Falling All to Pieces (Metamorpho 11)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? [00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:01] Speaker A: Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on. [00:00:14] Speaker A: Hang on. [00:00:15] Speaker B: Hang on. [00:00:17] Speaker A: Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1960. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Metamorpho 11. Cover date March, April 1967. Cover price $0.12. Cover artists Sal Trapani and Charles Paris. Edited by George Cashton. Featuring they Came From Beyond. Written by Bob Haney. Art by Sol Trapani and Charles Paris. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:01] Speaker C: If you're walking in the shadows then it's time that you get wise. I just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes. When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You're gonna flush the blues. [00:01:29] Speaker A: Following his battle with Stingaree, Metamorpho brings the body of Element Girl back to Stagg's laboratory in hopes that Simon can revive her. Before they can begin work, Stagg receives a call from the president asking for help investigating a UFO. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with Dr. Husband to explain everything. Hey. Buckle down, win socky buckle down. You can win win socky win socky. If you knuckle down. If you break their necks. If you make them Rex, you can break the hexobuckle out. Make em yell. Win socky, make em yell. You can win win socky if you give em hell. If you don't give in. Take it on the chin. You are bound to win if you will only buckle down. What a week, huh? [00:02:22] Speaker B: Oh my goodness. I'll say. What was it like for you? [00:02:26] Speaker A: Well, let's see. I worked. [00:02:32] Speaker B: Yes, you're full time and part time. [00:02:34] Speaker A: Full time and part time. And I had Veterans day off. But of course I devoted myself to my students the entire day. Well, you needed to catch up for the summer. Many of whom just didn't show up. I know, right? [00:02:46] Speaker B: Oh, they got a harsh tone scolding from me this week. Did they? [00:02:51] Speaker A: Good, because you know, you're the mean one. [00:02:54] Speaker B: I am the mean one. And I meet with all the Masons in what we call performance forum every Wednesday. And I'm the teacher who runs that and so I actually didn't do my normal sort of like, super stern kind of kind of delivery. It was more sort of very pragmatic and direct, but also friendly and kind of in a very different tone, because I wasn't upset, per se. I was just like, I'd like you all to know what some of us are experiencing here as teachers. And I mentioned the fact that people are not showing up for lessons, people aren't showing up for advising appointments, and just ghosting us because they feel like it's easier to avoid just saying, I messed up. I'm sorry, and just avoid us completely. And I said so. And there was another teacher there with me who was much sterner. I think a little bit sterner than I was, but it was very, like, very pragmatic. Like, hey, raise your hand if you're a senior music ed major. You're going to be in this position in one more semester. This is you having to deal with this from the next generation. Stop it. And so it seemed to be positive. So it wasn't like when I was. Previously, I would have been much, much, much more. [00:04:10] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:04:12] Speaker B: Intimidating. [00:04:14] Speaker A: Like how my mother always said, when children misbehaved, you're gonna have one just like you. [00:04:20] Speaker B: Well, I showed her. I said something like this. I said this part of me that's kind of laughing inside, because I'm looking at you right now, and I realize that the thing that I'm talking to you about right now is going to be a real problem for you in about a year or two. And you're going to think back on this moment, perhaps, and remember what I was talking about. And then I had a student who I really like cancel on me for an appointment the next day. And I texted them and I said, like, they canceled on me while I was driving to school, getting there just to meet with them for their appointment. [00:04:59] Speaker A: Oh, hell, no. [00:05:00] Speaker B: And I was like. And I texted them and I emailed them and said, this is exactly what I was talking about yesterday. And they said, I'm sorry. I'll be there in 10 minutes. And we got it all worked out. And then when they came in, he was very, very apologetic. I said, you're really sorry, aren't you? He said, yes. I said, fine, understood. You're a freshman. You're going to do stupid things now and again. Just don't do it again. All right, now let's talk about why we met. Boom. You know what I mean? [00:05:29] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, sure, I hear you. I was never that kind of student. I was a Student. [00:05:33] Speaker B: Me neither. [00:05:33] Speaker A: I wouldn't. [00:05:34] Speaker B: I would be mortified. Not to say I didn't ever drop the ball, but if I did, I was effusive about my sincerity about doing that. So, anyway, we're different. Okay, so that was the week. But you haven't even mentioned what was really, like, the difficult things that were going. So I'm sorry, listeners, if you've been listening recently, you know that we've got a litany of projects that we've been working on in the house. Right. That we had our roof replaced. Next week we'll have our crawl space completely cleaned and mitigated for mold and sealed up and treated and double coated. And then there'll be a special filtration device that'll be put in there and that we have to have some foundational repair done under our beautiful television room. So that'll be something. But then we also had to replace the washer and dryer this week. Luckily, the water softener that went out on us was still under warranty. So that's taken care of. That's all fixed. And then we also had to sealcoat our driveway, which is something I've been needing to do for a long time. And it just so happened that there's a guy in the neighborhood who was doing other people's driveways, and we got a deal, and he did it. I'm so grateful, because if you don't. I don't know if anybody has an asphalt driveway, but if you have an asphalt driveway, they need to be sealed, otherwise they dry out and they start to crumble. [00:06:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:58] Speaker B: So that's what we had done. So there was just a lot this week. [00:07:01] Speaker A: A lot. Too bad. That fellow came by today just as we were napping. I know. [00:07:06] Speaker B: He came by to follow up and do a second coat on part of the driveway because it was so neglected it needed it. So. Yes. And I was sleeping and so were you, but you were closer to the door. You were downstairs. [00:07:21] Speaker A: In the aforementioned television room. Well, guess who's at it again. [00:07:26] Speaker B: Who is at it again? [00:07:27] Speaker A: Metamorpho the element man, the fab freak of 1001 changes. If only he lived here. He could do a lot of these repairs, I bet. Because apparently he can split off parts of his body and never recover them. [00:07:40] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't understand that. We're gonna get to that. I don't understand that. Did you look into that? [00:07:45] Speaker A: I did not. [00:07:46] Speaker B: Okay. [00:07:46] Speaker A: All right. You want me to. Right now? [00:07:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:51] Speaker A: According to Google AI's overview, Metamorpho can lose A part of his body. But he can regenerate it rapidly due to his unique physiology. [00:08:03] Speaker B: Oh my goodness. [00:08:03] Speaker A: He has exceptional regenerative capabilities. He has been shown to rapidly reconstruct his entire body even when reduced to just a sentient head. [00:08:12] Speaker B: Sentient head? [00:08:13] Speaker A: His body is made of elemental compounds which he can control and reshape. He is highly durable, especially when in solid forms like rock or metal, making him resistant to damage. The primary weakness that can cause his body to lose cohesion or to be destroyed is prolonged exposure to the Orb of Ra, the meteor that originally transformed him. [00:08:37] Speaker B: Okay. [00:08:39] Speaker A: He's been seemingly destroyed or left for dead multiple times in the comics, but always returned or reformed his body, suggesting a form of immortality or incredible resilience. In fact, I remember now, in the 2000s, I believe, there was a character that looked just like Metamorpho but was not Metamorpho and actually turned out to be like a part of his body that had turned into a whole metamorpho or something. I'm fuzzy on the details. Somebody's gonna write in and tell us. [00:09:09] Speaker B: Okay. [00:09:11] Speaker A: This is metamorpho number 11. As you recall last issue we were introduced to Urania Blackwell, the Element Girl. And she died. [00:09:24] Speaker B: And she died. [00:09:27] Speaker A: Metamorpho the Element man. Like who else but me? Again, this is Metamorpho speaking. Panting ones. Your personal element man with the answer to the biggest mystery since. Girls. Unidentified. Unidentified flying objects. UFOs to you unhipsters out there. Its weirdies from space and flying saucers that get the whole wide world leaning all over the panic button. So that little old craggy eyed me, Metamorpho is the only chump with the titanic temerity. That's guts to you. To tangle with the unknown bozos that have everybody asking in their nightmares. They came from beyond Roll call. Rex. [00:10:16] Speaker B: Rex Metamorpho. Mason. Unbeatable. Famous oddity. [00:10:20] Speaker A: Simon Stagg. Uncommon foremost operator. [00:10:23] Speaker B: Sapphire Stagg. Unusually feminine Outlines. [00:10:26] Speaker A: Java. Uncouth, foolish ogre. [00:10:29] Speaker B: Frog Coal. Unmoral, fanatical outlaw. [00:10:33] Speaker A: He looks like an outlaw. He does. He's not very attractive. [00:10:37] Speaker B: No, he looks like one of. [00:10:39] Speaker A: I'd take Jabba over him any day. [00:10:40] Speaker B: One of my arch enemies. Who? I don't know. I'm just kidding. I don't have. I don't know why I said that. All right, I don't have an arch enemy, so. Holy Hannah. I got this atomic bon bon turned around but I guess we passed by. Stop. That's not important. I don't know. [00:10:56] Speaker A: That's the splash page. We don't care about that. Let's turn back to the action on the. Where are they? Holland. [00:11:03] Speaker B: Holland. [00:11:04] Speaker A: It's where we left them last. In Holland. Stettane. In Holland, state ein heiss. In Holland, state ein hels. [00:11:13] Speaker B: Yahya. [00:11:14] Speaker A: Funnieshingala Shingala Hubsasa. In Holland, state einheus. In Holland, state ein Heu. That's Eenholland. State ein heuis. A famous Dutch folk song which I performed at the National Gallery of Art in a special costume, dressed as a Dutch mariner. [00:11:36] Speaker B: I don't remember that. You don't? I wasn't there. [00:11:38] Speaker A: Our colleague at another university made me a captain's coat. [00:11:44] Speaker B: I remember the captain's coat. [00:11:46] Speaker A: Well, I still got it in the closet. [00:11:48] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness, yes. [00:11:49] Speaker A: In case I ever have to go to the National Gallery of Art and sing a Dutch folk song again, I'm set. [00:11:56] Speaker B: So, on the dykes holding back the uncaring sea the uncaring sea like the sea cares. Above what was once the lair of the arch criminal Stingaree, we left Metamorpho, the Element man, carrying the limp form of strangely beautiful girl whose chemical eyes we no longer see. [00:12:14] Speaker A: It's the Element Girl. She's dead. We think. And Sapphire is not shown to her best in this issue. [00:12:26] Speaker B: No, she is not. [00:12:27] Speaker A: She wants Rex to just leave the body of Element Girl there on the dikes, I guess, getting back Sapphire, because as you recall, last issue they were in the midst of their wedding and that's when Element Girl showed up or Stingaree or somebody. [00:12:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:44] Speaker A: It's been months and months. I can't remember the details. I could have refreshed my memory, but you know what? I didn't. I was taking a nap. [00:12:54] Speaker B: I know what I was doing. What? Anything else. But that. That is refreshing my memory. [00:13:01] Speaker A: All right, she says you can just leave this Element Girl to the elements. [00:13:05] Speaker B: And let her decompose. [00:13:09] Speaker A: Who is it? Oh, I know. We do have a friend that's donated their body to just be put out in the woods somewhere to study the decomposition process. [00:13:17] Speaker B: Yes, there's a waiting list for that. [00:13:18] Speaker A: There is? [00:13:19] Speaker B: Well, you can't just write in and say, I haven't designated. You have to actually, like, apply and they accept you and they make arrangements so when you die, like they. This. This place. Yeah. Which is a school. [00:13:35] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:36] Speaker B: Takes care of all the costs of transporting your body and then they just lay it out and you decompose and students study you as a part of the decompose decomposition process. I swear To God, folks, it's real. It's called the body farm. [00:13:53] Speaker A: What if. Hear me out. What if someone just dies in an accident or something and you just sneak their body out there and then you call and say, hey, by the way, there's a body out there. You could study. [00:14:06] Speaker B: I don't think. I don't think. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. [00:14:13] Speaker A: Okay. [00:14:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:14] Speaker A: They just lay you on the ground or do they do it. Make it creative? Like they drape you over the limb of a tree or something? [00:14:18] Speaker B: Oh, God. Wouldn't it great. Like, wouldn't it be great if you could specify how you wish to be posed? Like, I would like to have tea with. With. With someone else posed at a table. And I would like to be wearing a crinoline dress in pink or something like that. Our friend is a sure female, you know, And I would like. I wish to be dressed in this way. I wish to be posed in this setting until I decompose. [00:14:47] Speaker A: Well, that would be better for study because people do die at t but not outside. [00:14:52] Speaker B: People don't die, you know. [00:14:53] Speaker A: Yes, sure. Garden party. You could die. You could choke on a scone or something. [00:14:59] Speaker B: I suppose so. I nearly choked to death once. [00:15:03] Speaker A: You did? [00:15:03] Speaker B: Having lunch with a colleague. Yeah? [00:15:05] Speaker A: What happened? [00:15:06] Speaker B: I was at the Maria's. [00:15:08] Speaker A: Oh, right. I remember that. [00:15:09] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, I'm glad you didn't. Me too, because I would have 100% snuck your body onto the body farm and then made an anonymous phone call. Hi, guys. There's a new body for you to study. [00:15:22] Speaker B: Hi. [00:15:23] Speaker A: He died very naturally. Natural causes. At Maria's taqueria. All right. And then Sapphire says you can leave her here and then return to our wedding. And I'll forgive you for jilting me heartless B. [00:15:42] Speaker B: Like you said, she's not painted in. [00:15:44] Speaker A: The best way here. No. Well, Rex. Rex is metamorpho to you and me. He's got a debt to pay to Elma girl. She helped him de sting stingery. Without her, there wouldn't be enough of him left to fill a test tube. [00:15:58] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:15:59] Speaker A: So he owes her a chance to come back to life. He's gonna take her back to Simon Stagg's laboratory and hope that Simon can shock her back to life. [00:16:12] Speaker B: Although he does have a little bit of self doubt. He's saying, you know, to himself. He says, you must have flipped your molecules, Mason talking to himself. You really love Saf. But admit it, this atomic doll has somehow gotten under your elemental skin. [00:16:26] Speaker A: Yeah, because she has the same unfortunate skin condition that you do. And Saf is showing her true colors, which are not pretty. [00:16:34] Speaker B: Yeah. And Sapphire's not done. [00:16:37] Speaker A: No. [00:16:38] Speaker B: With her rage. [00:16:39] Speaker A: No. Well, how about it, readers? Has Element Girl gotten under your skin too? Whether she lives or dies depends on you. So write in. That's the first of many urgent urges we'll get to write and make our feelings about Element Girl known. [00:16:56] Speaker B: I wonder if Irene Vartnoff will write it. [00:16:59] Speaker A: Oh, I don't know. I don't recall her writing to Metamorpho. Maybe she doesn't read Metamorpho. It's probably too silly for her. All right, back at the laboratory, Element Girl's been all wrapped up in cellphone or something, and Simon's not sure that he can bring her back to life. She got a king sized dose of Stingaree's deadly cocktail of poisonous chemicals. [00:17:26] Speaker B: But Rex urges Simon to continue. [00:17:30] Speaker A: Yes, and Simon has an ulterior motive, because if he can get her back alive, then Metamorpho and Element Girl will be a fighting team for him. [00:17:39] Speaker B: Well, Sapphire is livid. [00:17:43] Speaker A: Yes, Rex Mason, you've been watching over that atomic hussy again. All you think of is her. You're in love with her. I know you are. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. [00:17:53] Speaker B: Sapphoff, baby, you got it all wrong. [00:17:55] Speaker A: No one can jilt Sapphire Stag. No one. To think I gave up men who adored me, hundreds of them, for a miserable freak like you. Goodbye, you. You weirdy. [00:18:08] Speaker B: Honey, stop acting like a spoiled rich witch. As soon as E Girl's okay again, we'll get spliced. I promise. [00:18:16] Speaker A: Sappho, stop. [00:18:18] Speaker B: She takes off. [00:18:20] Speaker A: Holy Hannah. As he got troubles. Who would have thought a normal, green blooded, all American freak like him would have been problems? Well, you're about to get a lot more problems. [00:18:33] Speaker B: Exactly. You think you got problems now? Wait till you find out about the UFOs. [00:18:37] Speaker A: Yes, because at this very moment, in a country field, something is going to complicate your life beyond your wildest nightmares. Glory be, says Farmer Jones. A flying saucer. Here on my land. Gotta call the police. Well, out in the country, you can't call the police. You have to call a county sheriff. [00:18:58] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah. And then, shortly, miles away in a crowded city. [00:19:01] Speaker A: Eeek. [00:19:03] Speaker B: I love a good eek. [00:19:04] Speaker A: UFOs. Two of them. I feel like I had a toy flying saucer which was very much looked like this. It had tail fins like this and it shot little discs out of it. [00:19:20] Speaker B: Did it? [00:19:21] Speaker A: I wish I could find that. I know what I'm doing this afternoon after my second nap. [00:19:26] Speaker B: Oh, I'm totally having a second nap for sure. [00:19:29] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, it's Saturday. We gotta arm to stay up late. [00:19:33] Speaker B: I would have only had one nap had not the guy come by to do that. Second coat in the driveway. And the dogs went inside. Insane. And I was like, what? Yeah, right. So while outside, what are we going to talk about? These are just various panels. [00:19:53] Speaker A: Yes. In an observatory outside the city. They've developed photographic plates showing unidentified flying objects passing over the area. [00:20:03] Speaker B: There's a television that says there's a little. There is little doubt tonight, ladies and gentlemen, that the UFOs are not just imaginary. That there is really something out there. Someone out there. [00:20:15] Speaker A: Yes. And then we see a mysterious gloved hand. Yes. [00:20:19] Speaker B: Gloved hand. [00:20:21] Speaker A: Something. Someone is out there. I am here. [00:20:25] Speaker B: We are here. [00:20:26] Speaker A: For the time has come for Earth to greet the star. [00:20:30] Speaker B: That's right. The time is ripe. Secure our hatches. Shut down dischargers. We'll take off at exactly one minute Earth time. [00:20:38] Speaker A: As you command. Vragk. Vrag. [00:20:43] Speaker B: Call. [00:20:43] Speaker A: So we're meant to believe he's from Krypton or Daxam or someplace which has hyphenated names. I have to remark on the artwork. This is by Sal Trapani. It's good, but it's. I have to believe he is intentionally imitating the style of Ramona Frayden, who was the co. Creator of Metamorpho and only did the first three issues, I believe, and later had a long run on DC's Super Friends comic. [00:21:14] Speaker B: Okay. [00:21:15] Speaker A: She had a very lovely cartoony style. [00:21:19] Speaker B: Did she? [00:21:19] Speaker A: Yes. Which is essentially what you're looking at here. Except it's not her. [00:21:23] Speaker B: But his eyebrows are a bit heavy, aren't they? [00:21:26] Speaker A: They are very heavy. But it's in keeping with the male characters in this series. They all have a heavy brow. [00:21:34] Speaker B: Yes, they do. [00:21:36] Speaker A: All right. The saucer keeps flying. It is approached by one of our brave boys in blue in a jet. [00:21:45] Speaker B: Fire on it. Brad Cole orders it to be fired upon and they destroy. [00:21:49] Speaker A: They destroy the jet. [00:21:50] Speaker B: And what I think is interesting here is. You see no pilot with a parachute. Right. [00:21:58] Speaker A: That is interesting. And unusual. [00:22:00] Speaker B: Very unusual. I looked. I scanned through that to find it. [00:22:04] Speaker A: Yep. No, no sign of it. Not long after, In Air Force HQ, that's headquarters to you and me. [00:22:13] Speaker B: It's true, Mr. President. The Wing camera film we recovered shows the jet being destroyed by a flying saucer. No foreign power has such a craft of war weapons. It must Be from outer space. [00:22:25] Speaker A: Meanwhile, back at the lab of Simon Stagg. It's no use. He's tried everything to bring back Element Girl, and he can't do it. [00:22:34] Speaker B: Metamorphosis. He's got to. He simply has to. You bet. [00:22:38] Speaker A: You're not even trying. Like you never really tried to change me back to normal. [00:22:43] Speaker B: Oh. [00:22:45] Speaker A: All right. Just then, the hot phone rings, which means it's a call from Washington. The President's calling Simon Stagg. As a noted industrialist and scientist, he will report to Washington immediately. Because he may be many things, but he's an American first and foremost. And when his country calls, he answers. [00:23:07] Speaker B: I'm proud to be an American. [00:23:10] Speaker A: Well, at least I know I'm free to do. No. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Make a Bible with Donald Trump and sell it for $103. And I'll stand up and people will laugh. Cause they'll know I'm such a fink. Cause there ain't no doubt. I love a book. God bless the usa. [00:23:33] Speaker A: Two things about Lee Greenwood. [00:23:35] Speaker B: What? [00:23:36] Speaker A: He loves Canada, too. Cause he wrote a version of the song God Bless Canada. [00:23:42] Speaker B: I know. [00:23:43] Speaker A: Also, did you know that my sister lived in the same apartment building as Lee Greenwood in Nashville? [00:23:49] Speaker B: Did she? [00:23:49] Speaker A: Mm. They did their laundry together and whatnot. [00:23:52] Speaker B: Oh, and whatnot? [00:23:53] Speaker A: Well, no. I mean, he was married, but probably also awful then. All right. Simon says that he's got to go to Washington, deal with the UFOs, and you have to come with me because you're my servant. And he agrees to go because he can't stay there just moping around. Sapphire's gone. Element Girl's dead. What? [00:24:20] Speaker B: There's the mail. [00:24:21] Speaker A: What's happened? [00:24:21] Speaker B: The mail's coming. [00:24:22] Speaker A: Do we get anything? [00:24:24] Speaker B: I'll tell you in a second. Yes. There goes the mail. Oh, and I can report Ron has pulled out of his driveway twice. He must have be pulled out of his driveway. Yes, Pulled back in while my head was turned because he pulled out again. [00:24:41] Speaker A: Ron is the HOA president who took over for me. Was he riding his ATV or was it just in a normal car? [00:24:47] Speaker B: Big black truck. [00:24:49] Speaker A: Oh, he must be going off site, then. He only uses his ATV to go across the street to the neighbors. [00:24:55] Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah. [00:24:56] Speaker A: He rides that thing everywhere, literally, to cross the street. [00:25:01] Speaker B: I know. [00:25:01] Speaker A: Directly across the street. Like, I could see. If you're going catty corner across the street, you might need a little assist. [00:25:07] Speaker B: But no, you're absolutely right. I remember when we used to have HOA meetings. [00:25:11] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:12] Speaker B: And some of us would come from just a couple houses away. [00:25:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:15] Speaker B: I would be the one. Well, and then when our neighbor. Right next door neighbor, who we get along with. Really? Yeah. When she would. And I would go, we would walk. [00:25:24] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Other people would drive. One of those people was the person that lived directly across the street from Ron, would get in his car, pull out of his driveway, go halfway the length of his yard and pull into Ron's driveway. [00:25:41] Speaker A: Just to clarify, they still do have HOA meetings. We just don't attend. We're protesting. [00:25:45] Speaker B: Yes. [00:25:47] Speaker A: All right. In Washington, Simon Stagg has been called to give his opinion of whether these UFOs are from outer space or not. Simon knows that eyewitness reports are often contradictory, the result of panic. And even photos can lie and fool the camera. So there is no proof positive that these are from outer space. But I. And Metamorpho. [00:26:17] Speaker B: Did you just put an H where it didn't belong? [00:26:19] Speaker A: Metamorph. Metamorpho. [00:26:22] Speaker B: Metamorpho. [00:26:23] Speaker A: Metamorpho. We'll get the proof for you. I'm hereby volunteering to solve this great mystery, no matter the risk, no matter the price. We have nothing to offer our country but blood, sweat and our very lives. [00:26:38] Speaker B: Rex says it well. Holy Hannah. What a red, white and blue cornball. [00:26:43] Speaker A: And that is why, not long after, over desolate western canyons, Simon, Metamorpho and Java, Simon's unfrozen caveman manservant, have come to where a rancher spotted the last saucer. They land on the mesa and start. What do you call those? Geiger counter. Geiger counter. [00:27:11] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that's what that is. [00:27:14] Speaker A: There are scorch marks on the ground. [00:27:15] Speaker B: He's calling it the Mego transducer. [00:27:17] Speaker A: But it's. Well, yes, agree to disagree. Maybe they call it that on Earth 1. There are scorch marks on the ground, but those could easily be faked. But the Mego transducer is picking up something big. Energy units, engines. Very powerful engines. And just then, Java hears a sound. [00:27:37] Speaker B: Suddenly shimmering and rising from a nearby canyon. Master. Dare. Dare. [00:27:42] Speaker A: Great Godfrey, that's no illusion. Illusions don't record on the transducer. It's real. It's solid. [00:27:50] Speaker B: And as the saucer sets down on the mesa top. Bye, Jasper. This is a historic moment. An historic moment. Do you know what? Do you know what? You look upon beings from space, says Simon. Simon. And then Jabba says, ay, free. Ay, Master, I'm afraid Jabba. The faithful, the loyal and the freed. Silence, you stupid. [00:28:17] Speaker A: Oh, smack. The hatch is opening. And now Simon is Excited to be the first Earthlings to greet the new arrivals. Metamorphose not as excited. [00:28:28] Speaker B: No. He senses some trouble. [00:28:31] Speaker A: He is ready for trouble. He is all right. A door opens, and perhaps history's greatest moment is at hand. The moment so long awaited, feared and hoped for by the teeming millions who call themselves humanity. And the welcoming committee for this instant in eternity. [00:28:50] Speaker B: One genius, one ape head and a freak. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Who else? [00:28:55] Speaker B: Earthlings, I am Vrag Kull. I bring you greetings from the stars. [00:29:01] Speaker A: Vrag Kull. For a gentleman with such an ugly face. He is jacked. [00:29:06] Speaker B: He is. He is jacked by Gadfry Swole, as the kids say. [00:29:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Cut. [00:29:14] Speaker B: Cut. [00:29:16] Speaker A: Simon is speechless. He greets Vragka on behalf of the Earth and introduces himself as Earth's leading scientist. And this is Metamorpho, the element man in Java Mysore. [00:29:29] Speaker B: Oh, Master, please don't let them hurt poor Java. [00:29:34] Speaker A: Now, Ragkall reports that he's been observing the people of Earth for some time in secret. And Metamorpho is no normal Earthling. M. [00:29:46] Speaker B: Uh. [00:29:48] Speaker A: And Metamorphose says yes. And you don't look like an alien anyway, either. [00:29:54] Speaker B: Wallace's fool. You suffer from the common Earthling impression that all beings from space are green or have two heads. As you see, we are very much like you. [00:30:04] Speaker A: Not like me, chum. That unlucky you aren't. All right. Simon's trying to keep everything peaceful. [00:30:13] Speaker B: He wants his first meeting Earthlings and space creatures to be friendly and protective. [00:30:18] Speaker A: Also wants a tour of this spaceship, probably so he could steal some technology. [00:30:23] Speaker B: It's a sweet spaceship. [00:30:25] Speaker A: It really is. I really am going to look for that toy. I'm so desirous of having it again. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Now, this thing that you just remembered just now. [00:30:33] Speaker A: Yeah. All right. So I hope that you will. Well, no, as Metamorphose says, have you forgotten that they clobbered one of our jets and seemingly killed the pilot? And Vragkol says it's a regrettable mistake. We thought it was attacking us. Please enter the ship. [00:30:56] Speaker B: They do go into the ship. [00:30:57] Speaker A: Yes. We should mention that Vrigkall's goons are all around with laser rifles. [00:31:04] Speaker B: I just want to comment again on the art. It's really good. It's specifically, the angles and the depth are notable. And the heavy inking. It's very stylistic. Yes, actually. Really? I like this comic. [00:31:24] Speaker A: I'm so glad I do. [00:31:26] Speaker B: I look forward to reading Metamorpho. [00:31:28] Speaker A: Good to know. All right. They have advanced weaponry inside the ship, which Ragkol mentions could not be withstood should your Earth government try to attack us. [00:31:42] Speaker B: But why would they? I, Simon Stagg, will tell them you come in peace. We should cooperate. Perhaps you will share your great scientific secrets with us. [00:31:50] Speaker A: We shall see, Stag. We shall see. [00:31:54] Speaker B: Meantime, the element man wanders through the shimmering ship. [00:31:58] Speaker A: He can't put his finger on it, but something tells him that something about this isn't on the up and up. And just then, one of the henchmen drops a wrench on the ground or something and says, ah, crummy gizmo. Can't keep a grip on it, huh? Keep that in the back of your head, listener. Yeah, he goes back to join Simon and Ragkol and says, listen, Stag, this guy's a phony. The whole setup's a hoax. [00:32:29] Speaker B: Hmm. [00:32:30] Speaker A: How come one of rag calls flunkies uses good old American slang like crummy gizmo, like he's back home in his ballpark? [00:32:41] Speaker B: Well, Greg Call. Brag call. Brad call. I wrote this down so I wouldn't do this like I just did. Rag call says, let me explain, my freakish friend. All my crew were trained to speak as earthlings so they could go on recon missions amongst your people unnoticed. [00:32:58] Speaker A: Sure, daddy. O, that's why you've got cigarette stains on your fingers. The whole ball of wax is phony. This is like famous Five level of detection work. It's a foreign cigarette, ant. And it's still warm. [00:33:17] Speaker B: Uncle Quinton, the Famous Five are a. [00:33:21] Speaker A: Famous series of books by British authoress Enid Blinton. Yes, Blynton. I don't know. Somebody will write in and tell us. Anyway, it was a fantastic parody done by the Comic Strip presents. [00:33:34] Speaker B: Yes. Back in 40 years ago. Listener, if you ever want to be delighted, look for the famous five. Five. No, five go mad. Endorse it. [00:33:43] Speaker A: Five go mad. Endorse it. [00:33:45] Speaker B: Just look it up on YouTube. And it's dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Adrian. [00:33:50] Speaker A: Edmondson, and I don't remember the Robbie Coltrane's in it. [00:33:58] Speaker B: They're doing a parody of the famous children's series. Yes, but they're all adults. But they're playing children going on adventures and solving mysteries, and it's hilarious. [00:34:08] Speaker A: I've read one of those books. It's actually not parody. That's exactly how the books are. [00:34:14] Speaker B: One of the funny gags is they have a dog that gets poisoned all the time. And so they just have a replacement Timmy. Timmy. They have a replacement Timmy every 15 minutes or so. Every episode. They Have a replacement Timmy. But it's funny because. [00:34:29] Speaker A: It's very funny. [00:34:30] Speaker B: It's very funny. [00:34:31] Speaker A: You just have to take our word for it. Yes. All right. Stagg believes the cigarette stain gets stag. He believes Metamorpho. Yeah, he does. He pretends he knew it all along. [00:34:45] Speaker B: Well, I knew it. I knew it. [00:34:46] Speaker A: I'm pretty sure I figured it out before you did. [00:34:47] Speaker B: Superman and Batman recently, wasn't it? [00:34:50] Speaker A: All right. Ragkahl admits it. You've seen through my plot. But that's all you'll see. Sees them. [00:34:56] Speaker B: Metamorpho. Do something. [00:34:58] Speaker A: Now this is where we're having our confusion at the beginning because Metamorpho turns his hand into metal balls. Graphite balls, sorry. And shoots them at the henchmen. And seemingly does not retrieve the matter from his own body. [00:35:13] Speaker B: Right, right. So I'm going under the premise that, you know, perhaps he is gathering elements from the air and transforming them into other objects. Therefore he may have an inexhaustible amount of elements at his disposal. Well, you know, sort of thing like, you know, you'd think. [00:35:34] Speaker A: Think that. [00:35:34] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:35] Speaker A: But at this point in Metamorphos history, I believe the explanation is that he can only turn into elements that already exist in the human body. Meaning he is probably just using his own matter. [00:35:53] Speaker B: Okay. Then he would eventually run out of matter. [00:35:58] Speaker A: That's what I would think. That's what I believe. [00:36:02] Speaker B: Uh huh. [00:36:03] Speaker A: But that's why it doesn't make. [00:36:05] Speaker B: This is the same thing that bothers me about Wonder Woman being able to fly. [00:36:08] Speaker A: She can't fly. She glides. [00:36:11] Speaker B: She's not. She's not a bird with hollow bones. She's not light. She's a normal. As a matter of fact, she is a very muscular, powerful woman. Which means that she's denser than your average woman. Because muscle weighs more. [00:36:28] Speaker A: Yes, but she has long hair, so that gives her more lift. [00:36:33] Speaker B: One time, years and years and years ago, do you remember? I studied dance. Yes, but not like a dance major. I just studied dance because I was a. I was a crossover performer. [00:36:44] Speaker A: Sure. [00:36:44] Speaker B: And I was taking ballet and I was. In exchange for getting free classes in jazz, I think it was. I agreed to do pas de deux classes with the ballerinas. And so because they always. They never have enough men to partner with. [00:37:02] Speaker A: Story of my life. [00:37:03] Speaker B: And I remember my first pas de deux class. And this girl that was quite tall, she was quite a magnificent ballerina. And I was. I was partnering with her and we were doing these lifting things. We lift them and set Them down gently. And I was shocked at how dense she was. There wasn't much fat on her. [00:37:23] Speaker A: Not very smart girl. [00:37:27] Speaker B: I just thought she would be a lot easier to lift. And I mean, just. She was just a wisp of a thing. [00:37:33] Speaker A: Was she helping you? She's supposed to help you. She's supposed to do a leap, and then you just kind of guide her down. [00:37:39] Speaker B: Well, the first time that I would not guide her down correctly, she turned to me, she said, oh, my God, no. You have got to lighten. As I come down, I said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. [00:37:46] Speaker A: I'm sorry. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Because she was in toe shoes. And so I was. I was. I didn't. I had no experience doing this. So I did learn, but I was shocked. [00:37:54] Speaker A: Well, that's on her. She should have worn sensible shoes, but. [00:37:58] Speaker B: For this sort of thing. Come on, now. [00:38:00] Speaker A: That doesn't. [00:38:01] Speaker B: No. Anyway. [00:38:03] Speaker A: Or she should have. [00:38:04] Speaker B: The point is not technique. The point is not technique. The point is the fact that I was. That. That. I'm saying that when you are muscular, you are not a wisp of a thing. You are not light. Muscles are heavy. And therefore, Wonder Woman. I do not understand how she glides on currents. And I also don't understand how Metamorpho seems to have an inexhaustible amount of matter to convert into matter that he can project from his body if it is essentially made up of the elements within his body. Thank you. [00:38:35] Speaker A: Because here he goes again. He turns into a giant magnesium ball and bounces around the ship and then leaves a web of magnesium wire behind. [00:38:45] Speaker B: Him to entrap his. [00:38:47] Speaker A: To entrap the henchmen. Very resourceful, Vragkoll says. But as you could see, I can electrify the saucer floor with no harm to me and my men, since we wear insulated boots. The electrified floor melts all the magnesium wire which is now dripping down the walls. And yet Metamorpho is. Does it retrieve it and entirely whole. [00:39:10] Speaker B: Yeah, he's fine. And he was a ball of magnesium. [00:39:14] Speaker A: Yes. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Now he's entirely whole. Why does that matter? Listener for something that's coming up soon. [00:39:21] Speaker A: Now Metamorpho orders Stag and Java into the adjoining compartment so that Metamorpho can turn into chlorine gas and poison rag Kahl and his henchmen. [00:39:37] Speaker B: And they respond by putting on gas masks. [00:39:39] Speaker A: They've got gas masks, of course, but it's easy to avoid your deadly gas with our gas masks. But now Metamorpho is going to put the real whammy on them. But Java, in this other room, finds the power jets takeoff switch helpfully labeled, but of course, Java can't read, probably. And he pulls the lever. [00:40:09] Speaker B: That's damned inconvenient. [00:40:10] Speaker A: And the ship takes off. [00:40:12] Speaker B: Simon Stagg to have an assistant who can't read. [00:40:14] Speaker A: Mm. You know, it might be better that way, because they're not gonna get any ideas about they can do things better than how they've been told to do it. You know, I got a job. [00:40:23] Speaker B: It must be like what it's like to have kids. [00:40:27] Speaker A: You know, I got a job that way once. [00:40:29] Speaker B: What? [00:40:30] Speaker A: That I was hired for a specific position and nothing in my resume spoke to the duties of that position. And so after about the first week, I asked the HR director, who was also my direct supervisor, why I had been hired for this position since I had no relevant experience. And she said, because the person you're working for didn't want to have to argue with you, that he just wanted to tell you how to do things and have you do it. So you see, sometimes it just works out that way. All right, the saucer is in motion. Metamorpho has been knocked out. Well, not knocked out, but they're trapped by the G forces. [00:41:14] Speaker B: Right. [00:41:16] Speaker A: Vragk manages to get off of his stomach and shoot Metamorpho with a spray of liquid hydrogen. I'm trying to imagine what practical purpose having a spigot full of liquid hydrogen would have inside your spaceship, but here we are. [00:41:36] Speaker B: Wait, doesn't that have something to do with. If they're underwater, they can use it to be buoyant. [00:41:44] Speaker A: Oh, I don't know. [00:41:46] Speaker B: Frozen hydrogen, when melted, would expand and give the. The saucer buoyancy for underwater sea travel. Oh, I literally just remembered that and then looked down and realized it was in the next. I remembered it from reading it several days ago. [00:41:59] Speaker A: Okay, yeah. So you have such a good memory. [00:42:01] Speaker B: I do. So it uses it to freeze the element Man. [00:42:06] Speaker A: Yes. [00:42:06] Speaker B: Which doesn't mean he's dead. [00:42:08] Speaker A: No, just frozen. Just an ice cube. Now the incredible cold slows down the mighty metamorphosed molecules so that he cannot even will a chemical change in his uterus body. They go after Stag and Java in the next room, they melt the door with their laser rifles and rag call informs Simon that he's going to help him in completing his master plan that was almost ruined by Metamorpho. And if you don't help me, you will suffer total annihilation. Stagg agrees that he's correct. Yeah. He has no choice but to help. Because otherwise Sapphire is going to be an orphan with an immense fortune. [00:43:01] Speaker B: Which he's worth her spending it all overnight. [00:43:03] Speaker A: Well, you know how women are. [00:43:05] Speaker B: That reminds me of Donald Trump. [00:43:08] Speaker A: Accurate. All right, now they have to rehearse for their television debut. And not long after, Simon Stagg's face appears on television screens across the world. My fellow Americans, Simon Stagg speaking. I must confirm the awesome truth. Visitors from space have arrived on Earth and I am their prisoner. Their power is such that you cannot resist them. You must give in to their demands. There is no other choice, believe me. They have even overcome the mighty element man. So please, do not resist them. Thus will lives be spared. Daddy, Mommy. [00:43:51] Speaker B: They've beaten Metamorpho. [00:43:53] Speaker A: I'm scared. You're scared, honey? We're petrified. But before you readers ossify, flip ahead to part three, which excites thrills, bombs and gases, plus answering all. And it continues in marvelous metamorphoscope. Now, wait a second. What? [00:44:10] Speaker B: You're scared, honey. H, O, N, N, Y. Yeah, why not? H, O, N, E, Y. I don't know. [00:44:19] Speaker A: Maybe they're just trying to be goofy. Yeah. Now, part three. [00:44:23] Speaker B: They came from beyond. [00:44:25] Speaker A: No. They came from beyond. Now, as screens all over America stop receiving the TV spectacular of the year, a fantastic blackmail attempt produced by Vragkall, written by Vragkall, directed by Vragkall and starring Simon Stagg and a cast of one frozen element Man. Simon says you'll never get away with this blackmail scheme. It's impossible. [00:44:47] Speaker B: Oh, but I shall get away with it. Because you have made it possible. The United States government will believe you. Believe that we are truly the first visitors from space. All powerful beings whose every command must be obeyed. How does it feel to be a traitor, Stag? [00:45:04] Speaker A: You would have killed me. I had no choice. Besides, I'm a coward. [00:45:07] Speaker B: And sure enough, in that conference room. [00:45:10] Speaker A: In the White House, let's see, who is this? Lbj this is all bad news, gentlemen. We cannot take a chance if Mr. Stagg says we are powerless to resist these outer space people, we must accept their demands to protect our citizens. [00:45:29] Speaker B: But, Mr. President, this vrag called demands. We turn over to him without our fight. Our secret central command post. Bunkerable bunker. Good God. Our secret central command post Bunker Bunker. [00:45:43] Speaker A: Baker Abel. What the hell? [00:45:45] Speaker B: Post bunker. Baker Abel. [00:45:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a NATO Alphabet or something. Okay, it's not. [00:45:52] Speaker B: Oh, wait, wait. Post bunker. Command post. [00:45:54] Speaker A: Our command post bunker. Baker Able. [00:45:57] Speaker B: I get it. I Get it? My goodness. [00:46:00] Speaker A: I'm sorry, Listener, but I'm afraid we must. General, you all saw what they done, even to Metamorpho. We must go along with them. [00:46:11] Speaker B: Presently, as a shortwave radio message on a special frequency is received by in the space saucer. [00:46:18] Speaker A: It's working. The gigantic bluff is working. They've given Rag Call the location of Bunker Baker Abel. Set course at once. And when we take over, we shall truly be all powerful. [00:46:33] Speaker B: Meantime, where the frozen Element man is propped up against a saucer wall, not too far from the heat exchanger mechanism. [00:46:41] Speaker A: Well, Metamorpho thinks Stag has sold out humanity. In fact, he has. Metamorpho can't move a molecule. But what gives? He feels slightly warmer because they put him right in front of the heat duct. They have found Bunker Baker Abel, which is a set of doors in the ground that open up. And inside is a secret defense center crammed with all of America's super weapons. [00:47:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:18] Speaker A: Radar, communications, hookups, all for the pleasure of Rag Call. [00:47:27] Speaker B: While within the. While within the unguarded saucer Metamorpho is thawed. Yes, he's going to try to call. Rag Calls Super Bluff. [00:47:37] Speaker A: Because if he doesn't, Uncle Sam will never get this hardware store back again. [00:47:42] Speaker B: So the Element man bursts onto the scene and starts taking names. He turns himself into a pellet. [00:47:53] Speaker A: Well, it's like a giant gun turret. [00:47:56] Speaker B: It kind of looks. A gun turret? Yeah. [00:47:58] Speaker A: Kind of looks like a Dalek from Doctor who. [00:48:01] Speaker B: Yes, it does, doesn't it? [00:48:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:48:04] Speaker B: Why did we ever stop watching Doctor. [00:48:06] Speaker A: Who, but you wouldn't allow it in the home. I tried to keep watching it. [00:48:10] Speaker B: I am the worst. Why do you stay with me? [00:48:12] Speaker A: I want to watch it, but I had a really hard time understanding any single word that Peter Capaldi said, so that's how far behind we are. But we'll get back to it. You know us, we do like Catherine Tate. So we can watch. There's a special where she comes back. All right. Metamorpho, from this gun turret thing, starts shooting pieces of himself at the henchmen with no ill effect. Seemingly, he is prepared to accept Vragkull's surrender. But Ragkall hits him in the back of the head with a meat hook or something dangling from a heavy chain. Metamorpho is knocked into a cannon. A cannon? [00:49:08] Speaker B: Oh, a launcher. A rocket launcher. [00:49:09] Speaker A: A rocket launcher. Okay. [00:49:11] Speaker B: That takes a lot of skill you've done. You've used one of those claw hook machines in an arcade before. [00:49:17] Speaker A: Sure. [00:49:18] Speaker B: That's essentially what Rag Call has done with the element man who could transform himself into gas. [00:49:23] Speaker A: Yes. [00:49:23] Speaker B: I have a hard time believing that. [00:49:26] Speaker A: Right, well, hold onto your horses because there's more coming up that he did. [00:49:30] Speaker B: That using equipment in a new building that he just literally occupied with his people. [00:49:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:36] Speaker B: Like, it's not like he built this thing, this device. [00:49:39] Speaker A: No. But now I do think he's been doing research because he knows exactly. [00:49:43] Speaker B: Okay, okay, okay, you're right. [00:49:47] Speaker A: The rocket is launched. Metamorpho is astride the rocket in a very suggestive manner. [00:49:56] Speaker B: Well, how many different ways can you ride a rocket? [00:49:59] Speaker A: Granted, the rocket shoots out and Metamorpho turns his legs into cobalt. [00:50:07] Speaker B: Rudders. [00:50:08] Speaker A: Rudders. So that he could steer it like wings, which. [00:50:12] Speaker B: And he steers the rocket right back into the bunker. [00:50:19] Speaker A: Yeah. And down it comes. It's an atomic rocket. So they're afraid they're all going to be blown to smithereens. However, luckily for everyone, it doesn't explode because apparently atomic rockets don't arm themselves until they've traveled several miles. [00:50:41] Speaker B: So here's the weird thing. The rocket crashes to the floor and Metamorpho breaks into pieces. [00:50:49] Speaker A: Yes. His arms come off, his legs come off. [00:50:53] Speaker B: And his arms, like his torso is shoulder and the elbow. [00:50:56] Speaker A: Yes. [00:50:57] Speaker B: So his arms are. Each arm is in two separate pieces, each leg is in two separate pieces. His upper torso is separated from his lower torso and his head is stuck to the top of his upper torso. [00:51:07] Speaker A: Yes. [00:51:08] Speaker B: This is the weird thing. Why can't he pull himself back up to get back together again? He can't. [00:51:17] Speaker A: Right? I don't know. Now what he can do is change his head into hydrogen gas and rise. [00:51:31] Speaker B: Up. [00:51:33] Speaker A: To peek through the king sized periscope gizmo, which shows him that outside, the entire army has surrounded Bunker Baker Able. [00:51:44] Speaker B: But they think that it's possible that they might be fired upon with an atomic weapon. [00:51:53] Speaker A: Right. Now, holding back, Metamorpho turns his head into an entire bottle rocket. Giant bottle rocket. [00:52:02] Speaker B: With a launching station. [00:52:03] Speaker A: With a launching station. And a fuse which Simon lights with. [00:52:09] Speaker B: A lighter that is engraved with these words. Simon Stagg. Genius. [00:52:16] Speaker A: Right. Because Metamorpho knows the army guys are afraid to bust in because they think Rag Call really is from outer space. And Metamorpho is going to tell them otherwise by launching himself in bottle rocket form outside. Now, Vragkol says you can't even get beyond the immediate area with that puny little rocket. So please proceed. [00:52:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:44] Speaker A: Cause I'm not scared. [00:52:45] Speaker B: He allows. Go on. Metamorpho Go on, go on. [00:52:49] Speaker A: That's right. But up the rocket flies. Outside Bunker Baker Abel. [00:52:53] Speaker B: Metamorpho has a surprise. Yes. [00:52:57] Speaker A: As the rocket disintegrates in a shower of sulfur, potassium and magnesium, a message is revealed. [00:53:04] Speaker B: It says, aliens, phony, all a bluff. Eman. [00:53:08] Speaker A: Moments later, the army attacks with all. [00:53:11] Speaker B: Its weaponry on the bunker, which is surprising because there's so much weaponry stored in there. [00:53:19] Speaker A: Right. The attack catches Vragk off guard. He realizes he's been tricked. All of the weapons inside Bunker Baker Abel now are being destroyed, which seems a bit of a false economy to me, but you go, Army. Vraidka is knocked unconscious. For another few moments, the massive bombardment continues, and Simon is dismayed to learn that Bunker Baker Abel is totally destroyed. [00:53:51] Speaker B: I'm surprised that Simon and Java survived, right? [00:53:56] Speaker A: Or Fried Call, for that matter. Yeah, but where's Metamorpho? Well, here comes his floating head in gaseous form. He's still alive. And now, Simon, you can get busy putting me back together again, or I'll have to change my handle to Humpty Dumpty. [00:54:20] Speaker B: So he does put him back together. I don't know how that works. [00:54:22] Speaker A: Apparently. Yes. All right. Metamorpho returns to the side of the unconscious Element Girl, saying, he sure could have used her help. But I guess you're still dead and will never be a team again. [00:54:39] Speaker B: Will the fabulous Element man and Element Girl ever react together again? Is Urania really destined to spend eternity in a test tube? Only future issues of Metamorpho will tell. Read it. Ever miss it? Never. [00:54:53] Speaker A: Do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, we already have an early letter. Dear Editor, by all means, restore Element Girl to life to keep Sapphire jealous and to make Java more sneaky. Hmm. Oh, here we go. Dear Editor, where are you? I'm at the bottom of the first column. Metamorpho is a real great guy, but why don't you let Java do something great once in a while? Don't think I like Java better than Metamorpho, because I think both are even. [00:55:25] Speaker B: What? [00:55:26] Speaker A: But would you please quit letting Metamorpho call Java names like Hairy Brains and Old Slope Brow? [00:55:31] Speaker B: Lane Southcott, Baltimore, Maryland. [00:55:34] Speaker A: Well, Lane Southcott, I have to admit, I do have a weakness for cavemen myself. So I feel your pain. [00:55:41] Speaker B: What do you say? [00:55:42] Speaker A: What do you mean? All right. Do you have anything to add? [00:55:48] Speaker B: No, I think I've done enough diversions for one day. [00:55:51] Speaker A: You can find us on social media, Ogocheckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra, and you can find us right back here next week. I'm so excited for next week. I might even make you do it early because it's the exciting climax of Captain Hunter's trek through the Vietnamese jungle to find his lost with Lu Lynn to find his lost twin brother. And there's a surprise ending. [00:56:24] Speaker B: We've been reading that story for years. [00:56:26] Speaker A: Since the beginning, practically. Wow. [00:56:29] Speaker B: It's really the conclusion. [00:56:30] Speaker A: It's really the conclusion, but there's a twist at the end. [00:56:33] Speaker B: I'm so excited. [00:56:34] Speaker A: Same. [00:56:35] Speaker B: Yeah, let's just. [00:56:36] Speaker A: Let's just buckle down and do it right now. [00:56:38] Speaker B: Buckle down. [00:56:39] Speaker A: Win Soccet. Buckle down. Byee. [00:56:44] Speaker C: You don't have to be a politician? You can change it all with a sun and disposition? So be heavy and spread it all around? If you find yourself a frowning? Just turn it upside down? When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine? You gotta give in one thing time. You gotta turn on the sunshine? Push those blues away. Man, this dialectic's too much.