Whoozis on First (House of Mystery 165)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, let's go. [00:00:04] Speaker A: You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, Hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. [00:00:21] Speaker A: Check. [00:00:21] Speaker B: Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, House of Mystery 165. Cover date March 1967. Cover price, $0.12. Cover artist, Jim Mooney. Edited by Jack Schiff. Featuring the Freak Superheroes, Written by Dave Wood. Art by Jim Mooney. And the Deadly Martian written by Jack Miller. Art by Joe Serta. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. [00:01:02] Speaker A: Go. [00:01:13] Speaker B: See how the fluffy clouds move by us See how the clouds move by See how the morning mist can hide us away Hide us away the day is so much. Criminal inventor Dr. Rigoro Mortis designs a super powered robot named Superhood. Working with Georgie Kraft's gang, Mortis uses Superhood to set traps for Littleville's mysterious superheroes, all of whom are secretly Robbie Reed. Meanwhile, Professor Arnold Hugo escapes from jail and steals a shipment of radium. Using the radium, Hugo creates a spray gun that turns the Martian Manhunter radioactive. Fearing that the radioactivity will kill people, John must avoid coming into contact with anyone. Confused. Don't worry. I'll be right back with Dr. Husband to explain everything. Dial H for Hero. Not one, not two, not three dial H for Hero. Over land or air or sea when there's a big crime fighting need just call boy inventor Robbie Reed. But be prepared to wait a while. Hold the line while Robbie dies. H E R o dial H Hero. Dial H4. [00:02:57] Speaker A: Hero. [00:02:59] Speaker B: Out of network. Charges may apply. Are you ready to talk about it yet or is it still too emotional? I think I'm ready. [00:03:06] Speaker A: Okay, I'm ready. [00:03:07] Speaker B: How many times did you cry? [00:03:10] Speaker A: At least four. Possibly five. [00:03:12] Speaker B: And were all of the crying jags crypto related? [00:03:17] Speaker A: Four of. If there's a questionable fifth one, then four of them were. Or three of them were. There was one that was not crypto related. [00:03:25] Speaker B: Which one? [00:03:27] Speaker A: With Clark sitting on the front bench with his father and his father told him how proud he was of him. That made me cry. [00:03:35] Speaker B: Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Oh, spoiler alert. By the way, for Superman 2025, which, if you haven't Seen yet. I don't know why you're listening to this program. [00:03:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Go see it. Yeah. It's amazing. [00:03:45] Speaker B: It's pretty good. [00:03:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm a sucker for crypto, so even though I'd seen the entire scene in the previews, I still cried when Crypto. [00:03:54] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:03:54] Speaker A: Yeah. For Superman and the opening movie. Yeah. [00:03:58] Speaker B: Opening of the damn movie. [00:03:59] Speaker A: Couldn't believe that. Yeah. [00:04:00] Speaker B: Didn't keep anything back. [00:04:02] Speaker A: No. [00:04:03] Speaker B: Well, it's terrific. I'll try not to give any spoilers anymore. We didn't really give any plot points away. [00:04:08] Speaker A: No. [00:04:08] Speaker B: But, yeah, go see it. [00:04:11] Speaker A: It was beautiful. [00:04:11] Speaker B: And guess what I bought today. [00:04:13] Speaker A: What? [00:04:13] Speaker B: Tickets for Fantastic Four, which aren't even a D.C. property, and yet I'm sporting their work because. Because of Pedro Pascal. Of course. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Of course. Oh, and I just want to say, and this is not a spoiler thing, I was reserved about going into the movie Superman about Guy Gardner, because I don't know the character of Guy Gardner very well. It was fantastic. [00:04:34] Speaker B: It was wonderful. [00:04:35] Speaker A: So was Mr. Terrific. [00:04:37] Speaker B: You know, Nathan Fillion. That should have been enough to sign on. [00:04:39] Speaker A: I know I should have trust. I should have trusted that Nathan Fillion wouldn't. Wouldn't sign on to something that wasn't. [00:04:43] Speaker B: Going to be good. It was brilliant. Yeah. Very good. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:49] Speaker B: I'm sure you can read online about all the positive reviews and interestingly, I'm. [00:04:53] Speaker A: Not reading anything about it. Go ahead. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Well, I. Obsessed. [00:04:58] Speaker A: I'm not saying that. [00:04:59] Speaker B: Oh, I wasn't talking to you. No, no, no, no, no. I was talking to our listener. [00:05:04] Speaker A: Okay, okay, Go ahead, please. [00:05:06] Speaker B: The positive reviews and the negative reviews all say the same thing, which is that it's goofy and fun and comic booky, which some people think that's a great thing. [00:05:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:16] Speaker B: Some people don't. And if you don't get out of the way. [00:05:20] Speaker A: Oh, and Alan Tudyk's voice is in there, too. [00:05:22] Speaker B: Oh, sure. He always voices Robitz. [00:05:25] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, he's wonderful. [00:05:26] Speaker B: He's a national treasure. [00:05:29] Speaker A: I wonder if Tudyk is a Welsh spelling of Tudor. [00:05:34] Speaker B: You mean to say that you could be related to Alan Tudyk? [00:05:37] Speaker A: I doubt it. [00:05:39] Speaker B: Well, let's just go with that. I think that's actually probably the truth. [00:05:42] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:43] Speaker B: And I'm gonna publicize it as such for our podcast. Now, we have an unfortunate situation in the neighborhood in that we have no connection anymore to the HOA board. And here's someone mowing during our recording time. [00:06:02] Speaker A: Oh, I know. Yes, listener. If you haven't been tuning into us for A while. Which I can't imagine why you would not be listening to us. But you know that I have. I have resigned from the HOA board. I have turned over the books, as it were, to the HOA president. I am no longer the treasurer after six years. Six years? [00:06:24] Speaker B: Eight. [00:06:24] Speaker A: No, we haven't lived here eight years. [00:06:26] Speaker B: Yes, we have. [00:06:27] Speaker A: No, we didn't move here until 20. 19. [00:06:29] Speaker B: Well, seven, then. No. 18. [00:06:31] Speaker A: Are you sure? 18. [00:06:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:06:33] Speaker A: Okay. So there you go. So after all that time I've been HOA treasure. [00:06:41] Speaker B: Yes. So now no more. [00:06:43] Speaker A: And it's wonderful. It's delightful. I don't have to do anything, and. [00:06:46] Speaker B: It'S just in the nick of time because I was outdoors recently and I heard chickens. You did? And if they're in earshot, that means they're in the development. And I know exactly who it is. I bet. But I can't do anything about it because I'm not. Yes. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Wow. I love that so much. I'm so happy. You know, I stepped off the HOA board because of all the controversies and the time that's being wasted and everything. Yes. I was just like, I don't have to. And I'm as the. As you've said before, the treasurer is the only officer that actually is constantly doing work for the hoa, paying bills and all sorts of things. So, yeah, I got tired of having my time wasted. And that's ridiculous. Constant discussions that provided no actionable items whatsoever. You know? [00:07:36] Speaker B: Well, I suppose there'll be a strongly worded flyer stuck illegally into our mailboxes in the near future. [00:07:42] Speaker A: Just a photograph of a chicken with a big circle and a red line to it. No chickens. [00:07:48] Speaker B: Or else we'll have a chicken carcass on the back porch one morning when the cat comes home. [00:07:53] Speaker A: Oh, could you have imagined how horrible that would be? You know, what surprises me is that we seriously, we live on 75 acres. [00:08:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:01] Speaker A: Right. There. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Aren't our acres to be listeners. [00:08:04] Speaker A: No. Our entire housing development backs up to 75 acres of woods. [00:08:09] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:09] Speaker A: Owned by the person behind. But we also are surrounded by farmland, so it's really quiet and lovely. [00:08:16] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:17] Speaker A: But our cat is an indoor outdoor cat, as you know, and he wears a GPS collar, so we know where he goes. There are all sorts of wildlife around us. There are deer, there are foxes, there are coyotes, there are owls and eagles. We've seen all of these things around here. [00:08:36] Speaker B: Sure. [00:08:37] Speaker A: All sorts of. I saw a giant snake the other day. It was a black snake. Delighted to see it. But I was like, there Are all sorts of things that could hurt our cat. [00:08:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:46] Speaker A: And he is living his best life. How is he not caught and hurt? [00:08:52] Speaker B: How have we not had each one of those creatures on our back porch? [00:08:56] Speaker A: We. What he brought. He brought us a mouse once. [00:08:58] Speaker B: A mouse Once. One time. [00:09:00] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:09:01] Speaker B: You'd think he'd be bringing in no birds. We got that birdhouse. [00:09:04] Speaker A: We got that bluebird house. He didn't touch them, thank God. We're very, very lucky. If anything happens to that cat, anything at all, we will not get another cat. Do you understand that? [00:09:13] Speaker B: Okay, yeah. No, I didn't want this one. [00:09:16] Speaker A: I know you didn't want this. We had this cat because I wanted it. And we also knew that once he got old enough, he was gonna figure out how to get in and out of that dog door, which is why we got the GPS collar. And I said, if anything happens to him, it's gonna be my fault. Cause we brought a cat into this house, and he's an indoor outdoor cat. We're not the only people that have them. And I don't want him to take the responsibility of bringing another poor cat into this house if anything happens to him. [00:09:37] Speaker B: Well, I know we'll probably get angry letters about it, but I asked the veterinarian all about it, and the veterinarian said, you know what? I think they're happier when they can go outside. [00:09:48] Speaker A: And if you want to send an angry letter, just so you know, folks. [00:09:50] Speaker B: Send it to a veterinarian. [00:09:51] Speaker A: Send it to a veterinarian. Yeah. I rescued this cat, and we already had two dogs who have, for their entire life, been trained to go in and out of a dog door to go to the bathroom out back so that we don't have to open the door for them all the time. And we do walk them all the time. [00:10:04] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:10:05] Speaker A: So we knew that bringing cat. That the cat would eventually learn, as he did, how to use the door, and that that was a risk, so. Boy. Okay, that's enough of a tangent for us today. Weather's a little bit milder this week, thank God. [00:10:18] Speaker B: Is it right? [00:10:19] Speaker A: You haven't been going out much during the day? [00:10:21] Speaker B: No, I don't leave that. [00:10:21] Speaker A: It is quite lovely. It's like I've been. Yes, Listener. I have been exercising in the morning. Although you'll be happy to know one particular listener that sends me annoying texts who's a dear, dear, dear friend of mine. I'm not running as much as I was these days because it just doesn't feel very good. [00:10:38] Speaker B: I thought you were training for a marathon. [00:10:39] Speaker A: I'm thinking about it's half marathon. And I'm thinking about that I may not do it because it is just wrecking my body. It is hurt. [00:10:47] Speaker B: Well, you know what my mother would say you ruined your. [00:10:50] Speaker A: How did she say that? [00:10:51] Speaker B: You're gonna ruin your fucking knees. Pardon my French. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Yes. So I've been walking, but. But it's been lovely in the mornings. Actually, it's not getting up to. It was getting up to like 87 or 90 degrees by 10am and it's not that lovely. [00:11:08] Speaker B: Well, global warming's real, you know. [00:11:11] Speaker A: I know. And Butler loves it when we go for walks too. He's poor. He's getting a little older now. [00:11:15] Speaker B: Sure, aren't we all? [00:11:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:17] Speaker B: You know what else is true? What else is true in a wacky, wacky world when Dr. Rigoro Mortis and superhood menace it and Robby spins his dial to become the freak superheroes. Whoses what'ses and houses? [00:11:35] Speaker A: Folks, if you want to know how to keep a marriage working, just listen to this podcast from the beginning to now, because how are you still making me read these ridiculous comics? I mean, some of them are delightful and funny and clever. This is a madcap torture. These stupid robots. The second story is good in this. [00:12:00] Speaker B: I mean, I thought this was kind of mild compared to some of the things we've read. [00:12:06] Speaker A: The best thing about having the House of Mystery dial age for hero is the song you made. [00:12:12] Speaker B: That's a pretty good song. It's a pretty good song. [00:12:15] Speaker A: All right, go ahead. There we go. It's a wacky world. Yeah, you already did that. [00:12:20] Speaker B: Superhood. A fantastic villain is on the loose, not to commit crimes, but to destroy the superheroes. And Robbie Reed, the boy with the bizarre device that transforms him into his superheroes, has never been on such a spot. For each time he spins the H dial, he becomes the zaniest, most unbelievable heroes you can possibly imagine. The freak superheroes. If you're new here, listener Robbie Reed is a young genius boy who lives with his grandfather and his grandfather's lover, Ms. Millie. And he has a lab shack out in the backyard. Anyway, he found this mysterious dial which has only certain letters on it, among them H E R O. And when he dials the letters H E R O, he becomes a superhero. For a limited amount of time, we. [00:13:18] Speaker A: Haven'T encountered a scenario where he is fighting a crime and his powers wear off. [00:13:26] Speaker B: We might have. When they revived the idea in the 80s, there was a very definite, like you could Only be a superhero for one hour and you could only then you had to wait another hour before you could be another superhero. [00:13:39] Speaker A: And am I right in remembering that he's never the same superhero again? [00:13:44] Speaker B: No, you are not. Because he has become Giant Boy twice. [00:13:50] Speaker A: Okay. All right. So he just never knows what superhero. [00:13:53] Speaker B: He never knows what superhero is going to become. He did become Plastic man, who was already an existing superhero one time. Otherwise, Plasticman. Sorry. [00:14:04] Speaker A: Oh, thank you. [00:14:04] Speaker B: Otherwise? Yes, it's a different superhero each time. And he never knows what it's going to be or if it's going to be applicable in fighting the crime in which he finds himself tasked with fighting. Oh, but it usually works out. [00:14:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:14:24] Speaker B: Also, the dial, if you're younger than 55 years old, it's an old timeity rotary phone dial which we had growing up. Although I do have a question about that because it seems to show him punching buttons later on in this issue. [00:14:42] Speaker A: Indeed it does. [00:14:43] Speaker B: Do you remember your childhood phone number? [00:14:47] Speaker A: Yeah, of course I do. [00:14:48] Speaker B: I do. And my grandmother's. [00:14:51] Speaker A: And 427-5263. [00:14:53] Speaker B: I believe somewhere in this house we still have my grandmother's black desk telephone which she leased from Ma Bell in 1942. [00:15:05] Speaker A: I don't know where it is, though. Maybe it's in the closet. [00:15:08] Speaker B: It's somewhere. I'll find it. [00:15:10] Speaker A: Along with that electric skillet. [00:15:14] Speaker B: Did you look for that today? No. [00:15:16] Speaker A: Listener. We had a little argument over this last night because we both. We were at a friend's house for dinner and they had an electric skillet and Dr. Husband or Dr. Bob looked at me and said, where's our electro skillet? Which we both recall with great fondness. [00:15:34] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:35] Speaker A: You know, I don't know. [00:15:37] Speaker B: Because I need it if I'm ever to make fried chicken. Which I've never made in my life. [00:15:41] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. Well, that's because I won't let you, will I? [00:15:45] Speaker B: No. [00:15:45] Speaker A: No. And why? [00:15:47] Speaker B: Because I'll burn the house down. [00:15:48] Speaker A: Yes. And it makes a huge mess. [00:15:51] Speaker B: Well, we could do it on the grill, couldn't we? [00:15:54] Speaker A: Yes. Let's take a vessel. [00:15:58] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:58] Speaker A: Fill it full of oil and put it over a live flame and put, you know, cold chicken in it, which will splatter the grease outside of the pot onto the flame. That's exactly how you cook. [00:16:12] Speaker B: People make fried chicken. People make it all the time. It has to be. [00:16:15] Speaker A: They do it in their house on an electric stove. [00:16:18] Speaker B: Well, then what's the problem? I can do that. I know. I'll get one of those air fryers. Everyone's talking about. [00:16:28] Speaker A: Have I told you how much I've enjoyed taking flute lessons lately? [00:16:33] Speaker B: No. I mean, actually, you probably have, but I'm sure the listener will be very interested. [00:16:41] Speaker A: Before we started this podcast, I was feeling a little melancholy, but I'm not now. [00:16:45] Speaker B: Good. [00:16:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Because, yeah, I really enjoy taking flute lessons. It's a long drive, I'll tell you what, an hour and 45 minutes. [00:16:53] Speaker B: Sure, if it's worth it, if it makes you happy. [00:16:55] Speaker A: But it's so. It's delightful. She is fun. She is fun. It's a lot of great, great. And for our fellow musicians out there, classical musicians, it is exercising a part of my brain that I don't often use, which is we are not. Both of us can read music, obviously, but she's training me to learn to learn tunes by ear because the idea is when you're playing with these folk instruments and sessions, you, you know, you. That's how it's. That's the tradition. It's passed on by ear, which is a different skill for me. I can read like that, as can you, but recalling long multi part tunes with slight variations is. It is, Is not something that I'm used to doing. So it's an interesting skill. [00:17:43] Speaker B: So, yeah, listening to this podcast, one would be led to believe that you're using every part of your brain all the time. [00:17:56] Speaker A: I have completely worn out my political capital today with tangents. I will not go on another tangent for those. For the one listener that we have that tunes in to hear the tension between the two of us and my tangents. And you're trying to get through this comic. I have satisfied that person enough glitter. [00:18:23] Speaker B: At Robbie Reed's lab shack in Littlesville. [00:18:26] Speaker A: Jesus, aren't you through this comic yet? Go ahead. [00:18:32] Speaker B: Robbie's admiring his H dial. It's made it possible for him to put the skids on crime. And as long as he has it, no criminal will know peace. I'll hit him with one superhero after another till they're all behind bars. [00:18:45] Speaker A: That panel that you just read looks like he's 37. [00:18:50] Speaker B: He's a mature lad for his age. Yes. [00:18:53] Speaker A: Yeah, he doesn't always look like that, but he does look like that in this panel. Sure, it's the lines, the inking, but. [00:19:00] Speaker B: Robbie can hardly be aware of the sinister plans that are being made against the superheroes at this very moment. For in an underground garage in nearby Central City. Is it that Central City? I don't know these. [00:19:13] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry. [00:19:14] Speaker B: I was ready to go ahead. [00:19:15] Speaker A: These superheroes have been bugging us long enough, so I've done something about it. But it will cost each of you 100 GS to buy in. [00:19:23] Speaker B: This reminds me of something I saw on YouTube today. Speaking of tangents, you know the actress Rose Marie who was on the Dick Van Dyke Show? [00:19:34] Speaker A: Yes. Fantastic actress with a very, very long career. Started as a child star. [00:19:38] Speaker B: Child star in vaudeville. [00:19:39] Speaker A: Well, unbelievable. [00:19:40] Speaker B: She was telling a story about when she was a child star in vaudeville and her father was in the mob. And so Al Capone came to the show and he said, bring little girl to lunch tomorrow. Wife wants to meet her. And father said, well, she has to do four a day at Zvaudville, so she doesn't have time for lunch. He said, bring her lunch. I'll take care of it. I'll send a car. So she went to Al Capone's house for lunch and got a little trinket or something from his wife, a watch or a spoon or something. And then Al Capone was taking her back to the theater. He said, little girl, if you ever need anything, you give me a call. You call me Uncle Al from now on. [00:20:26] Speaker A: My goodness. [00:20:26] Speaker B: Al Capone, the gangster. [00:20:29] Speaker A: So the gangster's talking to other gangsters, and one of them says back to them, hey, Georgie boy, those are a lot of apples to pay for when there's nothing on the counter. Meaning, like, you want us to give you 10g for this proposition of, you know. [00:20:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:43] Speaker A: What do you got? What do you got? What's going on, you know? [00:20:45] Speaker B: Well, he's got a plan. [00:20:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:50] Speaker B: The syndicate chief, Georgie Kraft, moves to the door, swings it open, and what do you think? Walks in shades of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. [00:20:58] Speaker A: What? [00:20:58] Speaker B: Who are these two creeps? This here is Dr. Rigoro Mortis. And this walking zombie with him is his latest invention, a little number he calls superhood. A human like robot. [00:21:13] Speaker A: Human like. [00:21:14] Speaker B: Human like. It looks like the Frankenstein. [00:21:16] Speaker A: He looks like the Frankenstein. And he's a matter of fact, he has stitches across his head. [00:21:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:21:20] Speaker A: Which would make someone think, which would. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Indicate that he's not a robot. He's a human who's had surgery. [00:21:25] Speaker A: And listen, remember this. This. This creature robot character would probably have a young person think of the monsters, the. Oh, those movie monsters that were. [00:21:38] Speaker B: The Universal monsters. [00:21:40] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So shades of Universal monster theme here. [00:21:43] Speaker B: Yeah. So now Dr. Bergoro Mortis is going to demonstrate what the robot can do. First order, eliminate that truck. [00:21:54] Speaker A: And heat vision comes out of the eyes of the monster. Does it have a name? [00:22:02] Speaker B: Super hood. [00:22:03] Speaker A: Oh, super hood. Okay. [00:22:05] Speaker B: Heat waves come out of the eyes, melt the truck, which is a damned inconvenience, sure, but it forces the criminals to agree to pony up with cash. Unfortunately, they don't walk around with $100,000. [00:22:20] Speaker A: In their wallet, but they have enough GS in their packets to do some deposit. That's what I miss. That truck was up on a lift. Assuming that it was actually being repaired, right? Yeah, because it's up on a hydraulic lift. [00:22:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:32] Speaker A: Now. [00:22:32] Speaker B: Well, now it's a puddle of goofy. Now, these criminals do have $10,000 in their wallet, and that makes me think that that's a pretty big wallet. That'd be hard to. And you know, I'm a proponent of carrying a wallet in your back pocket. [00:22:48] Speaker A: I've seen your wallet. It's like a foot. [00:22:50] Speaker B: Well, it also has no cash net. What if I had $10,000 in there? [00:22:55] Speaker A: I can't believe all the things you have in your wallet. [00:22:57] Speaker B: What do you mean? [00:22:58] Speaker A: I have a minimalist wallet. [00:22:59] Speaker B: I've got all my plastic identity cards for the grocery stores. I have my Library of Congress card just in case I ever decide. Well, what if you happen to be down in D.C. how often do I. [00:23:13] Speaker A: Just happen to go into the Library of Congress to check out some sort of historical artifact? [00:23:19] Speaker B: It's not all historical artifacts. They have lovely art gallery there and they have. You could do genealogical research. It's not just. It isn't just books and papers now. These guys are buying in. And what's your first move to figure superhood's gonna pull against these mysterious superheroes? [00:23:42] Speaker A: Well, he says it's all been worked up. Boys you'll be reading about in the newspapers, Headlines. [00:23:47] Speaker B: My trap crimes quote, unquote. Sounds crazy, but Georgie seems to be on the stick. I guess he knows what he's doing. [00:23:57] Speaker A: Later that day, as Robbie Reed works out in the backyard badminton court with Gramps. [00:24:03] Speaker B: Gramps has got quite a swing there. Yeah, looks like he's dancing the Watusi like everyone does. They have a side table with the portable radio right beside the badminton court so they can hear the news continuously. [00:24:18] Speaker A: They were probably listening to some music, too, while they were playing. [00:24:22] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Well, if they have enough money to have a badminton Gordon out of the backyard, they could have a whole speaker system out there. [00:24:30] Speaker A: That wasn't something that was done those days. [00:24:32] Speaker B: My grandmother, Mrs. White, she lived next door to the mayor of Marble Cliff, Ohio, and he had a lovely outdoor garden patio kind of thing where he and his wife would entertain only they had. You remember Muzak? They had Muzak playing out in their patio 24 7. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Oh, you're kidding. [00:24:57] Speaker B: To make in case a criminal came. They would think they were out there on the patio having a party, playing Muzak. [00:25:04] Speaker A: Good Lord. [00:25:06] Speaker B: Well, you know, I've never heard that fact before. Those woods were full of hobos and gypsies. According to my mother, not allowed. Because right behind the woods was a railroad track. And you know what railroad tracks bring? Hobos. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Hobos and gypsies. I can just see them with the Romany people in their little carts with goats and whatnot. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver playing tambourine. All right. On the radio news, a fantastical criminal named Superhood who's just appeared near the Central City Bank. Stand by for later reports. [00:25:37] Speaker A: Uh oh, gotta get to my H dial. This looks like a job for a superhero, but I can't just quit in the middle of the game like this. Unless I. Ouch, Gramps. [00:25:46] Speaker B: An injury for my elderly grandfather who might have a heart attack if he. [00:25:50] Speaker A: Thinks I'm my grandson's falling down. [00:25:54] Speaker B: Now Gramps offers to run into the house and get some of old Doc's rubbing solution. [00:26:00] Speaker A: Some sort of medicine. [00:26:01] Speaker B: Liquor. That's what it is. [00:26:02] Speaker A: Liquor. Yeah, that'll make your leg feel better. I'm just gonna put some here on your strainer. [00:26:07] Speaker B: Here, take a swig, Robby. [00:26:10] Speaker A: I don't feel so good, Gramps. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Well, Robbie. No, no, Gramps, I'm just gonna go back to the lab shack and rest for a while. [00:26:20] Speaker A: Don't worry about me. I've just fallen down and I'm limping. I'm gonna go to my shack in the back and lay down. It's okay. All right. All right, then. [00:26:30] Speaker B: I'll check in on you later. Boys will be boys. [00:26:33] Speaker A: Me and my lover, Millie, we'll check in on you later. [00:26:36] Speaker B: Boys need their alone time at that age. Yes. But once out of Gramp's vision, Robbie races to his shack where he dials H E R O. He becomes a freak Sock Emma G. [00:26:50] Speaker A: He becomes basically a ball with legs and hands. [00:26:55] Speaker B: You'll know what I'm talking about. There's one of the intergalactic green Lanterns who is just basically a giant. Like modok. He has a giant head with tiny arms and tiny legs. That's what this superhero looks like. His name is who's this? Which we know because he has his name written across his forehead vertically. Or is it who's is? [00:27:22] Speaker A: Who's is. [00:27:23] Speaker B: Who's this? [00:27:25] Speaker A: Oh, the other day, I Could swear I was listening to a podcast. Oh, God. I promised I wouldn't go on a tangent. Never mind, go ahead. [00:27:32] Speaker B: No, go on. [00:27:33] Speaker A: It was like. It was Shankar Vedantan and he said some. A word with a qu in it. And he. And he. And I swear to God, he said it was like quick. But he went, wait, he whistled when he said it. And I went, oh, my God. That's funny. Every time I say the word like quick or quick queen or queer, I would just go, go. [00:28:01] Speaker B: It astonishes me. How many radio personalities have weird vocalisms. [00:28:06] Speaker A: Yes. [00:28:07] Speaker B: Like they. So many of them have that l L. Like Dawn Bro calls as. [00:28:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Or Phoebe Judge. [00:28:15] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:16] Speaker A: Who I love. And she infuriates some people. She cannot say. She says dot com, but she says calm. It's like C A lm.com. she's actually talked about it on criminal podcast. [00:28:28] Speaker B: Good for her. [00:28:29] Speaker A: The fact that people make fun of her. Yeah. [00:28:32] Speaker B: God love her. Well, Robbie doesn't have time to figure out how to make this thing move. It's a. He just bounces himself along the ground like super balls. [00:28:40] Speaker A: Bubble butt. Right. [00:28:41] Speaker B: Remember those super balls you get in the grocery store? The giant basket? I love those. [00:28:45] Speaker A: Yes. And they would. You'd throw it really hard and it. [00:28:49] Speaker B: Would just disappear into space. [00:28:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:51] Speaker B: Yeah. So he bounces like a rubber ball all the way to Central City, where the bank. You'd think Flash would have taken care of it by now. But he's made it in time to trap the super hood criminal. He bounces into the bank. The guards are unconscious. Into the vault he goes. [00:29:09] Speaker A: And professor. Who's this doctor. [00:29:11] Speaker B: Doctor. Rigoro Mortis. [00:29:13] Speaker A: Mortis locks him into the vault. [00:29:15] Speaker B: Locks him in the vault, locks. Super hood is locked in there with him. And superhood presses a button on his chest and shoots hoozes with some goo, which encases him in plastic, which hardens, which quickens. [00:29:38] Speaker A: Quicken. Quickens into a. [00:29:41] Speaker B: So these criminals get us one superhero down and a sack full of cash. [00:29:47] Speaker A: Indeed. [00:29:48] Speaker B: And they make their escape. After the bizarre trio leaves, Robbie realizes he is soon going to be completely immobilized and will suffocate. The only chance is if he still has enough time to get his H dial, which. Where has that been? I don't see any pockets tucked into on that. [00:30:07] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:30:08] Speaker B: Costume tucked into his pocket. [00:30:12] Speaker A: Butt crack. [00:30:13] Speaker B: Well, I don't even see a butt. It's just a giant head. So he manages to. [00:30:21] Speaker A: A head with two arms and two legs. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Two arms and two legs, yes. Manages to be able to move just enough to get the H. Dial. Dial. O, R E H. That's hero in reverse. Is it going to work? Well, we're gonna have to wait a minute because I've gotta read this letter. [00:30:41] Speaker A: I did not read the letters in advance, but I just turned to the page. And I know why you're reading it. [00:30:46] Speaker B: Dear editor, you've done it again. The monster maker of Littleville in 162 was a magnificent story. Robbie Reed and his dial played a typically terrific part in ridding Littleville of its trouble. Of course. But I'm not raving about that part of the story. I'm speaking about Littleville itself. The most peaceful, well developed small town in the whole of comicdom. And the most interesting as a background for a superhero. It is one of the most satisfying around. What other town has such peaceful and ordinary goings on as that of panel three, page two? The banker saying good morning to a woman. Or what? Ms. Nelly? What? [00:31:30] Speaker A: The banker saying good morning to a woman. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Yes. Or Miss Millie mixing a cake while she's commenting on the smog. Or neighbors talking to one another. People who know the other people in the street and not just in times of trouble. Littleville is real. May not actually exist anywhere. But Robbie's adventures there are that much more believable because of its plausibility. Signed, Irene Vartanoff, Bethesda, Maryland. [00:31:56] Speaker A: Well, she lives in Bethesda, Maryland. When she's writing this. It's a lot like Littleville to this day. Yes. [00:32:06] Speaker B: I think that's a very sweet letter. In fact, my own upbringing in suburban Columbus, Ohio was very much like Littleville when I was growing up. Only lots of Italians. Yes. You don't find any. [00:32:19] Speaker A: I love that about your childhood stories. Every single one of them. Every single one of your neighbors stories ends with an. With an I syllable, huh? Yeah. The. More Malleys, the. You know, whatever. [00:32:30] Speaker B: Well, no, Sagaros. [00:32:32] Speaker A: I'm sorry. They went with a vowel because they're. Almost all of them are Italian. [00:32:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:37] Speaker A: Except for the woman who was a witch who lived across the. [00:32:39] Speaker B: Hazel Devitt. She was Irish. [00:32:41] Speaker A: She was a witch. Yes. [00:32:42] Speaker B: Yes. Her husband was legit. From Ireland. [00:32:46] Speaker A: Really? [00:32:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:48] Speaker B: Pat de. Well, thanks, Irene, for that letter. That's the sweetest thing I've ever seen you write. [00:32:54] Speaker A: It is true. [00:32:56] Speaker B: But it must have. Yeah, I suppose if you're in a small town reading comics and you're reading about Gotham City or Metropolis or whatnot to have your own environment depicted must be a nice treat. [00:33:10] Speaker A: Nice. [00:33:11] Speaker B: Anyway, Robbie did It. [00:33:13] Speaker A: And that was a departure. [00:33:14] Speaker B: Spoiler alert. [00:33:15] Speaker A: Yeah. So let's do part two. The freak superheroes. [00:33:18] Speaker B: The sudden physical transformation from superhero back to teenage boy shattered the plastic mold. Sakama g. He's free. The guards are still unconscious, so Robbie's got to race after the criminals. The police are on their way, so he feels free to run off and try to dial into another superhero. Once again, the bizarre dial whirls off the letters H E R O. And Robbie's mind is abruptly jolted as socimate g. Another freak superhero. [00:33:54] Speaker A: He was. [00:33:54] Speaker B: Whoseits now he's. [00:33:56] Speaker A: Now he's Huatzis. Huazis Hwatzis. [00:34:02] Speaker B: He is a giant boomerang. A boomerang with a tiny little head and arms and legs. And the legs are splayed out awkwardly. [00:34:13] Speaker A: They are. [00:34:14] Speaker B: I don't know why he couldn't have just had like a normal body with like a boomerang, like a turtle shell on his back. [00:34:20] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that would be. That would make sense. Like a glider. [00:34:23] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. But I guess that wouldn't be very freakish. [00:34:25] Speaker A: Like why does the glider actually have to be his physical body? [00:34:29] Speaker B: Well, because it's a freak. It's a freakish superhero. Luckily, he can fly. But he does fly. Like a boomerang. He spins around in circles across the sky. [00:34:40] Speaker A: Now this is the second hero transformation he's done in this story. [00:34:43] Speaker B: Yes. [00:34:44] Speaker A: And it will be the second time that his hero actually does nothing. [00:34:49] Speaker B: Correct. Back at the criminals garage headquarters, the criminals have heard all about superhood making a SAP of that freak superhero. And Georgie and Dr. Rigor Mortis are flying high. [00:35:03] Speaker A: Rigoromortis. [00:35:05] Speaker B: What did I say? [00:35:06] Speaker A: Rigor mortis. [00:35:08] Speaker B: Whatever. Later, as the bizarre Hutzis whirls about the city, he. He spies two hoods up on the roof holding a turbaned gentleman at gunpoint. [00:35:23] Speaker A: A bejeweled turban? [00:35:25] Speaker B: Yes. The huatzis lands upon the roof. He happens to know that it's a visiting sultan. Visiting? Well, I don't know if we're in Littleville. We're probably still in central city now. Suddenly, the unbelievable happens. The sultan rips his bejeweled turban off and it's super hood disguised to the sultan. Robbie was baited into a trap. [00:35:51] Speaker A: Another trap crime. [00:35:53] Speaker B: He's caught in superhood's vice like grip. [00:35:57] Speaker A: Whirled around and thrown it into the crack between a closed elevator door and into a shaft. [00:36:04] Speaker B: Into the closed door elevator doors. So I guess, I mean, this is. [00:36:10] Speaker A: The, you know, this is the comics. So, you know, at this time. Because you could have just seen him, like literally take whatsits, lift up his knee and break him in half. Yeah, yeah. [00:36:23] Speaker B: But also, how is he. [00:36:25] Speaker A: Which would have. When Robbie transformed back would have. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:28] Speaker A: Ouch. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Fine. [00:36:29] Speaker A: Crashed, Ribs broken. [00:36:33] Speaker B: But also we've seen this character have. Oh, no, I see what he's doing as he gets thrown into the elevator doors. He's folding his legs up against the. [00:36:44] Speaker A: Boomerang edge, making himself very thin. [00:36:47] Speaker B: Very thin. Two dimensional, in fact, but this thinnest Cher in 1972. The surprise is the elevator's not there. It's at the ground floor. So what's this? Flies through into the elevator shaft and starts plummeting down to the ground. [00:37:07] Speaker A: But he uses his. [00:37:10] Speaker B: Arms strength, his. [00:37:12] Speaker A: Arms, his body to break against the. [00:37:16] Speaker B: Elevator cables to slow him down. [00:37:19] Speaker A: And he does end up falling onto. [00:37:23] Speaker B: The top of the elevator. [00:37:25] Speaker A: Yeah. And then he takes the. The lid out off of the top of the elevator, goes into the elevator and it doesn't transform himself. [00:37:34] Speaker B: No. But he does make his way outside the building just in time to see superhood soaring off with the two crooks. [00:37:44] Speaker A: So superhood can fly. Yes, I forgot about that. [00:37:48] Speaker B: Robbie. Well, Huatzis can fly also, but he's too weak now. [00:37:52] Speaker A: Yes. 2. [00:37:53] Speaker B: So he's only one choice. He's got to spin the H dial one more time. Well, spin it in reverse to become Robbie, which happens off panel. And then spin it again, Eijiaro, to become another superhero. Sockamagee Hausis house. He looks like a mechanical pinball machine. [00:38:14] Speaker A: And he says, at this time, my dial's playing tricks on me. [00:38:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:38:18] Speaker A: Now this one, this superhero I like. You love machines. [00:38:25] Speaker B: So Robbie's hand pulls the firing pin on his chest. A metal ball is put into play and it drops into the one of the slots which reads Dazzler Ray Sakama G. A blinding ray shoots out from the slot. He gets it. The slots in his pinball body are his weapons. [00:38:44] Speaker A: And it concentrates on what power he wants. He can direct the ball into the right slot to create the weapon that he wants. So now he's going to go for airborne and he takes off like a flying, awkwardly large pinball machine. [00:39:00] Speaker B: I'd like pinball too, if you could mentally direct where the ball is going to go at all times. A moment later, he uses his radar power to find where superhood has gone, which is the garage. But Georgie is crafting another trap crime. [00:39:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Do you remember that house that we looked at before we bought this house that had the finished Basement downstairs. And it had a giant. Not giant, just a regular size pool table in it. And that would convey with the house. And do you remember they had one of those stupid giant trampolines in the back which will also convey with the house. Yeah. And I imagine that if we were to buy that house, we didn't end up buying it, thank God. But I thought, oh, we'll just turn this, this basement into an entertainment room and I'll get a pinball machine. [00:39:53] Speaker B: Well, I grew up with a pool table in the basement. No, I was not great for storing boxes. [00:39:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I was not happy about having a pool table. [00:40:01] Speaker B: We have here a lovely two page spread of Robbie Reed and all of the superheroes he has thus far turned into. Oh, look at that. The Squid. King Coil, all our favorites. [00:40:15] Speaker A: I remember King Coil. Do you remember all these? I don't remember. Hornet Man. [00:40:19] Speaker B: So there was one issue of Robbie Reed before it became Go go checked. And so that's an issue we have not seen. [00:40:30] Speaker A: I do remember most of these though. Like of course, the starfish. I do. Human starfish. [00:40:35] Speaker B: Human starfish, yes. [00:40:36] Speaker A: The mole kind of remember that? [00:40:38] Speaker B: Yes, Mr. E. Human bullet. [00:40:40] Speaker A: I remember that. [00:40:41] Speaker B: Sure. [00:40:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Mighty moppet. Hmm. Interesting. The squid. [00:40:50] Speaker B: All right, all right. Houses has arrived at the garage. His acetylene torch slot did the trick and burned its way right into the hideout. Yikes. Jinkies. It's a human talking pinball machine. These crooks think they're flipping out. Dr. Rigoro Mortis warns them that it's just one of these other freak superheroes. But we have the means of dealing with him too. Into action superhood. [00:41:20] Speaker A: But Robbie is quicker than superhood. And he pulls his mechanism and directs it to. He has a ray that cuts things down to size. Meaning he's going to miniaturized. [00:41:35] Speaker B: It's a shrinking ray. Yeah, he could have just said that. Super hood now is tiny and like a baby. Like a baby and powerless. Houses has concussion and sleep gas shots. [00:41:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:50] Speaker B: Which should keep these crooks at bay until the police arrive. [00:41:54] Speaker A: And that's exactly what happens. [00:41:56] Speaker B: That's exactly what happens. [00:41:58] Speaker A: One of the police officer is holding a super hood in his hand. Because now superhood is the size of your modern action figure. [00:42:05] Speaker B: Yes. He's harmless now. Just keep him as a souvenir, captain. And with that I'll be off. [00:42:14] Speaker A: So basically superhood is now a sentient toy. [00:42:17] Speaker B: Yes. Well, he's a robot, so what's the difference? [00:42:22] Speaker A: He's also a toy. I mean like he's sentient. [00:42:25] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:42:26] Speaker A: What Are they gonna do keep on a desk? [00:42:28] Speaker B: Sure I would. Returning home, Robbie becomes himself again. And as he joins Miss Million Gramps at the. Oh, no, they're not at the dinner table. They're in the television room. Gramps reports that there has been a freak electrical storm recorded in outer space. [00:42:49] Speaker A: I think this is like when solar rays mess with electronics. [00:42:55] Speaker B: Kind of, yeah. Robbie says that must be the answer. The freak electrical storm interfered with my Dial H transformations. That's why I became freak superheroes. [00:43:06] Speaker A: He says that to himself, not his grandfather. [00:43:08] Speaker B: He's thinking it Sakima Gee. If something like this can happen, who could say what kind of crazy superheroes I may become again? [00:43:15] Speaker A: That's what we're all wondering, Robby. And that's why you're going to watch your Adventures in the Future issues to find out. Aren't we fans? Yeah. [00:43:25] Speaker B: Yeah. Yay. Robbie Reed. Yay. Think the issue's over? [00:43:32] Speaker A: Oh, no. We actually have a good story to read. [00:43:36] Speaker B: What happens when the indestructible Manhunter from Mars himself becomes a destructive force, endangering everyone who ventures too close to him? This is the grim situation which occurs when the Manhunter's old foe, Professor Arnold Hugo, returns and uses his wily genius to turn Manhunter into The deadly Martian. Dr. Arnold Hugo, not to be. Oh, sorry, Professor Arnold Hugo, not to be confused with Dr. Hugo, who is a different villain. Batman villain. Which also. Professor Arnold Hugo was originally a Batman villain, but then he transferred his affections to the Martian Manhunter. Like Ms. Lucy Steele and Robert Ferrers in Sense and Sensibility. [00:44:26] Speaker A: Exactly like that in a Jane Austen novel. [00:44:29] Speaker B: On the terrace of his posh Mediterranean villa, Marco Xavier, notorious mystery playboy, suddenly spies an ominous story in his newspaper. You may recall that Martian Manhunter's secret identity of John Jones, police detective, was killed in action. And he has now assumed the identity of Marco Xavier, international playboy, as his human cover. Because he's fighting Vulture, an international criminal organization with which Marko Xavier has been associated. And there's a faceless, faceless who wears a potato sack on his head. [00:45:07] Speaker A: And I remember when you do his voice, you just put your hand over your mouth and talk through your hand. [00:45:10] Speaker B: Unfortunately for us, he does not appear in this story. No, we get a little break from Vulture. [00:45:15] Speaker A: That's okay. So Professor Arnold Hugo has a giant head. [00:45:21] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:21] Speaker A: I mean, a normal sized face and a giant cranium. [00:45:24] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:24] Speaker A: Yes. [00:45:26] Speaker B: So Marco Xavier is reading of Professor Arnold Hugo's escape, and he has also vowed vengeance on the Martian Manhunter. Now, Marco thinks since Manhunter is known to be in this part of the world. I expect Hugo will show up here fighting that kooky villain again. May be a pleasant diversion from battling Faceless and his Vulture Syndicate. [00:45:51] Speaker A: Several days later, the shortwave radio in Marco Xavier's room crackles with an urgent bulletin. Departs that bandits in the Bellows. Bellois Woods. Yeah, okay. Reports that bandit. The bandits in the Belois woods area are using a strange ray weapon to stall the engines of an airborne airliner transporting a large shipment of diamonds. [00:46:15] Speaker B: A strange weapon? Could it be a Vulture operation? Or could it belong to the wily Professor? I'd better find out. [00:46:22] Speaker A: So this airliner is transporting diamonds? It's not an such a large shipment of diamonds that requires an entire airline. [00:46:30] Speaker B: You don't know. I do. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Because you get to see them go off. Make off of the diamonds at the bottom page. It's in a briefcase. [00:46:36] Speaker B: Well, it could be Ronnie Mervis and the Mervis brothers. They have their own planes, I'm sure. [00:46:41] Speaker A: Diamonds. [00:46:42] Speaker B: Next moment, blood diamonds. Uh huh. Next moment, the glamorous figure of Marko Xavier begins undergoing an amazing transformation to that of the mighty Manhunter from Mars. Meanwhile, on the outskirts of the Belois woods, these crooks have weapons. The stall ray has brought the plane down to the ground, and the gas pellets are putting the crew to sleep. [00:47:09] Speaker A: Tense. Seconds later, the bandits seize the cargo of diamonds as they begin their getaway. [00:47:16] Speaker B: Yipe. It's a Manhunter. [00:47:19] Speaker A: Hang on. I'm opening the jets full throttle. Are the jets on their moped? Because they're literally. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Well, this is the Mediterranean. Surely it's a Vespa. A Vespa. [00:47:27] Speaker A: Of course a Vespa. And Martian Manhunter just walks right in front of the Vespa and cold stops it. [00:47:34] Speaker B: You know what I don't like? [00:47:36] Speaker A: What? [00:47:37] Speaker B: Manhunter's boots are too loose, yet they never fall down to his ankles. [00:47:40] Speaker A: Yes, I don't know what that's called. Where they're rolled down at the top. They're far too loose. [00:47:45] Speaker B: Well, they're like. Yeah, they're like pirate boots when you roll them down. [00:47:47] Speaker A: Like a crazy 1970s collar. I hate, hated those 1970s giant collar shirts. Ugh. You know what I mean. [00:47:54] Speaker B: I do know what you mean. But yeah, the boot should fit snugly around his calf. But clearly he's skipped leg day because he has little tiny chicken legs. He does now. Manhunter wrecks the Vespa. He's gonna make the hoods tell him who gave them the weapons. But just then, Professor Hugo shoots Him with a ray gun. It's a secret radium spray powerful enough to kill any ordinary man. It may not harm you, my Martian foe, but it has made you radioactive enough to infect anyone who ventures too close. I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that, Manhunter, even to me and my men. [00:48:37] Speaker A: He says, stay away. Stay away from me or you'll die. [00:48:40] Speaker B: Ha ha ha. I've put the Martian Manhunter out of circulation for good. Now to turn my radioactive spray a big business. So something's about to happen which does not make sense. [00:48:53] Speaker A: Yes. [00:48:55] Speaker B: Manhunter changes back to Marco Xavier. [00:48:59] Speaker A: Yes. [00:49:00] Speaker B: Which does something to the radiation, which shouldn't happen because it's the same body. [00:49:07] Speaker A: It's the same body. It's the same molecules. He's just rearranged them. [00:49:11] Speaker B: Right? [00:49:12] Speaker A: It's so. They should be radioactive. But he's not. [00:49:15] Speaker B: And if rearranging your molecules can do away with the radiation, he could have just stayed Manhunter and rearranged his molecules. [00:49:24] Speaker A: One would think. [00:49:26] Speaker B: Well, I didn't write the story. [00:49:27] Speaker A: He still likes the story. [00:49:28] Speaker B: You do? [00:49:29] Speaker A: Mm. [00:49:30] Speaker B: Well, I didn't write it. So the next day, playboy Mark Xavier appears casually with two female friends. But his eyes were sharply alert. You know, that was my cover when I was young. I always had girls around me. [00:49:51] Speaker A: You did have a lot of girlfriends? [00:49:53] Speaker B: I sure did. [00:49:54] Speaker A: They weren't intimate girlfriends. They were friends. But you did. Oh, I so enjoyed your girlfriends. [00:50:02] Speaker B: My mother had wonderful, wonderful friends. My mother had a cousin who never married. He was a confirmed bachelor. And once it was getting comfortable in the 90s to talk about such things. I believe one of my siblings asked her about the cousin and whether he was, you know, homosexual. My mother said, oh, no, he's had lots of girlfriends. Well, so did I. Mom, have you met my husband? Now, Marco spots Professor Hugo's two goons on the beach, mingling with the crowd. I was hoping I'd spot them here on the beach. Shortly, Marco and his gal pals spot Spiros Lasso's yacht out in the ocean. I promise to spend tomorrow morning on the boat with the old boy. It could be very profitable for me. [00:51:02] Speaker A: Oh, Marco, you're always leaving us to. [00:51:04] Speaker B: Meet your millionaire friends. [00:51:06] Speaker A: Sometimes you act as if money was more important than love. [00:51:10] Speaker B: Well, baby, it is. Now, one of these goons comes up and says, pardon me, Mr. Xavier, if you're interested in making some real money, perhaps you wouldn't mind coming along with us. Now, Marco Xavier is known as an international criminal mastermind. So that's why, these hoods are comfortable, of course. Approaching him. [00:51:29] Speaker A: Before long, on the balcony of a medieval castle, a curious meeting takes place. [00:51:33] Speaker B: Ahaha. It's Professor Hugo. My men have chosen wisely, Mr. Xavier. Your reputation as a gentleman who can be trusted in performing, shall we say, extra legal chores is well known in underground circles. [00:51:49] Speaker A: Thanks, pal. But what exactly is on your mind? [00:51:51] Speaker B: A most simple mission. Indeed. This barometer is a duplicate of one reposing in the cabin of Spyros Lassoer's yacht. And since you are expected there, you could easily substitute it. Plus a few other minor chores. [00:52:05] Speaker A: But what's it all about? [00:52:06] Speaker B: What other minor chores? Is he gonna swab the deck? [00:52:08] Speaker A: Yeah, he's gonna. I want you to exchange this first. [00:52:12] Speaker B: Yes. [00:52:12] Speaker A: Next, I want you to take this bottle of Windex, because I've been observing his yacht and he really needs to clean that port window over there. So I want you to do that. Take these paper towels with you as well. Right now he has a stack of papers on his desk and it's been askew and it's really driving you nuts. I need you to straighten those out and alphabetize all the contents for that. Now that'll be the first thing. Now let me just go through the rest of the list. Right now, that's what's not. It's been cut out of the story. [00:52:36] Speaker B: That's the subtext. [00:52:37] Speaker A: Yes. [00:52:38] Speaker B: All I can tell you is this innocent little substitution will cost LAZAR A cool 250,000 for me, 50,000 for you. And have no fear, your friend will not be harmed. At least not permanently. [00:52:50] Speaker A: Oh, 50 grand. Give me the barometer. So next morning, in the cabin of Spyros Lasser's yacht. [00:52:57] Speaker B: Yes. The deed is done and he notifies Professor Hugo. And later that day, Spyros is sitting at his desk, when suddenly the barometer explodes and splatters him with radioactive goo. Just like Manhunter. [00:53:11] Speaker A: Before he lurches toward the door, a miniature tape recorder in the base of the barometer automatic starts. [00:53:17] Speaker B: Stop. You are fatally radioactive, Spiros Lassar. And you will die unless you are soon deactivated. Which I can do if you carry out the following orders. [00:53:26] Speaker A: The taped words are etched in the brain of the rotund figure as he swiftly follows orders. [00:53:32] Speaker B: After putting on the lead lined suit, you will find in a package in your closet, remove $250,000 from your private safe. As you see, all your habits are known to me. But hurry. [00:53:44] Speaker A: The fat man continues to carry out the fat man. He's not that fat. [00:53:47] Speaker B: Then get into a boat alone and Go along the coast until you reach Cullur Bend, where dock here and get into our boat. Blindfolded, Spiros is taken to a secret lab deep inside a cave where you. [00:54:03] Speaker A: You say you can remove the deadly radioactivity from my body? [00:54:07] Speaker B: Yes. Since you have kept your part of the bargain, I shall now keep mine with the great Professor Hugo. A promise is a promise. Besides, a dead man would be bad advertisement for future customers. [00:54:20] Speaker A: So he tells him to enter the chamber, remove the lead lined suit and mask. Then he'll be bombarded with 1/1000th of a second blast of solar heat, swiftly followed by 1/1000th of a second of 500 degrees sub zero cold. And that will cure me? [00:54:35] Speaker B: Well, actually, if this was the real world, either one of those things would instantly kill you. [00:54:41] Speaker A: Well, I was thinking Martian Manhunter. Because this is where it's about to be revealed. That's who it is. Yeah, the heat. Well, fire can kill him. [00:54:51] Speaker B: Fire, yes, but if it's just heat, I think that's okay. It's later explained that it's a psychological reaction to flames. It's not necessarily the heat, because he can survive. So desert and whatnot. [00:55:09] Speaker A: Doctor. What is his name? Dr. [00:55:11] Speaker B: Professor Hugo. [00:55:12] Speaker A: Professor Hugo says it's the only remedy for my secret radium spray. Now, in you go. And be sure to press the buzzer inside the chamber as a signal that your suit is off. Those tense moments later, the buzzer sounds. And first the heat, then the cold. Ha. We shall be performing this great many times, my friends, with other millionaires on my list. But suddenly, an unexpected visitor comes crashing forth. [00:55:34] Speaker B: The capsule. A Manhunter. And his radioactive glow is gone. [00:55:40] Speaker A: So, Professor, I can't remember the stupid guy Hugo. Okay, I remember Professor Hugo. He says, stop beating your breasts, you clowns. Use the radioactive spray gun on him again and fire. A double dose this time. [00:55:52] Speaker B: Professor Hugo says the Manhunter moves faster than the human eye can follow. Grabs that radioactive spray gun and spins the crook around and around and around and where you go, nobody knows. [00:56:04] Speaker A: And he gets. He knocks out one guy and knocks out the other guy. And Professor Hugo's going, oh, no, no, no. [00:56:10] Speaker B: And he tosses both of these criminals right into that curative machine. [00:56:16] Speaker A: Oh, right into the. Yes, yes. And then takes the radioactive spray guns and ties them up. [00:56:21] Speaker B: Ties them up in twisty pretzel knots. [00:56:23] Speaker A: Professor Hugo is fit to be. [00:56:25] Speaker B: Well, sure you would be too. Now, this struck me as odd. Manhunter says as a young Martian Boy Ranger, I could never get the hang of tying a square Knot. And look how well I do it now. They have Junior Martian Rangers on Mars. I want to go to there. I want to be a Junior Martian Boy Ranger. Remember when we went to Yellowstone and you wanted to be a Junior Ranger or whatever it was, and they wouldn't allow it because you were too old, aged out of the program? [00:56:52] Speaker A: Well, I wasn't serious. [00:56:55] Speaker B: Oh. [00:56:56] Speaker A: I mean, I did talk to a ranger about it and say, hey, can I. Can I. Can I become a Junior Ranger? You know, like, that's for kids. Like. Yeah, but like, I'm in Yellowstone National Park. That's really cool. [00:57:07] Speaker B: What about Kids at heart? [00:57:09] Speaker A: Right? Yeah, I wanted to, like, do their little activities and get a Junior Ranger pass. [00:57:14] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I'm gonna. [00:57:16] Speaker A: I mean, it wasn't like a stalking, annoying person, but. [00:57:18] Speaker B: No. [00:57:19] Speaker A: I thought it was kind of fun, but no. [00:57:21] Speaker B: Well, I'm going to get Irene Vartanoff to write to my senator. Find out why that isn't. [00:57:26] Speaker A: I don't, you know, spot a bison. Check. You know. [00:57:30] Speaker B: Yes. [00:57:30] Speaker A: See a waterfall? Check. Do you see the geysers? Check. You know, like, then you bring back your completed list and you get to be a Junior Ranger. [00:57:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Who knows what other kinds of things our tax dollars are not supporting? [00:57:41] Speaker A: Boy, Yellowstone is an amazing place. [00:57:45] Speaker B: Listener. Yellowstone is like the surface of another planetary. [00:57:49] Speaker A: We've been very, very lucky for all. Because we sang for years out in Montana at a location that was very close to Yellowstone. And so we've been. [00:57:58] Speaker B: Three times, at least. [00:58:00] Speaker A: Yeah, three times. And. And it is such a. An extraordinary blessing for us to have done that. I will be forever grateful for that time. It's beautiful. Beautiful place. [00:58:13] Speaker B: Well, maybe we'll go back someday. Assuming that it remains open and stay current. Political climate. [00:58:19] Speaker A: Yeah, we stayed outside of Yellowstone. [00:58:22] Speaker B: Yes. [00:58:24] Speaker A: I'll let you know. Lodge there sometime. [00:58:26] Speaker B: Well, you've got to book it years in advance. [00:58:28] Speaker A: I know, I know. [00:58:30] Speaker B: Now, Manhunter explains that he was following your two henchmen high in the air and saw them contact Mark Xavier on the beach. Well, that didn't really happen. Cause that was my turn. Then simply followed Xavier to the yacht, where he followed your nasty little instructions. And then I took Spyros Lasser's identity on the yacht. It was I who brought you this money. It was I who entered that antidote cabinet and changed back into my Manhunter form. And then you shot me with the cold antidote treatment. And then I crashed out through the weir wall and came back to surprise you so you couldn't infect me again. And then I Tied up all the guns. And then I told you how I was a young Martian Boy Ranger on the surface of Mars when I was a boy. And then I explained the whole scheme to you. [00:59:14] Speaker A: He says, oh, the irony of it all. Like, oh, that's not how he talks. I cured the Manhunter so he couldn't conquer me. Oh, what in the criminal? [00:59:22] Speaker B: What would the criminal world think of. [00:59:23] Speaker A: Me when they learn of this? [00:59:25] Speaker B: I won't tell anyone, Professor Hugo, if you don't. [00:59:29] Speaker A: Thank you. But my gratitude won't stop me from trying to escape again. And one of those days, Manhunter. [00:59:33] Speaker B: I'll get you. How odd. Exactly what I keep promising myself about Mr. Vulture. [00:59:39] Speaker A: Mr. Vulture, the faceless leader of the international crime syndicate who met Manhunter and the identity of Marco Xavier, still pursues the end. [00:59:49] Speaker B: I also having. [00:59:51] Speaker A: I shouldn't have liked this Manhunter story more than the Robbie Reed dial age for hero story, but I did. [00:59:57] Speaker B: I'm glad for you I did not. Martian Manhunter was not appearing in comics in my formative years much at all. So it always disarms me when I see him with just perfectly normal human features, rather than when I was reading about manhunter in the 90s, 80s and 90s. Less distinct, less human. A very heavy ridge. Brow ridge and deep set eyes with no pupils. Not these middle aged man eyeballs. [01:00:29] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Well, fun times, right? [01:00:34] Speaker B: Sure. [01:00:34] Speaker A: Well, any other news to share? [01:00:37] Speaker B: Any more tangents, please? [01:00:39] Speaker A: I front loaded it with a bunch of diversions. [01:00:43] Speaker B: Well, you can find us on social media at GoGoChekPod. You can rate review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast Nerd Orchestra. And you can find us right back here next week with the thrilling part three of the wild new Blackhawks saga. Hawk go. The Blackhawks are finally with it. Yes, they're washed up heroes no more. [01:01:08] Speaker A: Really? [01:01:09] Speaker B: Or are they? Oh, let's find out next week. Bye, Mr. Wind. Just keep us sailing Keep us sailing Alone in the sky no care Guess we'll have fun so everyone, come on hey you on the ground Take a look up and see what we found Nothing can tie us Blue birds come up to guide us when you're beside me we can fly. [01:01:49] Speaker A: Oh, we can fly. [01:01:55] Speaker B: Fly, we can fly hey everyone on the ground let's fly.