Leapin' Lizards! (Blackhawk 230)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. [00:00:05] Speaker B: The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. [00:00:11] Speaker A: Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on. [00:00:17] Speaker B: Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week. Blackhawk 230 cover date March 1967 cover price $0.12. Cover artist Dick Dillon and Charles Cuidera Edited by George Cashdan Featuring Junk heap heroes Book 3 written by Bob Haney. Art by Dick Dillon and Charles Quidera. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:09] Speaker C: See how the fluffy clouds move by us See how the clouds move by See how the morning mist can hide us away Hide us away the day is so much fun. [00:01:25] Speaker B: The Empero, International head of all crime, sends his agents to find and kill the Blackhawks. Chuck, Blackhawk and Hendy try to warn their teammates about the impending attacks, but are unable to find Stan. Confused? Don't worry. I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything. I'm working on a new song. [00:02:25] Speaker A: What? [00:02:26] Speaker B: Hawk. We are the Blackhawks Hawk all remember our names with The Libra and Dr. Hands and the listener and Stan and weapons master and Monsieur Machine as well. It's a work in progress. [00:02:44] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. [00:02:46] Speaker B: What are you staring at out the window? [00:02:47] Speaker A: I'm looking at our delightful neighbor. She just pulled into her driveway, backed out, turned her car around and pulled around to check her mail from her car. Oh, yeah, that's a lot of work. [00:03:00] Speaker B: Our driveways are two and a half miles long. We have to check our mail from the car. [00:03:04] Speaker A: Yeah, no, you do the thing too. Like when we're driving together, of course, you all roll down the window and look at me and I have to inch over to the mailbox. I've just never seen her do that. And she does it very well. I mean, me, I just like. I'm always blasting music in my car. Always. So I stop at the end of the driveway, open up my car, walk around the back of the car and check the mailbox with the music blasting out really loud like a teenager, you know. [00:03:27] Speaker B: Oh, I also have music blasting, but I just open the window and reach my hand out until you, like, back. [00:03:33] Speaker A: Up and you turn your car around. And you get it. [00:03:35] Speaker B: No, I don't. Back up. I do it when I'm leaving the house. [00:03:39] Speaker A: Oh, well, that makes sense. That's why there's always mail in the passenger seat of the car. [00:03:42] Speaker B: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. [00:03:44] Speaker A: How are you? [00:03:45] Speaker B: Well, I'm good. [00:03:46] Speaker A: Are you? [00:03:47] Speaker B: Yes. Are you really sure? [00:03:49] Speaker A: Let me try gaslighting you. [00:03:50] Speaker B: Are you sure you're good? [00:03:52] Speaker A: Really? Cause you don't look so good. You look a little stressed. [00:03:56] Speaker B: I'm not stressed. Furthest thing from stressed. I do want to get. [00:04:02] Speaker A: Fantastic. [00:04:03] Speaker B: Thanks. I just washed it. I do want to get some of that under eye firmer though. [00:04:07] Speaker A: That glue that dries and makes your hair. [00:04:09] Speaker B: Well, apparently they've just released on TikTok Marketplace today a new version of. I can't remember the guy's name. Peter. Thomas or Thomas Peter or something. They listened to all the complaints about the white goo and the other complaints and they rejiggered it and released a new version today on TikTok and it'll be available in the marketplace in August. [00:04:35] Speaker A: Well, you should try it. [00:04:36] Speaker B: I'm going to. Because I could carry smuggled jewels in these eye bags. [00:04:41] Speaker A: Well, that's genetics for you. [00:04:42] Speaker B: I know. It comes from my grandmother, Mrs. White. [00:04:46] Speaker A: So I'm glad to see you today. And I am so well rested. [00:04:51] Speaker B: You had a nap, didn't you? After you mowed the grass all by yourself. [00:04:55] Speaker A: Very busy morning this morning. We won't go into details, just professional stuff. And oh, there's Captain Butler making himself known. And then I had. Then I mowed the lawn and it was so, so nice outside. But because I wanted to use the gas powered trimmer, I had to wear jeans. [00:05:15] Speaker B: I don't know why you're so gay for that gas powered trimmer. [00:05:17] Speaker A: Because it's so much faster than that stupid electric trimmer that you use. [00:05:20] Speaker B: Well, agree to disagree. We had agreed that I was going to help you when I was off work today. And then you just went ahead and single bullheadedly did it all by yourself. [00:05:29] Speaker A: I did. I did. And it was fine, but it was hot. Although it wasn't as bad as it has been. So I did that and then I took a nap. And the cat, you know our awesome. I love our cat. Yeah, yeah. So he laid on my belly when I laid down, take a nap. And then it was bothering me, but I didn't want to kick him off because I really enjoyed like just slowly, like petting his head asleep. So I haven't slept a long time. I slept an hour and a half. So I'm feeling energetic. Oh, energetic, yes, yes, yes. And that's saying a lot because it took me two days, two nap periods to get through this wreck of a comic that. I mean, I thought last week's Robbie Reed dial h for hero issue was bad. [00:06:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:18] Speaker A: Okay. This is just like this comic is ahead of its time. You know why? [00:06:24] Speaker B: Why? [00:06:25] Speaker A: Because they invented. They. They have employed jumping the shark before Jumping the shark was even invented. When was this comic released? January. [00:06:37] Speaker B: Well, cover date, March 1967. [00:06:39] Speaker A: Okay. March 1967. So it was written probably in January. Okay. Ten years later, in 1977, on the show of Happy Days, Fonzie jumped over a shark while water skiing. And it created the cultural reference of jumping the shark refers to a moment in TV show, movie, series or any sort of creative work. In this case, comic book declines in quality. And using a gimmick or an outlandish event that's used to keep the audience interested, but instead signals that the creators are running out of ideas. They have generated new ideas with these characters. Yes, but the ideas are awful. The ideas are awful. Yeah, right. We agree. Yeah, right. The biggest one is the listener with the ears on the pajama jacket. I mean, come on. Come on. Ears on a pajama. He's not the Riddler. He's not the Joker. He's not some character. [00:07:37] Speaker B: No. [00:07:37] Speaker A: He's the listener villain. [00:07:38] Speaker B: He's not buddy. He knows the sound of crime. So you are not in with the new Blackhawk era? No. [00:07:47] Speaker A: Chop, chop. He's got his hands all galvanized with iridium or berydium or beryllium or whatever. [00:07:52] Speaker B: Dr. Hands. [00:07:53] Speaker A: Doctor. Yes. How does it. How does he sweat? [00:07:59] Speaker B: He's cool as a cucumber. He won't sweat, man. God. If you're just catching up, listener, this is the third of a three part story introducing the new Blackhawk team. The Blackhawks were previously a World War II era Aviation Group of gentlemen who fought Nazis and whatnot. They were very popular comics. They were first published by the Quality Comics group in the 1940s. Then they were bought by DC Comics and continued publication without pause by DC Comics. We're now up to issue 230 and we are ushering in the new Blackhawk era. And we are invited on the COVID to dig their new secret identities. So clearly something's happened. The sales were not what they ought to be. [00:08:59] Speaker A: Right. [00:08:59] Speaker B: I can't find any inside information on the Internet, however, as to precisely why they went this direction. DC's war comics seemed to be very popular. They could have just put them back in World War II. Or they could have just made them like super spies. [00:09:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Why didn't they make them super spies? [00:09:24] Speaker B: I don't know. Especially because not long after this, the metal men, the fun loving robots were turned into super spies. Like got human bodies. Oh, turned human appearing bodies. [00:09:43] Speaker A: Well, you know, and we haven't read anything like a serious spy, spy comic. Right. [00:09:50] Speaker B: No, which is. [00:09:52] Speaker A: I mean, the closest thing to that would be Captain. No, not Captain. The guy who tramps through the forest with Lulin. [00:10:01] Speaker B: Captain Hunter. [00:10:02] Speaker A: Captain Hunter. I was right. [00:10:04] Speaker B: But that's still an army comic. [00:10:06] Speaker A: It's an army comic, but there's still a little bit of espionage in it. Just a very, very small amount. We've not read one full on espionage comic. [00:10:16] Speaker B: Well, we have read every superhero has like a spy organization. Like influenced by James Bond Spectre. [00:10:23] Speaker A: Yes, but it's. [00:10:24] Speaker B: And in fact there's a spy organization here that's running the new Blackhawks. [00:10:28] Speaker A: They had an opportunity to create something of a higher quality. [00:10:34] Speaker B: Yes. Well, this is Bob Haney, so there's. Your hopes are dashed. [00:10:40] Speaker A: Was it often his series to write? [00:10:44] Speaker B: Yeah, I believe so. [00:10:45] Speaker A: Okay. They didn't just pass it off. After a while you think they would have sort of said, okay, you know what, we're going to give this to Irene Vardenoff. [00:10:54] Speaker B: Oh, I can't wait to see if she writes in about this change. So, yes, we are going to dig the new secret identities. They're called out on the COVID but I'm not going to call it out. [00:11:07] Speaker A: No, don't. [00:11:08] Speaker B: Because we've got several pages of story to get into. [00:11:12] Speaker A: So many words. [00:11:13] Speaker B: Speaking of jumping the shark, I saw an interesting thing today. Henry Winkler was talking about his role as the Fonz. [00:11:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:22] Speaker B: And he said when he was cast, because he was playing a 50s greaser guy, he said, I made a promise to myself that I'm never gonna comb my hair on camera because that's so stereotypical of 50s greasers. And then of course, he gets the script on the first day and the first stage direction is Fonzie combs his hair in the mirror. [00:11:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:44] Speaker B: So he, that's why he did the thing. Walk up to the mirror and pull his comb out and look at his hair and go, ah, it's perfect. [00:11:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. That was his signature move. Yes. Yeah. [00:11:57] Speaker B: He also promised himself that he wasn't gonna roll cigarettes up in his T shirt. But I think that he was overruled. [00:12:04] Speaker A: Oh, was he? [00:12:05] Speaker B: In my memory? [00:12:06] Speaker A: I don't think I was seeing him smoking. [00:12:08] Speaker B: He never was seen smoking, but he always had a pack of cigarettes rolled up in his T shirt. At least in the first season. [00:12:13] Speaker A: Okay, yeah, I don't know. [00:12:16] Speaker B: I'll have to buy the complete series on DVD and review it. I'll get back to you. Well, what are you moaning about? Let's play $10 on Amazon. [00:12:25] Speaker A: No, it's not the money. It's having that in the house and you watching it all the time. [00:12:30] Speaker B: You don't have to watch it in the last two blockbusting issues. Rob, as you may recall, we were brought the amazing story of how a group of superheroes met with a man known as the Long L in a certain office in Washington D.C. long Lyndon B. Johnson. Yeah, it's Superman. Batman, Green Lantern and Flash have come to meet with the President to inform him that the Blackhawks are washed up and they shouldn't be allowed to crime fight anymore. First of all, who's running around allowing vigilantes to operate or not? No, they don't. Batman doesn't ask for permission, he just does it. [00:13:17] Speaker A: He's independently funded. [00:13:19] Speaker B: Yes. Now Blackhawk, leader of the Blackhawks, has begged the Big L for one more chance to prove that they aren't washed up. And Batman sticks up for him, says we believe that they deserve it after all they've done for Uncle Sam. The free world, however, the Emperor, ruler of all international crime combines has has decided to teach the forces of law and order a lesson by wiping out the Black Hawks thinking they're easy prey. The government team from George. That's an acronym standing for group for extermination of organizations of Revenge, greed and evil. Find the Black Hawk island has been deserted. The Black Hawks are missing. [00:14:11] Speaker A: Mm. [00:14:12] Speaker B: And the the Emperor's organization has also found this out. And now everyone's hunting the Blackhawks right now. Last issue we discovered that. Oh well, we should mention that the Blackhawks all disbanded and went into hiding so they could establish new identities. [00:14:34] Speaker A: Yes, but Black Hawk is in a giant kite flying in the sky. [00:14:38] Speaker B: Black Hawk himself is now known as Bigeye. And he's in a huge hawk shaped space kite. Space kite floating miles above the earth. It's a double headed hawk similar to the imperial crest of Austria. Only that's an eagle, of course. Duh. And Hendrickson, we learned last issue is in London and has fashioned himself as the weapons master Chuck, the American on the team has a flying saucer with which he can tap into telephone lines. [00:15:21] Speaker A: And he wears pajamas. [00:15:23] Speaker B: He wears pajamas with ears. And he's Called the Listener because he knows the sound of crime. [00:15:30] Speaker A: Now, in this panel on the top right, are these. Hendy's boyfriend's passed out after an evening with him. [00:15:34] Speaker B: No. As you recall, the agents of the Emperor have come to attack each Black Hawk member. [00:15:41] Speaker A: Oh, oh, oh. Okay, okay, okay. [00:15:43] Speaker B: And that's how we're learning that of their new identities. No, he doesn't have lovers, as far as I know. [00:15:50] Speaker A: Okay. All right. [00:15:51] Speaker B: I mean, he lived. Until two issues ago, he lived on an island with six other men. And they all slept in the same room. [00:15:59] Speaker A: And worked out together. [00:16:00] Speaker B: And worked out together, solved crimes. So I don't know what kind of arrangement they've got there, but how progressive. All right. Chuck is contacting Big Eye in his space kite, And Big Eye knows that Hendrickson was almost knocked off by assassins from the Emperor, who's the head of world crime, and he wants to warn the other Blackhawks. The only problem is they don't know where anyone is, and they weren't scheduled to rendezvous for several more days. [00:16:32] Speaker A: Indeed. [00:16:34] Speaker B: Well, we've got to find them. [00:16:36] Speaker A: Which panel are you reading? [00:16:37] Speaker B: I'm on page three, top panel. [00:16:39] Speaker A: Okay. That's why I can't find it. [00:16:41] Speaker B: I forgot to mention that also, the Blackhawks, as part of their reorganization, were ordered to lose their stereotypical European accents, which have been used so delightfully throughout the run of the series. Luckily, Olaf didn't get the message yet, because, in a Swedish style, a strong but dejected figure walks toward a dingy slum building. I wouldn't think they have slums in Sweden. [00:17:09] Speaker A: We don't know. We weren't in Sweden in 1967. [00:17:12] Speaker B: No, we weren't. But you know who was? ABBA. They didn't come from a slum. They weren't ABBA yet, but they were all alive. I'm gonna. We have a friend in Sweden. I'm gonna get her onto it. [00:17:24] Speaker A: I'm sure in the 1960s, a lot of the European cities still had slum regions. They were still digging out of the war, the Second World War. Still rebuilding. [00:17:34] Speaker B: I don't think Sweden was involved in World War II. [00:17:37] Speaker A: Well, they were neutral, but. Okay, when I say they were still, I mean, like, Europe itself was generally digging itself still rebuilding after World War II. [00:17:49] Speaker B: I just think that Sweden was created out of whole cloth with no slums. It just sprang forth from the head of Zeus. [00:17:57] Speaker A: Well, we haven't been there, have we? [00:17:59] Speaker B: No, not yet. It's on my bucket list anyway. Olaf's in the Swedish slum. The only Swedish slum. In existence and he can't find a job. Nobody wants it. [00:18:11] Speaker A: Nobody wants to hire an acrobat without a word. Acrobat. [00:18:15] Speaker B: Listener. My ex brother in law was a sound engineer and he worked on a film. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Oh, God. [00:18:25] Speaker B: Called Circus Island. Starring the Landers sisters and Ed Marinero. [00:18:33] Speaker A: Marino, not Marinaro. Not like the sauce I think it is. Can't be. [00:18:40] Speaker B: I'm gonna look it up right now. [00:18:42] Speaker A: Can't be. It has to be. Marino. [00:18:44] Speaker B: M A R I N O. Ed Marinero, American actor. Shut. [00:18:49] Speaker A: Are you serious? [00:18:50] Speaker B: Yes, I know what I'm talking about. [00:18:52] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Okay, so listen. [00:18:54] Speaker B: Anyway, Circus Island. [00:18:55] Speaker A: Circus island is. [00:18:56] Speaker B: You'll never have heard of it because it never aired anywhere, but I have a secret dvd. [00:19:00] Speaker A: It is awful. It is so, so horrible. It is fantastic. [00:19:05] Speaker B: Ed Marinero marries one of the Landers sisters and has a child. And then they get divorced. And then he falls in love with the other Landers sister, not knowing that they're sisters. And then when the whole family gets together, what chaos. Anyway, they own a circus island. They own a circus island. And in the Keys. Because Ed Marinero is a trapeze artist. And he's unwilling and unable to do anything else but be a circus trapeze artist. [00:19:33] Speaker A: Right? [00:19:33] Speaker B: Right. After living in poverty for several years, he founds Circus Island. Also, the ghost of his dead grandpa, who's also a trapeze artist, haunts the. [00:19:44] Speaker A: Island and talks to the children. [00:19:46] Speaker B: Talks to the children and spots them when they're on the trapeze. [00:19:50] Speaker A: That's right. I forgot about that. Dead gramps does talk to them all the time. [00:19:55] Speaker B: True. Happy days. I'm gonna watch that tonight. [00:19:57] Speaker A: Oh, my God. It's such a good movie. [00:19:59] Speaker B: No, it's not. [00:20:00] Speaker A: I mean, like, it's truly, truly horrible. [00:20:03] Speaker B: It's very bad. And all the language. [00:20:04] Speaker A: Can you think of anything else that's as bad as Circus Island? [00:20:07] Speaker B: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls? [00:20:09] Speaker A: Yes. Okay. I would Watch Circus Island 100 times before I watch beyond the Valley of the Dolls again. [00:20:15] Speaker B: Also, all the Lander sisters, real life children are in it. And if you thought the Lander sisters were not good actors, when you meet their kids. [00:20:22] Speaker A: Their kids. Yes. [00:20:24] Speaker B: Oh, I'm just gonna have to. Maybe I'll put that on YouTube and send a secret link to our listeners. [00:20:31] Speaker A: All the footage of the kids. All the. Like the. The footage of the kids doing their circus tricks. Because Circus island, the business is that you can't. [00:20:38] Speaker B: It's a camp for kids. [00:20:39] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:20:40] Speaker B: That's their business model, isn't There a. [00:20:42] Speaker A: Dolphin in that somehow involved in this, too? Like, don't they train dolphins or something? Or is there a lot of footage? [00:20:48] Speaker B: There's a brunette teenage girl who's the villain of the piece, and she slashes people's ropes, but dead grandpa brings her around. She turns good in the end. [00:21:00] Speaker A: And cousins. Do you remember that line? [00:21:02] Speaker B: Yes, because then all the children from the two different sisters meet for the first time, and they realize that they're trying to work out the familial relationship because they're step siblings and cousins. Oh, it's the best God. All right. So of course, these evil agents are tracking Olaf because they're going to attack the Blackhawks one by one. So Olaf goes into this slum shack and surprises the agents that are trailing him, and there's a mighty explosion, and out comes Olaf in a metal suit with rubberized soles on his feet. He can bounce around. He's called the Leaper Power. [00:21:53] Speaker A: Right, Leaper. [00:21:56] Speaker B: Yes. Now, I don't understand why he's so dejected in that first panel. Because he's obviously going to this shack to get his magic suit so he can leap around. [00:22:08] Speaker A: Maybe everybody, maybe he had aspired to have a job and in secret, be the leaper, but that will indeed be the thing that he does for him. [00:22:17] Speaker B: That will be his job. Yes. Well, PI Yimini, he banned yump around like bouncing boy. [00:22:23] Speaker A: Now, I've never met anyone from Sweden or befriended. I'm sure I've met someone from Sweden, but I've never befriended anyone from Sweden. I don't get the use of the word bon or ban. [00:22:35] Speaker B: He throws it into conjugation of their verb of to be. [00:22:40] Speaker A: Okay, all right. [00:22:41] Speaker B: That's my assumption. I don't know. With a single bound, the former Black Hawk, soon to be known to the world as the leaper, covers the distance between himself and his foes, they fire upon him. But of course, he's wearing this armor, and he's practically indestructible. [00:23:04] Speaker A: He's supposed to look like a giant spring, I think, with those two round things. [00:23:08] Speaker B: Yeah, he looks like the Michelin Man a little bit. He swings around the sword of a statue of St Olaf and flies at his attackers and knocks them off the roof to their death. [00:23:23] Speaker A: Wow. That's three pages of one fight. [00:23:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Then rising and flexing like a high board diver, the leaper takes off again over the sleeping city. He travels using parkour. I'm gonna use that word whenever I can. [00:23:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:23:42] Speaker B: Until he reaches a single lighted window, an old gentleman making Some hot chocolate. This is Professor Nielsen, who made the suit that saved his life tonight. But Olaf's requesting more bounce. Easily fixed. Only a matter of adding addressing. [00:24:02] Speaker A: More compression to the rubber motors, which are really very similar to Flubber, the super balls children play with. [00:24:10] Speaker B: Is that what those balls were called? I just called them Superballs. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:13] Speaker B: Flubber, I would think, was copyrighted or trademarked by the Walt Disney Company. [00:24:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:20] Speaker B: Of course. The shock lifters are titanium reinforced. I don't know why I said titanium. It's titanium. [00:24:29] Speaker A: Nuclear. Nuclear. Nuclear. [00:24:33] Speaker B: And contain air at pressure much greater than those children's toys. Which gives you your new powers. [00:24:38] Speaker A: You ban pretty smart, Professor. I can't do a Swedish accent. [00:24:41] Speaker B: No, he's increased the pressure, which will give you more bounce. And it's too bad I can't show that wise guy circus manager these powers. He'd have to hire me then. But I bet the other Blackhawks will be surprised when we all have our reunion. I bet a circus manager would hire him, even with the suit. Why wouldn't he? [00:25:02] Speaker A: Well, how's he going to continue to do operations with the Black Hawk team if he's employed in a traveling circus? It's certainly not a permanent circus. There's no permanent circus anywhere. [00:25:13] Speaker B: I bet there is in Sweden, because Sweden has everything. Wonderful. Permanent circuses. No, slums. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Abba, you've thought of everything. [00:25:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Swedish fish. [00:25:28] Speaker A: What? [00:25:30] Speaker B: Butter cookies. Oh, no, that's Denmark with the butter cookies. [00:25:32] Speaker A: They do enjoy a good, good life in Sweden. They do. Smoked fish, love of the outdoors, Beautiful, beautiful places. [00:25:42] Speaker B: Six months of no sunlight. [00:25:44] Speaker A: Only if you live where our friends live. [00:25:48] Speaker B: All right. Now, what about the remaining Blackhawks? Can they develop new powers and identities in time to get to the end of this issue? [00:25:54] Speaker A: Clarify. I had mentioned earlier that we haven't befriended any Swedish. When I mention our friends in Sweden, they're Americans. [00:26:00] Speaker B: They're Americans that live in Sweden and work in Sweden. [00:26:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:03] Speaker B: Actually, there was a gal in my high school, an exchange student from Sweden. Katarina. Katarina, yes. She's a lovely girl. Blonde, of course. Blue eyes. [00:26:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:13] Speaker B: All right. The emperor has come to see his goons, and they're in some kind of a danger room situation. They've got one of those robots that swings a mace around they could practice with. They've got. Well, the emperor has leopards on leashes. [00:26:30] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:31] Speaker B: And an eagle on his arm and a golden mask covering his face, so we don't know who he is. [00:26:39] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:26:40] Speaker B: The goons are practicing with their sonic stun guns. And they Are making two agents of Ogre. You remember Ogre? They fought Aquaman. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Organization for general revenge and evil. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Oh, no, that's not it. Because I got corrected by Chuck the other day. Yes, I'm gonna have to look it up. [00:27:03] Speaker A: Oh, while you're looking that up, I noticing this. What? This warrior thing that they're fighting. What did you call it? You had a good name for it. [00:27:16] Speaker B: You know, it's one of those medieval things, like it would have been. [00:27:22] Speaker A: Has a mace and a shield. [00:27:23] Speaker B: It's like it swings around. Has a mace and a shield. [00:27:26] Speaker A: That reminds me of one time. At one time, I had the money to do this. And I hired a trainer to strengthen work with me to increase my strength. And he employed the use of a heavy bag. He trained me to. I used boxing gloves. Boy, did I love that. Oh, my gosh, that was a great work. [00:27:48] Speaker B: I recall that you. [00:27:49] Speaker A: I loved it. I loved it. It was so much fun. It was exhausting. I was so surprised. But. And that. And the. What's that bag called, that you go heavy. Oh, no, the little. I don't remember. Can't remember what it's called. [00:28:05] Speaker B: The ball sack. [00:28:06] Speaker A: Yes. Hitting the giant scrotum. Yes. [00:28:08] Speaker B: Organization for general revenge and enslavement. [00:28:12] Speaker A: Enslavement. Thank you. That'll keep Chuck off your back for a week. [00:28:16] Speaker B: Anyways, Knights of Sea crossover. I believe Aquaman at this time was also edited by George Cashton. So that made it easy to have a little cross over there. Anyway, these ochre agents are dead now because the giant robot Gargantua is smashing their heads into the floor. [00:28:33] Speaker A: This must have been the first time I fell asleep reading this comic because Gargantua actually continues on the pages following. And when I turn back to it, I was like, what the hell's this? What's this thing? Gargantua. Right. And then eventually, Gargantua will meet his own doom. [00:28:50] Speaker B: Spoiler alert. [00:28:51] Speaker A: Well, no. Eventually, it could be this issue. It is this issue. And I was like, oh, who is this? What? What? [00:28:59] Speaker B: What? [00:29:02] Speaker A: Do you interest me enough to turn back one page to find out who it was? [00:29:07] Speaker B: All right, We've met the weapons master, the listener, the leaper and the big eye. Now, let's zero in on a certain character in Paris, France. I wonder who it could be. [00:29:18] Speaker A: Now, this part of the comic, I did enjoy. Mm. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Okay. [00:29:24] Speaker A: No, really, really did. [00:29:26] Speaker B: So we have Monsieur Machine. Monsieur Machine who is operating a merry go round. Except instead of animals, it's got machines on it, like a mechanical dragon and a bulldozer. [00:29:43] Speaker A: Things of that nature and the children are having fun. [00:29:46] Speaker B: Children love it. Monsieur, machine looks a little bedraggled. One time when I was a child. [00:29:56] Speaker A: Who's doing the tangents now to this tangent? [00:29:58] Speaker B: It's me. It's my turn. I get a chance. [00:30:00] Speaker A: I'm not criticizing. I'm just surprised. [00:30:03] Speaker B: Well, I was at the Ohio State Fair with my older sister. And generally, as a rule, because my father worked at the Ohio State Fair, we were not allowed to ride rides because he saw them being put together, we were not allowed to ride them. But for some reason, we'd been allowed to ride the Ferris wheel. [00:30:21] Speaker A: I know nothing could go wrong on that. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Nothing except that the bedraggled gentleman operating the machine who had a Mason jar full of red juice that had crust in the bottom of it, would not turn it off. We were on there for about 25 minutes. We couldn't get off. And we were the only people on stuck on the Ferris wheel, going around. [00:30:45] Speaker A: And around, seeing the same thing over and over again with him and his red drink. [00:30:51] Speaker B: I wasn't crying, but I was certainly bored and ready to get off. Go to the. I think we were also allowed to go on the giant slide where you get your burlap sack. [00:31:00] Speaker A: I love the giant slide. [00:31:01] Speaker B: Oh, I know, right? Yeah. Otherwise, our fair activity was confined to seeing musical acts such as the Osmond family and the Stray Cats. The Grandstand. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Amy Grant. [00:31:13] Speaker B: Amy Grant. Alabama. [00:31:17] Speaker A: All the Gold. [00:31:19] Speaker B: No, not Alabama. Oak Ridge Boys. [00:31:22] Speaker A: Oak Ridge Boys. [00:31:22] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:31:26] Speaker A: That'S it, Elvira. That's it. [00:31:31] Speaker B: And. Or we could spend the day riding around in a golf cart with my father and going talk to the cattlemen and Uncle Sam on stilt. I don't know what his job was, but he got a golf cart. [00:31:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:44] Speaker B: All right. Now, this bearded jungle. [00:31:48] Speaker A: Wouldn't your father work at the. For his vacation? Yes, he had a real job. [00:31:52] Speaker B: He had a real job in it before they called it it. And he would take a summer vacation off to work at the Ohio State Fair. [00:32:00] Speaker A: Yes. [00:32:01] Speaker B: Loved it. I say he loved it. He probably had to, to keep me in Fisher Price Toys. Probably. My demanding needs and wants. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:13] Speaker B: All right. [00:32:14] Speaker A: Your dad was at home among the carnies, though. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:32:17] Speaker A: 100%. [00:32:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:32:19] Speaker A: Your dad could tell a story. I mean, he wasn't all, you know. Your father was an interesting character. Very interesting character. And he could tell a story and would make people laugh and laugh and laugh. He was very good. [00:32:34] Speaker B: He could, could and would talk to anyone and he could say anything to anyone, no matter how insulting and they Would laugh about it. [00:32:42] Speaker A: You inherited that superpower. [00:32:44] Speaker B: I did, didn't I? [00:32:45] Speaker A: It's genetic. [00:32:47] Speaker B: Now, this bizarre carousel comes to a halt. There's this old bearded gentleman who wants a ride. The seal machine says, no, it's only for children. And he says, but I am a child myself in my heart. Danger, Danger. I have always loved machines, and yours are so wonderful. Here, will these gold coins convince you? [00:33:10] Speaker A: Throws a bunch of doubloons in his hand. [00:33:13] Speaker B: Yes. Now, this guy gets onto the bulldozer carriage and suddenly takes control of it. And the bulldozer is grabbing up Monsieur Machine. [00:33:24] Speaker A: Ma foi. What happens? [00:33:26] Speaker B: Well, that must be Andre of the Blackhawks. [00:33:29] Speaker A: Yes, of course. [00:33:30] Speaker B: And this gentleman is Gargantua. [00:33:32] Speaker A: Yes. The robot. [00:33:35] Speaker B: Yes. Now Andre starts singing a song. [00:33:42] Speaker A: Oh, you know this one? [00:33:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:45] Speaker A: Or did you just make that up? [00:33:46] Speaker B: I just. It's. What's that Foray song? Anyway, that's the way he. [00:34:06] Speaker A: The damn title's in the words. [00:34:08] Speaker B: I know. We'll find it out later. Anyway, that's the tune. That's how he controls the machines. [00:34:33] Speaker A: Oh, God. I know. I've touched the words. Of course, it's much slower than that. [00:34:45] Speaker B: It's very. But I, I, I. [00:34:47] Speaker A: There's one listener who's going to be sending me a text. [00:34:49] Speaker B: Actually, two listeners are going to send a text. [00:34:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:52] Speaker B: All right. Well, that's how he's controlling the machines, because the aforementioned mechanical dragon grabs up Gargantua in its pincers and starts crushing him. Well. [00:35:06] Speaker A: Au Bordelote by Gabriel Faure. [00:35:08] Speaker B: Yes. I knew it was going to be. [00:35:10] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:35:11] Speaker B: All right. Gargantua, of course, is mighty strong. And he starts smashing all the rest of the machines, wrecking the whole carousel. Andre takes off in his car boat to his secret headquarters, which is an ancient mill sitting astride a small river. Because as. How cool is this? [00:35:30] Speaker A: How cool is this? Like, this comic is so awful, but this is really cool. This is the kind of direction you should have gone. You should have had the secret. Not the flying space kite or the UFO that taps into wires. Like, this is so James Bond. Like, takes a. What do you call that? [00:35:51] Speaker B: A car? Boat. [00:35:52] Speaker A: Damn it. There's a word for it. [00:35:54] Speaker B: A car boat. [00:35:55] Speaker A: Okay, go ahead, go ahead. [00:35:56] Speaker B: A sea car. No, an aquatic. [00:36:02] Speaker A: Oh, I can't think of the word. [00:36:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God. It's one word. It describes a vehicle that goes both. [00:36:09] Speaker A: On air and water. [00:36:12] Speaker B: Like the duck bus in Daytona Beach. [00:36:14] Speaker A: Yes, it's like that. [00:36:15] Speaker B: Oh, I'm driving in nuts. [00:36:16] Speaker A: Okay, so he takes this vehicle, drives it around Amphicar amphibious amphibious vehicle into the river and then it rides onto a blade of the wind of the water mill. Which then secretly takes it into this secret awesome high tech lair. [00:36:36] Speaker B: This is great. [00:36:38] Speaker A: But we don't get any more of that. [00:36:39] Speaker B: No. Now, Andre, amphibious car. [00:36:42] Speaker A: What the heck? Go ahead. [00:36:46] Speaker B: Andrej gets into his radio. He knows the Blackhawks are not supposed to rendezvous for days yet. But he must make contact somehow. Meantime, in the underground lair of a long dead Roman ruler, which is now the headquarters of a modern tyrant, the Emperor lord of world crime, they have picked up implants in Gargantua's body, that he is injured and that his victim, Andre escapes. Emperor does not understand. But he's going to give Gargantua another chance. [00:37:19] Speaker A: Right, because his gladiators failed. And now his giant robot has failed. [00:37:24] Speaker B: Luckily they can remotely give Gargantua plasma and a stimulation charge to hasten his recovery. [00:37:32] Speaker A: Plasma infusion. I'm assuming that's not actual human grade blood. But human, you know, Plasma. Right. It must be some sort of energy solution like Red Bull. [00:37:44] Speaker B: Clear. If Gargantu was a robot or. [00:37:46] Speaker A: No way. [00:37:47] Speaker B: He's not a robot human. Well then it must be human plasma they can transmit over the airwaves. [00:37:53] Speaker A: It's energy plasma. [00:37:55] Speaker B: I think it's blood plasma. I think it's like a Willy Wonka situation. That they can transmit solid matter over television waves. Okay, like Mike tv. [00:38:04] Speaker A: Agree to disagree. Now we go into a stupid, stupid characterization of abilities. [00:38:14] Speaker B: Gargantua has received a new assignment. So sometime later, at an international chess tournament in Venice, city of canals, this Asian gentleman is playing six chess games at once and winning every match. How delicately his hands move the pieces. And in rapid succession. Success. Succession. Checkmate. Check. Checkmate. Check. Check. He won every game. Now, I haven't played chess very often in my life. I don't believe it's a game of speed. [00:38:54] Speaker A: No, it's not a game where how fast your hands move is an indicator of your ability to win. It's a mind game. [00:39:02] Speaker B: It's a mind game. [00:39:03] Speaker A: Yes, it is. It's a thinking person's game. [00:39:06] Speaker B: Yes. Speed is not an asset. [00:39:10] Speaker A: Now you can. Professional chess players can play rapid chess games. [00:39:14] Speaker B: Sure, but they have to know what they're. They have to think about their move. [00:39:18] Speaker A: Yes. So this is. So what I'm saying is we focus on his hands as the ability that he has. While soon we'll actually discover what the secret of his hands are. It has absolutely nothing to do with his intelligence or his ability to reason out and Play six games of chess and beat six opponents at the same time. [00:39:39] Speaker B: Also, you know what else? It wouldn't have any effect on how fast he can move his hands, because that's coming from his shoulders and arms, and his hands are encased in metal. [00:39:49] Speaker A: And why is he called Dr. Hands? Does he have a doctorate? Has he achieved. In the short time the third issue of this story. He now has a doctorate. [00:40:00] Speaker B: We don't know. You know, one time when I worked at the University of Maryland University College Library, which had no books. I believe I mentioned that last week. [00:40:09] Speaker A: I often forget that you worked at the University of Maryland University College Library. [00:40:14] Speaker B: Which had no books. [00:40:15] Speaker A: How long did you work there? [00:40:16] Speaker B: Just to summer. It's while you were up doing summer stock. [00:40:19] Speaker A: Okay, okay. [00:40:20] Speaker B: And I worked with a young woman named Benilda. She was from the Philippines. [00:40:27] Speaker A: Oh, sorry. I shouldn't laugh. [00:40:29] Speaker B: No, you shouldn't. [00:40:30] Speaker A: It's a great name. [00:40:30] Speaker B: Because guess what? She's working summer job in the library with no books, like I am. Cause she was a lawyer in the Philippines. [00:40:39] Speaker A: Wow. [00:40:40] Speaker B: And here she comes to America and have to sit in the library with no books all day. [00:40:44] Speaker A: I just, like. [00:40:45] Speaker B: This is like dawn of the Internet. So there's nothing to look at. We didn't have cell phones. [00:40:50] Speaker A: Was it like a giant room? Like a minimalist room with two monitors and two desks and two telephones, and the two of you just sit there? [00:40:58] Speaker B: I was in, like, a little closet office. [00:41:00] Speaker A: Oh. [00:41:02] Speaker B: And I don't know what happened. There were bigwigs out in the main room, and they would summon me occasionally, and they have had Xeroxed something which I had to deliver to another part of the campus or take to the mail room or something. [00:41:15] Speaker A: My goodness. They didn't have pneumatic mail tubes. [00:41:18] Speaker B: No. Can you imagine? It was an interregnum between pneumatic Miltubes and Internet. [00:41:25] Speaker A: I did enjoy working at the University of Maryland campus. Of course, I got to work in the performing arts fields. [00:41:30] Speaker B: Yes, you got to do important things, not sit in a room with. [00:41:33] Speaker A: Well, you did have a teaching fellowship during the regular. [00:41:36] Speaker B: But this was the summer, so. [00:41:38] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:41:39] Speaker B: No fun zone. Plus, my husband was out of town having fun, so, yes, I was. All right. Dr. Hands has gone outside for breath of fresh air and a cigarette, and he's offered a gondola ride. He doesn't really have a cigarette, of course. He doesn't smoke. Now he announces out loud that he digs the boat the most. The boat bit. He digs the boat bit the most. So let's go, Daddy O. [00:42:08] Speaker A: When I read that sentence, I had to read it several times because the boat bit. It did not occur to me that he was talking about the bit being the idea of riding in a boat. Right. I read it as I dig the boat bit the most. Dig the boat bit the most. And I was like, what the hell? He did what? He did what? And then I went, oh, I get it. Since I dig the boat bit the most. [00:42:34] Speaker B: Well, I will say the exclamation point on the lower line is deceptive. Because it looks like it could be a comma after the word. [00:42:41] Speaker A: It does. Thank you. Thank you. [00:42:44] Speaker B: All right, so we've recognized Daughter Hands as Chop Chop. That's easy. But what's coming next? Well, the gondolier driver, the Gondolieri. Gondolieri is Gargantua. [00:42:57] Speaker A: Yes. He throws a net over chop chop or doctor. Dr. [00:43:02] Speaker B: Hands. [00:43:03] Speaker A: But the net, even though it is a steel mesh with magnetic weights that no ordinary human could break. The net is no match for Dr. [00:43:13] Speaker B: Hands. No, he's not an ordinary cat. Large Daddy O. His gloved hands smash against the enfolding net and rip it to shreds. [00:43:21] Speaker A: Then the gondolier attacks him with his ore staff. [00:43:27] Speaker B: His ore staff. And it's smashed to bits against the hands. And then he's going to attack Chop Chop with his bare hands. And Chop Chop gives him a karate chop and knocks him overboard. [00:43:40] Speaker A: Right. And then the gondolier disappears into the water. [00:43:45] Speaker B: Yes, he sinks into the water. Dr. Hands, alias Chop Chop, needs to contact the other Blackhawks. Chuck reports that he's made contact with Olaf Andre and Chop Chop. The Emperor's Wipeout guys tried to get them all, but they somehow survived. And they're planning their rendezvous. They're pushing it ahead. And meanwhile, back in the lair of the Emperor. [00:44:19] Speaker A: For a group of guys who have separated to maintain their secret identities and still keep their organization loosely gathered over connections, wireless connections and such, they're still using. It surprises me that they still use their names. Their real names. [00:44:37] Speaker B: Right. [00:44:37] Speaker A: They all have. They're all creating for themselves Personas and alternate names like Dr. Hands and the Machinist. But when they're talking to each other, passing signals back and forth, they use both their names and their real names. Both their code names and their real names. [00:44:54] Speaker B: Yes. And they could be Blue Jacked. [00:44:56] Speaker A: Well, actually, we might have, when we already encountered where they've been overheard. They are being monitored. [00:45:02] Speaker B: They are being monitored by the Emperor? Yes. All right. We learn now that Gargantua has had an Infusion of water into lungs beyond maximum allowable. In other words, he's drowned. [00:45:15] Speaker A: Yes. [00:45:17] Speaker B: And this is why I thought he was a robot. Because the guy says he was not programmed to swim. But obviously if he has lungs, he's not a robot. [00:45:28] Speaker A: Okay, I see your point. [00:45:32] Speaker B: And yes, scant minutes later, they have intercepted the message between the Blackhawks. They know when the new rendezvous is going to be. The emperor. [00:45:44] Speaker A: Great job, Blackhawks. You guys are idiots. [00:45:47] Speaker B: The emperor strips down to his tighty whities, which aren't so tight. [00:45:52] Speaker A: That's a wrap cloth. [00:45:54] Speaker B: Like what A. Oh, like a Roman emperor. Okay. He summons forth his armor, which is a full body golden suit. And flies off to meet the last Black Hawk, which is Stan. [00:46:12] Speaker A: Now we come to book three, part three. [00:46:15] Speaker B: Yes. Inside the fabulous Hawk kite, which is the headquarters of Big Eye, a sentimental reunion is taking place. All the Blackhawks are there to introduce their new identities to each other. Olaf can yump over practically anything, which. [00:46:42] Speaker A: Is, I'm sure, very easy to do. Inside their double headed Hawk Kite. [00:46:46] Speaker B: Inside a kite? Yes. Chop chop. Explains that his hands are encased in pure beryllium. Meaning he can smash through anything. Now, is this encasement permanent? Because. How is he? Well, I don't want to be angelic. How is he taking care of his personal hygiene, if you get my drift. [00:47:11] Speaker A: Oh, I do. Well, I thought about it. Just a sweating. It's a chemical element. Yes, with the symbol of be and atomic number four. It's a lightweight, strong and brittle alkaline earth metal. [00:47:21] Speaker B: Oh, well, that's not gonna work then if you're doing karate chops all day. [00:47:25] Speaker A: It's steel gray in color. Beryllium is notable for its high melting point and excellent thermal conductivity. It is primarily used in alloys for aerospace and and nuclear applications. As well as in electrical contacts and non sparking tools. However, it is also important to note that beryllium is toxic and can pose health risks. [00:47:43] Speaker B: Jesus. [00:47:43] Speaker A: If inhaled or ingested. Nice crack researching skills there, right? [00:47:52] Speaker B: Well, it was the 60s, you know. They didn't think about things like that. We played with. I'm old enough that I played with mercury on my desk. [00:48:00] Speaker A: I might have two. [00:48:03] Speaker B: All right. Henderson Hendrickson is the weapons master. He's hard of hearing, as you may remember. That was part of why he was getting drummed out of superhero. So he's got a little ear horn. Andre is monsieur Machine. Chuck is a listener. We know that Black Hawk is addressing us directly through the fourth wall to say, I think now the Blackhawks can Unstick the antique label Uncle Sam pasted on us. But where's Stan? [00:48:38] Speaker A: Poor, dumb Stan. Yes, where is Big Stan, the strong man of old Blackhawks very close by. I didn't realize that Stan saw himself Stanislaus. Stan really viewed himself as big and stupid. [00:48:51] Speaker B: But he's going to tell us that he's not. Big is the thing. Olaf's the big one. [00:48:57] Speaker A: Really? [00:48:57] Speaker B: And Stan's just normal height as far as I can see. [00:48:59] Speaker A: But he. Apparently, Stan is unable to feel pain. [00:49:02] Speaker B: Unable to feel pain. [00:49:04] Speaker A: Which. They should have made him a redhead because redheads are notorious for having high pain tolerance. [00:49:09] Speaker B: They are? [00:49:09] Speaker A: You didn't know that? I knew something you didn't know. Yes, redheads are notorious for having a very high pain tolerance. [00:49:16] Speaker B: I've never heard of that. [00:49:18] Speaker A: What? [00:49:20] Speaker B: No, it's true. I do know that redheads probably get that gene from Neanderthal man. [00:49:26] Speaker A: Yes, redheads do have a higher pain tolerance than the average human. [00:49:32] Speaker B: Well, anyway, that's why Stan is known as the Strongman, because he can punch and punch and not feel pain. He tried to think of a new fighting identity, but I guess old Stan is just too dumb by garbage. Now, here comes the emperor in his flying gold armor, which has a jetpack on his back. He fires some jolts of golden energy to stun Stan, but of course, Stan can't feel pain, so he's unaffected. [00:49:59] Speaker A: So, just so we are clear, the gold energy that he is firing at him comes from the breakdown of gold from the fabulous costume. Energized by the actual atomic breakdown of molecules of pure gold, another killing blast hurtles downwards. Atomic breakdown of molecules. So, in order to send out these gold energy beams, some gold must be broken down atomically. [00:50:30] Speaker B: Right? [00:50:32] Speaker A: So there's some sort of atomic. [00:50:36] Speaker B: I'm going to remind you right now that this is Bob Haney. He's probably just throwing words out. Okay, that sound fancy and scientific. Okay, Not Gardner Fox, who would have an actual scientific explanation of what's happening. [00:50:49] Speaker A: All right. [00:50:53] Speaker B: So Stan picks up a boulder. [00:50:57] Speaker A: And throws it at the emperor. [00:50:59] Speaker B: And throws it at the emperor while saying, don't I have enough problems with no new identity to show the fellas? [00:51:09] Speaker A: That's exactly what I would say when defending my life. [00:51:13] Speaker B: Aw, gee. [00:51:14] Speaker A: On flying man in gold shooting rays at me. Aw, come on. Don't I have enough to think about? Bob asked me what I wanted for dinner tonight, and I haven't come up with anything. [00:51:24] Speaker B: All right. The Roc destroys the main jetpack. We forgot to mention that this suit of armor has a skull and crossed swords on the chest plate. With only retro power, the Golden Centurion, really the emperor of world evil has to land, and that makes him easy prey for Stan, who's gonna punch and punch and punch. Of course, he can't hurt the emperor in his armor, but the emperor does realize that he's got remarkable ability to withstand pain. [00:52:03] Speaker A: So Stan beats the hell out of this guy, but doesn't seem to do any effect on him. Picks him up over his head and then loses his grip and they both go plunging over a cliff. [00:52:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:15] Speaker A: So it looks like it's going to be the end, potentially, of Stan, because the Golden Centurion is going to use his anti gravity belt. [00:52:21] Speaker B: Anti gravity belt. And leave Stan to smash on the rocks below. [00:52:25] Speaker A: Except that Stan rips off the belt. [00:52:28] Speaker B: Yes. And it's not rocks below, it's the ocean. [00:52:31] Speaker A: Well, no, it's described in a few pages. How do I remember this? God, I barely pay attention. It's described in a few pages as a creek. Although it looks like they fell into a deep river. Deep, yes. But it. I mean, look. Look at the bottom right panel on page 21 where he's swimming up to the surface. In its way, yes, it is described as a creek. [00:52:53] Speaker B: Okay, well, maybe Stan agrees to stupid. [00:52:57] Speaker A: Maybe Stan is really stupid. [00:53:00] Speaker B: So Stan strips away the anti gravity belt. They both plunge into the creek. The emperor cannot swim because the armor is weighing him down and he might drown. [00:53:13] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:53:15] Speaker B: He tries to blast to stand with golden energy, but he misses. He falls over to the creek bed. [00:53:24] Speaker A: Yep. And is potentially, we're gonna say, maybe swept away. We don't know. We never see him again. [00:53:29] Speaker B: No, we don't. Well, we've already. Olaf. Killed two guys. Why not Stan get in on the. [00:53:34] Speaker A: So meanwhile, the other Blackhawks hold attention in the long awaited reunion. But they're worried. [00:53:40] Speaker B: They're worried about Stan. Maybe the emperor got him. The rest of you survived because you had brains and came up with new powers, but old Stan is just a lovable muscle head. [00:53:53] Speaker A: Apparently, he's an idiot. [00:53:54] Speaker B: He must have bought it. [00:53:55] Speaker A: Oh, then somebody says, well, who's this? Donave? [00:53:59] Speaker B: Hendrickson. [00:54:00] Speaker A: Hendrickson, Donovan. Which is rain weather, bad weather. [00:54:05] Speaker B: It can't be Der Blackhawks without big Stanislaus. He's not big. [00:54:10] Speaker A: No. Donna's thunder. [00:54:12] Speaker B: Yeah, well, bad weather just aren't Der Blackhawks new identities. Or no new identities. I guess they've forgotten the part where they gave up their accents. Sacre bleu. You are very right, mon ami. [00:54:25] Speaker A: Oh, they are together. They said they can talk with no accents if they want to. [00:54:28] Speaker B: Okay, good, good, good. Suddenly, a heavy metallic tread resounds through the Hawk Kite. [00:54:33] Speaker A: Blazes. Who's the character in the golden armor? [00:54:36] Speaker B: I really hope they're going to continue just calling it the Hawk Kite forever now, right? Only one man has an outfit like that. The Emperor. [00:54:45] Speaker A: The schwein that got stunned. Get him. [00:54:48] Speaker B: Don't worry, the Leaper will get him. Pihominy Leaper leaps into the chest plate and the helmet pops off to reveal Stan. What kind of welcome is that for old muzzlehead? Stupid Stan. [00:55:05] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, it's just fantastic, Stan. Only you would have the dumb luck and the guts and strength to beat up the Emperor and wind up with his armor. He says it was an. I don't know what Stan is. What is he, Polish? Oh, forget it. I can't do a Polish accent. It was easy using his belt to raise it off the creek bottom. The fellow wearing it, he had no more use for it. By dark. He's dead. [00:55:26] Speaker B: Yeah, he's dead for sure. [00:55:28] Speaker A: Wow. This is like a major head of a massive criminal operations fell off with Stan. Stan picked him up. They fell onto a creek, right? [00:55:39] Speaker B: Which is actually a river or the ocean. [00:55:41] Speaker A: Drowned. [00:55:42] Speaker B: Drowned him. [00:55:43] Speaker A: Stan got his armor. He's gone. Like, who's gonna head up the organization now? Head up the crime syndicate? [00:55:50] Speaker B: I guess we'll have to read on. And further. [00:55:52] Speaker A: It's a big deal and it's only just passed off in this. It was easy using his belt to raise it off the creek bottom. The fellow wearing it, he had no more use for it. By gar, that's it. [00:56:01] Speaker B: You'll have use for it, pal. As the latest new identity of the new Blackhawks, the Golden Centurion. [00:56:08] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, now what happens? [00:56:11] Speaker B: Now here comes Mr. Delta, who's the leader of George, who wears a piece of gauze over his T zone like Mr. Terrific. [00:56:23] Speaker A: Do you think it's one of those biore pore strips? Except a large pore strip. [00:56:28] Speaker B: That's what it looks like. A face mask. Yeah, I mean, like a clean face. [00:56:32] Speaker A: When he pulls it off. It's blackheads and all sorts of. He probably has amazing skin underneath that. [00:56:39] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. Look at his hair. You can tell from his hair. He's got. [00:56:42] Speaker A: I'm sure he has an excellent cleansing routine. Yes, he probably uses toner and everything. [00:56:46] Speaker B: Oh, duh. Sea Breeze. Mr. Delta and the champ who's a giant robot would who previously tested the Blackhawks. The Blackhawks assume they've Come to gloat over beating us. But we're not such pushovers now. By Dunder, Mr. Delta explains that he merely brought the champ along as his personal bodyguard. You see, I've been following the Blackhawks figuring I just have to pick up the pieces after the emperors finished you off. But I was wrong. You Blackhawks fooled me and defeated the emperor instead. You've passed the test. I'm recommending that you be put back on Uncle Sam's fighting team right now. [00:57:31] Speaker A: By the way, Blackhawks readers know that even though you think your communications are secret, the head of the arc, you know the criminal organization and Uncle Sam have been monitoring all of your communications. You need to look at that protocol. Yeah, fix it. [00:57:48] Speaker B: You need to have two factor authentication on all your devices is the bottom line. And that's why sometime later in Washington, Lynda B. Johnson is meeting with the Flash, Superman, Batman and Green Lantern to announce that all will be pleased to hear I'm reactivating the Blackhawks as one of our top troubleshooting teams. [00:58:09] Speaker A: Uncharacteristically smiles final report. [00:58:13] Speaker B: A. Ok, that's great. [00:58:15] Speaker A: That's great, sir. Great. [00:58:17] Speaker B: So that shake hands with the reborn Magnificent Seven. [00:58:20] Speaker A: The Roll Call, The Leaper Olaf, Dr. [00:58:23] Speaker B: Hands. [00:58:24] Speaker A: Chop chop. [00:58:24] Speaker B: Weapons Master Hendy, Big Eye, Black Clock, Glistener Chuck, Monsieur Machine Andre, and the Golden Centurion Stan. And that brings us to the latest chapter, panel, page and panel of the Junk Heap Heroes, the series that kicked off the new Blackhawk era. If you've come this far, you deserve a reward. [00:58:45] Speaker A: Jesus. Also, I say. [00:58:48] Speaker B: And you'll get one every month in every issue of the one and only Blackhawks. [00:58:53] Speaker A: Does Irene talk about this on the quote of the letters? [00:58:56] Speaker B: Not in this letter. No, it wouldn't. [00:58:58] Speaker A: She won't. [00:58:59] Speaker B: I doubt she reads Blackhawk. She's much too sophisticated for that. [00:59:02] Speaker A: Oh, I loved it. The Blackhawk byline says it just all people asking for back issues of Black Hawk. [00:59:06] Speaker B: That's the other thing. All of these. The letter column is entirely people asking to trade issues. Earlier issues of Blackhawk. [00:59:14] Speaker A: Do you remember that one issue we read where we did a dramatization? People Just asking. It was like a war comic. Like we were writing war letters back home to our families, just reading what issues they wanted to have. All those were fun. We haven't done a radio drama in a long time. [00:59:29] Speaker B: Well, we'll get back to it. [00:59:30] Speaker A: Don't worry. I know it's a lot of production work. [00:59:32] Speaker B: I'll say. And I'm so. [00:59:34] Speaker A: And I don't do any of it. You do all that? [00:59:36] Speaker B: Yes. And I'm so busy with my household chores. [00:59:38] Speaker A: And our other podcast. [00:59:40] Speaker B: And our other podcast, our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra, where you can find us as well as finding us here every. [00:59:47] Speaker A: Week for which our. [00:59:48] Speaker B: I'm doing it all backwards. You can find us on social media@gogochuckpot. [00:59:52] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:59:52] Speaker B: You can rate and review us on wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. You can rate and review us. [01:00:01] Speaker A: Chuck does all the heavy lifting on that. You do the production work. [01:00:03] Speaker B: Yes, but we're all content creators, aren't we? [01:00:07] Speaker A: Well, I'm more of a content bystander, actually. [01:00:11] Speaker B: You made that joke last night. It never gets old. Anything else to add? [01:00:16] Speaker A: No, this has been delightful. Thank you for allowing me to employ the use of jumping the shark for the term jumping the shark and explaining it. [01:00:26] Speaker B: Thank you for allowing me the chance to have tangents for once. Coming up next week. What is it? My Excel spreadsheet won't open up. No. What's the name of that song? [01:00:45] Speaker A: Au bor de l' eau au bordelot. [01:00:48] Speaker B: Next week, another military adjacent tale. The last issue of Captain Storm. [01:00:57] Speaker A: What? No, I think it's one of the ones that I actually like. [01:01:00] Speaker B: I'm sorry, friend. Oh, no, it's not the end of Captain Storm the character, but it is the last issue of his self titled magazine. [01:01:11] Speaker A: My goodness. You know, we have What? There are 500 different titles that we call 535 issues. Issues that we'll cover, not titles. Issues that we'll cover. Will we see the demise of any other titles during our time? [01:01:27] Speaker B: Yes, we will. Okay, wait, let me double check. [01:01:30] Speaker A: You don't have to tell me. I'm just curious. [01:01:32] Speaker B: Just heading through my. Yes, we will see the demise of the sea devils as well. [01:01:39] Speaker A: Oh, I don't mind that so much. [01:01:42] Speaker B: And of course, we'll see, you know, the last checkerboarded issues of everything we're covering. [01:01:50] Speaker A: Anytime soon. [01:01:52] Speaker B: No, but we are coming up on our 300th episode in a couple more weeks for which I have something special planned. Oh, wow. But yes, next week. Last dish of Captain Storm. And there's another grim duty to be done. Okay, sugar and Spike. [01:02:11] Speaker A: Oh. [01:02:15] Speaker B: Bye. [01:02:17] Speaker C: Hey, Mr. Wind just keep us sailing Keep us sailing along High in the sky there's no curtain Guess we'll have fun. So everyone, come on. Hey, you on the ground. You on the ground. Take a look up and see what we found. Nothing to tie us blue birds come up to guide us when you're beside. [01:02:45] Speaker A: Me we can fly. [01:02:52] Speaker C: Oh, we can fly we can fly hey, everyone on the ground let's fly.