Fiends and Lovers (Wonder Woman 169)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, let's go. [00:00:04] Speaker A: You know what to do. [00:00:05] Speaker B: The whole world's watching and counting on you. [00:00:08] Speaker A: And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, A loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and in August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Wonder Woman 169. Cover date April 1967 cover price $0.12. Cover artists Ross, Andrew and Mike Esposito. Edited by Robert Kaniger. Featuring Wonder Woman battles the Crimson Centipede, written by Robert Kanagher. Art by Ross Andrew and Michael Esposito. And the Cage of Doom, written by Robert Kanagher. Art by Ross Andrew and Mike Esposito. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:09] Speaker C: If you're walking in the shadows Then it's time that you got wise? I just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes. When you wear a smile? The world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine? You're gonna flush the blues away. [00:01:37] Speaker B: In a dispute between Mars and Aphrodite, Mars creates an agent called the Crimson Centipede to battle Aphrodite's agent, Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman is unable to beat her opponent to during their first two encounters. Then Steve Trevor and General Darnell argue over the affections of Wonder Woman. Steve acts conceited. So the Amazon decides to accept Darnell's offer for a date. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with Dr. Husband to explain everything. A centipede A centipede crawler 100 legs A havin em ball A centipede a have your filet in a cut out a thousand ways. Well, like a long lean lizard gonna Dr. But like a dog I'm gonna shake a man to shag. Like a cat you let out of the bag Gonna leave you one of these days. And like a centipede I'm gonna put out a thousand ways. Hi. [00:02:35] Speaker A: Hi. [00:02:36] Speaker B: What's new? [00:02:38] Speaker A: Gosh, I don't know. What is new? Not much. [00:02:42] Speaker B: You've got a cat on your recording surface there. [00:02:46] Speaker A: Yes, he normally is like in my lap. And you admonish me to put him down. [00:02:50] Speaker B: Well, it' knock the mic around with your elbow. [00:02:53] Speaker A: He seems to be very content just to be sitting right on the table. [00:02:57] Speaker B: Well, he'd better not move from that spot. [00:02:59] Speaker A: Yes. He's got his eyes closed, he's purring. He's so happy. [00:03:03] Speaker B: Well, if also doesn't bleed through, he can purr all he wants. [00:03:08] Speaker A: How are you? [00:03:09] Speaker B: I'm angry. [00:03:10] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:03:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:12] Speaker A: Why? [00:03:12] Speaker B: Because it's March and there is fresh snow on the ground and I don't live in Schenectady, New York or the North Pole. I live in mid central Atlantic region. And there are supposed to be blooming flowers and manure from the fields that's been out. [00:03:32] Speaker A: I was walking and running this weekend. Oh, damn it. I didn't mean to say that I was running. Need a text about that? I was out this weekend and they spread the manure in the fields all around us. It's very sweet in the air. Sweet is not the word I would use to describe it, but yes. And I'll have you know that when I was out walking, I noticed in people's flower beds that there are green. There is greenery pushing up through the ground. [00:04:02] Speaker B: Well, it's all going to die tonight because there's an ice storm on the way. [00:04:04] Speaker A: That reminds me, I've got to get our lawnmower into the place to get it serviced before the lawn starts growing. [00:04:11] Speaker B: Yes. You're going to have that man come out and pick it up. Well, I don't know his name, but he's quite handsome. He cuts a fine figure when he comes to pick up our lawnmower. [00:04:24] Speaker A: Yes. And I want to have him take the push mower this year too because it needs to be just serviced, you know. [00:04:30] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:31] Speaker A: So anyway, yeah, remind me to do that tomorrow because I've got to beat the rush before people start sending in their equipment. [00:04:36] Speaker B: I know. Well, they won't be sending it in during an ice storm, I can tell you that. [00:04:40] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. [00:04:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't have anything new either. No, no. I'm trying a new recipe tonight. I hope you like it. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sure I will. You're so kind and generous with your recipes. [00:04:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:52] Speaker A: So, yeah, I mean, I try to think just sort of recovering from the musical being over. [00:04:56] Speaker B: Yes. [00:04:57] Speaker A: And having my evenings free again. I've started playing guitar again and reading comics. And reading comics. And I started reading a book again today for pleasure. It's work related, but it's pretty interesting. [00:05:09] Speaker B: So not for pleasure. [00:05:11] Speaker A: I like it. Oh, and I'm reading for pleasure. I'm reading Project Hail Mary again. Second time. [00:05:17] Speaker B: Soon to be a major motion picture. [00:05:18] Speaker A: Right. I'm reading it to prepare for the movie. Just to refresh. Refresh my memory. I do. I loved that book so much and [00:05:26] Speaker B: was pretty good book. [00:05:27] Speaker A: So excited to hear it was being made into a movie. Did you know when it was Andy Weir who wrote that book? Yeah, when he wrote the book. He had Ryan Gosling in mind when he. When he wrote the book. What? [00:05:37] Speaker B: Why? It's Ryan Gosling himself starring in the movie. [00:05:40] Speaker A: He had him in mind as the character to play that. [00:05:42] Speaker B: Yeah, well, yeah, imagine that. I wonder if that goes into casting negotiations, if he has any say in it. [00:05:50] Speaker A: I don't know. But he absolutely had him in mind when he wrote it. He was hoping it would be into movie. [00:05:56] Speaker B: Because if that's the case, I'm gonna start writing novels with particular actors in mind. See what I can do about it. [00:06:04] Speaker A: Okay. All right. [00:06:07] Speaker B: Well, we're here today with Wonder Woman. If Wonder Woman was made into a movie in 1945, who would you cast as Wonder Woman? [00:06:22] Speaker A: Wonder woman, yeah. 1945. Let me think about this. This for a second. [00:06:32] Speaker B: Well, [00:06:35] Speaker A: I can't think of her name right now. Greer Garson. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Greer Garson as Wonder Woman? [00:06:40] Speaker A: Well, definitely not Joan Crawford. [00:06:42] Speaker B: No, not Joan Crawford. I love Greer Garson. But I think she'd be a better hippolyta. [00:06:47] Speaker A: You're right. She would be a better hippolyta. Oh, of course. The tap dancer. What's your face? [00:06:52] Speaker B: Ann Miller. [00:06:53] Speaker A: Ann Miller. And Miller. [00:06:54] Speaker B: Yes. He can pull it off. [00:06:55] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:06:56] Speaker B: I was gonna say Paulette Goddard. [00:06:57] Speaker A: I don't remember what she was in. [00:06:59] Speaker B: She's in the women and she goes to the ranch. She's the young gal. Young sassy gal. [00:07:05] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:07:06] Speaker B: Gets in a fight with Rosalind Russell. [00:07:09] Speaker A: Muriel. What's her character's name? [00:07:14] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:07:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:15] Speaker B: And I'm not even sure I'm thinking of the right person. Hold one. [00:07:21] Speaker A: She's the one who. Who gets to fight with Rosalind Russell because she. [00:07:25] Speaker B: Because she's sleeping with Rosalind Russell's husband. [00:07:27] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. [00:07:29] Speaker B: I don't think that's at all who I was thinking of. I'm gonna have to look up the women now. Wait. Yes, it is. Yes. Paulette Goddard. That's exactly who I'm thinking. [00:07:41] Speaker A: She is a great. She'd make a great Wonder Woman. [00:07:44] Speaker B: If Wonder Woman was made maybe five years earlier, we could probably use Rosalind Russell. Except it'd have to be a comedy. [00:07:51] Speaker A: It'd have to be a comedy. [00:07:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Rosalind Russell is not a good dramatic actress. [00:07:55] Speaker B: You know who else would be a [00:07:56] Speaker A: good Hippolyta better than Greer Garson. [00:07:59] Speaker B: No one's better than Greer Garson. No, but who could do it? Nora Mashear. But she wouldn't do it because she'd have to play older. Yeah, yeah. [00:08:09] Speaker A: Norma Shearer. [00:08:10] Speaker B: Oh, she's older. [00:08:11] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, kittens. [00:08:13] Speaker B: Joan Crawford. Could be Cheetah. I'm not joking. [00:08:17] Speaker A: Yes, yes. But they wouldn't do these movies back then. [00:08:22] Speaker B: I don't. They might have done it as a serial. [00:08:25] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:26] Speaker B: They did Superman and Batman serials. [00:08:28] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:28] Speaker B: Black Hawk and Spy Smasher, Congo Bill and all. [00:08:32] Speaker A: All those. [00:08:33] Speaker B: Shazam. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Really? [00:08:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:36] Speaker A: Spy Smasher. Oh, that's not what I thought you said. [00:08:39] Speaker B: What? [00:08:40] Speaker A: Spice Masher. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Oh, wow. That was a short lived golden age hero. He mashed spices and threw it in the eyes of enemies. Who could play Steve Trevor? [00:08:57] Speaker A: Oh, in the 1945. Yeah. Johnny Weissmuller. [00:09:03] Speaker B: You couldn't act it, but no Gary Cooper. Oh, he'd be a little old for Steve Trevor in 1945. But what about William Holden? [00:09:14] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:09:17] Speaker B: All right, all right. Chatgpt. You're gonna be busy tomorrow, [00:09:24] Speaker A: is it? [00:09:26] Speaker B: Yeah, so I'm gonna have to make up movie posters for Wonder Woman 1945. [00:09:29] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Cool. [00:09:30] Speaker B: Starring Paulette Goddard and Kate. Gary Cooper or William Holden? Cat, you can't be up here. [00:09:37] Speaker A: He wants to be with you. [00:09:39] Speaker B: Well, he's gonna have to be with me later. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:41] Speaker B: Goes around running all night. He could stay home one night and spend the whole night with me instead [00:09:47] Speaker A: of going to Barton Cottage and hanging [00:09:48] Speaker B: out with the Dashwoods across the road. Hey, Rob the Amazon. Yes, that'd be. Wonder Woman is blitzed by the most unique villain ever created who starts a new golden age of villainy. [00:10:03] Speaker A: The Crimson Centipede. [00:10:10] Speaker B: Never seen again. So he didn't exactly start a new golden age. [00:10:13] Speaker A: Oh, he didn't. [00:10:14] Speaker B: A villain also, I cannot get the image of the film the Human Centipede out of my head, which is a film I've never seen and never will. [00:10:25] Speaker A: Never will. [00:10:25] Speaker B: I've seen enough and know what it's about. [00:10:27] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:28] Speaker B: That's all I could think about through this entire issue. [00:10:31] Speaker A: Same girl, same. I've never seen the movie, nor will I. [00:10:36] Speaker B: Nor will I ever. [00:10:37] Speaker A: I have no desire to. Nope, I will not. I mean, I'll watch a horror movie, but I will not venture into the grotesque. [00:10:43] Speaker B: No. Unless it's like Todd Browning freaks or something like that. [00:10:48] Speaker A: I'll watch that. [00:10:50] Speaker B: Beautiful as Aphrodite, wise as Athena, stronger than Hercules and swifter than Mercury, Wonder Woman nevertheless seems to have met her Match in the most fantastic threat a vengeful God has hurled at her. In the startling adventure, Wonder Woman battles the Crimson Centipede. [00:11:09] Speaker A: Centipede. In the misty regions in the skies. Aphrodite, patron goddess of the Amazons, and Mars, God of war, have their eternal debate. Despite all the wars your men of evil are waging. Mar mighty Mars. There is no one equal to my Wonder Woman in combating crime and injustice. [00:11:30] Speaker B: Wait until you see my latest creation, the Crimson Centipede. Beautiful Aphrodite. He will utterly destroy your Amazon. With all the powers I have given him. [00:11:43] Speaker A: I bet you regret doing that voice. [00:11:44] Speaker B: I sure will. And on man's world later, unaware of Mars creation that she is to face, Wonder Woman is in her secret identity of Diana Prince. [00:11:58] Speaker A: How about a lift home, Diana? [00:11:59] Speaker D: I'd love it, Steve. [00:12:01] Speaker A: As they pass the global bank, minutes later, kapow. [00:12:04] Speaker B: Pow. [00:12:04] Speaker A: Pow. [00:12:04] Speaker B: Shots coming from the bank. There must be a hold up going on. [00:12:08] Speaker D: Suffering Sappho. How could I change into Wonder Woman with Steve around? [00:12:13] Speaker B: Well, that's what you get Diana, for accepting a ride from creepy old Steve. Steve, suddenly from the bank appears a fantastic figure. Mars, Challenger of the Amazon. [00:12:29] Speaker A: It's the Crimson synthetic speed. [00:12:31] Speaker B: He's got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 sets of arms. 3, 4, 5, 6,. [00:12:40] Speaker A: 8 sets of legs. [00:12:41] Speaker B: Now only 7 sets of legs and 7 butts. He's stealing bags and bags of money from the global bank. Of course, brave Steve leaps from the jeep to stop the robbery. And is immediately punched out by those eight pairs of fists. [00:13:04] Speaker A: Poor Steve. Fists first thinks later thinks second. [00:13:08] Speaker B: Well, he did his best. But that gives Diana a chance to change into Wonder Woman. [00:13:13] Speaker A: She does this interesting thing where she just runs super fast and she changes into Wonder Woman. [00:13:17] Speaker B: This is before the spinning. Spinning? Spinning wasn't a comics thing. In the comics, she took her lasso and spun it down around herself. And that magically changed her clothes. Oh, later in the 70s, not now. She just. I guess she's doing like a Clark Kent, Christopher Reeve super speed through the phone booth kind of thing. [00:13:41] Speaker A: I know. [00:13:42] Speaker B: It wasn't a phone booth, was it? It was revolving door. [00:13:44] Speaker A: Mm. [00:13:46] Speaker B: Cause in the 70s, they didn't have actual phone booths anymore. [00:13:51] Speaker A: Sure they did. [00:13:52] Speaker B: Well, in Superman, the movie, that was one of the gags, right? That he wanted to change in a phone booth and it was just like a stand, right? Wasn't no place to change, right? The mighty Amazon hurls herself against the strange apparition and, well, it says the hundred fists, but there's only 16 fists. He beats like a tattoo against Wonder Woman. They must mean, like, a military tattoo. Like in Scotland. [00:14:26] Speaker A: Yes. [00:14:27] Speaker B: Nova Scotia. [00:14:28] Speaker A: Nova Scotia. The one we saw. [00:14:30] Speaker B: I'd sure like to see the one in Edinburgh. [00:14:32] Speaker A: Wouldn't you? [00:14:33] Speaker B: Yes. I just literally just said that. [00:14:35] Speaker A: No, I mean, like, I'm just reiterating, like. Yes, I, too, would really love to see it in Edinburgh. [00:14:42] Speaker B: Someday. [00:14:42] Speaker A: Someday. [00:14:45] Speaker B: Sent sprawling, Wonder Woman whips out her lasso and tries to lasso this be armed gentleman. But he knocks it away as easily as if he were brushing away his coat. And the next moment, with eye blurring speed. [00:15:04] Speaker A: Speaking of eye blurring, I need to get my other glasses out. I have got to get these glasses. The prescription. You know when I got my last eye exam. [00:15:15] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:16] Speaker A: I had the prescription. I didn't update the prescription of my glasses and my trifocals. [00:15:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Instead, I got contacts. [00:15:24] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:24] Speaker A: Which I hate wearing. [00:15:25] Speaker B: Okay. [00:15:27] Speaker A: So I'm wearing my contacts all year long. [00:15:29] Speaker B: Yep. [00:15:32] Speaker A: But I really. I wear them, and then I just. Anyway, I need to get my trifocals updated. [00:15:38] Speaker B: You hate wearing them. That you've committed to a year of service. [00:15:42] Speaker A: I'm halfway through. Just because I'm not one to waste money. [00:15:46] Speaker B: My. Ah, trust me, I know. Oh, listener. He'll squeeze a nickel till the buffalo shits in his hand shits a dime. [00:15:54] Speaker A: Isn't that how you say it? [00:15:55] Speaker B: Mm, that's not how I recall. [00:15:58] Speaker A: I thought it was squeeze a nickel to the buffalo shits a dime. [00:16:02] Speaker B: Well, agree to disagree. The Crimson Centipede, as it turns out, can use his. [00:16:09] Speaker A: I waste money. [00:16:12] Speaker B: You know I do as well. [00:16:14] Speaker A: I have a freaking motorcycle downstairs that I don't need. [00:16:17] Speaker B: Yes, but you scrimped and saved. Plus, the motorcycle was a steal. Oh, I saw Joyce in the grocery. By the way, she gets her love. Oh, he bought a motorcycle from Joyce's husband? [00:16:26] Speaker A: Yes. I thought I was done with motorcycles, listeners. I promise you. I really did. [00:16:30] Speaker B: I did. [00:16:30] Speaker A: I sold my last motorcycle and used the money to help pay for my guitar that I got in Ireland. Right. [00:16:34] Speaker B: Yes. [00:16:34] Speaker A: I did all those funerals and all those weddings and saved money, so I thought I was done. But then George was. He just kidnight couldn't ride anymore. And he brought me over and showed me that motorcycle, and he sold it to me for a ridiculously good price. And I was like, I can't pass this up. I guess I'm getting a motorcycle. And I put some work into it, and it's. Oh, my God, is it gorgeous? [00:16:56] Speaker B: They also, she recently came into a Big guitar amp she wants to give away to you or to the skule? [00:17:02] Speaker A: I'll take it. [00:17:03] Speaker B: Okay, well, call her up cause. [00:17:05] Speaker A: Okay. [00:17:06] Speaker B: She's gonna have us to dinner soon. [00:17:08] Speaker A: Oh, how nice. [00:17:09] Speaker B: George and Joyce are my cousins in laws. Yes, they live right down the road. [00:17:13] Speaker A: So they're lovely people. [00:17:14] Speaker B: They are delights. [00:17:16] Speaker A: Love them. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Anywho, the Crimson Centipede apparently is as fast as Mercury because he races off leaving a trail of dust. From their observation post in the misty skies, the goddess and God, Aphrodite and Mars look on. Well, Aphrodite, it looks as if Wonder Woman has finally met her match. Look what my Crimson Centipede did to her on their very first encounter. That was Mars. I can't do the voice again. [00:17:47] Speaker A: Wonder Woman was taken by surprise. Wait till next time they meet Mars. [00:17:54] Speaker B: By the time Steve comes to. Now this is interesting. I just remembered this. [00:18:00] Speaker A: What? [00:18:00] Speaker B: Aphrodite is the Greek name, but Mars [00:18:05] Speaker A: is the Roman name. What's the Greek name for Mars? [00:18:10] Speaker B: Ares. Wow. Yeah. [00:18:14] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:18:17] Speaker B: I wonder why they did that. [00:18:18] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:18:19] Speaker B: Minerva would be Aphrodite. No, Aphrodite is a goddess of love, right? [00:18:24] Speaker A: Yes. [00:18:25] Speaker B: So that would be Venus. Yes. [00:18:28] Speaker A: Wait, no, Venus is Greek, not Roman. [00:18:30] Speaker B: No. [00:18:31] Speaker A: Are you sure? [00:18:32] Speaker B: Yes, I'm sure. [00:18:33] Speaker A: You know, you took a Hulk. You love Roman history. [00:18:39] Speaker B: Well, I've also been reading comic books my entire life, so that's actually how I know that bit of information. [00:18:47] Speaker A: That's actually how I fucking know. That's the first curse word I've said all day. [00:18:53] Speaker B: Well, congratulations. Welcome to the club. All right. Steve comes to on the hard, hard pavement. And Wonder Woman is nursing him. [00:19:05] Speaker A: Why won't she marry him? [00:19:06] Speaker B: Because she's got to eliminate all crime before she can. Because it's the 60s and he would make her give up her career. Oh, yeah, if she got married. [00:19:13] Speaker A: He's not doing that. [00:19:14] Speaker B: No, not for him for sure. He's so close, kitten. [00:19:20] Speaker A: So affectionate. He just wants to. [00:19:22] Speaker B: Meanwhile. [00:19:24] Speaker A: Okay, all right, all right. Back in the game. [00:19:25] Speaker B: The population of the city has turned against Wonder Woman. [00:19:29] Speaker A: So fickle, aren't they? [00:19:30] Speaker B: Wonder Woman sure got beat. I'm not betting. Who's gonna win next time? Well, everyone's waiting to see what's gonna happen the next time she meets the Crimson Centipede. And so is Wonder Woman. Suddenly, alarm bells ring from a high window. It's a burglar alarm. It may be an ordinary hold up. And then again, it may be the Crimson Centipede. And indeed it is. [00:19:55] Speaker D: He's climbing up his building. Part of the building. [00:19:59] Speaker B: All right. She uses her lasso to swing upwards [00:20:02] Speaker A: because she can't fly in this time. [00:20:04] Speaker B: No, she can glide on wind currents. She can't fly. She gets near the crimson centipede, but he kicks her away with his 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Yep, still seven pairs of legs. [00:20:18] Speaker A: Why do you keep recounting that? [00:20:19] Speaker B: Because I want to make sure they don't change it in between pants. [00:20:21] Speaker A: And I don't think he has seven buttholes. [00:20:24] Speaker B: I didn't say he had seven buttholes, but he definitely has seven butts. [00:20:27] Speaker A: Oh, I see. [00:20:28] Speaker B: Because they're drawn. [00:20:29] Speaker A: I see. Yes. I just remember just thinking about, like, our co worker, colleague, and friend who listens to our podcast drives often. When she drives to work and she knock on the door next to me and she'll say, I listen to your podcast and she'll comment on it. I cannot wait for her to say, seven buttholes, Rob. Seven buttholes. [00:20:57] Speaker B: He probably just like the human centipede. He probably just has one butthole, but one really long tube goes all the way through all those. [00:21:04] Speaker A: Yes, he definitely does. One long. Oh, my God. [00:21:08] Speaker B: What? [00:21:09] Speaker A: I didn't even tell you about my morning. [00:21:11] Speaker B: Oh, here we go. Go on. [00:21:13] Speaker A: Oh, no, let's not talk about it. It'll irritate the listener. Of course it'll irritate the listener. So of course I'm gonna tell you all about my morning. Well, I woke up early this morning, an hour before I needed to, and thank God I was able to go back to sleep. I did wake up in the middle of the night like I normally do, but I was able to go right back to sleep. So I had two things to take care of this morning. One was to pay our personal property taxes for Berkeley county, which enrages me almost as much as this comic listener. [00:21:45] Speaker B: In West Virginia, where we live, you have to pay personal property tax on things like your cars, any original vehicles, your pets. Did you get dog licenses? Okay, I won't tell. Yes, you did. [00:21:58] Speaker A: You don't have to be in the same place. [00:22:00] Speaker B: It's right out in the hall. You go out in the hall, the next room over, it's fine. You did it. [00:22:06] Speaker A: Wink, wink, wink, wink. All right, but. Okay, so, listener, listen. So every summer at the beginning of the fiscal year. Right. At the end of June, beginning of July, yes. We get in the mail a statement for paying Berkeley County Fire and Rescue, like the ambulance and fire. Right. Water. The water board. Now, we personally draw our water from the well, but it Goes to protect the water sources all around us. Right. [00:22:30] Speaker B: That's important. [00:22:31] Speaker A: Fire and ambulance and the sheriff's department, I think is what, like three of them? Right. We pay our property taxes through our mortgage payment company. So the last thing is personal property taxes, which do not get mailed to us. [00:22:47] Speaker B: Now, listener, I want to assure you that I went two years ago to pay the personal property tax because you have to pay it to renew your car registration. [00:22:58] Speaker A: Right. That's how they get you. If you don't pay it, you don't get to renew your card registration. So listener, it doesn't get mailed to your house. You have to air quotes. Remember to go to the Berkeley County Courthouse sometime between July and October every year and pay your personal property taxes now. Or unless their system is working where they mail it to you. And it's. It's supposed to be pre filled out. [00:23:27] Speaker B: Yes. [00:23:28] Speaker A: But it isn't. [00:23:29] Speaker B: Yes. [00:23:30] Speaker A: And you have. You got to turn it around in a couple of months and write a check for those personal property taxes. If you don't pay them, if you don't remember that, oh, it's July, I need to pay my personal property taxes on my car and my motorcycle, whatever. If you have a boat, Right. [00:23:43] Speaker B: Yes. [00:23:43] Speaker A: If you don't remember, you get a 9% annual fee in interest on the taxes that you were to pay assessed to you. Right. So here's what happened. I need to renew my motorcycle registration. [00:23:58] Speaker B: Yes. [00:23:59] Speaker A: I have to show proof of personal property tax payments. [00:24:02] Speaker B: Yes. [00:24:02] Speaker A: I don't have that proof because. [00:24:06] Speaker B: Because we didn't pay it. Now listen, I went two years ago and paid all the personal property tax in arrears for three years and filled out the special form to ensure that they would mail us an invoice in July. And they didn't. [00:24:22] Speaker A: They didn't. So I ended up paying this morning. I thought I was gonna go ahead and pay maybe $600. Yeah, right, sure. $1,111.76 in personal property taxes plus 9%. Well, I mean, that included. I'm sorry, that included the personal property taxes plus 9% for penalty for two years and then 9% for one year for last year. [00:24:50] Speaker B: Now, you can pay online, listener. You can, but this website was designed in 1996 and has not been updated since. And you can only pay online. [00:25:01] Speaker A: You can't pay back between July 1 and October 1. [00:25:04] Speaker B: Yes. You can't go back and pay the back years online. [00:25:06] Speaker A: You cannot. And you have to know, you have to freaking intuit what your taxes are. It is not it is so like. It is literally like the website looks like it was designed in 1996. I swear to God. Like the big, bright font on a white background with shadow, just. [00:25:26] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Font. [00:25:28] Speaker A: Unbelievable. And what enrages me is that we are the. There are 54 counties in the state of West Virginia. [00:25:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:25:36] Speaker A: And the two that are growing the most rapidly are Jefferson and Berkeley counties. Yes. There is property everywhere. We have the resources to have someone develop a system to pay all these different things. The sheriff's office, the fire and ambulance, the water commission, they all have the ability to send you up to date specific invoices for your address or with a deadline with, like, pay by this date and incur no fees. Why it is that the personal property taxes can't be paid that way is beyond me. And the fact that we paid well over $200 in penalty fees just makes me so upset. So that's what I did this morning. And then I went and had a pulmonary function exam at the hospital, which was. I'm fine. I'm fine. I've seen the results already. For the last two years, I've been getting these, like, colds. Right. And I get this really, really nagging, nagging, nagging cough that lasts for six to eight weeks after that. Yeah. So at the advice of my doctor, when I talked to her about it, I got a pulmonary scan just to make sure that I don't have any sort of damage from COVID or anything like that. [00:26:49] Speaker B: Sure. [00:26:50] Speaker A: I'm fine. But, like, that was my morning. [00:26:54] Speaker B: One more question I have for you. [00:26:56] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:57] Speaker B: Did they have. [00:26:59] Speaker A: Go ahead, go ahead. [00:27:00] Speaker B: Did they have any of the records digitized, or was it still like, the [00:27:03] Speaker A: rolling filing she freaking looked up? Okay. So they could look and see what vehicles we own. [00:27:10] Speaker B: Yes. [00:27:11] Speaker A: But then she had to look up their Kelley Blue Book value in a book that she had from Iraq on her desk. [00:27:18] Speaker B: Yes. And then were the files. When I went the files, they had these, like, Lexaphone filing cabinets that had rolling drawers that popped out. [00:27:29] Speaker A: They didn't do that. But, like, she literally had to look up this year's value for certain things. And I said, you have the value. She said, can you review that, make sure it's correct? And I said, you have the year wrong for a motorcycle. It was 1999. I said, It's a 1990. I said, it's old, like me. [00:27:44] Speaker B: Good one. [00:27:44] Speaker A: Right, right. [00:27:45] Speaker B: Did she laugh? [00:27:45] Speaker A: She did, because I was very apologetic. You know, of course I'm not gonna yell at them. You know. [00:27:50] Speaker B: No. [00:27:51] Speaker A: And I was very apologetic and I said, can you give me whatever documents I need so that when this comes in the mail, which it's not, but when it comes into the mail, I have exactly what I have and I know exactly what I need to do to fill it out quickly. And she said, sure. And I labeled it and I put it in. I have files. I have files. Sure you do. They're labeled that. Say, this is your property taxes. These are the motorcycle. This is the motorcycle title. [00:28:17] Speaker D: These are. [00:28:17] Speaker A: This is the title for the cards. I have all of this. Oh. So I have everything now. And you. Good for you. Put on our personal shared calendar, July 1. Look for personal property tax information. So if we don't get it in the mail, I will go down there and pay it. July 1st. [00:28:35] Speaker B: July 1st. You can pay it online. [00:28:38] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:28:39] Speaker B: Well, that's all we have time for this week. [00:28:41] Speaker A: Yes. I just thought I'd share with you my morning rage. I was so, so, so angry because of that $1,100 that I paid. A couple hundred dollars and change was from fees from this stupid, antiquated, stupid system. [00:29:02] Speaker B: You think you're enraged? What about Wonder Woman, who just got kicked off the side of a building? She's plummeting towards the street. She frantically grabs at the side of a building with her precious fingernails. [00:29:18] Speaker A: She hangs on, though. [00:29:20] Speaker B: She hangs on. My question immediately was, why didn't she summon her robot plane to catch her? [00:29:26] Speaker A: I don't think it would happen. [00:29:27] Speaker B: No, actually you're right, because it will [00:29:30] Speaker A: come here in a minute. Is it this story or the next story which flings the helicopter around and the centrifugal force surely would have killed the people inside the helicopter. But we'll get to that. [00:29:43] Speaker B: Desperately, the battered Amazon halts her headlong fall by frantically holding onto a brick and declares that the crimson centipede is the mightiest threat she's ever faced. Really? Yeah. No. [00:29:56] Speaker A: No. [00:29:58] Speaker B: In the skies, the patron goddess of the Amazons watches with anguish as Mars chortles. [00:30:06] Speaker A: Mars, Crimson centipede has made a monkey of won [00:30:13] Speaker B: hurt her. [00:30:14] Speaker D: But she hasn't given up yet. She is an Amazon. [00:30:17] Speaker A: Laboriously, like listening to me recount my morning story laboriously, Wonder Woman climbs down also. [00:30:25] Speaker B: Why does she have to laboriously climb down? Girl can't just jump, right? [00:30:29] Speaker A: Right? Yes. [00:30:31] Speaker B: Oh, remember that episode of Bionic Woman when she got attacked by the fembots and she had to jump out of like a 10 story building and she landed and her legs exploded? That was the end of the part one of two Part episode. Oh, that was a. I've never forgotten that as long as I live. Also, happy 50th anniversary to the Bionic Woman. To those who celebrate. [00:30:54] Speaker A: I love you. I love you so much. [00:30:56] Speaker B: I love you too. But the downcast people on the street are not too naysayers. [00:31:06] Speaker D: Wonder Woman has met her match. [00:31:07] Speaker A: She hasn't a chance against the Crimson Centipede. [00:31:10] Speaker B: He'll be kingpin of crime and she won't be able to stop. [00:31:15] Speaker A: Meanwhile, as an hold up, hold up [00:31:18] Speaker B: because Steve is driving Wonder Woman away and they are in front of a florist, haberdashery, a hat shop and florists. Do they just make hats with flowers on it? [00:31:33] Speaker A: Those are two completely different industries. [00:31:36] Speaker B: Do they call it a haberdashery if it's women's hats or only if it's men's hats? [00:31:42] Speaker A: I have no idea. [00:31:44] Speaker B: Because if it's a weird hat. [00:31:45] Speaker A: God, I wish we still wore hats. [00:31:47] Speaker B: You can wear a hat anytime you want. No one is stopping you. [00:31:50] Speaker A: You know what I mean? Like always, even this summer. I wish we wore hats. [00:31:54] Speaker B: You know what I wish? [00:31:55] Speaker A: I love hats. [00:31:56] Speaker B: Remember when we were in Avignon and one block away from our Airbnb was the oldest haberdashery in all of France. And we didn't even go. We were too busy stuffing our faces with food. [00:32:11] Speaker A: What was that was. I mean, it was excellent that, that Airbnb we had. [00:32:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:16] Speaker A: Oh my God. Next to the cathedral of the church. [00:32:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:32:19] Speaker A: Oh my God. Wasn't that the best? [00:32:21] Speaker B: We were on the fourth floor and our bedroom window looked out right on the bell steeple. Which was not great because the bells went off every morning at 8am but we were up. [00:32:30] Speaker A: We didn't care. We didn't care. [00:32:33] Speaker B: We didn't care. Let's go back. Meanwhile, as an emissary of Mars, the Crimson Centipede has no need of money. And to the underworld, he just gives all the money that he stole to the criminals. [00:32:46] Speaker A: Here's money for your undertaking. Spread crime and chaos everywhere. [00:32:51] Speaker B: Okay, just give us a dao. We'll pull a job. [00:32:53] Speaker A: And so a rash of crimes breaks out. And on high, the two spectators, the gods, look on. Ho ho. Your Wonder Woman can't fight crime and injustice until she does the impossible beat. My Crimson Centipede. [00:33:07] Speaker D: She is an Amazon. She may lose a meeting or so, but she isn't beaten. You'll see. [00:33:12] Speaker A: Even Steve Trevor is affected by the Amazon's encounters with the unique threat I wanted to murder. This is my first enragement like so this whole. Yeah, this whole comic enraged me. [00:33:25] Speaker B: Because if you're new here, listener, we hate Steve Trevor. [00:33:28] Speaker A: And I cannot stand how Wonder Woman is highly feminized and infantilized. Like she is reduced to the most basic powerless qualities of a stereotypical male dominated world. She is a powerful, amazing woman. But in this time period, she is not right at all. [00:33:59] Speaker B: Correct. [00:34:01] Speaker A: She's like. I mean, honestly, I think that Wonder Woman would probably have her ass kicked by Superman. [00:34:07] Speaker B: But she would contraire. [00:34:10] Speaker A: She would nearly kill him. I think. I think she is almost as powerful. [00:34:15] Speaker B: She would kill him because he'd pull his punches. [00:34:18] Speaker A: What? [00:34:18] Speaker B: He'd pull his punches. [00:34:21] Speaker A: She is that powerful? [00:34:22] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. [00:34:24] Speaker A: So this stuff just makes me fucking boil inside. [00:34:27] Speaker B: With the Crimson Centipede around, your crime fighting career is finished, baby. You might as well marry me. [00:34:33] Speaker A: Fuck you, Steve. Fuck you. [00:34:36] Speaker D: I can't give up, Steve. [00:34:38] Speaker A: And in her loneliness at night, she [00:34:40] Speaker D: says, aphrodite, patron goddess of all Amazons, don't forsake me. Help me in my battle against the Crimson Centipede. Didn't you place me on man's world to fight crime and injustice? [00:34:53] Speaker B: Well, as it turns out, Aphrodite's forbidden from helping because that's the law on Mount Olympus, apparently. [00:35:01] Speaker A: And what's up with this Aphrodite goddess? Praying back to. [00:35:05] Speaker B: Who's she praying to? [00:35:06] Speaker A: Who's she praying to? Jove. [00:35:08] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:35:09] Speaker D: Zeus. [00:35:10] Speaker A: Same thing, right? [00:35:12] Speaker B: No, Jove is Hera. No, you're right. Jove is Zeus. Juno's Hera. All right. The next day, Wonder Woman's casually strolling down the street. Look at this woman with the cat eye sunglasses and the plaid coat. She appeared earlier. She did? Yes. [00:35:29] Speaker A: Stop it. Where? In front of the haberdashery. [00:35:31] Speaker B: Hang on. [00:35:32] Speaker A: Gotta find her. [00:35:33] Speaker B: Oh, maybe it's not her. But it's on page five, top panel. [00:35:36] Speaker A: Oh, I see. [00:35:37] Speaker B: She's got a plaid beret on. I think it's gotta be the same galactic. [00:35:40] Speaker A: She's running straight out of a Carnaby row. [00:35:45] Speaker B: All right. [00:35:46] Speaker D: My heart tells me I'm going to meet the Crimson Centipede today. And then this battle will be the last. Whichever way it turns out. [00:35:54] Speaker A: I don't like it when they contract. A word and will [00:36:00] Speaker B: this battle will be the last. [00:36:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Battle. Battle. [00:36:05] Speaker B: Ll, now unknown to the Amazon. [00:36:09] Speaker A: Will be'll climb up in my lap here in a minute. [00:36:12] Speaker B: Will be'll unknown to the Amazon. Steve Trevor is stalking her in the street in his Jeep. That's inconspicuous because he thinks she's gonna need his help against Crimson Centipede. [00:36:26] Speaker A: It's like you're grinding of the gears. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Shortly, in front of an enormous building which is being demolished, Wonder Woman spots the Crimson Centipede. He's got eight guns in his eight arms. And he's stealing a bag of money. She lasso's the bag of money. And he responds by punching her with his eight. 16 fists, which she. It looks like she's really taking damage. I don't know what the situation in this story does. [00:36:58] Speaker A: He has power? [00:36:59] Speaker B: No, he just has eight arms. Sixteen arms. [00:37:02] Speaker A: She does look like she's really getting hit, like I expect. I'm surprised they didn't do a close up of her. She had a bruised black eye and blood trickling out of her mouth. [00:37:10] Speaker B: She doesn't know how long she can stand her ground. But she can't let the Crimson Centipede know how close she is to falling. Suddenly, he pulls 16 guns. Two, three, four, five, six, seven. No. Now he only has seven pairs of arms. [00:37:26] Speaker A: They should have hired you as a continuity expert. [00:37:28] Speaker B: They should have. I'd do it. If it pays a good salary. I'd love it. All right. He starts firing the guns. And at last, here's something she can do. Play bullets and bracelets. She could do that all day long. [00:37:42] Speaker A: Oh, I love bullets and bracelets. [00:37:44] Speaker B: And for the first time, the Crimson Centipede is worried. But then he realizes that her bracelets must be magic. Well, they are, but not in the way he's thinking. [00:37:55] Speaker A: I didn't know this about the bracelets that are about to come out. [00:37:58] Speaker B: Oh, you didn't? [00:37:58] Speaker A: I hadn't. And that. [00:37:59] Speaker B: What a shock. [00:38:00] Speaker A: My mild rage from the previous pages. [00:38:02] Speaker B: Yes. [00:38:03] Speaker A: Went off the scale. If I had been a cartoon, you would have seen, like, the steam blow out of my ears. Right. And fireworks shoot out of my head. I was so angry at what we're about to see. And you're going to tell me that there's a history about it? We'll get to it. [00:38:17] Speaker B: There is. Yes. [00:38:18] Speaker A: I mean, I'm going to tell you like I was reading this on my E reader. Yes. On my. My iPad. I was so angry, I almost yelled out loud, what the actual fuck? When I read this. You have no idea what I'm talking about. You're about to find out. So she's doing bullets and bracelets. And it's at this moment that Steve is trying to run to help her. And she actually takes a bullet to her head. And Gets knocked out. At which point the Crimson Centipede takes the Amazon bracelets off of her wrist and she goes into a fight. Feminine rage, a rage likened to Wolverine when he goes. What is it called when Wolverine goes? [00:39:15] Speaker B: Berserker rage. [00:39:15] Speaker A: Berserker rage. She is uncontrollable. And she fucking knocks out the Crimson Centipede with every force and almost kills him. Nearly kills him. She is described as Wonder Woman's runaway force. I'm on page 11. She is multi punching him like Flash with the, with the, with the flailing wizzy arms that I hate so much. Yes, she's multi punching him. She's knocked him across the street. She has KO'd him. And then because her fury, because her bracelets have been removed, apparently she has absolutely no control over her fury. [00:40:00] Speaker B: None. [00:40:01] Speaker A: She then begins to tear down the building that's being ripped out and ripped down. She is about to potentially kill Steve Trevor. [00:40:13] Speaker B: Oh, good riddance. But. [00:40:15] Speaker A: So please tell me about these Amazon bracelets and the rage that is uncontrollable that this woman has and what has been imposed upon her. [00:40:29] Speaker B: So I don't know how much you know about William Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman. [00:40:34] Speaker A: I know nothing about him. [00:40:36] Speaker B: Okay. He invented the lie detector machine. [00:40:39] Speaker A: Okay. [00:40:41] Speaker B: He was in a throuple with two women. He had some very progressive for the time, but also odd ideas about females in the Wonder Woman comics. This is from Wikipedia. The Bracelets of Submission are a pair of fictional metal bracelets worn by Wonder Woman and other Amazons. They were originally created by William Marston, alluding to the Amazon's ties to Greek mythology as an allegory for his philosophy of loving submission. The bracelets protect Wonder Woman, allowing her to deflect impacts from many kinds of firearms and weapons. They are impervious to fire, energy, blast and projectiles, while also. Oh, this is interesting. While also making the heroine immune to fall damage. So she could have jumped off that building. William Marston depicted the origin story of the Amazons as Greek women who had been bound by the wrists by men who at one point realized their power and broke free. They then moved to their own women only island where in the absence of male oppression, they grew progressively stronger and lived a longer life. The Bracelets of Submission were still worn as a cautionary reminder to forfeit one's independence by allowing male dominance over their will sapped them of their own power. The inspiration to give Diana bracelets came from the pair of bracelets worn by Olive Bright Byrne creator William Marston's Research assistant and lover. Marston quoted in a 1942 interview. Wonder Woman and her sister Amazons have to wear heavy bracelets to remind them of what happens to a girl when she lets a man conquer her. The Amazons once surrendered to the charm of some handsome Greeks. Who could blame them there? And what a mess they got themselves into. The Greeks put them in chains of the Hitler type, beat them, and made them work like horses in the fields. Aphrodite, the goddess of love, finally freed these unhappy girls. But she laid down the rule that they must never surrender to a man for any reason. I know of no better advice to give modern women than this rule that Aphrodite gave the Amazon girls. Marston used bondage as a symbol concept as well as inducing submission acceptance. As a psychologist, Marsden believed that kinky doesn't make something wrong or weak. Abuse does. Marston was heavily influenced by his relationships with his wife and polyamorous life partner, Olive Byrne. Blah, blah, blah. So in the golden age of comics, it's revealed in Sensation Comics 4 that the Amazons temporarily lose their superhuman strength if a male welds chains to their bracelets together. But their strength remains unaffected if they are chained by females. Blah, blah, blah. The consequences of removing bracelets become simplified in later stories. If ever broken or removed, the Amazon would go into an uncontrollable destructive frenzy. As Dr. Marsden's allegory for the unfettered destruction by the human ego. [00:43:59] Speaker A: Wow. [00:43:59] Speaker B: You've had your mouth agape for the entire time that I've been speaking. [00:44:05] Speaker A: I didn't realize there was so much behind Wonder Woman and these bracelets. [00:44:08] Speaker B: Oh, girl, you need to read about Dr. Marston. There's a movie actually about his life. Wow. We need to see. [00:44:20] Speaker A: Why doesn't she rip off her bracelets when she feels like she's about to die? She practically took that centipede and ripped him in half. [00:44:31] Speaker B: Yes, The movie is Professor Marston and the Wonder Women. Wow. We'll look it up, okay. After we finish watching all our other programs. All right. Steve somehow manages to slip the bracelets back on with a zip zip. And the crimson centipede is knocked out. Wonder Woman is Steve's angel again. And in the misty regions in the skies, blast that Amazon of yours, Aphrodite. I thought sure the crimson centipede would destroy her. I see I'll have to try again. Where some creation of mine shall be powerless to resist. I guess Mars is one of the apple trees from the wizard of Oz. [00:45:26] Speaker A: Aphrodite says my Hopes and prayers will still go to my Wonder Woman. Oh, your prayers? You're sending your prayers to her. Thoughts and prayers whose mission is to battle crime and injustice in your man's world. Mars. [00:45:39] Speaker B: Mars. Well, speaking of women being subjugated, I guess we better do a tie. Machine mailbag. Time machine Mailbag. Where we read letters from the past and answer them today. Time machine Mail bag. Better late than never is what Mother used to say. [00:45:56] Speaker A: Dear Dr. Bob, I am 14 years old and I'm not bad looking. I mix with the kids in the neighborhood. Some of the boys have asked me to go steady, but I refuse them because I don't have any deep feelings for them. Is there something wrong with me? Because I'm always refusing to go steady or even to go on dates. Most of my girlfriends have boyfriends and they tell me I'm waiting for the perfect boy. They say I want too much in a fellow. I'm really not waiting for a certain boy to come along. It's just that none of those I know interest me. Please tell me if something is wrong with me because no boys whatsoever make me feel anything like being in love. [00:46:33] Speaker B: Karen, Karen, there is nothing wrong with you. I spent a good part of my young life waiting for the right girl to come along because I wasn't interested in any of the girls around me. And when the right girl did come along, he was a man. So, Karen, get out of high school, move to a big city and go crazy, girl. [00:47:06] Speaker A: You'll find the right girl for you. [00:47:08] Speaker B: What I'm saying, Karen, is you might not like boys at all. And that's fine. [00:47:13] Speaker A: That's fine. Right? [00:47:15] Speaker B: Right. [00:47:15] Speaker A: Right. [00:47:16] Speaker B: Even in the 60s, people kind of looked the other way if you were a girl in a Boston marriage. Dear Dr. Husband, recently I became engaged to a boy who lives in New York. When we were going steady, I had occasion to visit his family, but my own parents have never met them. Now that we are engaged, it seems to me that my mother ought to write a letter to my fiance's mother to congratulate her and start a friendship between them. However, my mother feels that it is not her place to make the first move. Can you please tell me which of us is right? Signed Arlene. [00:47:59] Speaker A: Well, Arlene, I think that maybe your. Your approach to this is a little bit old fashioned. I mean, nowadays families hardly even know each other, right? Right. So, you know, why don't you do what some people's family members do and just write off both families altogether. Just spend your time with your husband and just Divorce yourself from Go, no Contact. That's what all the kids are doing these days, right? Blame your parents for everything. Go, no Contact. Yes, that's what I would do. Arlene, just go, no Contact. Don't even let them try to work it out. [00:48:36] Speaker B: Good advice. [00:48:36] Speaker A: Yep. Thank you. Dear Dr. Bob, for the last six months I've been dating a boy whom I like better than anyone else I know. In fact, I think I might be in love with him. But though he acts very fond of me, he has never told me he loves me. I have met his family, and they are such nice people that I have taken the liberty of visiting them several times. His married sister is about my own age and when I dropped in to see her, I brought a few gifts for her children. My best friend tells me I'm doing the wrong thing and becoming too friendly with the boy's family. What do you think about it? Signed, Sandy. [00:49:10] Speaker B: Sandy, your best friend is right. You're a stalker. Also, you are the same age as his married sister and she has more than one child. And you're writing to someone in a comic book. Sandy, I hope this boy never tells you he loves you. [00:49:31] Speaker A: Dear [00:49:33] Speaker B: doctor Husband. Yes, for the first time the other day, I was stood up by a boy. I was angry and humiliated and vowed that I'd never date him again. I didn't even wanna speak to him if I saw him again. But my girlfriend said that I was being unfair and that I shouldn't judge him until he had a chance to explain. Explain himself. Well, I happened to meet him on the street the next day and since he greeted me first, I decided to be friendly and at least hear his story. He told me he was very sorry about what happened but that he was broke and didn't have enough money to take me out. When I asked him why he didn't have the courtesy to call me up and tell me this. He said he was too embarrassed and just didn't have the nerve, so he took the easy way out. Then he wanted to know if I'd accept another date with him the next time he called. I said I didn't know and would have to think about it. The chances are that he will call me again and now I don't know if I should go out with him. I do like him, but I don't want to run the risk of dating someone who is poor. I mean, irresponsible. What do you think I should do? Signed, Susan. [00:50:37] Speaker A: Well, Susan, I suppose the right thing to do is to tell you that you should ghost him. But I think that. Because that's what the kids are doing these days, like, no contact with their parents. But I want to say this, Susan. I think it's important that he didn't call you. And that he greeted you. And then finally confessed that he was embarrassed and he was poor. I think it speaks well of a man when he does that right away. Instead of standing you up, leaving you wondering what happened to him and why he wasn't seeing you. And then he just happened to see you on the street. I think you should avoid this boy. Not because he's poor, but because he didn't lead with honesty. [00:51:38] Speaker B: Amen. Time Machine Mailbag. Where we read letters from the past and answer them today. Time machine mail bag. Better late than never is what Mother used to say. Well, we're not done yet, listener. We got another Wonder Woman story in the same issue. Wonder Woman, beautiful as Aphrodite, wise as Athena, Stronger than Hercules and swifter than Mercury. Is asked to make a choice between Steve Trevor and General Darnell. And in her effort to teach the vain Steve a lesson, winds up in the Cage of Doom. [00:52:13] Speaker A: I'm sorry. I wasn't there yet. I was literally reading your lips. The Cage of Doom. The Cage of Doom. [00:52:19] Speaker B: General Darnell is played by Claude Rains. [00:52:21] Speaker A: Oh, totally. Yes. Yes, I see that. Yes. Now, listener, this story. Oh, my God. [00:52:30] Speaker B: Diana Prince. Secretly, Wonder Woman overhears an argument at Military intelligence. Between General Darnell and Colonel Trevor. Ah, this is General Darnell. Let's see. Claude Rains. Colonel, I love Wonder Woman as much as you. And since she hasn't agreed to marry you by now, I'm going to court her. Maybe I'll succeed. [00:52:55] Speaker A: You haven't a chance, General. Wonder Woman hasn't married me only because she hasn't found a substitute. To battle injustice in a crime for her. Oh, does he have a Texas accent? [00:53:06] Speaker B: Sure. [00:53:06] Speaker A: Okay. All right. [00:53:08] Speaker D: Neither man knows that Wonder Woman is overhearing this argument. Because in my other secret identity, I am Wonder Woman. [00:53:15] Speaker B: Your other secret identity? How many secret identities do you have? [00:53:20] Speaker D: Well, I have Wonder Woman, Diana Prince, Princess Diana. I also bake, I clean house, I can sew, I run Kathy's Cupcakes. Cupcakery. Cupcake. Georgetown. [00:53:41] Speaker B: All right. Here comes Diana butting in. General Darnell asks her. Captain Prince, you're Wonder Woman's best friend. What do you think of my chances? [00:53:49] Speaker A: You haven't a chance, General. Wonder Woman is blind to any man but me. [00:53:54] Speaker D: Steve's mighty conceited. I'm gonna teach him a lesson. [00:53:58] Speaker A: Oh, here we go at that moment. Look. That giant helicopter is burning. [00:54:04] Speaker B: Nothing can stop it from crashing. [00:54:06] Speaker A: But unobserved by the two contestants, this [00:54:09] Speaker D: is my chance to turn into Wonder Woman without being seen. [00:54:12] Speaker A: She does that blur run thing again. Right. [00:54:15] Speaker B: Hold on. Is that this? Just photo statted identical art from her first change. [00:54:23] Speaker A: It might be. [00:54:24] Speaker B: Oh, it's not. Oh, but it's awfully close. I mean, it's the same artist. [00:54:29] Speaker A: And swifter than a shadow. Wonder Woman, darling. Excuse my dust. [00:54:35] Speaker B: Is she dust? Yeah. [00:54:36] Speaker A: She leaps from the building. [00:54:38] Speaker B: Leaps and calls for Roboplane. [00:54:42] Speaker A: Now, this is one of those giant helicopters with two propellers. [00:54:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:48] Speaker A: Like a Coast Guard. [00:54:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:54:51] Speaker A: So like a Coast Guard rescue helicopter. So here's the thing. It's on fire. [00:54:57] Speaker B: Yes. [00:54:57] Speaker A: She calls a robot plane. [00:54:58] Speaker B: Yes. [00:54:59] Speaker A: Jumps on the wings of the word robot plane. [00:55:01] Speaker B: Yes. [00:55:01] Speaker A: Lassoes the helicopter and then spins it around at an eye blurring speed that whips the flames out, killing everyone on board. Killing everyone on board. The centrifugal force of her having to spin a helicopter around so fast that the flames are deprived of oxygen would certainly turn everybody inside into puddles of flesh and crushed bones. [00:55:32] Speaker B: Also, it'd probably spew burning gasoline down on the street below. [00:55:37] Speaker A: Do you see what she's on? She's lassoed this. [00:55:40] Speaker B: Yes. [00:55:41] Speaker A: How did she not beat up the crimson centipede? This woman just dove out of a building, landed on a plane, a metal lasso. [00:55:52] Speaker B: And now that we know her bracelets protect her from fall damage. [00:55:57] Speaker A: It's craziness, I tell you. [00:55:59] Speaker B: And these two stories are written by the same person, right? Yes. [00:56:02] Speaker A: All I could think about were those poor people inside the helicopter that are about to crash and are literally killed in a very, very painful, high G force situation. [00:56:12] Speaker B: Well, don't worry, because she lowers the helicopter gently down to the roof of military intelligence. [00:56:17] Speaker A: So the soup of all the people inside spills out. Spills out through the open door. [00:56:24] Speaker B: Well, General Darnell's not wasting any time. Wonder Woman, will you honor me by going out on a date with me? There's something urgent I have to tell you. [00:56:33] Speaker A: Tell the general you only go out with me, Angel. [00:56:35] Speaker D: Here's where I start teaching Steve that he shouldn't be so sure of me. I'd love to go out with you, General. [00:56:43] Speaker A: Her voice sucks. As the lovely Amazon is about to leave with General Darnell. The only reason Wonder Woman is going out with you, General, is because she feels sorry for you. She's too polite to say no to you. [00:56:54] Speaker D: The unmitigated goal of that Steve, you must think you're the only man in the world. Steve, I'm going out with the General because he's a very attractive man and he outranks you. [00:57:09] Speaker A: Why, thank you, Wonder Woman. What? [00:57:13] Speaker B: This was my favorite part because the dancing. Shortly at the supper club, Wonder Woman and General Darnell are doing the froog. [00:57:20] Speaker A: They are doing the froo. [00:57:28] Speaker B: Just then, gangsters enter the supper club. [00:57:32] Speaker A: This is a hold up. [00:57:33] Speaker B: Just give us everything you got and [00:57:35] Speaker A: the show can go on. [00:57:37] Speaker B: Right. [00:57:37] Speaker A: That's really. That's what's gonna happen. Like, they're gonna go in, they're gonna pull out their guns. [00:57:42] Speaker B: Yes. [00:57:43] Speaker A: Take everyone. Take everyone's personal belongings. And then expect them to start dancing again. [00:57:48] Speaker B: Well, I wonder if they take your personal belongings. Do you have to pay taxes on those personal belongings if they're stolen from you? [00:57:57] Speaker A: It's just that anger voice. Is that just what I sound like all the time? [00:58:01] Speaker B: What anger voice? [00:58:02] Speaker A: And this is what they expect them to do, just, like, start dancing. Is that my nice voice? [00:58:08] Speaker B: I thought that was your love language. However, Wonder Woman hurls herself at the gangsters, easily deflating bullets and bracelets. She takes. [00:58:22] Speaker A: Oh, wait, I don't remember. I think she takes another bullet to the head. [00:58:25] Speaker B: She does. [00:58:26] Speaker A: God. [00:58:27] Speaker D: Jesus. [00:58:27] Speaker B: One of the bullets rebounds at a crazy angle and strikes a glancing blow at the side of the Amazon's head. And she's knocked unconscious. [00:58:33] Speaker A: Which I've never seen before in comics. Until now. Granted, I've only been reading a year's worth of comics. Excuse me, a year's worth of Wonder Woman comics. So is this something that happens? Is this a trope? That happens? She's always gonna get smacked in the head. [00:58:45] Speaker B: Not in the 70s. [00:58:46] Speaker A: Does she faint a lot? [00:58:48] Speaker B: Yeah, in the 60s, sure. But just then, General Darnell rushes up. You rats, stay away from that girl. Don't you dare touch a single hair on her head. Whose voice is that again? Claude Rains. That's so perfect, I actually can't remember the moment. What the fuck Rain sounds like. But it's gotta be something like that. [00:59:05] Speaker A: It sounds like that, yeah. [00:59:06] Speaker B: The General valiantly hurls himself. The thugs. Don't worry, Wonder Woman. I'll protect you. I'll say that you're not harmed. [00:59:14] Speaker A: That old boy is sure putting us for scrap. [00:59:17] Speaker B: But a treacherous blow from a gunman knocks the General out. They take the General and Wonder Woman prisoner. And later, at the hideout of the gang, where they just happen to have a caged lion. [00:59:32] Speaker A: Caged lion? That's what gangsters Keep caged lion. Do you know how much work that is to keep a lion alive? [00:59:37] Speaker B: Yes, I've seen Tiger King. [00:59:39] Speaker A: Yeah, it's expensive. [00:59:41] Speaker B: We'll keep them prisoners in this cage with our pet lion while we warn Military Intelligence. After all, we got Wonder Woman and a general. They're our security against being captured. [00:59:52] Speaker A: Ironically, it's Colonel Steve Trevor who receives the note. Please wait, Blazes. This gives me a chance to rescue my angel and General Darnell. And make her look up to me so she'll forget all about him. [01:00:06] Speaker B: And so the emotions of the heart compel Steve to tackle the gangster stronghold alone. [01:00:13] Speaker A: They won't expect one man to come after them. Surprise will be in my favor. [01:00:18] Speaker B: Well, Wonder Woman and General Darnell come to. And find themselves guarded by a snarling, strangely thin lion. [01:00:28] Speaker A: It's a hungry lion. [01:00:30] Speaker B: Uh, one move from either one of you, and I'll loose the lion at yus. Be perfectly still, and you'll be safe. As long as I don't release the lion's collar. Ha. [01:00:41] Speaker D: Suffering Sappho. I can't make a move without risking General Darnell's life. I'll have to be still and await my chance. [01:00:48] Speaker B: Really? You can't make a move? Really? [01:00:50] Speaker A: I think you could probably split the lion in half. [01:00:52] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:00:53] Speaker A: I mean, you know, she doesn't want to, but she's gonna end up hurting that lion here in a minute. [01:00:58] Speaker B: Meanwhile, Steve knocks out a guard, which the noise arouses other guards. If this is the guy that's bringing the money for Wonder Woman in the general, it looks like he's trying to cheat us out of it by free freeing them himself. [01:01:14] Speaker A: With the life of his sweetheart at stake, Steve is transformed. [01:01:18] Speaker B: He's like, in a berserker rage, just [01:01:19] Speaker A: like Wonder Woman was, He says. Maybe you don't know it, but we learn a few things at Military intelligence. And one of them is karate. [01:01:36] Speaker D: Did they teach that in the Air Force? [01:01:38] Speaker B: This is ironic. Maybe you don't know what happened to one on women in the late 60s. [01:01:44] Speaker A: No. [01:01:44] Speaker B: Well, she lost her powers. I believe she voluntarily renounced her Amazon powers. And became like an Emma Peel sort of karate chopping. [01:01:57] Speaker A: No. [01:01:58] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. I'll show you some of those someday if you're good. All right. Steve makes his way to the prisoner's cage. Where they are being taunted by one of these thugs. He sees his chance to rescue Wonder Woman and make himself a hero in her eyes. So the thug releases the lion, who leaps at the prisoners. Wonder Woman's got to get General Darnell out of the cage. So she simultaneously does what she could have done the whole time. [01:02:39] Speaker A: Right? [01:02:39] Speaker B: Locks the lion in a headlock and uses her legs to split the bars of the cage open. So General Darnell can escape, that is. And also punches out the lion. [01:02:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:55] Speaker B: The General offers to help her fight the lion, but she says there's no need to, first of all. But thanks. [01:03:01] Speaker A: What's he gonna do? [01:03:02] Speaker D: You don't have to prove to me you're a brave man, General. You've done it more than once. But let's get out of here. [01:03:08] Speaker A: In the midst of the crushing blow, Steve hears the mighty Amazon's words. He gets hit in the back of the head with a gun. Just like the General did. [01:03:19] Speaker B: Yes. He believes he's lost Wonder Woman. She wouldn't say that to the General unless she really cared for him at that moment. [01:03:30] Speaker A: Like a human cannonball with her bracelets on. [01:03:32] Speaker B: Yeah. So Steve gets knocked out. [01:03:36] Speaker D: Merciful Minerva. What have these killers done to Steve? [01:03:41] Speaker A: She knocks these guys out. [01:03:42] Speaker B: Makes fast work of these criminals. [01:03:44] Speaker A: Yep. [01:03:46] Speaker D: S.O.B. i'll never forgive myself if anything's happened to Steve. And it's all my fault for trying to teach him a lesson. [01:03:55] Speaker A: It looks like Steve's. It looks like it's Steve's. The Amazon. What? [01:03:59] Speaker B: I'll do it. [01:04:00] Speaker A: Thank you. [01:04:00] Speaker B: It looks like it's Steve the Amazon really loves. Guess I'll have to keep my love for her locked up in my heart. [01:04:07] Speaker A: And then Steve comes to. He says, I'll never take you for granted again, beautiful. [01:04:13] Speaker D: And I'll never go out with anyone else unless I can't help myself. [01:04:21] Speaker B: Oh, Wonder Woman, let's not ask for the moon when we have the stars. Is that the last line from Now Voyager? [01:04:31] Speaker A: Is it? [01:04:31] Speaker B: I can't remember. I'll have to watch it again. You can find us on social media at GoGoCheckPod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. You can find us this week on the fabulous three part Crisis in Eternity over at the Earth 2 podcast. And you can find us right back here next week with I forgot to look at the spreadsheet. But it'll be exciting. You can bet that. [01:05:01] Speaker A: I hope it's not a Jerry Lewis comic. [01:05:03] Speaker B: It's not. I think we're done with those for a couple of weeks. Yeah. Byeeee. [01:05:09] Speaker C: You don't have to be a politician. You can change it all with a sin and dispositions of a heaven and spread it all around. If you find yourself a frowning. Just turn it upside down. When you wear a smile, the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You gotta give in one thing. [01:05:42] Speaker B: Time. [01:05:43] Speaker C: You gotta turn on the sunshine. Push those blues away. Man, this dialectic's too much.