Red Rhymes with DEAD (Challengers of the Unknown 55)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Challengers of the Unknown 55. Cover Date April 1967 Cover Price $0.12. Cover Artist Bob Brown Edited by Murray Boltinoff Featuring Taps for Red Written by Arnold Drake Art by Bob Brown. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:00] Speaker B: If you're walking in the shadows then it's time that you get wise. I just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes. When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You're gonna push the blues away. [00:01:27] Speaker A: After rejecting Villo as a member, the League of Challenger Haters begins a plot to destroy the world with the help of Volcano Man. Multi man targets specific locations on the earth that will cause all the volcanoes on the planet to erupt at once. The Challengers deduce Multi Man's plan and split up to stop the eruptions. The first stages are successfully stopped, but Red is forced to hand detonate his device, leaving himself in the wake of destruction. The world is saved, but Red is dead concerned. Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything. Already I'm calling you worry I'm calling you. I'm getting sick and tired tired of calling you already what you gonna do? What you gonna do? I'm getting sick and tired Tired of calling you. Well, goodbye F. Fun. Yeah. [00:02:51] Speaker C: Yeah, right. [00:02:53] Speaker A: School starts tomorrow, everyone. Yeah, sorry about that, students and teachers. [00:03:02] Speaker C: I'm going to have a very busy schedule for the next six weeks. [00:03:05] Speaker A: Same. [00:03:06] Speaker C: Yeah, you are too. Yeah. [00:03:07] Speaker A: I have two jobs for the next 13 weeks. [00:03:10] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:03:12] Speaker A: So suck it up, buttercup. [00:03:14] Speaker C: Exactly. Yeah. [00:03:16] Speaker A: Still we love the student. [00:03:19] Speaker C: Well, we do. [00:03:20] Speaker A: Some. Some of the students mostly. Most of the students. Oh. What's new? [00:03:31] Speaker C: I think I'm almost fully recovered from my illness. Okay. I'm feeling much better. Cool. [00:03:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:36] Speaker C: Yeah. Although I did. I did need a nap today. [00:03:41] Speaker A: Sure. [00:03:42] Speaker C: Which ended up taking most of my afternoon. [00:03:46] Speaker A: Okay. There's nothing wrong with that. [00:03:48] Speaker C: No, I guess not. It's just I have a little more work to do. [00:03:51] Speaker A: Smoke em if you got em. [00:03:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:03:53] Speaker A: For this week, so I did not take a nap, but I did sit on the couch and play video games all day. [00:04:00] Speaker C: Good for you. I went to church this morning and then grocery store and then came home and napped and read the comic book. And I've also been doing some prep for a new class that I'm teaching. I'm teaching a totally new class this year and just, you know, getting. Getting all prepped for it. [00:04:17] Speaker A: Oh, I did do my syllabi. So I'm not completely useless. [00:04:21] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I had some. Like, really. Oh, you know what? I did. I did. You'll notice that the garage looks much, much better. [00:04:28] Speaker A: I did notice that. I did take care of that yesterday. [00:04:31] Speaker C: You're welcome. You're welcome. I finally got rid of that exercise bicycle. I thought I'd sell it, you know, because it was an perfect shape. [00:04:38] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:38] Speaker C: But I. I did not feel like dealing with Facebook Marketplace, so. And I had taken it to a place already to see if they would buy it and they didn't. So I just ended up donating it to Goodwill and I was glad to get it out of the garage. [00:04:49] Speaker A: You know what? When you make room in your life, something new comes. [00:04:54] Speaker C: Right. Right. And now I just have to think about, like, you know, the next six weeks I will be. I mean, I'll be at school till 8 o'. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Clock. Yeah. [00:05:02] Speaker C: Five days a week. [00:05:03] Speaker A: Sure. [00:05:04] Speaker C: Uh, and then for tech week, much later. [00:05:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:07] Speaker C: I got to figure out my schedule. How do I do the things that I like to do personally that aren't work related. Sure. In that I normally do in the evenings. [00:05:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:17] Speaker C: Right. Because like I. So I have to like, work out my mornings differently. So. And I'm glad, to be honest with you, it's a luxury that I don't have kids. [00:05:30] Speaker A: Yes. [00:05:30] Speaker C: And I can, like, I don't really have to be at work until, you know, 10. [00:05:36] Speaker A: I was gonna say, you're a college professor. You've got plenty of free time during the day. [00:05:42] Speaker C: Have you seen my schedule? [00:05:44] Speaker A: No, but I have been a college professor, so it's. [00:05:49] Speaker C: I mean, for the next six weeks. It's not like that, but I appreciate. [00:05:52] Speaker A: I know. [00:05:53] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, it's pretty tightly packed. [00:05:57] Speaker A: Okay. That's what she said. So. [00:05:59] Speaker C: But I'll be at school from basically 10 to 8. [00:06:01] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:02] Speaker C: Every day for the next six. Six weeks. But I've opened up the weekends too, so. [00:06:06] Speaker A: Sure. [00:06:06] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. All right. So anyway, I'm not complaining. It's silly. I'm. I'm literally not complaining. I'm just like, it's the night before school starts. I'm thinking, okay, like, if. If I want to play guitar tomorrow and I have to do it in the morning, which is not what I normally do. [00:06:22] Speaker A: So, yeah, it's fine. Life's full of little challenges. [00:06:27] Speaker C: Yes, exactly. [00:06:28] Speaker A: I have to own up to a couple of boners. [00:06:32] Speaker C: Okay, go ahead. [00:06:33] Speaker A: Number one. Two weeks ago, when we had the detective comics story with the villain Ival Ekdal, I said I'd never heard of him. He appeared on the Batman television show, and I'm ashamed that I didn't know or remember that because I've seen every episode more than once. [00:06:52] Speaker C: Okay. [00:06:54] Speaker A: Just never occurred to me to even investigate that. [00:06:58] Speaker C: Okay. [00:06:58] Speaker A: My usual sources didn't flag that online for me. [00:07:02] Speaker C: Is that a shame inducing confession? Like, is that. [00:07:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:06] Speaker C: Okay. All right. [00:07:06] Speaker A: For sure. [00:07:07] Speaker C: Okay. [00:07:08] Speaker A: The second one's not shame inducing, but I did tell a lie last week. Oh, what? [00:07:13] Speaker C: And it was that we were going to have to read Bob Hope. [00:07:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:16] Speaker C: I knew that right away. When you sent me the text that said, this is what we're reading. I was like, I am. You know what? You had said Bob Hope, and I didn't. You know how this. Folks, listeners, this is what we do. He sends me a text a few days before we. [00:07:29] Speaker A: To be specific. I send him a text from downstairs to where he's sitting upstairs. [00:07:34] Speaker C: Yes. To say, just so that I have it on a text, like. And it's always, like, when you get a chance, read this issue. Right. And so I get it. A few days before we do the podcast, I saw that it was Challengers of the Unknown, and I said, oh, he must have made a mistake. It's supposed to be Bob Hope. And then I said to myself, but you're not gonna say anything about it. Cause I don't want to read Bob Hope. Was that an oversight on your part. [00:07:59] Speaker A: Or was it a mistake to send. [00:08:01] Speaker C: Me Challenge was the Unknown. [00:08:02] Speaker A: No, I just read my spreadsheet wrong and I thought Bob Hope was coming up next, but it's in fact was Challenges of the Unknown, which means Bob Hope is next week. [00:08:10] Speaker C: So. [00:08:10] Speaker A: Okay, you have that to look forward to in your morning, new morning routine. You can read a little bit of Bob Hope every morning on the toilet or whatever. Yes. Challengers of the unknown. Number 55. And just wait till you see what happens. You'll read it now and you'll remember it forever. [00:08:33] Speaker C: I just want to say, without giving Anything away. This issue is a fever dream. [00:08:40] Speaker A: It is. There's a lot going on. [00:08:43] Speaker C: There is a lot going on. [00:08:46] Speaker A: Also. I don't think you can spoil anything when the COVID has Red Ryan's tombstone on it with all the other challengers sobbing. Except Rocky. Looks like he's taking a dump. [00:08:58] Speaker C: He was the best that ever was. [00:09:01] Speaker A: Gone but not forgotten. Read it now. Remember it forever. I read it this morning. I barely remember what happens. [00:09:09] Speaker C: Excuse me. True. [00:09:11] Speaker A: It's the story they said they'd never dare to print. And yet here we are. The story that they thought comics could never handle. They said the kids aren't ready for raw meat like that. They said no comic mag can survive that kind of yarn. Well, they underestimated you, our readers, and the survival factor of the challengers of the unknown. Read it now. Remember it forever. Taps for red. I do appreciate that they have musical notation for taps and appears to be correct. [00:09:49] Speaker C: No, it isn't. [00:09:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:59] Speaker C: Okay, but what about. What's the music underneath? The man playing the trumpet. That's. The notes. Don't look at the bar lines. The meter's not right. [00:10:16] Speaker A: I know, but I'm trying to give them credit for partially correct notation. [00:10:22] Speaker C: It's also supposed to be in four. It's in some sort of crazy. Yeah, all right. [00:10:29] Speaker A: It's in. Yeah. All right. Never mind. Forget I said anything. [00:10:35] Speaker C: It's like. Okay, so remember Richard, his mother made him that beautiful, beautiful, beautiful quilt, Right? [00:10:42] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:43] Speaker C: And so, friends, we have these dear friends that live outside of Annapolis, Maryland. And the mother of one of the gay couple was incredibly artistic in her quilt making. I mean, the finest quilts you ever saw. Really? Yes. And she made a quilt for her son and his partner. And it was beautiful. And it was all like cream colored. [00:11:12] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:13] Speaker C: And all embroidered. Hand hand embroidered with all sorts of things that speak to the things that they like. [00:11:21] Speaker A: Right. [00:11:22] Speaker C: So thoughtful, so absolutely beautiful. One panel was a musical staff. [00:11:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:27] Speaker C: With three musical notes on it. Now, the mother did not actually read music that I know, that I'm aware of. [00:11:36] Speaker A: Right. [00:11:37] Speaker C: But what three notes did she place in order on the staff for her gay son and his partner? [00:11:45] Speaker A: Those notes spelled F, F, A G. [00:11:48] Speaker C: A G, not I'm. And it was completely unintentional. She didn't know. No, no, she didn't know. Yeah, just, you know, first. First. First space. Second space down the line. Yep. Fag God lover. Yeah. [00:12:09] Speaker A: The challengers are out challenging some unknown things. There's an unidentified flying object which they are chasing in their galloping gizmo. Which I also had forgotten can split into four separate vehicles. [00:12:26] Speaker C: I did not forget. [00:12:27] Speaker A: Like the fantastic car. They split up. We're starting right in the middle of. [00:12:35] Speaker C: The action, folks, in Media Race, as we say. [00:12:37] Speaker A: Yes. Galapagizmo splits up. They're chasing down this ufo. They get it to the ground, it opens like a. It opens like a clamshell. And what comes out but a squat little robot like R2D2. [00:12:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:54] Speaker A: And they're laughing their heads off, pointing. [00:12:56] Speaker C: At it, laughing at it. [00:12:57] Speaker A: Cause what is this robot gonna do against them? [00:12:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:59] Speaker A: But suddenly, with a thunderous rush of pneumatic power, it expands like a. Did you ever have one of those cups? Travel cups? Yeah. Yeah. [00:13:16] Speaker C: And then you play with it so often that you break it. [00:13:20] Speaker A: Oh, I wasn't allowed to play with it because it was in Mrs. White's doomy drawer. [00:13:25] Speaker C: Oh. Oh. I had one from, like, I don't know, Circus World or something like that. Some one of those little. It was like a souvenir place. [00:13:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:31] Speaker C: And it was like. So it was a disc with a lid on it. Take the lid off and you pull it up and it expands into a cup. [00:13:37] Speaker A: Yeah, right. [00:13:38] Speaker C: And I would just like sit there and go. And I would open it and close it and open it and close it. And eventually I had to broke it. [00:13:43] Speaker A: You'll be sorry when you get thirsty. [00:13:46] Speaker C: Well, I lived beyond that. I'm no longer a child, so I'm not sorry. [00:13:50] Speaker A: But, Mrs. White, my grandmother. [00:13:53] Speaker C: I'll have a drink of water right now with my perfectly good working hand and my perfectly good glass. Look at this. Sorry. [00:14:00] Speaker A: Not sorry, Mrs. White. My grandmother had a drawer. She called it a doomy drawer. And she always had little things, little trink, like those cups or little rain hats. You know, when women used to wear the rain hat over their permanents. Just little doohickeys she kept in this drawer in case company come. And she wanted to give them a trinket to remember her by. She'd go to her doomy drawer, get a little thing out and give it to her. [00:14:30] Speaker C: I love that. [00:14:31] Speaker A: Yeah. But, you know, children were not allowed to write. [00:14:36] Speaker C: I wish I had known your grandmother, Mrs. White, before she lost her mind. [00:14:40] Speaker A: Well, that might have happened before. You were beautiful. So she was always a little iffy. [00:14:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:50] Speaker A: But kept driving on the freeway 25 miles an hour. [00:14:55] Speaker C: Let him honk. [00:14:56] Speaker A: Let them honk. I'm not gonna go faster than 25. So this robot. [00:15:04] Speaker C: I did know your grandmother, Mrs. White. [00:15:06] Speaker A: You did meet her once. [00:15:07] Speaker C: Well, quite advanced in her senility. [00:15:10] Speaker A: She thought you were me. [00:15:11] Speaker C: Yep. [00:15:13] Speaker A: The robot expands, which does frighten the challengers a little bit. But they're not frightened enough to not fight back. Here goes Rocky throwing a P, which is all he knows how to do. Red Ryan, he's an acrobat, you know. He pole vaults up towards the robot's. [00:15:33] Speaker C: Head, but the robot snaps his pole vault in half. [00:15:36] Speaker A: And Ace and Prof. Pick up a giant log and are going to use it as a battering ram into the robot's body. But of course, the robot just picks up the log and shakes them off like ants. Mm. Rocky has named the rabbit collapso because it can collapse. Yeah. Did I say rabbit? I meant robot. Which gives Ace a great idea. [00:16:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:05] Speaker A: Ace seems to be the brains of the operation. [00:16:07] Speaker C: Yeah. Which is a change. [00:16:09] Speaker A: Where's Prof. Prof's right there. Profs got the brown hair. Okay, so Ace sends Red off because he's the fastest sprinter to lead the robot towards a high bluff where the other challengers are waiting. And once Red shimmies up to the top, they all four of them jump down on top of this robot, figuring that their combined weight of 700. [00:16:40] Speaker C: 700 pounds will make it square, squish down, collapse down. [00:16:47] Speaker A: And it works. [00:16:48] Speaker C: And it works. [00:16:49] Speaker A: That means that the average weight of a challenger of the unknown is £175. [00:16:56] Speaker C: They must be very thin because they're very muscular. [00:16:58] Speaker A: I'm gonna have to say Rocky. I said average. Rocky's probably about 2,215. Ace is a string bean. And Professor Haley, of course, he's a professor, so he's weak and slim. But that's a nice fact. If certain listener is listening, he can add that to his comics. Spreadsheet. 175lbs. Average weight of a challenger. All right, the robot is defeated and Butt suddenly starts making a ticking sound like it's a bomb. [00:17:38] Speaker C: Right. [00:17:39] Speaker A: Suddenly, a comical joke flag pops out of the top that says bang. Someone went to a lot of trouble to play a joke on the challengers. [00:17:49] Speaker C: Awful lot of trouble. [00:17:50] Speaker A: Who could it be? [00:17:52] Speaker C: Well, Velo, the king of the kooky kooks. [00:17:56] Speaker A: Kooky crooks. [00:17:58] Speaker C: Kooky crooks. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Kooky crooks. Yeah. He's the weirdest and wackiest creep in the world. A Villo. And I guess it's become obvious to me that Villo and Brain X, his partner in crime, are lovers. The way they're talking to each other. [00:18:15] Speaker C: They have to be lovers. Like they argue like an old married couple. [00:18:19] Speaker A: Uh huh. Yeah. Also, Brain X is British all of a sudden. I didn't remember that from last issue, did you? [00:18:28] Speaker C: No. I do know that Villo was an idiot. [00:18:32] Speaker A: Villo is not. And smart. [00:18:35] Speaker C: No. And his outfit is terrible. Ridiculous. [00:18:41] Speaker A: Villos got a red, orange and olive green outfit on. With a helmet. [00:18:48] Speaker C: Like Attila the Hun. Kind of. [00:18:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:52] Speaker C: With a horn on it. [00:18:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:18:56] Speaker A: And Brain X is a giant computer the size of a office building floor. [00:19:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:04] Speaker A: Like the old days. [00:19:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:07] Speaker A: Villo is delighted. Villo is the one that sent the robot, by the way. [00:19:13] Speaker C: A lot of resources went into that joke. Yeah, like a lot. [00:19:17] Speaker A: You have to design a robot. [00:19:18] Speaker C: Design a robot. Design a ufo. [00:19:21] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:22] Speaker C: To fly the robot in. Then be willing to. That the robot was a one trick pony, like. [00:19:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:30] Speaker C: It will fight the challenges of the unknown. And just in case it doesn't win. It will not. It will self destruct. Kind of. [00:19:37] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You gotta go to Mrs. White's doomy drawer and get a little joke flag that says bang on it. [00:19:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:45] Speaker A: All right. Nonetheless, Villo's delighted with this trick. It cost me a bundle, but it was the best gag I ever pulled. Hyar, hyar, hyar. Brain Ax. [00:19:56] Speaker C: Watch your hands. Old chapter. Please don't bend the transistors. Cause it looks like Villo is holding on to Brainiac. [00:20:05] Speaker A: Brainak. Is that the name of the Brain X? [00:20:07] Speaker C: Brain X. Thrusting his hips forward into it and holding on like in some sort of ceremonial mating ritual. It would be the same thing as if you were to grab an upright piano and sort of thrust your midst. [00:20:27] Speaker A: Hump it. You can't say the word. [00:20:29] Speaker C: Yeah. Hump a piano. Like I'm saying it that way just to depict how absolutely stupid it looks. [00:20:35] Speaker A: It doesn't help that the written out sound effect is thwack. Thwack. [00:20:41] Speaker C: Yeah. He's clearly trying to have relations with Brain X. With the computer. [00:20:48] Speaker A: Yeah. We learned that this whole idea was actually Brain X's and in fact, I have to do all your thinking, Willow. [00:20:59] Speaker C: Villo threatens to throw a bottle at his lover, the computer. Let's just say what it is at his lover, the computer, and finish him all off. Like apparently the contents of the bottle will. [00:21:10] Speaker A: Right. What's in it? Nitroglycerin. [00:21:14] Speaker C: Well, there is a little glass there. So it must be something consumable like champagne. [00:21:19] Speaker A: That's not going to destroy a giant. [00:21:21] Speaker C: Maybe. Maybe where he throws it is very important. [00:21:23] Speaker A: No, it's not. I mean, unless you get it like spill it on the keyboard or something. Sure, that might. And then of Course. [00:21:29] Speaker C: Computer. Brain X. [00:21:30] Speaker A: Brain X, Brain X, Brain X. [00:21:31] Speaker C: Brain X says go ahead, old hothead. But then how would you. Who would. How. How would you figure out how to boil a three minute egg? So apparently the robot does the cooking in the relationship. [00:21:45] Speaker A: Yeah. What was that show? That was not very good, was it? Ian McKellen and some other British actor, they played bitchy old queens. [00:21:55] Speaker C: Oh, I think it was very popular in Great Britain. [00:21:58] Speaker A: Was it? [00:21:59] Speaker C: I think so. [00:22:00] Speaker A: We watched an episode. It wasn't that good. [00:22:01] Speaker C: We didn't like it at all. [00:22:02] Speaker A: No. Maybe it hit too close to home. All right. Brain X has decided in order to finish off the Challengers for good, Villo should join the Challenger Haters. [00:22:19] Speaker C: Is that like a fan club for people that hate Challengers? [00:22:23] Speaker A: It's. What's the opposite of fan club? It's a hatred club. But they hate the challengers. [00:22:31] Speaker C: Why would you call yourselves the Challenger Haters? [00:22:33] Speaker A: Because they. Why not just perfectly describe your group's statement? [00:22:38] Speaker C: That's the mission statement, right? [00:22:39] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, why not? Now, that's not a bad idea. Villo says, in fact, I'm not going to join them. I'm going to take over the whole organization. [00:22:52] Speaker C: Well, he's a megalomaniac, like Trump. [00:22:54] Speaker A: Brain X finds them with his locator circuit. They are headquartered in an igloo at the Arctic Circle, which, I hasten to remind everyone, has no land. It's all just floating ice. If they're literally in the Arctic Circle, you're looking at me like I'm insane. [00:23:18] Speaker C: No, I'm just stating the obvious. [00:23:20] Speaker A: Okay, all right. [00:23:24] Speaker C: Now, I mean, there is land up there, but it doesn't. Not at the North Pole, right? [00:23:29] Speaker A: Right. Now, Rainex advises Villo to take a few tricks up his sleeve in case they don't cotton to the idea of him taking over. Meanwhile, at the Arctic Circle igloo headquarters of the Challenger Haters, here they are, Multi Man. [00:23:53] Speaker C: Now remind me who these. Like, what? Multi Man's in charge. [00:23:57] Speaker A: Multi Man's in charge? [00:23:58] Speaker C: Is he an alien? Miss, miss, please, Miss, please. Is he an alien? Miss? [00:24:02] Speaker A: I believe he's just a guy that has different kind of things. [00:24:09] Speaker C: Cause why does he say, like, why do they keep on saying, if he dies, we all die? Well, the woman's a robot, the robot's a robot, the Volcano Man's a Volcano Man. Yeah, well, I guess he's a sort of. [00:24:23] Speaker A: So we have Multi Man, Multi Woman, who. Multi man created. Kra, who is a robot, and Volcano Man. [00:24:40] Speaker C: Volcano Man. Volcano. [00:24:43] Speaker A: Volcano Man. [00:24:45] Speaker C: Vulcan. Sorry, Volcano Man. Let's just call it what it is. Volkanumen. [00:24:52] Speaker A: So multi man has some kind of potion called liquid light. [00:24:55] Speaker C: Multiman. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Multiman. And he uses it to gain superpowers. And when he dies, he's reincarnated with a new power like. [00:25:04] Speaker C: Oh, like Robbie Reed. Oh, hey, Willoughby. [00:25:09] Speaker A: Not Robbie Reed. No, Immortal man. [00:25:11] Speaker C: Dial H for heroes. [00:25:13] Speaker A: Well, he doesn't die. [00:25:14] Speaker C: Not yet. [00:25:15] Speaker A: He just. [00:25:15] Speaker C: I wish he would, but. [00:25:18] Speaker A: What? [00:25:19] Speaker C: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. So don't be so dark, Rob. [00:25:21] Speaker A: Immortal man literally does die. [00:25:23] Speaker C: Yes, he does. So we have multiman, Multi woman, Kra and Vulcanumen. Vulcanumen? Volcanomen. [00:25:31] Speaker A: Just say Volcano Man. [00:25:33] Speaker C: I don't want to. [00:25:34] Speaker A: All right, Multi man they're talking about. They have a perfect scheme to destroy the challengers. And why don't we use it? [00:25:44] Speaker C: Because it would kill us too. [00:25:48] Speaker A: And Kra says, huh, that's some scheme. Ha ha ha ha. And multi woman has the audacity to join in with the laughter, causing Multiman to rip open her breast. [00:26:03] Speaker C: She's a robot. [00:26:05] Speaker A: She's a robot. Luckily, or she'd be losing a lung right about now. [00:26:12] Speaker C: Suddenly, what's he gonna do? Destroy her? [00:26:13] Speaker A: I guess he's gonna rip out circuits or something, I don't know. Suddenly an alarm goes off. It's a delta rocket approaching. They launch several weapons in an attempt to stop the rocket, and each one is repulsed. It's Villo and Brain X. While Brain X is on the Lexaphone inside the cockpit. But Villo manages to deflect all of the weapons. And so he does land, enters the hideaway and says, challenger haters, this is the luckiest day of your lives. I, Villo, the craftiest, cleverest, most evil villain on Earth, have agreed to become your leader. What do you say? [00:27:08] Speaker C: I have to say, I don't think he talks like that. [00:27:11] Speaker A: What do you think he talks like? [00:27:12] Speaker C: Well, because he's in love with a robot. Yeah, I'd probably be like, challenger haters, this is the luckiest day of your lives. I, Villa, the craftiest, cleverest, most evil villain on the Earth, have agreed to become your leader. What do you say? [00:27:29] Speaker A: Well, CRA says ho ho. Multi man says haw haw. Multi woman says, he. [00:27:35] Speaker C: He Volkenhomen says his. [00:27:41] Speaker A: I'm gonna pause here for one minute for the letter column. Dear editor, how do you do it? I thought nobody could be more fascinatingly evil than the vile villain Villo, but I certainly was mistaken. Dreadful Dimension man and his batty cohort, the incredible Iron Dictator, have set new records of formidably fiendish and incidentally, illegal behavior. But the villains and story were not the most impressive features of issue 53. Nothing could overshadow the glory of that magnificent cover. I have never ever seen a more dramatic, sensationally colored cover. There wasn't a single error in placement or style. By the way, I'm glad to see that the new look of the challengers is really new. New costumes haven't been the only real changes for which all Chowz's fans must be indeed thankful. Please keep giving us more of these wonderfully imaginative stories. And those kooky bad guys. By the way, what color is D man's hair? Irene Vartanoff. Lake Forest College, Lake Forest, Illinois. [00:28:52] Speaker C: She's gone to college. [00:28:54] Speaker A: That's a long way go for college. [00:28:55] Speaker C: I know. [00:28:56] Speaker A: From Bethesda, Maryland to Lake Forest, Illinois, right? That's like a 12 hour drive. [00:29:03] Speaker C: Not only have we been able to follow her over the years that we've been reading. [00:29:08] Speaker A: Yes. [00:29:10] Speaker C: Actually, she's been writing these letters for a year. We've been reading them over the years. Yes, yes, yes. She's been writing them over the course of a year. She's now gone to college. [00:29:18] Speaker A: She has gone to college. [00:29:20] Speaker C: Lake Forest. [00:29:21] Speaker A: Lake Forest, Illinois. God love her. All right. The challenger haters are having none of Villo. He has nothing to offer them. However, we might make use of your lover. Brain X. Is not in your life. He goes where I go. [00:29:48] Speaker C: And as for you not needing me, well, see bout that. You're just a sad collection of second rate crooks. So long, losers. [00:29:55] Speaker A: Second rate losers. We'll see about that. I think Multi man Sounds like Mr. Mooney. Oh, don't you? [00:30:04] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Whose voice I can't do. So I'm just gonna. [00:30:07] Speaker C: Later, after Villo returns. He lies to his lover. Yeah, he lies to him. [00:30:13] Speaker A: I hate to tell you this, but I said I could be their leader if I d. That craw creep. He's probably jealous of you. [00:30:25] Speaker C: Why that nasty little alien abomination. Automation. [00:30:29] Speaker A: I'm so sorry, Automaton. [00:30:31] Speaker C: Oh my God. I am. [00:30:33] Speaker A: You had a nap? [00:30:35] Speaker C: I am not kidding you. I am sleepy. I don't get it. I don't understand it. [00:30:42] Speaker A: But Brain Axe. I told them where to get off. I said I'm loyal. I go where Brainax goes. [00:30:50] Speaker C: Touching old Shu. I thought. I never thought you much had that. Good God. Okay. I never thought you had that much comrade comradeship in you. Truly. [00:30:59] Speaker A: Touch? [00:30:59] Speaker C: Am I okay? [00:31:00] Speaker A: No. [00:31:01] Speaker C: Okay, let me start it again. [00:31:02] Speaker A: Okay. [00:31:03] Speaker C: Touching old shoe. I Never thought you had that much comradeship in you. Truly touching. How's that? [00:31:09] Speaker A: That's good. Thank you. At that same moment, somewhere in the Pacific, the Challengers are returning to the their undersea base which they acquired in issue 53 from Demolition man and the Iron Dictator. [00:31:22] Speaker C: I don't remember this. [00:31:23] Speaker A: I barely remember it, but I know that it happened. [00:31:26] Speaker C: Okay. [00:31:27] Speaker A: Cause I think didn't Challenger's island get blown up or something. Something happened. Anyway, they have this undersea base which they've only just now started to investigate. It apparently goes very far down into the earth. Level one? [00:31:41] Speaker C: Yeah. Level one is 1200ft below the ocean floor. And that's just the beginning. [00:31:45] Speaker A: That's just the beginning. Yeah. Prof. Has figured out some of the other equipment here. There's a tube, a giant tube, a man sized tube. And Prof. Jumps off a high balcony, lands safely on the ground because there's some kind of gravity beam which this is where. [00:32:09] Speaker C: I started to fall asleep during my nap that I took. So I had to go back and reread this because I was just like zoning out Prof. Then. So yes he has. I don't know how Prof. Knows this, but he knows that by leaping off the ledge. [00:32:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:23] Speaker C: He's been experimenting, glide down to the floor. [00:32:26] Speaker A: He then gets inside the man sized tube and is atomized. [00:32:30] Speaker C: Yep. I hope it's not painful. [00:32:32] Speaker A: Yeah, well it's not because then he shows up right behind the other challengers. Apparently it's a teleporter which that could come in handy and fighting. [00:32:39] Speaker C: Teleporter. [00:32:40] Speaker A: I would. [00:32:42] Speaker C: Yeah. Although I wouldn't want to teleport from one end of the house to the other. I mean I want to like teleport to France for lunch and come back home. [00:32:48] Speaker A: Oh yeah, for sure. But I wouldn't be opposed to teleporting up and down stairs. [00:32:55] Speaker C: You're kidding. [00:32:55] Speaker A: Think of all the time you'd save. [00:32:58] Speaker C: Oh, imagine what our electric bill would be. [00:33:00] Speaker A: Oh, I forgot my glasses upstairs. Zap, tromp, tromp, tromp, tromp, tromp. [00:33:04] Speaker C: Horrible. It's not very common. Just romp up the staircase. [00:33:07] Speaker A: Or like I just text you from downstairs and say can you put my glasses in the teleporter? [00:33:12] Speaker C: That I'd have to get up. I'd text you back and say no. [00:33:16] Speaker A: But you're so much more active than I am. You enjoy. [00:33:19] Speaker C: That's why I'm so tired all the time. [00:33:21] Speaker A: Right. Back at the Challengers haters. They're still fuming about Villo showing up and trying to take over. Well this scheme of Multi Man's. He has the ability to blow up the whole world. Except that would kill us too. Not only just the Challengers, but us and in fact, the entire world. [00:33:44] Speaker C: This is the weird thing. By the time that we get to the bottom of the page, Villa has decided. I'm gonna destroy the world. [00:33:51] Speaker A: Multi Man. [00:33:53] Speaker C: Yeah, Multi Man. Multi Man. [00:33:54] Speaker A: Because Kra, who's from outer space, reminds him that there are 20,000 inhabited planets that just. That I know of. Many of them populated with nice, dumb, friendly people who'd be glad to let you be their Mr. Number One who needs Earth. They don't appreciate you anyway. They only want to give medals to the challengers and slap you behind bars. [00:34:20] Speaker C: So Multiman decides. Yep, you know what? I'm gonna blow up the Earth. Who cares? [00:34:24] Speaker A: In 30 days. [00:34:25] Speaker C: Yeah, in 30 days. That's it. [00:34:27] Speaker A: And exactly one month later, at the United nations building, the Childs are trying. [00:34:32] Speaker C: To get in, but they're stopped by a security guard. [00:34:35] Speaker A: Yeah, they need to see some id. Even though everybody knows who the Challengers are. [00:34:40] Speaker C: The guy whose face is all smushed in. Rocky. [00:34:42] Speaker A: Rocky. [00:34:43] Speaker C: Okay. [00:34:43] Speaker A: He's a boxer. [00:34:44] Speaker C: Okay. [00:34:46] Speaker A: Also, if you're gonna go to the un, don't. Don't have bear arms. Put a jacket on. [00:34:52] Speaker C: Put a jacket on. [00:34:53] Speaker A: Yeah, nobody wants to see your armpit hair trailing around the UN like you're smuggling ferrets. All right. Multiman has sent a note to the UN apparently that he's going to destroy Earth 48 hours from now. The Challengers would say, I would think it's a bluff if this were anyone else but Multi Man. [00:35:16] Speaker C: Yeah. So they're trying to figure out how he might. The scientists are trying to figure out how he might destroy the world, whether by bombs, poison gas, or biological warfare. [00:35:27] Speaker A: But go ahead, Challengers. Nope. Atomic bomb is too old fashioned for Multi man. [00:35:35] Speaker C: And gas and germs aren't his style. So he's gonna do it some other way. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Nope, he's onto something else. [00:35:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:41] Speaker A: Speak of the devil. Back in the Challenger Haters headquarters, Multi man is using his liquid light formula to change his shape. Krah thought he didn't need it anymore, but Multi man wants some extra punch, so he converts himself into a giant. [00:36:02] Speaker C: Ice being who exists at almost absolute zero. Although here's the funny thing. [00:36:10] Speaker A: What? [00:36:13] Speaker C: We don't know why. Like, just think ahead of what's about to happen in this story. [00:36:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:19] Speaker C: The fact that he's converted himself into an ice being. [00:36:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:24] Speaker C: Has no absolute relevancy whatsoever. [00:36:27] Speaker A: Oh, I Think it does. [00:36:28] Speaker C: No, it doesn't. [00:36:29] Speaker A: I think so. Cause he. Yeah. [00:36:31] Speaker C: No. All he does is freeze the chaos. [00:36:34] Speaker A: That's it. [00:36:35] Speaker C: But he doesn't like his. What they're about to do does not involve him being able to create ice or to be at almost absolute zero. Stop for a second and think about it. [00:36:49] Speaker A: I am thinking, doesn't he go under the Earth with Volcano Man? [00:36:53] Speaker C: He does, but the chaos do, too. So there's nothing about him being close to absolute zero. He doesn't do that physical transformation so that he can exist below the Earth's surface. Because the Chals actually are in the same place with him and fight him in the same. And they aren't in any special gear. [00:37:12] Speaker A: Well, they don't have sleeves. They are sleeveless jerkins, so maybe that keeps them cool. [00:37:18] Speaker C: This is why I say this issue is a fever dream. Right? He just did a transformation. He drank his liquid light for no reason whatsoever. [00:37:29] Speaker A: I'm sure he has his reasons. [00:37:31] Speaker C: No, there's no reason. [00:37:32] Speaker A: Are you a mind reader? [00:37:34] Speaker C: I've read the story. And then he gets. He will be transported in a second after the fight is over and changed back to his original form. This is why I never read comics as a child. I used to. I mean, I did read Green Lantern, but, like, this kind of stuff would drive me insane. I would just be like, why did this happen? This is so stupid. I'm not gonna get any. [00:38:02] Speaker A: I'm sorry that happened to you. [00:38:04] Speaker C: You're not gonna, like, be with me on this, are you? [00:38:06] Speaker A: No. [00:38:08] Speaker C: You're okay with this? [00:38:08] Speaker A: I'm sure that he did it because he was traveling under the surface in hot lava. [00:38:13] Speaker C: No, he wasn't. He wasn't. [00:38:15] Speaker A: It happens literally on the next page. [00:38:18] Speaker C: He doesn't travel on the hot lava. He's playing with a model, like a scientific experiment that you do for fourth grade class. [00:38:25] Speaker A: Page 14. He and Volcano man descend to the core of the Earth. [00:38:32] Speaker C: So do the Chows. [00:38:34] Speaker A: They're not wearing special gear, but they aren't wearing sleeves. That's how they keep cool. [00:38:40] Speaker C: You're telling me that molten had to change his form into an ice being that is almost at absolute zero, so that because he's not able to wear a sleeveless shirt. [00:38:50] Speaker A: He does wear a sleeveless shirt, but he's also a tiny little midget with a giant head. I'd change shape, too. [00:38:59] Speaker C: Why? You're never warm. You would never change into an ice creature. [00:39:04] Speaker A: That's true. I would go right to the center of the Earth. [00:39:07] Speaker C: Good God. [00:39:08] Speaker A: I'd probably have to wear a sweater at that. [00:39:13] Speaker C: You have become your mother. [00:39:14] Speaker A: I know. All right, so the challenges are trying to figure out what's the angle? Do you think they're gonna. Is it gonna be cropped? [00:39:23] Speaker C: You know what? [00:39:24] Speaker A: I should have bought this with this alien knowledge. Anything warm to wear. [00:39:27] Speaker C: A quilt jacket? [00:39:28] Speaker A: Yes. [00:39:29] Speaker C: Like one of those things that old women wear. [00:39:31] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:39:32] Speaker C: A quilt jacket or what are those? [00:39:34] Speaker A: Wearable blankets? [00:39:36] Speaker C: A slanket? [00:39:37] Speaker A: Yes. All right. No, we don't think it's kra. We have side by side panels of the Challengers brainstorming and Multiman explaining playing with a model. [00:39:50] Speaker C: Playing with a model. [00:39:52] Speaker A: It's a model of the Earth. [00:39:53] Speaker C: He's made a model volcano. He presses a button and then the baking soda and red food coloring and vinegar are released. And the model of the Earth all shoots out volcanoes at the same time, Correct? Yes. [00:40:07] Speaker A: Volcano man has helped him locate the precise nerve center of Earth's volcanic system. And they're going to rig it so that in 24 hours, one single signal will blow every volcano on Earth simultaneously. That would be bad. At the same moment, the Challengers figure it out. It's gotta be Volcano Man. He's been overlooked all along. And wouldn't he know more about the Earth's volcanic structure than any other being? [00:40:40] Speaker C: Would he? Is he born of a volcano? [00:40:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so. [00:40:46] Speaker C: You don't know anything about Volcano Man? [00:40:48] Speaker A: I don't, but I just assume that he's. [00:40:50] Speaker C: I'm in a mood today. I'm just say, questioning everything. [00:40:53] Speaker A: I should probably just keep my mouth shut. All right. The UN contacts Multiman to say that our time's running out. We can no longer risk the world in a gamble against cruelty and cunning. Therefore, we have no choice but to surrender. Now, who is this eating dinner? Oh, these are just people in a restaurant where there's a. Also, it's a fancy restaurant, not a sports bar, but there is a big screen TV in the middle of the restaurant. [00:41:25] Speaker C: It didn't happen back in the 60s. [00:41:27] Speaker A: I don't think it did. [00:41:28] Speaker C: No. That would not have been something that people would have had in a big, nice restaurant like this with like. Look at the curtained walls. [00:41:38] Speaker A: No, you know what? Nobody had a big screen tv. [00:41:42] Speaker C: No, they were all small. [00:41:42] Speaker A: Except Lex Luthor. [00:41:44] Speaker C: Well, he did. Yes, because he was his own resources. [00:41:48] Speaker A: We had a little when I was growing up. A little? Well, it was where we ate dinner, but it was really a breakfast nook. It was not the formal dining room because that's where all the Mail went. And the pump organ, for some reason. [00:42:02] Speaker C: In the dining room. [00:42:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:05] Speaker C: You had a pump organ? [00:42:06] Speaker A: Yes. Girl, I wish I still had it. [00:42:08] Speaker C: Glad we don't. [00:42:11] Speaker A: And so this little breakfast nook, like the table, was built into a hutch so you could have, you know, be eating your dinner and stare up at knickknacks and also more mail. But there was. [00:42:26] Speaker C: Is that why our mail never gets read when it comes in? Is that why it just gets piled? Because you were raised that way? Yeah, yeah. You know, I read all the mail. [00:42:34] Speaker A: I know. [00:42:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:42:36] Speaker A: I don't need to read it. Why waste energy? I can use my time walking up and down the stairs. Anyway, we had a little, tiny, tiny, tiny black and white TV that was in the hutch. So when you were. [00:42:51] Speaker C: Did you watch the Today show on there? [00:42:53] Speaker A: Not during dinner time, but at breakfast. Yes. [00:42:55] Speaker C: People would watch the news with the orange juice. [00:42:56] Speaker A: And if I was eating a snack by myself, which I did often, I could watch eggs. My programs. [00:43:04] Speaker C: What'd you eat for breakfast? Most studies. [00:43:10] Speaker A: You know, I don't remember cereal. Cold cereal. Yeah. Or toasted peanut butter. Except for the year that I was in fifth grade with Mr. Weddle, who was the meanest teacher on planet Earth. He's not actually mean. I'm Facebook friends with now, but he. I was scared of him, I guess. I don't know. I was convinced that if I ate before going to school, it would give me tummy upset. And, in fact, my mother had to write a note to Mr. Weddle to say that I might sometimes be late because I might have tummy upset if I accidentally ate something before school. [00:43:50] Speaker C: He must have been nervous. [00:43:51] Speaker A: Sure. [00:43:52] Speaker C: Of course. [00:43:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:54] Speaker C: You know, I had to be treated for an ulcer when I was in fifth grade. [00:43:59] Speaker A: That's not cool. [00:44:01] Speaker C: Yeah. I had medicine at school. I took medicine in the middle of the day. [00:44:06] Speaker A: At least they gave you medicine. [00:44:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:10] Speaker A: The year before I went into Mr. Wattle's class, I saw on the playground, it was a snowy day and some boys were throwing snowballs at younger children. I don't know how they missed throwing them at me, because I was a wussy little. Well, I won't say the word. [00:44:29] Speaker C: No, don't. [00:44:29] Speaker A: We've already said it once. And Mr. Wettle sprinted across the playground and tackled these kids into the snow, which, in hindsight, is the greatest thing I've ever seen. [00:44:44] Speaker C: That's great. [00:44:45] Speaker A: I love it. But, you know, that's why it was scared of going into his class. Yeah. And then while I was in his Class. He arranged the desks. We had to sit in each desk like a little cloverleaf pattern, so that, you know, four kids and we're all facing in, looking at each other. Cinda Weber would kick me in the shin all day, every day, all year long. [00:45:09] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:45:10] Speaker A: She lived right down the street from us. And that's after I saved their pregnant cat, who accidentally got locked in Mr. Eckenrode's garage before Mr. Eckynode died. And I had to go down there to Mrs. Widow Eckenrode and tell her that there was a cat trapped in her garage. And she opened the garage door, and here comes the cat, pregnant as can be. Went back to the Webbers house. We're certain that Mr. Eckenroad also killed our cat, Groucho. Cause Groucho showed up on the back porch one day. He'd been shot. Oh, I know. [00:45:42] Speaker C: Cats can't shoot themselves. [00:45:43] Speaker A: No, they cannot. [00:45:44] Speaker C: They don't have thumbs to pull them down. [00:45:46] Speaker A: No, they do not. They could probably rig something up with string or something. But I don't think that was the case at Groucho's demise. [00:45:54] Speaker C: Why do they think that their neighbor did it? [00:45:56] Speaker A: Because Mr. Eckinrode hated cats. In fact, we thought he probably just locked that cat in the garage on purpose because he saw it was pregnant, he just locked it up. Keep it from giving birth to more cats. [00:46:06] Speaker C: Well, she would have just had cats. The kittens in the garage. [00:46:10] Speaker A: Yeah, but they would have starved or something. [00:46:12] Speaker C: You know, Willoughby was a garage cat. [00:46:16] Speaker A: I know. And it's too bad, because the Eckinrods had the greatest roller skating driveway on the whole block. [00:46:22] Speaker C: But did they? [00:46:23] Speaker A: Nobody'd want to go in there till after he died. Then we went in there. [00:46:27] Speaker C: Oh, roller skated. [00:46:30] Speaker A: Anyway, where was I? [00:46:33] Speaker C: I love these stories. [00:46:36] Speaker A: Later at a long. Oh, well, first, Multi man comes on the giant TV in the restaurant and says, you don't understand. I'm not offering you a deal. I'm not operating a bargain basement. The world is through, finished. In this way, I prove that I am greater than Villo, that I am the greatest villain in the world until the world no longer exists, and I'll be the greatest villain on some other world that Kra told me about. Later, at a long dormant volcano in the Pacific, Multiman and Volcano man are describing how they're going to descend to the volcano's base, where they will finish their preparations for the Big Bang. Multiman was able to drill three holes from this nerve center which will precisely channel the vibrations of the first eruption. The vibrations carried by each channel will activate the entire volcanic chain that girdles Earth and shake it apart. Volcano man gives an approving hiss. [00:47:36] Speaker C: Yes. [00:47:37] Speaker A: Just then, the Challengers, they discovered our plan and the precise point at which it had to start. But how can all four leave the plane? [00:47:46] Speaker C: They set it on automatic pilot, which is programmed to land somewhere on the island. So this is something they didn't know about. [00:47:53] Speaker A: It's also something we didn't need to know. No, it's a lot of words here. It's like a Kathy comic. [00:47:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:00] Speaker A: All right. The Challengers parachute down and start kicking. [00:48:05] Speaker C: And beating up Craw and Multi Woman. [00:48:08] Speaker A: Craw and Multi Woman. They get Multi Woman down onto the ground, rip up her breast. Rip up her breastplate and tear off one of her arms and put a. [00:48:22] Speaker C: Bomb inside of her. [00:48:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:23] Speaker C: And they kill her. [00:48:24] Speaker A: And they beat Craw with the arm. [00:48:27] Speaker C: With the arm. With her arm. [00:48:32] Speaker A: Now here comes Multi man and Volcano Man. [00:48:35] Speaker C: Now this is what I'm talking about. [00:48:38] Speaker A: Yeah, they are. [00:48:40] Speaker C: They are down there. [00:48:41] Speaker A: Yes. [00:48:44] Speaker C: Where Multi man and Volcano man are. [00:48:47] Speaker A: They're outside. Multi man and Volcano man are coming out from the crater of the volcano. [00:48:52] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:48:53] Speaker A: The Challengers are on the ground outside. [00:48:55] Speaker C: All right. [00:48:58] Speaker A: Anyway, Multi Man. Yes, does freeze them, leaving only Prof. [00:49:05] Speaker C: Free, who then throws a hydrogen capsule at Multiman. [00:49:10] Speaker A: Yes. Which will combine with the oxygen in the air and give Multiman a face full of good old H2O, which will. [00:49:22] Speaker C: Freeze him into a block of ice. [00:49:23] Speaker A: Yes. [00:49:24] Speaker C: Which is interesting, but it won't hold him forever. But then Vulcan O Man goes into attack mode and tries to kill the Challengers. But because the Challengers are encased in ice, all he does is dissolves them out. Yeah. [00:49:39] Speaker A: They swing an elevator car which is helpfully hanging right there. Well, that's what they use to get down. [00:49:46] Speaker C: And they knock over Vulcanumen. And so at one point, what is her name? Multi Woman is laying there with her breast ripped open, Blown up with her arm beside her. Kra the Robot and Vulcan Woman are all lying on the ground. And where's Little Man? Little Man? Multiman. Oh, there he is. [00:50:06] Speaker A: Suddenly they all disappear and reappear through. [00:50:12] Speaker C: The magic of teleportation in Velos or Villos laboratory, or his Villo's Villa. Villa. And completely fixed. Everyone's whole. [00:50:25] Speaker A: Yes, Multi Woman is whole again. [00:50:30] Speaker C: Multiman is no longer a freeze baby. [00:50:34] Speaker A: No, he's back to normal creature. Yes, Brainax. And Velo is still quarreling because Brain Axe did all the work and Villo's taking credit for it nonetheless. Multiband presses this signal that will start the chain of volcanic eruptions. Our rocket ship must be away in 60 minutes. Both of you may join us. [00:50:57] Speaker C: Oh Lord. And at that very second, within the master volcano. [00:51:02] Speaker A: Okay, now they are down in the volcano, but maybe they're still partially frozen. [00:51:08] Speaker C: All right, I'm not gonna win this argument. [00:51:13] Speaker A: All right. Prof. Has got precise directions on each of the tunnels that Master man had dug. So the challengers need to split up. The first explosion has already started. They need to split up in the galloping gizmo, get to these other locations and prevent further explosions. Well, they don't have time for that. So guess what they're going to do? Teleport. [00:51:39] Speaker C: Teleport. [00:51:41] Speaker A: Rocky teleports to Italy right on target. Is able to prevent his explosion. [00:51:50] Speaker C: What do they do? They set explosions that break the sound wave. That break the shockwave. [00:51:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:56] Speaker C: Disperses sound. [00:51:57] Speaker A: The charge doesn't stop the shockwave, but it splits it up and weakens it and turns it away from the volcano. [00:52:03] Speaker C: It's like when a sound signal is sent out and then you can intercept it with another sound signal to cancel out that sound signal. Sure, that's how sound noise canceling headphones work. [00:52:15] Speaker A: Or it's like, you know, a fire break. You set a fire to stop the other fire from spreading. [00:52:19] Speaker C: You know, it's the exact same scientific principle. Yeah, no, but okay. [00:52:27] Speaker A: Ace is somewhere in the Eleusin Islands. He is also successful, but Red somewhere in Turkey. Red's luck has run out. His charge went off after the shockwave passed through the spot because there was something wrong with the timer. Even if Ace and Rocky did make it, this shockwave could set off the volcano here in Turkey and a chain of them in this hemisphere. Millions could die. I've gotta stop it. And there isn't a second to lose. I can't trust the timer on this charge. [00:53:07] Speaker C: So he's got to actually detonate it. [00:53:10] Speaker A: Himself, holding it by hand. [00:53:14] Speaker C: Which means he's going to sacrifice himself for millions. [00:53:18] Speaker A: Kah. Whoom. [00:53:21] Speaker C: That's it. Alone, without another hand or voice to comfort him, the brave challenger meets his final challenge. May we each go as well when our time comes. A moment of silence for Red. [00:53:35] Speaker A: Sorry. [00:53:37] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:53:38] Speaker A: The others regroup in their headquarters. There's no word from Red. They can't get ahold of him. Prof. Says if he was alive, the transporter beam would have brought him back. Our boy is gone. [00:53:55] Speaker C: Rocky is beside himself. He punches the wall. [00:53:59] Speaker A: Punches a hole in the fucking wall. [00:54:00] Speaker C: Yeah, and he's there. He's just crying. [00:54:04] Speaker A: They have to hold him down, he's crying so much. Yeah, you want to remember, Red. Don't flub out, Rocky. Do it by grabbing the challenger haters. [00:54:17] Speaker C: Yeah, why don't they? All right, go ahead. I mean, they're going after the challenger haters. [00:54:20] Speaker A: They're going after the challenger. [00:54:21] Speaker C: You think that what would happen as soon as they get in like one page, Rocky would go absolutely berserk. [00:54:27] Speaker A: Yeah, let him go berserk. [00:54:28] Speaker C: Let him go berserk. Absolutely. Fists kicking, punching, be awesome. [00:54:34] Speaker A: But nope, they find Villo's flying saucer. Surprised that it's still there because they assumed that everyone would have been taking off before the earth blows up. [00:54:46] Speaker C: Well, Villo has screwed things up. [00:54:48] Speaker A: He certainly has. All right, the challenger haters are caught. But you wouldn't have got us if it weren't for that fool Villo. [00:55:01] Speaker C: Me? It was you, you midget moron. You gave us only 60 minutes to leave the Earth. But we couldn't leave Brainax aboard. We couldn't load Brainax aboard in 60 hours. And I wouldn't leave him behind. [00:55:13] Speaker A: Tettingo dog. Sentimental and stupid, but touching. [00:55:19] Speaker C: Brainix, come on, man. Your lover wouldn't leave you behind. Wouldn't just let you just die. [00:55:24] Speaker A: And the following day, that was a quick organization of a memorial service. [00:55:30] Speaker C: I was wanting to see a couple panels of Rocky. Losing it. [00:55:33] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, too bad. [00:55:36] Speaker C: Following day there's a big ceremony for Red. [00:55:39] Speaker A: For Red again. If you're going to a funeral, wear sleeves. [00:55:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:46] Speaker A: Or they do have more. [00:55:49] Speaker C: Different uniforms, formal uniforms. Just have their muscly arms barren like that. [00:55:55] Speaker A: I mean, later on they're gonna have like catsuits with fur collars. I'm not even joking. [00:56:02] Speaker C: Shut. [00:56:03] Speaker A: I'm not kidding you. [00:56:04] Speaker C: That is so gay. Catsuits with fur collars? [00:56:07] Speaker A: Yeah. God, like the Jellicle cats. [00:56:11] Speaker C: Oh, my God, I hate those cats. [00:56:15] Speaker A: But at that very moment, I guess we're here. I guess it's New York, because the U.N. building. [00:56:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:21] Speaker A: @ that very moment, just across town, a strange new fiber is being woven into the lives of the. [00:56:27] Speaker C: Child. I thought this whole story was just a fever. [00:56:29] Speaker A: Dream. [00:56:30] Speaker C: Yeah. And then we get. [00:56:31] Speaker A: This. The teen idol, Tino Minari. I don't know if that's how you say his last name, but it should. I mean, with a name like Tino, you'd think it's an Italian last name. [00:56:43] Speaker C: Right? You think? It did with an I Minati. With an I at the. [00:56:47] Speaker A: End. Well, okay, so if he came, will they change the spelling at Ellis. [00:56:52] Speaker C: Island? [00:56:52] Speaker A: Okay. I grew up in an Italian neighborhood. You don't need to tell me about how the Italians mispronounce their own names. Okay. Andrew Mormali was across the street. Neighbor. M O R R M I L E. Mormele. [00:57:07] Speaker C: I. By the way, when I saw Angie Marmeli's. [00:57:10] Speaker A: House. [00:57:11] Speaker C: Yes. On our. What did I call that tour? Nostalgia. [00:57:15] Speaker A: Tour. [00:57:15] Speaker C: Yes. I was shocked at how small it was. Yeah. [00:57:20] Speaker A: Yeah. All the houses were small. Yes. On that. [00:57:21] Speaker C: Block. Yes. The way one of your family talked about Christmas Eve dinner at the Mom. [00:57:26] Speaker A: Alleys. [00:57:26] Speaker C: Yeah. I always pictured it at a big place. Oh, no. What did you all. Did you all just stand. [00:57:31] Speaker A: Around? Yeah. Yeah. And there'd be like 50,000 people because she had 50,000 relatives that all lived in a block. [00:57:39] Speaker C: Radius. It's amazing. What a special. [00:57:42] Speaker A: Time. I'll say Tino. So shall we say. [00:57:46] Speaker C: Manari? [00:57:47] Speaker A: Minari. Minari. Tino Minari being mobbed by chicks. He's playing at the Bijou. He's got a sports car outside which we learn he built himself and. [00:58:00] Speaker C: Designed. He's patented 147. [00:58:03] Speaker A: Engines. Yeah, he's got a song to sing too. I've no place to go now I'm all alone. I've nothing to show now Except a heart that's lost its. [00:58:17] Speaker C: Home. So after the show, someone says, well, Tino, you got a call from Frankie and. Oh, did you want to comment on the previous. [00:58:28] Speaker A: Page? I want to comment on the fact that the armed policemen are on stage with Tino blocking the view of the. [00:58:35] Speaker C: Audience. Yeah, that's. [00:58:36] Speaker A: Weird. Well, all the girls are rushing. They've got to have some protection. They should be on the floor. Yeah, that's how we learn that the cops are commenting that he has patented 147 engines which he invented. He's worth millions. And so why is a million dollar grease monkey singing? Why doesn't he quit and save us all some trouble? He's got to get his art out. [00:59:03] Speaker C: Man. Yeah. So Tino gets a call from Frankie and one from Robert Vaughn. Frank must be Frankie. [00:59:08] Speaker A: Avalon. No, Frank Sinatra, he. [00:59:10] Speaker C: Says. Oh, Frank Sinatra. Also one from the Peace. [00:59:12] Speaker A: Corps. [00:59:12] Speaker C: Yeah. Tell Sinatra. I'll be glad to. Tell Sinatra I'll be glad to play that charity date, but cancel that Man From UNCLE show. I've got too much else to do. [00:59:21] Speaker A: What? Starring Robert Vaughn was the star of the man from. [00:59:23] Speaker C: U.N.C.L.E. oh. [00:59:23] Speaker A: Okay. And apparently also responsible for lining up guest. [00:59:26] Speaker C: Stars. What's with this Peace Corps bit. [00:59:30] Speaker A: Though? They want me to design an all purpose vehicle for backward countries. Backward countries, Backward countries. That's important. But I'm making no other future plans. I've got a heavy schedule coming. [00:59:43] Speaker C: Up. Then when the fabulous teenager finally finds himself. [00:59:46] Speaker A: Alone. Yes, a very heavy schedule. And it won't be filled until I make sure the last challenger is. [00:59:54] Speaker C: Dead. So he has like a bingo card with the challenger's faces on. [00:59:59] Speaker A: It. [00:59:59] Speaker C: Yep. Red's scratched. [01:00:00] Speaker A: Out. Red is scratched out. And if there's one of you readers who could ignore that kind of teaser to lure him or her to the next issue, we want to meet him, the fink. I happen to know who Tino Minari is, but I cannot disclose that information to you because I want you to discover it in your own sweet. [01:00:25] Speaker C: Time. Thank you. I don't want any. [01:00:27] Speaker A: Spoilers. Actually, I don't think we learn it until after they stop checkerboarding the issues. Oh, so I'll know. But I'll tell you when. I'll do a recap when we get to the last checkerboarded. [01:00:38] Speaker C: Issue. Okay, awesome. Will we be retired from work by. [01:00:42] Speaker A: Then? I don't know. Ben Rebhun, whom experts call today's top bodybuilding authority and promises to give us to show us how to make ourselves astronaut tough. I just had never heard of him. So I googled Ben Rebhun. Apparently this is someone else's body. He just took over the business and then superimposed his own face on top of his. [01:01:08] Speaker C: Body. You're. [01:01:09] Speaker A: Kidding. No, but I see that, you know, John sill gained 60 pounds of shapely, mighty muscles. Felipe Mendezo lost 30 pounds of dangerous, ugly fat and four inches off his waist before mailing the coupon. John sill was a 125 pound, 6 foot skinny. [01:01:32] Speaker C: Weakling. Wow. What a great idea to mail in a. [01:01:36] Speaker A: Coupon. [01:01:38] Speaker C: Yeah. Is that all you have to do? Mail in a. [01:01:39] Speaker A: Coupon? Mail in a coupon and then you. [01:01:41] Speaker C: Get. You lose. [01:01:41] Speaker A: Fat. You have to enclose $0.10 for mailing and. [01:01:44] Speaker C: Handling. [01:01:44] Speaker A: Okay. But you're under no other obligation. [01:01:47] Speaker C: So a. [01:01:47] Speaker A: Dime, you can gain weight, triple your strength, streamline your body, add inches of muscle to my arms, chest, shoulders, or powerful legs. Or I want to become a winning athlete. Or I want new pep. You just check the box of everything you. [01:02:07] Speaker C: Want. Oh, I want new. [01:02:08] Speaker A: Pep. You need it. [01:02:10] Speaker C: Girl. I. [01:02:10] Speaker A: Know. You can find us on social media at GoGoCheckPod. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from and you can find us right back here next week with I promise this time, Bob hope. Oh, God, I know we'll get through it. We always. [01:02:31] Speaker C: Do. We. [01:02:32] Speaker A: Do. We could just lump everything, do Bob hope, Jerry Lewis and Stan as monster all. [01:02:37] Speaker C: Together. Oh, my. [01:02:38] Speaker A: God. Let's get it out of the way to say bye. Oh, yeah, let's say bye. [01:02:44] Speaker B: Bye. You don't have to be a politician? You can change it all with a s disposition? So be heavy and spread it all around? If you find yourself a frowning? Just turn it upside down? When you wear a smile? The world will shout hooray? You gotta turn on the sunshine? You gotta give in one time? You gotta turn on the sunshine? Push the those blues away, Man, this dialectic's too.