Dog Eat Dog (Superboy 136)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? [00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:01] Speaker A: Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker C: Hang on, hang on, hang on. [00:00:17] Speaker A: Welcome to Checkered Past. A loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob and each week I'll be your Guide on this TR Trippy Tour through 535 Mid Century Masterpieces of Graphic Noveldom. This week, Superboy 136. Cover date March 1967. Cover price $0.12. Cover artists Kurt Swan and George Klein. Edited by Mort Wisinger. Featuring Decoy of the Doom Statues. Written by Otto Binder. Art by George Papp. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:09] Speaker C: See how the fluffy clouds move by us See how the clouds go by See how the morning mist can hide us away Hide us away the town is so much fun. [00:01:24] Speaker B: What? [00:01:25] Speaker A: Crypto reunites with the Space Cave Patrol agents as they try out potential new members. One candidate, Prophetic Pup, makes three predictions using his powers of prognostication. The first two predictions come true. The third is that a hound will lead Superboy into a trap and another hound will save him. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything. [00:01:55] Speaker C: Saturday night at the high school dance A fella came in wearing baggy pants he starts to sing like a wounded hound and the girls all screamed and gathered round Bow wow wow Joe, Joe the duck face boy Bow wow wow Jojo the duck bass boy. [00:02:23] Speaker A: Are you excited? [00:02:25] Speaker B: About what? [00:02:26] Speaker A: About the premiere of Crypto the Motion Picture this weekend. [00:02:30] Speaker B: I am very excited about Crypto the Motion Picture. [00:02:32] Speaker A: Same. [00:02:33] Speaker B: Yeah, that happens. What? Saturday we're gonna go? [00:02:36] Speaker A: Yes. Well, the reviews on social media are all over the place. Are they really? Yes. Well, you know, the people, the Snyder Bros. They're not ever gonna like it. [00:02:49] Speaker B: Who are the Snyder Bros? [00:02:51] Speaker A: Oh, Rob, come on. The Snyderverse. You know, he did the Henry Cavill movie. Oh, Justice League movie. And then he got removed, had to leave. Justice League movie. And then that all went down and people want him to come back. [00:03:09] Speaker B: Okay. Why was he removed from the Justice League? [00:03:11] Speaker A: I think he had a personal tragedy. [00:03:12] Speaker B: I believe so. [00:03:13] Speaker A: He wasn't removed. He self deported. [00:03:16] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. [00:03:19] Speaker A: And there's nothing wrong with those movies, but let's move on. Yeah, of course. Well, I'm gonna give it a chance. I mean, I was always trypto why. [00:03:29] Speaker B: Is there always so much controversy over these DC movies? [00:03:32] Speaker A: Because of white men. [00:03:34] Speaker B: I mean, honestly, everybody goes crazy about the Marvel movies. They could make absolute trash and people are like, another Marvel movie. [00:03:40] Speaker A: Woo hoo. You know, not lately, my friend. [00:03:43] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:03:43] Speaker A: No. They're going downhill. [00:03:45] Speaker B: Oh yeah? [00:03:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:47] Speaker B: Okay. [00:03:48] Speaker A: All right. All right. When you're tuned into the pop culture like I am, you know, I don't. [00:03:53] Speaker B: Really care about that sort of thing. [00:03:55] Speaker A: No, I don't really either, but I'm aware of it. Yeah. [00:03:58] Speaker B: So how's your day going? [00:03:59] Speaker A: Great. I'm working right now. Yeah, well, cool. I'm multitasking. [00:04:03] Speaker B: Okay. I'm on my summer break. [00:04:06] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [00:04:07] Speaker B: And so we've had family here over the weekend and then we have family. [00:04:11] Speaker A: More on the way coming this week. [00:04:13] Speaker B: So where I clean and clean over the last 24 hours. [00:04:17] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:04:18] Speaker B: You are most welcome. And. And we're getting ready to have family. So. Yeah, I'm gonna. After we're done recording, I'm going to take Butler out for some exercise. [00:04:25] Speaker A: And on a day like this, it's 1 billion degrees, it's in the 80s. [00:04:30] Speaker B: But we'll go down to the canal. Okay. And it'll be shaded down there. [00:04:34] Speaker A: I approve. [00:04:35] Speaker B: Yep. [00:04:37] Speaker A: Well, I don't have too much more buildup for this story. [00:04:42] Speaker B: You don't? [00:04:43] Speaker A: Because here they are again, that powerful pack of pooches, the Space Canine Patrol agents. Naturally the most sensational super hound of them all. Crypto is top dog, soon to be star of his own mage motion picture. [00:04:57] Speaker B: Yes. [00:04:58] Speaker A: Along with some other side characters. [00:05:00] Speaker B: Yes. [00:05:00] Speaker A: But this time his master, Superboy gets into the act when a new canine member predicts peril for the Boy of Steel in the form of the Decoy of the Doom tattoo. This is from Superboy number 136, March 1967. Oh, I forgot what more on the Mark Evanier controversy. [00:05:28] Speaker B: Oh, do tell. [00:05:29] Speaker A: Dear listener number two, as they preferred to be identified as. [00:05:35] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:35] Speaker A: Sent me a link to his webpage where he has pronunciation guide for his name. [00:05:42] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:42] Speaker A: It's Evanir. [00:05:43] Speaker B: Evanir. [00:05:44] Speaker A: Evanir. [00:05:45] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:45] Speaker A: All right, great. I think there was even a sound clip. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Evanir. [00:05:50] Speaker A: Evanier. Evanier. That's it. Okay, so thanks, dear listener number two. So everyone else that has a different opinion could just go pound sand, I guess. [00:06:06] Speaker B: I love that pound sand. Cool. [00:06:09] Speaker A: Space Canine Patrol agents last appeared in Superboy number 132 covered right here on this very podcast Roll Call. Chameleon Collie who can change shape. Paul Pooch who can Grow extra paws. Hot dog gets super hot tailed. Terrier can stretch his tail. He's the leader. He's top dog. Bulldog who can grow bullhorns out of his head. Tusky husky who can grow one giant tusk. Tusk out of his mouth. So stupid mammoth. Miss who, girlfriend of the deceased mammoth mutt who can inflate herself. And new prospective member. Prophetic puppet who has a giant cranium. [00:07:00] Speaker B: Which is serves as a crystal ball. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:04] Speaker B: Which must be very difficult to carry around. [00:07:07] Speaker A: Well, if I saw this dog on the streets, I'd take it to be euthanized or at the very least get some kind of expensive surgery. [00:07:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:17] Speaker A: At a ceremony in Smallville one day, Crypto, Superboy's pet superdog, is the guest of honor. We should mention, of course, the Superboy is Superman as a boy, not a separate character. Yes, in this period, yes. Nowadays it is a separate character. I think they might be bringing Superboy as a boy back. [00:07:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:40] Speaker A: I'm so behind on my comics reading. [00:07:42] Speaker B: It's okay. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Good boy, Crypto. Toss the cornerstone in place. Then we'll dedicate the new humane society building to be erected here. How was Crypto holding the cornerstone? [00:07:56] Speaker B: Probably with his paws and teeth or nose. And is that how you build a building? You just throw a big stone in. [00:08:04] Speaker A: The corner, throw it in the ground? Yep, yep. Now there's some fresh cement for Krypto to put his paws in. Just like the footprints at Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, which Krypto knows all about. Yes, of course. [00:08:18] Speaker B: He knows everything about pop culture. [00:08:21] Speaker A: He's very smart. [00:08:22] Speaker B: He's very smart. [00:08:24] Speaker A: Afterwards, the dog of steel is besieged by his many fans who want his autograph, which is just. [00:08:32] Speaker B: He's holding a pen and he puts an X on a piece of paper. [00:08:35] Speaker A: I would argue that if a dog could hold a pen, he would be able to sign a name. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Agreed. I would think they would just have a little pad, ink pad. And he puts his paw print on the paper. [00:08:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Like what? This kid's going to walk around with his sketch pad with a giant X on it and say, that's Crypto signature. I'm not going to buy that. I want a paw print. [00:08:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Later, after donning a unique uniform in the basement of the Kent home. [00:09:00] Speaker A: It's the uniform of the space K9 patrol agents. Why they have to wear full body catsuits, I don't know. [00:09:08] Speaker B: It's basically a jogging suit. Yeah, a fitness suit. [00:09:12] Speaker A: Now Crypto's got a surprise gift to bring to the headquarters of the Space K9 patrol agents. [00:09:19] Speaker B: Space Canine Patrol Agents. No matter how many times I read that, I think of spca. [00:09:24] Speaker A: That's what you're supposed to think of. Crypto reminds us that he became a member through Mammoth mutt. Who's now dead. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Yes, who is now dead. [00:09:36] Speaker A: Meanwhile, at SCPA headquarters, a meeting is about to begin. Top Dog is not there yet, so the rest of the fellows are going to practice their axe. Hey kids, gather round for the canine circus. Chameleon Collie turns into a giant ball. And Paw Pooch grows his extra legs. [00:10:06] Speaker B: And juggles many balls. [00:10:08] Speaker A: Juggles many balls. Including. [00:10:09] Speaker B: Including Chameleon Collie. Bulldog holds up Tusky and Hot Dog on his bullhorns. Tusky is balancing on his tusk. That is a stupidest thing. [00:10:21] Speaker A: I hope that is not a great power. Like if he grew two giant tusks. No, I could see. [00:10:32] Speaker B: Or if every time we tried to talk as the selfs we have to throw the speech impediment. [00:10:39] Speaker A: Or if he grew a tusk out of the top of his head like a unicorn. Yeah, that would be. [00:10:43] Speaker B: Or a narwhal. [00:10:44] Speaker A: Yes, it is like a narwhal. Except it's coming straight out of the roof of his mouth. [00:10:49] Speaker B: Yes. And it's not. It's at an angle. So it's not like it's convenient. He would trip on it if he's not careful. Right. [00:10:55] Speaker A: And what if his power goes haywire and he can't retract it? How does he eat? [00:10:59] Speaker B: Walks around with a giant tooth. With a giant. [00:11:03] Speaker A: How does he walk around? [00:11:05] Speaker B: Giant tooth stuck out of the front of his mouth. I should practice that, that, that. So I can do it faster. [00:11:16] Speaker A: I can't do it at all. [00:11:17] Speaker B: It's just with the tongue. [00:11:20] Speaker A: Well, here comes Top Dog. All right, all right. [00:11:24] Speaker C: Back to work. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Cut the comedy, you dogs. [00:11:28] Speaker B: Like the head elf in Santa Claus. Rudolph threatens reindeer. [00:11:34] Speaker A: All right, all right. [00:11:36] Speaker B: No, not the head elf. The head reindeer. The reindeer coach, is it. Who is it? [00:11:40] Speaker A: Daughter or no? Yeah. [00:11:43] Speaker B: Comet. [00:11:44] Speaker A: Comet. [00:11:45] Speaker B: Comet. Yeah. [00:11:45] Speaker A: All right, all right. Let's everybody get together for your reindeer games. [00:11:48] Speaker B: I won't keep yelling like that. [00:11:49] Speaker A: Okay, thank you. There to introduce the new member. New member. Mammoth miss. Say that three times fast. [00:11:58] Speaker B: Mammoth miss. And who is the mutt with the flexible tail? [00:12:04] Speaker A: A tail terrier. He's top dog. [00:12:06] Speaker B: Yeah. He's going to hold her down. [00:12:09] Speaker A: She might float off. [00:12:10] Speaker B: Well, couldn't she just deflate herself? Is that like that's her power? She can float. Yeah, but has no Control over where she goes? [00:12:17] Speaker A: Apparently not. [00:12:20] Speaker B: We've had a lot of dogs over the years. Trust me, she has a propellant built in. [00:12:25] Speaker A: Yes, well. [00:12:27] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:12:28] Speaker A: I thought you were talking about her tail. In which case, I would. [00:12:30] Speaker B: That would be fun, wouldn't it? [00:12:32] Speaker A: No, because you hate when Flash does that with his arms. [00:12:35] Speaker B: I've. I've given that up. I gave that up for Lent a couple years ago. [00:12:40] Speaker A: Did you? [00:12:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:43] Speaker A: Well, Mammoth Miss is being moored by Tale Terrier's elastic tail. And this is my most exciting part. [00:12:53] Speaker B: What? [00:12:53] Speaker A: They're going to interview other candidates after they convene the meeting. It's just like the Legion of Superheroes when they have this member tryouts. [00:13:02] Speaker B: If I remember, in the last issue, we also had a scene like this where they were interviewing candidates. Probably because it seemed very familiar to me. [00:13:11] Speaker A: But, as usual, they will first salute their emblem, the flag with the constellation Canis Major on it. And repeat their slogan. Big dog, big dog, bow wow, wow we'll crush evil now, now, now. [00:13:34] Speaker B: Stupid. Oh. [00:13:37] Speaker A: Stupid. [00:13:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:38] Speaker A: It's in brightest day, in blackest night and that's Shakespeare. Don't get me started on oaths. Why are you shaking your head at me? [00:13:49] Speaker B: I have no comeback for you. [00:13:52] Speaker A: I didn't think you would. We will now. All right. All right. We'll now examine new applicants. Each must have at least one special power. What is yours? [00:14:02] Speaker B: I'm Hoodoo Hound. I'll pretend you're a canine crook and demonstrate how I can hex you with my evil eye. Drop that, devil. [00:14:13] Speaker A: I'm dropping. All right. On your silly head. Rejected. Now, Hoodoo Hound has a giant eye. Also. I would take to the vet immediately if I saw it wandering the street. He looks like a hyena with one giant misshapen eye. [00:14:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:30] Speaker A: Which apparently doesn't work because he didn't. Was not able to hex Tale Terrier. The next applicant is called Prophetic Pup. [00:14:41] Speaker B: Prophetic Pup has a giant inflated cranium. [00:14:45] Speaker A: Yes. [00:14:46] Speaker B: And apparently it casts. [00:14:50] Speaker A: Well, he can form images on his shiny domed head and look into the future. Which, if it's on his head, how does he see it? [00:15:02] Speaker B: He thinks it. Everybody else sees it. [00:15:06] Speaker A: What's that game Heads Up? [00:15:08] Speaker B: Heads Up? [00:15:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Where everyone just screams. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And you have to guess what they're trying to say to you. [00:15:13] Speaker A: Yes. All right. They agree to accept Prophetic Pup if he can make three correct predictions. First prediction. I see Crypto coming here on a surprise visit with a gift for the scpa. That's old news. We already know that's happening now. Watch the next image, which will show what's inside the gift box. [00:15:38] Speaker B: Which we as readers don't get to see. [00:15:39] Speaker A: No, we don't get to see it. But Top Dog does. Well, they'll know when Krypto arrives. And soon he approaches from Earth. He is greeted by a guard at the gate and is confused that anybody knows he was coming because this was an unscheduled visit. Top Dog opens the gift box and as predicted, it's a balloon mammoth. Ms. Is tasked with blowing the balloon up. [00:16:11] Speaker B: She's full of air. [00:16:12] Speaker A: Krypto, so confused because how did he know what it was? The large balloon, of course, forms a string of strong plastic cat balloons. Just the thing for dogs to play with when they're off duty. Everyone knows dogs love balloons. Especially when they pop in their face. [00:16:38] Speaker B: Dogs love balloons. [00:16:39] Speaker A: Dogs love loud noises and things that they could chew. [00:16:44] Speaker B: Especially things that they are chewing on. [00:16:46] Speaker A: That unpredictably pop in their face. Yes. Crypto is outraged. Why aren't you excited over the big surprise? Well, alright, because it wasn't a surprise. Grimpno Prophetic Pup predicting your gift in advance. [00:17:04] Speaker B: Aw, shucks. I just had my luck to have a crystal ball canine spoil my fun. [00:17:08] Speaker A: And now for prophecy number two. The veils of time are lifting. I see a spaceship visiting scientists from Ursa Major. [00:17:22] Speaker B: That's the. [00:17:22] Speaker A: The Big Bear. The Big Bear constellation landing on a nearby asteroid. But beware, they will shortly vanish in that crater. [00:17:32] Speaker B: Howling hounds. I'll go check and save them if it happens. [00:17:36] Speaker A: Of course, being from the constellation of Ursa Major. [00:17:39] Speaker B: They are bears. [00:17:40] Speaker A: They are bears. [00:17:41] Speaker B: They're people. Well, they're bears. [00:17:43] Speaker A: They're bears. Anthropomorphic bears dressed in spacesuits. Soon, at the asteroid, Krypto arrives. But Prophetic Pup goofed. These bears aren't in any trouble. They successfully landed. They are setting off an outer space signal ray to alert their fellows back home that their mission has been accomplished. But await. Holy boneyards. Their signal rays radiation changed the rock and turned it into an X ray crater. [00:18:17] Speaker B: Oh my gosh. Great grizzlies. The effect has made their bottle invisible. Except for their skeletons. [00:18:22] Speaker A: They did disappear after all. Prophetic Pup was right. [00:18:25] Speaker B: Wow. Just not disappear in the way that they thought they would. A different kind of way. Which is also defined as disappearing. [00:18:31] Speaker A: Isn't that always the way with predictions? It's never exactly what you think it's gonna be? All right. There's no denying that Prophetic Pup's second forecast came true. Also as well. And here's the third one. It concerns your master, Crypto Superboy. I see him flying through space into great danger. Danger? [00:18:54] Speaker B: Tell me more. [00:18:55] Speaker A: I can't. The mists of time closed in too soon. All I can predict is that a hound will lead Superboy into a deadly trap and a hound will rescue him. But this event will not occur for 24 hours. Then we'll wait. [00:19:18] Speaker B: We'll accept you only if your third prophecy comes true. Listen. The emergency alarm. [00:19:24] Speaker A: Listen. He's got 66% success rate. That's pretty good for predicting the future SPCA. Well, if it's good enough that you can just blow inflate your body and bob around the ceiling. [00:19:40] Speaker B: Patrol. [00:19:41] Speaker A: Scp. Pa. You got it. [00:19:44] Speaker B: Patrol. What's the A stand for? [00:19:46] Speaker A: Agents. Agents. If it's good enough to inflate your body and bounce around the ceiling with no control, then why can't Prophetic Pup get in with 66% success rate? They need some new leadership. [00:20:02] Speaker B: It's the giant head. It's a little off putting. It's the giant crane. [00:20:06] Speaker A: The giant head with tiny little ears poking out the side. [00:20:09] Speaker B: It's a little off putting. [00:20:12] Speaker A: Now, there are heavy static conditions in space, unfortunately preventing radio transmission. So Tail terrier. Well, they're responding to an emergency alarm. I forgot that part. The green canines of Tail Terrier's home planet are sending a semaphore. Sos. That's what the flags. Naval flags. They're at war with Black Cat World. The decoded message says invasion by giant fleas. Send help. [00:20:47] Speaker B: This is my second favorite thing using coding signals in this story. My first one is what will happen later on. [00:21:00] Speaker A: Soon. The SCPA is on the case. Krypto, of course, is worried now which hound is going to lead Superboy into danger and which hound will save him? Only time will tell. But for now, let's get to Tale Terrier's home world, where indeed giant fleas are leaping along through the town like an army. [00:21:26] Speaker B: Could you imagine giant fleas? No, that would be horrible. [00:21:29] Speaker A: Tiny went to bad enough the dog people are fleeing in terror. And who can blame them? What ordinary canine could face fleas as big as rabbits? Actually, I think our dogs would eat. If they were giant fleas, they would eat them. [00:21:42] Speaker B: Oh, I don't know. That would mean that the fleas would have giant mandibles. And you know, they're transparent. You can see the blood inside of them. [00:21:49] Speaker A: I did not know that. Yes. [00:21:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, they have very, very thin skin I use loosely, but you know, and so you can see the blood inside them. So it'd be gross. Like, one bite from a giant flea would probably make you one bite. One flea filling up on you admit when you'd lose, like, at least a pint of blood. [00:22:11] Speaker A: Okay, Horrible. I mean, it's gross. [00:22:15] Speaker B: It's gross. [00:22:16] Speaker A: I'm not disputing that. But you wouldn't die. [00:22:21] Speaker B: If a group of fleas attacked you. You would. [00:22:23] Speaker A: Okay, yes. [00:22:24] Speaker B: You'd be sucked completely dry and you'd be gray like one of those mummies in the movies. [00:22:31] Speaker A: Okay, yeah, well, I don't think we need to worry about that yet. But climate change is coming, folks. So the space agents pull out some laser rifles, try to zap these fleas to oblivion. Krypto's following the marching army of fleas backwards to see where they come from. [00:22:50] Speaker B: There's too damn many fleas. [00:22:51] Speaker A: And he traces the ponderous pests back to an amazing exhibit. A memorial park honoring SCPA dog heroes of the past. But how could living fleas come from lifeless stone statues? I'm sorry that we don't get names for all of these fallen heroes. The only one we get is Beam Beagle, whose searchlight eyes saved the Sea Dogs Navy from being wrecked in a storm. The statue itself has a beam coming out. Beam of light coming out from its eyes. That's a nice touch. Krypto discovers a living dog, one of these green dogs, chained to Beam Beagle's statue. But how could he have. And the fleas are hopping off. The giant fleas are hopping off this dog. This poor thing. Little does Krypto know that within the huge hollow head of the Beam Beagle statue lurks a gang of cunning cats. They are inside the statue. This beam of light is a growth beam. And each time the moving beam touches the dog who's chained to the base of the statue and is also flea ridden, the expando ray simply enlarges some of the insect eggs in the dog's fur until they hatch into giant fleas and leap off. [00:24:35] Speaker B: Oh, this is sad and sickening. [00:24:37] Speaker A: It's terrible. And why are they leaving this dog? The fleas could just stay there and have a feast. Well, one of them could. [00:24:44] Speaker B: A few of them, yeah. Would take that dog and it would just turn into a mummy skeleton. Just, like, shredded. It would just be like. Just like bones with the skin all sucked. [00:24:55] Speaker A: Now, this is a planet of intelligent dogs who wear clothes. How do we get to such a state where there's a dog with no clothes and is Flea ridden. [00:25:13] Speaker B: He's a homeless dog. [00:25:14] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. Or is it a Narnia situation where some animals are intelligent and can talk and other animals are not and you can eat them? [00:25:26] Speaker B: Is that true on Narnia? Yeah. [00:25:28] Speaker A: There's intelligent animals and not intelligent animals and you're allowed to eat the non intelligent animals. But if you eat an intelligent talking animal, that's Aslan's gonna come and get you, send you to hell. Because you know Aslan is secretly Jesus. Yeah, Yeah, I guess it's not so secret. All right. Krypto is unaware of the feline sabotage, but he has a plan. He's going to blow up. [00:25:58] Speaker B: From his survival kit. [00:26:00] Speaker A: In his cape's pouch, he's got a self inflating plastic bubble into which he places this poor homeless mongrel and shoots him into space. Shoots him into space. The Black Cat gang, however, has a weapon waiting in space that he prepared just for crypto. A missile headed straight for Crypto. Crypto pushes the dog in the bubble away to safety, out of blast range. The missile explodes and it forms a crystalline cage which has chunks of kryptonite embedded in it. And the whores. You know, kryptonite is the one substance deadly to crypto. The cats recapture the flea ridden mongrel and take it back to the green dog world. Meanwhile, Tusky Husky has used his giant tusk to dig a trench. A trench? [00:27:08] Speaker B: A huge trench. Now imagine that I've given you a pole. Uh huh. And imagine you're, it's early in the morning and the weather's fine. [00:27:18] Speaker A: Yep. [00:27:18] Speaker B: And you've got to dig a trench with a pole with a sharpened end. Okay. You've got to do it fast. [00:27:26] Speaker A: Yeah. How hot is it? [00:27:28] Speaker B: It's like 65 degrees. [00:27:32] Speaker A: Oh, easy. [00:27:32] Speaker B: I just dig a trench. An hour like this. This big for hordes of fleas? [00:27:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:38] Speaker B: Okay. [00:27:40] Speaker A: And I don't even have a superpower. I Tusky Husky probably took like 20 minutes. Also, here's the good news. He's a dog. He could use his paws to dig. [00:27:51] Speaker B: That's what I was thinking. Like, what's that? What's wrong with the legs? Called paw pooch. Couldn't he just do like grow a bunch of legs and use super speed? And. [00:28:01] Speaker A: And well now I don't think he has super speed. He just has a lot of paws. [00:28:05] Speaker B: Well, they're all wearing capes. [00:28:07] Speaker A: Well, that's their uniform. Like the French Legion. They wear capes, don't they, out in the desert? [00:28:16] Speaker B: I doubt they wear capes in the desert. [00:28:18] Speaker A: Well, you don't know. Have you ever been a French Legionnaire? No, never met one. [00:28:22] Speaker B: Have you? [00:28:23] Speaker A: I have not. But I've seen depictions of them in the comics. Notably the long running comic strip Croc. [00:28:30] Speaker B: And the French Legion of Croc. [00:28:32] Speaker A: Yeah, they have little cape like mini capes. Like a capelet. [00:28:36] Speaker B: All right, so here we are. We got the fleas coming into the pit, into the trench that's been dug by a single tusk. [00:28:44] Speaker A: Yes. [00:28:45] Speaker B: Highly improbable. Mammoth Miss is floating in a balloon, like a balloon. And she discovers what's going on. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Yes. She discovers the black cat craft over Dog Memorial Park. She discovers them sneaking inside the beam beagle statue. And shortly, the bean beagle statue is attacked by Bulldog. The black cat crew tries to escape. Or one of them does. [00:29:19] Speaker B: One of them does. [00:29:20] Speaker A: The black cat leader the other. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Huh. Tricky Tom is his name. [00:29:25] Speaker A: Tricky Tom. The other cats are abducted because Hot Dog gets in there and heats up and melts their expando beam. [00:29:38] Speaker B: Do you think, like when they're getting ready to arrest the cats, the cats, like scamp around and mark their territory all over the inside of the dog statue. All right, cats, come here. [00:29:48] Speaker A: Just a minute. Just a minute. Probably a lot of hissing, I can imagine. And fluffing of one's fur. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:58] Speaker A: So Tricky Tom is going back home with the news that their sabotage plot failed. Crypto's disappeared. They assume that he's gone back home to Earth. [00:30:08] Speaker B: Oh, poor Crypto. He's floating in space in that capsule in that. I don't know what it is. [00:30:14] Speaker A: That encased kryptonite. Kryptonite cage. Luckily, Superboy has come looking for him because he knew Crypto only planned to deliver a gift to the scpa, then come right back home. But he's been gone so long. And great comets. There he is in a kryptonite trap. [00:30:31] Speaker B: So he says he'll keep his distance and play space billiards with meteorites. So he takes one meteorite and hits another one, which hits another one, which. Then that meteorite crashes into the cage and bursts the bubble and Krypto is freed. [00:30:45] Speaker C: Yay. [00:30:46] Speaker A: However, the venture's not over. [00:30:48] Speaker B: No. [00:30:49] Speaker A: Because the rescue is observed by Tricky Tom, who's hiding behind an asteroid. [00:30:54] Speaker B: I always imagine that this ship that he flies doesn't make noise like it goes. [00:31:08] Speaker A: And if you thought the surprises had stopped. Listener, no. Are you ready for this? [00:31:14] Speaker B: This is crazy. [00:31:15] Speaker A: Tricky Tom receives a telepathic message. Tom, listen to our telepathic message. If you Want revenge against Krypto and his master. We are pet cats of Kryptonian criminals. [00:31:34] Speaker B: Therefore they're evil. [00:31:36] Speaker A: We were exiled with them in the Phantom Zone. [00:31:41] Speaker B: So not only do when criminals commit crimes, not only do they go to be are they sentenced to the Phantom Zone, but they're pets, too. [00:31:50] Speaker A: First of all, if a criminal has a pet, how evil could they really be? Second of all, I guess it's Jor El because he invented the Phantom Zone projector. [00:32:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:04] Speaker A: What law enforcement agency on Krypton is saying, all right, you're sentenced to life imprisonment in the Phantom Zone and your cat. Guards, bring in the cat, please. Just re home the cats. And why do all criminals only have pet cats? [00:32:24] Speaker B: Well, you don't know. I mean, don't they just float around in another dimension forever? There could be dogs there. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Well, in fairness, I don't think they were right. I don't think anyone was meant to be banished to the Phantom Zone forever. It's just that Krypton exploded. Oh, so they were trapped there. But this is, I believe, the first evidence that there were cats on Krypton. Of course. We knew there were dogs. Oh, I mean, someone will correct me if the cat, he's from Earth. Supergirl invented a form of Kryptonite that gives other beings superpowers. [00:33:06] Speaker B: Oh. [00:33:07] Speaker A: And it got the little piece of X Kryptonite that she created got trapped in a ball of yarn. And so Streaky would play with the ball of yarn and get superpowers. Temporarily, of course. So later, when Crypto is fully recovered, and they are. He and Superboy are headed back to Earth. They pass a strange chunk of rock with statues just floating in space. Just floating in space. [00:33:46] Speaker B: Then Superboy is thinking, like, he's not talking. He's just thinking about how he discovered this. [00:33:51] Speaker A: Yeah. And I don't know if this is an actual like this actually appeared in a previous story, or if this is just made up for this story again. Someone will let us know. So when Superboy first discovered they glowed menacingly, because, of course, they came from the planet Krypton. And anything that comes from Krypton that survives is converted into Kryptite, any inanimate matter. [00:34:19] Speaker B: Well, these things sure did manage to survive nicely. [00:34:23] Speaker A: Very well. He recalls Planet Explorer exploding. Superboy recalls from his childhood that those statues were in our family vault before Krypton exploded. They represent the most distinguished members of the L family. Val, El, Sorel, Tala L. I can't read the other ones. Hot2L gam L. Now Superboy dared not approach the statues because they were Kryptonite. But he built a giant spray gun and filled it with molten lead. [00:35:00] Speaker B: It's like one of those old timey insect sprayers. [00:35:02] Speaker A: Yes, insecticide sprayers gave them a good coating that will protect them from lethal rays. A nearby chest contains some symbolic objects which belonged in the hands of the statues that Superboy completed. The side quest of putting the correct object in the correct statue. They honor the achievements of his ancestors. One was a great seaman. That's Val El. The others were the inventor of Krypton's first telescope. That's Sol El, the author of the Kryptonian constitution. Tala El, the discovery of electricity, HA2L. And a famous architect, GML. My memory may not be serving me. I believe Val El, who's the first one, was Jor El's father or grandfather maybe. [00:36:03] Speaker B: Okay. [00:36:04] Speaker A: Anyway, I think there was a series of stories in DC Comics presents in the 80s in which it was revealed that one of Superboy's or Superman's ancestors, I believe is Val El had come to Earth like 100 years ago and somehow was in suspended animation or something. And he. I just remember it because there was a team up of Superman and Hawkgirl. And that was the first time Hawkgirl ever appeared without Hawkman dragging her down. It's a lovely story drawn by Jim Starling. Look it up. All right. His reminiscences end. But Superboy now notices a startling new mystery. His father is a sixth figure. Is a sixth figure. Suddenly, Jor El. It wasn't there before. It's Jor El holding one of his great inventions at the Phantom Zone Projector. Superboy and Krypto land to solve the riddle, unaware that they are being watched by Tricky Tom and the Phantom Zone Cat, otherwise known as the Fancy Cats. [00:37:11] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:37:12] Speaker A: They are Fanticats. That sounds like a new food. [00:37:17] Speaker B: Fancy cats indulge their every whim with fancy cats. [00:37:23] Speaker A: Now, Tricky Tom uses a thermal ray in his ship to melt the lead coating, revealing the Kryptonite. Why did they need a Jor El statue? I guess to get them close enough. [00:37:42] Speaker B: What's going on here? [00:37:45] Speaker A: Superboy and Krypto are overcome by the radiation poisoning of the kryptonite and collapse to the ground. The diabolical Tricky Tom then uses his ship to tow the dying heroes to Earth and deposit them on the outskirts of Smallville in a desolate spot. That's what I'm just about to ask. Tricky Tom says he's depositing them In a desolate spot outside Superboy's hometown. But wouldn't space be a desolate spot where they could avoid rest? [00:38:26] Speaker B: Could be more desolate than space. [00:38:28] Speaker A: I guess it's just so that people could find them dead and panic cause panic on the Earth or something. I don't know. At dawn, slow death approaches the two helpless victims. Luckily, Krypto has an idea. He's going to thump his tail in morse code to tell Superboy about Prophetic Pups prediction. [00:38:59] Speaker B: And this is a lot that he tells him with his tail. [00:39:02] Speaker A: It's letter by letter. [00:39:05] Speaker B: A prophetic dog at SCPA said a hound would put you in danger. That was me. But he added that a hound would save you. My telescopic vision shows the SCPA ship approaching Earth. One of those hounds will rescue us. [00:39:21] Speaker A: So indeed, the SCPA lands on Earth. Luckily, Crypto's X ray vision is still working. Or telescopic vision, rather, because he can see to the Smallville city limits. Prophetic Pup is sad because his SCPA membership application will be rejected. But he wants to tell Crypto that he's glad his third prediction turned out wrong. Yeah, but since we're here, let's tour Smallville, everybody. I'm sure they won't be alarmed by upright walking dogs in clothes. [00:39:58] Speaker B: Not at all. [00:39:58] Speaker A: With misshapen heads. Crypto can't hear them, but he assumes that tail terrier has told the gang to look for Crypto. But that's not it at all. No, he says he's telling them to take take a break. At ease, gentle dogs. They're going to split up and take in different sites and then report back and sniff each other to experience their adventures. Oh, there goes that giant plane. Listener. We have Air National Guard base near our home. And sometimes they fly a giant transport plane right over our house. It sounds like a space war. [00:40:48] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. And this, it's so big, it has like tanks and stuff. [00:40:52] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Exciting, exciting stuff around here in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia. [00:40:58] Speaker B: Or a town. It's as big as a town. It's huge. [00:41:00] Speaker A: So Crypto sees Hot Dog heading in the direction of Superboy. Crypto certain that Hot Dog is going to be one to save them. But no. Hot Dog has spotted the Weldon's hot dog blimp. Weldon's the greatest hot dog in the universe. The blimp is flying overhead and Hot Dog so excited that blimp has my name on it. I'm famous. We had a dog in the past and we lived Very near a sports arena where the Goodyear blimp would fly. [00:41:37] Speaker B: The Jacksonville Jaguar Stadium. We live right across the river from it. [00:41:40] Speaker A: And if that dog could have flown into the air to capture the blimp, she would have. [00:41:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:46] Speaker A: Just like Crypto. [00:41:47] Speaker B: She loved to run around the yard and bark at it. [00:41:50] Speaker A: Yes. [00:41:50] Speaker B: Yeah. And it was quite often. [00:41:53] Speaker A: Yes, sure. Every weekend during the season. During the season, of course. Yes. Poor hot dog. Stupid idiot doesn't realize it's just advertising a food product of earth. [00:42:08] Speaker B: The next tusky husky and Krypto can see with his vision. His distance vision. Right. [00:42:16] Speaker A: Yes. [00:42:16] Speaker B: The tusky is using his tusk to. [00:42:19] Speaker A: Drill into the ground at the city dump. He's got a pile of bones which. [00:42:25] Speaker B: He'S woven into a necklace. [00:42:27] Speaker A: A bone necklace to make good with. [00:42:31] Speaker B: Getting good with a girl husky. So he's basically going to. He's seducing her. [00:42:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:35] Speaker B: To make puppies, right? [00:42:37] Speaker A: Yes. [00:42:37] Speaker B: That's all dogs want to do. [00:42:40] Speaker A: I. [00:42:43] Speaker B: So I guess they didn't put that in the comic. What happens next? [00:42:46] Speaker A: No, they did not. But I go to the city dump, and it clearly says, no carcasses. So where do these bones come from at the city dump? [00:42:56] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:42:58] Speaker A: Have the rules changed? Maybe since the 19. This is super, boys. So it'll probably be the 1940s that we're talking about. Well, next, Paul Pooch is using his. [00:43:09] Speaker B: Multiple legs, but Crypto is dying while all these things are happening. [00:43:17] Speaker A: Paul Pooch is using his multiple legs to swim this way. The river is only a mile from here. He must be the hound predicted to save us. Wrong again. [00:43:28] Speaker B: But this crazy thing happens. [00:43:33] Speaker A: Pawpooch joins a crew team because he had been alerted to an emergency because the crew team passed out when some marsh gas suddenly bubbled up. And Paul Pooch is going to take over every oar and get the crew team back to safety. [00:43:55] Speaker B: So I just want to say I hadn't seen this before. Look at the upper part of that panel. There are crowds of people that could have easily just dove into the water and rescued them. [00:44:06] Speaker A: Well, now we don't know where they were. They might have been upriver, and who knows? Paul Pooch had to get him back. [00:44:11] Speaker B: I don't know how. Paw Paw. [00:44:14] Speaker A: Paw Pooch, is it called? [00:44:16] Speaker B: Displaced all those crew members to the front of the skiff. [00:44:20] Speaker A: I also don't know why the bosun wasn't affected by the marsh gas. [00:44:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Now I will say that it is possible to be. I've never heard about this happening in a Marsh. But you can be. Can be at a pond or you can be in a lake. And a large gas emission can happen, like if there's an earthquake or something like that. And it can be so massive that it does kill people, because it can displace all the oxygen in the environment. There can only be carbon in it, and you can die. [00:44:55] Speaker A: Right. [00:44:57] Speaker B: It's very rare. [00:44:59] Speaker A: It is very rare, but it does happen. Didn't it just happen recently? [00:45:04] Speaker B: Not. [00:45:05] Speaker A: Or maybe. I don't know. I read so many caveman things probably happened to cavemen, but I think that's. That's an evolutionary explanation for why our flatulence smells. Because it trains the nose to avoid smells like that. So. I'm serious. So that if gas is escaping from a pond, you get out of there. I swear I read that or saw it on Gillikin's island Hypothesis. [00:45:37] Speaker B: Because there's a reason why gas smells. [00:45:42] Speaker A: Oh, yes, Go ahead. [00:45:44] Speaker B: Well, it has very, very tiny microscopic solids of particles in it which are offensive to the nose. [00:45:52] Speaker A: Is that right? [00:45:53] Speaker B: Mm. [00:45:55] Speaker A: You're talking about human gas, not swamp gas. [00:45:57] Speaker B: Yeah, swamp gas is the same. It has organic material in it. [00:46:02] Speaker A: Okay. But that's why we avoid those smells for our own safety. [00:46:08] Speaker B: Okay. [00:46:10] Speaker A: I'm gonna find my source. [00:46:12] Speaker B: Oh, you please do. [00:46:13] Speaker A: I will. Now none of the dog pals have showed up. Crypto. We're dead. But look, I think I'm wrong about. [00:46:22] Speaker B: The microscopic organic particles being in the gas. [00:46:26] Speaker A: It's. [00:46:27] Speaker B: I think it's that bacteria produce a gas when it mixes with certain materials inside of our bodies, which creates. That's why gas can smell differently that we. And so I do know that. Like propane, right? [00:46:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:43] Speaker B: They actually add gas to that that is non flammable. But that makes the gas smell so that you can smell when it leaks, right? Yeah. [00:46:54] Speaker A: Are you leaking right now? Because I smell something. It's your upper lip, and it's coming from your window. Luckily, a movie company has arrived for location shots. [00:47:07] Speaker B: Outside of Smallville. [00:47:08] Speaker A: Outside Smallville, which apparently is in the middle of the desert. So somewhere. Yeah, because there's mesas. [00:47:14] Speaker B: And I thought Smallville was a. Was a midwestern town, like. Like Iowa or something. [00:47:20] Speaker A: Well, in this cornfields and stuff in this period, Smallville is not supposed to be all that far from Metropolis, which is on the east coast and famously. [00:47:31] Speaker B: Close to a desert. [00:47:33] Speaker A: Yes. I believe the deserts of some continuities place it in Kansas, West Virginia. [00:47:41] Speaker B: The deserts of Pennsylvania. Yes, the deserts of Virginia. [00:47:47] Speaker A: I was thinking more upstate New York, maybe. [00:47:49] Speaker B: Or we have no deserts in upstate New York. [00:47:51] Speaker A: You don't know? Have you been across the whole state? [00:47:55] Speaker B: The desert, I mean. The upstate New York was carved out by glaciers. It's a very fertile area. Yeah. [00:48:02] Speaker A: Even if this were in Kansas. Well, you wouldn't have mountains and mazes. No, I'd have brown grass. [00:48:10] Speaker B: But I don't know, maybe they set them. Maybe the Tom. What's his name? Tom. Tom. Terrible Tom. [00:48:16] Speaker A: Tricky Tom. [00:48:17] Speaker B: Tricky Tom and the fat cats. Set them down on a movie set. [00:48:22] Speaker A: Although we do know that Smallville has a volcano on the outskirts of town. Doesn't it? [00:48:27] Speaker B: It does. [00:48:28] Speaker A: I think I recall that, yes. [00:48:32] Speaker B: What an amazing world. Is this Earth One or two? [00:48:34] Speaker A: One, of course. [00:48:35] Speaker B: Okay. [00:48:36] Speaker A: Anyway, the movie company has arrived for location shot. Location shots. They can't see Superboy crypto. But maybe Superboy can call to them. [00:48:46] Speaker B: Help. Help. [00:48:48] Speaker A: Help. [00:48:49] Speaker B: Help. Help. [00:48:50] Speaker A: I can't. I'm too weak. Holy mackerel. [00:48:53] Speaker B: Superboy and Krypto trapped by kryptonite. [00:48:55] Speaker A: It's that young boy who got Krypto's autograph earlier. Yeah. Luckily he has a bicycle with a front basket. And it's a good thing he came to get autographs from the movie actors. I have the signatures of lots of famous people. Jack Dempsey, Charlie Chaplin, Babe Ruth. But not yours, Superboy, pal. [00:49:16] Speaker B: You'll get it now. [00:49:18] Speaker A: So that's what the prediction meant. [00:49:20] Speaker B: Later at the SCPA headquarters, Prophetic Pup. [00:49:24] Speaker A: Gets his official SCPA collar. Because all three of your predictions came true. Yes, A hound did save Superboy. An autograph hound. You see? [00:49:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:41] Speaker A: Predictions never turn out the way you think. No, but they do turn out. This is the best story that was published in the entire 1960s. I'm ready to proclaim it. Space Canine Patrol agents. This is their final appearance in comics. They will never appear again. That's actually not entirely true. Are you serious? They do appear in the background of Animal man number 25. [00:50:10] Speaker B: Okay. [00:50:12] Speaker A: And in Sandman Overture number three. But as a fighting force. Yeah. This is their. Fine. [00:50:23] Speaker B: They don't get their own issue. [00:50:25] Speaker A: No. [00:50:25] Speaker B: Or their own story. [00:50:26] Speaker A: Well, not imprinted comics. Now, there's a crypto cartoon a few years ago that did make good use of the Space King On Patrol Agents. [00:50:36] Speaker B: Wow. [00:50:37] Speaker A: I think they were called something different. But they were there. Same figure, same general membership. [00:50:43] Speaker B: Wow. [00:50:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:50:45] Speaker B: Who would have known? [00:50:47] Speaker A: I. I knew. Well, just listen. [00:50:49] Speaker B: This is the last time we'll read a story about them. [00:50:51] Speaker A: It is the last time we will read a story about them in our Go Go Check era. [00:50:55] Speaker B: I'LL miss that. [00:50:56] Speaker A: I will, too. We'll still have the Legion of Super Pets, of course. Which is almost the same, except it's more than just dogs. [00:51:07] Speaker B: I don't remember the Legion of Super Pets. I can't. I'm embarrassed to tell you. [00:51:10] Speaker A: That's the Super Pets. Crypto, Streaky, the Super Cat, Comet, Super Horse, Beppo, the Super Monkey, and Proty, Too, who helped the Legion of superheroes in the 30th century. Okay, I think we'll see them again. [00:51:27] Speaker B: Wow. [00:51:28] Speaker A: It's always an adventure, isn't it? [00:51:30] Speaker B: Well, I'm very much looking forward to Krypto's movie this weekend. [00:51:33] Speaker A: Me, too. [00:51:34] Speaker B: And I won't hear a word against it. [00:51:36] Speaker A: I won't either. [00:51:37] Speaker B: We're going to the Alamo, aren't we? [00:51:39] Speaker A: We are. You know, you can eat and drink there. It's the best. You can find us on social media at GoGoCheckPod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your free downloaded podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. You can find us right back here. Did I miss anything? [00:52:05] Speaker B: I don't think so. [00:52:07] Speaker A: You find us right back here next week. I was trying to pull up my spreadsheet and see what's coming up, but okay. We are fast approaching listener. Our 100th, not 300th episode. [00:52:18] Speaker B: I was gonna say not 100th. Yeah. Wow. [00:52:22] Speaker A: But we'll be back next week with House Mystery. Awesome. That's Dial Age for Hero and Martian Manhunter. [00:52:30] Speaker B: Oh, cool. [00:52:31] Speaker A: Cool. You like Dial Age for Hero? I wrote a theme song. [00:52:34] Speaker B: Yeah? [00:52:35] Speaker A: Anything to add? [00:52:36] Speaker B: No, I just, you know, I'm looking forward to this. This weekend and, you know, get some exercise. [00:52:43] Speaker A: Enjoy the summer, folks. [00:52:45] Speaker B: I know some of you are traveling and sending us pictures. [00:52:48] Speaker A: Yes. [00:52:48] Speaker B: Or text. Thank you. [00:52:50] Speaker A: Yes. [00:52:50] Speaker B: Living vicariously through you. [00:52:52] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:52:53] Speaker B: Yes. [00:52:54] Speaker C: Bye, Mr. Wind Just keep on sailing Keep us sailing alone? High in the sky there's no curtain Guess we'll So everyone, come on? Hey you on the ground Take a look up and see what we found Nothing can tie us Blue birds come up to guide us when you're beside me we can fly? Oh, we can fly? We can fly? Hey everyone on the ground let's fly.