Animal Rights (Superboy 138)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:02] Speaker A: Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, hang on, hang on. [00:00:17] Speaker C: Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Superboy 138. Cover date June 1967. Cover price $0.25. Cover artist Kurt Swan. Edited by Mort Weisinger. Featuring the Duel of the Superboys written by Jerry Siegel, art by George Papp. And Krypto's Archenemy, written by Otto Binder, art by George Papp. And the Secret of the Flying Horse, written by Otto Binder, art by Curt Swan and George Klein. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:19] Speaker D: Open up your eyes. Take a look at the world around you. Don't you want to land. [00:01:36] Speaker C: On Krypton before its destruction? Juvenile delinquent Dev? M gets in trouble repeatedly for bedeviling his next door neighbor Jor El and his family. But devem heeds Jor El's prophecy of destruction for crypton outfits an alien shelter to take himself and his family to safety while placing them all in suspended animation and and allows them to survive while drifting in space. Meanwhile, when Lex Luthor's dog Wolf accidentally jumps in front of Luthor's superpowers ray, the dog becomes imbued with Kryptonian type powers. Luthor renames the dog Destructo and orders him to battle and defame Krypto. Then Superboy encounters a superpowered intelligent horse from another world whose spaceship runs on kryptonite. Confused? Don't worry. I'll be right back with Dr. Husband to explain everything. [00:02:27] Speaker E: It's an 80 page giant. It's a comic that's got 80 pages. An 80 page giant. Let's go. An 80 page giant. [00:02:39] Speaker C: Oh, hi. [00:02:40] Speaker F: Hello. [00:02:41] Speaker C: How you feeling? [00:02:42] Speaker F: Much better, thank you. [00:02:43] Speaker C: You had the flu, didn't you? Andstrap [00:02:46] Speaker F: I did, didn't I? Yes, [00:02:48] Speaker C: I'm afraid you did. [00:02:49] Speaker F: It was brutal. [00:02:51] Speaker C: It [00:02:51] Speaker F: was brutal. Oh yeah. I mean, I could regale you with tales of fevers and chills, sleeping and waking up and sleeping and waking up. [00:03:00] Speaker C: I was a witness to it. [00:03:01] Speaker F: It was awful. [00:03:02] Speaker C: Just a little souvenir from our trip to Montana, of course. I have the constitution of a Superboy, so, [00:03:08] Speaker F: yes, I [00:03:08] Speaker C: was. So [00:03:09] Speaker F: you weren't affected like I was? [00:03:11] Speaker C: Well, I did have a cough. A worrisome cough. [00:03:14] Speaker F: Yes, you did. [00:03:16] Speaker C: What else is new? [00:03:17] Speaker F: Oh, I don't know. Gosh, I mean, I've really been in the house for four days. Yeah, that's. Oh, I did manage to get on the lawnmower and mulch up the leaves today. That was nice. And weed up the flower bed out front, which is nice. I mean, you don't think about those things, but I do been passing by these. [00:03:33] Speaker C: I had a super busy day as well also. [00:03:36] Speaker F: Yes. Watching old timey movies. [00:03:38] Speaker C: Well, that Queen [00:03:39] Speaker F: from outer Space. [00:03:40] Speaker C: Queen of Outer Space, starring Zsa Zsa Gabor. And I vacuumed a room. [00:03:45] Speaker F: You did. And I really appreciate that because it was. We were in there last night. It was a TV room and I [00:03:50] Speaker C: was just [00:03:50] Speaker F: looking around and. Looked like a freaking kennel in there. [00:03:54] Speaker C: And I took a shower. So pretty busy day. [00:03:57] Speaker F: Yes. No, I missed. Well, I mean, we left, what, last Thursday, so I've been away from work for a week and a day and I wasn't expecting to be away that long, so of course, I spent a lot of time just trying to make it all work. Sure, yeah. Yeah. [00:04:17] Speaker C: Speaking of work, I have a new job. [00:04:20] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:04:21] Speaker C: Hired without an interview. Just because I do have the constitution of a Superboy. So [00:04:27] Speaker F: good for you. [00:04:27] Speaker C: Yeah. No, good for us. [00:04:31] Speaker F: Yes, good for us. You did get a raise, which is nice. [00:04:33] Speaker C: I did. And. But because of the nature of the position, I can't tell you anything more about it, listeners. So you just have to take my word for it that it's fantastic. [00:04:42] Speaker F: Very happy for you. And [00:04:44] Speaker C: yes. Oh, we're going to France. Getting ready [00:04:46] Speaker F: to go. Yeah, yeah, we're getting ready to go. So we just got back from our trip, our work trip. We did a couple concerts and the concerts went really well. Yeah. That second concert, though, I was getting sick. So was [00:04:56] Speaker C: I. [00:04:57] Speaker F: Yeah. I was losing my voice. And boy, did I have never had to work so hard to sing songs that I know very, very, very. Like, I could sing those as soon as I got out of bed in the morning. I had to work so hard. [00:05:12] Speaker C: Well, [00:05:12] Speaker F: just to navigate, you know, and they. I sold them well. [00:05:16] Speaker C: But as I heard from an audience. Yes. [00:05:19] Speaker F: That was embarrassing, wasn't it? [00:05:21] Speaker C: Yeah. No, [00:05:23] Speaker F: no. Okay. An [00:05:26] Speaker C: audience member asked why my performance style was so placid and doctor Husband's was so outgoing. [00:05:35] Speaker F: Yes. [00:05:35] Speaker C: And I said, well, I'm Judy Garland. I draw the Audience in, and he's Liza Minnelli. He gives it everything to him right up front. [00:05:44] Speaker F: To be honest, I was trying to sell the shit out of those songs because they were French melodies. Because I was. Internally, I was like, oh, my God, how am I gonna navigate this? Really? It was the Passaggio. I didn't know how I was gonna navigate that mix between the head and chest voice with my cords being so swollen. It was so [00:06:03] Speaker C: hard. You did it. [00:06:04] Speaker F: Yep. [00:06:06] Speaker C: So, yes. I'm afraid we've set an expectation for our listener that we're going to have to pre record so that we don't miss an epis while we're in France. [00:06:14] Speaker F: Oh, God. Dude. What? Well, you know what my next Sunday is like. [00:06:19] Speaker C: Well, yes, [00:06:20] Speaker F: but, yeah, we're going to have to plan around that. [00:06:21] Speaker C: Okay. Doing [00:06:22] Speaker F: my flute lesson on Sunday. [00:06:23] Speaker C: I know. [00:06:24] Speaker F: Yeah, yeah. [00:06:25] Speaker C: What are you doing Saturday? [00:06:26] Speaker F: Speaking of flute, didn't I have fun in Montana? [00:06:29] Speaker C: Oh, you sure did. It [00:06:31] Speaker F: was my dream come true. So we have first friends. [00:06:36] Speaker C: We have [00:06:36] Speaker F: a lot of friends in Montana. Very [00:06:37] Speaker C: many friends. [00:06:38] Speaker F: But two of them are really, really accomplished Irish musicians. For years, I've been staying with them and listening to the husband play the flute and thinking, oh, gosh, I wish I could learn to play the Irish flute. I wish I could learn to play the Irish flute, you know? And so as the listeners, you know, I got a flute this year, and I've been practicing. So I'm practicing for a year. And these particular friends of ours we were visiting, they had lent me one of their flutes while mine was being built for a year. And so I brought my flute out there and we sat down and played for, like, an hour and together, which was just. Just the best. It was really, really nice. [00:07:13] Speaker C: They got the flu, too. [00:07:15] Speaker F: They did, too. They got the flu, too. [00:07:17] Speaker C: Everyone involved the whole weekend got the flu. Apparently. [00:07:20] Speaker F: Yeah. Yeah, apparently. It was. We don't know where it came from, but it was pretty much there when we got there. So, like. And everybody got sick around the same time. I'm [00:07:31] Speaker C: pretty sure I knew where it came from, but I shall say no more. [00:07:33] Speaker F: Right, right, right. [00:07:35] Speaker C: Well, [00:07:37] Speaker F: right. This week is just basically about work. Right. You know, getting a haircut on Friday. [00:07:42] Speaker C: My last week of work. Your [00:07:44] Speaker F: last week. I'll [00:07:44] Speaker C: tell you that. [00:07:45] Speaker F: Because you are taking a week off. Both before we go to [00:07:49] Speaker C: France. To [00:07:50] Speaker F: France. Which [00:07:50] Speaker C: I [00:07:50] Speaker F: think is good. We talked about that. I said, yeah, [00:07:53] Speaker C: well, I still do have to teach. [00:07:55] Speaker F: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you'll have the days off, which will be nice. [00:07:57] Speaker C: Sure, [00:07:58] Speaker F: yeah. And so what's. Well, you've got a concert. You have solos coming up. [00:08:03] Speaker C: Yes. Next week if you happen to be in Eastern panhandle of West Virginia. Virginia. Yeah. I'll be singing Haydn's Lord Nelson Mass on Saturday the 14th with [00:08:11] Speaker F: Master Chorale. Yeah, come [00:08:12] Speaker C: on by. [00:08:13] Speaker F: What else is on that program, do you know? [00:08:15] Speaker C: I do not. [00:08:16] Speaker F: Yeah, okay. Anyway, I'll be. I'll be welcoming people at the top of the concert. And it's just the one concert, right? On Saturday. [00:08:22] Speaker C: Yes. Yeah. [00:08:23] Speaker F: Or. Yeah, Saturday. Saturday. Yeah. So that's it. Yeah, that's what our week is. Oh, we're going to be spending. Spend some time with friends this week. A little bit. So. A little bit. So there we go. Okay, so [00:08:35] Speaker C: you know who doesn't get a day off? [00:08:37] Speaker F: Superboy never [00:08:38] Speaker C: gets a day off. He. How much do you know about Superboy, Dr. Husband? [00:08:44] Speaker F: Oh, well, every Superboy reader knows that. How Kal El, as he was known when he was a baby on the planet Krypton, managed to survive his world's destruction. After Kal El came to Earth, he gained amazing superpowers and grew up to become Superboy, the universe's mightiest crusader for justice. But until now, it has never before been revealed that another boy escaped the destruction of Krypton 2, a youth who loves mischief as much as the Boy of Steel respects law and order. Read on and learn about the amazing [00:09:17] Speaker C: duel [00:09:18] Speaker F: of the Superboys. [00:09:21] Speaker C: But you jumped ahead. [00:09:24] Speaker F: Why? I [00:09:24] Speaker C: was gonna give you some other fun facts about Superboy. [00:09:26] Speaker F: Oh, boy, things I don't know. [00:09:28] Speaker C: His skin is invulnerable. Only something from his home planet, Krypton can penetrate it, such as his own super hard nails. Even his hair and nails cannot be cut. But this doesn't matter since they will not grow except to conform to his physical growth under a yellow sun such as Earth possesses. Whenever Clark Kent has occasion to bear his arms, as when he goes swimming, he wears an ingenious fake vaccination scar to cover up his identity as the invulnerable Superboy. Of course, he lives in Kansas. He probably wasn't getting vaccinated anyway. [00:10:04] Speaker F: No, [00:10:06] Speaker C: he. Unlike ordinary ventriloquists. [00:10:09] Speaker F: Oh, my God. We didn't talk about politics at all, did we? [00:10:11] Speaker C: No. [00:10:12] Speaker F: How could we not talk about politics? [00:10:15] Speaker C: Well, because we. We're all jumbled up from the time change and our travel and whatnot. [00:10:20] Speaker F: Well, just time marker blue wave. Now let's go on. [00:10:24] Speaker C: Unlike ordinary ventriloquism, wherein the voice throwing is an illusion, Superboy's super Ventriloquism involves actual voice projection, thus can be heard clearly by someone he's addressing miles away. Although those in the same room with him hear nothing. [00:10:42] Speaker F: It is indeed a superpower. [00:10:44] Speaker C: When summoning crypto, Superboy uses a supersonic whistle, which, unlike ordinary sound, can travel through space. [00:10:51] Speaker F: Wow. [00:10:52] Speaker C: Only thus can he be sure the signal will reach the dog who loves to romp outside Earth's atmosphere. This supersonic summons is inaudible to the ears of ordinary humans. It's probably a lucky thing, since both Superboy and Supergirl are members of the legion of superheroes they occasionally meet in the future. To keep Superboy from knowing about her and his own future life, the Girl of Steel, that's Supergirl, has planted a post hypnotic suggestion in his mind which causes him to lose all memory of her whenever he returns to his own time in Smallville. [00:11:28] Speaker F: Because she's not there yet. [00:11:30] Speaker C: Because she's not there yet. So powerful are the ultrasolar yellow rays, which give Superboy his powers that not even lead can stop them. Thus, they penetrate the very core of the earth, reaching the night side of the planet so that Superboy rotates his powers in the darkness during an eclipse while barrowing through the ground, or even when locked in a vault. [00:11:52] Speaker F: Did you say burrowing? [00:11:53] Speaker C: I did, but it's burrowing, isn't it? [00:11:55] Speaker F: Okay, yes, it is. [00:11:57] Speaker C: When Clark changes to his Superboy identity, he super compresses his clothes and hides them in a secret pouch in the lining of his cape. His shoes are made of a special resilient substance to allow them to be harmlessly compressed. Wafer thin [00:12:11] Speaker F: laugher thing. [00:12:16] Speaker C: Although Superboy is so intelligent that a high court once legally declared him an adult. [00:12:22] Speaker F: Why? [00:12:23] Speaker C: I don't know. He's trying to [00:12:24] Speaker F: emancipate himself from the. From the Kent. [00:12:26] Speaker C: He goes to school as Clark Kent to protect his secret identity, always being careful not to get ahead of the class. I went to school with a gal that was emancipated at age 16. [00:12:35] Speaker F: I know. [00:12:36] Speaker C: Not because she hated her parents, but because she had been a local child star in her hometown of Lima, Ohio. And she was so sick of the celebrity that she moved to Columbus and got emancipated. Her father was a prominent judge in Lima and came to Columbus. [00:12:56] Speaker F: She was a child star. [00:12:57] Speaker C: She was [00:12:57] Speaker F: in Lima. [00:12:58] Speaker C: In Lima. She had a morning television show [00:13:01] Speaker F: in Lima. [00:13:02] Speaker C: Yes, [00:13:03] Speaker F: I've been to Lima. I can't imagine being a star in Lima. [00:13:05] Speaker C: Well, get ready to live. I guess I could say her name. Jody Light. I doubt she's listening. But she came to Columbus and then she was the star of the show choir. Of course. [00:13:16] Speaker F: Of course. Because [00:13:17] Speaker C: she did have a terrific voice. And then she went right away and joined Fred Waring's Pennsylvanians. [00:13:22] Speaker F: Okay, [00:13:23] Speaker C: right before he died. [00:13:24] Speaker F: Did she make a living as an entertainer? To entertainess? [00:13:27] Speaker C: I believe she still does. [00:13:29] Speaker F: Entertainress. Genderizing that. [00:13:33] Speaker C: When Superboy first wore glasses as part of his Clark Kent identity, he melted them the first time he used his heat vision. He solved the problem, however, by making a new pair from the transparent port windows of the rocket that carried him to Earth. Because they are indestructible and not prescription lenses, they could give away his secret identity if a stranger examined them. Clark does not sleep in his glasses. Does anyone sleep in their glasses? [00:13:59] Speaker F: No, that's not a fact. [00:14:04] Speaker C: Since he sometimes has to use super speed in his Clark Ken identity, Superboy must take precautions against burning his clothes from friction. Merely out distancing a bullet, a simple thing for him, would not create enough friction to be dangerous. But Superboy can go much faster than any man made object. Therefore, he treats his clothes with special chemicals to make them friction proof. Because of certain dyes in the chemicals, most of Clark's sweaters are red and his suits and slacks are blue. That's why Clark Kent as an adult also always wears a blue suit. Except until the 70s when he wore brown suits sometimes, although exposure. Oh, no, we don't need to hear that. Yes, we do. Exposure to kryptonite rays can harm Superboy. A bullet made out of it cannot penetrate his skin. Because unlike other materials from Krypton, Kryptonite is not indestructible. That doesn't make any kind of sense. Kryptonite bullets or shells would merely shatter against his invulnerable body. However, he would be weakened by the fragments if he remained within their range. There's a lot more facts we could get into, but I know you're probably gonna fall asleep if I keep reading. [00:15:16] Speaker F: Not me. So [00:15:17] Speaker C: we better get back to the story. Another boy from Krypton, you say? [00:15:25] Speaker F: Okay, where are you? [00:15:26] Speaker C: I'm at the introduction splash page that you already read. By the way, this is an 80 page giant all about Superboy. [00:15:33] Speaker F: Yeah, [00:15:35] Speaker C: he's already falling asleep. No, [00:15:37] Speaker F: no, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm. I'm just trying to orient myself as we, you know how we have a rhythm here. I'm just, I'm kind of like just walking the tightrope, getting ready to jump in, just not quite sure. Where you are on this? [00:15:49] Speaker C: I'm on page two of the Duel of the Superpowers. [00:15:55] Speaker F: Okay. Because that's page 33. Okay. [00:15:58] Speaker C: The story begins many years ago in another solar system on the distant planet Krypton. In the home lab of scientist Jor El. [00:16:08] Speaker F: Jor El is looking at some schematics that he's drawn. He says, my calculations are correct, Lara. Krypton will soon perish due to an internal nuclear explosion. We'll all die. Unless my experiments to build a rocket ship which can take us to another world succeed. [00:16:22] Speaker C: Choke. You mustn't fail, darling. Jor El and Lara, of course, are Superboy's birth parents. Yes. Baby Kal El. Would you like to know Lara's maiden name? [00:16:36] Speaker F: Sure. [00:16:36] Speaker C: Lorvan. [00:16:38] Speaker F: Lara Lorvan. [00:16:39] Speaker C: Uh huh. [00:16:39] Speaker F: Okay. [00:16:41] Speaker C: Moments later, they go outside to see their. Well, frankly, he's a toddler. [00:16:47] Speaker F: Yes, [00:16:48] Speaker C: the toddler son, Kal El playing with his puppy, Krypto little dreaming of the doom that faces the entire planet. [00:16:54] Speaker F: Right. There's a car coming down the road with a monowheel [00:16:59] Speaker C: and little baby Kalow playing with some kind of flying dragon toy creature. Suddenly, he wanders right into the road with Krypto. This car does not stop. In fact, it speeds up because there's a juvenile delinquent driving it. And he wants to teach the child a lesson, give him a good scare. [00:17:21] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:17:24] Speaker C: The juvenile delinquent swerves too close, he's going to hit the baby. Which of course on Krypton he's not invulnerable. He'll die. [00:17:33] Speaker F: Right? Or Krypto [00:17:35] Speaker C: be resurrected in the pet cemetery or something. [00:17:37] Speaker F: Quickly acts and pushes baby Kal El or toddler Kal El out of the way. [00:17:42] Speaker C: Good boy. Crypto. He's just a puppy. [00:17:44] Speaker F: I know. He's a clever dog. [00:17:47] Speaker C: Now this juvenile delinquent is Dev m the neighbor boy. He's no good. You can tell he's no good because it's got long hair coming down his forehead and he's got furrowed brow. [00:18:04] Speaker F: Furrowed brow? [00:18:05] Speaker C: Yes, [00:18:06] Speaker F: permanently furrowed brow. [00:18:09] Speaker C: He tells Jor El that he'd have never forgiven himself if he'd have harmed baby Kal El. But then he drives away and we see his thought balloon. [00:18:17] Speaker F: Yeah. He says, haha. Jor El didn't seem fool. Or yeah, fooled by my phony regret. Who cares? He can't prove I tried to miss his baby as closely as possible. This guy is evil. [00:18:28] Speaker C: Yeah. This [00:18:29] Speaker F: kid, [00:18:29] Speaker C: he's no good. He's like the kid in my neighborhood when I Was growing up. Donnie Fugate. Mm. Oh, he was bad news. [00:18:36] Speaker F: Oh. [00:18:37] Speaker C: One time I saw him, he tied a kid to a telephone pole with twine. And he was. Then he was in his garage sharpening knives like he was gonna stab the kid. [00:18:46] Speaker F: Good Lord. We had a set of brothers in my neighborhood, the Beiges. B, A. It wasn't spelled B, E, I, G, E. It was like B, A, D, G, E. I think [00:19:02] Speaker C: they sound foreign. [00:19:03] Speaker F: Oh, my God. They. So the youngest was just a little bit younger than me. His name is Joey, and he reminded me. What's the Christmas story? The kid with the orange eyes, what was his name? Scott [00:19:15] Speaker C: Farkas. [00:19:15] Speaker F: Scott Farkas. He reminded me of Scott Farkas, but he had two older brothers who were teenagers that were strong and mean and. Oh, my God, you didn't want to go anywhere near those boys. They're the kind of boys that would. That would tie you up and cut you just for fun, like. Yeah. And their house was never finished. Their house was always under some form of upgrade or repair that the father, Richard, was always doing, and it was never, ever finished. It was just. There was always construction material around the house. Those kind of people. Well, you know, we lived out in the country. [00:19:50] Speaker C: Well, there's nothing wrong with trying to improve your home [00:19:53] Speaker F: for seven years. [00:19:55] Speaker C: You know, there's always something to be done. You're a homeowner, you understand, [00:19:59] Speaker F: but you don't. Your house doesn't look like it's under construction for seven years. [00:20:03] Speaker C: Mine. Mine doesn't. [00:20:05] Speaker F: Yeah, so. And they were the kind that we know drive around their trucks and shoot rifles and. Well, frankly, we all did that. [00:20:12] Speaker C: Yeah. I was going to say, you shouldn't throw stones. [00:20:14] Speaker F: Yeah. But they were the only house in our wooded neighborhood that looked like that, where it was just like. Well, the dad's always doing something with a house, but it always had, like, a cement mixer out front and bags of construction materials and always, always the yard was never cut, always overgrown. House looked like it was, you know, being built on as they dreamed it up. [00:20:38] Speaker C: What do you suppose ever became of them? Have you looked them up on Facebook? [00:20:41] Speaker F: Oh, good God, no. No, they were. The whole family was meant to. [00:20:47] Speaker C: Yeah, [00:20:47] Speaker F: well, they were drinkers. [00:20:49] Speaker C: Well, [00:20:49] Speaker F: yeah. [00:20:51] Speaker C: To be clear, there's nothing wrong with being a drinker as long as you're not mean. [00:20:55] Speaker F: Heavy drinkers. [00:20:57] Speaker C: Again, you [00:20:58] Speaker F: didn't want to ride your bike by the front of their house at night because they'd always. You know, in the winter, they'd have. They'd have their little. Little bonfire Going. And they'd be sitting out there drinking in the front yard in front of their construction zone, which is their house. [00:21:08] Speaker C: Yeah. And [00:21:08] Speaker F: you want to be. You don't want to be seen by them because one of them brothers would come out and grab you off your bike and beat you up. [00:21:14] Speaker C: Oh, [00:21:14] Speaker F: seriously, [00:21:15] Speaker C: they're good boys, but if they pull you off your bicycle, you better fight like hell. Was it that kind of situation? All right. Minutes later. Well, I think. I say you look them up, make amends. [00:21:31] Speaker F: No, there was a reason. There was a reason why all those boys were mean. Because probably the dad was mean as hell. [00:21:37] Speaker C: Well, yeah. It comes from the home life. [00:21:39] Speaker F: Yeah. Yeah. [00:21:40] Speaker C: That's why I say you should look them up. They're probably. They turn their lives around. Probably. I'll do it. After we finish recording, the reckless youth arrives home next door to Jor El, and his parents, Ron M and Lita, angrily greet him, accusing him of driving wildly and wanting to know why. [00:22:02] Speaker F: Of course, he makes up a lie right away. He [00:22:04] Speaker C: sure does. We see immediately that his father, Ranem, is unshaven. Mm. I was in a hurry to show you my latest secret invention, dad. This amazing new shaving cream. You didn't have time to shave today, dad, because you worked all night. Wait till you see how it works. Well, it's Nair. He's invented. Nair? [00:22:23] Speaker F: Yeah. Depilatory cream. [00:22:25] Speaker C: You think someone. Of [00:22:26] Speaker F: course, you don't use it on your face. No. At least not on Earth, because it'll burn your skin. [00:22:30] Speaker C: Well, this is the planet Krypton, which is a very different planet than Earth, where you are allowed to use Nair on your face. [00:22:38] Speaker F: Okay. [00:22:39] Speaker C: And it does not burn. Amazingly. The beard stubble is gone. [00:22:44] Speaker F: Yes. [00:22:45] Speaker C: Once he wipes off the cream, his mother declares him brilliant. If only you weren't so reckless. And why, son, why don't you let me tell the world about your wonderful inventions and discoveries? [00:22:57] Speaker F: Not yet. They'd refuse to believe I'm this clever. I'll let you know when I'm good and ready. Oh, with my recovery from my cold I'm making, I may have a nice teen voice. [00:23:08] Speaker C: Well, behind his bedroom door, we learn the awful truth. [00:23:11] Speaker F: Oh, what a joke on my parents. Wouldn't they be shocked if they knew that I steal my inventions by snooping in the laboratory of the father of one of my friends. [00:23:23] Speaker C: This way, whenever I get into trouble, my folks think it may be because I'm an eccentric genius. Someday I'll steal a really important new invention and announce it as my own. I'll become rich overnight. [00:23:34] Speaker F: Later that day, Dev M joins his two cronies, Raph F And Norgar. [00:23:39] Speaker C: They sound like trouble. Mm. They all put on diving helmets and get into these bubble subs. [00:23:47] Speaker F: Bubble subs. [00:23:48] Speaker C: And go under the sea to buzz a submarine liner. [00:23:52] Speaker F: Wow. Those crazy kids are ignoring our appeals to stop bothering us. They're terrifying the passengers. Alert the sea police. The sea police? [00:24:01] Speaker C: The sea police. Well, [00:24:02] Speaker F: it's the coast Guard, really. [00:24:03] Speaker C: Sure. The sea police arrive and these boys fire chemical pellets through the water jets which color the water behind them so that the police can't see them. And they think [00:24:13] Speaker F: of an ink trail behind an octopus. [00:24:16] Speaker C: This is my favorite panel that evening as Ron M and his family visit Jor El's family next door. They are playing [00:24:30] Speaker F: interplanetary Scramble [00:24:31] Speaker C: Scrabble, which is fine. We often get together with friends to play games. [00:24:36] Speaker F: Yes, [00:24:36] Speaker C: but we play our games on a tabletop, not with a giant Scrabble board mounted on the wall where [00:24:43] Speaker F: you shoot with via cannon, individual letters onto a giant wall sized chart. [00:24:49] Speaker C: Metal Alphabet letters. Now they are playing Scrabble in languages of seven different worlds. So that's a little bit more of a challenge. Still, I [00:25:01] Speaker F: wonder how long it would take our friend to explain those rules. [00:25:06] Speaker C: I would argue that this could be just as effectively played on a tabletop without firing missiles. Because what if you get the letter in the wrong square? You have to aim and fire and get it on the correct square and then add up points. It's. That's too much trouble. And what if they've been drinking? [00:25:28] Speaker F: If it was your parents, they would be drinking. [00:25:31] Speaker C: Well, it's the 60s. Everyone's parents were drinking. [00:25:35] Speaker F: So of course Dev M hasn't taken the time to learn all these different languages. He finds the whole all boring. So he decides to leave and they're like, let him go next door to babysit for a little while or to check in on Kal El who's playing with his. With. With Crypto. But like, they're letting the boy who almost ran over Kal El. Yes. Go next door, babysit and babysit. [00:25:59] Speaker C: Well, now Crypto's there. And you know my mother, she [00:26:03] Speaker F: leaves you with the [00:26:03] Speaker C: dog. She just put me out in my playpen in the backyard with the dog out there while nobody dare come near me with that dog out there. And he wasn't even super powered. [00:26:11] Speaker F: No. [00:26:13] Speaker C: All right. Crypto's playing with a robot dog. Devm is instantly bored and wishes he was with his pals. But his pals are right outside waiting for Him. Which devm knows because they're firing rifles into the air. These are those beige boys. [00:26:30] Speaker F: Beige boys? Yep. [00:26:32] Speaker C: Rathf and Norgar would like devm to come outside. Devim slips away for some real fun. Which involves flying around [00:26:43] Speaker F: and breaking windows. In a school? [00:26:44] Speaker C: Yep. They've got anti gravity belts. They fly around, break windows. They free some animals from the zoo, [00:26:52] Speaker F: some of which are dangerous. [00:26:53] Speaker C: Yes, like the metal eater. Luckily, all the zoo animals wear electric collars which emit gas which incapacitates the animals when they escape. [00:27:03] Speaker F: I'm assuming. But putting them to sleep doesn't literally mean killing them all. [00:27:07] Speaker C: No. Yes. Correct. [00:27:09] Speaker F: Then there's a Kryptonian hall of Learning where scholarly scholars are lying. They're both all laying down in beds. Yeah. They're all wearing headsets and they're being fed knowledge from earphones connected to recording tapes. [00:27:21] Speaker C: Great dream. A dream of the future. I wish it happened now. Dev M and his pals find the control room and they, instead of knowledge, impart loud static into these scholars. Later, after Ron M and his family retire for the evening. Did I ever tell you about Butch and Camellia? [00:27:46] Speaker F: The names sound familiar. [00:27:48] Speaker C: When I was. This was after I was out of college or while I was in college, my parents got new neighbors. Butch Camellia, who moved into Hazel Devitt's house. [00:27:57] Speaker F: Right. Which I've seen. Yes, the witch. Oh, she had witch hair. She had [00:28:01] Speaker C: witch hair. She wasn't really a witch. But Camellia would come over to play cards and they'd stay till like 4 or 5 in the morning. Well, my father was retired, but my mother wasn't. She had to get up and go to work. [00:28:15] Speaker F: Stay [00:28:15] Speaker C: at Highlights for Children. [00:28:16] Speaker F: Good Lord. [00:28:17] Speaker C: I know. [00:28:18] Speaker F: And you know, they would drink him like guards. [00:28:20] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, [00:28:21] Speaker F: yeah. [00:28:22] Speaker C: They just wouldn't ever leave. [00:28:26] Speaker F: Whatever happened to Butch? And commit. I never heard your parents talk about them. They must not have been that good friends. [00:28:30] Speaker C: Well, I think they got tired of them coming over and not ever leaving. Oh, [00:28:34] Speaker F: yeah. [00:28:34] Speaker C: So [00:28:35] Speaker F: we had. We had friends in Jacksonville that would host porch parties. [00:28:42] Speaker C: Yes. [00:28:42] Speaker F: That would go on until the wee hours of the morning. Right? Yeah. He would just have to leave. And we would leave and they'd say, oh, come on, can't you guys stay? And I'm like, it's midnight. I have to be at work tomorrow. And they would do this nigh on every night. [00:28:58] Speaker C: Well, it was a great porch. [00:29:00] Speaker F: It was a great porch. [00:29:02] Speaker C: All right. Dev M's in trouble with the police. Specifically the Wayward Youth Police Patrol. [00:29:10] Speaker F: Your sister knows all about that. [00:29:11] Speaker C: Yes. All right. He's been in trouble with them before and they have brought an aura lie detector to quickly determine his present innocence or guilt. [00:29:22] Speaker F: I wish I had one of those. [00:29:25] Speaker C: All right. Is your name devem? Yes. [00:29:28] Speaker F: It glows a light blue. [00:29:31] Speaker C: Did you and your friends commit destructive acts tonight? [00:29:34] Speaker F: No, I didn't. Oh no, what's the use? My rainbow colored aura gives me away. [00:29:39] Speaker C: Devm, if you were an adult, you'd be banished into the other dimensional Phantom Zone as punishment for your reckless mischief. This is your final warning. One more misdeed and you'll be severely punished. Oh [00:29:50] Speaker F: no. [00:29:51] Speaker C: So they're putting juveniles into the Phantom Zone? No, all of those murderers. [00:29:55] Speaker F: If you were an adult. If you were. Oh, [00:29:57] Speaker C: if you were an adult. Okay. Well, he's going to be severely punished nonetheless. [00:30:04] Speaker F: He's so evil. He [00:30:06] Speaker C: is. He's a liar. [00:30:07] Speaker F: He's a liar. God, he's just like Joey. Paige [00:30:10] Speaker C: and his parents are enabling him because they, they believe him that he's going to give up his life of crime. [00:30:15] Speaker F: Well, that's how kids get into crime and drugs and all sorts of things. [00:30:18] Speaker C: Next day, Ron M's family hears a shocking announcement by Jor El announcing the imminent destruction of Krypton. Their only hope is to escape in rocket ships. [00:30:29] Speaker F: The father of, of Ron M believes him. [00:30:32] Speaker C: Yeah, [00:30:33] Speaker F: he said there are some who scoff, but I believe him. He's our leading, our planet's leading scientist. [00:30:38] Speaker C: Well, Dev M decides to break into Jor El's laboratory and get the design for the rocket. Meanwhile, sensing an intruder, Krypto the puppy wakes up baby Kal El. You know I love Krypto, but I think he should have woken the parents. [00:30:56] Speaker F: Well, [00:30:57] Speaker C: not the baby. [00:30:58] Speaker F: Yeah, but tonight it's still. We have a positive outcome. [00:31:03] Speaker C: Well, we do. Cause Kal El recognizes Devim, goes, gets his father. His father comes and catches devem red handed and [00:31:11] Speaker F: stealing from the laboratory, [00:31:12] Speaker C: kicks him out on the street. [00:31:14] Speaker F: But he says, I'll keep quiet about this because I think so highly of your parents. That's [00:31:18] Speaker C: a mistake. [00:31:19] Speaker F: That's 1960s thinking. [00:31:21] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh no. [00:31:22] Speaker F: 50s [00:31:24] Speaker C: maybe. But if you did something bad in my neighborhood when I was growing up in the 70s, if a neighbor saw you, your parents were getting a call. [00:31:32] Speaker F: Oh hell yeah. Yeah, [00:31:34] Speaker C: no matter who they were. One time my sister was hanging out on the street corner with some other kids who were smoking. She was not smoking. [00:31:46] Speaker F: So the story goes. [00:31:48] Speaker C: No, I believe that she was not. The geometry professor was driving down the street and saw her hanging with These kids and called my parents to tell them. [00:31:59] Speaker F: Yeah, well, they were just right down the street from the school. [00:32:02] Speaker C: Well, yes, it's [00:32:03] Speaker F: a very close neighborhood. [00:32:04] Speaker C: Very, very small town. [00:32:05] Speaker F: Yeah, [00:32:07] Speaker C: in the middle of a big city. [00:32:08] Speaker F: I love Columbus. I love your stories of Columbus. Sure, I love them. I love them. [00:32:16] Speaker C: Later, Devim returns home and we see that he has stolen the plans. He learns that Jor El believes that when Krypton blows up, the nuclear explosion will change the planet's fragments into green Kryptonite. Whose radiations will be deadly to all inhabitants of Krypton. Since not even cosmic rays can penetrate lead, he thinks kryptonite radiations won't pass through lead either. So Jor El's going to try to escape from our doomed world in a rocket ship he's experimenting with, eh? [00:32:46] Speaker F: Yeah. Hmm. [00:32:48] Speaker C: That bomb shelter in our yard to be used in case of attack by aliens from outer space. Gives me an idea. Jor El and his family won't be the only ones to escape from this world. I'll escape too. Ha ha ha ha. So we have a thievery montage. [00:33:03] Speaker F: Yes. [00:33:04] Speaker C: Stealing lead plating and rocket tubes. Oxygen purifying equipment, suspended animation devices, concentrated food pills, water manufacturing machine. And unseen beneath the opaque dome, Devm works busily until one day he has built a completed protective dome. [00:33:23] Speaker F: Now here is something. This kid, even though he's evil, has an idea to protect himself and the lives of his parents. Yes. And in so doing builds up a world destruction proof escape room. [00:33:39] Speaker C: Yeah, [00:33:40] Speaker F: with life sustaining equipment. Think of what the good that this person could have done if he had somehow had some sort of foundational shaking of his. Of his ego. Yeah, yeah, but no, no, [00:33:55] Speaker C: no. [00:33:55] Speaker F: All that talent wasted. [00:33:59] Speaker C: The day comes when [00:34:00] Speaker F: am I thinking about Lex Luthor's Lex Luthor? Of course. [00:34:05] Speaker C: The day comes when Krypton's exploding. What we don't see is in the meantime, Crypto has been sent up in a test rocket and it's on his way to Earth. Jor El did not have time to build a big enough rocket for his whole family. So he has to send baby Kal El off by himself. Also, the rest of the planet does not believe Jor El. [00:34:27] Speaker F: Right. [00:34:28] Speaker C: They're not prepared for the destruction [00:34:30] Speaker F: as we saw in the movie. [00:34:31] Speaker C: Yes, but [00:34:32] Speaker F: it's also comic lore, comic canon. [00:34:35] Speaker C: Meanwhile, next door, devem gets his parents into this dome, straps them into suspended animation where they will all be physically unchanged as the years pass them by, they will come to life again many years later. Meanwhile, astronauts from other Worlds may find us drifting through space and rescue us. Otherwise, when we revive, we'll use our rockets to land on a nearby world. Father still is proud. He thinks that Devin planned this all himself. And out they go. [00:35:12] Speaker F: Moments later, after they all black out, Krypton explodes and the planet's fragments are transformed into green Kryptonite. Which is kind of interesting because we know there are different forms of Kryptonite, so not the entire planet isn't transform. Well, [00:35:30] Speaker C: the other forms happen because the green Kryptonite passes through space. [00:35:36] Speaker F: Cosmic raids and [00:35:37] Speaker C: warps and things so that nature [00:35:40] Speaker F: change the principle. [00:35:41] Speaker C: Yes, we all know Kal El's rocket lands on Earth, where he's found and adopted by the kindly couple. Mom, Pa. Kent. We know too, that Kal El gained superpowers on Earth due to our lesser gravitation and radiations from our yellow sun. And that the Kents raised him to become super. But what of Devim and his family during the years after Krypton's explosion, while they existed in a state of suspended animation inside the shelter, not aging while Kal El grew into the teenage Superboy? Well, lots of things happened to them. Until finally, years later, when Superboy is famed all over the Earth. The vehicle safely lands on Earth, its descent cushioned by automatically operating rockets. The landing jolts DEVM's suspended animation equipment, awakening the long slumbering youth. And he realizes immediately that he has superpowers. While his parents are still in suspended animation, [00:36:34] Speaker F: he doesn't know where he is. [00:36:36] Speaker C: Not for [00:36:37] Speaker F: long. But he figures it out soon. He's on Earth. Superboy is Kal El grown up. So they love him and honor him, eh? I'll change all that. [00:36:46] Speaker C: He knows this because Superboy's receiving some kind of celebratory cup. And there's a statue of Jor El, Lara and baby Kal El on Krypton. So, using some materials he'd stored in the bomb shelter vessel, the Kryptonian knave swiftly creates a lifelike plastic mask of Superboy. He next hollows out a large boulder, coating it with chemicals that set its outside ablaze. And he pretends he's a meteor flies over to where Superboy is getting this medal. The meteor swerves and heads back in the opposite direction. Superboy follows, and shortly, as they near the bomb shelter ship, the meteor bursts open and Dev M reveals himself. Superboy's memory is jogged. He remembers Devim as a wild Kryptonian youth that I knew many years ago. You haven't aged a day Devim [00:37:54] Speaker F: Sneeringly, the rascally Super Lad reveals how he and his parents survived the destruction of Krypton and came to Earth in a state of suspended animation. But [00:38:03] Speaker C: recognize this machine, Superboy? I brought it with me from Krypton. It's a punishment ray. Now to touch this black button and send you into the Phantom Zone. [00:38:12] Speaker F: No, I'm disappearing. [00:38:14] Speaker C: D d d d d Disappearing. So Superboy is a phantom. He can only observe what's happening in the outside world. He watches Devm slip on the plastic mask which he'd prepared earlier. Devem goes to Spirit Halloween and gets Superboy costume. Then, into an empty laboratory, he creates a chemical solution, dips the Super Bowl Superboy masquerade costume into it to make the costume super resistant to friction, and heads out on the town disguised as Superboy. He lands outside the Kent General Store where Pa Kent comes out and whispers, I'm proud to be your father, Clark. Which reveals Superboy's secret identity to, [00:39:06] Speaker F: of course, Phantom Zone. Superboy can just go along and observe everything. He can't do anything. [00:39:11] Speaker C: Correct. [00:39:14] Speaker F: Excuse me. [00:39:14] Speaker C: Dev? M trails Pa to the Kent home and discovers the secret entrance in the basement. He also fools Ma. And later, in Superboy's secret trophy room, Devm starts destroying trophies. I'm tired of this kid stuff, Ma. Kent asks him to wind the mantle clock, which he does by twisting it out of shape, also upsetting his parents. [00:39:47] Speaker F: He says he Paul chides him for it. [00:39:50] Speaker C: Yes. [00:39:50] Speaker F: And. And then he says he feels like exercising. And then breaks his father's favorite chair. Breaks Superboy's father's [00:39:56] Speaker C: favorite chair. Well, Paul's not going to put up that he's going to spank this child, which doesn't work because his skin is harder than steel. [00:40:06] Speaker F: Right. [00:40:07] Speaker C: Devm announces as Superboy that I'm sick of being goody goody. From now on, things will be different. [00:40:14] Speaker F: And he flies out the window, risking that his identity will be seen by others. [00:40:19] Speaker C: Yes. Well, luckily the street's deserted. [00:40:21] Speaker F: Right. [00:40:22] Speaker C: But he's. The worst part is that he's made Superboy's parents think that he's disobedient. Shortly, Smallville's mayor dedicates a new library building, which Devim fouls up and then blows the empty library into space. Among the shocked onlookers is Lana Lang, who is, of course, Superboy's girlfriend, and she's trying to talk some sense into him. Superboy, you were making everyone hate you. [00:40:57] Speaker F: Well, then he takes a bag of cement. [00:41:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:00] Speaker F: Throws it up into the air and Throws a rock at it, which then dispenses cement all over everybody. Everybody. Yes. [00:41:08] Speaker C: Well, he's ruining Superboy's reputation. [00:41:10] Speaker F: Yeah, [00:41:11] Speaker C: he buzzes an air show, it almost makes the planes crash. He [00:41:18] Speaker F: goes down to the air show. Well, [00:41:20] Speaker C: he just does a lot of, yeah, [00:41:21] Speaker F: evil. Evil stuff like kick blows dust in people's faces, releases creatures from a space circus that's flying by the Earth. Takes these, these very powerful creatures to Earth to wreak havoc on them. One goes to a swimming pool where the kids are having fun and the, the creature freezes the pool. Another goes to a shipyard where ships are being repaired and it heats up and melts this, this ship in the ships into slag. Everybody's upset. The Kents, the parents, they're just so. They don't know what's wrong with their boy. He's evil. They think their boys turn evil. [00:42:01] Speaker C: Luckily, somehow Superboy escapes from the Phantom Zone. [00:42:09] Speaker F: But we know how it happened. [00:42:11] Speaker C: Dev M releases him. [00:42:12] Speaker F: Yes, [00:42:13] Speaker C: now that his reputation is destroyed. [00:42:15] Speaker F: Exactly. He says, what will bring me so much joy is because your worst punishment is now about to begin. When you see how everyone hates you, you'll learn what real suffering is. I've returned you to your Earth because your life here will be a thousand times more unpleasant for you than mere banishment to the Phantom Zone. Lifting the weird bomb shelter spaceship overhead, devm super streaks upward with it. Goodbye, Superboy. I'm flying off to a bright future and leaving you stranded here amidst your heartbreaking, unbearable present day world. Bye bye. Bye bye. [00:42:48] Speaker C: He vanishes at super speed along with his ship into the time barrier. [00:42:52] Speaker F: Yeah, [00:42:53] Speaker C: well, Superboy is just going to go back to Smallville and clear his name. But not so fast, Superboy. [00:42:59] Speaker F: Why can't Superboy go back in time to when the right before Krypton was destroyed and warn people that it really is going to happen? Or save his parents at least? [00:43:14] Speaker C: Well, because if he did go back in time, first of all, technically you can't exist with yourself in the same time period. So he would be a phantom if he were to go to the past. Also, if he overcame that, he would be on Krypton where he had no superpower, so he probably would already die. Also, And didn't something, didn't Jimmy try that a few weeks ago, Jimmy Olsen tried to go back in time and save Krypton, but didn't work out because you can't change the past. [00:43:50] Speaker F: Yeah, [00:43:52] Speaker C: all right, Mom. Paul Kenner, not having it. How dare you show your face in this house again after the Things you've said and done. We're gonna call the juvenile Delinquent police Squad. [00:44:02] Speaker F: Well, they can't. He's a superhero. Or super being. [00:44:06] Speaker C: Superboy explains that he was trapped in the Phantom Zone, and that was devm the knave from Krypton impersonating me and doing all those acts of super vandalism. He tries to tell everyone in the whole town, but he's ordered to leave Earth. He's [00:44:20] Speaker F: a liar. He's a liar. Get off. We hate the sight of you. [00:44:22] Speaker C: Mayor of Smallville has ordered you to leave Earth, so you better do it. [00:44:28] Speaker F: So Mr. Parker says, least be gentleman enough to return the trophy cup with which you were honored at the pageant. Bring it here before sundown, [00:44:35] Speaker C: Choke. I will. Chief Parker, [00:44:38] Speaker F: returning home, Superboy sadly packs his belongings. Oh, in a suitcase. They didn't believe me, Ma. They ordered me to leave Earth. I don't want to stay in a world that loathes me. As [00:44:50] Speaker C: if being a teenager wasn't hard enough, later that afternoon, he gives back the trophy cup. There's a fire truck emergency racing down the street, But Superboy is told in no uncertain terms that they don't need his help. Now, Chief Parker, meanwhile, pours some acid on this cup for some reason and discovers that it's actually made of red kryptonite. [00:45:18] Speaker F: Right. [00:45:19] Speaker C: That must explain Superboy's behavior, because it always affects Superboy unpredictably. And this time, exposure to it made him act like a criminal. Fortunately, each piece of red kryptonite can affect him only one time. [00:45:32] Speaker F: Then you weren't to blame for your actions, Superboy. You're forgiven. Don't leave the Earth [00:45:39] Speaker C: now. Meanwhile, Chief Parker takes Superboy aside, and Superboy says, chief Parker, I have to tell you something. My microscopic vision revealed that the red substance under the plating wasn't red kryptonite. It was ordinary red clay. [00:45:55] Speaker F: I knew that. I believed your story about Dev M. And so, while you were gone, I had that fake red kryptonite cup quickly prepared. I secretly arranged with the fire chief for that fire truck to speed by so its sirens would distract everyone when I switched the cups. [00:46:08] Speaker C: Chief Parker. Yeah. How fortunate that he believed you and made it possible for you to remain on Earth because of his clever trick. [00:46:16] Speaker F: And the last thing young Superboy says. Someday I'll journey into the future and even the score with devm. Meanwhile, I'll repair the damage he caused. [00:46:28] Speaker C: So devem does go to the future. To the 30th century. [00:46:31] Speaker F: Okay. [00:46:32] Speaker C: He starts working for some like CIA, like organization. In the 30th century, he does interact with the legion of Superheroes. He turns out to not be all that bad until he destroys the moon. And all the major cities on Earth have to be covered in domes and float out into space. [00:46:55] Speaker F: Oh, no. [00:46:56] Speaker C: Yeah, but that was after the crisis. I'm not sure it was this. [00:47:00] Speaker F: What do you mean? All the major cities on Earth have to be covered by domes and flown down to space. [00:47:06] Speaker C: So all the major cities on Earth have to be covered in domes and they link up in, like, a giant space station kind of situation because also, the Earth is destroyed, also. So it's just all these cities floating around in space. But as I say, that's after the crisis. I'm not entirely clear on the whole chain of events. And also, devm, at some point, is no longer from Krypton. He's from Daxam, which is where Monel is from. [00:47:34] Speaker F: Right. [00:47:36] Speaker C: I'm so pleased that you just said. Right, like, everything I said made sense. [00:47:41] Speaker F: Well, you know, Redcon [00:47:44] Speaker C: 80 page giant. You know what that means? There's more than one story. [00:47:46] Speaker F: There sure is. [00:47:47] Speaker C: Introducing a criminal canine of Steel, Destructo. The sinister story Superdog is as evil as Krypto is good. And when he teams up with Superboy's archenemy, Lex Luthor, it's only natural for Destructo to become Crypto's arch enemy. One day, as Superboy plays super games with Crypto out in space, [00:48:09] Speaker F: they're. They're chasing after a comet. [00:48:12] Speaker C: Yeah. Great Scott. Superboy sees a planet which reveals a strange secret. He must go there at once. [00:48:20] Speaker F: Shortly after, as Krypto follows his master to a nearby planet, just as our native Krypton was destroyed by an internal explosion. This planet will soon be smashed. Crypto. I'm going to spend the next few days transporting the entire population and their belongings to a safe planet. And you take my place on Earth. [00:48:39] Speaker C: Like, all their belongings. Like, if their planet's going to be destroyed, they don't. They can't just pick, like, their favorite thing to [00:48:48] Speaker F: take their belongings. Well, I mean, if my mom was on that planet. [00:48:50] Speaker C: Oh, good God. [00:48:51] Speaker F: All right. He would have had to have taken all of her Beanie Babies. [00:48:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:54] Speaker F: And all of her collectibles, whatnot. [00:48:57] Speaker C: She collected gourds. Listener. [00:49:00] Speaker F: Yeah. One time there was a massive wildfire in Florida, and my parents asked to come stay with your parents. And we were living with your parents at that time. [00:49:12] Speaker C: Yes. [00:49:12] Speaker F: And your parents had the room, but it was like, oh, God, it was my Mother, my stepfather, my grandmother, my step uncle, his wife, the wife's mother and my sister [00:49:28] Speaker C: and the [00:49:29] Speaker F: pets [00:49:29] Speaker C: and this, the uncle's stepson. [00:49:32] Speaker F: Oh God, was it? And. And then my mother shows up with my stepfather and she's taken all of her collectibles. [00:49:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:42] Speaker F: And piled them in. In boxes and storage. [00:49:47] Speaker C: Storage bins. [00:49:49] Speaker F: Onto the back of a trailer and hauled them up to your parents house. Which we had to pull a car out to back it in there and load everything off the trailer into my. Into your parents garage and honest to God, it was like Beanie Babies and gourds. Gourds, yeah. [00:50:08] Speaker C: Those were the days though. [00:50:10] Speaker F: Were they? [00:50:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:12] Speaker F: Why? [00:50:13] Speaker C: I don't know, it just was. It's a simpler time. The mid-90s, [00:50:19] Speaker F: it did didn't seem simpler. [00:50:22] Speaker C: Not at the time. But in hindsight [00:50:26] Speaker F: I remember how we [00:50:27] Speaker C: had to laugh about [00:50:27] Speaker F: it. Having. Having all those people in your house and having to help, you know, look after them and take care of them. [00:50:34] Speaker C: Sure. [00:50:35] Speaker F: I was so mad at my mother for grabbing all that and bringing it up to your parents house. [00:50:42] Speaker C: Well, it wasn't so bad in hindsight. [00:50:45] Speaker F: Well, yeah. All those people are dead now. [00:50:48] Speaker C: Yes. [00:50:48] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:50:50] Speaker C: Not your stepfather. [00:50:51] Speaker F: No. God love him. I just spoke with him. I [00:50:54] Speaker C: know. Anyway, all these people are going to be dead if Superboy doesn't get their Beanie Babies off world in time. So next morning, Krypto's patrolling Smallville, secure in the knowledge that Superboy has confidence in his ability to stop crime. But in a wooden shack on an outlying farm, another Smallville lad and his dog are together. It's Lex Luthor and his dog, Wolf. Now we say a lot of bad things about Lex Luthor since he's an arch villain. But anyone who loves a dog can't be all that bad. [00:51:34] Speaker F: He hits him in the next page. [00:51:36] Speaker C: Oh, right, right, right. But he's petting him here. [00:51:40] Speaker F: Yeah, [00:51:41] Speaker C: on the first panel. Then [00:51:42] Speaker F: he teaches his dog to do evil things. Bad, bad crimes. [00:51:47] Speaker C: Well, I [00:51:48] Speaker F: mean, [00:51:48] Speaker C: doesn't denote a lack of love. Yes, dear reader, it's Luther, Superman's arch enemy to be. As you surely know, when he was a teenager he had been an admirer of Superboy's until one fateful day in the past when Superboy [00:52:07] Speaker F: on fire and Superboy saved [00:52:08] Speaker C: his life. But made him bald. [00:52:10] Speaker F: Yeah, apparently he knocked over, smashed an acid bottle against the bottle of kryptonite antidote that Luther was working on for Superboy and it made him bald. [00:52:25] Speaker C: And that's why he turned evil. [00:52:26] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:52:29] Speaker C: If only he'd known that being bald would be fashionable in the future. [00:52:32] Speaker F: Yeah, he didn't know it. [00:52:35] Speaker C: All right. Luther has invented a machine that will give him superpowers. Unfortunately, the dog jumps in the way of the machine Ray, [00:52:46] Speaker F: as dogs do. [00:52:48] Speaker C: Yes, and he [00:52:50] Speaker F: calls the dog a miserable cur bob. And then smacks the dog across his back. [00:52:56] Speaker C: Well, but the dog has superpowers now, so he's unharmed. [00:52:59] Speaker F: Still, I don't think Luther's. I don't care that he loves. I'm using air quotes. His dog, he's evil person. [00:53:09] Speaker C: Now, Luther quickly realizes that Wolf was subjected to the raise, which means he has superpowers. However, he's devoted to me and will do whatever I say. This will be almost as good as my having superpowers. But first, I must train him. [00:53:26] Speaker F: So young Luther grimly puts his super dog through a series of intensive training maneuvers, like jumping up to the. He projects images of bones on clouds, and the dog jumps up. [00:53:38] Speaker C: It's like a bone signal. [00:53:39] Speaker F: Yeah. Then he also bury. He takes his dog's food, right? Bowl walls it in in a brick structure, and the dog has to smash through the brick structure to get his food. [00:53:49] Speaker C: Well, that's. That's just a food game. We do that with Junebug. We cover up the food so she has to dig for it. [00:53:55] Speaker F: Okay, remember that time that we took a cannon and shot it at Junebug? Oh, no, you don't. Because here's one. Here's an image of him shooting a cannon at his dog. A cannonball bouncing off the dog. He's [00:54:09] Speaker C: got superpowers. He knows it's not gonna hurt him. [00:54:11] Speaker F: Poor dog. [00:54:13] Speaker C: Well, I'm gonna change your name anyway, Wolf. From now on, you'll be known as Destructo. And just as Krypto has a costume, I have made one for you. Do you like it? See, he's concerned about whether the dog would like his costume or not. [00:54:26] Speaker F: But then he puts on a mock costume. [00:54:28] Speaker C: Then he puts on a crypto cape to try to fool the population that Destructo flying around is Crypto, which. Who would be fooled? Because this is an orange dog. [00:54:39] Speaker F: Yeah, it's like a [00:54:40] Speaker C: long hair orange and Krypto's short hair white. [00:54:45] Speaker F: And his dog is bigger than Krypto's. [00:54:48] Speaker C: Yes. So Destructo goes flying around, he steals a mirror, [00:54:54] Speaker F: and people do confuse. [00:54:56] Speaker C: Yeah, [00:54:57] Speaker F: Destructo for Crypto. [00:54:59] Speaker C: Great Scott. A fisherman on riverbank says, Crypto stealing that giant mirror. I'd better warn the police. He's gone berserk. While Presently, the whole town's buzzing with excitement. They think Crypto is the thief. [00:55:16] Speaker F: Why does Destructo melt down a statue of Superboy? [00:55:27] Speaker C: Because he dives into the molten metal. [00:55:29] Speaker F: Oh, to cover himself in metal to look like, [00:55:32] Speaker C: so that he can steal a [00:55:33] Speaker F: giant magnet. Magnet, Yes. [00:55:35] Speaker C: I don't know why he couldn't just fly through the window and steal the magnet. Seems awfully elaborate. [00:55:40] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:55:44] Speaker C: All right. Whoever the magnet was stolen from alerts the police that a trophy was stolen from the museum. [00:55:52] Speaker F: Sorry about the coughing. [00:55:54] Speaker C: A delegation of citizens then visits Police Chief Parker and demands him to act. Otherwise, the whole town will be at the mercy of Crypto. That super dog has gone mad and we need protection. [00:56:09] Speaker F: That dog must be put down. The dog needs to be destroyed. [00:56:13] Speaker C: Now, Chief Parker is one of three people who can contact Superboy on the secret radio beam which can reach Superboy in his secret room, which is in the basement of the Kent House. Nobody knows that. Who are the other people you ask, I believe. I [00:56:30] Speaker F: didn't ask. [00:56:30] Speaker C: The mayor of Smallville and the President of the United States. [00:56:33] Speaker F: I didn't ask. [00:56:34] Speaker C: Okay. Well, now you know. He is. Of course. Superboy's off world transporting people and their Beanie Babies from one planet to another. He's also transporting all the buildings. That's helpful. [00:56:51] Speaker F: Yeah, yeah. So they won't have to be setting up. Set themselves up on a planet with nothing. [00:56:56] Speaker C: Right. And they won't have to crate up their precious things. They'll just leave them right in the. Where they are. Probably on the shelf [00:57:05] Speaker F: on the display case. [00:57:06] Speaker C: Yeah, [00:57:06] Speaker F: yeah. [00:57:07] Speaker C: They might have to dust or something when they get to their new planet, but it will save a lot of time for them. Chief Parker is unsuccessful in contacting Superboy. Chief Parker visits Professor Evans because he understands that Professor Evans has been working on an antidote for kryptonite and has a small piece of kryptonite in his possession. [00:57:33] Speaker F: Right. [00:57:33] Speaker C: For the sake of the town's safety, I'm asking you to turn it over to me to defend against Crypto. Now, Crypto is none the wiser. He flies into town, populous population starts screaming and running away. Chief Parker arrives with a piece of kryptonite, and luckily, Krypto is able to get away without being harmed. He hides himself in a giant rock on the outskirts of town, [00:58:05] Speaker F: uses his super hearing and super sight to find out what's going on. [00:58:11] Speaker C: And he finds out that he's being accused of heinous crimes which he did not commit. [00:58:15] Speaker F: So he goes into detective mode. [00:58:17] Speaker C: Now, Detective [00:58:18] Speaker F: Dog Mode, [00:58:18] Speaker C: Detective dog mode. Now, here's a clue. A melted down statue of Superboy. [00:58:24] Speaker F: Right. Well, he follows the scent, sniffing the air for the anal glands of [00:58:33] Speaker C: Destructo. He picks up supercent, follows it to Luther's lab shack. He [00:58:40] Speaker F: doesn't say anal glands, but of course we know. No, [00:58:42] Speaker C: of course we know. That's what you could be able to easily trail. I think I could trail that smell. Now, he quickly surmises that Luther has used his scientific genius to give his dog superpowers. And he's got a plan. Krypto flies into town, breaks into the Kent store, steals a bag of coins, bites a hole in the bottom so that he's flying while dropping a trail of coins from the Kent store to the outskirts of town. Chief Parker says maybe this will lead us to Krypto's other loot. And when they arrive, they find Luther and Destructo. Chief Parker instantly realizes the truth, that Krypto is not responsible for all these crimes. But just then, Krypto and Destructo launch into a mighty dog fight. [00:59:44] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:59:44] Speaker C: For hours, [00:59:45] Speaker F: hours, [00:59:46] Speaker C: the two dogs of Steel wage super combat until Krypto sees a plane in trouble. He must help. [00:59:52] Speaker F: Well, of course. And the cops are taking Lex Luthor away to reform. [00:59:56] Speaker C: Yes. All right. Krypto rescues the plane, Destructo escapes. [01:00:03] Speaker F: Destructo tries to free Lex, but Lex says, no, no, don't tear the bars off because the cops might shoot me. [01:00:11] Speaker C: Right. [01:00:11] Speaker F: Tunnel through the ground. [01:00:13] Speaker C: Yep. Well, Krypto tunnels the other way and [01:00:20] Speaker F: he's going to flood the tunnel. [01:00:21] Speaker C: Floods it with water from the river. [01:00:24] Speaker F: And then Destructo gets the idea to set a chemical plant on fire. [01:00:27] Speaker C: Yeah, cool, cool, cool. Well, Crypto just uses this super digging power to put the fire out, [01:00:34] Speaker F: right? Then Crypto sucks up the fumes. No, [01:00:37] Speaker C: Destructo. [01:00:38] Speaker F: Destructo sucks up the fumes from the fire and then breathes them onto the school or the prison where he's being held. The reform school, I guess, where Lex Luthor's being held. Lex Luthor jumps on the back of his trusty dog and flies out. [01:00:55] Speaker C: So they prepare for Crypto to follow them. He gets all his lab equipment set up. He's made some slight changes in his superpower ray machine. Although I can no longer use it to give superpowers, I can use it to take away superpowers and also to transfer them. I'm transferring your powers to Destructo. Now, he is twice as super as he was. And you have only normal dog Strength. And so Destructo uses his super super breath to blow Crypto out of the area and to a nearby farm. Now, Krypto apparently did not lose his super intellect because he realizes that without superpowers, the kryptonite, which Chief Parker borrowed from Professor Evans, is not going to harm him. But because Destructo has double superpowers, the Kryptonite will double harm him. [01:01:54] Speaker F: That doesn't make any sense. [01:01:55] Speaker C: It doesn't? [01:01:56] Speaker F: No. [01:01:57] Speaker C: But it does get Destructo out of the way. Destructo is dying of kryptonite poisoning. Lex wants to snatch the Kryptonite away, but he can't because Krypto is standing guard. There's only one thing for me to do. I'll have to return Krypto's powers. So Destructo has only single superpowers. That way, he won't be doubly susceptible to the kryptonite. You see, he does love Destructo. [01:02:26] Speaker F: Yes, he does. [01:02:28] Speaker C: Now, suddenly, Superboy arrives, having transported the entire. Transported the entire population of this other planet to a new planet with all of their beanie babies. Krypto kicks the Kryptonite away so it won't harm Superboy. And Superboy returns Destructo to normal and returns Luther to reform school. Well, where does Destructo go? He's learned all this evil, now he's gonna have to be rehabilitated. Yeah. Maybe he can go to that new planet. [01:03:04] Speaker F: Oh, and be an awesome dog. [01:03:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:03:06] Speaker F: Yeah, [01:03:07] Speaker C: somebody will want him, [01:03:09] Speaker F: I'm sure. [01:03:10] Speaker C: Now, Luther does still have parents here in town. And a sister. [01:03:15] Speaker F: Oh, [01:03:16] Speaker C: maybe they'll keep him. [01:03:17] Speaker F: He doesn't live in a shack. [01:03:20] Speaker C: Well, I think that. I think it's like a Robbie Reed situation. A lab shack out behind the house. All right, [01:03:25] Speaker F: all right, all right. [01:03:29] Speaker C: Presently, when Superboy and Krypto are alone again, I sure am proud of you, Krypto. What a dog I have. Hey, don't wag that tail so fast. Want to be a real menace and start a tornado? [01:03:47] Speaker F: We aren't done yet, are we? [01:03:48] Speaker C: We aren't? [01:03:50] Speaker F: No. We saved the worst for last. Honestly, we should have reversed. We should have put this one in the middle. This story. [01:03:58] Speaker C: I'm sorry. [01:03:58] Speaker F: This story made me so angry. [01:04:03] Speaker C: Why? [01:04:04] Speaker F: Because it's stupid. [01:04:06] Speaker C: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a horse. [01:04:10] Speaker F: It's a horse. [01:04:11] Speaker C: An amazing steed that can plunge through space with the speed of Superboy himself. Where did he come from? What does he want of the boy? Of steel. You'll learn the astounding answers in the [01:04:21] Speaker F: secret of the flying horse. [01:04:24] Speaker C: I know what you're thinking, listener, and it is not [01:04:26] Speaker F: come at the. Oh, come on. Cometh is the super war streak of [01:04:29] Speaker C: the cat, as everyone knows. [01:04:31] Speaker F: Yes. [01:04:32] Speaker C: All right. Outside Smallville one day, a strange craft from outer space lands and a four legged creature steps forth. It's a horse. [01:04:40] Speaker F: Yeah. [01:04:41] Speaker C: He's got a mission to complete. Presently, the horse from another world spies Farmer Smith's horse and sends it a telepathic message. Greetings, Earth horse. I'm from another world. What? No answer? His mind is blank. Great manes. Is there no species of intelligent life on this world? [01:05:04] Speaker F: It's a space traveling horse. [01:05:06] Speaker C: Yes. [01:05:06] Speaker F: Yes. [01:05:07] Speaker C: It's a lovely golden bronze color. [01:05:10] Speaker F: Yes. [01:05:10] Speaker C: By the way, you know how if you're going into Martinsburg. [01:05:16] Speaker F: Yes. [01:05:17] Speaker C: And you go. But you don't turn on files. Crossroad. You keep going straight. You turn at that other road and wind around till you get to Greensburg Road. Would you go by the Christian school? [01:05:30] Speaker F: Okay, we. You had me what? So, okay, [01:05:34] Speaker C: you're going to Marsburg. [01:05:35] Speaker F: Yes, yes, yes, yes. By the Christian school. Yes. [01:05:37] Speaker C: And so. But before you get to the Christian school, there's that field. And there's usually cows in it. [01:05:41] Speaker F: Yeah, [01:05:42] Speaker C: well, when I went the other morning to get my blood work, there was no cows. But there was this beautiful golden horse. This color horse. [01:05:49] Speaker F: Really? [01:05:50] Speaker C: Maybe it's from space. [01:05:51] Speaker F: I love that color of horse. [01:05:52] Speaker C: I do, too. And it was just. It was all by itself in the field and it just was running and jumping. [01:05:58] Speaker F: Oh, it must have been so happy. [01:06:00] Speaker C: Well, or maybe it's from outer space. Or [01:06:02] Speaker F: maybe it's being stung by a horde of bees. [01:06:04] Speaker C: Maybe it was trying to send me a telepathic message. Greetings, Earth human. [01:06:10] Speaker F: Don't go see your doctor. Come hang out with me. Come [01:06:13] Speaker C: play with me. I'm having such fun. Meanwhile, Clark Kent, secretly Superboy, is making the rounds of local farmers with a special request. [01:06:22] Speaker F: I need to borrow a horse, [01:06:24] Speaker C: any horse, to ride in the Junior Derby today, which is open to all teenagers. Now, Clark, how long have you known about this derby? [01:06:34] Speaker F: Yeah. That you had to wait till the day. [01:06:35] Speaker C: You had to wait till day of. [01:06:37] Speaker F: Yeah. [01:06:39] Speaker C: I want to win the $100 prize and donate it to the orphanage [01:06:44] Speaker F: so that my cousin, who I will meet in the future, will have a place to stay [01:06:48] Speaker C: when I put her in an orphanage. Now, I know Superboy is technically not supposed to accept cash for his good deeds, but I [01:07:02] Speaker F: couldn't. Linda Danvers stay with the Kents? [01:07:06] Speaker C: Oh, well, because they were dead in the original continuity. [01:07:09] Speaker F: Oh, okay. [01:07:12] Speaker C: But it begs the question, why couldn't she stay with Clark? He's got a roomy apartment in the [01:07:18] Speaker F: city. Or, or [01:07:20] Speaker C: Lois, [01:07:20] Speaker F: Lois, [01:07:21] Speaker C: Lois, here's my cousin who's [01:07:23] Speaker F: orphaned friend, Any trusted friend. [01:07:27] Speaker C: Wonder Woman. Why couldn't she go to Paradise Island? Right. Well, she did in a different continuity. [01:07:33] Speaker F: Okay, [01:07:35] Speaker C: Batman, he's always adopting orphans. Why couldn't you go stay there. [01:07:39] Speaker F: He's just creepy. He's a Batman. [01:07:43] Speaker C: Well, yes. [01:07:45] Speaker F: Too dark [01:07:46] Speaker C: right now. So the horse sees Clark and. Oh no. What I was going to say is why can't Superboy just get a lump of coal or something and make a diamond? Give that to the orphanage. It's worth more than $100. [01:08:04] Speaker F: He wants to earn it honestly by riding a horse in a [01:08:07] Speaker C: race. That's honest. Nobody's going to miss a lump of coal. All right. The horse is astonished that this two legged person radiates intelligent thoughts. But he is deaf to ordinary telepathy. So the horse has to use horse sign language, which involves tapping Clark on his shoulder with his nose. Now, Clark knows all the local horses and he realizes this horse does not belong to anybody around here. Hey, why not use him in the race until his owner claims him? [01:08:46] Speaker F: Race. The horse says to himself. Oh, no. So the horse understands. [01:08:50] Speaker C: Yes. [01:08:51] Speaker F: What Clark is thinking. [01:08:52] Speaker C: He can read thoughts, he just can't project them to Clark. [01:08:56] Speaker F: Yep. [01:08:57] Speaker C: The horse makes an intelligent gesture to prove he's not an ordinary earthly horse. But Clark thinks he's just doing tricks, that he must be a circus horse. Escape from the circus. [01:09:08] Speaker F: So then Clark gets deforming horseshoes. Yes, [01:09:13] Speaker C: Nails. Because he sees that the horse is unshod. [01:09:15] Speaker F: Right. [01:09:16] Speaker C: Which he must be shod for the race. So he gets some scrap iron, makes some horseshoes. The horse is trying to drag him to his spaceship so that he will realize the truth. But of course, Clark is Superboy, so he can't be budged. Clark continues making nails by biting them off of some heavy wire and starts shotting this horse against his will. Mangled manes. I do not want those heavy things on my hooves. I'll show my displeasure by kicking him. Of course, that doesn't do any good because he's Superboy. So he just runs away at full speed. Well, he can't get away because Clark has super speed. So Clark gets on the back of this horse, names him Frisky and puts a bridle on him. Frisky bursts through a silo or some other kind of farm building. [01:10:15] Speaker F: The way that horseians can smash through trivial barriers. [01:10:18] Speaker C: That's the name of his species. Horseians. [01:10:21] Speaker F: Horseians. Horseians. [01:10:24] Speaker C: Clark can't be shaken off, but is awfully surprised by the power of this horse. He's sure to win the race, which starts soon and soon at the Smallville racetrack. They're off. Suddenly, to Clark's astonishment, the horse is flying. [01:10:43] Speaker F: Right. [01:10:44] Speaker C: But Clark's not doing it. [01:10:46] Speaker F: No. And then he's worried that. And he wins the prize. [01:10:49] Speaker C: Yes. [01:10:50] Speaker F: And he's asked by the man who's handing him the money. Flying horses. But how? And of course, Clark is like, oh, they'll suspect I'm Superboy and made that horse fly. But because [01:11:00] Speaker C: apparently there were no rules against flying horses in this race. [01:11:04] Speaker F: Yes. So Clark's worry is relieved. He says it's simple. This flying horse must be from Krypton. Just like Krypto, the flying dog who visits Smallville now and then. Okay, that's fine. So there's no chance of your cover being blown? [01:11:15] Speaker C: No, [01:11:16] Speaker F: no. [01:11:19] Speaker C: Speaking of blue waves, much like recent political events, you don't know that you need a rule until you need it. So they're gonna have to enact a rule now that no flying horses are allowed in the teen horse derby. [01:11:33] Speaker F: That's Comet, the super horse out the future. [01:11:36] Speaker C: Yeah, so luckily, the citizens of Smallville are astute enough to realize the horse must be from Krypton. But don't put two and two together. Realize that Clark must be Superboy. [01:11:47] Speaker F: Right. [01:11:48] Speaker C: Clark does indeed donate the prize money to local orphanage. And now he's got to figure out where this flying horse came from. While the horse flies him right to a spaceship, Clark figures out that you came from another world. You can't talk, but you somehow understand me by telepathy? If so, nod your head. The [01:12:08] Speaker F: horse nods. [01:12:09] Speaker C: Since your ship isn't damaged, you don't need help. You must be on a scientific visit to Earth gathering information. Is that true? The [01:12:16] Speaker F: horse nods. [01:12:17] Speaker C: I'll change now and be your guide. Since you can't talk and tell my secret, I can reveal that I'm really Superboy, who with many superpowers. Well, the horse already knew this. [01:12:28] Speaker F: Yeah, of course. [01:12:29] Speaker C: Only one substance in the universe can destroy me. The element kryptonite. A crook in town is said to have a piece of it right now. But it may be a false rumor. The [01:12:38] Speaker F: horse says to himself, so kryptonite can destroy Superboy? Well, I must obtain a chunk of it. So we, as the Readers are led to believe that maybe the horse's nefarious deeds in mind. [01:12:51] Speaker C: Now, follow me, horse. I'll show you other things on Earth. [01:12:55] Speaker F: So the horse decides he wants to slip away behind the hill and find that criminal with the Krypton, [01:12:59] Speaker C: which he does using his telepathic powers. Meanwhile, baffled, Superboy has returned. He's lost the horse. He comes upon a jewelry robbery. The jewel robber has a piece of kryptonite and wards off Superboy. Luckily, the jewelry store is right next door to the tire store. And so Superboy is able to perform the classic move of tossing a tower of tires over the crook to trap him. Just then, the flying horse appears. What's his name? Frisky. [01:13:40] Speaker F: Frisky the Flying Horse [01:13:42] Speaker C: and helps the criminal to escape with his kryptonite. [01:13:47] Speaker F: Superman uses a gentle tap of his heat vision to take Frisky Superboy. What? [01:13:52] Speaker C: Superboy, you said Superman. [01:13:54] Speaker F: Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry. Superboy uses his heat vision on the hindquarters of Frisky, which turns him into a bucking bronco. [01:14:01] Speaker C: Yes. [01:14:02] Speaker F: Drops the kryptonite. The criminal drops the kryptonite. Superboy flies ahead before the kryptonite hits the ground and creates a crater and the kryptonite is buried. [01:14:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:14:14] Speaker F: And Frisky drops off the criminal, which then Superboy comes and picks up the criminal to take him to prison. [01:14:21] Speaker C: Now we learn through Frisky's thought balloons that he only wanted the kryptonite. He doesn't care about Superboy or the criminal. [01:14:28] Speaker F: Right. [01:14:30] Speaker C: Later, where another chunk of kryptonite is under police guard, here comes Frisky. He bursts right through an armored car and steals the other piece of kryptonite. [01:14:40] Speaker F: But then Superboy grabs a rope and lasso's Frisky, forcing Frisky the horse to drop the kryptonite into the lake. The bay. The bay. [01:14:53] Speaker C: The bay. Famous, famous Midwestern Smallville Bay. [01:14:57] Speaker F: Yes. And Superman, Superboy, rather sorry, moves the sailboat out of the way so it doesn't get hit by the falling debris of the kryptonite. [01:15:06] Speaker C: Now, Superboy is afraid that maybe this flying horse will send to Earth to spy and eliminate me. Then his companion Horseians could conquer Earth. [01:15:15] Speaker F: Right. We all know how dangerous a entire population of any horses can be on Earth. Yeah. Yes. So meanwhile, at a nearby laboratory. I mean, it happened in Planet of the Apes, so I suppose [01:15:26] Speaker C: it could [01:15:26] Speaker F: happen in Planet of the Horses. Sure. [01:15:30] Speaker C: Now, this must be Professor Evans, because there is a couple of scientists working on an antidote for kryptonite that will protect Superboy. But they've been unsuccessful. So they lock the kryptonite in the safe. Of course. Frisky kicks the safe [01:15:44] Speaker F: safe in and steals it it like he stole it from the truck. And flies. And he flies after Superboy, traps him, ambushes [01:15:54] Speaker C: him, [01:15:54] Speaker F: ambushes him. And then weakens him. And then takes a kryptonite and slips it into his costume. Into Superboy's costume, making him weak. I would think he'd nearly die, wouldn't he? Die? [01:16:05] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a pretty big chunk of kryptonite, all right. He flies Superboy back to his spaceship. Inside the ship, Superboy notices that he is not flying off with Superboy. He's using a mechanical robot helper to dissolve the kryptonite. Now I see what this is all about. In that case, I'll help him. Superboy zooms into space with a giant bat and bats. [01:16:39] Speaker F: Yeah, [01:16:39] Speaker C: bats. A flock of kryptonite meteors back down to Earth. [01:16:43] Speaker F: There's nothing dangerous about that for him. No, I don't like in this story. I don't like how much interaction Superboy has with green kryptonite and isn't gravely ill. [01:16:56] Speaker C: Sure. Well, maybe he's like me against influenza germs. All right, he. To be fair, these are not entirely kryptonite meteors. They just may contain some trace amounts of kryptonite. And so Superboy determines which meteors do contain kryptonite. The horse takes it back to his ship. Apparently he was stranded on Earth. And kryptonite is used as fuel on Horsea World. [01:17:31] Speaker F: Wow. Well, that's a finite source of fuel, don't you think? Your only source of fuel is from a planet that's exploded. [01:17:39] Speaker C: Yeah, but I mean, it was a planet sized mass of material [01:17:48] Speaker F: scattered in every direction. [01:17:49] Speaker C: Scattered in every direction across the galaxy. But. Well, if they use it for fuel, they must have some way to detect it, wouldn't you think? [01:17:59] Speaker F: Yeah, sure. [01:18:02] Speaker C: So Superboy realizes the truth, that he didn't want the kryptonite to destroy me. He needed it. Because on his world, kryptonite is used for fuel. They never name his planet, but it must be a neighboring world. And Superboy doesn't know that he will someday meet another super horse. Super Bowl Pet Comet. [01:18:28] Speaker F: And with that, we've gotten through the last three stories of this 80 page giant. Having started on page 31 and ended on page 78. 47 pages. [01:18:38] Speaker C: Yes, we skipped the first three part novel length adventure [01:18:44] Speaker F: thank you. [01:18:45] Speaker C: Because if you thought the horror story made Dr. Husband mad, he really wouldn't have. [01:18:50] Speaker F: What was it about? [01:18:51] Speaker C: It's about some general and another scientist, and they try to destroy Superboy, and also they try to destroy crypto, and they create a bizarro crypto. [01:19:03] Speaker F: Oh, [01:19:04] Speaker C: yeah. [01:19:05] Speaker F: Okay. [01:19:07] Speaker C: I thought that would really get you going, so I. [01:19:11] Speaker F: Oh, so you chose the horse. [01:19:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:19:15] Speaker F: You chose Paulie. [01:19:17] Speaker C: Well, I mean, we can always go back next week. No, [01:19:20] Speaker F: that's [01:19:20] Speaker C: okay. Okay. Because next week we've got Teen Titans, and I know you love them. [01:19:25] Speaker F: Sure, sure. [01:19:26] Speaker C: You can find us on social media, Ogochuckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcast from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. And you can find us right back here next week with Teen Titans. [01:19:41] Speaker F: Right? [01:19:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:19:42] Speaker F: Okay. [01:19:43] Speaker C: Anything else? [01:19:43] Speaker F: Have a great week, everybody. [01:19:46] Speaker C: Bye. [01:20:01] Speaker D: Giving you looking like your mind you. Like. Been looking for the world might have been misery.