Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there.
Everybody everywhere.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
[00:00:17] Speaker C: Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967.
I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Justice League of America 53. Cover date May 1967 Cover price $0.12. Cover artists Mike Zukowski and Murphy Anderson. Edited by Julius Schwartz Featuring Secret behind the Stolen Superweapons Written by Gardner Fox. Art by Mike Zukowski and Sid Green. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go.
[00:01:10] Speaker D: Open up your eyes Take a look at the world around you don't you want to lend a helping hand?
[00:01:19] Speaker C: Try it on the sides if you
[00:01:22] Speaker D: like the feeling about you Come along and join in with the band.
[00:01:27] Speaker C: Incredibly, the special weapons of the JLA members are stolen and replaced with counterfeit substitutes, including Batman's utility belt, Wonder Woman's lasso, and Green Arrow's shafts, and as well as a rare coin belonging to Hawkman. Using a radiation detector, the heroes trail their missing weapons to the cavern hideaway of a collector of art objects who has created a matter transporter device. He then animates statues of various folklore characters against them, which they defeat, only to find themselves becoming invisible and intangible due to the effects of the transporter's radiation.
[00:02:01] Speaker E: Confused?
[00:02:02] Speaker C: Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything.
[00:02:24] Speaker D: Strange but truth, it's all around us Even in you Anyone can find it and it's free Love is all human.
[00:02:59] Speaker C: Well, coming to you from sunny Helena, Montana.
We're not really reporting ahead, but when you're listening to this, we are in Helena, Montana. We are performing Sunday and Monday and so check the newspaper if you're in the area.
[00:03:16] Speaker F: We just planned ahead and said we want to get this back on track, right?
[00:03:19] Speaker C: That's right, because I don't want to disappoint our listener anymore.
[00:03:23] Speaker E: No.
[00:03:23] Speaker F: Now, one of our listeners actually did playfully reached out to me and said not to push too much, but listeners are kind of waiting for your latest episode.
[00:03:33] Speaker C: Yes, one of our listeners also reached out to me, really to make sure we were alive.
[00:03:39] Speaker F: Mine was a Harvey Bergman, attorney at law.
[00:03:42] Speaker C: Mine was not okay.
In fact, the listener I'm referring to. I've never even met in person. Oh, my goodness. But they are very curious about when you're going to get your Canadian citizenship.
[00:03:55] Speaker F: I have to get that, don't I?
[00:03:56] Speaker C: Yes. Yes. Better hurry.
[00:03:58] Speaker F: I've got all the paperwork.
[00:03:58] Speaker C: Elections are coming up. Yes. We early voted, though, didn't we?
[00:04:02] Speaker E: We did.
[00:04:03] Speaker G: It was so quick.
[00:04:04] Speaker H: I know.
[00:04:04] Speaker F: I was so surprised.
[00:04:06] Speaker C: Well, we're in West Virginia. We probably have low turnout anyway.
[00:04:10] Speaker F: Yeah, I mean, there's only like 1.2 million people in the entire state of West Virginia, so.
[00:04:16] Speaker C: Do you know there's only 18,000 people in Martinsburg?
[00:04:19] Speaker F: No.
[00:04:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:04:20] Speaker F: Why is there so much traffic?
[00:04:23] Speaker C: Because there's no. They have that one intersection that fouls everything up.
[00:04:28] Speaker F: Oh, it's terrible.
Yeah.
[00:04:31] Speaker C: That's why I don't go over there to do my shopping. I go over to Jefferson County.
[00:04:35] Speaker F: Well, it's. I mean, I know what intersection you're talking about. Harvey Bergman refers to it as conjunction dysfunction. No, that's not right.
[00:04:44] Speaker C: Dysfunction junction. Dysfunction junction.
[00:04:46] Speaker G: Yeah.
[00:04:46] Speaker F: Yeah, it's bad, that one area. All right, so let's get into this, shall we?
[00:04:51] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:04:51] Speaker F: Oh, is it? Unless there's something else you want to talk about.
[00:04:53] Speaker C: No, I don't have really anything.
[00:04:55] Speaker F: It's a gorgeous day outside today, isn't it?
[00:04:57] Speaker C: It really is so lovely.
[00:04:59] Speaker F: I was wondering.
[00:05:00] Speaker C: Almost regretting my choice to stay indoors all day.
[00:05:02] Speaker F: I know. I was thinking that. I wonder if I should probably cut the grass again soon.
[00:05:06] Speaker C: No, just to mulch the leaves.
[00:05:08] Speaker F: What do you think? To mulch the leaves.
[00:05:09] Speaker E: Wait till all the leaves are down.
[00:05:10] Speaker F: Oh.
[00:05:11] Speaker G: All right.
[00:05:11] Speaker F: Well, I'll do it next when we come back from Montana.
[00:05:13] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:05:14] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:05:15] Speaker C: Um. Well, you know what?
[00:05:18] Speaker F: What?
[00:05:18] Speaker C: Having your super weapons stolen is bad enough.
[00:05:21] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:05:21] Speaker C: But being attacked by them is sheer disaster.
[00:05:25] Speaker G: That's right.
[00:05:26] Speaker C: It's justice League of America.
[00:05:28] Speaker E: 53 mm.
[00:05:31] Speaker C: Batman without his utility belt.
Green Arrow, deprived of his famous trick arrows.
[00:05:37] Speaker F: Wonder Woman, her magic lasso, gone.
[00:05:40] Speaker C: What master thief could have stolen them? And even worse, what mysterious doom did these Justice League members suffer along with Hawkman when they set out to solve the secret behind the stolen super weapons? The roll call.
[00:05:56] Speaker F: I said behind. You said behind.
Yes, the roll call.
[00:06:01] Speaker C: Aquaman, Adam, Batman, Flash, Green Arrow, Hawkman,
[00:06:05] Speaker G: Superman, Wonder Woman, and special guest star Hawkgirl.
[00:06:13] Speaker C: In the Midway City Museum, where Carter Hockman hall serves as curator and his wife, Shiera Hawkgirl as his assistant.
[00:06:21] Speaker F: Katala.
[00:06:22] Speaker C: Why is she his assistant?
[00:06:24] Speaker F: I thought they were co owners of operators.
[00:06:26] Speaker H: So did operators.
[00:06:27] Speaker C: Yes, co curators.
[00:06:28] Speaker F: Co curators. Yes, this is the 1960s. She is absolutely.
[00:06:31] Speaker C: I don't care what it is.
[00:06:33] Speaker F: No, I mean, I say that to acknowledge the sexism that is inherent in all of these issues.
[00:06:38] Speaker C: She might be my very favorite character.
[00:06:40] Speaker F: Really?
[00:06:41] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:06:41] Speaker H: Oh, okay.
[00:06:42] Speaker G: She says.
[00:06:43] Speaker F: Katar. Wait. She's Hawkgirl.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: Ketar, before you leave for your Justice League meeting, take a look at this.
[00:06:52] Speaker C: What is it?
Something urgent. What are you yapping about now?
[00:06:57] Speaker F: She says. While taking inventory, I discovered that our rare Yehud coin from ancient Israel has been stolen. And this counterfeit duplicate left in its place.
[00:07:06] Speaker C: It struck us, too. But when we read about the amazing thefts that have been plaguing art galleries and museums all across the country, we installed our own burglar proof Thanagarian alarm system.
[00:07:16] Speaker F: Since we alone carry this special device to shut off our alarm, no thief could possibly have opened the coin's display case.
[00:07:23] Speaker H: The display case was not opened.
[00:07:25] Speaker F: That was his voice. Sorry. Yes.
[00:07:26] Speaker H: Yet the real coin was stolen. And here's an even more baffling point to the duplicate's reverse side is blank.
So how was the real con Staller?
[00:07:36] Speaker G: I don't know.
[00:07:38] Speaker F: But maybe this Thangarian detector can give us a clue. Thanagarian detector? So he says. He aims it at the coin. See, the substitute coin gives off a faint amount of unknown radiation. Unfortunately, the detector must absorb some of that radioactivity to function, which doesn't leave enough left to enable us to track source. Originally, we theorized that those other art
[00:08:01] Speaker G: thefts was a work of an art forger.
[00:08:03] Speaker F: Now we know some super scientific criminal is responsible. Nothing we can do about it now, so I might as well go to the JLA meeting.
[00:08:09] Speaker C: God, so many words.
[00:08:11] Speaker F: Right?
[00:08:11] Speaker C: It's like a Kathy Sunday strip.
[00:08:13] Speaker F: Oh, it's worth ack.
[00:08:15] Speaker D: Sigh.
[00:08:16] Speaker H: I wish someday I could take an active part in one of their adventures.
[00:08:22] Speaker C: That's what we call foreshadowing as the
[00:08:26] Speaker F: secret sanctuary of the Justice League of America at the. That's actually right there. Green Arrow serves as rotating chairman for the regularly scheduled meeting. Does he bring the cookies?
[00:08:35] Speaker C: Mm.
[00:08:36] Speaker F: Oh, I forgot about Snapper.
[00:08:39] Speaker C: Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:08:41] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:08:43] Speaker C: Now it turns out nobody has any urgent business to consider, so let's deal with the mail. Snapper.
[00:08:49] Speaker G: Not a single request for help, Green Arrow. But Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter sent
[00:08:54] Speaker F: word that they won't be here via mail.
Via mail?
[00:08:57] Speaker G: Right. They have radio transmissions, in a way,
[00:09:01] Speaker F: to communicate across telephone.
[00:09:02] Speaker C: They have flexible phones, for God's sake.
[00:09:03] Speaker G: Right.
[00:09:04] Speaker F: Via mail.
[00:09:05] Speaker C: Also, guess what? Green Lantern has the most Powerful weapon in the universe. On his finger. Yeah, just like beam a ray of light.
Won't be at the meeting today. Out of office.
[00:09:17] Speaker B: Shit.
[00:09:18] Speaker E: What?
[00:09:19] Speaker B: Quicker than a ray of light.
Quicker than a ray of light.
[00:09:30] Speaker F: I hate that song so much. And when you just said that, it got. I.
I hate that Madonna song.
[00:09:35] Speaker C: You hate Madonna, period. Yeah. You're a bad gay.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: I am a bad gay.
Okay.
[00:09:43] Speaker C: All right. In that case, Green Arrow continues. I'd like to bring up something that fits into our department of Odd Complaints.
[00:09:50] Speaker F: Department of odd? It's so big, it has its own department.
Yes.
[00:09:55] Speaker C: Earlier today as I cornered.
[00:09:57] Speaker F: That's my next job.
Chairman of the Department of Odd Complaints.
[00:10:03] Speaker C: Earlier today, as I cornered a couple of armed bandits, I fired a net arrow over them to effect a quick capture.
[00:10:11] Speaker F: But to my surprise and dismay, a that net didn't open. That never happened before.
[00:10:16] Speaker G: And as bullets started.
[00:10:17] Speaker C: That happens to all of us, Green Arrow. Eventually.
[00:10:20] Speaker F: Failure to fire.
[00:10:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:10:22] Speaker F: As bullets started fl.
I ducked for cover behind the arrow car.
[00:10:27] Speaker G: Huh? My follow up arrows didn't work either.
[00:10:29] Speaker F: I better take a closer look at the rest of them. When examination revealed my quiver was filled with arrows that only looked like mine, I arrowed myself at the crooks.
Now you could do Wonder Woman's recounting of her things.
[00:10:45] Speaker C: Next. Wonder Woman rises in her seat.
[00:10:48] Speaker H: I wasn't going to mention it, but a similar thing happened to me. I was following three sabotages agents. I had just crashed through a stone wall between me and my fleeing quarry and was about to hurl my magical lasso at them.
Yeah, I caught them in the lariat noose easily enough. But incredibly, it couldn't be my magic lasso or those men would be forced to obey my command.
[00:11:17] Speaker F: Right.
[00:11:17] Speaker C: She's trying to get them to tell the truth. And they won't. Because it's not our magic lasso.
[00:11:21] Speaker F: We're telling you nothing, Wonder Woman.
[00:11:23] Speaker H: There it is. Just a length of glowing rope that merely resembles mine. How the switch was made, I can't imagine right now.
[00:11:31] Speaker C: This is the most action Wonder Woman has seen in the pages of a Justice League of America as well as in the pages of her own magazine.
[00:11:41] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:11:42] Speaker C: Crashing through walls, chasing saboteurs. Yes. Lassoing people. Yes.
[00:11:48] Speaker G: What's wrong with that?
[00:11:49] Speaker C: Nothing. I like it. I wish it happened in her own magazine.
[00:11:52] Speaker G: So then Batman says superweapon substituted. Wouldn't it be something if the same thing unknowingly happened to my utility belt? My laser torch fired a red beam. That doesn't even raise a puff of smoke in the cavern wall. No tear gas in that pellet. I've been victimized.
[00:12:07] Speaker F: So he's recalling things that he did with his weapons from his belt.
[00:12:11] Speaker C: No, I disagree. I think he's just. Now, after hearing these other stories, he says, wouldn't it be funny if the same thing happened to my belt? And now he's testing it out, which I find hard to believe, that he does not do a hourly check on all the devices.
[00:12:24] Speaker F: He's 100% OCD about his weapons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Hawkman says, it's my turn now. I have a hunch with my. With experience with the. Excuse me.
[00:12:35] Speaker G: I have a hunch my experience with
[00:12:36] Speaker F: the facsimile coin is related to what
[00:12:38] Speaker G: happened to a Batman, Wonder Woman and Green Arrow.
[00:12:41] Speaker F: You see, after the winged Wonder has related his theft of the Yehud coin, he says, or Yehud. I'm sorry.
[00:12:47] Speaker G: My detector belt shows the utility belt was no radiation. Has no radiation in it at all. But I still say there's a tie in between the super criminal and the weapons thief.
[00:12:57] Speaker C: The rest of us don't use weapons. That's Superman.
So there was nothing to steal and substitute from us.
[00:13:04] Speaker F: Green Arrow says, so.
[00:13:05] Speaker H: Losers.
[00:13:05] Speaker F: So we didn't think we had anything urgent to discuss. Now we're confronted by a series of incredible crimes to solve.
[00:13:11] Speaker C: What's up to me is who would
[00:13:12] Speaker E: want to see the utility of magic glass on arrows?
[00:13:13] Speaker C: That was a flash.
Ah, that's good, Batman.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: Are you gonna be able to keep up that pace with the voice?
[00:13:22] Speaker H: Yes.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: That's so good.
[00:13:26] Speaker E: I love that.
[00:13:27] Speaker C: Now, Batman suggests rounding up all the counterfeit objects. Remember, there's been a crime wave in art museums.
[00:13:32] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:13:33] Speaker C: All the counterfeit objects that were substituted for the real stolen treasures, lumped together, they might emit enough radiation for Hogman's detector to lead us to the culprit.
[00:13:42] Speaker F: He is the world's smartest detective, isn't he? Yeah. Yes, yes.
[00:13:45] Speaker G: So then Adam says, what are you waiting for?
[00:13:48] Speaker D: Let's get going.
[00:13:49] Speaker C: The Adam says, no, Adam, if you don't mind. Green Arrow says, and he's the chairman of the meeting.
Since Batman, Hawkman, Wonder Woman and I are personally involved, I think we four victims should have first crack at solving this.
[00:14:03] Speaker F: I think that's a little largest, don't you think?
[00:14:06] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, I go along with that.
[00:14:08] Speaker E: But at least that's Superman and me
[00:14:09] Speaker C: and how we can get started, right?
[00:14:11] Speaker F: Flash and I could use our super speed to get those fake treasures back here without wasting any more Valuable time.
[00:14:15] Speaker E: Swoosh.
[00:14:16] Speaker C: They leave like, wow.
[00:14:19] Speaker E: Snapper says, there go the two fastest men on Earth. Simday.
[00:14:23] Speaker C: I'd like to see a race between
[00:14:24] Speaker E: them to settle once and for all who's faster.
[00:14:27] Speaker F: They're back with all the treasures in their arms.
[00:14:29] Speaker E: Well, here they come, neck and neck.
[00:14:32] Speaker F: Moments later, they take all of the replaced treasures, I guess. The duplicate treasures. Yeah, Place them together.
Hawkman uses his Thanagarian detector and he says it worked. I have a fix on the odd radiation. Now I can track it to its source.
[00:14:51] Speaker C: How right Batman is. So brace yourself, listener, for action.
[00:14:56] Speaker F: Oh, we didn't say what Batman said. He says, I'll bet Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter will be sorry they weren't
[00:15:02] Speaker G: here for this case.
[00:15:02] Speaker F: I have a feeling it's going to be a blast.
[00:15:05] Speaker C: What do you know?
[00:15:06] Speaker F: Okay, well, it's foreshadowing again. No, no letters from Irene.
[00:15:11] Speaker C: No letters from Irene.
[00:15:12] Speaker H: I'm sorry.
[00:15:12] Speaker F: She's very busy.
[00:15:13] Speaker C: It must be exams.
[00:15:14] Speaker F: Final exams week or something.
[00:15:16] Speaker C: Far ahead of the speeding Hawkman robot plane, aeroplane and Batplane in a vast cavern filled with stolen art treasures.
[00:15:23] Speaker F: Who is this twisted creature?
[00:15:25] Speaker C: Well, we don't know. I don't think he's ever given a name.
[00:15:28] Speaker F: No, he isn't.
[00:15:30] Speaker C: He looks like a goofball, though. He's dressed like the squire of Gothos. And he's got long, unruly hair and thick eyebrows.
[00:15:38] Speaker F: It's a Victorian costume. Maybe.
[00:15:42] Speaker C: Now he is examining this Yehud coin, which he has obviously stolen. He's got a bunch of other ancient treasures in his cave cavern.
[00:15:49] Speaker F: Wherever he is. He's a hoarder.
[00:15:52] Speaker C: We learn that he is. Made a breakthrough with his matter transporter, enabling him to strike anywhere on Earth swiftly and silently without leaving a single clue by which I can be traced. All I have to do is aim my. Wait, he talks like this.
[00:16:06] Speaker F: Probably.
[00:16:06] Speaker E: All I have to do is aim my transporter in this cavern at the treasure to be stolen, trigger it, and the object is instantly teleported here, leaving in its place a reasonable copy of the original. An operation made necessary by the law of conservation of matter and energy.
So far, my teletransporter works only on inanimate objects. When I learn how to teleport living things as well. Look out, world. I should be your master.
[00:16:35] Speaker G: My present experiments have been devoted to animating inanimate things. Eventually, by combining this animator with my transporter, I shall achieve my ultimate triumph.
I shudder when I think of the close call I had the first time. I was about to activate the teleporter. I accidentally discovered just in time that it was. Has a disastrous side effect on anyone with its presence. I have safeguarded myself against it.
[00:17:01] Speaker E: What's this? Wonder Woman, Babbin, Green Arrow, Hawkman.
[00:17:05] Speaker C: Ha ha ha.
[00:17:06] Speaker E: They've doomed themselves by entering my cavern.
[00:17:10] Speaker F: Superman or Hawkman says the radiation trail leads here. So then what happens?
[00:17:14] Speaker E: But until their doom strikes, I must avoid capture by animating these stolen statues of folklore characters. Paul Bunyan and his blue ox. The Ring Tailed Roarer. The Doodang, the Monster of Leeds.
Animating them into snarling battle fury.
[00:17:35] Speaker F: So now we get a little bit of history of American folklore.
[00:17:38] Speaker C: Yes.
Under the animated control of their masters.
[00:17:42] Speaker F: Speaking of American folklore.
[00:17:44] Speaker H: Oh yeah.
[00:17:45] Speaker F: Talk about what we did last night.
[00:17:46] Speaker C: No, we didn't. We went to the Shepherdstown Opera House, didn't we? And had a little talk about Appalachian folklore. And then we watched the Blair Witch Project.
[00:17:56] Speaker G: Yes, yes.
[00:17:57] Speaker F: Shepherd history professor Ben Bankhurst hosted a conversation with that author. I can't remember her name.
Oh, Alison Gunn.
[00:18:06] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:18:07] Speaker F: The author of a book called Nowhere, which is an Appalachian Horror Story. Anyway, so they. They hosted a pre movie discussion about Appalachian folklore and heritage and. And those things that appear in literature.
And we saw the Blair Witch, the
[00:18:23] Speaker C: Blair Witch Project, which is set outside the town of Burkittsville, Maryland, which is an actual town. It's about 20 minutes from our house. You can go there with. What they did not talk about was that there's a mystery Hill.
[00:18:37] Speaker F: Mystery Hill. Yeah, yeah.
[00:18:38] Speaker C: Get on the hill and you put your car in neutral and it goes uphill by itself.
[00:18:42] Speaker F: It's true.
[00:18:43] Speaker C: We've done it several times.
[00:18:45] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:18:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
Well. Yeah. That's all. Yeah. It's an enjoyable evening.
[00:18:52] Speaker H: Yeah.
[00:18:54] Speaker F: So under the animated control of their master, the Doodang gallops with such blinding speed at the Amazon princess.
[00:19:00] Speaker C: Editor's note. The Doodang was a nightmare creature out of the famous Uncle Remus. Tales of Joel Chandler Harris. Wanting to swim and fly, it grew both scales and wings and as a result could do neither.
[00:19:12] Speaker F: So it grabs Wonder Woman in its giant maw. And she uses her incredible strength to pry the jaw open.
And then hurls herself out, uses the lasso to grab onto a stalactite and then whirls herself around and crashes into the creature, forcing it into a giant crevasse that it could not get out of.
[00:19:37] Speaker C: Yes. The girl gladiator does some fancy footwork.
[00:19:40] Speaker F: She does indeed.
Next, high overhead, the monster of Leeds snaps its talons on Hawkman.
[00:19:47] Speaker C: Editor's Note, in the mid 18th century, the monster of Leeds, or the Jersey Devil, as it came to be known, was believed to cause storms, fire and other disasters along the Atlantic coastline. Exorcised by a clergyman in the 18th century, it was laid to rest and never bothered anyone again. Until now, as the stolen and animated statue of the criminal collector.
[00:20:09] Speaker F: So this, it's like a dragon kind
[00:20:11] Speaker G: of thing, you know, creature.
[00:20:12] Speaker F: And it slams poor Hoffman into the ceiling of the cavern and he grabs a stalactite and uses it as a club. Right.
[00:20:21] Speaker C: Because he didn't bring any weapons of his own.
[00:20:23] Speaker F: No. And he. Well, it grabs him and throws him into the wall. But he uses his gravity belt. He jumps on the creature, uses his gravity belt and forces it down into the cave, the cave floor. And there are some stalagmites there which pierce the wings of the creature and hold it fast. And again, these are animated statues, right?
[00:20:49] Speaker C: He's not killing it.
[00:20:50] Speaker F: No, these aren't. These are actually. These are not actually alive creatures.
[00:20:54] Speaker C: No, they're animated statues.
[00:20:56] Speaker F: Because what happens next is even as Wonder Woman and Hawkman have been struggling for their very lives, so too his green arrow against the ring tailed Roarer.
[00:21:05] Speaker C: Editor's the ring tailed Roarer was half horse, half alligator. It could shoot lightning out of its left eye and breathe fire like a dragon. Davy Crockett, the great frontiersman, used to brag. Like a ring tailed roarer, he was fond of saying.
[00:21:19] Speaker F: I've never heard of these creatures.
[00:21:21] Speaker C: I haven't either.
[00:21:22] Speaker F: Filled with all the powers of the mythical original, the Roarer presses its advantage over the archer.
So what does it do? It attacks him.
He tries to punch it.
[00:21:31] Speaker C: And he doesn't have no trick arrows.
[00:21:33] Speaker F: No trick arrows or nothing. But he does manage to take his arrows, which he has, the regular arrows, and sets them on fire, I guess, and uses the fire to scare the ring tailed Roarer. And it, driven by its headlong, by
[00:21:52] Speaker G: its natural fear, flames.
[00:21:53] Speaker F: The Roarer crashes so hard into the cavern wall that. That it breaks into pieces. Because, of course, it's an animated statue. Yes. Well, what happens with this giant Michelin man?
[00:22:05] Speaker C: Editor's note.
The real Paul Bunyan was a French Canadian logger noted for his fabulous strength. He was adopted as a folk hero by American lumberjacks about the year 1860. And tall tales were so repeatedly told about his strength that he eventually became a creature of folklore. Babe was his blue ox companion.
[00:22:23] Speaker F: So poor Batman has to deal with both Babe and Paul Bunyan.
[00:22:27] Speaker C: Now, I have heard of Paul Bunyan.
[00:22:28] Speaker F: Yes, of Course. And I've heard of Babe.
So he does some fancy footwork and manages to elude to jump over Babe. And Babe, being a giant animated statue, hurls itself into the walls of the cavern and gets its horns stuck in the wall.
[00:22:47] Speaker C: Ha, ha.
[00:22:48] Speaker F: Then Paul Bunyan tries to use his brute strength on Batman. But Batman says, when you were in glory, you didn't have that tangle with. You didn't have to tangle with the judo expert. So little Batman, next to giant Paul Bunyan, uses his skill in judo to redistribute Paul Bunyan's weight, crashes him into blue Ox.
Babe. Babe. And both the statues crash into pieces. So they put an end to all of their attacking beasts.
And disbelief has deepened to despair on the face of the criminal mastermind still has no name as he's seen this animated statues fall before the fighting fury of the Justice Leaguers. So he runs out, and the Justice Leaguers, Green Arrow, Batman, Wonder Woman and Hawkman are all in hot pursuit.
[00:23:40] Speaker C: And he trips and knocks himself out.
[00:23:43] Speaker F: They come upon him outside of the cavern with his weapon at his side.
[00:23:49] Speaker C: And after turning the thief and his stolen treasures over to the authorities, the foursome returns to the secret sanctuary where after they have related their adventures, they
[00:23:59] Speaker F: start to fade into.
They start to disappear.
[00:24:05] Speaker C: Well, the four Hawkman, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman and Batman start to fade away. Disappear.
[00:24:11] Speaker F: Now they just become invisible. You can see in the next panel, Aquaman seems to be touching someone.
[00:24:17] Speaker C: And he sees Hawkman in his arms. Invisible Hawkman.
[00:24:21] Speaker F: He's holding him in a gentle, loving.
[00:24:23] Speaker C: I can feel Hawkman's body. He's warm. He's breathing. So he's still alive.
[00:24:28] Speaker F: And Adam is sitting on the shoulders of someone, I'm sure.
And they say they must have absorbed some of that.
[00:24:34] Speaker G: Oh, no, that's. That's.
[00:24:36] Speaker F: That's Flash.
[00:24:37] Speaker G: You saying that maybe this is. Maybe there's some sort of radiation?
[00:24:40] Speaker C: No, that's Superman.
[00:24:42] Speaker D: Well.
[00:24:42] Speaker F: Oh, okay. Maybe they've absorbed some of that unknown radiation.
[00:24:45] Speaker C: It could be. Oh, so it's the Atom.
[00:24:48] Speaker H: Could be. If it had the power to bend light rays around their bodies, it'd make them invisible to our eyes. I'm a professor of physics.
[00:24:54] Speaker F: I want to. I wanted to speak for Flash on the next panel. Okay, you go ahead.
[00:24:59] Speaker C: Why don't we use the device they brought back and try to neutralize the radiation that's in them?
[00:25:03] Speaker G: I thought about too, Superman, but I was even. Heap of junk.
[00:25:08] Speaker C: Flash is right.
However, the thief stole his treasures. He never used that. Oh. However, the thief Stole his treasures? He never used that to do it. It's another switcheroo. That means the real device is still at large. We must track it down. But the only way we can do
[00:25:23] Speaker G: that is with Hawkman's radiation detector. And we can't use that because Hawkman is invisible.
[00:25:27] Speaker C: Then we're stopped cold.
[00:25:29] Speaker B: Oh, no, we're not.
[00:25:30] Speaker G: If Hawkman has one of those detectors, so will Hawkgirl.
[00:25:33] Speaker F: So, Adam Horse.
[00:25:35] Speaker C: But how can we contact her in time? We don't know who or where she is.
[00:25:40] Speaker G: Now.
[00:25:40] Speaker E: This is a time before the Justice
[00:25:42] Speaker C: Leaguers had revealed their identities to each other.
[00:25:44] Speaker G: Yes.
Luckily, Adam says, I know Hawkgirl's Earth identity.
[00:25:51] Speaker C: Adam does know their identity because he and Hawkman are great friends, Aren't they?
[00:25:55] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:25:56] Speaker C: They're soon to share a magazine together.
[00:25:58] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:26:00] Speaker C: All right. They rush Adam to the Midway Center Midway City Museum.
They bust in, and Adam says, shara, this is no time to stand on ceremony. We need your help as Hawkgirl.
[00:26:14] Speaker F: Oh, she's so excited. Quickly, Adam, Flash and Superman made known to Hawkgirl. Make known to Hawkgirl the dreadful fate that has befallen Hawkman and the others.
[00:26:22] Speaker G: Of course I'll help. And here's a duplicate of the device Hawkman used to track down that radiation.
[00:26:29] Speaker C: There. I have a fix on the power source of the mysterious radiation emitted by these counterfeit treasures. But I'm going with you.
[00:26:37] Speaker E: As
[00:26:39] Speaker C: honestly, I was so impressed that they allowed her to go.
[00:26:44] Speaker F: Being that it's the 60s, Fleshes, we have to hurry.
[00:26:47] Speaker G: The lives of Hawkman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Green Arrow may depend on us. How fast we can do our job.
[00:26:54] Speaker C: As Hawkgirl leads the Justice Leaguers on the radiation trail. Let us look in on the hideout of gangland boss Johnny Marbles and his hoods.
[00:27:01] Speaker A: He.
[00:27:01] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:27:03] Speaker F: He looks like a monkey. Like, he's got a big monkey face.
[00:27:06] Speaker C: You know who he looks like? My mother's Uncle Harv. She always said looked like a monkey.
[00:27:11] Speaker F: You're right.
[00:27:11] Speaker C: I have pictures of him.
[00:27:12] Speaker F: And I can confirm he does look like a monkey.
[00:27:16] Speaker C: I gotta admit, I'm a smart operator. Snatching this gadget right out from under the noses of them four Justice Leaguers.
[00:27:22] Speaker G: When I first read about these strange treasure thefts, I knew as quick as a Flash.
[00:27:26] Speaker F: Oops, I hate that word.
[00:27:28] Speaker G: That somebody had come up with a perfect way to commit a perfect crime.
[00:27:32] Speaker C: Man, I was eating my heart out with jealousy. But when I tried to discover who was Robin and how, I drew a blank. So then I told myself, I told him myself.
I says the Justice League would find that out. To get them to do it, we switched their weapons, putting 40 ones in their place. Just like was done when those treasures were stolen.
[00:27:51] Speaker F: Natch. Some of the boys got caught.
[00:27:54] Speaker G: But we accomplished our objective.
[00:27:56] Speaker F: As the military buffs are falling to Saiyan.
[00:27:58] Speaker G: So here they are, boss. Batman's utility belt. One at one with lasso and souped up arrows. A green arrow.
[00:28:03] Speaker C: So you mean to tell me that these small time hoods got Batman's utility belt and replaced it?
[00:28:14] Speaker F: Wonder Woman's lasso.
[00:28:16] Speaker C: I mean, I could even accept the Wonder Woman getting her lasso stolen and replaced, but Batman, Come on.
[00:28:24] Speaker F: Yeah,
[00:28:26] Speaker E: they also.
[00:28:27] Speaker G: Or Green Arrow.
[00:28:28] Speaker C: Or Green Arrow. I mean, he's a dumbass anyway.
[00:28:31] Speaker G: Why would you accept that Wonder Woman
[00:28:32] Speaker F: would get her lasso stolen? Because she doesn't wear it on herself all the time.
[00:28:35] Speaker C: Well, she does wear it on herself all the time. I don't know, like if she's on a date with Steve or something, she's distracted.
[00:28:41] Speaker F: Yeah, she does get distracted.
She's like incredibly smart and very like the strongest woman on the planet.
[00:28:48] Speaker C: Yeah, right.
[00:28:49] Speaker F: But she does some really stupid things when it comes to Steve. Steve. Yeah.
[00:28:52] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:28:54] Speaker C: Also, they managed to plant a bugging device on Wonder Woman's tiara.
[00:28:57] Speaker B: What?
[00:28:58] Speaker G: How? How?
[00:28:59] Speaker F: How do they even know?
[00:29:00] Speaker G: How do they find it?
[00:29:02] Speaker C: Well, they would only could have done it if she was wearing it at the time,
[00:29:09] Speaker F: okay?
[00:29:10] Speaker C: Otherwise it'd be in her apartment someplace.
[00:29:13] Speaker G: How?
[00:29:15] Speaker F: I don't know.
They're asking a lot of us.
[00:29:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
All right.
They followed using the bugging device. They followed when Wonder Woman went to the mastermind's cave and came upon the mastermind.
[00:29:32] Speaker F: Knocked him out.
[00:29:33] Speaker C: Knocked him out. Stole the gadget, the real one. Replaced it with the phony.
[00:29:37] Speaker F: Yeah.
Luckily the JLA didn't know what the
[00:29:40] Speaker G: real gimmick looked like any more than we did. And I've been tinkering around with it.
[00:29:44] Speaker F: Is that the right voice? Is that okay?
[00:29:46] Speaker G: I've been tinkering around with it and I learned how to do some tricky things with it. Watch. Now. Watch what I did with the door.
[00:29:51] Speaker F: So he aims the device at the door. But just at that moment, fate plays a cruel trick on Hawkgirl. And the Justice Leaguers as they burst into the hideout, are hit with the beam and are frozen completely into statues.
[00:30:05] Speaker C: Yeah,
[00:30:07] Speaker H: uh.
[00:30:10] Speaker C: Now the crooks think they're gonna have some fun by punching Superman whatnot. Well, mob boss says nevermind. What's his name? Joey Marbles. Johnny. Johnny Marbles.
Never Mind, Come on. We got a lot of work to do here. Clear the area, he goes.
[00:30:26] Speaker G: I'm not gonna waste any time making myself the king of the pin, the kingpin of crime. I'm gonna teleport all the gold in Fort Knox into this room. And we need plenty of space to hold it. Clear the room.
[00:30:37] Speaker C: Okay, I got a longitude latitude fix on Fort Knox. Get set for the gold rush of 1967.
[00:30:44] Speaker F: But suddenly, out of the empty air comes a swirling metal ball.
[00:30:48] Speaker C: It's a mace. Medieval mace. It's Hawkgirl.
[00:30:53] Speaker F: She gets grabbed by the two guys.
[00:30:54] Speaker C: She knocks that device out of his hand. She gets grabbed by the two guys.
So he's Johnny Marbles says. Well, since that radiation didn't work on Hawk Girl, I'll use something that will. I'll pulverize her with a green arrow. Bomb arrow.
[00:31:11] Speaker B: Sorry, boys. Duty calls. And I always obey.
[00:31:14] Speaker A: Call.
[00:31:16] Speaker C: Hawkgirl smacks these two hoods away from her.
[00:31:19] Speaker E: Good for her.
[00:31:20] Speaker C: She's got an incoming bomb arrow.
[00:31:23] Speaker E: But she.
[00:31:23] Speaker C: She flaps her wings, which whips up a strong enough gust to deflect the bomb arrow.
Her fist meets Johnny Marable's face just as the bomb arrow explodes.
And now a new danger confronts the Female Fury as the hoods grab the
[00:31:44] Speaker F: two other stolen super the magic lasso and the laser beam torch from.
Well, Wonder Woman's lasso and Batman's laser beam torch. And she manages to continue to fight them off. She. She lets the. The. The medieval mace absorb the blast and the heat from the laser. She dodges the. The lasso and then whips it around with her fists and ties up the guys and captures the criminals here.
Excuse me. Her three prisoners helpless. Hawkgirl familiarizes herself with the matter transmitter, reversing its polarity, and says to Atom, Superman, and Flash, sorry I couldn't free
[00:32:25] Speaker B: you sooner, boys, but time was of the essence, as the lawyers say.
[00:32:29] Speaker C: There must have been an element of kryptonite in that thing to have it affect me. But why didn't it affect you, Hawkgirl?
[00:32:37] Speaker B: It did. But I was holding the radiation detector, which works by absorption while it was still turned on.
While they were clearing. While they were clearing the room for the gold, it absorbed the radiation and freed me.
[00:32:51] Speaker C: Then a quick visit to a nearby police station.
[00:32:54] Speaker F: Don't be surprised when your prisoners disappear, officer. We'll be back soon as we can to make them visible again.
[00:33:01] Speaker G: We need a little bit more items of this device to figure out how to figure out the invisibility.
[00:33:06] Speaker C: Well, back at Justice League headquarters, they do figure it out.
[00:33:09] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:33:10] Speaker F: They bring everybody back to view and revive them. It's weird that they become invisible and they collapse.
[00:33:17] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
Must have something to do with moments later, a happy ending to the case.
[00:33:24] Speaker F: Hawkman says to Hawkgirl, you're my hero.
[00:33:27] Speaker H: When I wished I could share an adventure with the Justice League, I didn't dream it would be fulfilled so soon. Why don't you go ahead and make me a member instead of waiting until issue number 139 when you actually do make me a member.
[00:33:41] Speaker G: Batman says, thanks to you, Hawkgirl, we've recovered our stolen superweapons and our very lives.
[00:33:47] Speaker F: And then Green Arrow says, all I can say is, if I could find
[00:33:51] Speaker G: a girl like you, Hawkgirl, I'd get married myself.
[00:33:55] Speaker C: Well, Hawkgirl, Green Arrow, you'll soon enough have a bird themed girlfriend for yourself.
[00:34:01] Speaker F: Oh, who?
[00:34:01] Speaker G: Black Canary?
[00:34:02] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:34:02] Speaker H: Oh,
[00:34:05] Speaker C: I love Hawkgirl.
[00:34:07] Speaker F: I know.
[00:34:08] Speaker C: She kicks ass.
[00:34:10] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:34:11] Speaker C: Which makes me even angrier that they didn't just make her a member immediately. I mean, she was an honorary member, but that hardly counts.
And then when they did make her a member, these assholes were complaining about it.
[00:34:25] Speaker E: Really?
[00:34:26] Speaker C: Superman was the worst.
[00:34:27] Speaker G: Really?
[00:34:28] Speaker C: Yeah. So we don't need any duplication of powers in Justice League.
[00:34:31] Speaker F: Oh, right.
[00:34:33] Speaker C: Well, you and Wonder Woman are both strong. Why don't you quit?
Anyway, anything to add?
[00:34:43] Speaker F: I'm so, so, so, so glad that we did these. We're getting caught up.
[00:34:48] Speaker C: I'm happy, girl.
[00:34:50] Speaker F: I'm looking forward to the work we have coming up.
[00:34:53] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:34:53] Speaker F: But I'm also looking forward to that time afterward when we can sort of take a collective sigh and visit with
[00:35:00] Speaker G: our friends again, you know, and visit with our friends.
[00:35:04] Speaker C: Pack for France.
[00:35:06] Speaker G: Oh, my goodness. That's right.
[00:35:07] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:35:08] Speaker C: Yeah, maybe. Unless France burns down before then.
[00:35:11] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:35:12] Speaker C: Stay tuned. Also, I'll have an exciting announcement coming up, but I'm not saying anything yet. Yes, yes, you can find us on social media, ogocheckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcast. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. And you can find us right back here next week with what? Superboy 80 page giant.
[00:35:32] Speaker F: Oh, God.
[00:35:33] Speaker G: What?
[00:35:35] Speaker F: Well, I'll have that time on the plane to read it.
[00:35:37] Speaker H: Yeah.
[00:35:39] Speaker D: Byeeping. My chance to look inside your mind.
