Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it?
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there.
Everybody everywhere. Hang on.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: Hang on. Hang on.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: Welcome to Checkered Past. A loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967.
I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, inferior 5 Number 1. Cover date, March, April 1967. Cover price, $0.12. Cover artists Mike Zukowski and Mike Esposito. Edited by Jack Miller. Featuring five characters in search of a plot. Written by Enels and Bridwell. Art. Art by Mike Zukowski and Mike Esposito. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go.
[00:01:03] Speaker C: If you're walking in the shadows.
Then it's time that you get wise.
Just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes.
When you wear a smile the world will shout Hooray.
You gotta turn on the sunshine. You gotta push the blues away.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: The Inferior 5 is summoned by the organization known as Cousin Fred to battle Hurricane, an international crime syndicate. Confused? Don't worry. I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything.
[00:01:45] Speaker A: We'll consider any friend. We'll be loyal to the end.
[00:01:49] Speaker C: We'll be five for all forever.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: We'll be five for all forever.
[00:01:53] Speaker C: We'll be fine for all forever.
From now on.
[00:02:04] Speaker B: Sorry. Sorry, everybody.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: What?
[00:02:07] Speaker B: Well, I've had several concerned inquiries about our whereabouts. Because, of course, I didn't realize we'd be gone for two weeks.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: No, we've been.
[00:02:16] Speaker B: Time got away from us.
[00:02:17] Speaker A: We've been terribly busy, haven't we?
[00:02:19] Speaker B: Well, some of it was for fun. Yes.
[00:02:22] Speaker A: I mean, also, being busy could mean fun. And that's exactly what we were doing. We went to a family wedding. Yes, out in Colorado.
[00:02:29] Speaker B: Canyon City.
[00:02:31] Speaker A: Yeah, Canyon City.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: I think it's pronounced can Yawn.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:02:38] Speaker B: Anyway.
[00:02:39] Speaker A: And that was fun, wasn't it?
[00:02:41] Speaker B: It was, yeah.
[00:02:42] Speaker A: God, it was good to see family.
And we danced and we sat down mostly.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: You danced? I danced a little bit. Because I don't like to show everybody up.
[00:02:54] Speaker A: What else? So we went to the river. What's the. The Great.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Royal Gorge.
Don't pay for it. It's a waste of money.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: Waste of money? Yeah. I was going to do the ziplining across the gorge.
[00:03:08] Speaker B: Well, it was too windy. They closed it up.
[00:03:10] Speaker A: Closed it Down. And the gondola.
[00:03:11] Speaker B: And the gondola. And so Basically, you pay $30 to walk across a bridge you could see the gorge from without going into the facility to pay for it. Yeah, yeah. Or you know what? Just buy postcard.
One gorge of seeing them all.
[00:03:27] Speaker A: We had a good time, and then I went from there. You flew home And I went to Milwaukee for a conference.
[00:03:32] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: And I had a great time there. It was very, very instructive and affirming. And I went to the Harley Davidson Museum in Milwaukee, which was a blast for me.
[00:03:44] Speaker B: Yes.
Did you go to the set of Laverne and Shirley?
[00:03:48] Speaker A: No, no. But I did go out to some restaurants in the area. I really. It's my first time.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Did you go to Laverne's father's Del Fazio's Pizzeria?
[00:03:56] Speaker A: No.
[00:03:57] Speaker B: No, I didn't. Well, you missed a lot of opportunities.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: I guess I did. I walked everywhere, though. Every day. I walked at least two miles a day.
[00:04:04] Speaker B: Did you see the Big Ragu?
No.
[00:04:08] Speaker A: I didn't see anything related to Laverne and Shirley.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: Okay, fine. I mean, I guess if you want to waste your whole vacation, the Schlitz.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: Or the Pabst Brewery is there. I'm not sure which. I didn't go to a brewery because I was in conference sessions during the time that the breweries were open. But I had a wonderful time walking around and really like Milwaukee.
[00:04:28] Speaker B: Wouldn't you marry it if you like it so much?
[00:04:32] Speaker A: Right. So then I came home on Friday.
[00:04:36] Speaker B: Humor, table of one.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: I'm just going to watch our neighbor mow in circles.
[00:04:43] Speaker B: Well, I think she's trying to mulch the leaves, but it's very windy today, and so the leaves are just coming back up on her.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: I know, but bless her heart.
So I came home on Friday.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: Right.
[00:04:56] Speaker A: And it's been delightful being back home. I was gone for a whole week, and seeing that, the dogs went nuts.
[00:05:03] Speaker B: When I came home.
Yes.
Well, they. In fairness, they do that every time you walk in the door, no matter if you've been gone five minutes or five weeks.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: Yeah. So it was nice to come home to them.
[00:05:18] Speaker B: And now we're home.
[00:05:19] Speaker A: For a while, at least. Well. Well, I am.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: You are.
But this. I've gotten wise. What we're gonna pre record.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: For the first time in our lives.
[00:05:31] Speaker A: The end of the month.
[00:05:32] Speaker B: I have a performance gig, don't I? In Helena, Montana.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
[00:05:37] Speaker B: So if you're gonna be in the area, DM me and I'll give you all the deets.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: Yeah, and I won't be going, unfortunately. No, I love to go to Montana.
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: Well, next time.
[00:05:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I would.
[00:05:50] Speaker B: Last year.
We've got a special treat today though.
Do you know Inferior 5 number one?
We did follow or rather present the Inferior 5's three issue tryout and showcase comics. Would you like to guess when that was?
Mm, go on.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: 1993.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: No, talked about it when we talked about it. You're very close though.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: Let's see how long we've been doing this.
[00:06:24] Speaker B: Ten years?
Not quite.
[00:06:28] Speaker A: I don't. 2020.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: Episode 76. December 1st, 2019.
Wow.
Pre Covid.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: Pre Covid.
[00:06:40] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So episode 76. So we must have. I believe we started in 2018 in the spring.
[00:06:50] Speaker A: Well, we were living in the other house.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: Living in the other house. Recording in the back bedroom.
What exciting days.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: And now here we are in our own dedicated studio space.
Also a spare bedroom, but yes, but.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: Still it's a studio space.
[00:07:07] Speaker B: Studio space where you play your music.
[00:07:10] Speaker A: Yeah. And we have a piano and a guitar.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: I've got shelving for my toys, including my new custom Comet the super wars action figure which I made the costume for.
[00:07:23] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:07:24] Speaker B: And yeah, so life's pretty swell.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: I took the Doms for a walk this morning and it was absolutely beautiful. I watched the sun come up.
[00:07:34] Speaker B: It was great.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: And then this came through this window.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:38] Speaker A: Is this a remnants of some sort?
[00:07:40] Speaker B: I don't know what's happening, but I can tell you there's no sunrise so beautiful that I need to be awake to see it.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: I had no choice. Oh, why I could not. I got up at 6, 5, 45 or something this morning.
Could not go to sleep. Tossed and turned. I was like, oh, I know I can go to sleep. I know I can go to sleep. And then I was tossing and turning because I know what you're gonna think. You're gonna think like, oh, here he goes. But you turned.
And I was like, ugh, I can't.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: I can't.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: Not anymore. I had tossed and turned probably five times, just trying to find the right, you know, drift off to sleep. Couldn't do it, couldn't do it. And then u turn. I was like, just get up. I'll take a nap later on.
[00:08:26] Speaker B: Which I did.
If you take my advice, when that happens, you just lay still like a corpse and don't move.
Refuse to give in to the tossing and turning and eventually you'll go to sleep. Or not, but at least you'll have several hours of lying still and not moving.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: Lying still.
[00:08:48] Speaker B: Speaking of lying still. Or should I say the opposite?
[00:08:51] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: Inferior Five, number One.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:54] Speaker B: Okay. They graduated from Showcase to their own title. And who else did that?
Green Lantern.
[00:09:02] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: The Atom.
The Flash. Famously, Sea Devils, I believe. Rip Hunter, Time Master.
That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Aquaman.
Metamorpho. No, Metamorpho is Brave and the Bold.
Yeah, I think that's it for now. Okay, so as you recall, the Inferior Five are the bumbling children of the Freedom Brigade who fought crime in the 1940s.
Did you remember that?
[00:09:48] Speaker A: No.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: Okay, well, it does come into play, this issue because several of them mention their parents.
Yes.
Shall we?
Yes.
[00:10:02] Speaker A: I was wondering if we've reached the end of your research.
[00:10:05] Speaker B: Oh, no, my friend. I've got a whole page of notes because I had to pick out. There's very many pop culture references in this issue. Oh, are there?
[00:10:18] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:10:19] Speaker B: Maybe you'll enjoy it more once I explain everything. Okay, all the inside jokes. The Inferior Five roll.
Merry Man Merryman, the Man from Chief Dumb Bunny, the Girl from Shape, the Blimp, the man from Flight, White Feather, the Man from Archer. And Awkward man, the man from Power. Of course, these are all acronymic fake organizations, because that was all the rage to have acronymic, acronymic organizations. Yes.
Okay, buddies, you did it.
You went out and greedily snapped up so many copies of Inferior 5 and showcased that DC decided to cast the Inept Avengers in their own mag.
That's short for magazine. So here it is.
[00:11:09] Speaker A: Oh, is it your first pop culture reference?
[00:11:11] Speaker B: Yes.
So here it is, and we hope you're satisfied.
Dr. Husband was not satisfied. Now read and suffer. While you muddle through this sickening story, we Five characters in search of a plot.
Written by E. Nelson Bridwell, pencils by Mike Zukowski, inks by Mike Esposito, and lettered by Joe letorese. I think that must be an act, not an acronym.
[00:11:41] Speaker A: What am I saying?
[00:11:42] Speaker B: Pseudonym Must be Joe Letter Eez.
Although, I don't know. I'll look it up.
All right, we open the story with black and white images of the superhero Wonderfella.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: This was clever.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Turns out that's just a comic character that is being drawn by Myron Victor, comic book artist, who is secretly Merriman.
So his uncle is visiting him? No, his granddad is visiting him. Granddad? Victor. Read Victor.
And suddenly, within Myron's file cabinet, the lukewarm line rings.
It's Chief Geronimo.
He Thinks. But it isn't. It's not police headquarters at all.
It's Cousin Fred.
Now, Myron apparently does have a actual Cousin Fred, but this isn't his actual Cousin Fred. This is the acronymed organization, Competent Organization.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: Utilizing scientific investigation for national fiend, ruffian and evildoer defense.
[00:12:59] Speaker B: Cousin Fred is ordering the Inferior 5 to get over to 8th Avenue and 54th Street. Of course, this is in Megalopolis, the city where they lived.
It's a newsstand, which is the secret cover for Cousin Fred's headquarters.
So Myron strips down into his Merriman gear and Granddad Victor offers to give him a ride. Because it turns out Rob, Granddad Victor was a masked crime fighter 40 years ago.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: My goodness.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: His Oriental driver. Sorry. That's what they wrote his driver, Plato. And he really burned up the road in their car. The Gold Bug looks like a Model T. It does look like a Model T. In fact, as it turns out, Plato had driven him there.
It was the fastest thing on wheels in 1925.
And granddad Victor puts on his costume, Turns out he was the yellow jacket, and he's about to ride again. Ride again.
Did you get this reference?
[00:14:14] Speaker A: No.
[00:14:16] Speaker B: What?
Well, this is reference to the Green Hornet and Kato, his Asian driver who had a television show at this same time contemporaneously with the Batman 16, 1966 cartoon series Television show starred Van Williams Brow and Bruce Lee. Oh, that's where Bruce Lee got his star.
[00:14:40] Speaker A: Really?
[00:14:41] Speaker B: Mm.
I can't remember what the name of their car was, though. I'm gonna look it up right quick because.
Well, why can't they just put that first thing? The Black Beauty. Okay, so the Gold Bug, of course, reference to that. So there you go. That's your first pop culture reference.
[00:15:13] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:15:13] Speaker B: Also, did you know that the Green Hornet was the grand nephew of the Lone Ranger? No, I did not know that. It's true. Wow. Yeah.
All right.
[00:15:25] Speaker A: Never seen the Green Hornet.
[00:15:27] Speaker B: You haven't?
[00:15:28] Speaker A: I know what the show is. I just don't think I've ever seen it. Or if I have, I might be seeing an episode.
[00:15:33] Speaker B: I don't know that it's ever been commercially released on dvd. Of course I have it, because I make it my business to have those sorts of things. But they did have a crossover episode with Batman, which is on home video.
I need to have that Betamax Blu ray.
Of course I have it.
[00:15:57] Speaker A: Laserdisc.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: No.
Nope. They had such terrible delay because of the music rights.
There was some question of whether it would ever be released.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: Really?
[00:16:10] Speaker B: Yes, Adam west recorded commentary just on his own because he thought he would die before it ever came to home video. You're kidding. No, I'm not kidding. But it's out now in glorious color. Okay. And if you buy the Blu Ray set, you get a digital code and then you can just have it on your TV whenever you want.
[00:16:31] Speaker A: Oh, is this what you're getting soon?
[00:16:34] Speaker B: I've had it for years. I believe you got it for me for Christmas.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: It's hard to remember.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: All right, let's.
[00:16:40] Speaker A: I buy you so many treasures.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: I know.
Let's look in now on model Athena Tremor, who's secretly dumb bunny.
She's being painted by a creep.
[00:16:54] Speaker A: He looks like Jack Black.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: He looks like. Yes, Jack Black. If Jack Black was a giant creep, we know he's not because he's friends with my sister.
So this guy can't paint, but he.
[00:17:08] Speaker A: No, I mean he looks like a caricature. Like a jack.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: Right.
He can't paint, but he's lured pretty models into his bohemian loft apartment to try and make time with them.
Luckily, Athena's lukewarm line is in her bag and it goes off and she finds it and in the process of finding it, accidentally elbows this creep at the face and knocks him out. That's good, right?
[00:17:37] Speaker A: She had a lot of things in her purse.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Yeah. A Cambridge dictionary, alarm clock, shoe. Shoe makeup, of course, because she's a girl.
Minutes later, she's in her dumb bunny uniform and racing down the street towards that newsstand.
Now back to Merriman, who's chugging down the street in the Gold Bug. This is an on recurring gag that it's so slow the traffic coming by.
Now let's look at on someone else who's having trouble with models. Photographer Will King, secretly White Feather, secretly gay.
Yeah, probably. Well, it's played that he's afraid of girls. He is. That's his gimmick, that he's afraid of everything.
That's why his name is White Feather. But yeah. These girls are trying to make time with him, going so far as to tear his clothes off. And he is a rather handsome fellow.
[00:18:37] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Cleft chin, wavy brown hair, can wear horizontal stripes, but yeah.
Were you ever terrified of girls? No. Oh, well, I was a little bit.
Particularly if they'd try to rip my clothes off.
[00:18:57] Speaker A: Well, I never had that problem.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: Luckily, he gets Colin lukewarm line which is hidden inside his camera, and he agrees to meet at the newsstand.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't realize the camera, the lukewarm line was inside his Camera?
[00:19:13] Speaker B: I just. Yes.
[00:19:14] Speaker A: I thought that was in a drawer or something.
[00:19:15] Speaker B: I see.
All right, let's join. Now, Herman Kramer, proprietor of Herman's Diner who's there with his girlfriend, Mabel. I don't know how he got this girl.
[00:19:26] Speaker A: I don't either. He must be very funny.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: Because not only is he portly, not that there's anything wrong with that, but he's got a terrible haircut.
[00:19:37] Speaker A: Terrible haircut. And she looks like a supermodel.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: She does. Tall and statuesque. She's wearing a fur coat. Diamond earrings.
All right. She, Mabel, apparently, has ordered him to be on a diet. She's monitoring every bite that goes into his mouth. That's not proper behavior for a partner.
But apparently he feels like she's worth it. I don't know what she's bringing to the table, but it must be. Maybe she's funny too.
[00:20:06] Speaker A: I think she's got some very obvious assets.
[00:20:11] Speaker B: Now, his lukewarm line is hidden inside.
[00:20:13] Speaker A: The refrigerator next to the chicken and the ham.
[00:20:16] Speaker B: Yes.
He goes to answer it, and just then, Mabel sees him with his hands in the fridge. He wasn't eating. He was sticking to his diet.
[00:20:24] Speaker A: But she says, that's it. I'm out of here.
[00:20:26] Speaker B: Good riddance.
Now, of course, he can't explain that he is secretly the blimp.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: Does he fly? Because he's full of gas?
[00:20:38] Speaker B: He doesn't fly, per se. He just kind of floats. He flies the way I fly in my dreams. Which is I have to run really fast and then launch myself off the ground. And then I just float slowly for a few feet.
[00:20:54] Speaker A: Does he have a special power? A belt or something? His powers aren't explained.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: He is the son of.
Hang on.
Gotta look this up again. I did actually make notes.
I did too, but you caught me off guard.
[00:21:14] Speaker A: Here are my notes.
[00:21:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: The Inferior Five cast includes Merriman, Dumb Bunny, the Blimp, White Feather and Awkwardman.
That's all my notes.
Just so I could remember who they were.
[00:21:25] Speaker B: Okay. Right.
Yes. I believe he's the son of Captain Swift, who had super speed.
Yes. He's the son of Captain Swift. Okay. And he can float.
Okay. Like a blimp. Okay.
All right. Merriman and Yellowjacket are still fighting midtown traffic.
Meanwhile, in the beaches near Megalopolis, there's Aquaman.
[00:22:03] Speaker A: Aquwardman. He's the son of Mr. Mite.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: He's the son of Mr. Mite and the Mermaid.
So he is not only super strong, but he also can swim.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Oh, he's super strong.
[00:22:17] Speaker B: He's super strong. Yes, but also awkward because he wears scuba flippers as part of his costume for the swimming, you know.
Now he's a magazine writer. He's been assigned to write an article on Mr. Might, not knowing that he. He himself is Mr. Mite's son.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: He doesn't know.
[00:22:40] Speaker B: The editor doesn't know Mr. Mite. He knows that he's the son of Mr. Mite.
The editor that assigned him the story doesn't know.
[00:22:48] Speaker A: Oh, I see.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: Okay, then we get a little recap of Mr. Mite's Origin play on the.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: Origin story of Clark Kent.
[00:22:55] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:22:56] Speaker B: Mr. Mite was born Barbell on the planet Neon.
One day, his father, Dumb Bell Jor El, made a terrible discovery that the planet Neon was doomed Krypton. So Dumbbell resolved to save his baby son. He sent him to Earth.
You're really up on your Superman origin story.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:23:20] Speaker B: He sent his baby to Earth in a small rocket. But it turns out Neon never did explode. So it was all for naught because Granddad on Neon really was a crackpot.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: Ruth Posey.
[00:23:44] Speaker B: So Awkward Man's lukewarm line rings. It's hidden in the sand on the beach. He edges it, and off he goes as well, to the newsstand.
[00:23:53] Speaker A: So shortly after, after Leander switches to his Awkwardman identity, he boards a subway train to find the blimp. Dumb Bunny. White Feather.
[00:24:06] Speaker B: Very good. Yeah. Yes.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: They're all on a subway together.
[00:24:10] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:24:10] Speaker A: Okay. And of course, Merriman is still stuck in the Gold Bug.
[00:24:14] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:24:14] Speaker A: With his grandfather.
[00:24:16] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:24:16] Speaker A: Grandfather's name.
[00:24:18] Speaker B: Yellow Jacket.
[00:24:19] Speaker A: Yellow Jacket.
[00:24:21] Speaker B: They pull up to the newsstand on the corner of 8th and 52nd, or wherever it was. It turns out there's two newsstands and one is not the correct one. And everyone knows where the Cousin Fred headquarters is. Get it? It's not secret at all, because everyone knows.
So Merriman and Yellowjacket are invited inside the newsstand. They fall down a hole.
And that's how the Inferior Five's friends treat him. What can they expect from their enemies?
[00:24:53] Speaker A: Wait, wait.
Turn one across the street is a front for Cousin Fred. Lots of people get them mixed up.
Is this supposed to be funny?
[00:25:04] Speaker B: It's funny because it's supposed to be a secret spy organization. But the other newsstand, everyone knows that. It's what it is. That's the gag.
I don't think it's supposed to be ha, ha funny. Okay, all right, all right. Part two.
[00:25:22] Speaker A: I'm really trying not to be a jerk about this comic. I'm really Trying to enjoy it. It's just that some of this is just not even. I mean, some of this is just stupid.
[00:25:31] Speaker B: I mean.
[00:25:31] Speaker A: You know what I mean?
Some of it is somewhat amusing.
[00:25:36] Speaker B: Compare it to Jerry Lewis or Bob Hope. That might raise your estimation considerably.
[00:25:42] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, this is. No. What's that? Stupid witch.
[00:25:47] Speaker B: Witch hazel.
[00:25:47] Speaker A: Yeah, witch hazel.
[00:25:49] Speaker B: Ready for some more pop culture?
[00:25:50] Speaker A: Oh, hell, yes. Okay, now, here we go.
[00:25:56] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: Explain these caricatures to me. The old man, the Andy Warhol guy. I don't know who he is, and the other guy, because they're clearly meant to look like someone referenced in pop culture referencing someone in pop culture.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: I'm going to first ask you to think about popular television shows about spiderman of the 1960s, Get Smart, possibly remade as a movie in the 2000s, which we have covered on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra.
[00:26:30] Speaker A: Okay, so that would have been a Man From Uncle.
[00:26:34] Speaker B: Man from Uncle. Get it? Man from Uncle. Cousin Fred.
[00:26:38] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
[00:26:42] Speaker B: Cousin Fred is run by Mr. Ivanhoe, who was played by Leo G. Carroll.
I don't know why he's named Mr. Ivanhoe, because his character on Man From uncle is Alexander Waverly. But this does look exactly like Leo G. Carroll. If you saw a picture of the actor, you'd know. Of course, the other characters on Man From Uncle.
Dang it.
I did have all this written down.
[00:27:16] Speaker A: I'm sorry. Really. I know. I trust you because you know I do. No prep for this, so you have to do the work.
[00:27:23] Speaker B: Man From UNCLE Secret agents were Napoleon Solo, played by Robert Vaughn. He's the brunette. So Caesar, single, and Ilya Kuryakin, played by David McCallum, who's the blonde, Caesar, single, and Quitiabelly Akin.
[00:27:38] Speaker A: That reminds me of those nasty names I make up for the.
[00:27:41] Speaker B: You love to make up fake Russian names.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: I do.
[00:27:46] Speaker B: So I thought. I can't think of one that I want to say right now.
Why not?
[00:27:52] Speaker A: Because they're all awful.
[00:27:54] Speaker B: Well, we have a language warning on.
[00:27:56] Speaker A: Itunes, so I make up Russian names for Russian supervillain. Like spies. Like Slow It On, Slap your Around.
[00:28:09] Speaker B: Huh?
[00:28:09] Speaker A: And Alexi cut your cock off.
[00:28:19] Speaker B: That's why you didn't get this man from uncle reference, because you're 12.
I knew right away my favorite one, Alexi Kuchakakov.
Now, I don't believe I've ever seen an episode man from U.N.C.L.E. but I knew right away that was Dave McCallum and Robert Vaughn.
All right.
The Cousin Fred organization desperately needs help against an international crime organization called Hurricane, which stands for heinous oh, my God.
Heinous, unscrupulous rats and rogues initiating criminal anarchy and nefarious evil.
[00:28:57] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:29:01] Speaker B: So what. What is this?
[00:29:04] Speaker A: So we get this thing. Okay, who's the character that has.
Okay, Mr. Ivan. No, not Mr. Ivanhoe. Quiche beliakin. Who's the guy with the gun?
[00:29:14] Speaker B: That's David McCallum.
[00:29:15] Speaker A: David McCallum? Yes. What's his character's name here?
[00:29:19] Speaker B: Quichebeliakin.
[00:29:20] Speaker A: Quichibeliagin. Okay.
What is he doing with his gun? Because as we go on in a couple pages, it's just growing and, like, it's got pipeworks coming out of it. I don't understand.
[00:29:33] Speaker B: Oh, no, you're talking about the brunette. Yeah, that's Napoleon solo or Caesar single.
[00:29:39] Speaker A: What is this about? Is that a gag that I don't.
[00:29:42] Speaker B: Just don't get?
[00:29:43] Speaker A: Like, why are the. Why did you notice it on that page that we're on right now? Yeah, he's got a pipe that he's either affixing to the gun or pulling out of the gun. I'm not quite sure. And then in a couple pages, you see an entire network of pipes which he later on trips over all around the gun.
I looked at that and said, what is that reference?
[00:30:04] Speaker B: Well, that's what one. Is he a sharpshooter? That's one I don't get because I say I've never seen an episode, man from U.N.C.L.E. so they might have had, like, secret spy stuff that they did with their guns or something.
[00:30:15] Speaker A: I'm sure they did.
[00:30:16] Speaker B: I'm sure someone will know and write me and tell me.
[00:30:19] Speaker A: Okay. All right, let's go on.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: All right, now we have slides showing the main Hurricane agents.
This is. We have Powerhouse, who's terrifically strong.
Missing fink. Wait, what?
[00:30:38] Speaker A: I get it.
[00:30:39] Speaker B: What?
[00:30:40] Speaker A: At the bottom of that page, part two, it says, I must apologize for Mr. Biliakin. He's been gun shy ever since a Hurricane agent shot off one of his ears.
[00:30:49] Speaker B: Yes, right. Yes.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: That's why he's affixing the pipes.
[00:30:56] Speaker B: No, that's not bellyachin. That's Caesar single. Well, then it's just stupid.
[00:31:00] Speaker A: All right, let's go back to. By the way, the center panel completely missed an opportunity to make a joke which would last many, many, many, many years.
The most cowardly of their agents and the fastest, the yellow streak. Notice how the yellow streak goes from his buttocks up his back.
[00:31:19] Speaker B: They should have called him the Brown Streak.
But this is a kids magazine.
[00:31:27] Speaker A: I know, but if they just had done it, it would have Been hilarious.
[00:31:31] Speaker B: Also, yellow streak down your back is a common.
I know, it's a coward language.
[00:31:36] Speaker A: Yeah, the brown streak.
[00:31:39] Speaker B: Well, maybe you can write your own comic. Wouldn't that be funny?
[00:31:43] Speaker A: No, nothing I write could be funny.
No, I'm not clever like you.
[00:31:48] Speaker B: Well, you can put all your Russian names in there. You could make it about Russia and whatnot.
All right. The powerhouse is terrifically strong and lazy. Apparently indolent missing fink who can make himself invisible because he had hay fevers. And the hurricane scientist tried to cure his hay fever and even transferred his mind into an Android body. He's the only Android with hay fever.
[00:32:17] Speaker A: Mr. Mental. He has ESP that's extra sensory perception and telekinetic powers, but is a bit absent minded.
Soon looks like a pinhead.
[00:32:28] Speaker B: Yes, the most cowardly of their agents, as we said. And the fastest is the yellow streak.
[00:32:35] Speaker A: Then there's Blackbird. He can fly, but he's also said to suffer from air sickness.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: And then we have Hurricane's non super specialists, Tabby Cats, scientist and inventor, Nitro Gleason Glycerin weapons and demolition expert and Crabgrass Wild escape artist.
Now this page took me a minute, But I asked ChatGPT and the reason it took me a minute is because the characters these are referencing have not lasted to the present day much.
These are reference to the Thunder Agents which stands for the higher United Nations Defense Enforcement Reserves which was a comic series being published contemporaneously with this issue. I believe this month was issue 11 of the original Thunder Agents.
[00:33:39] Speaker A: Against my better judgment, I really started to like this comic for all of its silly pop culture references. I really am, even though I don't know these things now I'm thinking, oh, this is actually very cleverly written.
[00:33:51] Speaker B: Well, it's E. Nelson Bridwell. I expect nothing less.
So the Thunder Agents were superpowered agents Dynamo, who's Powerhouse Lightning, who's the yellow streak?
No man, that's N O Hyphen man.
Who's the missing fink? No man also was a brain transferred into an Android body who could turn invisible.
Mentor is Mr. Mental, Raven, Blackbird and the three non super specialists, Kitten Kane, who's Tabby cats Dynamite, who's Nitroglycin and Weed Wily Crabgrass Wild.
[00:34:37] Speaker A: Oh, I forgot to tell you. So the very first day of my conference I attended a session. Yes, a pre conference session. A three hour session on leadership. Yes, it was very, very interesting.
One of the slides that the presenter showed was a fembot from Bionic Woman.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: I think it Was yes.
[00:35:02] Speaker A: And I raised my hand and I said, excuse me? He said, yes. I said, is that a fembot from Bionic Woman? And he said, oh, yes, very good.
I was the only person in the room that got it.
He was just going on Steel whatever. And it was appropriate to what he was saying. And I just raised my hand, excuse.
[00:35:20] Speaker B: Me, is that a fembot from Bionic Woman?
[00:35:25] Speaker A: And he laughed. And it was not an inappropriate thing for me to ask at the time. In the context, it was totally appropriate. It was a small group, eight of us. But I just wanted to say that.
[00:35:37] Speaker B: I'm very proud of you. Thank you. Since you're looking for Christmas gifts for me already, I'd love a fembot doll.
They're worth a mint on ebay. But from Bionic Woman or a mascotron from 6Mandela.man or Mask?
Mask Mascotron.
Or of course, an Oscar Goldman with the exploding briefcase. Those are. You don't have one of those? No, I wish.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: Oh, my God, I had one.
[00:36:08] Speaker B: So did I.
Back in the day.
They're a dime a dozen. You can get those anywhere.
All right, Wouldn't you know it, the missing fink happens to be in the room, invisible, and he sneezes because he's allergic to White Feather's feather, which.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: And they all say gesundheit to each other. And they realize, wait a second. If we all said gesundheit, we're not alone.
[00:36:35] Speaker B: There wasn't one of us that sneezed. We've been infiltrated.
By the missing fink.
[00:36:41] Speaker A: By the missing fink.
[00:36:42] Speaker B: Missy Fink trips over Awkward Man's scuba.
[00:36:46] Speaker A: Gear right into a pile of dust. A pile of dust.
[00:36:50] Speaker B: Yeah. So he starts sneezing again.
They follow the sneezes outside where Mr. Mental is waiting in the getaway car. See, this is the gag you see on that fence. It said, cousin Fred's this way.
[00:37:08] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:37:08] Speaker B: And then it says, cousin Fred's up one flight. Yeah.
All right. Mr. Mental does not remember the missing fink because he's got short term memory issues.
Anyway, Ms. Fink gets in the car, they take off.
[00:37:28] Speaker A: Nice car.
[00:37:29] Speaker B: Very nice car. But the Inferior Five is going to try to catch them in the Gold Bug.
That's not going to work out. Except that they have grappling hooks which shoot out the front.
[00:37:42] Speaker A: No other weapons?
[00:37:43] Speaker B: No other weapons. They can be towed by the escaping criminals.
Escaping criminals have all kinds of gadgets on their car. But it turns out all of the offensive weapons are at the front of the car.
Except for the smoke screen.
They fire that off, and Mr. Mental uses his telekinetic powers to blast the inferior five, knocking dumb bunny, Awkwardman and the blimp out of the car.
Right.
[00:38:18] Speaker A: Dumb Bunny grabs the blimp by a string and Aquabin by his cape and tries to catch up to the car. She does, doesn't she?
[00:38:26] Speaker B: She catches up to the car.
[00:38:27] Speaker A: No, she doesn't.
[00:38:28] Speaker B: She doesn't.
[00:38:28] Speaker A: The car's moving faster than they can, and they're being towed by the car that they're chasing, so they can't slow down.
[00:38:36] Speaker B: And then they send out some kind of boxing glove weapon out of the Gold bug and knocks Mr. Mental in the face.
Meanwhile, at hurricane headquarters, Tabby Katz is ordering Blackbird and Powerhouse into action.
This was a nice gag, which I just realized right now. Tabby Cats orders Powerhouse to use his belt because in Thunder Agents Dynamo had a belt. That's what gave him his strength.
But this is a swig of whiskey. That's the belt. Get it?
See, this is adult humor.
Yellow Streak runs out to hide.
Meanwhile, the other agents of evil and their pursuers reach the headquarters.
[00:39:33] Speaker A: Which are labeled headquarters.
[00:39:34] Speaker B: Which are labeled headquarters.
White Feather offers to jump into a phone booth to change into his civilian identity and get lost so he doesn't have to fight the crime. But turns out the Yellow Streak is already in the phone booth. Yeah, hiding. Yeah. See?
Powerhouse busts through the door of the phone booth, and I wonder what's gonna happen next.
We'll have to turn to page two. I did get a chuckle out of this one letter.
Dear Editor, a friend of mine had his vocal cords removed 47 years ago because of a war wound. When I gave him the latest issue of the inferior 5, he looked into my eyes and said, it stinks.
I don't know why that made me laugh.
Surely in hurricane headquarters, White Feather has been captured and tied up. They're trying to figure out what his secret identity is.
[00:40:41] Speaker A: They can't tell that that's his real face.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: Well, they can. That's the problem. He doesn't wear a mask and he's a nobody in real life.
So they try putting glasses on him to see if that works. No, they put a Batman mask. This is a little series of visual gags. Batman mask, Charlie Chaplin, George Washington, Robert Kennedy.
[00:41:01] Speaker A: Robert Kennedy.
[00:41:02] Speaker B: That's who that was.
I don't like to speak ill of the dead, but I always thought the Kennedys just looked like a bunch of horse faced freaks.
Teddy. Teddy was handsome, but Jack and Robert Kennedy, I didn't think they were people. Go crazy for him.
[00:41:21] Speaker A: Well, televisions were so much smaller back then.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: Even JFK Jr. I never thought he looked like much.
It's kind of odd looking.
[00:41:30] Speaker A: What?
[00:41:30] Speaker B: The Kennedy. The whole Kennedy family.
[00:41:32] Speaker A: Like a bunch of boxers boxed around like boxer dogs.
Like they've been. Like they've been beating up a lot of children. You know, like they took pledge.
[00:41:42] Speaker B: Well, you know, they all played football on the lawn up there in Kenny Bunkport.
[00:41:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Maybe they just, you know, grew up with. Maybe that's just scar tissue all over their face from years of playing football in the yard.
[00:41:53] Speaker B: Could be. Could be.
Just then, Merryman and Yellowjacket are also captured.
[00:42:04] Speaker A: They got a lot of rope, don't they?
[00:42:05] Speaker B: They also. Rope?
Yeah.
[00:42:08] Speaker A: Everybody's wrapped their upper torso with rope.
[00:42:10] Speaker B: Yeah, like the Michelin Man.
They don't care who Yellowjacket is. They're trying to find out Merryman's secret identity. Of course, he does not wear a mask either. He does wear glasses in his superhero identity, but that doesn't help anybody.
[00:42:24] Speaker A: I thought he wore glasses in his regular identity.
[00:42:26] Speaker B: Probably.
Soon. They are in a room surrounded by a moat which is electrified and filled with piranhas.
And there's a vat of acid suspended above them.
The acid in the vat.
Oh, and the vat is suspended by a rope which has a candle burning under it. So this is what's his name? Nitro Gleason, who's concocted this trap. The acid might get them when the candle burns through the rope. Unless the dynamite goes off first.
If they get loose, they can't leave the island because you'd break the electric I beam, sending a million volts of electricity through the water. And if you get past the beams, you'll be eaten by scores of hungry piranhas.
Well, Merryman's got a plan.
It turns out he's smart after all.
[00:43:24] Speaker A: Yes.
He uses the candle to burn through his ropes.
[00:43:28] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:43:29] Speaker A: Frees himself.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: Throws the dynamite into the moat, setting off the charge. And electrocuting the piranhas.
[00:43:37] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:43:38] Speaker A: And disabling the electric eye beams. And so they can just walk right out.
[00:43:45] Speaker B: Merryman is, like, skinny, fat.
Do you know what I mean?
[00:43:51] Speaker A: Like me.
No.
[00:43:53] Speaker B: He's much thinner than you.
He's very thin, but has love handles somehow. And thick thighs.
Meanwhile, Dumb bunny awkward men in the blimp are arriving on the scene, only to be met by tabby cats and her fellows.
[00:44:20] Speaker A: Well done.
[00:44:22] Speaker B: The Raven tries to attack the blimp, but the blimp punches with the face.
Done.
[00:44:27] Speaker A: I thought the Raven was Gonna throw up.
[00:44:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Because he's apparently afraid of heights or something.
[00:44:32] Speaker A: Yeah. He's nauseous.
[00:44:33] Speaker B: He gets.
[00:44:33] Speaker A: He gets air sickness.
[00:44:37] Speaker B: Meanwhile, Merryman and Yellowjacket and White Feather bust out the door. They've escaped the trap, and Merryman tackles Powerhouse. His power has run out. Apparently, the belt didn't last forever.
[00:44:53] Speaker A: No.
[00:44:57] Speaker B: What's his name? Missing Fink starts sneezing because he's allergic to crabgrass.
It turns out that's only Crabgrass's name. He's not really made of crabgrass.
[00:45:10] Speaker A: Psychosomatic.
Which is what they actually say. He says, it's only my name.
[00:45:16] Speaker B: You're trouble.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: Could your trouble be psychosomatic?
[00:45:18] Speaker B: Yeah. See? Would a child comic use a big word like that? Rob, this is meant for adults.
[00:45:24] Speaker A: Clearly.
[00:45:27] Speaker B: A big fight ensues.
Now, I thought you'd like this gag.
Tabby Cats doesn't want to be clobbered, so she'll inflate this artificial plastic baby.
[00:45:39] Speaker A: I did like this gak, actually. She says to Dumb Bunny, you wouldn't hit a woman with a baby, would you? And she says, no, but I'd hit her with a grown man.
[00:45:49] Speaker B: This is so clever. She picks up a grown man, a.
[00:45:52] Speaker A: Grown man and hits her.
Oh, that's clever.
[00:45:57] Speaker B: You love things with, like, dummies and inflatable thing.
[00:46:01] Speaker A: If you ever see us. If I ever see a stage show where a dummy falls, like, I love that stage show of Amelia.
[00:46:10] Speaker B: No, no.
[00:46:10] Speaker A: What's that? Matilda, Tilda. Oh, my God. Where they pick up the. The dummy and they. And. But when.
What's the trunch.
[00:46:19] Speaker B: Ms. Trunchbull.
[00:46:20] Speaker A: Ms. Trunchbull.
[00:46:21] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:46:21] Speaker A: Picks up the dummy by the pigtails and spins it around and throws it off the stage.
God. God, I love that so much. I love any sort of gag in a stage show that has a dummy falling down. I think it's so silly and clever and.
Yes. If I could program that into any show. Why haven't I not done that? I've directed so many shows. Why have I not programmed just a.
[00:46:44] Speaker B: Have you not the script?
[00:46:46] Speaker A: I suppose, but. Whoa. Just a pratfall.
[00:46:48] Speaker B: Just like.
[00:46:49] Speaker A: Just a dummy falling.
[00:46:51] Speaker B: Have you not. No, I'm sure you have.
[00:46:53] Speaker A: I don't think I have. Well, why not?
[00:46:56] Speaker B: Why don't you write a show about funny named Russians?
And, you know, Russians are always falling out windows. You could use dummies there.
It practically writes itself.
Well, here comes the police to capture the hurricane agents and also tow their car away, which is still grappled to the Gold Bug.
So it's being towed as well.
Meanwhile, at police headquarters, the Inferior Five are being congratulated on their capture of the crooks. That turns out Tabby cats was the secret leader of Hurricane, which Merryman suspected because she was giving all the orders.
But luckily, Missing Fink's hay fever has been cured due to being punched in the face. I wish it was that easy to cure allergies.
[00:47:59] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
[00:48:03] Speaker B: All right.
Incredible as it seems, the Inferior Five is won again.
And later, in the studio of William King.
[00:48:13] Speaker A: Except that. Who escapes out of the jail.
[00:48:15] Speaker B: Crabgrass Wild, the world's greatest escape artist.
[00:48:18] Speaker A: He just walks right out. And Dumb Bunny sees him. She goes, hmm, where have I seen that fellow before?
[00:48:22] Speaker B: Well, that's why she's dumb.
William King's getting a call. His editor wants whom for the center spread of the magazine of Payboy magazine.
They call it that because it's 75 cents.
Yes. He thinks he can get the requested model. It turns out it's Dumb Bunny. And when that particular issue of Payboy comes out, those other models are none too happy about it.
[00:48:51] Speaker A: They're trying to find him. One's got a club in her hand, the other one's got a gun.
[00:48:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
So William King is hiding out in the top of a tree. Luckily, his friend the blimp can float and owns a restaurant, so delivers food up to the top of the tree.
The end.
[00:49:12] Speaker A: Will this continue?
[00:49:14] Speaker B: It will. As a matter of fact, we will have two more checkerboarded issues to enjoy.
I.
Let me look real quick.
There were in total 12 issues of.
[00:49:35] Speaker A: In Figure 5 before we get to them again.
[00:49:39] Speaker B: It'll be a while. Yes.
And as you may recall, this is kind of the shtick is that they parody other heroes. Because in the Showcase tryout we had parody of the Avengers, the X Men.
I forget who else. Fantastic Four, maybe next issue we're going to have some more parodies of Marvel characters.
I know you're looking forward to that. Yeah, sure.
So, yes, there were 12 issues of inferior five. I think the last couple were reprints from Showcase.
[00:50:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:22] Speaker B: But they did have, you know, original issues up to, I think issue 10 or so.
But only two more for us to enjoy with checkerboards we'll get to in about six. About six years.
[00:50:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:39] Speaker B: No, it's not going to be that. You're going to be so sad when we end this.
[00:50:43] Speaker A: You think so?
[00:50:44] Speaker B: We're on episode 307. I think.
Think we are only going up to about 410 episodes.
[00:50:51] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:50:52] Speaker B: Yeah, wow.
[00:50:53] Speaker A: Then what we do. We've spent eight years doing this.
[00:50:56] Speaker B: Well, we'll have to think of another topic to podcast on.
Maybe you can pick one.
Torture me for 10 years.
[00:51:04] Speaker A: Well, it'll be Green Lantern. Let's do all the Green Lantern comics.
[00:51:08] Speaker B: That would be no torture.
[00:51:09] Speaker A: No, it wouldn't, Would it?
[00:51:11] Speaker B: No. Also, it's been done, but. Oh, okay.
[00:51:13] Speaker A: Why don't reproduce something someone else has done?
[00:51:16] Speaker B: You can find us on social media, though, at GoGoCheckPod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra.
And you can find us back here next week, I promise.
You pick Plasticman or Metamorpho. Or both.
[00:51:37] Speaker A: Aren't we doing both?
[00:51:39] Speaker B: We could do both.
[00:51:39] Speaker A: Well, I mean, we don't get to do two episodes.
[00:51:42] Speaker B: Well, I'm saying we could do Plasticman and Metamorpho in a single episode and then do another episode also. Or we could do Plasticman or Metamorpho or both.
[00:51:53] Speaker A: We'll figure it out.
[00:51:54] Speaker B: It'll be something. But it will be next week for sure. For sure. Right.
Bye.
[00:52:04] Speaker C: Politician. You can change it all with a sun and disposition? So be heavy and spread it all around?
If you find yourself a frownin' just turn it upside down?
When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray.
You gotta turn on the sunshine?
You gotta give in one time?
You gotta turn on the sunshine. Push those blues away.
Man, this dialectic's too much.
