Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready?
[00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Are you with it?
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there.
Everybody everywhere.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go.
[00:00:21] Speaker C: Go.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967.
I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Batman 190. Cover date March 1967. Cover price, 12 cents. Cover artists Carmine Infantino and Joe Giella. Edited by Julius Schwartz. Featuring the Penguin Takes a flyer into the future.
Written by Gardner Fox. Art by Sheldon Moldoff and Joe Giella. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go.
[00:01:03] Speaker D: If you're walking in the shadows then it's time that you get wise I just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes when you wear a smile the world will shout Hooray.
You gotta turn.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: The Penguin devises a series of new tricks designed to appear to use futuristic technology. When Batman and Robin try to stop him, the Penguin's gang uses the Trix to battle them. The Dynamic Duo deduce the secrets behind the tricks which allow them to beat the gang. But the Penguin does manage to escape with the loot. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything.
[00:02:03] Speaker E: Your world is cloudy, blue skies turn to gray Raindrops are falling. But why stop and call it a day when there'll be no stormy weather?
As long as you're with me Our love so together.
Girl, I love ya. You can depend on me.
I'll be your umbrella mail.
Shower you with all my love Umbrella mail.
Shelter you in my loving arms.
Umbrella mail.
Help me, help me shall you know I love you, love you, love you, love you.
[00:03:01] Speaker B: What a world.
[00:03:03] Speaker C: What do you mean?
[00:03:04] Speaker B: Well, we've got the ceiling fan on, the washing machine's going. It's just the kind of exciting content our listener has come to expect.
[00:03:11] Speaker C: Well, we can't let life stop for them.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: I suppose not.
[00:03:19] Speaker C: Speaking of letting life stop, you must be working your ass off.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: Girl, I work eight hours a day and then I go to school and teach for three hours. Luckily, one student had food poisoning a.
[00:03:30] Speaker C: Day, so I hope they're okay.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: They're fine.
[00:03:32] Speaker C: Well, so far my entire voice studio has shown up. And I love teaching them. They're all different levels, but it's been fun getting to know them.
[00:03:42] Speaker B: Getting to know.
[00:03:43] Speaker C: I mean, because I was. I was in a fully administrative role for a year and a half, and so I had no students. So I'm back in the. In the. In the. In the studio, in the classroom.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Thick of it.
[00:03:54] Speaker C: I am in the thick of it. And I'll tell you what, it's fun. It's fun to teach these students again.
[00:03:59] Speaker B: Well, you'll get over that.
[00:04:01] Speaker C: I'm sure it'll wear off soon.
Let's see. Oh, what else has happened? So we went. We've been busy. We did something. I took my motorcycle in last week.
[00:04:10] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:04:10] Speaker C: I don't know if I mentioned that on our last podcast.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Oh, do you have a motorcycle?
[00:04:17] Speaker C: I need to get the fender replaced. So I brought my motorcycle and the replacement fender that I had purchased in, and they're going to remove it and the passenger seat and they're gonna repl.
Prime it and paint it for me and install the new seat. And I can't wait. I'm sorry, not the new seat. I'm not having a new seat put on. I don't need a passenger seat because I'm not carrying you around on the motorcycle.
[00:04:35] Speaker B: I should say not the new fender.
[00:04:37] Speaker C: Installed, but that'll be great. I cannot wait to get that back because the weather is perfect for riding right now, and I should have that back in about a week.
And of course, we had the mold inspector come out and a mitigation specialist, and also I had a foundation thing looked at in the. In the sunroom, the television room, that any listener who's been to our home knows. We have a sunroom. And there has been a crack in the wall that I have been dealing with since we moved in here. And it turns out that my suspicions were right.
There are some jacks that are underneath the foundation of that room and they are insufficient for the load of the room. So we're going to have to have those replaced and reinforced with some steel supports and also the mold taken care of. Luckily, there is a bright side to this story. First of all, it's going to be expensive to take care.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: Quite expensive. We may have to turn to a life of crime.
[00:05:28] Speaker C: Yes. But the bright news is we were alerted to the mold issue early.
[00:05:34] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:05:35] Speaker C: Because left untreated, it does actually destroy your wood. And left untreated, you could be replacing potentially floor joists and potentially the boards on the foundation. Like, just. Oh, cat just made a noise.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:05:50] Speaker C: Okay. So anyway, luckily we got it early, so that will be taken care of. And so we'll have a new roof put on in October and the basement completely mold mitigation and that stuff taken care of in November, so.
[00:06:05] Speaker B: God, it's so cute that you think I understand what any of that means. Joists and boards.
Well, whatever language you're talking. Is that what the kind of language they talk at Home Depot?
[00:06:18] Speaker C: Yes. Okay, so there we go. That's all the. That's all the history we've been managing to find ways to get to squeeze in exercise into our very busy routines. Oh, listen, listener, listener.
Some of our listeners actually like music theater, but probably very few of them. I am so excited. I am doing the final callbacks for our musical that I'm casting that I will be directing, both musically and stage directing. And then I'll turn it. I'll hand it off to a Pitt band.
I'm going to be directing Next to Normal.
[00:06:51] Speaker B: Next to Normal. But that's not the show you auditioned for.
[00:06:55] Speaker C: No, that was not the show that I cast for. Originally. I held auditions for A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and some of the students didn't care for the musical, so some students didn't show up to audition for the musical, so I cast instead a musical to utilize most of the cast that actually showed up to audition.
[00:07:14] Speaker B: That'll learn them.
[00:07:15] Speaker C: That'll learn them. Al, I've heard such feedback already.
[00:07:18] Speaker B: Oh, my God, there's some.
[00:07:20] Speaker C: Those kids are angry. The ones who didn't audition are angry that I chose Next to Normal because they want to do it. Like, oh, well, should have shown up.
[00:07:27] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe show up next year. Life's rough.
[00:07:30] Speaker C: Yeah, get over it.
[00:07:31] Speaker B: College prepares you for real life, which also sucks.
Hans, whom listeners will remember from episode 270.
[00:07:41] Speaker C: Oh, thank you for looking that up.
[00:07:43] Speaker B: Sure. Hans looked it up. I had it right in the tongue.
[00:07:46] Speaker C: Hans, my colleague at work, and he's also a very good friend and he's also very talented.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: Well, he's going to teach me how to 3D print because he's made a lovely maquette of Superman following a crypto. And Superman's got a ball in his hand he's getting ready to throw to crypto. It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
[00:08:06] Speaker C: He's truly adorable.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: And I didn't tell you I found a crypto action figure on ebay and I've ordered it.
[00:08:13] Speaker C: You finally did?
[00:08:14] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:15] Speaker C: Is it. What do you call that? Not a Pinnable. What do you call it?
[00:08:18] Speaker B: Well, it's a McFarlane figure, so it doesn't but what do they call that when it moves?
[00:08:24] Speaker C: Articulated.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: It's not, except that the person that is selling it modified it so the head will rotate. Okay, so it'll do for now. Well, I. Till I learn how to 3D print my own articulated figures.
[00:08:39] Speaker C: Over the moon, over this gift. I just went to church on Sunday and he had it in a bag and he said, I gotta show you something. I made this for you and Dr. Bob.
And he said, I know how much you liked the movie.
I couldn't believe it. I could not believe it. He printed it and painted it for us and everything.
[00:08:56] Speaker B: It's beautiful. So, listeners, it's a very good paint job, too. I've seen some examples online which are not quite so skillful.
So, listeners, be aware that we do accept gifts.
Contact us on social media for all the details.
[00:09:10] Speaker C: And by the way, we also accept money if you're thinking about helping us with our basement restoration, which is going to be quite expensive.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: Nobody listening to us has that much money. Trust me. What a war.
[00:09:20] Speaker C: What a war.
[00:09:20] Speaker B: The Penguin and his weapon Umbrella army against Batman and Robin. Yes, It's Batman. Number 190. March 1967.
[00:09:28] Speaker C: Should say, what a bore.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: The Penguin is at the height of his popularity owing to the Batman television program airing at this time.
Played, of course, by Burgess Meredith. I read.
You know, I always read the who's who articles. And apparently the Penguin's supposed to be a fearsome criminal feared by all of Gotham City.
[00:09:55] Speaker C: Really?
[00:09:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:56] Speaker C: Is he like a Mafia boss or something?
[00:09:58] Speaker B: Yeah, something like that. And we haven't watched the Penguin television program starring Colin Farrell.
[00:10:07] Speaker C: Oh, Jesus. Why?
[00:10:08] Speaker B: Well, because we never saw that movie in which it was introduced and just don't care.
[00:10:13] Speaker C: There's so much to watch.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: There's very. A lot of things to watch.
[00:10:17] Speaker C: Right.
And all those. Oh, don't get me started on those shows, the television shows. Go ahead.
[00:10:23] Speaker B: Well, we've got the Downton Abbey movie coming up this weekend, which means we're gonna have to probably rewatch the whole series, even though we just rewatched it all.
[00:10:30] Speaker C: What is that show we're watching with John Cena?
[00:10:33] Speaker B: Peacemaker.
[00:10:33] Speaker C: Peacemaker. That's good.
[00:10:35] Speaker B: Yeah, we like that.
[00:10:36] Speaker C: It's very edgy.
[00:10:37] Speaker B: Yes. And bloody.
We love gore.
We just watched Jaws last night. It's my first time ever watching it.
[00:10:45] Speaker C: And did I scream?
[00:10:47] Speaker B: You screamed like a girl.
[00:10:48] Speaker C: I did. I had forgotten. I saw it many, many years ago. I have forgotten.
There is one part that is unexpected, that I just jumped and screamed like a girl.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: You did?
[00:10:58] Speaker C: I did. Yeah. Which everyone with us laughed at. Me. I don't care.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: But that'll be coming up soon on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra, which you should all be listening to. And if you're not, I'll know the reason why.
Anyway, whenever that pompous master of foul play get it. Foul F O W L. Yes.
The Penguin waddles out on a crime caper. It's an odds on bet that Batman and Robin will nab him before he can feather his nest and get it with ill gotten gains.
[00:11:31] Speaker C: Oh, there's a lot of that in this. To lessen the odds against him this time, the Bumbershoot Bandit is operating on the principle that there is no future for a croc today. A crook today. You know what? You're gonna have to read this. Go ahead.
[00:11:46] Speaker B: What's wrong?
[00:11:47] Speaker C: I've got my contacts in and they're all blurry and I'm thinking we might have to pause and I can take them out and put my glasses on.
[00:11:53] Speaker B: To lessen the odds against him this time, the Bumbershoot Bandit is operating on the principle that there is no future for a crook today unless he uses crooked crime techniques of tomorrow. Which is precisely what confounds the Caped Crusaders. When the Penguin takes a flyer into the future.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: The Penguin takes a flyer into the future.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: The first known use of the word bumbershoot was in 1876.
It's an American slang which combines the bumber part of umbrella with the chute, or chute from parachute.
[00:12:38] Speaker C: Oh, okay.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: The combination reflects the visual similarity between an open parachute and an umbrella and the terms whimsical alteration of existing words.
[00:12:49] Speaker C: Well, it didn't last, did it?
[00:12:50] Speaker B: I should say not. Bumbershoot is also an annual international music and arts festival held in Seattle, Washington.
Takes place every Labor Day weekend at the 74 acre Seattle center, which was built for the 1962 World's Fair. Okay, didn't we see the Seattle Needle destroyed recently in a comic?
Toppled over or something?
[00:13:17] Speaker C: Wasn't it stitched back together with Superman's heat vision or something like that? Or Supergirl's.
[00:13:23] Speaker B: Supergirl, yes.
[00:13:25] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:26] Speaker B: It's so hard to remember details on things like this.
3 days ago, have you heard, a heat wave rolled into Gotham City and refused to move out.
People are sleeping out on their balconies. The beaches are jammed even at 10 o' clock in the evening. But in a certain underworld hangout, four gangsters cool it in style. They've got air conditioned uniforms.
[00:13:51] Speaker C: Wow, Penguin, this is a greatest idea. You've ever had.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: Good, but not great.
The time is coming when such uniforms will be common. I can't do that. While everyone else is wilting from the heat, Penguin is going to provide his henchmen with air conditioned uniforms so they can commit their crimes carefree.
[00:14:15] Speaker C: Indeed. A comfortable crook is an effective crook. Moreover, an energetic crook is an enduring crook. We'll be able to stand up to the meddling busybodies like Batman and Robin. Come along to my next surprise. By the way, listener, we did pause for me to remove my glass, my.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: Contact, so I can read clearly now.
[00:14:30] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: By the way, I watched one of my birthday presents, the movie Skidoo.
[00:14:36] Speaker C: Did you?
[00:14:37] Speaker B: Starring Carol Channing and Jackie Gleason.
[00:14:42] Speaker C: Oh, Jesus.
[00:14:43] Speaker B: As well as Peter Lawford, Mickey Rooney, Burgess Meredith and Groucho Marx.
[00:14:54] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:14:54] Speaker B: And Frankie Avalon.
And at the end. Well, I fell asleep during the middle of it. Then at the end I woke up and Carol Channing is dressed as a pirate leading a band of pirate hippies onto a yacht where Jackie Gleason was being held prisoner.
[00:15:11] Speaker C: I think I've seen this.
[00:15:13] Speaker B: And for about 57 minutes they sing. Skidoo, skidoo diddle diddle diddle doo to you Skidoo.
[00:15:23] Speaker C: That's horrible.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: Skidoo. It was not great to wake up to, I can tell you that.
But it's worth it to see Carol Channing dressed as a hippie. She must have been about 87 in 1968.
I know. I'm sorry. You like her. I know.
[00:15:39] Speaker C: As a child I just thought she was very interesting, so I thought she.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: Was very interesting too. I don't dislike her. I just.
[00:15:46] Speaker C: I didn't know her name. And of course, I, of course wasn't raised in a family that followed any of that sort of culture, so I just called her Puppet Eyes.
[00:15:52] Speaker B: Well, she did have very large eyes, like a. Like those puppets in the Lonely Goatherd. Segment of sound music.
[00:15:59] Speaker C: Yes. Or like the Fabulous Thunderbirds.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: Yes.
In the magnificent dining room which forms part of his aerie.
Get it? The bold buccaneer of birds and bumbershoots is host for the night in this.
[00:16:16] Speaker C: Oh, go ahead.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Oh. To his henchmen. He's providing them with a lovely comp meal. Yes.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: In this mod place of this madcap world we live in today, you men burn up so much energetic energy. Rather battling the law and the dynamic duo. You must be completely fit. Your bodies are machines. And like all machines, they need high grade fuel to function most efficiently. Accordingly, I have devised a futuristic meal which is instant energy Itself. And so let it be served.
[00:16:46] Speaker B: Classic future food.
Space dots.
[00:16:49] Speaker C: Space dots. They bring out food and it's literally micro, micro little pills.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: Yes.
Also, there's a duplicate of the Penguin is serving the dinner.
Turns out it's a penguin robot.
Superman's not the only person who can build robots in the DC universe.
[00:17:08] Speaker C: God, I wish I had a robot.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: I know.
[00:17:11] Speaker C: What would you do?
[00:17:12] Speaker B: Send it to school to teach for you?
[00:17:14] Speaker C: Yes, of course.
[00:17:15] Speaker B: Make it write your lecture notes.
Now, if you want these boys to have energy to fight crime, they've got to have carbs and protein for muscle. Can't just give them pills.
[00:17:27] Speaker C: Well, it says each of these pills contains all the concentrated food elements of Chateaubriand steak.
What's Chateaubriand steak? Have we ever had that before?
[00:17:36] Speaker B: I doubt it. It sounds fancy.
[00:17:38] Speaker C: Caesar salad. We've had that. Potato and vegetables and baked Alaska.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: At least four of those things are not optimally healthy if you're wanting to build a lethal crime force.
[00:17:50] Speaker C: Right.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: All right. They enjoy their meal of pills and Penguin's going to go on and on about the future.
You see before you boys a genius who has come to grips with the future and out thought it. I, the Penguin, master of foul play, have at last come into my own.
Too long have we permitted the law enforcement agencies of our world to thwart us with their scientific crime detection devices. Today's outdated crook doesn't stand a chance. I have done nothing in answer to this challenge until now.
The Penguin has turned into the Dove of the Ark, leading all others to follow his example. Get it? Dove of the Ark? Your air conditioned uniforms and instant energy pills are just a sample of how I have updated my crime techniques this very night. If luck is with us, we shall again tangle with Batman and Robin. But they shall not confront bumbling braggarts and hapless hoods. On the contrary, they will find us inventive and ingenious. We shall be invigorated, incomparable, invulnerable. The Dynamic Duo shall go down before us like pins to a bowling ball in the hands of an expert.
[00:19:04] Speaker C: My goodness, listen to you.
[00:19:07] Speaker B: This is like a Kathy Giesweit comic.
[00:19:10] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: So many words going on and on.
[00:19:11] Speaker C: Before she tries on her bathing suit.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: Ack.
[00:19:13] Speaker C: In front of a mirror.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: That's all Penguin needed to say was ack.
Meanwhile, through the sweltering heat of the city streets comes the Batmobile. The same night he's got the top down.
Cause it's so hot.
Robin's still trying to make gags this is a Phyllis Diller gag. I'm sure of it.
It's so hot. I just saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
I can't get no satisfaction I bought a new hat. They cancelled Easter.
[00:19:52] Speaker C: I can't get. You know, by the way, listener, if you've never listened to Phil Stiller singing I can't get no Satisfaction, stop this podcast and go listen to it. It's fantastic.
[00:20:04] Speaker B: It is the worst. I'm sure it's on YouTube.
[00:20:06] Speaker C: It's the worst.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: She sings, I can't get enough satisfaction. Then in between verses, she tells jokes. I went to the Taffy poll. The taffy won.
Speaking of heat, however, Batman's sonar oscillator in the Batmobile seems to be affected by the heat as well.
By the pattern of the squiggles, Robin assumes some crook is working a nuclear powered drill.
This is Sea Devil's level deduction.
[00:20:37] Speaker C: Just as I suspected, a nuclear power drill. Okay, let's find out what's going on on the next page. Well, into the offices of the international gold corporate corporation, Race the Masked Manhunter and Boy Wonder.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: There's our answer, Batman. That wise old bird Penguin.
[00:20:52] Speaker C: The Penguin.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: But the next instant, Batman and Robin's feet feel so heavy they can't even move.
[00:21:00] Speaker C: Yes, well, the Penguin says, you've been.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: Caught flat footed by my gravity beam.
[00:21:06] Speaker B: Gravity beam? But nobody's ever invented such a. Oof.
[00:21:08] Speaker A: How droll. You can hardly move, yet you deny the truth of what's happening to you. Hit him again, Swifty.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: So Swifty takes some punches at Batman.
[00:21:17] Speaker B: Batman and Robin are sitting ducks. They can't move their feet.
Luckily, Robin's very lithe and agile. He can avoid criminal's punch for a little while, but he can't move his feet to get close enough to a criminal to punch back.
All right. Robin wonders why the gang is not affected by the gravity beam.
Could it be because, as Batman thinks, at the same time as we ran in, we pounded over something that grated under our boots. If those were iron fillings.
[00:21:52] Speaker C: Filings.
It should be filings.
[00:21:55] Speaker B: It should be. But it says fillings.
[00:21:58] Speaker C: Yeah, you're right.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: Batman orders Robin to take off his boots.
Well, polite mannered gentlemen would have taken off their shoes when they entered a room anyway.
[00:22:07] Speaker C: Not crime fighters.
You never know what to expect.
[00:22:11] Speaker B: So the iron fillings have adhered to the bottom of their boots and that's why they're stuck to the floor.
But they take their boots off and off they go. I'm happy to see that in this reprinted recolored edition. At least Batman and Robin both have socks that match the colors of their boots.
[00:22:33] Speaker C: They do on this page.
[00:22:35] Speaker B: In Robin's case, that may be dye from his felt boots.
[00:22:39] Speaker C: Yeah, that. Because the next page, the colorist forgot to add in the color to Robinson.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: Whoops.
[00:22:45] Speaker C: Yeah, I noticed that when I read it, too.
[00:22:47] Speaker B: Well, that's probably the added color was the mistake.
All right. They make.
[00:22:55] Speaker C: I love the felt from Robin's dyed. His feet are green.
[00:23:02] Speaker B: But if anyone's got a foot fetish, page seven, top panel, that's for you.
All right. They make quick work of the henchmen. They punch Penguin aside his head and toss him into the open safe.
And Penguin refuses to give up, explaining that his henchmen had a futuristic meal before coming here and their energized bodies have already recovered. Look for yourselves, Caped Crusaders.
[00:23:31] Speaker C: These guys jump to the right back into the fight.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: Batman and Robin, of course, are not going to be down for long.
Robin takes off with a second helping of punch pudding.
The criminals are not even trying to avoid or stop Batman and Robin. Penguin says, why should they?
They know you can't lay a hand on them.
[00:24:04] Speaker C: This next thing is so stupid.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: It's very stupid.
[00:24:08] Speaker C: Really stupid. I couldn't believe that actually.
The writers actually thought this would work.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: This is written by Gardner Fox, so we don't expect stupidity from him.
[00:24:19] Speaker C: No.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: This reads like a Bob Haney contraption.
[00:24:23] Speaker C: 100%.
[00:24:25] Speaker B: Batman and Robin are trying to hit the crooks, but they.
They keep missing. They keep missing, and the criminals are not even moving out of the way.
[00:24:33] Speaker C: But the criminals can land punches on Batman.
[00:24:35] Speaker B: And Robbie gets them.
[00:24:37] Speaker C: They do get them, several times.
[00:24:39] Speaker B: There's only one answer. Batman says some strange force is deflecting his fist away from its target.
Well, it's in another one of these futuristic inventions that penguins come up with. He calls it a fist. Fender off.
I think in the future they'll have to have more clever names. Yes, if they want to get a patent.
[00:25:02] Speaker C: The Penguin explains.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: Just as future spaceships will have meteor bumpers to ward off meteors that fly through space, so I have equipped my men with devices to fend off your flying fists. My felonious flock is thus protected from even the bombastic blows of such crime killjoys as you.
[00:25:19] Speaker B: To hey, fella. Robin says, hey, fella. You know when a spanking is like a hat, when it's felt.
[00:25:32] Speaker C: Is it just like Phyllis Diller wrote the joke.
[00:25:34] Speaker B: Or a Jerry Lewis comic?
[00:25:36] Speaker C: So where did. Let's move.
[00:25:39] Speaker B: Penguin is Done with the jokes, he says.
[00:25:41] Speaker C: I can't stand these jokes.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: Quick work of this.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: Neither can we, Penguin. While Batman's fists keep missing, his wits keep clicking.
For all the Penguin's boasts, I can't believe he's come up with a fist. Fender off. It's got to be a trick to make it appear that way.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: Well, Batman, what's the difference? If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? If your fists can't connect, then it is indeed a fist. Fender off.
[00:26:04] Speaker C: Yeah. Thank you.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Robin, too, is alert to what goes on around him.
[00:26:09] Speaker C: Listen, maybe I'm telegraphing my punches. That would mean that the man I'm fighting knows where I'm going to hit. Thanks for explaining that, Robin.
[00:26:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:17] Speaker C: Didn't know what telegraphing your punch is, because I live under a rock.
But suppose I fake a punch. I'll feint a right and strike fast with my left.
He does.
[00:26:28] Speaker B: It worked.
Batman does the same. It also works.
And as he follows through Batman's cheek.
[00:26:37] Speaker C: I wanted to punch the comic when I read this.
[00:26:42] Speaker B: Batman's cheek comes close to the bandit's uniform. And just as Dane Dorrance of the Sea Devils suspects, their uniforms are equipped to release air under high pressure at certain points.
When the crook sees where my punch is aimed, he sends out a concentrated blast of air to hit Batman's fist and brush it aside.
[00:27:09] Speaker C: That would have to be. I mean, just physics. One incredibly forceful burst of air. One that Batman and Robin would have heard with the very first punch that they threw.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:27:21] Speaker C: Would have probably seen material flapping of some sort. Like it. In order to fend off a flying fist from a clo. A piece of clothing that you're wearing.
[00:27:31] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:27:31] Speaker C: You would also have to brace yourself as the. As the force from which the air was being expelled, because you also had that force going out. I don't know how to explain it.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: I get you.
[00:27:43] Speaker C: Yeah, right.
[00:27:44] Speaker B: You'd also. The criminal would have to have very quick reflexes.
[00:27:48] Speaker A: Yes. To figure out exactly where the thing's.
[00:27:50] Speaker B: Going to tell the suit where to. Yes.
And this is before criminals were trained on video games.
[00:27:57] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:28:00] Speaker B: All right. Batman solved the trick.
Batman and Robin managed to make quick work of the henchmen. But Penguin, they're too late to catch him because he hops out the window onto his jet umbrella full of gold bullion. With all the gold he can carry.
He races across the night sky. And a bitter realization comes to the Penguin.
My Bird Brain gang was incapable of thinking as fast as Batman and Robin.
I'll have to devise some new means of handling those two shortly in his subterranean nest.
[00:28:41] Speaker A: Ah, yes, I have it. Just as I created.
[00:28:44] Speaker C: Hold on a second. I have to deny that phone call.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Just as I created a robit. Robot penguin. I shall make robot umbrellas. Robot brellas to steal and do battle for me.
By controlling their every move with my own brain, I will be in complete command at all times. Now to work.
[00:29:02] Speaker C: To work.
[00:29:04] Speaker B: Robot.
That's pretty good. Yeah. Robot.
[00:29:08] Speaker C: Robot. Umbrellas.
In a world where Superman has multiple robots of himself.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:17] Speaker C: Wonder Woman. Excuse me. Not one moment.
Does she have. She have robots.
[00:29:22] Speaker B: She's got a robot plane.
[00:29:24] Speaker C: Okay.
Supergirl has robots.
[00:29:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, Superman built those.
[00:29:28] Speaker C: Yeah.
And Lex Luthor has the ability to see anyone anywhere, at any time in any location.
[00:29:36] Speaker B: Yes. Across universes, in the past or the future.
[00:29:39] Speaker C: We have to just suspend disbelief and say, okay, the penguin can create robot brellas.
[00:29:43] Speaker B: I'm not. I'm not disbelieving the fact.
[00:29:46] Speaker C: I am. I am.
[00:29:48] Speaker B: I was just mocking the name.
[00:29:50] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:29:50] Speaker B: Robotrellas.
[00:29:52] Speaker C: What would you call them?
[00:29:55] Speaker B: Umbrellas or robot umbrellas or trick umbrellas?
They're not.
Well, I guess they are operating independently.
All right.
Some nights later.
[00:30:12] Speaker C: I'm sorry, I'm being quiet because I'm looking at the French word paraprier. Yeah, I'm trying to think of some clever little word for paraprier and a remote controlled thing, but I can't because I'm not like that. But I know one listener who can. He'll probably text us with the answer as soon as he hears this walking his two dogs.
[00:30:30] Speaker B: Oh, gosh, now I can't even remember the words.
[00:30:34] Speaker C: What?
Umbrellas of Cherbourg Parapil.
Is it umbrellas?
[00:30:43] Speaker B: Yes. Well, I used to know the whole song in French. Oh, I've sung it several times now. I can't remember the words, of course, so I'll have to put it. That's a bumper somewhere.
All right. Some nights later, silent shapes jet smoothly through the air.
It's the robotrellas. They are muffled.
[00:31:01] Speaker C: He calls them robber hyphen. Robot barellas.
[00:31:07] Speaker B: There's one with a laser beam which melts the glass windows of the jewelry store.
And then the bumbershoot bandits are able to enter.
[00:31:18] Speaker C: Can I just ask you something?
[00:31:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:31:21] Speaker C: If the Penguin is truly clever enough to create robot brellas that he can control with his brain that are so accurate they can fly to a jewelry store, use a laser beam to open to cut through glass, fly in and use magnets and all sorts of jewelers eyes. And project that back to the Penguin so he can see. Why does he have to steal jewelry? He's fucking smart.
Well, if he really can do this, he's fucking brilliant.
What good are. Jules, this guy's fucking.
[00:31:56] Speaker B: Well, he might have some kind of a condition.
[00:32:00] Speaker C: Like what?
[00:32:01] Speaker B: I don't know. Like the inability to remember.
All right. He uses concealed magnets. He's got a Lexaphone in his secret headquarters.
He's using concealed magnets in the handles of the robot rellas to open the safe doors. And then he remote controls his plundering parasols to choose the loot for him.
So they're not robots because they're not acting independently. They're remote control flying umbrellas.
[00:32:34] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:32:36] Speaker B: He then scans each jewel with the jeweler's eyepiece. That's called a loop. And these umbrellas select only the finest stones for his enjoyment. It's for his enjoyment. He's not selling the jewels. It's for his enjoyment.
[00:32:53] Speaker C: Do you think he's a dandy? Do you think he wears his jewelry around?
[00:32:55] Speaker B: Well, look at him. He's wearing a morning coat and a top hat.
[00:33:00] Speaker C: I just thought it was just bad taste.
[00:33:02] Speaker B: So, as the bandit bumber chutes give off electronic signals while they function, Batman and Robin, of course, are able to track the signals.
And they find the jewelry store being robbed by jet umbrellas.
[00:33:16] Speaker C: But they arrive late.
[00:33:17] Speaker B: They arrive late and deduce correctly, the Penguin must be controlling the umbrellas from his hideout.
[00:33:27] Speaker C: So they try to follow is Batman. Batman is following with his binoculars and driving.
[00:33:34] Speaker B: Is that what I assume? Excuse me. Batknoculars.
All right. The flying umbrellas will surely lead them to the Penguin's secret hideout. They keep the robot rellas in sight until they get out of range. They're moving faster and faster. It looks like the Penguin's getting away this time.
[00:33:53] Speaker C: Indeed.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: But just for this time, when he strikes again, we'll have the scientific solution to his robberies by umbrellas.
So, umbrellas.
[00:34:06] Speaker C: The Penguin has stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars of gold bullion and hundreds of thousand dollars of jewelry.
[00:34:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Correct.
[00:34:14] Speaker C: Batman's not a really good caped crusader.
He hasn't prevented the Penguin from doing two things.
[00:34:20] Speaker B: Well, no, he's the world's greatest detective. That means he solves the crime every after it's been committed.
[00:34:26] Speaker C: Well, I wonder if he's going to actually recover all the stolen goods. Because it's not actually revealed at the end that he does recover the stolen goods.
[00:34:36] Speaker B: Well, I think that can be assumed. And I Hate to say this, it seems like Robin's got the upper hand in the brains department this issue.
He's the first one to figure out that he could fake a punch. Yeah.
Soon they're hard at work in the Bat Cave, inventing their Bat Rellas.
And Alfred has not returned from his special mission he was on to get some transistors the Batman needs for the job.
But finally, Alfred returns through the concealed bat door in the Bat Cave.
He didn't want to arouse Aunt Harriet's suspicions, so he came in by the hillside entrance.
[00:35:15] Speaker C: What does Aunt Harriet think they're doing with all their time that they're away fighting crime?
[00:35:19] Speaker B: Well, who knows? Two bachelor gentlemen. She's a woman of the world.
[00:35:24] Speaker C: Presumably she spends a lot of time with Alfred.
Yeah.
[00:35:31] Speaker B: You know, my grandmother, Mrs. White, she was like the actress who played Aunt Harriet on Madge Blake.
And one time my grandmother saw Pee Wee Herman on television and she said, well, in my day, we would have called him a sissy.
[00:35:55] Speaker C: Oh, my.
[00:35:55] Speaker B: All right. It's a good thing that Alfred had his umbrella with him, because it was a very rainy and windy day, and he's putting away his umbrella, and Batman says, say, Alfred, that umbrella of yours gives me an idea. You may come in useful in our next try for the Penguin.
So they're already in the process of building Bat Rellas.
Did he not have an idea about fighting the Penguin until he saw Alfred's umbrella?
[00:36:26] Speaker C: I thought the same thing. I read that panel and I went, wait, wait, wait, didn't I? And I just looked up at the top of the page, what are they doing with those umbrellas? And why does it give him an idea? And what the hell?
[00:36:35] Speaker B: Who wrote this anyway? Far from the Batcave, elation surges through the pouter pigeon chest of the Birdman Bandit. As he holds up a handful of his loot, he's praising his robot rellas as the perfect thieves.
[00:36:52] Speaker C: I love that he said, I'm a genius, genius A genius is genius which remind me of that. Manchester, England. England Far across the Atlantic Sea and.
[00:37:04] Speaker A: I am a genius, genius and I believe in.
[00:37:07] Speaker C: It's when the flesh fails. Is it called the flesh? The flesh something. It's from hair.
[00:37:13] Speaker B: Oh, I'm the flesh. I don't. It's. It's been a while since I've seen that.
[00:37:20] Speaker C: Okay, show.
[00:37:22] Speaker B: Ordinarily, Peng would never repeat the same method of committing a crime. But this method of robot Rellis is so spectacular, so safe, that he's going to make an exception in this case for the Dynamic Duo's benefit.
[00:37:34] Speaker C: Oh, I didn't tell you something.
[00:37:36] Speaker B: What?
[00:37:37] Speaker C: Well, you know, in this, when we only had a third of the students auditioned that we expected to audition for the show.
[00:37:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:43] Speaker C: I and my colleagues went through very, very quickly. I mean, like something that normally takes us hours to do. We went through and shot through shows and just like quickly. Like we all had our computers open and we're doing all these things quickly, trying to figure out the cast size and what needs.
And one of the shows that I thought of to do was Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which is a show that I love, which I've never seen live. I've always seen the film.
Did you know that Hedwig and the Angry Inch, the stage version is just Hedwig and the band.
It's would have assumed that. No, it's just Hedwig doing a standup show. A band, like a gig at a TGI Fridays.
Hedwig is booked out. She's booked out the concert to follow Johnny Nasus around. Tommy. Sorry. Tommy Nasis around because he stole her music and she books all these concerts right next to his major vent venues. And we're sitting in on a concert of hers in some TGI Fridays that she's doing and telling the story of who she is. It's all just one person in a band. I had no idea. I had no idea.
[00:38:49] Speaker B: I thought neither, but it makes sense.
[00:38:51] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:38:51] Speaker C: Well, now I want to see it.
[00:38:53] Speaker B: Well, it's not too late to change the show.
[00:38:56] Speaker C: Well, the thing is, it's. It's just a band and it's four people in a band and Hedwig. So it's five people. And all the characters in the band have to play the instruments.
[00:39:06] Speaker B: Sure. Well, we've got an instrumental program at school.
[00:39:10] Speaker C: Anyway, I just thought, you know how much I love that. I love that musical. And I had no idea that because I've never seen it live. And I never read the actual, like, production needs for the show. Never realized it was just one person.
[00:39:22] Speaker B: Well, now you know for next year.
That robot penguin is still around, lighting Penguin's cigarette and whatnot and giving Penguin compliments.
It's like a Donald Trump cabinet meeting.
You're the most superlative scalawag of all time.
You're absolutely tops. Penguin, the acme of ability. The prince of plunderers. The king of knaves.
Precisely one week later, there they are.
[00:39:55] Speaker A: This time as bank bandits release the Bat Rellas.
[00:39:59] Speaker C: Oh, Bat Rellas? Bat Rellas.
[00:40:03] Speaker B: Like interceptor missiles. The Bat Rellas pop out of They've been in the Batmobile's engine block. Apparently not even a secret compartment. Just right under the hood.
From their sky high vantage point, the Bat Rellas send out electronic beeps to the Batmobile below.
And many miles outside Gotham City, the robot Rellas drop down onto an empty field and deposit their loot. Yeah, and where loot is, can the Penguin be far behind?
[00:40:34] Speaker C: Well, in his underground hideaway, the bumbershoot buccaneer gloats with evil satisfaction, watching from a Lexaphone. Yes, above the vantage point where the money was dropped. And Batman and Robin just pulled up in the car. And he says, no, Batman, I am.
[00:40:48] Speaker A: Close by ready to turn my fighting forces into Dynamic Duo death dealers.
[00:40:54] Speaker B: All right, here comes an umbrella attack headed in the way of Batman and Robin, which may be the toughest fight of their lives.
[00:41:02] Speaker C: So two team up against Robin. One has a mace.
[00:41:05] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:41:06] Speaker C: And the other one is just a mean umbrella.
[00:41:09] Speaker B: It's just a show stopping, neck grabbing umbrella.
[00:41:12] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:41:13] Speaker B: Meanwhile, the masked Manhunter himself is hard beset by an umbrella with a ram's head.
[00:41:21] Speaker C: And then one with a sword.
[00:41:22] Speaker B: One with a sword.
He manages to kick the ram's head up to block the sword.
[00:41:31] Speaker C: And he does a Rockette style high kick.
[00:41:33] Speaker B: Yes, he does.
And he orders Robin to find the shields.
Where are they gonna get shields from?
[00:41:43] Speaker C: Well, it's one.
[00:41:44] Speaker B: One caps the hubcaps of the Batmobile.
[00:41:48] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:41:49] Speaker B: They're enough to fend off the sword. Robin's fighting off a buzz sawella.
They've got to get past these umbrellas in order to get to the Penguin.
And they decide to turn the umbrellas against one another.
So Robin's going after an axe.
Umbrella. He's got a wooden stick. I don't think that's gonna work.
Axes are famously known for chopping up wood.
So intent are they on their desperate struggle for survival that they fail to see two net brellas swooping down upon them.
[00:42:31] Speaker C: Which pick them up and carry them away.
[00:42:35] Speaker B: Yes. They don't drop the net down on top of them. They actually switch, scoop them up like a flying hammock and fly off twisted inside the netting of metallic cables. The trap. Dynamic Duo is flown to the Penguin's nest where he vows they are going to pay the penalty. Long overdue them gripping the net strands. The terrific twosome, however, swings them together so that the umbrellas that they're connected to are driven forward into the wicked waddler.
And it frees them from the net's grasp.
[00:43:15] Speaker C: It does.
But then what happens with the Penguin.
[00:43:20] Speaker B: The Penguin. He flies up into the air.
[00:43:22] Speaker C: He flies?
[00:43:23] Speaker B: Not even real penguins can fly. You silly goose.
[00:43:27] Speaker C: He's completely mastered gravity. He's no longer earthbound. He orders them to surrender before him, using his futuristic abilities to destroy him both. And then the furniture starts flying around.
[00:43:38] Speaker B: He does a full on poltergeist flying the furniture around.
Oh, Robin, give it up with the puns. As chairman, I vote that we table this discussion until Penguin takes the floor. Batman.
[00:43:55] Speaker C: Murder the earth.
[00:43:57] Speaker B: Then as Robin throws a chair at the Penguin, they discover it's the robot Penguin.
[00:44:04] Speaker C: The robot Penguin.
[00:44:05] Speaker B: They've been tricked again.
[00:44:07] Speaker C: Well, my goodness. As we knew, Bat Penguin had no gravity control nor mind over matter ability. He worked those tricks by kindly planted magnauts.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: I never knew they did it all with magnets.
Robin's got to wonder where the real Penguin is. But as they give up the search and return to the Batmobile, what do they find but the captured Penguin and Alfred.
Alfred captured the Penguin?
[00:44:41] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:44:42] Speaker B: It turns out this is all planned by Batman.
Which paid off when Batman left Alfred hidden in the Batmobile trunk. That's why the umbrellas weren't in the trunk. It had to be in the engine because Alfred was in the trunk.
And I saw you get netted and carried off. I almost gave chase. Sorry, I should be doing a British accent. But you had told me to watch the loot.
So in due time. When I saw the ground opening and the lute dropped down into it, I leaped after it.
I rained down on the Penguin long with his stolen manning.
[00:45:17] Speaker A: Egad, watch this. I've caught a butler along with my banknotes.
[00:45:20] Speaker B: Before the foul bandit could move against me, I bashed him with my trusty umbrella. Or as we called it in England, a brawley.
[00:45:30] Speaker C: Evidently, Robin says evidently he had two underground hideouts.
[00:45:35] Speaker A: One from which he controlled his umbrellas and his robot other self. The other where he was brought.
[00:45:41] Speaker B: I imagine he equipped his robots with television cameras to see and hear what was going on so he could utilize them most effectively.
Well, Penguin's flyer has led him back to prison.
[00:45:55] Speaker C: Somewhat later in the Bumbershoot Bandit cell.
[00:45:58] Speaker B: You won't handle an umbrella for a long while in there, Penguin.
[00:46:03] Speaker C: Are you the Penguin? It's a great honor to be your.
[00:46:07] Speaker B: Cellmate indeed, my good man. Yes, I rather imagine it is. What is your name?
[00:46:14] Speaker C: Brawly.
[00:46:15] Speaker B: Brawly? Why, that's the English slang word for an umbrella, as we just learned on the Alfred.
[00:46:25] Speaker A: So Batman and Robin think I can't come in contact with an umbrella in here, do they? Well, this Brawly character is an umbrella that will prove of an inestimable aid in enabling me to escape from this nefarious nest of penal serv.
[00:46:49] Speaker B: The end.
[00:46:49] Speaker C: The end.
[00:46:50] Speaker B: Gee, I wonder if we'll ever see this Brawley character again.
[00:46:54] Speaker C: Will we?
[00:46:56] Speaker B: Let me check my database.
No.
No further appearances.
[00:47:07] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:47:08] Speaker B: All right, I'm.
I'll give this a C minus.
[00:47:15] Speaker C: Yeah, that's not such a good thing.
Not such a good.
[00:47:20] Speaker B: I expect more from Gardner Fox, don't we? Something more actual science.
Sure.
Maybe it was a ghostwriter writing under his name or something.
No, I don't know. We'll probably never know.
Anything to add?
[00:47:37] Speaker C: No. I think we've done enough harm, don't you?
[00:47:39] Speaker B: I should say so.
[00:47:40] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:47:41] Speaker B: You can find us on social media at GoGoCheckPod. You can listen to us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra, which is Nerdorchestra on Instagram. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcast. And you can find us right back here next week with the long awaited finale of the 18 part Doom Patrol story we've been following for the past five years.
[00:48:04] Speaker C: Oh, are they a DC character called the Doom Patrol? I'm kidding.
[00:48:08] Speaker B: Oh, yes.
Oh, wait, that's all.
Byeeeee.
[00:48:16] Speaker D: You don't have to be a politician? You can change it all with a sin and disposition? So be heavy and spread it all around?
If you find yourself a frownin' just turn it upside down?
When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray.
You gotta turn on the sunshine?
You gotta give in one time?
You gotta turn on the sunshine. Push those blues away.
Man, this dialectic's too much.
