Future Shock (Adventure Comics 354)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? [00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:01] Speaker A: Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1960. I'm Dr. Bob and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic novel domain. This Week, Adventure Comics 354Cover Date March 1967Cover Price $0.12. Cover artists Kurt Swan and George Klein Edited by Mort Wisinger Featuring the Adult Legion Written by Jim Shooter Art by Kurt Swan and George Klein. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:00] Speaker C: If you're walking in the shadows then it's time that you get wild? I just forget about your jaw boots and open up your eyes? When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine? You're gonna push the blues away. [00:01:28] Speaker A: Superman is summoned to the 30th century by the Adult Legion of Superheroes. After arriving, he tours their headquarters complex seeing statues in honor of the members who've died in action and the ones who got married. Brainiac 5 greets the man of Steel. And together they explore the headquarters and and contact the many retired members. Excited? Dr. Husband sure was. We'll be right back to tell you all about it. [00:02:04] Speaker B: Sighing wind caress my cheek. Soft sounds come to my ears. It is the voice of yesterday laughing at my fear. [00:02:22] Speaker A: But wait, another sound I hear going. [00:02:27] Speaker B: The other way is abundance of things to come tomorrow, not today. [00:02:40] Speaker A: It were a cold, cold house I kept. [00:02:43] Speaker B: I'll be damn sure you that's the truth. [00:02:45] Speaker A: We just got a new furnace. This room should be warm. [00:02:49] Speaker B: Well, we did get a new furnace for the other part of the house, for the downstairs. [00:02:54] Speaker A: Oh, so there's different parts of the house. [00:02:58] Speaker B: Oh my God. Thank God I'm still alive. You know, I fear that someday I'm gonna die before you and you're just gonna be sitting in a dark, cold house and not know how anything works. [00:03:08] Speaker A: That you're gonna leave me lots of money and then I'll hire a boy to come in and stuff. [00:03:13] Speaker B: You're gonna. What I'm gonna do is you're gonna going to sell the house and move to a house that you actually know how to run. Things don't run themselves like the water softener Salt gets put into the water softener and things hire a boy. And appliances break down and things happen. [00:03:30] Speaker A: You know, hire a boy. [00:03:32] Speaker B: So it is cold in here. This is our podcasting room is above the garage. And I don't know about the insulation between the ceiling of the garage and the floor of this room. I don't know what it's like, but there's no, like, there's no. It's cold. It's either it's hot in the summer and it's cold in the winter. And what you're experiencing is because our upstairs heat pump is broken and it is running on emergency heat only. [00:03:58] Speaker A: However, what's happening tomorrow, the boy is coming to fix it. [00:04:02] Speaker B: That is correct. [00:04:03] Speaker A: Because we hired a boy. [00:04:04] Speaker B: Yes. And they're placing a part. The upstairs heat pump is relatively new. It's only three years old, but a part broke on it and it's covered by warranty. And I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. As soon as they fix it, I'm gonna fucking crank up that heat so high upstairs that it will be uncomfortable and I am going to be like, God, it's so hot. For the first time since November, the beginning of November, I will feel uncomfortably warm and then I'll crank it back down. [00:04:31] Speaker A: Anyway, by the time you die, I'll be old and I'll have kindly neighbors that'll take pity on me. [00:04:36] Speaker B: Oh, well, by the time I die, God willing, you'll be in the home and all you have to do is sit in your chair and rock back and forth with your blankets and whatnot. [00:04:43] Speaker A: Sounds like paradise. So how are you? What you been up to? [00:04:48] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, well, it seems like months since we recorded our last podcast. [00:04:53] Speaker A: I know, it's only been a week. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Has it only been a week? [00:04:56] Speaker A: Ish. [00:04:56] Speaker B: Ish. Okay, well, let's see. What have I been up to? Playing music. I mean, like playing the guitar and stuff. Sure. Taking walks with Butler. [00:05:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:09] Speaker B: Doing some reading and generally just sort of relaxing. I've got lots of projects, creative and work related, teaching related, that I have to do for the spring. And so we are not yet up to Christmas, but I had to map out. And I'm not bragging about this at all. Like, I'm not doing what I did last fall, which was I left my teaching planning up until the very last minute. And I hated every Sunday afternoon because I had to plan ahead for the next week and everything. So I have instead blocked out time for me to do that. So starting today, actually, I started working on this so that I can have everything ready by the time school started. [00:05:54] Speaker A: Cool, cool, cool. [00:05:55] Speaker B: So that's what I've been doing, but basically just enjoying my post semester vacation. [00:06:01] Speaker A: Yes. [00:06:02] Speaker B: And making some music and just. I did some baking and, and oh, and home repairs. Lots of little projects that I had been putting off. For example, you notice look at the window here. [00:06:14] Speaker A: They're all caulked. [00:06:15] Speaker B: They're all caulked. Yes. Which is. We had. There was one time in the room you said, why is it so cold up here? Of course, the heat pump was right. Right. But I said that's because there are cracks. Like you see all these black things around the window. Not like massive cracks, but like if you could see black around the edge of the window, the that means cold air is coming in. And that day that it was so, so, so, so windy and crazy. I knew because I had fixed the caulking the day before and I could tell that it was warmer in the master bedroom because I had fixed all the windows. [00:06:46] Speaker A: Well, I've watched Little House on the Prairie. You just need some tar pitch put over the cracks from the outside. [00:06:52] Speaker B: Indeed. So that's what I've been doing. What have you been doing? [00:06:55] Speaker A: Well, I went to New York City and saw a couple of shows and. Yeah, I thought you were there but you didn't mention it so. [00:07:01] Speaker B: Well, you asked me what I had been doing. I thought you would talk about our trip to New York. [00:07:05] Speaker A: No, we went to New York and saw a couple of shows, walked all around. I'll say, wish we could do it every weekend. [00:07:15] Speaker B: Please go ahead. [00:07:15] Speaker A: Well, except we live so far from the train station. Well. [00:07:19] Speaker B: And it's not cheap. [00:07:21] Speaker A: It's not cheap. But right when you leave me your life insurance, I'll be up there all the time. [00:07:28] Speaker B: Yes. So we take a 90 minute drive to the train station. [00:07:33] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:33] Speaker B: And just sit down on the train and relax and nap and read and whatnot. And then we pull right into Penn Station. We stayed at a hotel right next to Penn Station. [00:07:43] Speaker A: Right next to Penn Station. [00:07:45] Speaker B: Very quiet that I was so surprised at how quiet. [00:07:48] Speaker A: And it's awfully handy to the city. Yes. [00:07:51] Speaker B: And we walked everywhere we needed to go. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:53] Speaker B: Listener. We got there around 3ish in the afternoo. 3, 3ish? Was it 3 or 4? 3:30ish. [00:07:59] Speaker A: 3:30. [00:07:59] Speaker B: Checked into our hotel that was really close because the room wasn't ready until like the very last minute. Checked into our room, walked to our first show at five o'. Clock, Right? [00:08:10] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:11] Speaker B: Which we saw What? [00:08:12] Speaker A: Oh, Mary. [00:08:13] Speaker B: And did you enjoy it? [00:08:14] Speaker A: I did. [00:08:14] Speaker B: It was so funny. Jane Krakowski was playing the lead of Mary at Todd at Lincoln. [00:08:19] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:21] Speaker B: And then we got a cocktail and went to our next show, which was chess, which was a blast. And then we went to a very late dinner, which was a very New York thing to do. [00:08:32] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:33] Speaker B: In an insanely loud. [00:08:35] Speaker A: Oh, it was like a sports bar. [00:08:37] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:08:38] Speaker A: And there was a birthday party at the table next to us. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Apparently, it was a. [00:08:42] Speaker A: It was a. [00:08:43] Speaker B: The friendship group is created by their shared affinity for screaming. [00:08:47] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:47] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:48] Speaker A: They're very loud. [00:08:49] Speaker B: Very screams. And they had those voices that just cut through you like glass. [00:08:53] Speaker A: Well, all New Yorkers have that voice. Yeah. [00:08:55] Speaker B: So, I mean, at one point, what did I say to you sitting across the table, quietly? I tried to say it to you quietly. [00:09:00] Speaker A: Oh, I don't remember. [00:09:01] Speaker B: Do you remember? I said to you. I said, are there voices? Like, are you having a physical reaction to the loudness of their voices? Like, I am. And you said, yes. [00:09:11] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:11] Speaker B: I said, I am having a really hard time. Like, I'm just. I said to you, I need to focus on the music that I can hear over the noise because, like, it is cutting through me at every time that they would scream for their team that would score or basically just talk across the. Scream. Scream, talk across the table to each other. I would shudder. It was so loud. And the room was loud. [00:09:33] Speaker A: Yes. Anyway, well, next time we know better, we'll choose a different spot. Or we'll just get a street food. [00:09:39] Speaker B: Well, we'll choose a different spot. But we had some weird cocktails. Dinner was delightful. [00:09:45] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:45] Speaker B: Then we crawled back to the hotel. I mean, I felt like I was so tired and slept really well, and. [00:09:51] Speaker A: Then joined one of our dear, dear, dear friends, a former student of ours. [00:09:54] Speaker B: The next morning for breakfast. [00:09:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And then we came home. Yep. Got on the train, came home, that was it. Well, we can talk about our asshole cat, but we could save that for next week. [00:10:09] Speaker B: Oh, you're gonna save it for next week? [00:10:11] Speaker A: Well, we could. Let's say it now. So, Mr. Willoughby, our cat, he's been visiting the horse farm down the road because he turns out he's got a girlfriend, Ms. Dashwood, who he calls Spawn. [00:10:24] Speaker B: Yes. [00:10:25] Speaker A: At the horse farm. [00:10:26] Speaker B: Another tuxedo cat. [00:10:27] Speaker A: Another tuxedo cat. Well, then Dr. Husband got a phone call. [00:10:32] Speaker B: Remember I said we went to New York City? [00:10:34] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:35] Speaker B: I was sleeping, and we were to wake up at 8am I get a. [00:10:38] Speaker A: Call at 6am Right. [00:10:41] Speaker B: Multiple calls. [00:10:42] Speaker A: Multiple calls. He finally answers. It's our neighbor, six or seven houses down. Mr. Willoughby was in his house. [00:10:52] Speaker B: Woke him up. [00:10:53] Speaker A: Woke him up. Meowing. [00:10:55] Speaker B: Right. He thought it was his ghost cat. [00:10:58] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:58] Speaker B: He thought it was his cat who passed away in March. He didn't. He woke up out of a dead sleep, called the name of this cat. I don't know what his cat's name was, but he's like, what, what, what, What? Then he looked at his collar. [00:11:09] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:09] Speaker B: Phone number. Thank you for getting that. [00:11:11] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:11] Speaker B: On the cat's collar. And called me multiple times. [00:11:16] Speaker A: It's a lucky thing I did get that collar because that's not very. That's pretty recent. [00:11:22] Speaker B: Yes. Well, we got. We had a GPS tracker on him, Right. That's how we know he down at the Horse Bar. [00:11:27] Speaker A: But the GPS tracker was dead because he'd been gone all night with Miss Dashwood. Well, anyway, this guy had a cat door, but he. That he thought was locked, but it was only locked from the inside. So any sort of creature can get in his house. I guess he's fixed it now. [00:11:45] Speaker B: Of course, he duct taped it. He duct taped it. [00:11:47] Speaker A: Okay, good. [00:11:47] Speaker B: But he had no idea that while the cat door locked, it meant that you can lock your cat into your house. Yes. But anything can come in. So that's what happened. Willoughby came in through his cat door and then couldn't figure out how to get out. And then meowed, meowed, meowed to try to get some help. It was very friendly. Luckily, our neighbor's a good person. [00:12:06] Speaker A: Yes. [00:12:07] Speaker B: Willoughby went under his bed and just fell asleep. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Sure. [00:12:10] Speaker B: And then eventually, he couldn't get Willoughby out. And so I called him at 9 o' clock that morning after we all woke up again and, you know, getting ready for the day. And he said, well, I'm getting ready here to go to church here. Pretty soon. I'm going to try to get Willoughby out. I said, listen, close off the room. Can you open up a door to let him out? And he said, yeah. I said, get a vacuum cleaner and push it under that bed and turn it on. And he said, oh, I'm not sure I want to try that. And I said, trust me, do it. That'll do it. And that's exactly what he did to get him out. He opened up a door to the outside, turn on the vacuum cleaner, and Willoughby bolted out of there. [00:12:45] Speaker A: Hmm. I hope he learned his lesson. [00:12:47] Speaker B: I wanted him to make it as unpleasant as possible so that Willoughby would never go try to go back again. You know, I think some of our neighbors I know. Lori has a cat door and a dog door. [00:12:56] Speaker A: How has Willoughby not been in there? Well, maybe he has. We don't know. My goodness. Idiot. [00:13:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:04] Speaker A: Anyway, speaking of idiots. Oh. What? [00:13:08] Speaker B: This comic was very interesting. [00:13:11] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I didn't really mean speaking of idiots because I'm delighted at this comic. It's kind of gave me a nerd sensation. [00:13:20] Speaker B: So before we dive into this. [00:13:22] Speaker A: Yes? [00:13:23] Speaker B: Does the 1967 publishing of this comic and this future forecasting then become canon and have to change the future of the Legionnaires Legion of Superman? [00:13:35] Speaker A: Well, we're going to talk about that, aren't we? Legionnaires? Yes, that's correct. This is Adventure Comics number 354, featuring an amazing preview of the future in which Superman teams up with the adult. [00:13:52] Speaker B: Legionnaires, see which members will live, marry and die. [00:13:57] Speaker A: Die. We have on the COVID Superman walking through the Legion of Superheroes hall of Monuments to members who died in action. Most of them were friends of mine when I was Superboy. We have Pharaoh Lad who gave his life that the galaxy might live. We've seen his death on panel. Chemical King. He sacrificed his life to Prevent World War 7. Quantum Queen perished preventing. Blah, blah, blah. Escape from Cosmos prison. Reflecto, killed in a duel with the Molecule Master. And Shadow Woman, who died saving the science asteroid. Let's dive in, shall we? [00:14:44] Speaker B: Yes, let's. Tales of the Legion of Superheroes Many times we have taken you into the 30th century to meet the Legion of Superheroes. That galactic group of teenagers who guard the universe against all perils. But this time, let's go just a bit farther into the future and see how these power packed youths will turn out when they grow up. Come with Superman and learn which members will quit the Legion and which ones will marry and which will die in the Adult Legion. [00:15:16] Speaker A: Roll call. Brainiac 5. Cosmic Man. [00:15:19] Speaker B: Elementman. [00:15:20] Speaker A: Lightningman. [00:15:22] Speaker B: Polarman. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Saturn Woman, Superman. Timberwolf. [00:15:26] Speaker B: Plus guest appearances by 11 other legionnaires. [00:15:28] Speaker A: Do do do do do do. Our story begins as a red and blue clad figure streaks through the time barrier. Not Superboy, but the grown Superman he's been called. [00:15:41] Speaker B: And he's heading for a time when they're all adults. [00:15:43] Speaker A: Great Krypton. The Legion headquarters is nothing like Superman remembers it. Now it covers a whole city block. Well, you remember in this time the headquarters is just an upside down rocket ship that's stuck into the ground. [00:16:00] Speaker B: Yes. [00:16:01] Speaker A: So yes, this would be a shock that it covers an entire city block. [00:16:06] Speaker B: Landing on the sprawling headquarter grounds. Superman is awed By a strange gallery. [00:16:11] Speaker A: Monuments to legionnaires who died in action. Pharaoh Lad, as we saw. Reflecto, as we saw in the COVID Chemical King, Shadow Woman. And now the Caped Kryptonian wanders further through the grounds where he's going through the hall of Marriage, a hall devoted to statues of legionnaires who've married. So it seems that Light Lass, now Light lady, got hitched to Timber Wolf, who was once known as Lone Wolf, Cosmic man and Night Woman. Night Woman, of course, was one of the substitute legionnaires. Lightning Lad, Saturn Woman, Lightning Man, Saturn Woman. Sorry, Shrinking Violet. And Duplicate Boy, who's not part of the Legion, but he's from the Heroes of Lalor, along with Gas Girl. She's my favorite. Suddenly, Here comes Brainiac 5, balding with a pipe in his mouth. [00:17:13] Speaker B: Yes, smoking a pipe. [00:17:15] Speaker A: It's nice to be back, Brainiac. I see things have changed quite a bit. It's interesting that he didn't. Hasn't had any contact with the Legion in all of these intervening years. He just went cold turkey after his teen years. [00:17:32] Speaker B: They must not have needed him. [00:17:34] Speaker A: Well, you'd think he'd come. I mean, I go to my high school reunion. To think you'd pop up once in a while. [00:17:41] Speaker B: Yeah, you would. You're right, it is interesting. [00:17:47] Speaker A: Now, Brainiac 5 offers to show him around because we have some time before the others arrive. The two leave the main headquarters and take to the air with. Brainiac 5 has his flight ring. Of course. [00:18:02] Speaker B: It's interesting that he decided to tell him that. [00:18:06] Speaker A: Well, because I'm trying to remember if the flight rings have actually been invented yet. I guess they have, because they used to use jet packs and then they used flight belts. But I think they do have flight rings. Now at this time. I'm sorry for the dog barking in the background, but there's a ute walking. Well, I've never seen him before. Who's that? I don't like the looks of that. And he's smoking a black tracksuit and a smoker. That doesn't bode well. [00:18:37] Speaker B: He's not up for a fitness walk, is he? Do you think his case in the joint? [00:18:41] Speaker A: He could be. You better call the county sheriff or the HOA president or somebody. Somebody that owns a gun. Now, Brainiac 5 says we've got a power plant, maintenance shop, private space fort. That must be a misprinting. Must mean space port, an arsenal, and a lab that's going to take up more than a city block. [00:19:10] Speaker B: Why are they labeled? Is it for us? For our benefit. Wouldn't they know what they are? [00:19:17] Speaker A: Well, you have to imagine that earth in the 30th century has lots of alien species visiting and whatnot. They need good signage to know what things are. And then, of course, the main building, which houses the communications equipment, meeting rooms, living quarters, and is in general the hub of all Legion activities. [00:19:43] Speaker B: Isn't the future beautiful? [00:19:45] Speaker A: I'll say. Now, Superman worries that this layout's kind of open. What's to prevent some crook from waltzing in and blowing the place sky high? Or maybe a smoking youth in a black tracksuit moseying down the street. [00:19:58] Speaker B: The court is aligned with computerized ray guards. Anybody that aren't programmed to accept gets the bounce. [00:20:04] Speaker A: Like literally. Do they bounce them out? [00:20:05] Speaker B: I was hoping they'd get sliced in half by the by the rays. [00:20:10] Speaker A: Now they head to the communications room. Now I work in it. I know that you're not supposed to smoke around sensitive equipment like this. Brainiac 5. Of course, it's the 30th century. Maybe it's just some kind of harmless water pipe or something that doesn't emit any smoke or carcinogens. Uh huh. Brainiac's gonna tune in some of the former Legion members to say hi to Superman. Here we see Ultraman and Phantom Woman. Or should I say Joe and Tinya? Nah, they're out of uniform. They're in their civvies. They have retired. Although Ultraman is a Reservist. I dig his civilian outfit. That's pretty cool, that shirt. He's got a tight tee on with the black and white geometric designs on. And striped pajama pants. [00:21:14] Speaker B: They're probably comfort house pants. [00:21:17] Speaker A: Yes, now he's got his costume still because he's a reservist. But he gave up his full membership to devote more time to family. That means he was involved in some kind of scandal. That's what devote more time to family. Mm. Incidentally, I have a job as Quadrant Director of the Science Police. [00:21:39] Speaker B: The Science Police? Yes, Police for Science. [00:21:42] Speaker A: Well, that's the police in the 30th century. Oh, have we not had that term before? [00:21:46] Speaker B: Not that I recall. [00:21:47] Speaker A: Yes. They're called Science Police. [00:21:48] Speaker B: You know, I go through a brain. [00:21:50] Speaker A: Wipe after everyone I know. And they have two children, Ron and Arna. And they have inherited their powers, respectively. Ron, that's with two N's, can presumably use Ultraman's powers, which involve super strength and flight and vision and invulnerability. But it can only use one power at a time. [00:22:13] Speaker B: I see. [00:22:14] Speaker A: And of course. Phantom Woman. She can become intangible, which her daughter Arna has inherited. Next. [00:22:26] Speaker B: Remind me about Mon El, because that is a Kryptonian name. Well, no, it's not. [00:22:33] Speaker A: Yes, it is. Now, he's from the planet Daxam. He was a young space explorer. He landed on Earth when Superman was Superboy. [00:22:44] Speaker B: Okay. [00:22:45] Speaker A: Superboy assumed he was Kryptonian because he had amnesia. Mon El had amnesia. And because he landed on a Monday, they named him Mon El. They did find out eventually that he was not Kryptonian, but Daxa Mite. He had visited Krypton shortly before it exploded, and so he had met Jor El and then came to Earth. Daxomites, of course, have the same physiology as Kryptonian, so that's why he has superpowers when under a yellow sun. However, Daxomites are allergic. Not allergic. Lead is their version of Kryptonite. [00:23:29] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:23:29] Speaker A: And so, since Earth is full of lead, Mon El was dying. So Superboy sent him into the Phantom Zone for his own protection, to keep him alive, where he stayed for the next 1,000 years. [00:23:45] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:23:45] Speaker A: Until he was released in the 30th century when Brainiac 5 developed an antidote for. For his lead poisoning. [00:23:52] Speaker B: Wow. [00:23:53] Speaker A: Yeah, it's really heavy duty. [00:23:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:59] Speaker A: Now, they've managed to raise Mon El on the space scanner, but since his super senses aren't tuned into Earth, Brainiac 5 is going to tell him. Tell us what he's up to. [00:24:09] Speaker B: He left the Legion to become a space explorer. He's cleared the way for colonization of many new worlds and saved the lives of hundreds of colonists by rigging planets of all sorts of dangers. [00:24:20] Speaker A: Yes, it was Mond's great dream to explore space and make its unknown reaches safe for colonists. I'm glad to see it fulfilled. Now, how much do you want to dive into the minutiae as we go? Might as well. [00:24:37] Speaker B: Yes. Okay. [00:24:38] Speaker A: So after the crisis on infinite Earths, when Superboy Superman had no longer been Superboy, but there still was the legion in the 30th century. So one of their ideas was to make Mon El the inspiration for the Legion rather than Superboy. And so Mon El was, in the 20th century, a space explorer and seeded other planets with colonists. And those colonists then developed super abilities. And that's how the Legion had all these teenagers with superabilities that all looked human. [00:25:27] Speaker B: Are there other people like you walking around the Earth with this? [00:25:30] Speaker A: There's Chuck from our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra, who could do a lot better job Explaining it than what I just did because I'm sure I got some facts wrong. [00:25:40] Speaker B: And you don't even know how to put salt into the water softener and when to keep it. [00:25:44] Speaker A: No, I don't know who's on the Supreme Court. I don't. Couldn't tell you. The Bill of Rights things. What are they called? Rights? [00:25:56] Speaker B: The Bill of Rights. Yeah, I do know. [00:25:59] Speaker A: The preamble to the Declaration of Independence. No, The Constitution. [00:26:03] Speaker B: I used to know it. I don't know it anymore. [00:26:06] Speaker A: Sure you do. We, the people, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, present to Tipa. Yeah, I can't even remember that. [00:26:15] Speaker B: But you like you. You know all this comic stuff, yet you can drive around with your car making noises and you're like, it'll work itself out. Right? [00:26:24] Speaker A: The car runs. That's all I need. [00:26:26] Speaker B: It's extraordinary. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:30] Speaker A: Suddenly, a communicator lights up. It's Night Woman calling. Superman's astonished Night Woman. Great Scott. It must be an emergency alert from the substitute heroes. [00:26:41] Speaker B: What does she do? Great Night. [00:26:43] Speaker A: She has superpowers, but only at night. [00:26:47] Speaker B: Good Lord. [00:26:49] Speaker A: What? [00:26:51] Speaker B: Just everybody has very specific names for their very specific powers. [00:26:55] Speaker A: Well, that's why she was in the substitutes, because she's useless in the daytime. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Is there at 11am to 2pm the man who has. [00:27:04] Speaker A: Let me think. [00:27:06] Speaker B: Midday. Midday man. [00:27:07] Speaker A: Oh, that's a good one, though. [00:27:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:09] Speaker A: You should come up with some heroes for the Legion. The tryouts. All right. She only wanted to check to see if Cosmic man had arrived because he had a bad OXO valve on his cruiser. [00:27:23] Speaker B: Like someone. Like you know how. Oh, damn it. Oh, I can't believe his name is escaping me. The one from the Hispanic character from the television version of Legion of. [00:27:40] Speaker A: Super Friends, El Dorado. [00:27:42] Speaker B: El Dorado. Yes. There's Siesta Lass. And she would be his little sister. And she only gains her superpowers during the hours when everybody else is taking a siesta. And that's how she has a super alternate ident, because no one's awake to see her do her powers. [00:28:05] Speaker A: Okay. I mean, that would track with the Legion. [00:28:07] Speaker B: She could probably get into the Legion. Siesta Lass. [00:28:12] Speaker A: She would get in for sure if she could make other people take a siesta at will. [00:28:16] Speaker B: Oh, no, no. She. She can only do her powers unnoticed. Like perform her superpowers unnoticed. [00:28:22] Speaker A: Okay, well, why don't you drop a sketch and we'll send it to the Legion outpost to see what the readers think. [00:28:28] Speaker B: All right. Thank you. Thanks for Indulging me in that. [00:28:31] Speaker A: Cosmic man had a bad OXO valve on his cruiser. So you see, I'm not the only one that ignores sounds on my car. They didn't have time to repair it after this emergency signal was received. Brainiac explains that she left the Substitute Legion years ago to marry Cosmic Man. [00:28:51] Speaker B: However. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Cosmic man is one of three married men who are still active Legionnaires. Here come the other two, Timberwolf and Lightningman. Now, Timberwolf was not yet. If we're going back to our teenage years, yes, Timberwolf had only appeared one other time where he was called Lone Wolf, and I'd have to refresh my knowledge on that. He thought he was a robot or something, but he actually was human. But he does have super strength and he is very agile and he is a superhero. And he fell in love with Light Lass when he made this previous appearance. And so now we don't know how, but he's become a full fledged Legionnaire. Changed his name to Timberwolf, which will actually happen in future. Yes. [00:29:49] Speaker B: To answer your other question, I'm just smiling. [00:29:51] Speaker A: Good. He's gonna call his wife Light Lady. Light lady, whom you'll remember as twin sister. Lightningman. [00:30:01] Speaker B: Yes. Now, does she make light or is she just light? [00:30:03] Speaker A: She makes things lightweight. [00:30:07] Speaker B: God. [00:30:08] Speaker A: What? [00:30:11] Speaker B: Go ahead. [00:30:11] Speaker A: She used to make lightning just like her brother. [00:30:15] Speaker B: But you can't both have the same power and be on a Legion. [00:30:17] Speaker A: You both have the same power because the Lightning Lad was dead, but then he comes back to life and. Yes, you can't have the same power. Well, Dream Girl had a premonition that Light Lads or Lightning Lads was going to die on a mission. So she used her Naltorian science to cause an explosion, which changed Light Lass's powers to the power to make things super lightweight. That way Lightning Lass didn't die and she could also stay in the Legion because now she had a different power. [00:30:51] Speaker B: My goodness, it's like a soap opera. [00:30:54] Speaker A: However, further in the future, Light Lass did get her lightning powers back and did join the Legion, even though Lightning Lad was still there. But I think he went on reserve status because he got married and had children. Okay. All right. Timberwolf explains that he's going to be detained on Earth for a while, so cancel all my appointments. [00:31:15] Speaker B: Okay. It's nice to know sexism is still alive and well and you know. [00:31:21] Speaker A: Yeah. And tell the kids hello from Uncle Garth, Sis. Suddenly, she spots Superman and wants to show him show off her children, Bryn and Bran, the twins, and Lonnie. Now since she and Timberwolf both acquired their powers artificially, the kids did not inherit them. But they're healthy and that's all that matters. And I have to cry foul on this because Ultra Boy also acquired his powers artificially. But his kids got powers. [00:31:55] Speaker B: Maybe they just didn't think that they 10 year olds reading this would actually scan. Keep up with that. [00:32:02] Speaker A: My brain's operating at a 10 year old level. That's the first thing I spotted. [00:32:07] Speaker B: All right, so moving right along, we've got to visit some more old friends. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Yes, Shrinking Violet on the planet Lalor. [00:32:15] Speaker B: She must make herself small. Or does she make things small? [00:32:18] Speaker A: She makes herself small. [00:32:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:32:22] Speaker A: She'S delighted to see Superman, who's just called to say hello. She has married Duplicate Boy, now Duplicate Man. Presumably she. [00:32:34] Speaker B: Hopefully she doesn't marry a child. [00:32:36] Speaker A: She quit the Legion when they got married. They are not sure yet to what extent their children have inherited their father's ability to duplicate any superpower. [00:32:48] Speaker B: But they're super cute. [00:32:50] Speaker A: They are super cute tykes. Now her power is inborn, so presumably at least one of the children has that power. Otherwise they can't visit her home planet because her home planet of Impsk periodically shrinks. And so everyone on the planet, of course, has to have the ability to shrink and grow back to normal. It was like old times. Superman says to see VI and the rest, but what about Colossal Man, Matter Eater man and the others? Are they still in the Legion? [00:33:24] Speaker B: I don't know why they switched to this other device. I mean, he explains it, but like he's able to use this equipment to connect with everybody. Yeah, right. And then now they have to go to a different kind of device. [00:33:37] Speaker A: Now they're going to the photon inverter. The inverters cause our quanta entities to appear. We can speak, hear and see through them and send them anywhere in the universe while we just stand here. [00:33:50] Speaker B: So it's just like using the visual monitor that they use. But now they can send their quanta bodies out. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Their quanta bodies? Yes. First stop is the plan Abysmal. Home of Tenzil Chem, the former Matter Eater Lad. But, but, but, but. Why are we in the capital city? Superman asks. Tenzil didn't live here. Well, Superman, people move. People move to the city. They go into the Bismolian equivalent of the White House, where Gas. He's the President, right? He left the Legion to serve his world. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Hold it. [00:34:32] Speaker A: Hold the call. [00:34:32] Speaker B: I'll call you back. Senator, something's just come up. [00:34:34] Speaker A: Wow. [00:34:35] Speaker B: Superman. Brainiac 5 what brings you here? [00:34:38] Speaker A: Just a social call. Tension. Superman's come to join us on a mission and we've been looking up some old pals. Now, this also does actually happen. Matriar Lad leaves the Legion because he's drafted into political service on his homeworld. [00:34:54] Speaker B: Okay. [00:34:55] Speaker A: I don't know that he ever became president. Doesn't this become canon, though? Well, yes, but I mean, I don't know that we ever got far enough that he became president. I'd have to ask Chuck about that. But he did actually. He was drafted into political service on his home world. He then briefly returned to the legion When Brainiac 5 went insane and was going to use the Miracle Machine to do something which is a very dangerous piece of equipment that the Legion had in their possession. So A Matter Eater Lad ate the Miracle Machine and then went insane also. [00:35:33] Speaker B: Wow. [00:35:34] Speaker A: But then he was cured later from. [00:35:37] Speaker B: Years of psychotherapy or what. [00:35:40] Speaker A: I think Brainiac 5 once a Brainiac 5 was saying again, he cured him somehow. There's been so much that happened in the Legion of Superheroes, Rob. You don't even know. Now, where are they going next? The Cosmic Directorate, which is a huge metal sphere located at the center of the known universe. Headquarters of the Intergalactic High Council, which preserves the peace between worlds. The Cosmic Directorate, where we find Colossal Man. [00:36:17] Speaker B: Colossal man wearing a jerkin jumper. [00:36:20] Speaker A: And he's got a beard. [00:36:22] Speaker B: Beard? Yes. [00:36:23] Speaker A: He directs the Intergalactic Guard. Turns out he was forced to quit the Legion because an injury robbed him of his size increasing powers. But the Legion gave me the experience I needed to land this job. [00:36:40] Speaker B: That's good. [00:36:41] Speaker A: That's great. Another journey through space on the planet Xantho. That should be Xanthu. They meet Mr. And Mrs. Tom Kalor, the former Dream Girl and Star Boy who both quit the Legion and settled on Starman's homeworld, where he's become an astronomer just like his good old dad. Next stop, the planet Karg Karg, home of Chuckle Newtain. [00:37:12] Speaker B: Bouncing Boy. [00:37:13] Speaker A: Bouncing Boy. He lost his bouncing power again. But he didn't care when Duodamsel agreed to marry him. We came to her planet and I got a police job. And they've had a baby who inherited his mother's power to split into triplicate. As you recall, she used to be Triplicate Girl, but one of her bodies died and the other survived. Then finally. Oh, and that does happen actually, in the future. [00:37:44] Speaker B: Why haven't they made a Legion of Superheroes movie? [00:37:49] Speaker A: It would. I don't know. They did have a Cartoon show for a while. And the characters. If you recall, some of the characters Brainiac 5 and Mon El appeared on Supergirl television show. Yes, I remember Mon El. He was dreamy. What was I saying? Yeah. Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel do marry. [00:38:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:14] Speaker A: In. On panel. [00:38:16] Speaker B: Okay. It's a FedEx truck. [00:38:18] Speaker A: As do Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl, both in special issues. Nice. Returning to headquarters, Superman sees Polar Man. He was the leader of the substitutes, but now he's in the Legion. Seems with so many members quitting, the Legion and the substitute Heroes, the two groups merged. [00:38:41] Speaker B: That's why they needed something to take up an entire city block. [00:38:44] Speaker A: Yes. Now, Cosmic man, who was the Legion's first leader, is now leader again. Do you know how they choose their leader? [00:38:56] Speaker B: I'm sure it's not through acts of violence until the person who's the strongest comes out on top. [00:39:01] Speaker A: Well, you're very, very close. I am? They have the Cosmic Chance Machine, which is a little model of the solar system. And they spin it and spin it fast. And when a planet flies out, whoever it hits in the head. [00:39:12] Speaker B: Are you not. Are you making that up? [00:39:15] Speaker A: I'm not. [00:39:16] Speaker B: You are. [00:39:17] Speaker A: No, I am not. [00:39:21] Speaker B: They spin a model of solar. [00:39:23] Speaker A: They spin a model of the solar system, and the planets fly out and strike people in the head. I mean, now. They do it by vote now. But in the early days. [00:39:32] Speaker B: That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. [00:39:34] Speaker A: Listen, you don't know how the 30th century works. Obviously, there's been a robot apocalypse in between then and now. As you know, the Metal Men caused robot apocalypse. [00:39:44] Speaker B: Yes. [00:39:46] Speaker A: Anyway, the Legion has been under attack. That's why they called Superman. They don't know who it is. [00:39:52] Speaker B: But wait a second. [00:39:53] Speaker A: What? [00:39:53] Speaker B: I've always just assumed that the Metalman caught. Your theory of the Metalman causing a robot apocalypse was a joke. [00:40:02] Speaker A: Oh, it's my own theory, but I'm certain that's what happened. [00:40:06] Speaker B: In the context of us reading this comic. I just had this moment where I was like, wait, this joke we've had for years, is this actually founded in real canon? Like, did that happen? [00:40:15] Speaker A: Hope? I wish. [00:40:16] Speaker B: Oh, okay, go ahead. [00:40:18] Speaker A: They don't know who's doing the attacking, but whoever it is knows all the Legion secrets. He avoids every booby trap. He knows exactly where each weak point in our defenses are. He has done untold damage. And I'm going to show it all to you on this film strip right now. The lab has been smashed and destroyed, for which the attacker had to pass Their most intricate defense layout. The safe was ripped open. And our formulae and blueprints worth millions have been not stolen, but torn up. Same story in the arsenal. Nothing stolen, but everything wrecked. [00:40:57] Speaker B: Everything's wrecked. The spaceport, not the space fort. [00:41:01] Speaker A: Right. Spaceport again. Total destruction. All we know is that we failed. And if this sabotage continues, the Legion will be out of business. No. That's why all available members, as well as Superman, have been called in. Well, what's your plan, boss? Cosmic man orders everyone to be on 24 hour guard duty, taking turns sleeping. Except for Superman, who needs no sleep. We'll let our enemy make the first move. And when he does, we'll stop him. [00:41:33] Speaker B: Doesn't Superman need to sleep once in a while to just to dream? [00:41:37] Speaker A: Very good for psychological health. We discussed that last week. I'm so proud of you. [00:41:42] Speaker B: I wouldn't give me that much praise. It was literally last week that we talked about that. [00:41:47] Speaker A: Meanwhile, in a hidden base directly beneath the huge Legion headquarters, this saboteur is watching them. [00:41:55] Speaker B: How come they don't know he's below them? [00:41:59] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:42:00] Speaker B: Right, Because, I mean, I know how this is going to end, but it's like really he's below them? [00:42:06] Speaker A: Well, he does know all the security secrets, so he can probably obscure his presence. He knows all their secrets, including the secret of how to monitor them right through their insulated headquarter walls. [00:42:20] Speaker B: I guess he has little models because he gets angry and he squishes him. Kind of like are fidget spinners. [00:42:28] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, I assumed he had, like, ripped up this control panel that he's sitting at or something. [00:42:33] Speaker B: He had to rip up his own control panel. [00:42:35] Speaker A: So they think Superman will. Bringing Superman will stop me, eh? Well, they're wrong. Dead wrong. Nothing could prevent me from exacting my revenge. Nothing. [00:42:44] Speaker B: And so two weeks pass without any sign of the unknown assailant. Until finally, er. [00:42:50] Speaker A: Brainiac. I'm sorry, but I can only remain here one more week. Then I must return. How does he get it? [00:42:58] Speaker B: Doesn't matter how long he remains. [00:43:00] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:43:00] Speaker B: He's going back and forth in time. It doesn't even matter. [00:43:03] Speaker A: I mean, I guess if he goes back to the Daily Planet and he's noticeably older, that would be off putting to a nosy dame like Lois Lane. [00:43:16] Speaker B: You didn't have those gray hairs the last time you were here. Where have you been? [00:43:19] Speaker A: You've been to the future. You're Superman. All right. Just then the emergency monitor rings its commissioner of the science police, who reports that the elevated expressway between the air terminal and Grand Central Spaceport is collapsing. Hundreds of people are trapped. We can't reach them in time. Only Superman can save them. [00:43:41] Speaker B: I love what Brainiac 5 says in response. [00:43:47] Speaker A: All right. Kind of a dick move, Commissioner. There's a clubhouse full of superheroes here. [00:43:54] Speaker B: He doesn't say Superman will get on it right away or we'll help you right away. Yes, Commissioner. He says er, alright. [00:44:01] Speaker A: Er. [00:44:03] Speaker B: Or ellipsis. All right. [00:44:07] Speaker A: Well, it's because he suspects that this is a diversion and instead he sends Cosmic men, Polarman and Elementman. Think you three can handle it? [00:44:18] Speaker B: Well, they barely do. Barely. As a matter of fact, they only treat the symptom and leave the people for the police to deal with. [00:44:30] Speaker A: So Cosmic man uses a magnetic repellent to slow down the collapse of the bridge. [00:44:39] Speaker B: Polarman builds ice pillars. [00:44:40] Speaker A: Ice pillars. But they can't possibly support the massive trestle. [00:44:45] Speaker B: So Element Mint changes the ice pillars to steeeeeeel. I mean, a temporary solution, right? [00:44:52] Speaker A: And honestly, they could have just sent Element Mint because he could have turned the air to steel. Or you know what? He could have turned the trestle to steel and caught the people when they fell down over to air. [00:45:03] Speaker B: Polarman could have just created slides for people to slide down safely down to the ground. [00:45:08] Speaker A: Well, they would have been cold then. [00:45:10] Speaker B: Well, I guess the train would have collapsed. The trestle would have collapsed in two. I guess they could have. [00:45:17] Speaker A: The Element man could have made giant pillows under the trestle. Airbags. [00:45:25] Speaker B: Sure. I like the idea of the slide though. [00:45:28] Speaker A: That's a good idea. [00:45:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:30] Speaker A: Honestly, why wouldn't the train have built in escape slides anyway? [00:45:36] Speaker B: Why is it up so high? [00:45:38] Speaker A: Because it's coming from the something to Grand Central Spaceport. It's coming from the air terminal going to Grand Central Spaceport. [00:45:51] Speaker B: Let's not dissect this too much. [00:45:53] Speaker A: And everyone knows in the future all the infrastructure is built up high because underneath is a terrible slum and sewers and where all the poor people live. [00:46:04] Speaker B: Service industry. [00:46:05] Speaker A: Yes. Meanwhile, back at the headquarters, a blackout. The main power plant has been destroyed. [00:46:13] Speaker B: I'm surprised there wasn't one of the members of the Legion available just to light up the room. Because it doesn't happen like the lights go out and then the backup center goes out. [00:46:24] Speaker A: Sun Boy. That's what you're thinking of? [00:46:26] Speaker B: No, I was like. When I was reading this, I was at the bottom of the page, I was like, well I'm sure one of the them has the ability to light up the room. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Cuz you Were thinking it would be light last. No, sorry, no. [00:46:35] Speaker B: She only has the ability to make. [00:46:36] Speaker A: But why? It's too bad she quit because she could have made the train super lightweight. Just floated it away. [00:46:42] Speaker B: They wouldn't have needed three people for that. No. [00:46:46] Speaker A: All right. Brainiac 5 goes for the auxiliary power, but it's out, too. He sends Lightning man to make repairs. Timberwolf. I hate to be redundant, but we can't see. [00:47:01] Speaker B: You'd think being Timberwolf, he could see. [00:47:03] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. Now, here comes the saboteur. He can see and he intends to use his advantage to the fullest. Timberwolf goes to stop him, but he can't see, as we learned. As though he gets punched in the face really hard. Really hard. [00:47:22] Speaker B: Bitch slapped. [00:47:23] Speaker A: Yes. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Bitch slapped. Hand slapped. [00:47:28] Speaker A: Brainy. [00:47:28] Speaker B: The person is very, very strong. [00:47:31] Speaker A: Yes. Brainiac5 observes that he must be as strong as Superman or Mon El. [00:47:36] Speaker B: Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Brainiac 5 gets bit slapped. [00:47:40] Speaker A: Oh, yes, correct. [00:47:41] Speaker B: Oh, I love a good bitch slap in a comic. [00:47:45] Speaker A: Now, Saturn Woman tries to use her ESP powers, but it's no use. The hood he's wearing has some kind of insulation that her thought beams can't penetrate. [00:47:54] Speaker B: No. But in comes a really, really good panel. [00:48:00] Speaker A: Superman. Yes. Superman is in shadow, but you see his heat vision coming out of his eyes. Get him, Superman. That was Saturn Woman. All right. This attacker grabs Saturn Woman, grabs her by the neck and pins an arm behind her back. He's gonna snap her neck. She can't get loose. She elbows him in the gut, but his body is as hard as steel. He makes Superman promise to let him escape or he will be forced to take Saturn Woman as hostage. Superman promises, and we know that Superman's word is good. So this guy drops Saturn Woman and busts through the wall, promising to return. The other legionnaires return. A temporary power source has rigged up. [00:48:55] Speaker B: What? Well, when I read this. Going to. Before we go back, before we move on to the legionnaires, when I read this and I saw him, the assailant. [00:49:05] Speaker A: Yes. [00:49:06] Speaker B: Holding Saturn Girl. [00:49:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:08] Speaker B: Saturn Woman. [00:49:08] Speaker A: Yes. [00:49:10] Speaker B: I had a brief moment. I thought, you know, I've seen other people die in this comic. He could literally. We might be. He could snap her neck. Yeah, we might see that. [00:49:21] Speaker A: Yeah. But we didn't. [00:49:23] Speaker B: No, I wasn't hoping for it, but I was a little uneasy because I thought, well, this is the kind of comic where we would see something horrible. [00:49:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:32] Speaker A: That's the sign of true quality writing when you actually Are fearful that a character, a long standing character, might die. [00:49:41] Speaker B: And I'm not reading with a 10 year old brain. [00:49:43] Speaker A: No. This, of course, was written by Jim Shooter, who we've discussed. He was at this time, I think, 14 years old writing this comic, so. But he's got the mind of a genius. All right. Timberwolf is going to be hospitalized for a while. Saturn Woman's got her arm in a sling. No one can figure out how the Raider got inside, but they do know that the security can be bypassed by anyone knows how, namely a Legionnaire. So now they're going to go through all the members, past and present, to see if any have criminal records or. [00:50:26] Speaker B: If they've been associated with criminals since leaving the Legion. So they go to their card catalog. [00:50:31] Speaker A: Yes. [00:50:33] Speaker B: And computer. [00:50:36] Speaker A: Now we do have two previous Legion candidates who were accepted but turned out to be evil. Dynamo Boy, who was not invulnerable, so it can't be him. And Nemesis, Kid, who can adopt any ability needed to defeat any foe, but only one foe at a time. So he could not have fought the whole group of them to a standstill. They're both they. But they're both evil. Presumably in prison that night as a dejected Superman wanders among the monuments on the headquarters grounds. Wait a minute. Dead Legionnaires. Our battle. That's it. Everything ties together. I've solved the mystery, and now I know who the mysterious vandal is. [00:51:29] Speaker B: Superman is so smart. Well, he's super smart. [00:51:32] Speaker A: He's super smart. However, usually it's someone else, probably Batman figuring out and then Superman. [00:51:39] Speaker B: One of them takes credit for the other person's thinking, is it Batman that takes credit or Superman that takes credit? [00:51:43] Speaker A: It's Superman. It's Batman solves the mystery. And Superman's like, yeah, oh, yeah. I was just about to say that. I'm pretty sure I thought of it first. [00:51:51] Speaker B: So in this case, Superman actually thought. [00:51:53] Speaker A: Actually solves the mystery. In his underground base. The saboteur is raging. He pounds the desk. Now that Superman has foiled some serious. [00:52:06] Speaker B: Anger management issues, yes, he does. [00:52:09] Speaker A: But he's not going to foil me again. Until now, I've merely been toying with the Legion. But soon it will be time for me to destroy them. [00:52:16] Speaker B: I couldn't figure out if he was dressing or undressing in that panel. Looked like he was pulling off a hoodie over the, like a. Not a zip front hoodie, just a total sweatshirt, a hooded sweatshirt. Trying to pull it off over his head. [00:52:28] Speaker A: Well, he did have. I mean, in the previous Panel. It's dark, but it does look like he does have some kind of sweatshirt on. [00:52:36] Speaker B: Well, he's far underground. He probably, like you, is very cold all the time. [00:52:39] Speaker A: Like. Yes, yes. And like you now, I'm learning for. [00:52:42] Speaker B: The first time in this room. In this room. That's why there's this little space heater over there. Because I always. When I. When I'm in here for a while, I turn it on. [00:52:52] Speaker A: Later at the hq, Superman goes into the radiation free storage room where Cosmic man is, tells his theory, which we still don't know. [00:53:04] Speaker B: I love that. That was clearly for the reader. I mean, it says radiation free storage, impervious to radar scanner monitor. That's for us. Yes, because no one will put that on their door. [00:53:14] Speaker A: No, but it's safe. Because it is impervious to radar scanning monitors. It's safe for Superman to tell Cosmic man what he's figured out. And so, as the days continue to pass, Brainiac 5 has had it. Why are we all just standing around? Why don't we do something, Cosmic Man? Cosmic man says we are doing something. Calm down, Brainiac 5. We're guarding the HQ. Guarding? [00:53:41] Speaker B: Don't you remember what happened to Timberwolf last time we tried that? Are you going to sit here and get. [00:53:45] Speaker A: Let us get. [00:53:46] Speaker B: Wait, are you going to sit here and get creamed again? [00:53:49] Speaker A: I'm in charge and I say we guard. Okay, we wait for him to finish us off. But if I were leader. [00:53:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's an interesting little writing there, right? It's a little. It throws us aside. Yeah, yeah. [00:54:03] Speaker A: And it's not even Challengers of the Unknown or Doom Patrol where everyone's all screaming. [00:54:07] Speaker B: It's almost like the writer. Yes, Shooter, Jim Shooter, is trying to throw us off. Like, oh, is Brainiac 5 a double agent? Is something. Oh, do you know what I mean? When I read this, I thought that. I thought, oh, wait a second. Is Brainiac 5 the saboteur? [00:54:25] Speaker A: That's interesting. I mean, that didn't occur to me because I knew how this story ended already. But that's interesting that you had that. [00:54:33] Speaker B: Reaction twice in this comic when I was. And I don't often do this. I normally sort of suffer through, like, a bad marriage. [00:54:40] Speaker A: Right. [00:54:41] Speaker B: But I. [00:54:41] Speaker A: You're on vacation, right? [00:54:44] Speaker B: Twice in this comic, I was like, oh, interesting. Oh, she could. [00:54:48] Speaker A: He could. [00:54:48] Speaker B: He could snap her neck. And this time I was like, oh, he's Brainiac 5, the secret saboteur. And I would go back in the comic and see if I could figure it out. [00:54:57] Speaker A: Interesting, right? Huh. [00:55:00] Speaker B: So it's a sign of good writing. [00:55:02] Speaker A: Meanwhile, unknown to the legionnaires, the saboteur has returned. He's going to break into the ventilation control room. That doesn't sound good. He's planting a reflex gas bomb, setting the timer, and then, poof. The beginning of the end for the superheroes. And at the main meeting room, suddenly, Brainiac 5, element men and satter Woman are starting to feel strange. [00:55:28] Speaker B: Do you suppose that's like the gas bomb has, like, Captain Butler's gas in it? Because that would make you feel strange and slow you down. [00:55:36] Speaker A: It would, yeah. Of course. That has a distinct odor. [00:55:39] Speaker B: So you're right. [00:55:40] Speaker A: They would probably be alerted to the presence of gas before they conked out. All right. Superman's unaffected, of course, but he does. His super sensitive nostrils detect the scent of gas in the air. And his microscopic vision shows it's a reflex inhibiting vapor designed to delay the transfer of nerve impulses at the synapses between the neurons. [00:56:03] Speaker B: Correct. Superman. Yells the saboteur. Who's the artist on this? [00:56:08] Speaker A: Curt Swan. [00:56:10] Speaker B: And Curt Swan is not the one who draws Superman like he's a stick figure. Like he's a. [00:56:15] Speaker A: No, that's Wayne Boring. [00:56:17] Speaker B: Because I wanted to comment that I think the art is very good. [00:56:26] Speaker A: It is indeed. [00:56:30] Speaker B: My favorite panel so far is the one of Superman coming, and he's backlit going into the room, and you see the heat vision coming out. Yes, really, really good. But there have been several of these where there's a character in motion that just looks fantastic. This is one of them of the saboteur come breaking through the wall, pinning Superman with kryptonite staples to the wall. And look at that. The way the saboteur is drawn. [00:56:55] Speaker A: Yes. [00:56:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:57] Speaker A: Yes. Kurt Swan was the definitive Superman artist through most of the 60s and the 70s and into the 80s. Even when he's not drawing the interior, he draws lots and lots of covers for Superman. Action. Superboy, Legion, etc. Now that these other goofballs are gassed, the saboteur can. Oh, well, we didn't mention that. He pins Superman to the wall with kryptonite staples. [00:57:30] Speaker B: And apparently he's very strong because he throws these giant staples that pins Superman to the wall. And that's it. Of course, it's green kryptonite. So Superman is weak. He could be killed from it, Right? [00:57:40] Speaker A: Yes. Now he can take his time disposing of the others. Let's get him. Saturn Woman says, but she's. They're at reduced speed. They Couldn't catch a turtle. Element man tries to use his power to change the floor to gas beneath the saboteur. But he can't. It's too slow. [00:58:01] Speaker B: The saboteur punches him. [00:58:03] Speaker A: Punches him and pours radioactive serum over his head, which temporarily steals his power. Here comes Lightning Man. He shoots him with lightning. The bolts have no effect, but strangely, they seem to be attracted to the Saboteur's body. [00:58:21] Speaker B: Mm. [00:58:25] Speaker A: The saboteur rips a piece out of the wall, throws it at Lightning man, and then chains him up with rubber chains. So he's come prepared. The gas, though, because he ripped a piece out of the wall, the gas is starting to dissipate, so the others come after him. He yanks up the floor. He's very strong, like a tablecloth. To throw them off balance, he puts a metal blindfold on Saturn Woman, which blocks her telepathic powers. [00:58:58] Speaker B: And then. Puts an old ball and chain around her. [00:59:00] Speaker A: Puts a ball and chain around her. [00:59:01] Speaker B: Wants you to get married. [00:59:03] Speaker A: He steals Breeding. [00:59:04] Speaker B: That's not as good of a marriage show. That's good enough. By the way, I'm very happily married. I just want to say thank you. I just was trying to think. [00:59:11] Speaker A: What is that? [00:59:12] Speaker B: Where do we get that joke from? A bit like our marriage. Absolutely fabulous. No, Absolutely fabulous. Which is when Edwina's talking to first husband or second husband? Second husband. [00:59:23] Speaker A: Second husband. Yes. He takes Brainiac's five's belt, which allows Brainiac five to have a force field. [00:59:31] Speaker B: Oh, okay. You would know that. I didn't know that. [00:59:33] Speaker A: Oh, yes. Polar man creates a block of ice to freeze him to the floor. But the guy's too strong. He busts right out of it. And a chunk of harder than steel ice flies at Bowler man and knocks him unconscious. [00:59:50] Speaker B: Wow. [00:59:50] Speaker A: Now, Cosmic man, who strangely doesn't seem to have recovered from the gas. But anyway, I'll throw this flame pellet to create a ring of fire to nullify his magnetism. We learn in a footnote that spontaneous magnetization decreases as heat increases. I didn't know that. [01:00:11] Speaker B: I didn't know that either. [01:00:12] Speaker A: He's done it. Ha, ha, ha. I've defeated the entire Legion. They're all at my mercy. Are they really? Saturn Woman wants to know why. What have we ever done to you? [01:00:24] Speaker B: You'll never know. This bomb will destroy your entire installation and take you with it. And to make my revenge even sweeter, I won't give you the satisfaction of knowing why. [01:00:34] Speaker A: Don't bet on it, buster. You don't have to tell us who you are. We already know it's Superman. He's not affected by the green Kryptonite at all. It should have killed him by now. But how are you alive? [01:00:48] Speaker B: Because I'm not Superman. [01:00:50] Speaker A: I'm Cosmicman, disguised as Superman. Now that you're off balance, I'll magnetize you to the wall while I free my Legionnaire buddies. Turns out Superman figured out the identity. And then they used an old trick he and Batman once sprung on Dr. Light. Disguising ourselves as each other so you'd hit us with the wrong weapons. Of course, Superman was still close enough to the Greek Kryptonite to be weakened. That's why it looked like he was still alive. [01:01:19] Speaker B: But they were prepared for anything. [01:01:21] Speaker A: They were. [01:01:22] Speaker B: What is this guy? Magnus? Who's the magnet? Cosmic Man. Cosmic man wore Superman's indestructible suit. Yes, and he used miniature nose filters. [01:01:31] Speaker A: So the gas didn't affect him. And when Cosmicman mentioned analyzing the gas, it was really me using super ventriloquism. All right, the rest of the gang wants to know who this joker is, so they rip off the hood. [01:01:49] Speaker B: He has a mascot under his face. [01:01:51] Speaker A: Great space dragons. It's Pharaoh Lad, grown up. But he's dead. [01:01:58] Speaker B: So he is. This is his twin brother. [01:02:00] Speaker A: It turns out he has a twin brother. But why does he hate us? Well, now that his hood is off, Saturn Woman senses that he doesn't really hate them. He's under someone else's control. She's gonna use her mental powers to free his mind. She's done it. [01:02:19] Speaker B: Does something. [01:02:21] Speaker A: And then he's able to tell his story. His name is Douglas Nolan. Pharoah Lads twin brother. They were born mutants with the power to turn their bodies to iron. But their faces were grotesquely inhuman, so they wore full face masks at all times. Andrew. Pharaoh Lad joined the Legion, but there was a strange psychic bond between them. Of course, we know all about the strange psychic bond between twins. [01:02:49] Speaker B: Oh, yes, yes. [01:02:50] Speaker A: When he died, miraculously, I did not simultaneously die, like all twins do. [01:02:58] Speaker B: All twins do, yes. [01:02:59] Speaker A: But I instinctively knew that he was dead. And I hated you all because I knew he was on a mission for the Legion. Which means you sent him to his death. But I'm going to avenge him by destroying every last superhero years in the future. [01:03:16] Speaker B: But he learned how his brother had willingly sacrificed himself to save the galaxy from the Sun Eater. [01:03:23] Speaker A: Yes. [01:03:23] Speaker B: And when he saw the great monuments springing up honoring him, his gratitude, his attitude changed. [01:03:29] Speaker A: He became proud of his brother. Proud that he was a Member of the Legion. But then, just recently, my old hatred flared up. It was uncontrollable. I was obsessed with your destruction. So he decided to wear a padded suit and hood to disguise himself. So they will never know who their executioner is. Of course, use the psychic twin bond. He knows all the Legion secrets. Of course. [01:03:55] Speaker B: As the story ended, he said, luckily, who are we talking about causing? [01:04:00] Speaker A: Well, this is Superman in cosmic uniform. [01:04:03] Speaker B: Luckily, I recalled that Feralad once mentioned a twin brother. Checking the records, I deduced your identity. [01:04:08] Speaker A: Oh, he's fainted. The strain of mental liberation was too much for him. Well, Brainiac's going to call an ambulance. [01:04:19] Speaker B: Sometimes you tell a joke that's so good I am so liberated that I pass out. It's too much from laughter. It's too much for me. Yes. [01:04:28] Speaker A: Brainiac 5 calls an ambulance. They'll have to put him under medical psycho care until he fully recovers. Now, they still don't know who put him under their control. But Saturn Woman has a guess. [01:04:43] Speaker B: Meanwhile, in an undersea base thousands of. [01:04:46] Speaker A: Miles away, it's the lair of the legion of super villains. Lightning Lord. Saturn Queen and Cosmic King are the legion of super villains. Lightning Lord is the older brother of Lightning man and Light Lass. Light Lady. Okay, all right. It was they. Well, it was Saturn Queen who was responsible. Now she's lost control of his mind, and they've decided they want to kill the Legionnaires themselves. Which can be arranged. As a matter of fact, Lightning Lord is just now formulating the plans for their final battle. [01:05:31] Speaker B: So it's a cliffhanger. [01:05:33] Speaker A: A cliffhanger. And I did think about doing both issues in one episode, but the next issue wraps up the story and then has a totally charming separate story, which we really should cover. So I didn't do it. We're just gonna have to wait. [01:05:53] Speaker B: Nice. [01:05:54] Speaker A: Better be here next issue. Now, did I miss any trivia for you? Do you have any questions about the future Legion of Superheroes? [01:06:07] Speaker B: Just wondering when this was written. In 1967. [01:06:13] Speaker A: Well, cover date is March, so it was probably written December. January. [01:06:20] Speaker B: Okay, when it was written or no, sorry, it's written. [01:06:25] Speaker A: It would. [01:06:26] Speaker B: Sorry. [01:06:26] Speaker A: It would have been on sale probably in January, so it was probably written in the fall sometime. [01:06:31] Speaker B: Okay. That it was how I asked the question. That wasn't the question. Okay, when it was written, do they realize that what they're writing about the future then becomes canon? Or do they? [01:06:42] Speaker A: Probably not. So if we look at the marriages, all of these couples are current. Were currently couples. But the only Ones who marry on the panel would be Lightning Man, Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl, Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel. I don't know that Ultra Boy and Phantom Girl ever married on panel, but someone's going to tell us. [01:07:17] Speaker B: Because I was thinking like, what if here when they wrote this, then later on in the 80s or you know, 90s, they actually killed these people off before they actually got married? And then I suppose it would have been solved by the Crisis on Infinite Earth, you know, sort of resetting the buttons and all that stuff. [01:07:32] Speaker A: Yes. Now, Timberwolf and Light Lass broke up because she mistakenly thought that Timberwolf and Saturn Girl were having an affair. [01:07:48] Speaker B: Oh. [01:07:49] Speaker A: Which was after Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad were married. [01:07:53] Speaker B: Okay. [01:07:53] Speaker A: They were not. It was all a misunderstanding, but she broke up with him. And then after the Crisis on Infinite Earths, she and Shrinking Violet got together. Oh, uh huh. [01:08:08] Speaker B: Okay. [01:08:10] Speaker A: But we're not going to take into the post crisis into account for our purposes here today. Now, if we look at the COVID Chemical King would join the Legion actually at the same time as Timberwolf. They were both in the Legion Academy and they both joined the Legion at the same time. And he did in fact sacrifice his life to Prevent World War 7. Quantum Queen is a member of another group in the 30th century called the Wanderers. To my knowledge, she never, at least pre crisis, never joined the Legion, nor did she die. Shadow Woman, or Shadow Lass, as she would be when she joined the Legion, will join the Legion in about two years from this issue, also written by Jim Shooter. However, when she's reintroduced, she has blue skin because she's from the planet Talok 8, where everyone has blue skin. I'll come back to that in a minute. Reflecto does appear in the future at a time when Ultra Boy has been ousted from the Legion because he's accused of murder, falsely accused of murder. He gets amnesia, comes back disguised as Reflecto, and Reflecto, quote, unquote, does die in a deal with the Molecule Master. But it's secretly Ultra Boy who does not die. He's alive and rejoins The Legion. Issue 300 of Superboy and the Legion of Superheroes. Actually, it's by that time it's called just. Legion of Superheroes reintroduces us to Douglas Nolan, who apparently had been in a coma in psycho treatment this whole time. Oh, and what he was doing in his coma was dreaming of alternate futures for the Legion of Superheroes. Oh, and so we don't actually know. In fact, I was researching on Mike's amazing World of DC Comics. And he postulates that this whole future is not actually the real future of the Legion. [01:10:45] Speaker B: Oh. [01:10:45] Speaker A: Even though lots of the things did happen. [01:10:48] Speaker B: Okay. [01:10:51] Speaker A: Anyway, as far as the dead people. Yes. They all do eventually appear and join and die. Most of them. Now, Shadow Woman, Shadow Lass, she is dating Mon El. And in the issue 300 where Douglas Nolan comes back, she, for some reason decides to paint her skin human flesh color. [01:11:17] Speaker B: Okay. [01:11:18] Speaker A: I guess to surprise Mon El with her new skin color. [01:11:22] Speaker B: Paint it though. [01:11:24] Speaker A: You know, full body makeup. Yes. And she. There is a battle on the science asteroid, but she does not die. She continues on to date mono. [01:11:39] Speaker B: Mm. And does she have to put makeup on all the time? [01:11:43] Speaker A: No, she does not. She's okay. Everyone is fine with her blue skin. [01:11:47] Speaker B: Okay. [01:11:51] Speaker A: However, I believe she's the only legionnaire to be Legionnaire. To be inducted in the midst of a battle rather than the normal application process. [01:12:01] Speaker B: Okay. [01:12:04] Speaker A: That'S also, someone's gonna have to. [01:12:06] Speaker B: Write in what's her powers? Does she make shadows? [01:12:08] Speaker A: She can make shadows. [01:12:10] Speaker B: Jesus Christ. [01:12:11] Speaker A: What? [01:12:11] Speaker B: She can make shadows. [01:12:13] Speaker A: I mean, she can make it pitch black. [01:12:16] Speaker B: Okay. All right, all right. She can't just, like, cast a shadow anywhere because that's really stupid. Right? [01:12:22] Speaker A: Correct. [01:12:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:12:23] Speaker A: Yes. No, she can absolutely rob an area of light. [01:12:29] Speaker B: Okay, that's good. [01:12:31] Speaker A: So you're gonna say, why doesn't she team up with Night Girl all the time? I don't know. Sounds like a good idea to me. [01:12:37] Speaker B: Yeah, sure. Well, as we can see, she is dead in the future. [01:12:43] Speaker A: She is also dead. Yes. No, she's not. Because she didn't die saving the science asteroid. [01:12:49] Speaker B: I know. [01:12:50] Speaker A: Because, yes, she was. Douglas Nolan was just dreaming of alternate futures that didn't actually happen. [01:12:56] Speaker B: Oh. [01:12:59] Speaker A: Are we clear? [01:13:00] Speaker B: I'm nearly asleep. [01:13:02] Speaker A: But you love this issue. [01:13:04] Speaker B: I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I really did enjoy it. I really, really did. Yeah. [01:13:09] Speaker A: This is one of those stories that I heard about long before I ever read the original. In fact, I think I read that issue number 300 way before I ever read this. [01:13:20] Speaker B: Okay. [01:13:21] Speaker A: But it was just like a legendary. The story. The Adult Legion. Oh, legendary story. Yes. So we will see the wrap up of this story next time we come to Adventure Comics. And next week for our last episode of 2025 Detective Comics with Batman and Robin and Elongated Man. [01:13:44] Speaker B: I wonder if Batman will solve something in. Superman will take credit for it. Oh, no, Robin won't be there. Sorry. Yes. You just said that. [01:13:50] Speaker A: No, Robin will do something idiotic as per his usual. Yes, you can find us on social media, ogocheckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. Our latest episode just dropped the other day and it's all about Saturday morning cartoons, so I believe this audience would enjoy it. Where was I? You could find us right back here next week. Oh, and you can check out drbob.coM-O-C-T-O-R-B-O-B-B.com because I've been doing my Kitchmas recipes and I'm on day 11, which we have to go film right now. [01:14:29] Speaker B: Indeed. [01:14:30] Speaker A: And special feature this year, Dr. Husband's been making depression air cocktails. Old timedy cocktails. Yeah. So it's been fun. I'll say it's been fun drinking them. Byeeee. [01:14:47] Speaker C: You don't have to be a politician? You can change it all with a sun and disposition to be heavy and spread it all around? If you find yourself a frownin' just turn it up upside down? When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine? You gotta give in one time? You gotta turn on the sunshine. Push those blues away. Man, this dialectic's too much.