Life in Crapademia (Action Comics 333)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:02] Speaker A: Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past. A loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This Week, Action Comics 333Cover Date February 1966Cover Price $0.12.Cover Artist Kurt Swan and George Klein. Edited by Mort Weisinger. Featuring Superman Super Boo Boos written by Leo Dorfman with art by Al Plastino. In which Lex Luthor continues a campaign of psychological warfare on Superman and the duel between Superwoman and Superboy. Writer Leo Dorfman. Artist Jim Mooney. In which imaginary Superboy torments imaginary Superwoman. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. Criminal scientific genius Lex Luthor has escaped a distant prison asteroid and gone to the planet Lexor where not only is he considered a superhero, but has a pretty young wife. After Superman unwittingly reveals to Mrs. Luthor her husband's criminal career on Earth, Luthor vows revenge and returns to Earth where he launches a campaign of psychological warfare on Superman by being helpful and not a dick. Also in this issue, the duel between Superwoman and Superboy. In this imaginary reality, it is Supergirl who arrives first on Earth and grows up to be Superwoman, while Superboy arrives as a teenager and a trouble causing one to boot. As if there's any other kind. Certain that Superwoman is jealous of him, he stages the mother of all teenage rebellions and declares all out war on Superwoman. Confused yet? I know I am. I'll be right back with a special guest to break things down right after this message from the public Service announcement. Players. [00:02:29] Speaker A: Public service announcement Theatre presents the Invisible Handicap. Look at that dopey drawing. [00:02:47] Speaker B: Hey, what's got into Todd? [00:02:49] Speaker A: He's a real weirdo. Something's wrong with him. [00:02:53] Speaker B: Look out, here comes Ms. Smith. You're right children. Something is wrong with him. You wouldn't have acted that way if he were blind or lame. Something you could see. But this new boy happens to have a handicap that's invisible damage to part of the brain. There are more like him than most people realise. Because of faulty perception, he doesn't see or do things quite as you do, and we're trying to help him adjust. That's why you shouldn't have made fun of him or anyone who has something wrong with him. [00:03:31] Speaker A: Gosh, Ms. Smith, we didn't know. We'll try to help several months later. [00:03:40] Speaker B: Gee, Todd, that's great. Pretty soon you're going to have to help us present it as a public service. A cooperation with the National Social Welfare Assembly Coordinating Organization for National Health, Welfare and Recreation agencies of the USA. Oh, hi, I'm back. It's me, Dr. Bob. [00:04:01] Speaker A: And me, Dr. [00:04:02] Speaker B: Rob. Dr. Rob's here as my special guest to talk about comics. Yeah, he's also married to me. I didn't mention that before because I didn't want to drive away any potential audience members, this being our pilot episode and all. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Well, let's see what happens now. [00:04:17] Speaker B: So here's the gimmick. DC Comics had these comics in the 1960s and 70s, specifically February 1966 through August 1967, where they had this checkerboard masthead across the top. They called them Go Go Checks. [00:04:34] Speaker A: Go Go Checks. [00:04:35] Speaker B: So if you're of a certain age, you remember when comics were sold down at the drugstore, the five and dime, in those spinner racks that spun around? [00:04:43] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Ours was at the gas station. Yeah. [00:04:45] Speaker B: So they were stored vertically in the spinner racks. And somebody at DC Comics, specifically DC Editorial director Erwin Donenfeld. Donenfeld. Field felt Donenfeld. He thought it would be a good idea to have something across the top of the comics that caught the eye of the little children coming in to get their bubblegum and comic books, because. [00:05:08] Speaker A: The colorful comic book, you know, covers weren't enough to capture. [00:05:12] Speaker B: That's the point, Rob. You couldn't see the covers because they were stuck down on those racks. [00:05:16] Speaker A: Oh, that's clever. [00:05:17] Speaker B: So if you're just a DC Comics fan, as I was in my youth, you just look at the rack and see the checkerboard, and you'd know exactly where to put your greasy little paw. [00:05:28] Speaker A: It's a sign of true quality. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Well, see, that's the thing. It's not really. These DC Comics of this particular period are known for their mediocrity and bad stories. [00:05:39] Speaker A: Oh, are they? [00:05:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:41] Speaker A: Good. [00:05:42] Speaker B: Well, some of them we'll see. We've got about 10 years worth of content if we're going to do this podcast on a weekly basis. [00:05:48] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:49] Speaker B: So hang in there. So here we are with our first episode. [00:05:53] Speaker A: Right. [00:05:54] Speaker B: And the very first comic printed with the checkerboard masthead. [00:05:58] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:58] Speaker B: Action comics number 333, number 333. I grew up reading comics, specifically DC comics. I didn't have much use for Marvel comics. Dr. Rob didn't grow up reading comics so much. [00:06:11] Speaker A: No. I would grab one occasionally. A DC comic. I was mostly interested in Green Lantern for some reason. [00:06:17] Speaker B: So, action comics number 333. Let's talk about the COVID Okay. What about the COVID Well, we have Superman. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Mm. [00:06:24] Speaker B: He's on a stage. [00:06:26] Speaker A: Yes. [00:06:27] Speaker B: He's superimposed with the image of, like, a Komodo dragon. [00:06:33] Speaker A: Yes. It's almost as if the Komodo dragon is made out of gelatin and he's wearing it as a half cape. [00:06:40] Speaker B: And Superman's inside the gelatin mold. Right, right. The Komodo dragon, He's firing his heat. Well, actually, the dragon is firing heat vision at the scroll. A bronze scroll. [00:06:56] Speaker A: Right. [00:06:57] Speaker B: On the ground are several professors in full academic regalia, all of which are. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Apparently all the same age. They're all white men with white hair, pointing. They're all wearing white shirts under black robes and pointing in horror at Superman. [00:07:13] Speaker B: And mortar boards. [00:07:14] Speaker A: They. [00:07:14] Speaker B: They have mortarboard caps on their hands. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:16] Speaker B: One of the professors is saying, by. [00:07:18] Speaker A: The way, they're also turned to the wrong side, but that's okay. [00:07:22] Speaker B: They are. [00:07:22] Speaker A: Yes. They're all. They're, like, on the right side, and they should be on the left side, but that's. [00:07:27] Speaker B: Well, I don't know about that. [00:07:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:29] Speaker B: One of the professors is screaming, run, everybody. Superman's changed into a dragon with a red cape, and it's melting that bronze scroll with flames from its eyes, while Superman thinks, what dragon have these college profs flipped? I'm only doing what they asked me to do. Autographing their honor scroll with my heat vision. [00:07:48] Speaker A: Which brings me to my first question. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Yes. [00:07:51] Speaker A: If that's an honor scroll and there were other names on that scroll, why. How were the other names placed on the scroll? Why is it that Superman has to pay for this honorary degree that he's given by scrolling his name with his eyes? And is this something that he does? I mean, does he. Is the movement of his eyes so precise that he's going to. He's going to literally, you know, scroll on this metal scroll? Superman. [00:08:20] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. He's very precise. He's super. I'm trying now to read the other names that are on there. It looks like Percy Jackson. Aaron Carter. Janis Joplin. Superman. [00:08:32] Speaker A: No, James. Stupid. Oh, Jamie. Stupid. [00:08:36] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. [00:08:36] Speaker A: Okay. [00:08:37] Speaker B: Meanwhile, there's a banner at the bottom of the COVID Is the man of Steel, a Superman or a super monster? The verdict is yours. Well, it's not ours. We weren't given a chance to vote. [00:08:50] Speaker A: Once we turned the COVID No. [00:08:52] Speaker B: All right, so our first story in this issue, Superman Super Boo boos. First, I should say the self imposed rules of this podcast are that I'm only covering issues that have the checkerboard masthead. That being said, this is the second part of a three part story. [00:09:10] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:11] Speaker B: So we might have a little bit of catching up to do. Essentially, Lex Luthor has escaped a prison asteroid and has decided to take revenge on Superman by using psychological warfare. [00:09:23] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:24] Speaker B: Making Superman think that he's turned good and is going to help Superman. [00:09:29] Speaker A: Yes. Because as I'm learning, Superman is incredibly simple and he's easily fooled. [00:09:36] Speaker B: Well, yes. He's just a good guy. Rob. [00:09:40] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:41] Speaker B: Superboy, Scout, if you will. [00:09:44] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:44] Speaker B: Luther, for demonstration purposes, has a rabbit in a maze in his secret headquarters. [00:09:51] Speaker A: And he's talking to his what, his fellow criminals. [00:09:55] Speaker B: Well, there's henchmen. [00:09:56] Speaker A: Yeah. And I imagine that they say things like, yeah, and you got it, boss. Right. [00:10:01] Speaker B: Well, yeah. [00:10:03] Speaker A: And he talks like this. It's very stern and very direct. He's very smart. [00:10:09] Speaker B: In fact, from the text, I see that he's a criminal scientific genius. [00:10:13] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:14] Speaker B: Now, I had forgotten that Lex Luthor had a wife on another planet until I read this issue. I did know that at one time. [00:10:24] Speaker A: Yes. Okay, here we have. I didn't. [00:10:26] Speaker B: Well, it's not common knowledge, I suppose, because I think she died later on. [00:10:32] Speaker A: He's from the. He tunes in on this screen, which gives him live feed from the planet Lexor. [00:10:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:39] Speaker A: Which brings me to one of the problems I have with this comic. In that he has this basically a television where he can tune in. He must have cameras placed everywhere. And, and he has the ability to simultaneously see what's going on in many places across planets, across galaxies. Yeah, he, he, he looks in on, you know, across the town and he sees that Superman is, is baffled at something. And then he's looking at his wife who's looking at a picture of him on another planet. Oh, and then Superman later on takes these, the, this train load of people and dumps them on Venus, which he sees. Which. Okay, we'll get to the whole part of them walking on Venus. But I just don't understand. The man is how does he have all this technology and why is he wasting his time chasing after Superman? [00:11:28] Speaker B: Well, that's been explained in later years, which probably wasn't thought of in the 60s yet. [00:11:34] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:34] Speaker B: But it's that, you know, Lex Luthor is jealous of Superman and thinks that human beings should be able to accomplish all these fantastic things without the use of an alien interloper. [00:11:44] Speaker A: Oh. [00:11:45] Speaker B: Which makes perfect sense. [00:11:47] Speaker A: I'll keep that in mind. [00:11:47] Speaker B: They hadn't thought of that yet in the 60s. [00:11:49] Speaker A: And another thing. [00:11:50] Speaker B: What? [00:11:51] Speaker A: I have the rabbit. The rabbit racing around in a glass maze. [00:11:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:55] Speaker A: Going by its carrots. Yeah, I just. Okay, so he's created a maze and the rabbit can't get its carrots. And then he puts the. He puts the rabbit outside of the maze next to the carrots, and the rabbit just keeps on running in circles. [00:12:09] Speaker B: Because the rabbit is freaked out, man. It's too freaked out to eat. [00:12:13] Speaker A: So how old does one have to be to actually buy the fact that the rabbit's freaked out because it's been in a glass maze? [00:12:19] Speaker B: Listen, it's all psychology, okay? Trapped in a maze, it can't get at its food. The creature is so baffled that its brain has been permanently affected. It's right there in the. Did you read this comic? [00:12:31] Speaker A: I. I did. I just. You know, I didn't grow up reading comics. [00:12:35] Speaker B: Right. [00:12:35] Speaker A: And so, I mean, I did read the occasional comic, but. But, I mean, you have to suspend a lot of disbelief to actually enjoy comics. [00:12:44] Speaker B: So we're reading a comic about a man who can fly through space, but you're having a problem with the rabbit not eating carrots? [00:12:50] Speaker A: Well, I saw it in the movies when I was a child. I. You know, of course. [00:12:54] Speaker B: So what I like best is that Luther has this monitor that can see across the galaxy. [00:12:59] Speaker A: Yes. [00:12:59] Speaker B: Planet. Where his wife is holding an 8 by 10 gloss. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Yeah. How does she. [00:13:04] Speaker B: Why can't she have a monitor? [00:13:06] Speaker A: Well, that's a great idea. That's a. That's a great question. Why. And why is he. Why is he dressed in Earth clothing and she's wearing this sort of galactic tiara and a dress that just, you know, with a strapless dress. Not strapless, but just a little over the shoulders, you know, sleeveless dress. Staring at a picture of him in Earth clothing. Did he mail it to her with a super galactic post office? Probably. [00:13:32] Speaker B: I don't know. Maybe he took the picture there. [00:13:35] Speaker A: Why didn't he stay? [00:13:37] Speaker B: Well, because he had his criminal career on Earth. Maybe we'd know if we could read the issue before this, but we can't because it didn't have a checkerboard on it. [00:13:47] Speaker A: Anyway, notice that she does have a tear by her right eye. [00:13:50] Speaker B: Superman gets into trouble Which Luther sees on his monitor and sends a missile to help Superman out of the problem. How do we know it's from Luther? [00:14:00] Speaker A: Because it's got his signature on his face. His face. [00:14:04] Speaker B: Look at his face. Right? [00:14:05] Speaker A: He's even smiling. [00:14:08] Speaker B: Courtesy of Lex Luthor. Yeah, well, Superman is really baffled, isn't he? [00:14:15] Speaker A: Of course he is. [00:14:15] Speaker B: He doesn't figure out why Luther's helping him? [00:14:18] Speaker A: No. No. [00:14:20] Speaker B: Then we get to the graduation ceremonies. [00:14:22] Speaker A: At Metropolis Engineering where he becomes the gelatin encased, fire shooting Komodo dragon with a cape. [00:14:33] Speaker B: I know you have a problem with this. Superman's being granted the honorary degree of Doctor of Super Science. [00:14:43] Speaker A: Yes. See, us both, being in higher education, I've seen a lot of crazy things in my years and. And a lot of honorary doctorates handed out to people like. I won't say his name, but that one that they gave to Captain Kick Ass who came and spoke at the commencement. Remember that? [00:15:01] Speaker B: Oh, the guy from Avatar. [00:15:02] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Who we called Captain Kick Ass. But anyway, here he's getting an honorary doctorate of super science. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:10] Speaker A: And he wasn't even allowed to speak. I mean, apparently they're giving him this degree and then he has to go to work. He has to carve his name in this metal scroll with his eyes. I mean, I guess they're doing that for effect because, I mean, everybody else didn't get to do that with their eyes because no one else can do it. So basically they're making him. They're giving him this honorary degree for his work and saying, by the way, we'd love for you to show us how you do it. Would you please put your name in the scroll? Oh, my God, he's now a dragon. [00:15:36] Speaker B: Well, I imagine that normally people that get honorary degrees have given some kind of donation to the college. But since Superman does not perform good deeds for money and he's a newspaper reporter, he probably doesn't make much. So he probably didn't give a donation. [00:15:53] Speaker A: Yeah, his degree. So he has to do something. So then he, you know, flies off. [00:16:00] Speaker B: In the shape of a dragon. [00:16:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Jimmy Olsen sees him. Of course. [00:16:05] Speaker B: Yes. And takes a picture of the Daily Planet. So somebody's doing some work right? Now, Superman knows that this cannot be the result of red kryptonite because it wears off right away. [00:16:18] Speaker A: And he feels it. [00:16:19] Speaker B: And he feels red kryptonite. [00:16:20] Speaker A: Well, I thought red kryptonite could last as long as 24 hours. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Oh, it does last exactly 24 hours. [00:16:26] Speaker A: Oh, it does. [00:16:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:28] Speaker A: But he doesn't feel any tingling and it wears off in his apartment. And he's standing there. [00:16:32] Speaker B: Yeah. So he's really freaked out again. [00:16:35] Speaker A: Of course, one can understand why his nerves would be. The nerves of steel. Yes. Would be somewhat shaken. [00:16:42] Speaker B: So Superman flies off into space to. [00:16:45] Speaker A: Take some time off, relax on the cloud planet. Okay, let me read this. Ah. Lying on these cloud planets is like floating on air. Plants. Oh, plants. Oh, you know, the print's rather small. I couldn't. Yeah, okay. Cloud, plants. And the wind makes such soothing melodies as it blows through those Harmono rocks. Just the way. Just the thing to relax my tense nerves. [00:17:12] Speaker B: Well, that would do it for me, I guess. [00:17:14] Speaker A: It would do it for me too. Although he is. It doesn't look like a very pretty place. I mean, I guess cloud plants are. Okay. [00:17:22] Speaker B: Well, it looks like it has a red sky and orange mountains and cloud plants. Yeah, I guess. No other inhabitants, though. [00:17:32] Speaker A: No. [00:17:33] Speaker B: So Superman. Back to Earth he comes. [00:17:36] Speaker A: Okay, so I have to go. You're gonna talk about the robot, right? [00:17:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:42] Speaker A: Are you gonna talk about its curious angle of its. Of its right hand and the fact that its back is slightly arched? [00:17:47] Speaker B: I could talk about that as if. [00:17:48] Speaker A: It'S mincing into the bank with this red globe? As if it's not. As if it's on a catwalk. [00:17:56] Speaker B: We're making a lot of assumptions. Maybe it's a girl robot. Maybe that's just a curve of her hip. [00:18:01] Speaker A: Well, that would explain the peplum angle of the scar of the skirt. [00:18:05] Speaker B: However, we do have, again, Lex Luthor's face and initials plastered on the back of the robot. So we know it's from him. [00:18:12] Speaker A: We know it's from him. [00:18:13] Speaker B: It's walking into a bank. [00:18:15] Speaker A: I know it's a strange angle for that, for them to have illustrated this robot. [00:18:20] Speaker B: If I saw a robot walking into a bank with Lex Luthor's face on it, I'd assume the robot was up to no good. [00:18:26] Speaker A: I would too. [00:18:27] Speaker B: As Superman does. [00:18:28] Speaker A: Yes. [00:18:30] Speaker B: Even after Superman tries to apprehend the robot, the robot says, do not attack. I am programmed to resist all interference with my mission. [00:18:38] Speaker A: Which he responds by giving it a rather extreme manicure. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Yes. Followed by a gut punch. [00:18:45] Speaker A: Gut punch. [00:18:48] Speaker B: The police show up with the explanation that the robot was actually returning money. [00:18:56] Speaker A: That Luther has stolen previously and that because he destroyed the robot, probably Lex Luthor will not return any more of the stolen money. [00:19:03] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:03] Speaker A: Which. Okay, but I was thinking about this. I was like, okay, if they know that Lex Luthor has stolen this money, is he just unreachable? Do they Just wait for these robots to appear and give the money back. Can they not arrest him? [00:19:21] Speaker B: Arrest him for what? Returning money. [00:19:24] Speaker A: Well, they know he has the money. He's not. These aren't direct deposit robots. These aren't robots with a deposit slip saying, here, take the money. This is from the interest earned on Lex Luthor's accounts this week. I mean, they said he is returning stolen money. [00:19:38] Speaker B: Well, I don't know how the law works here. You have this caped vigilante flying around town just arresting people willy nilly. I don't imagine there's much legal oversight in this world, do you? [00:19:50] Speaker A: I guess not. [00:19:51] Speaker B: Well. Oh, this is interesting. [00:19:54] Speaker A: What? [00:19:55] Speaker B: Well, at the bottom panel here we have a newspaper with the headline Superman goofs. But it's not the Daily Planet, it's the Daily Standard. [00:20:03] Speaker A: Right. [00:20:03] Speaker B: I guess Metropolis is a two paper town. [00:20:06] Speaker A: Well, yes. Well, this is before the Internets and you know, they just, they might even have two editions a day. [00:20:13] Speaker B: Could be. Now I grew up in a two paper town, Rob. [00:20:16] Speaker A: Yes, you did. [00:20:17] Speaker B: Columbus, Ohio. We had the Citizen Journal in the morning and the Columbus Dispatch at night. [00:20:22] Speaker A: Now we did have the, the News and Observer, which was a newspaper in New Smyrna beach. And we had the newspaper in, in Daytona beach, what was it? The News Journal. Right. News Journal, yeah. [00:20:36] Speaker B: Now the Citizen Journal in the morning, they had the best comics. They had Peanuts and Dagwood and the classic comics. And they also had Doonesbury, which meant they were liberal rag. And the Columbus Dispatch in the evening, that was the conservative paper. [00:20:54] Speaker A: Oh, this reminds me of something. When I was growing up, my grandmother used to send me letters. She used to type letters to me, which I loved, reading them. And she would always fold up comics from the Miami Herald, color comics, and put them in the envelope. And then when, when she would send presents for birthdays and Christmas, she would also include pages from the comics, which I loved. [00:21:18] Speaker B: Who wouldn't? [00:21:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Now we're coming on to my very favorite two pages of the whole comic. [00:21:26] Speaker A: The first, when the robot, meaning the, the communicator rocket. [00:21:33] Speaker B: Yeah, the Lexophone. The two way Lexaphone. [00:21:35] Speaker A: Two way Lexaphone. It's a rocket that flies around. It must have a very loud speaker and microphone because it's a. It's a rocket. [00:21:42] Speaker B: It's literally Superman sitting on the top of a mountain and there's a rocket buzzing around his head. [00:21:47] Speaker A: Literally buzzing around his head. [00:21:49] Speaker B: There's really no context to tell if it's like a full sized Saturn V rocket or if it's A little tiny missile of some kind because it's constantly in motion. [00:21:58] Speaker A: Well, that's a very good observation, except that when you go back to the comic earlier, you'll see that he launches that from his. From inside of his office. [00:22:06] Speaker B: Oh, I see it right there. [00:22:07] Speaker A: Yes. [00:22:08] Speaker B: Actually he's launching it from his desktop or something. [00:22:10] Speaker A: Right. And looking at Superman sitting alone, it looks like he's crying on the mountaintop. He's holding himself. [00:22:17] Speaker B: No, he's just has his chin in his hands. [00:22:19] Speaker A: Oh, he's, he's being pensive again here. [00:22:21] Speaker B: Luther can see Superman through his monitor. Could he not set up some kind of two way communication? [00:22:27] Speaker A: So, so, so there's a camera or something. How is he seeing him in advance and then sending the rocket to him to have a two way conversation? And he says, attention Superman, this is Lex Luthor speaking through my two way Lexophone. Yeah, it's a gas powered rocket phone. [00:22:48] Speaker B: Well, they didn't have cell towers then. [00:22:52] Speaker A: So it's an awfully expensive way of communication. [00:22:55] Speaker B: Well, we've established that he's stolen quite a bit of money. So now the Lexaphone is there to tell Superman that there is a. I. [00:23:05] Speaker A: Don'T know where you're going. You're gonna talk about the fact that they're going into the train. [00:23:11] Speaker B: I'm going to the train scene. There's a runaway train full of radioactive material. [00:23:16] Speaker A: No, it's. Oh yeah, that's what he proposes. Yes, yes. [00:23:19] Speaker B: And so Luther says if the train is wrecked, the entire area will be contaminated. Millions will die. Fly the train to the planet Venus where the radioactive cargo can't harm anyone, and you'll be the world's greatest hero once more. Yes, Superman, A. Okay, Lex, thanks. You're right. [00:23:39] Speaker A: Now they will be thanking me in spades. [00:23:44] Speaker B: So he's flying the train to the planet Venus. Oh, by the way, the train is completely windowless and lined with lead, so Superman can't see what's inside. [00:23:54] Speaker A: Completely intact too. I mean, we know how trains actually work, right? We understand that they can actually come unhitched when they're not on the same plane. So he has, he's towing it, dragging it. Now, apparently it's an airtight vacuum sealed, windowless drain. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Yes. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Full of radioactive material and lead lines. [00:24:15] Speaker B: So he thinks. [00:24:17] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:17] Speaker B: Oh, well, if it's full of radioactive material, of course it's bloodlined because he. They would want to protect it from the populace. Right? [00:24:26] Speaker A: Yes. Okay. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Now Superman deposits the train on the. [00:24:29] Speaker A: Surface on Venus of Venus and leaves. [00:24:33] Speaker B: But as it turns out the train, the windowless lead lined train is actually full of international policemen on their way to an International Police Convention. [00:24:44] Speaker A: 1000 of them to be exact. [00:24:46] Speaker B: How do we know they're international? International policeman. [00:24:49] Speaker A: They're all dressed in costumes from their countries. [00:24:52] Speaker B: We've got here, let's see, a French gendarme. [00:24:56] Speaker A: So he actually says, sacre bleu. We were on our way to an international police convention and suddenly. Oh, that's a terrible French accent. I'm so sorry. [00:25:06] Speaker B: Colombian. We have. [00:25:10] Speaker A: What's in the back? There's a Canadian Mountie. [00:25:12] Speaker B: Canadian Mountie, of course. [00:25:14] Speaker A: Is that South Africa? What's with the guy with the. In the white? The guy. [00:25:17] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:25:18] Speaker A: Is there someone from the Napoleon era? Do you see the guy squatting down in the back? [00:25:22] Speaker B: Captain Crunch, Somebody in green. What police force wears green? [00:25:32] Speaker A: Irish. And then some silhouettes in the back. [00:25:35] Speaker B: And then here we are again, the headline. [00:25:37] Speaker A: Oh, there's an American police officer. Of course. He's in the forefront, right? [00:25:40] Speaker B: Oh, yes, yes. He looks like a Brooklyn beat cop. [00:25:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Are you going to actually stop for a moment and say, how are they standing and breathing on Venus? [00:25:51] Speaker B: Yes. I mean, imagine being an international policeman on your way to a convention. You have to ride in a windowless lead lined train to get there. And oh, by the way, you're on the surface of Venus. So either you've been crushed to death by the atmospheric pressure or burned alive. I think I'd rather be crushed to death. [00:26:09] Speaker A: Death. Well, I'm looking at the ground and apparently there's, there's, there's textures and it, one, one might even see that that's supposed to be grass. [00:26:16] Speaker B: Well, if you look at the previous panel, when he deposits the train, there are some trees. Dr. Seuss, like. [00:26:21] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes. [00:26:22] Speaker B: Trees, Truffle trees. [00:26:24] Speaker A: Some truck. Yes, something like that. I don't, I don't know. Huffleump trees. I don't, I don't know. [00:26:29] Speaker B: It doesn't matter. What matters is this headline in the Daily standard. Superman steals 1,000 copies. [00:26:36] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:37] Speaker B: Did he bring them back? Stealing implies that he still has them. [00:26:42] Speaker A: Yes, that's the interesting thing. So he got home. If Lex. [00:26:47] Speaker B: Oh, wait, I've just read ahead. Yes, he, he left them there. [00:26:51] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:52] Speaker B: So Superman deposited the train and flew away. And that's when the international policeman stepped out of the train. [00:26:59] Speaker A: Right. And is that Jimmy Olsen telling him that? [00:27:01] Speaker B: Yes. [00:27:02] Speaker A: With the bow tie. [00:27:03] Speaker B: Yes. [00:27:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. [00:27:04] Speaker B: Freckles in a bow tie. That's an Olsen for sure. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. And then the Next panel at the bottom. What is he doing at a circus? Right? And they say, talk about circuses. There's Superman, the funniest clown of them all. To think that I used to dream of having a date with him. Really? Well, what's he doing at a circus? Did he return them to a circus? [00:27:27] Speaker B: I guess it's all to set up that clown joke. Yes, and poor Superman. I'm ashamed to wear this costume. I'll switch to Clark Kent. [00:27:38] Speaker A: They did a really good job of drawing him. Sad. [00:27:41] Speaker B: Yeah, well, yeah, he's sad a lot in this era. So not even changing to Clark Kent helps because he's walking down the street. [00:27:53] Speaker A: His Clark Kent, and he's apprehended by. [00:27:55] Speaker B: Some ute approached by a child to sign a petition demanding that Superman leave Metropolis. [00:28:00] Speaker A: Which he, of course, signs. And he's right handed. [00:28:04] Speaker B: That's a good observation. [00:28:05] Speaker A: I probably observe a lot of things that you don't. [00:28:08] Speaker B: Probably that's. [00:28:08] Speaker A: You've been reading comics all your life. [00:28:10] Speaker B: I just take a lot of stuff on faith. All right. Snowstorm in the middle of summer. Luthor is using his Dino Frost machine to affect the weather. He's in fact, created a glacier which is breaking through. A dam above Metropolis is going to send a glacier pushing through. [00:28:34] Speaker A: Okay, I have to say this. I have to say this. Okay. Exactly. Exactly, exactly. Okay. So one of the things that comes up in several of these panels is the speed of the glacier hurling itself towards Metropolis. You know, and I'm thinking, well, I mean, I didn't live through the last ice age, but I have been to the Finger Lakes region. I've been to Glacier National Park. I've seen what glaciers do. I don't understand how this is going to hurdle itself toward Metropolis. [00:29:06] Speaker B: Well, I guess you don't understand super science. You don't have an honorary doctorate. [00:29:11] Speaker A: I suppose so. Well, I. I didn't. I. I did really like how they all have this matching red outfits with little white fur. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. I guess they can all see each other when they're up to mayhem. [00:29:22] Speaker B: So it's like, what, shirts? V. Skins shirts, blue cape. Superman. Yeah, well, Superman, this puts him over the edge. He's flying around like the duophone. What was it called? The flexophone. [00:29:39] Speaker A: Flexophone. Lexaphone. Lexaphone. [00:29:41] Speaker B: He's buzzing around in a circle, completely stymied into inaction. Just thinking no matter what course of action I take, I'll probably be wrong. [00:29:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:52] Speaker B: Yeah. He doesn't know if Luther's trying to help. [00:29:54] Speaker A: He wants to melt the glaciers. But then he's afraid that the torrent of water will pour through the. The dam. He can't melt the glaciers. If he doesn't melt the glaciers, then they will hurdle to at a geological speed towards Metropolis. I mean, they're going to have time to move Metropolis with the amount of time that it would take to that glacier. Like they could. They could take it down and rebuild it two miles away and never have any problems. [00:30:17] Speaker B: Yeah, but what if that's all part of Luther's plan? [00:30:22] Speaker A: What if he owns the real estate where he wants Metropolis moved to? [00:30:26] Speaker B: Oh, that's just like Superman the movie, isn't it? Tried to destroy the west coast. [00:30:30] Speaker A: Right. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Well, that's the end of that story. We'll have to wait for the resolution until issue 330. [00:30:34] Speaker A: Oh, I have one thing to say. Yes, per. Per Superman. [00:30:39] Speaker B: So we're gonna move to the next story. But first we have this little insert page here. The many faces of Superman. [00:30:46] Speaker A: Were they short? Were they. Were they looking for cartoonists? [00:30:49] Speaker B: Well, no, because this is drawn by Curt Swan, who, at least in my childhood, was the definitive Superman artist. [00:30:57] Speaker A: Mm. [00:30:58] Speaker B: I guess he probably hadn't started full time on Superman yet at this point. But right here we have a page of faces drawn by Kurt. Salon of Superman. Let's see, we have Superman blowing something. Superman or whistling, maybe he's whistling. [00:31:15] Speaker A: Super whistling. [00:31:16] Speaker B: There's a sad face at the top. He's screaming. Screaming. Side angle. [00:31:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:22] Speaker B: Worried. [00:31:23] Speaker A: Have you looked just to the left of the yellow. The many faces of Superman just left, Sort of like at around 8 o' clock. What kind of face is that? [00:31:33] Speaker B: Well, I. We would call that a face of pleasure, I think. [00:31:37] Speaker A: Yeah, like a super ecstatic face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laughing, winking, winking. At the bottom there's two winks, actually. Yeah. [00:31:48] Speaker B: There's another blowing out of a candle or something. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Probably blowing a building over. [00:31:53] Speaker B: Well. [00:31:54] Speaker A: Or a robot blowing the middle out of a robot. [00:31:57] Speaker B: Look, just at like 5 o' clock, there's a little small one that looks like he's going, ah. [00:32:08] Speaker A: It'S true. Look at this one. It's like, huh, What? [00:32:13] Speaker B: And this one, I'll put a scan of this page on one of my social media. [00:32:20] Speaker A: Oh, this is great. I read this, I read this. I like to read everything. [00:32:25] Speaker B: By the way, you can find us all over social media at Gogo Checkplay Pod. I'll remind you again at the end. Now we come to the second story. This is my favorite. [00:32:34] Speaker A: May I ask you something? [00:32:35] Speaker B: Yes, you may. [00:32:36] Speaker A: Are we Going to be seeing more. [00:32:37] Speaker B: Of these imaginary stories. Oh, yes. This was a very popular sub genre in the 50s and 60s where they could tell stories that they couldn't tell in the real continent. [00:32:49] Speaker A: Okay. This was just one page shorter than the Superman story on the top of the car. [00:32:53] Speaker B: And it's got 85% more content, tons. [00:32:57] Speaker A: Of text that you have to read. [00:32:59] Speaker B: Lots of text and lots of backstory. So an imaginary story, of course, is something that couldn't really happen or that didn't really happen, but sets up some new kind of status quo for a character. So in this imaginary story, it's Supergirl, who has come to Earth, rocketed from the planet Krypton as a baby, and Superboy, who survived on a floating chunk of Krypton and then later was sent. [00:33:29] Speaker A: To Earth, landed in the ocean. [00:33:32] Speaker B: So it's just the opposite situation from Superman coming in, Supergirl coming later as a teenager. [00:33:38] Speaker A: And I'm assuming that, you know, my role in this is just to sort of point out things that I find rather peculiar. [00:33:43] Speaker B: Yes. [00:33:44] Speaker A: Like the very first panel. Super Boys, Superboy's laboratory, Keep Out. Right, right. Super Boy's laboratory, Keep out. [00:33:54] Speaker B: Again, a splash page. It's going to lure you into the story. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Right, okay. Well, this would probably be around just after the staples in. In the piece. Right, right. [00:34:05] Speaker B: So this story is called the Duel between Superman. [00:34:10] Speaker A: Or, sorry, Superwoman. Superwoman and Super Boy. [00:34:12] Speaker B: Super Boy. Now, let me just say there is no one in this story that is not an end to end. [00:34:23] Speaker A: Oh, that's so true. [00:34:24] Speaker B: Possibly. The possible exceptions are the orphans. [00:34:27] Speaker A: The orphan. Well, and. And the. The adopted parents. [00:34:30] Speaker B: No, they're assholes, too, because they adopt. [00:34:32] Speaker A: Him and leave for conference, because even. [00:34:36] Speaker B: Before they adopt it, first they're going to adopt Diane, but then her dolls are destroyed, and they say in front of Diane, oh, no, sorry, we can't take her. She might hurt our pets. [00:34:44] Speaker A: Right, right. Our pets. [00:34:46] Speaker B: Our pets. [00:34:47] Speaker A: Right. [00:34:49] Speaker B: And this. Yes. Then they do adopt the new orphan. And then. [00:34:52] Speaker A: And then they offer to take the boy who is framed for stealing. [00:34:55] Speaker B: Manly Stan. [00:34:56] Speaker A: Manly Stan. And. But, but they offer like, you know, maybe he doesn't steal. And. And of course, that's where the. The madam of the orphan, she's called, like, Battam or something, or Matron. Matron. The matron of the orphanage. [00:35:08] Speaker B: Probably a nun. [00:35:11] Speaker A: So she's a very angry woman. [00:35:13] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:14] Speaker A: She says, no, we have to keep him here to make sure he's not. [00:35:16] Speaker B: A thief, you know, who's angry? Superwoman. [00:35:19] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:35:20] Speaker B: So this is also the Second part of a two part story. Just to recap, Superwoman has come to Earth. She's grown up into Superwoman. Her cousin Kal El comes from Argo City, which is floating chunk of planet Krypton that survived in space. Now, Superboy is a teenage boy. He's so reckless in the use of his powers that Supergirl just has had enough. By the way, this is a problem I'm going to have with Superman as well. [00:35:52] Speaker A: What? [00:35:53] Speaker B: You're, as far as you know, the last surviving living creature of your entire planet. [00:36:00] Speaker A: Yes. [00:36:02] Speaker B: You grow up on another planet. [00:36:05] Speaker A: Yes. [00:36:06] Speaker B: As an adult, you discover another survivor from your planet who improbably is not only the same species as you, but is also your first cousin. [00:36:19] Speaker A: Yeah. What are the odds? [00:36:21] Speaker B: And you send him to live in an orphanage. [00:36:23] Speaker A: Oh, I haven't thought of that. [00:36:26] Speaker B: Welcome to Earth. I'm glad you survived. I'm putting you in. [00:36:28] Speaker A: In an orphanage. In a publicly funded orphanage. [00:36:32] Speaker B: Yes. Now, I had an older brother who was adopted from an orphanage in the 50s. [00:36:38] Speaker A: Yes, I did. [00:36:38] Speaker B: That was not a nice place, orphanages in the 50s. He might as well have taken them to the surface of the planet Venus. Along with those international policemen. [00:36:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:50] Speaker B: So here we are. Superboy and Superwoman are in Superwoman's Fortress of Solitude. She's laying out the various forms of kryptonite. [00:36:59] Speaker A: Wait, you've already gotten them inside of the Fortress of Solitude? Without making one mention of the stupid giant key that is 10 times the size of Superman that they have to use to unlock the Fortress of Solitude. A giant key that he breaks. [00:37:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Now there's an explanation for that. As you know, Superman's Fortress of Solitude is in the Arctic. [00:37:23] Speaker A: Yes. [00:37:25] Speaker B: Well, the giant key is a disguise. It's disguised as an airplane directional marker, so. Because the location of Superman's fortress, of course, is a closely guarded secret. [00:37:39] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:40] Speaker B: And so the key is not only disguised as an airline marker so that the airplanes will keep flying and not discover the fortress, but it's also super heavy. So the only super being could lift it and open the fortress. [00:37:55] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:56] Speaker B: Makes complete sense to me. [00:37:58] Speaker A: Well, and in all the films we've seen of the Fortress of Solitude, you know, they just go right in because it's so remote, no one's going to even find it. Well, right. And then it's also guarded by a robot. [00:38:10] Speaker B: That's why it's in the movies, because somebody found it. So Superwoman has this display of all the kinds of kryptonite. [00:38:18] Speaker A: Okay, now let's talk about this display Right. Have you seen. You've seen all these panels of her being affected by the different. Who drew them? Did she draw them? [00:38:29] Speaker B: What if they're not drawings? What if they're photographs? [00:38:32] Speaker A: Well, what I mean. Hold still, Supergirl, while we take this picture of you losing your powers. Gold kryptonite causes permanent loss of powers. Here she is. Not able to lift a 10 pound weight. Who took that picture? Was it like a Saturday night when she didn't have a date? She was just sort of going, ah. I'm gonna try out my drawing skills. I was reading a comic that urged me to draw faces of Superman. Perhaps I'll draw pictures of myself not being able to lift weights. [00:38:56] Speaker B: Maybe it's some kind of like deep time communication thing. Like if, you know the fortress is going to survive for ten millions of years. Right. Okay, so you know if some archaeologist comes along in the far future and finds these little lead jewelry boxes, don't they? Little lead boxes? [00:39:16] Speaker A: Yes. [00:39:16] Speaker B: Full of kryptonite. Well, they can. Even if they can't read English, they can look at the pictograph and I. [00:39:23] Speaker A: Guess the effects of the first one we see is green kryptonite. Paralyzes and paralyzes. Also fatal after long exposure. And then a picture of her reclining in a Betty Page pose. [00:39:35] Speaker B: I don't. Is she reclining or fainting? [00:39:37] Speaker A: In the act of fainting, she suspended midair. [00:39:40] Speaker B: Well, she can fly. [00:39:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm quite, quite sure what they were thinking when they drew that. I love the picture of her with the red kryptonite. Causes temporary weird effects. And she has a third eye in the middle of her head. [00:39:53] Speaker B: And sea monkey ears. [00:39:54] Speaker A: That's what they are. They're sea monkey ears. [00:39:56] Speaker B: Didn't mess up her hair though. [00:39:58] Speaker A: Not at all. [00:39:58] Speaker B: She still has the curls tonight. Of course, gold kryptonite is going to be key to this story. The kind of Kryptonite that can rob a Kryptonian of their powers forever. So there's a lot of falter all in here we can skip over. [00:40:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:16] Speaker B: The point is, what about the ghosts. [00:40:18] Speaker A: That he releases into into her? [00:40:22] Speaker B: The monstrous creatures from a parallel dimension? [00:40:24] Speaker A: Yeah, they're just ghosts. They're just outlines of ghosts. Not sure look like Casper's playmates. [00:40:31] Speaker B: They do. Maybe it's the ghostly trio. Casper's uncles. The ghostly trio. [00:40:35] Speaker A: Maybe. Maybe they don't have necks though, in these drawings. [00:40:40] Speaker B: So there's no explanation for why Superboy is a dick right from the get. [00:40:45] Speaker A: Go or why he wears a gold wig that Looks like a helmet. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Well, that's because when he's. [00:40:53] Speaker A: Okay, obviously he's trying to have an alter personality when he's been thrown into the orphanage, but he literally, at one point, you see a picture of him lifting it off his head, and it looks like a gold helmet. [00:41:02] Speaker B: Well, we've seen those kind of wigs and antique shops and such, but that's to reference, because Supergirl, when in the real continuity, Supergirl wears a brown wig and her secret identity of Linda Lee. [00:41:16] Speaker A: I see. [00:41:16] Speaker B: She's in an orphanage. [00:41:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, here he is being a dick, destroying her. The. The dolls. [00:41:21] Speaker B: Yes. [00:41:22] Speaker A: Right. [00:41:22] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I'm still on the second page. [00:41:25] Speaker A: Oh, you are. I'm sorry. I'll put. [00:41:27] Speaker B: So Superboy thinks that Superwoman wants to get rid of him. I. There's no textural basis for his dickishness. [00:41:34] Speaker A: No, she. He hasn't been awful. She hasn't been awful to him. He's only just been a dick, like, from the start. He's horrible. [00:41:42] Speaker B: So in this imaginary world, Superboy was raised by his real parents on Krypton or on a chunk of Krypton. Right. Well, maybe it's a good thing that Krypton exploded, that he wasn't raised by those L parents. Yeah, well, because he comes to Earth and is raised by the Kents, and he's perfectly nice young man, but coming now from Krypton, he's a dick. [00:42:06] Speaker A: He's awful. Well, she throws him in that orphanage, doesn't she? [00:42:09] Speaker B: Well, she does, but I. I don't think that's enough to just turn someone into a dick right away. [00:42:14] Speaker A: Well, I mean, he follows her. Like, okay, so she finds him, and then now she puts him in orphanage. Does she have. Is she his legal guardian? No. [00:42:23] Speaker B: What. [00:42:24] Speaker A: I mean, what does she. It'd be like. It'd be like visiting a friend, and then they just take you to some neighbor's house and open the door and put you in the neighbor's house and say, you have to stay here. It doesn't make any sense. [00:42:34] Speaker B: Well, it doesn't really. No, I think you're onto something wrong. So Superboy makes Supergirl think that he has lost his powers to gold Kryptonite. [00:42:43] Speaker A: He goes into this elaborate scheme so. [00:42:50] Speaker B: She thinks he's powerless. He goes back to the orphanage, puts his blonde wig on, knowing that he fooled her completely. Well, he gets to the orphanage, and who's there? Dr. Keane, the famous physicist, and his wife. And his wife. [00:43:05] Speaker A: And they're both. Well, I don't know. She's scientist Too. [00:43:08] Speaker B: Well, I don't know, because she does. [00:43:09] Speaker A: They do go to a physics convention. But maybe he's just taking her along because she likes to shop. [00:43:14] Speaker B: Well, that's. You know what women are like. [00:43:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:18] Speaker B: So there. The Canes are interested in adopting Diane. Now Diane has a doll collection. [00:43:25] Speaker A: She has an interest in collecting dolls. Yes. Although one of the dolls is horrific. Look at the one. It looks like a. One of. One of those Reese's Peanut Butter cup dolls that we saw at Hersheypark. [00:43:36] Speaker B: Pie crust face. [00:43:38] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's literally a human doll with. With a flat face made from a pie tin, and he's chipping off the edges. [00:43:46] Speaker B: She probably doesn't have very many nice things. [00:43:49] Speaker A: Look at all the books she has in her room. She's an orphan. She's got a bed, she's got a book, she's got pictures on the walls. Well, there are plants there. There's any. Look at the potted plant beside Dr. Keane and his wife. There's no leaves on the plant, but there's certainly a plant there. [00:44:02] Speaker B: That's the lobby of the orphanage. [00:44:04] Speaker A: There's a receptionist there, isn't there, too? Yes, we'll learn about him in a minute. [00:44:09] Speaker B: Now, Superboy, in his Secret Identity of Cal Ellis, goes in and shoots marbles at super speed at all of Diane's dolls. [00:44:19] Speaker A: Literally breaks them like legs are flying, heads are falling off. [00:44:24] Speaker B: So here we are in Diane's room with Diane present. Dr. Keane says, I'm afraid that we can't adopt Diane after all, Matron. [00:44:35] Speaker A: And the mother says, we have several pets at home. If Diane is so destructive, she might harm them. [00:44:42] Speaker B: You know, that's my fear of adopting a child, that they might harm the pets. [00:44:46] Speaker A: Well, we're so old, I don't think we really have to worry about that anymore. [00:44:49] Speaker B: Well, probably not, but I'm just saying this is maybe not an irrational fear. Maybe lots of pets were harmed in the 60s. [00:44:57] Speaker A: She's also clutching her necklace. [00:45:00] Speaker B: Well, Diane takes Mrs. Keane. Yes, Diane takes all her dolls, her mutilated dolls, throws them in the river. [00:45:09] Speaker A: The only things that she loves, that she's collected, she throws them into the river. [00:45:12] Speaker B: This is like when Joan Crawford punished Christina by taking away her dolls because. [00:45:19] Speaker A: Christina put the setting lotion in her hair. Was that why? [00:45:22] Speaker B: Oh, no. Because she kept her awake. [00:45:25] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. Yeah. [00:45:26] Speaker B: And then Joan saw Christina having a tea party with her dolls, admonishing them for being bad children. [00:45:31] Speaker A: Yes. Pun. [00:45:32] Speaker B: This is what Diane says. Sniff. You're all torn and broken Sniff, sniff. Who wants you now it's a mother and dad. I wanted choke and now I can't have them. So she's punishing her mutilated dolls. [00:45:46] Speaker A: And then Dick Superboy is back there and he says now that the Kings have rejected Diane, maybe I'll have a chance. [00:45:51] Speaker B: That's what you think, because now they're interested in Stan. [00:45:55] Speaker A: So why wasn't. What's this? Cal. What? Cal. [00:45:59] Speaker B: Cal Ellis. [00:45:59] Speaker A: Cal Ellis. Why isn't Cal Ellis ever an option? Why is it that they first go to Diane, then they go to this other kids? This, this lad, what's his name? Stan? [00:46:12] Speaker B: I don't. I don't know. Well, Stan is bright and manly. It says right here. Well, Superboy's got to get Stan out of the way too. So he breaks into a safe. [00:46:22] Speaker A: Yes. [00:46:23] Speaker B: Makes it look like Stan has stolen a bunch of valuables belonging to several of the orphans. [00:46:28] Speaker A: So the belongings of the orphans are locked into the safe. [00:46:33] Speaker B: Yeah, except for Diane's dolls. [00:46:36] Speaker A: Right. [00:46:37] Speaker B: Stan is leaving with the Keens, and the suitcase pops open, full of valuables. [00:46:43] Speaker A: Doesn't pop open. Super Dick uses his laser vision looking out the window of his bedroom to heat the lock to pop it open. [00:46:52] Speaker B: So the matron sees this, and Dr. Keene still says, every boy makes a slip occasionally. I think we should overlook it. I'm ready to forgive stan. [00:47:02] Speaker A: I'm sorry, Dr. Keene, but we can't release Stan until we're sure we've cured him of stealing. [00:47:07] Speaker B: This is said, by the way, in front of Stan. [00:47:09] Speaker A: We don't want the orphanage to get a bad name. Really don't want the orphanage to get a bad name. [00:47:15] Speaker B: Well, it's an orphanage, so it couldn't get much worse than that. So finally, they're back inside. Bring. Looking at another selection of children, Superboy quickly solves a complicated mathematical problem on the chalkboard in front of Dr. Keane, which impresses him. [00:47:33] Speaker A: Yes, because he's a doctor. Yeah, he's a physicist. Physicist. Of course. [00:47:37] Speaker B: He wants a smart child. They go to their penthouse apartment. [00:47:43] Speaker A: They have a penthouse apartment. And below, there's a laboratory. [00:47:46] Speaker B: I know a lot of professors of physics. I don't know any of them that can afford to live in a penthouse apartment. And it's a two story penthouse apartment because the top story is a laboratory which belongs entirely to Cal. [00:48:00] Speaker A: Hence, we are seeing part of the myth of being in higher education. People believe that A, there's a lot of money and B, all you do is sit around and think, think and do wonderful things. And solve problems, falsehoods. [00:48:12] Speaker B: So immediately the Keens go to a physics convention, leading Superboy in his own. Whereupon he changes into his Superboy costume. [00:48:21] Speaker A: Do we see the hat? See that? The helmet, the hair helmet takes off. [00:48:25] Speaker B: It's fantastic. [00:48:26] Speaker A: Oh, God. And I love the computers, which take up the entire room. You know these computers over here on the wall with the reel to reel recordings and such. Magnetic tape. [00:48:37] Speaker B: Well, as you know, my father worked in computers and that was his job, was to monitor the office floor full of real to real computers, which since I think it ran payroll, was that whole floor of computer. [00:48:51] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:48:52] Speaker B: That's all it could do. [00:48:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:54] Speaker B: Superwoman happens along because she heard that he got adopted. [00:48:58] Speaker A: She heard, yeah. So she takes him to. You know how. Well, how. She would. She opened up the phone book and look at all these different orphanages. [00:49:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:06] Speaker A: And just pick out the one that she dropped him off at. And then she just did. Keep in touch. Maybe she was doing her regular Sunday afternoon visit to her dickish cousin and found out that he was adopted by Dr. Keane, the physicist. [00:49:19] Speaker B: So she comes upon him, he's in his Superboy costume, and she sees him using his heat vision and realizes, of course, that she's been duped. So she realizes that he's actually building a Phantom Zone projector. So he is attempting to free criminals from the Phantom Zone. Yeah, I can't tell you what a bad idea that would be. [00:49:44] Speaker A: No, I. Well, I know what a bad idea that would be. I saw the Superman movies. Well, yes, but one of those guys couldn't even talk that they made that. [00:49:54] Speaker B: Up for the movie. Okay, so this reminds Supergirl Woman. Sorry. Of the, quote, worst juvenile delinquent on Old Crips on unquote. Van Dao. [00:50:07] Speaker A: Van Daal. Right. [00:50:08] Speaker B: And his mother. [00:50:10] Speaker A: Oh, my God. I did not get that until now. Vandal. No, because she reversed him. You're learning fast, Van. [00:50:18] Speaker B: I. That's his mother. [00:50:19] Speaker A: Yes, yes, I see. I see it in the panel above. What a dreadful plot. You remind me of Vandal. Vandal. Yeah, Vandal. [00:50:27] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. But this is interesting. It's a mother son crime team. You don't get that very often. [00:50:33] Speaker A: No. And of course, her name is Tiron. As in tyranny. [00:50:36] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah, I got it right away. So they are so evil and bad that they were sent to solitary confinement in Sector 0 in the Phantom Zone. [00:50:47] Speaker A: You know, they look evil. [00:50:48] Speaker B: They do. [00:50:49] Speaker A: They're drawn evil. [00:50:50] Speaker B: Well, she's a brunette. That's their first. [00:50:52] Speaker A: Yes. And she's got severe Crow's feet. Do you see that wedge in her forehead? [00:50:57] Speaker B: I don't. What's a. What do we call that? Widow's peak. [00:51:00] Speaker A: Yes. [00:51:01] Speaker B: I don't think that Sector 0 has ever been mentioned before or since this. [00:51:06] Speaker A: Really? [00:51:06] Speaker B: Yeah, because I didn't. I mean, I've never heard of it. [00:51:10] Speaker A: I mean. So having not grown up reading these comics, I'm really curious to learn more about the Phantom Zone because all I know is it's. It's. You get. You get put into this plate of glass and you spend the rest of eternity spinning through space screaming by pushing. [00:51:24] Speaker B: It's a cinema invention, the comics. There's this projector that you see, this red machine. [00:51:28] Speaker A: Is this going to infuriate people who are listening to this? That I keep on making references to movies? [00:51:33] Speaker B: Possibly. [00:51:34] Speaker A: Well, once we move beyond Superman, we won't have to worry about that. [00:51:37] Speaker B: So the Phantom Zone was discovered by Jor El, Superman's father, and used as a place to put criminals. They are sent there and they cannot interact with the real world. Now, can they eat? Well, they don't have to eat. [00:51:54] Speaker A: Do they have bodies? [00:51:55] Speaker B: They are immaterial phantoms. Thus the name the Phantom. [00:52:00] Speaker A: So they're basically put into the. The superhero version of Purgatory? [00:52:04] Speaker B: Essentially, yeah. Now they can see what's happening in the real world. They can telepathically communicate with. [00:52:12] Speaker A: They can people in the world. So they're like wraiths? [00:52:15] Speaker B: Yes. [00:52:15] Speaker A: Okay. Or phantoms? [00:52:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:18] Speaker A: Yes. [00:52:19] Speaker B: Glad you made that connection. So we go now to Superwoman in her secret identity of Carol Zor El private detective. [00:52:28] Speaker A: Now, is that made up for this yes. Comic? Yes. [00:52:31] Speaker B: Okay. And her assistant, Jimmy Olsen. Yes, reader, in this story, Jimmy is. [00:52:36] Speaker A: A private eye instead of a cover investigator. [00:52:39] Speaker B: I should mention that I have read the previous issue that was non checkered and every other panel said, yes, reader, in this story, Superwoman came to Earth before her cousin. Lots of things like that. I won't lay them all out for you right now. [00:52:59] Speaker A: And then it's almost like they have to remind you that you're reading an imaginary story, an alternative story. Yes. [00:53:04] Speaker B: Look at this. Superwoman reveals her secret identity to Jimmy Olsen. [00:53:09] Speaker A: Yes. Why? [00:53:11] Speaker B: Well, because she's about to involve him in a scheme. [00:53:13] Speaker A: I mean, so. So she's. She's going to do the one thing that they don't do. [00:53:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:18] Speaker A: And he's a private investigator. Did he not know she literally walked into the other room, closed the door and came out dressed in her Superwoman outfit. [00:53:27] Speaker B: Look, Lois Lane is an investigative reporter. [00:53:31] Speaker A: Yes. [00:53:31] Speaker B: Pulitzer Prize winning investigative reporter who has been fooled by Superman wearing a pair of glasses for how long? 85 years. [00:53:40] Speaker A: Yes. And may I say something? [00:53:45] Speaker B: Yes. [00:53:46] Speaker A: About the next panel down at the bottom. [00:53:47] Speaker B: Yes. [00:53:48] Speaker A: She apparently has some sort of visual device that allows her to look into across spans of time and space. And she shows Jimmy Olsen. [00:53:58] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, no. You're. This is in the fortress. Now. Those are her robots. Oh. [00:54:04] Speaker A: Oh, well, that's because they all look like her. [00:54:06] Speaker B: They all do. But. So, Superwoman Buck. [00:54:08] Speaker A: Some blonde lasses with the same fleet. [00:54:11] Speaker B: Of Superwoman robots as Superman did during this era. [00:54:14] Speaker A: Really? A whole fleet? Who built them? [00:54:19] Speaker B: It's so they can handle emergencies when he's not available. And also, look at that. They can handle gold kryptonite. Because they're robots, they don't have to worry about losing their powers. [00:54:28] Speaker A: Of course not. [00:54:29] Speaker B: If I was Superman, I would just let the robots do all the work. I'd just lay around, watch tv. I wouldn't do anything. [00:54:36] Speaker A: Well, it's a good thing you're not Superman. [00:54:37] Speaker B: I'll say so. Here Superboy is contacted from the Phantom Zone telepathically by Tiron and Van Daol. [00:54:46] Speaker A: Yes. [00:54:47] Speaker B: They order him to go to Riverside park outside Metropolis. He goes there, he sets up his Phantom Zone machine. [00:54:54] Speaker A: Just to prove that I'm not a complete idiot. [00:54:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:57] Speaker A: As I was reading this, I knew it was a trick. [00:54:59] Speaker B: Oh. [00:54:59] Speaker A: I mean, because she was. I knew that Superwoman needed to engage Jimmy in some sort of trick. I was just watching this unfold and thinking, okay, here we go. Here's the trick. [00:55:10] Speaker B: So he lets Tyrone Vandal out of the Phantom Zone. They start to do. I don't know what. They're just racing around the Riverside park just to prove they have superpowers. Superboy has a force. [00:55:21] Speaker A: Oh, they're measuring a tree. They're taking resin out of a tree. [00:55:24] Speaker B: And they're creating an antidote to help protect Superboy from all forms of kryptonite. So Superboy lets his guard down. All of a sudden, they reveal themselves. It's not Tyron and Vandal after all. It's Superwoman Jimmy Olsen. [00:55:41] Speaker A: Right, right. And Jimmy Olsen has an anti gravity belt, so he's able to fly. And. And now, apparently, even though Superman. Well, Superboy, in this. In this story, and Superwoman are. Have incredible vision and hearing. The masks are so good that Superboy is not able to see that they're wearing what appears to be rubber masks that they can pull off their face. [00:56:04] Speaker B: Well, he's not used to using his powers yet, is he. He probably could have just seen through that with X ray vision. [00:56:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:56:14] Speaker B: So Superboy is affected now by gold kryptonite for some reason. [00:56:18] Speaker A: Yes. [00:56:19] Speaker B: He's losing his powers. Jimmy Olsen tries to punch him out. Then it seems that Superboy's strength is returning by picking up a rock. Picking up a rock to hurl at. [00:56:30] Speaker A: And kill Jimmy Olsen. [00:56:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh yeah. Jimmy Olsen is sweating. Look at those beads of sweat. [00:56:36] Speaker A: Yeah, he's. Look at the face. They did a great job. They put a little wrinkle beside his mouth. Oh my gosh, I'm so worried. [00:56:44] Speaker B: But then Superboy suddenly gets weak again. [00:56:47] Speaker A: And drops the boulder. [00:56:48] Speaker B: So this is, this is like. Would this be an O. Henry moment? Because if when Diane threw her dolls in the river, well, the pebbles that Superboy shot at the dolls at super speed were actually lead coated gold kryptonite. [00:57:03] Speaker A: They were supposed to be marbles. But he shot, I guess unwittingly, he hurled one of the lead coated gold kryptonite capsules stolen from Superwoman's fortress. So he's an idiot. [00:57:15] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [00:57:16] Speaker A: So which embedded itself in the doll. [00:57:18] Speaker B: In the doll. And when Diane threw the doll in the river, the lead rubbed off, exposing the cold kryptonite and robbing Superboy of his powers forever. This is my favorite panel. Superwoman hypnotizes Superboy into forgetting who he is and what just happened, and she takes him to a faraway orphanage and leaves them there. [00:57:42] Speaker A: Yeah. So? [00:57:44] Speaker B: Well, byee. [00:57:45] Speaker A: So, cousin, I know that you survived in space and came to Earth and you're a dick teenager. You're, you're, you're just, you know, I can't control you. I'm a. I'm a full grown adult with a job. [00:57:58] Speaker B: Single working woman. Well, in the 60s, that's something. [00:58:01] Speaker A: But her pal is, you know, as a private investigator. I mean, she's pretty smart, she's very resourceful. And so I am going to hypnotize you with this spinning coin and make you forget everything up until that moment. And then I'm going to deposit you in yet another orphanage. [00:58:21] Speaker B: Well, yeah. I mean, what else are you going to do with him? You can't adopt him, apparently, because you took him to an orphanage when he had superpowers. [00:58:32] Speaker A: Mm. Mm. And so, in a distant orphanage, an unknown youth awaits adoption. The lad suffers from amnesia. He knows nothing of his past except that he's an orphan. But he's very bright. He'll have a great future someday. [00:58:46] Speaker B: How ironic. In real life, Superboy did have a great future as Superman. Yeah. [00:58:53] Speaker A: Why do they have to put that in there? Isn't it enough just to have the story? [00:58:56] Speaker B: They have to remind us that it's imaginary, else someone might. [00:58:58] Speaker A: Why do you forget, as you're reading the book, do you forget it's already the comic? [00:59:02] Speaker B: You. [00:59:03] Speaker A: You literally just have it. You're chewing gum and you're. And you're reading it in your hand. [00:59:08] Speaker B: What if you got hypnotized too? By the spinning coin of Superwoman? You don't know? [00:59:12] Speaker A: Tell me about this little cap's hobby center in the back. This? [00:59:14] Speaker B: Oh, I'm gonna read the letters page first. [00:59:16] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, I read one of them. [00:59:19] Speaker B: Something of interest to our careers, isn't it? [00:59:21] Speaker A: Yes. [00:59:22] Speaker B: Dear editor, I recently read that Superman will be the basis of a Broadway musical comedy. When will it open? Who plays Superman? Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, Perry White. Give us all the info, huh? Signed Sammy Fales of Houston, Texas. [00:59:37] Speaker A: The forthcoming musical based on our man of Steel is the talk of show business. The songs which were written by the team that turned out Bye Bye Birdie and Golden Boy. Golden Boy? I don't know. Golden Boy are bound to be hits. The show's tentative title is It's Superman and it will be produced by David Merrick, Broadway's top impresario. While the cast hasn't been announced, rumor has it that Steve Allen may play Clark Kent. More details as soon as we get them, Ed. [01:00:06] Speaker B: Steve Allen? Really? [01:00:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:08] Speaker B: Well, this was a musical called It's a bird, It's a Plane, it's Superman. I haven't checked my sources very carefully. I know that Linda Lavin was involved somehow. I think she either played Lois Lane or some other secondary character. Linda Lavin of TV's Alice. [01:00:28] Speaker A: Dear Editor, I enjoy reading Superman comics. The plots are always good, if not excellent. However, it seems almost ridiculous that Superman has never become conceited or self centered. He is praised the world over for his heroism and mighty deeds. Any normal person would eventually succumb to become at least a little swell headed. VIP Short Glendora, California. [01:00:53] Speaker B: Superman was swell headed on one occasion when he became a future Superman with a gigantic brain that made his head about three times normal size. But of course, that turned out to be a hoax. In reality, Superman is super modest. [01:01:06] Speaker A: Mm. All right, I. Is there. You know, there's just one thing that's bothering me from this story? [01:01:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:01:13] Speaker A: So, I mean, I can deal with a lot of things. I can deal with the fact that Lex Luthor has suddenly. Has somehow invented a device that Allows him to see across the galaxy and see, you know, into your bedroom. And I'm okay with that. Like, I mean, I'm not okay with it, but I can. I can sort of suspend my disbelief and let that happen. I'm not okay with the. With the thousand cops that were taken to Venus and walked around and then, of course, he flew back to Venus. Gathered them back up inside the train, I'm assuming. And. [01:01:40] Speaker B: And I hope they showed that. Who knows? They might still be there. [01:01:43] Speaker A: Well, it didn't say that. 1000 cops die crushed by Venus gravity. [01:01:49] Speaker B: Well, I. Yes, go on. [01:01:54] Speaker A: Well, I just. I can't seem to let that one go. [01:01:57] Speaker B: It is a tricky one, isn't it? [01:01:59] Speaker A: It is. Did they not know anything about Venus in 1966? No. [01:02:03] Speaker B: Certainly they hadn't even gone to the moon yet. And Venus is covered with clouds as you. [01:02:08] Speaker A: Are you sure they hadn't gone to the moon yet? [01:02:10] Speaker B: Yeah. 69. [01:02:11] Speaker A: Rob, I'm getting my time. [01:02:14] Speaker B: I said 69. [01:02:15] Speaker A: No, no, I'm getting my time. My sister. My sister took her very first steps when man walked on the moon. [01:02:23] Speaker B: Well, you weren't even born yet. [01:02:24] Speaker A: No, no. [01:02:27] Speaker B: Well, that's all. [01:02:28] Speaker A: 68. 68. [01:02:31] Speaker B: It's. [01:02:32] Speaker A: It's. Well, I guess I'll be learning a lot more about the. The few years before I was born. [01:02:36] Speaker B: I should hope so. [01:02:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:39] Speaker B: Well, that's all we have for this week. [01:02:41] Speaker A: Well, this was exciting. [01:02:42] Speaker B: I hope you all come back. We won't always have issues with two stories. [01:02:47] Speaker A: We won't. [01:02:48] Speaker B: We might do two issues per episode or we might focus on one issue. [01:02:53] Speaker A: Well, I'm sure I'll always have something. Something to say about everything that we read. [01:02:56] Speaker B: I'm sure you always have something to say about everything. Just wait till we get to the 80 page giants. [01:03:05] Speaker A: Oh, dear. [01:03:07] Speaker B: All right. You can find us on Instagram @GogoCheckPod, on Twitter @GogoCheckPod. On Facebook @GogoChekPod. You can find us on itunes. Every new episode comes out every week, hopefully. Or you can find us on. At our website, checkeredpast. Potient Co. That's potient. P O D I A N T. That's all from me. I'm Dr. Bob. [01:03:35] Speaker A: And I'm Dr. Rob. [01:03:36] Speaker B: Bye. [01:03:37] Speaker A: Bye.