: Some. Some created bikes are listed, but they only had a few hundred pounds. Yet the total weight shipped shipment listed is £36,000. Almost £1000 more. Wow. Awfully queer.
[00:39:01] Speaker A: So she checks through the old files.
[00:39:03] Speaker D: Oh, it's been several times before in the past. Shipments. Seems to me like there's some sort of chicanery going on here. Oh, oh, and there's. There's nobody around for me to report this to. If only I was one of those glamorous female secret agents, I'd investigate this myself.
[00:39:17] Speaker A: No sooner does the thought flash through Judy's mind than a mysterious gift, gaseous mass, invisible to human eyes, enters the office. Spawned in the far reaches of outer space, it has drifted here to Earth to affect mankind in strange, bizarre ways. It is the Green Glob, and Judy is about to know its powers.
[00:39:38] Speaker B: What? What's happened? I've. I've become an exotic glamour girl with a man's voice.
The dream doll I wish to become. I'm another person. I'm not Judy Brown now. I'm Judy Blonde, a secret agent.
[00:39:52] Speaker A: Ooh.
[00:39:52] Speaker B: I don't know how or why this happened to me, but I'm certainly going to take full advantage of it. I'm off on my first assignment, the case of the overweight cargo.
[00:40:02] Speaker A: Now, listener, she's turned blonde. She's wearing a red evening dress.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: Her hair is piled up on top of her. An updo, 1960s style. And a fucking cape.
[00:40:13] Speaker A: A cape? Oh, not to mention the jewelry and Jewelry, evening gloves. A superhero cape, to be clear.
Also to be clear, she was brunette before.
[00:40:25] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. She's blonde now. And it's not a wig. She's blonde.
[00:40:27] Speaker A: She is blonde. This must be like a dial age for hero situation where she instantly knows her abilities and identity.
[00:40:34] Speaker B: Well, that can only explain what she's about to do.
[00:40:37] Speaker A: So the dream doll bounces into a cab, and a short time later at
[00:40:42] Speaker B: City Dock, I'm gonna switch back to the female voice. Hmm.
[00:40:46] Speaker D: Only two Safari mobiles are at dockside. The others must have been already loaded in the hold. And that's where I can do some private eye scooping. Snooping, rather.
[00:40:55] Speaker B: Judy's delegate did just dig into her purse.
[00:40:57] Speaker D: And then, as Secret Agent Judy Blonde, I've got a number of gimmicky devices
[00:41:02] Speaker B: to utilize, such as these. Jet shoe attachment, Listener. She fucking puts these attachments on her high heels and starts flying.
[00:41:14] Speaker A: Well, now, what's this? Is right out of James Bond jet shoes? Sure, why not?
[00:41:21] Speaker B: Because she quietly descends down upon a secret conversation while suspended in midair with her jet shoes. That's not gonna happen in real life. Air gets displaced pretty much.
[00:41:33] Speaker A: Really it's not gonna happen in real life.
Is a green glob gonna come in real life and turn into a secret agent?
[00:41:40] Speaker B: Maybe. You don't know.
You just wait till I find my ghost on a horse.
I'll talk to him or her all the time.
[00:41:49] Speaker A: Hey, did you ever have the Fisher Price Adventure People?
[00:41:53] Speaker B: Explain, please.
[00:41:54] Speaker A: Well, you know, Fisher Price figures.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: Yes, of course.
[00:41:57] Speaker A: Well, they had a line in the 70s.
[00:41:59] Speaker D: Famously.
[00:41:59] Speaker B: No legs or arms.
[00:42:00] Speaker A: Well, this line in the 70s did have legs and arms. They were regular little action figures. And they had all kinds of adventure. I had the safari set.
[00:42:07] Speaker B: Of course.
I had everything.
[00:42:09] Speaker A: No, I didn't. That was the only adventure people thing I had.
[00:42:12] Speaker B: You had a play castle.
[00:42:14] Speaker A: I still have it, as a matter of fact.
[00:42:16] Speaker B: Your third one in your life.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: Shut up.
[00:42:20] Speaker B: So, anyway, listener. She whooshes off.
[00:42:22] Speaker A: Anyway, listeners who enjoy toys, you'll know exactly what I.
[00:42:26] Speaker B: Listeners to us.
[00:42:28] Speaker A: The Fisher Price Adventure People Safari Set. Look it up. It had the mother. It was a mother and father and two kids. And they had a net where they could get animals and had a little enclosure you could set up, like a temporary fence. And it had a movie camera you could put over one of their shoulders to film the wildlife.
[00:42:49] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:42:49] Speaker A: It was. I'm gonna look for it on ebay as soon as we're done here.
Judy's in luck. The crew is at the rail watching the loading.
Now she can jet down into the cargo hold. Well, the crew is distracted. That's how she can jet down.
[00:43:04] Speaker B: She's so close to them.
[00:43:06] Speaker A: Look.
[00:43:06] Speaker D: She's even suspended in midair.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: It's in the loading dock. It's gotta be noisy in there. The men shouting and foreign accents and things.
[00:43:14] Speaker B: Blah, blah, blah.
Right? Worth its weight in gold.
[00:43:18] Speaker A: Secret cargo, safari mobile.
[00:43:20] Speaker B: Some cheap. Hey, ha.
[00:43:21] Speaker A: Blah, blah. And. And you see that she reduces the jet speed in order to land. To drift down behind a packing crate.
[00:43:28] Speaker D: They're on the wrong side. All right. So that's it. Gold is being smuggled out of the country in the safari mobiles. That accounts for the tremendous overweight.
[00:43:38] Speaker A: Maybe I can take these smugglers by surprise and put them out of action.
[00:43:42] Speaker B: Oh, she knocked over a hammer.
[00:43:44] Speaker A: She drops a hammer on the girl. What that? We got company. A gal snooper.
[00:43:49] Speaker B: Grab her.
[00:43:50] Speaker A: She must know about our operation.
[00:43:52] Speaker B: That doll's walking tnt.
[00:43:55] Speaker A: Luckily, she's got a handkerchief hypnotizer, which is soundless.
[00:44:03] Speaker B: Oh, I'm waving my handkerchief.
[00:44:10] Speaker A: I feel dizzy. Can't seem to move.
[00:44:12] Speaker B: You will buy me anything I want on Amazon.
You will buy Me a new bar set on Amazon.
[00:44:22] Speaker A: Maybe you should wait for your birthday next week and see exactly what you get.
[00:44:26] Speaker B: Listener. I secretly had gone before this episode and pulled a handkerchief out of the.
Out of the. Out of the bureau just for this gag.
[00:44:37] Speaker A: It's too bad this is not a visual medium. It would have landed a lot harder.
[00:44:43] Speaker B: It's funny.
[00:44:43] Speaker A: It's funny to me.
[00:44:44] Speaker D: I'm giving.
[00:44:45] Speaker B: I'm giving more than 10% to this little adventure we're on, aren't I?
[00:44:50] Speaker A: Look, I have a prop.
Judy's delicate hand flashes this handkerchief several times which freaking hypnotizes. Hypnotizes the thugs.
[00:45:02] Speaker B: Idiots.
[00:45:04] Speaker A: And you will remain asleep until I awaken you. Do you understand?
[00:45:09] Speaker B: Yes, ma'. Am.
[00:45:10] Speaker A: Then the woman of intrigue turns her attention to one of the vehicles and pulls out her lipstick blowtorch. You've got all kinds of props here. I do.
[00:45:21] Speaker D: I've got.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: I've got a Burt's Bees lip balm
[00:45:25] Speaker B: that I just brandished like a torch.
[00:45:28] Speaker D: My lipstick blowtorch. It's melting away the paint, revealing the gold fender. So that's how I'm gonna put some lipstick on here.
[00:45:36] Speaker B: That's how they're swinging it. It's lip balm. It's approach beast.
[00:45:39] Speaker A: Suddenly, Judy activates her jet heals. Heels away.
I've seen enough.
Time to call in the police. This job is getting too hazardous for little old me.
[00:45:53] Speaker B: And the unexpected happens. They drop a net on her.
[00:45:56] Speaker A: Oh, dear.
[00:45:57] Speaker D: Looks like the whole team has caught onto me. And Ferdy is with them.
[00:46:00] Speaker B: Who's Ferdy?
[00:46:01] Speaker A: He's the assistant to Mr. Osiris, or whatever his name was.
[00:46:06] Speaker D: He must be the mastermind behind this.
[00:46:08] Speaker A: See? I wasn't seeing things. That's the babe. The fluid of the hold. Let her have it, Joe.
[00:46:14] Speaker B: Suddenly, Judy plummets to the deck.
[00:46:16] Speaker A: Ha, ha.
[00:46:17] Speaker B: We sure clipped her wings with the cargo net.
[00:46:19] Speaker D: I'm down, but I'm not out, buster.
[00:46:23] Speaker A: I wonder what kind of feminine accoutrement she has in her purse. Now those.
It's a compact compact with gas, which the powder is not carcinogenic. Although probably that also.
Knockout gas. In her compact.
[00:46:41] Speaker B: I didn't have a compact. I could have grabbed one from my makeup kit. From my stage makeup kit. But I. I figured this would make you laugh. That's all I wanted to do.
[00:46:49] Speaker A: My grandmother, Mrs. White, had the most beautiful bejeweled compact. And it had a little makeup case attached right to it. A lipstick case attached right to it. I'm sure I was fascinated by it. She kept that in her doomy drawer.
[00:47:04] Speaker B: That just reminded me.
[00:47:05] Speaker A: What?
[00:47:06] Speaker B: Did I ever tell you when I was a child.
Sorry, I've got the hiccups when I would go visit my Grammy and Grampy in Miami. Yes, of course, they were Canadian. I don't know how. I mean, I know why they moved from Nova Scotia to Miami. But Grammy used to have in in her bureau a top drawer full of all sorts of fanciful silk scarves.
And she always. Whenever we get rambunctious or whatever, and we were through playing Parcheesi or Ruby Cube or whatever we'd play. She'd say, why don't you go play with the scarves?
And we would put the scarves on and like she let us play with all these wonderful, wonderful neon, beautiful scarves. See through scarves. And we would juggle them and run around the house with them and play with the scarves.
[00:47:53] Speaker A: Is that where you learned your dance of the seven veils?
[00:47:55] Speaker B: Yes, that's exactly where I learned my dance of the seven veils.
[00:47:58] Speaker A: Like Salome herself, I did not know
[00:48:00] Speaker B: I was a homosexual.
[00:48:02] Speaker D: My fascination with those scarves.
[00:48:04] Speaker A: Well, my fascination with a lipstick case.
Quid pro quo, Dr. Lecter.
All right. Judy manages to put all these miscreants in a trance.
[00:48:17] Speaker B: Right?
[00:48:18] Speaker A: Gulp. This is pretty dangerous work. I'm not sure I like being Judy Blonde. I'd better get on the show ship's phone and radio.
[00:48:25] Speaker B: Call the police after the police and oriso arrive on the scene. In response to Judy's call, these papers were found aboard.
[00:48:34] Speaker A: Proved the gang was smuggling gold and dumping it on the foreign market.
[00:48:38] Speaker B: I can't thank you enough for uncovering Ferdi's activities. A brilliant job, says the millionaire. Yes, I could use an efficient and beautiful girl like you and my organization. How would you like to be my private secretary?
[00:48:49] Speaker A: A rumph. He doesn't know it, but he already had the most efficient secretary When I was just plain Judy Brown.
But now he's impressed because my glamorous appearance just isn't fair.
[00:49:02] Speaker D: No, thanks, Mr. Oriso. I'll just remain myself.
[00:49:06] Speaker A: Good for you, Judy.
[00:49:07] Speaker B: Not a girl.
[00:49:08] Speaker A: Oh, dear. Though how can I be myself? I'm still this. This glamour girl. Judy Blonde. This is a disgusting thing. What am I going to do? If only I were my real self again. And back home with Harold.
[00:49:22] Speaker B: That instant, the instant Judy's wish flashes through her mind. Her handbag containing the shipping file glows brightly. And then once again, the green glob has acted in its mysterious way.
[00:49:36] Speaker A: And back in Judy's Hometown.
[00:49:40] Speaker B: Judy, where did you come from? How did you suddenly appear like this?
[00:49:43] Speaker A: I. I don't know, Harold, but I'm home and myself again.
Let's make wedding plans right away, darling.
[00:49:51] Speaker B: Wedding plans that they did.
[00:49:54] Speaker A: That they already had the wedding plan, so they gotta change it all now because there were showers planned at a wedding and it all had to. Well, hey, or when she won that prize. Don't worry, she has to leave her job when she gets married anyway.
[00:50:04] Speaker B: And so the green glob drifts on over the earth, seeking, ever seeking those to cast its fantastic powers on.
[00:50:14] Speaker A: This is just like the third act of the Broadway musical the Apple Tree, Passionella, where she becomes a glamour girl, but then discovers that she doesn't like it. She wants to go back and be plain old Cinderella.
[00:50:28] Speaker B: Passion.
[00:50:29] Speaker A: Well, Dustella. I don't remember her.
[00:50:31] Speaker B: Is she Cinderella first and then she comes? Passionella.
[00:50:34] Speaker A: No, she's.
She's plain Jane at first and then she becomes Passionella and then the other boy becomes Glitter Rock or whatever his name was, but then he also wants to be playing and it all ends happily. It's a happy ending.
[00:50:49] Speaker B: That was such a lovely little show.
[00:50:50] Speaker A: It was.
[00:50:51] Speaker B: Well, not really.
[00:50:52] Speaker A: The first time we did it. The first time we did it, it's very dated.
[00:50:56] Speaker B: Very dated.
[00:50:57] Speaker A: But if you.
[00:50:59] Speaker B: The second time we did it, they
[00:51:00] Speaker A: did kids, the children didn't want it. I mean, good for them that they're socially aware.
[00:51:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:51:07] Speaker A: But you have to very definitely set it in the time that it was.
[00:51:13] Speaker B: Oh, 100%. You cannot set it in modern day. No.
[00:51:17] Speaker A: But the apple tree, that's where Alan Alda got his start.
[00:51:21] Speaker B: The first story of Adam and Eve.
[00:51:22] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:51:23] Speaker B: Beautiful.
[00:51:24] Speaker A: It is. It's based on a Mark Twain novel novella, the Diary. Diary of Adam and Eve.
[00:51:28] Speaker B: Adam and Eve. Yeah.
[00:51:29] Speaker A: We're giving you so much information to Google. Listener. I'm so sorry.
[00:51:35] Speaker B: Let me just hypnotize the listener. Listener. I'm waving my handkerchief around. You will look up the Diary of Adam and Eve by Mark Twain.
[00:51:44] Speaker A: You will listen to the soundtrack of the Apple Tree.
[00:51:48] Speaker B: You will stop the next blue Chevy Chevette Citation that you see and look for the ghost of Gene.
[00:51:55] Speaker A: You will follow us on social media at GoGoCheckPod.
You will rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You will listen to our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra, and you will find us right back here next week with Blackhawk.
Really? Yes.
[00:52:20] Speaker B: Oh, I love it.
[00:52:21] Speaker A: Don't get so excited because remember, they're superheroes now.
[00:52:24] Speaker B: Oh, shit.
[00:52:27] Speaker A: Bye.
[00:52:29] Speaker C: Politician. You can change it all with a senate disposition. So be heavy and spread it all around.
If you find yourself a frowning.
Just turn it upside down.
When you wear a smile the world will shout Hooray.
You gotta turn on the sunshine.
You gotta give in one time.
You gotta turn on the sunshine.
Push those blues away.
Man, this dialectic's too much.
