Royal Pedigree (World's Finest 165/Strange Adventures 198)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? [00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, let's go. [00:00:04] Speaker B: You know what to do. [00:00:05] Speaker A: The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past. A loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, world's finest comics165. Cover date March 1967 cover price, $0.12. Cover artists Kurt Swan and George Klein. Edited by Mort Wisinger. Featuring the Crown of Crime Written by Bill Finger. Art by Al Plastino and Strange Adventures 198. Cover date March 1967 cover price, $0.12. Cover artist, Jack Sparling. Edited by Jack Schiff. Featuring the apes with bizarre powers. Writer unknown. Art by Jack Sparling. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. [00:01:17] Speaker C: If you walk in the shadows and then it's time that you get wild. I just forget about your troubles and open up your eyes. [00:01:31] Speaker C: When you wear a smile the world will shout Hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You're gonna flush the blues away. [00:01:44] Speaker A: Crime boss King Wolf escapes from prison just as he is scheduled to be executed in the electric chair. Batman follows Wolf to his hideout. Instead of immediately attempting to apprehend Wolf, Batman disguises himself as one of Wolf's lieutenants in order to learn his plans. Meanwhile, in his new life as Anton Carver, the Immortal man becomes a paleontologist for Pembroke College. Helen Phelps tracks him down and reveals her suspicions that Carver is the Immortal Man. Carver confesses the truth and proposes to Helen. Carver also battles strange apes with superpowers that have come to Earth through an interdimensional warp. Confused? Don't worry. I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything. [00:02:36] Speaker A: He's a king. [00:02:40] Speaker A: He's a king. [00:02:45] Speaker C: He's a king. [00:02:50] Speaker A: He's a king. [00:02:54] Speaker C: He just thrills me so. He's my favorite foe. [00:02:59] Speaker A: He's a king. [00:03:03] Speaker A: Well, the best laid plans. [00:03:05] Speaker B: What's that? [00:03:06] Speaker A: Well, I had intended to. Are you sitting down, gentle listener? Pre record an episode for Thanksgiving week. [00:03:15] Speaker B: So. [00:03:15] Speaker A: So that we didn't have to worry about anything. [00:03:18] Speaker B: That's true. [00:03:18] Speaker A: What do you think happened? [00:03:20] Speaker B: What happened? [00:03:21] Speaker A: We didn't. I can't remember why, but something happened and we didn't get it done. And then we went away. And then here we are. [00:03:28] Speaker B: We had too many things on our plate. Yeah. [00:03:31] Speaker A: Well, then you got sick. [00:03:32] Speaker B: I'm still recovering. [00:03:34] Speaker A: You sound terrible. [00:03:36] Speaker B: I'll be okay. I don't sound as bad as I did yesterday, do I? [00:03:39] Speaker A: No. And you look great. [00:03:42] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:03:42] Speaker A: You're welcome. [00:03:43] Speaker B: And so do you. [00:03:44] Speaker A: Thanks. This old thing. [00:03:47] Speaker B: You look radiant. [00:03:49] Speaker A: Oh, that's. I have a cocktail. That's what that is. [00:03:54] Speaker A: How's your day been going? [00:03:56] Speaker B: Pretty good, Pretty good. I've got all my medicines now and I think I'm gonna be okay. [00:04:03] Speaker A: Good. Yeah, I hope so, because we've got a hundred episodes left of this podcast to do. [00:04:09] Speaker B: Oh, good. [00:04:10] Speaker A: Not tonight. [00:04:11] Speaker B: No, of course not. No, no. [00:04:14] Speaker A: But yeah. [00:04:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I was. I was. What? I don't know. I just got. I got a cold or something and a sinus infection and it was just. I'm mending from it. [00:04:25] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:26] Speaker B: I really should have spent a couple days in bed. I tried to go to work. I had to come home and yesterday I just rested. [00:04:33] Speaker A: Yeah, that's going to the doctor. Love you. Well, apparently there's a new thing going around. I saw Winter vomiting disease. [00:04:42] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I hope I don't ever get that. [00:04:43] Speaker A: Me too. Because I'm afraid of vomiting. [00:04:45] Speaker B: Yes, you are. [00:04:47] Speaker A: Right. Right. [00:04:48] Speaker B: Right. What volume levels are. [00:04:51] Speaker A: I am. Something doesn't seem right, but somebody will let us know. Shout out to Cinema Chop Shop podcast, who sent us a lovely gift of any A Six Million Dollar Man Story record album. [00:05:08] Speaker B: I didn't even know they existed. [00:05:10] Speaker A: You didn't? [00:05:11] Speaker B: But it makes sense considering that, you know, you and I both had the Justice League records and such. [00:05:16] Speaker A: Sure, yeah. [00:05:17] Speaker B: And I had Benji the record growing up. [00:05:21] Speaker A: Yes, Benji. Benji was an answer in the New York Times crossword today. [00:05:26] Speaker B: Was it? [00:05:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:29] Speaker A: Also, he, the host of CinemaShop Shop, included a letter from Irene Vardenoff's grandson. I didn't even know she had one. He didn't have very complimentary things to say about this. [00:05:41] Speaker B: I'm surprised it's not sitting here on the table for us to read. [00:05:44] Speaker A: Well, we've got so many things to read. We'll read it next week. [00:05:49] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't really have any news. It's the last week of school, thank Jesus. Yeah, we're pretty busy and. Yes. And then Christmas. [00:06:01] Speaker B: Ah, Christmas. [00:06:06] Speaker A: What about it? [00:06:07] Speaker B: Well, no, it's just. Actually, it should be fine. I mean, as far as, like, the busyness goes, we're staying home. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Except for our exciting trip to New York City to see a couple of big city shows on the stage excited about that same. [00:06:24] Speaker A: And that's my life up until now. Yeah. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Yeah, me too. [00:06:32] Speaker B: I don't have. I'm sorry, listener. I don't have any tangents planned. The sun has gone down, it's dark outside. I have nothing to see outside the window. And I am recovering from a really, really bad upper respiratory infection. [00:06:45] Speaker A: Do you ever plan your tangents? Of course not. Something will come up, I'm sure, but. Well, today we're looking at world's. Sorry, World's finest comics. Number 165, starring Batman with Robin, the Boy Wonder and Superman. I can't remember, has Batman's name always appeared above Superman's on the COVID I don't know. [00:07:09] Speaker B: I've never paid attention to that. [00:07:11] Speaker A: I haven't either. But probably since he has his television show and whatnot. And he is placed on a pedestal above Superman on the COVID They're both wearing crowns. [00:07:23] Speaker A: And have scabbards and they are slicing a globe. [00:07:29] Speaker A: In half because they're dividing the world up. Batman's not too smart because he didn't take half. [00:07:35] Speaker B: Well, he gave the smaller half to Superman, didn't he? [00:07:38] Speaker A: Oh, maybe right. [00:07:41] Speaker B: Oh, that's why Superman says, is this how you divide the world between us, Batman? You are taking the lion's share. [00:07:48] Speaker A: See, I thought he was just slicing off a piece for himself. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Oh, here's a tangent. Do you ever watch that dinosaur theater on those little clips? [00:07:56] Speaker A: No, Instagram. [00:07:58] Speaker B: I send you them all the time. It's that old timey footage where someone's talking like. Someone's talking like this. And they're showing footage from the 1950s and 1960s films. And the guy, he always adds H's into his W's. [00:08:11] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:08:12] Speaker B: So funny. I don't know who the person is, but if you ever get a chance, look up dinosaur theater. [00:08:18] Speaker A: See, I was thinking that I would be expected to recall seeing actual dinosaurs. [00:08:24] Speaker B: It's very clever. [00:08:26] Speaker A: So Batman and Superman are wearing crowns and swords and they're slicing up the globe. Batman's keeping North America, of course. Presumably South America also, but we don't see that. [00:08:37] Speaker B: I guess Superman's getting Europe, Superman's getting. [00:08:39] Speaker A: Japan and the Philippines, Australia, New Zealand. [00:08:43] Speaker B: Okay, there we go. I see. Yes. [00:08:45] Speaker A: Hawaii. Maybe. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Part of East Asia, although that really should. [00:08:52] Speaker B: That's not accurately represented on the globe like that. It's not that close to North America. No, that scale. [00:08:58] Speaker A: No. Yeah. [00:09:01] Speaker A: Also, North America is not that big in the real world. Who Dr. Husband will sit on the throne of the underworld? Superman or Batman? See the heroes become hoods in a contest for. [00:09:18] Speaker B: Where are you? [00:09:18] Speaker A: The COVID Reading the COVID Yes. Oh. [00:09:22] Speaker B: Oh. I had it zoomed in. I'm so sorry. See the heroes become hoods in a contest for the crown of crime. [00:09:32] Speaker A: Your two favorite heroes, Superman and Batman, in one adventure together. [00:09:37] Speaker A: They'Re dressed up as kings. And they've got Robin dressed up like a Jesuit. He's doing a little tightrope walk. [00:09:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:45] Speaker A: Do you know he was a circus acrobat as a child? [00:09:49] Speaker A: Holy buffoon. That's Robin making a fool of himself. Not the first time as court jester for a couple of kings. Batman and Superman. [00:09:58] Speaker B: What's behind it? And which domain do the two monarchs rule? That's the biggest surprise of all. The outcome of a colossal contest for. [00:10:06] Speaker A: The crown of prime. Ha, ha, ha. Robin sure is making himself look ridiculous with his tightrope bag, Eh, King Superman. [00:10:16] Speaker B: You said it, King Batman, Keep up. [00:10:19] Speaker A: Ha, ha, ha. [00:10:20] Speaker B: You said it, King Batman. Keep up the silly antics, kid. Make us laugh if you know what's good for you. [00:10:29] Speaker A: In stately Wayne Manor, Bruce Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson get set for action as Batman and Robin. It's time to go because King Wolf, that's wolf with two Fs, is walking the last mile at the pen. He's being put to death. [00:10:44] Speaker B: Well, I'm not going into mourning for that cunning crook. [00:10:47] Speaker A: Are they British now? [00:10:49] Speaker B: That's the voice I'm doing tonight. [00:10:51] Speaker A: The secret elevator carries the Dynamic Duo down to the Batcave. And they need to be around in case Wolf tries a last minute escape. You know, they didn't always have an elevator. [00:11:04] Speaker B: They didn't? [00:11:05] Speaker A: No. Oh, they had a grand. No, a grandfather clock in Bruce Wayne's study which opened a secret panel. And they had a long, long, long, Tim Burton esque stairway that went down to the Batcave. [00:11:19] Speaker B: Oh, you're kidding. [00:11:20] Speaker A: No. [00:11:20] Speaker B: What a damned inconvenience. [00:11:22] Speaker A: It's a stupid TV show. Put an elevator or poles in flowers pole. Yeah. [00:11:28] Speaker B: Meanwhile, at the Gotham prison remains reporter Clark Superman. Kent is among the newsmen covering the execution. [00:11:36] Speaker A: Apparently, the Court set a record by trying and convicting King Wolf in just two months. And the warden says that was necessary because Wolf is the most dangerous criminal alive. Yes. More dangerous than Lex Luthor? More dangerous than the Joker? [00:11:52] Speaker B: The Joker? [00:11:53] Speaker A: More dangerous than, say, Gorilla Grodd or Sinestro. He is much more dangerous than any of those people. Paper man that fought Wonder Woman. [00:12:05] Speaker B: I doubt it. [00:12:07] Speaker A: Now, as everyone knows, condemned prisoners get a last meal, right? And King Wolf has always Claimed to be descended from royalty. News flash. If you're of European descent, you're descended from royalty. And the last meal he ordered is fit for a king. He's got a whole roast chicken, looks like a dish of red stuff, a. [00:12:35] Speaker A: Chafing dish full of brown stuff, some whipped white stuff, a glass of milk. He is eating like a king. [00:12:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:46] Speaker A: The prison chaplain enters to take his last confession. [00:12:50] Speaker B: Son, I have come to help you. Confession will say. [00:12:53] Speaker A: How dare you interrupt a king while he's dining. Remove yourself from my presence. Get out. [00:13:00] Speaker A: Soon. [00:13:00] Speaker B: It's time for the king of crime to take that last long walk to the execution room. [00:13:05] Speaker A: This gentleman looks pretty smug. Looks like he's going to sit on a throne instead of the electric chair. [00:13:12] Speaker B: Tensely, the reporters wait. Then a switch is thrown, the lights dim, Electrical powers hum through the room. [00:13:20] Speaker A: And we see it visually hum. [00:13:23] Speaker B: Suddenly, the electrical drone grows louder. Louder. [00:13:26] Speaker A: And then, great Scott, the electric chair is flying away into the sky. [00:13:31] Speaker B: Oh my God. He's flying into the sky. [00:13:33] Speaker A: He crashes through the ceiling. [00:13:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Out into the night streaks the chair with its evil occupant. A flight clock follows with his telescopic vision. [00:13:42] Speaker A: Yes, it's flying toward a skyscraper. And apparently Wolf's gang has converted the spire of the skyscraper into a super powered electromagnet that's tuned in on the same wavelength as the chair's electric current. [00:13:58] Speaker B: The chairs no longer has an electric current. [00:14:00] Speaker A: Also, that's not how magnets work. [00:14:02] Speaker B: No. [00:14:03] Speaker A: No. [00:14:03] Speaker B: During the confusion, Clark Kent slips into a supply closet to assume the herculean identity of Superman. [00:14:09] Speaker A: But too bad. The electric current is running wild. The warden threw the switch, but nothing's happening. Well, Superman's got to deal with this immediate emergency. [00:14:18] Speaker B: This crazy emergency that's gone crazy. [00:14:20] Speaker A: Yes. [00:14:21] Speaker B: Meanwhile, the crime king's meteor like flight. [00:14:24] Speaker A: Is observed from the approaching Batmobile, just as Batman feared. Sorry, Batman. Wolf made his breakout. So they are going to trail the flying chair. And. [00:14:38] Speaker A: The chair eventually does make contact with the skyscraper, where a hovering helicopter descends and picks him up on a ladder. [00:14:47] Speaker A: Now, Robin bemoans the fact that they're not in the Batcopter, but Batman reminds him that they have bat radar in the car, which will give us the helicopter's directional flight. [00:15:00] Speaker B: Meanwhile, what of Superman's high powered problem? [00:15:04] Speaker A: Well, he got everyone out of the room. He's going to let the bolts strike him until his costume absorbs the energy and he builds up a powerful charge. And then he somehow uses that to short circuit the generator. I don't know. That's probably not how his costume works either. It's a very famous cover from the 40s where Superman is getting struck by lightning. And. And he says, tee hee. It tickles. [00:15:35] Speaker B: Tee hee. [00:15:36] Speaker A: I don't know that. He says, I know. In Walmart parking lot, right? And lived to tell the tale. [00:15:42] Speaker B: He sure did. Blew his moccasins right off his feet. Or he used to always wear boat shoes, right? [00:15:48] Speaker A: Yeah, well, they have rubber soles. You'd think the rubber soles would protect him. [00:15:52] Speaker B: Maybe his feet were wet. It was ringing. [00:15:56] Speaker B: And they're leather. So even with rubber soles, if the leather's wet, not very far for the electricity to jump. [00:16:03] Speaker A: That's that famous rhyme. If the leather's wet, you're gonna get struck by lightning. [00:16:10] Speaker B: At that moment, near an isolated site. [00:16:12] Speaker A: Overlooking the river, it seems that King Wolf has hidden out in the closed castlebread factory. [00:16:20] Speaker B: Castle bread is fit for a king. [00:16:23] Speaker A: Which reminds me of when I was growing up. On the highway or off the highway when you're driving. From my neighborhood into downtown was the Wonder Bread factory. [00:16:36] Speaker B: Wonder Bread. [00:16:37] Speaker A: And they would bake at night. And it smelled so good. [00:16:41] Speaker B: I bet it did. [00:16:42] Speaker A: And we didn't even eat Wonder Bread in my home. Except for a brief period when I was 8 years old and they had Hanna Barbera trading cards. And I made my mother buy the Wonder Bread so I can get the trip trading cards out of the package. Oh, goodness. [00:16:57] Speaker A: Of course we had better finer bread than Wonder Bread. [00:16:59] Speaker B: I bet you did. [00:17:00] Speaker A: When my grandmother visited, she'd bake her own bread every day. [00:17:04] Speaker B: Yes. [00:17:06] Speaker A: All right. There's footsteps coming. So Batman and Robin hide in the bushes. It's. These are King Wolf's henchmen now. [00:17:13] Speaker B: Maybe the boss will finally tell us about the job he's been planning. [00:17:17] Speaker A: He sure has been tight lipped about it. Even with us, it's bound to be the biggest caper of his career. And apparently there's a wild dog in the bushes. I could hear it barking in the background. [00:17:29] Speaker A: Now Robin knows all these hoods at sight. Stoney Snyder, Mitch Grinnell and Crusher Kopeck. Wolf's lieutenants, the ones he calls his robber barons. [00:17:39] Speaker B: Wait here, Robin. I'm going to sneak into the castle and try to find out about that big job. The throne room of King Wolf, self styled potentate of plunder. [00:17:49] Speaker A: Potentate of plunder. [00:17:50] Speaker B: I love the alliteration, don't you? [00:17:53] Speaker A: He thanks his subjects for their loyalty to the noble name of Wolf. For even though the peasants of my ancestral country forced my Royal forefathers to abdicate. I wear the crown again as king of the underworld. Behold. The electronic eyes of my coat of arms flashing the alarm signal. There is a stranger here. One who has not known how to avoid the wires secreted in the corridor floor. [00:18:21] Speaker B: It's Batman. [00:18:22] Speaker A: Jump em. [00:18:23] Speaker B: Jump em. My scepter's really an air gun. It fell that mantled meddler Baron Kopeck. Bind Batman and dispose of him in the river below. [00:18:34] Speaker A: Boy, they are bringing it in with the alliteration, aren't they? [00:18:36] Speaker B: They really are. [00:18:37] Speaker A: It's written by Bill Finger. [00:18:39] Speaker A: Moments later, the robber baron prepares to obey the royal command by dumping Batman in the river. But here comes Robin, and he punches this hood out. Shortly after, Robin frees Batman. I get it. You're gonna disguise yourself as Crusher and go back into the castle. Everyone knows Batman has a fully stocked makeup kit in his. Batman. [00:19:02] Speaker B: Right. Meanwhile, you contact Superman. Then have Commissioner Gordon keep our sleeping chum here under wraps. [00:19:09] Speaker A: Good thing they were the same size, eh? So Batman can wear his clothes. [00:19:12] Speaker B: Minutes later, the disguised weapon re enters. [00:19:15] Speaker A: The throne room and as takes an assumed voice. That man's fish food. Now, your majesty. [00:19:22] Speaker B: Excellent. Now I can continue. Before my arrest, I was experimenting with a new form of atomic power and was accidentally exposed to fatal radiation. Soon I shall die. One of you, my three barons, will inherit my kingdom. The most cunning, rootless and resourceful of you to choose my. What? Oh, I see. Resourceful of you to choose my successor, I have decided upon a contest. A tournament. I will give each of you a specific mission. A robbery. The one who completes his assignment best will be declared winner and winner of my crown. [00:19:57] Speaker A: Excuse me. Did you say a corn test? [00:19:59] Speaker B: A corn test. [00:20:05] Speaker A: Later, as a result of what Batman has heard, an emergency meeting of the world's finest heroes takes place. Just if there's any doubt, the world's finest heroes are Batman, Superman and Robin. [00:20:17] Speaker A: Now, Batman does not believe that he's really dying. He thinks it's an act. [00:20:21] Speaker B: Yeah, Superman thinks he's gonna double cross his henchmen. [00:20:24] Speaker A: And honestly, I think that too. [00:20:25] Speaker B: Me too. [00:20:26] Speaker A: Or at least I did when I was first reading this. [00:20:30] Speaker A: Superman says yes, you're right. He's probably planning to double cross his men. But why? [00:20:36] Speaker B: Well, I guess Robinson we'll find out. We can can barge in and crown the king. Come on. No. Robin says Superman. Let Batman play along as Crusher until we learn the truth. Wolf never does anything small. He must be setting up something really colossal. [00:20:50] Speaker A: I want to point out some artistic details. Yes, the art is credited to Alplastino and King Wolf. And all the henchmen, in fact, look completely drawn by Al Plastino. But I think that the faces of Batman, Superman, and Robin look awfully like Kurt Swan to me. [00:21:14] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:21:14] Speaker A: I think. And that was done, you know, back in the day, they would have a quote unquote, better artist drop in and redraw the faces. Oh, I know, right? [00:21:26] Speaker A: It's just my theory. I have no proof of it. [00:21:29] Speaker B: Meanwhile, in his throne room, King Wolf is alone with his evil thoughts. [00:21:34] Speaker A: Ah, ha ha. Not even my own men know the real. [00:21:39] Speaker A: Not even my own men know the real reason for the corn test. When it's completed, I shall truly become a king. A king that will go down in history. [00:21:49] Speaker B: Will Wolf go down in history? Or will he go down in defeat? Only part two will tell. [00:21:55] Speaker A: The next morning, three caped crime busters secretly keep watch from a hilltop. Oh, that reminds me. Hilltop reminds me of the fantastic American Revolution series. Ken Burns, American Revolution. [00:22:08] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I'm loving it. [00:22:11] Speaker A: We can only watch about 40 minutes at a time because we fall asleep. But there's all kinds of spying from hilltops and barrages. The only thing we're on, only episode four, they haven't mentioned Tomahawk yet. Or River Monsters or Miss Liberty or the Frontier Frankenstein, so I guess they're. Well, that probably happened late in the war, so. [00:22:33] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:22:34] Speaker A: But I'm anxious to hear about Tomahawks. [00:22:37] Speaker B: And to be fair, we don't fall asleep when we watch. [00:22:41] Speaker A: Listen, I was trying to be generous and not throw you under the bus, okay? [00:22:44] Speaker B: Cause it's me. I fall asleep. [00:22:46] Speaker A: Yes. [00:22:46] Speaker B: And not because I'm bored, because I can't stay awake. Because I haven't been feeling well since we got back from Thanksgiving. [00:22:54] Speaker A: Well, it was happening before Thanksgiving. [00:22:56] Speaker B: Oh. [00:22:58] Speaker B: Okay. I do wake up much earlier than. [00:23:00] Speaker A: Yes, you do. And you take care of the pets in the morning and make the coffee, and I opreciate it. [00:23:05] Speaker B: I know, I know, but that's why I end up usually falling asleep before you do. Because I get up earlier than you do. [00:23:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:12] Speaker B: The next morning, the three clapped crime busters secretly caped. Taped Caped. [00:23:17] Speaker A: Clapped. [00:23:17] Speaker B: I don't have I thinking I should get my other glasses. The next morning, the three caped crimebusters secretly keep watch from a hilltop. [00:23:26] Speaker A: Now, Grinnell's mission is to steal a tank truck of newly developed liquid fuel from a heavily guarded government project. And Superman is going to secretly help him with the robbery and, of course, recover the fuel Later. Because only if the crooks succeed will they find out what Wolf's scheme is. Yes. So Grinnell and two henchmen approach the government plant, present some false IDs. He presents himself as Malcolm Malcolm of the London News. Malcolm Malcolm, I've got an appointment to interview General Calhoun. [00:24:05] Speaker A: Now, when they're looking at the credentials, the guards don't notice Grinnell spraying the light bulb with his trick flow flower on his lapel. Heat and spray combine chemically with fantastic results. It's illusion. Gas from the light bulb is making them see things, but not us, because of the contact lenses we're wearing. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Swiftly, the helpless guards are overcome and the bandits break into the yard where they get the fuel tank. Yes, perfect job. A cinch to cop King Wolf's crown. [00:24:38] Speaker A: I like that. The truck full of fuel has government property written in large letters across it. Nobody will be able to track that truck down. All right, they've been spotted. An army tank car is trying to cut them off. But Grinnell's got a gizmo that he grabbed from the king's weapons room. It's a bazooka rocket, and he's shooting it right at the army tank truck. And now Superman's got his work cut out for him because he's got to stop this bazooka fire, remain invisible, which he could do at super speed. [00:25:14] Speaker B: Right. [00:25:14] Speaker A: And allow the crooks to escape. Right. So he's got to stop the army tank truck and make it look like an accident. [00:25:25] Speaker B: What does he do? [00:25:26] Speaker A: Luckily, there's a junkyard full of junked cars nearby. Superman summons his titanic strength, jumps on the pile of cars to compress them into one colossal mass, then flies high into the air, sets the metal mass aflame with his heat vision and hurls it toward the earth. [00:25:52] Speaker A: Of course, as anyone would do, the army men assume it's a meteor that just missed them. [00:26:00] Speaker A: But it does destroy the road, cutting them off from pursuing the crooks. [00:26:06] Speaker B: So when Grinnell returns, he says, mission accompleted. I'm sorry. Mission completed, your majesty. This fool doesn't suspect how he's helped my scheme along. Now, let's hope Stoney can steal the new fiberglass just developed by the IC Glass Company. Icy glass. Get it? [00:26:25] Speaker A: Yes, I listen to the Washington, D.C. news talk radio when I'm in my car. And they always run commercials for Dulles Glass, whose motto that the anchors are forced to repeat ad nauseam, is Dulles Glass. Love your glass. [00:26:47] Speaker B: No, said no one ever. [00:26:49] Speaker A: Except people that work at Dolos Glass, apparently. Now Stoney's men are already on the job. They. [00:26:58] Speaker A: Want the role of new fiberglass that the research guys have made. And suddenly, though, a familiar figure makes a startling entrance. It's Superman. What's this? Superman was supposed to help the crook secretly has the Metropolis Marvel goofed. And where is Stoney Snyder? [00:27:20] Speaker B: Let's find out. Well, Superman smacks the two guys in the face. He says a little super slap will quiet these babies. [00:27:29] Speaker B: Wow. A super slap from Superman should make them sleep for a week. [00:27:33] Speaker A: Ha. [00:27:34] Speaker B: Just to make sure, these are these. These rats are convicted of attempted robbery. I better take along that roll of fiberglass as evidence. [00:27:41] Speaker A: Anything you say, Superman. I'll get it for you. [00:27:44] Speaker B: But as the fiberglass is held out and the caped figure steps forward, forward. [00:27:48] Speaker A: To receive it, he steps on the hand of one of these supposedly unconscious crooks. And the crook says, ouch. Snyder, you clumsy dope, watch where you're putting your big feet. [00:28:00] Speaker B: The guard says, he wasn't unconscious. And he called you Snyder. Oh, my gosh. He must be a crook disguised as Superman. It was all a trick to get the highly top secret experimental fiberglass. [00:28:12] Speaker A: Neo fiber, spelled F, I, B R E fibre, hyphen glass. [00:28:19] Speaker A: Momentarily distracted, the bandits don't notice the guard pressing an alarm button. And here come more cops. Now, they're outnumbered. They can't shoot their way. Which is quite a problem for the crooks, but even more of a problem for Superman, who is secretly observing the proceedings from up above. [00:28:37] Speaker A: So he's. This is no good. The guards are going to stop Stoney's robbery unless Superman can help him out. If he fails, we may never learn Wolf's master plan. [00:28:47] Speaker B: Never. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Now, Superman immediately concocts a scheme. He rushes at super speed by moving too fast to be seen. He tugs one of the crooks trigger fingers. [00:29:02] Speaker A: Which knocks the lens off of a microscope. A telescope. [00:29:11] Speaker A: At super speed. Superman rolls the lens like a hoop across the floor, calculating the trajectory perfectly. The lens stops in the shaft of sunlight coming through the window where it sends a concentrated beam at the faces of the guards and sets them on fire. No, that doesn't really happen. But they do. They are blinded by the glare. The crooks make their escape with the fiberglass. [00:29:37] Speaker A: And Superman says, this is going to put Stoney ahead of Grinnell. And since Wolf will probably reveal his big scheme to the winner, you, Batman, must stop Stoney disguised as Crusher. So, shortly, the despised Batman meets two thugs who are to aid him in the robbery. His task is to hijack a compact computer devised to Guide a robot controlled Submari. [00:30:07] Speaker A: He then takes his clothes off, revealing that he, who they think is Crusher is wearing a Batman uniform underneath his clothes. Why is Batman going to expose his masquerade? Because he's going to continue pretending to be Crusher disguised as Batman. [00:30:26] Speaker B: He's Batman pretending to be Crusher disguised as Batman. [00:30:30] Speaker A: He says, I did drown Batman in the river and I took his costume and hid it in case I ever needed it for a job. And this is the job. [00:30:41] Speaker B: Later, at the submarine base, a swift launch appears with a surprising cargo. [00:30:46] Speaker A: It's Batman disguised as Crusher disguised as Batman, tied up to the anchor of this little ship. Now hear this. You're gonna hand over that computer. If you don't, we'll lower the anchor and Batman into the drink. [00:31:06] Speaker A: So the sailors on the dock are gonna open fire. Well, they're not on dock. They're a submarine. They're gonna open fire. And their commander says, no, don't shoot. The computer can be replaced, but there's only one Batman. There'll always be a Batman, no matter where you are. There'll always be a Batman, no matter near or far. [00:31:33] Speaker A: I'll come up with something else. No, it's a. When I was a young 20 something. It was during the first Gulf War and I was living in Columbus, Ohio. And some local chorus made a. Wrote a song and wrote There'll always be a Christmas no matter where you are. [00:31:57] Speaker A: Let faith and hope conquer fear and hate it's love alone that we celebrate. Let a tiny child in a manger be your light. [00:32:11] Speaker A: I was so jealous because a girl. They just hired a girl off the street to sing the solo for it. [00:32:15] Speaker B: Oh my goodness. [00:32:16] Speaker A: Of course. That was why I was an aspiring pop singer. [00:32:19] Speaker B: You were? [00:32:20] Speaker A: I never made it yet, but I'm still alive. [00:32:25] Speaker B: Phyllis Diller can do it. Her age. [00:32:27] Speaker A: Yeah, no kidding. [00:32:29] Speaker B: There's hope for you yet. [00:32:30] Speaker A: Thank you, Grandma Moses. [00:32:34] Speaker A: The lady in the Wendy's commercials, Clara Peller. She was like 85 when she did her first commercial and 86 when she did her last and died. [00:32:47] Speaker A: All right. As the computer is swung over to the deck of the launch, another boat appears. The Bat boat. With Robin at the wheel who shouts Batman. So that's why you didn't come here last night. Those crooks were holding you prisoner. [00:33:00] Speaker B: He says, no, kid, stay put. These guns will drown me before you kill Kiddin. [00:33:05] Speaker A: Stop him. Yeah, cause he's doing the voice of pressure, right? [00:33:09] Speaker A: Robin says your grammar gives you away. You crook. You're a fake. [00:33:15] Speaker B: What happens Next. Oh. [00:33:16] Speaker A: Oh, I have to tell a cute story. I have a student who's singing a song for his end of term exam. [00:33:27] Speaker A: It's the song Rio Grande, which starts out, oh, say, was you ever in Rio Grande? This little child corrected the grammar. Oh, say, were you ever in Rio Grande? [00:33:45] Speaker A: God love him. [00:33:48] Speaker A: I said, that's wrong. You're gonna get an F. Put it back the way it was. [00:33:54] Speaker A: All right. Too bad Robin didn't know that Crusher Batman's hands weren't tied to the anchor. So Crusher Batman punches Robin out. [00:34:05] Speaker A: Of course, he pulled his punch and Robin rolled with it and is pretending to be unconscious. So they put Robin in a net and hang him over the sea. And warn the Navy not to try anything or we'll drop Robin into the water. [00:34:21] Speaker A: Now, this is all part of Batman's. [00:34:23] Speaker B: Plan, his very finely acted routine. [00:34:25] Speaker A: Yes, well, he was in the circus. That involves a little bit of theatrics. Robin was, but Batman never trod the boards. Oh, you don't know that. [00:34:36] Speaker B: Do you think he was a thespian? [00:34:37] Speaker A: He keeps a makeup kit in his car. [00:34:40] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Maybe he did draw the boards. [00:34:42] Speaker A: And, of course, Alfred could give him some tips. Alfred was a Shakespearean actor during the war. Thus, the final mission is completed. And later, still attired in their robbery garb, the contestants await King Wolf's decision. So we've got Sloppy Snyder, whatever his name was. We've got Superman, whatever crook is dressed as Superman and Batman dressed as Crusher dressed as Batman and Robin tied up. [00:35:10] Speaker A: All right, we're getting to the crux of the story. Barons, I am. Oh, no. Barons, I am most pleased. While depositing your loot elsewhere in my castle, I pondered and have finally picked the victor. You, Grinnell, did well enough, but were outclassed by Stoney. He ingeniously impersonated Superman. You, Crusher, also were clever in your Batman masquerade. And you showed great foresight by taking his costume before you drowned him. But when you stripped off his cowl, you must have seen his face. Why then, haven't you revealed Batman's secret identity to me? Gulp. [00:35:51] Speaker B: Uh. Oh. [00:35:51] Speaker A: How do I answer that one? He mustn't catch on that I'm the real Batman. [00:35:56] Speaker B: Sure, I saw his puss, but how can I tell who he was? I never saw that. [00:36:01] Speaker B: Kisser before. [00:36:04] Speaker A: Of course, why should his other self be well known? Then you and Stoney are both winners. [00:36:11] Speaker B: So another crown and throne are brought forward. And two sovereigns share the kingdom of crime. [00:36:16] Speaker A: Your Majesties. What Is your first royal command. [00:36:20] Speaker B: I would as see Robin killed. Says the Superman. [00:36:24] Speaker A: No, says Crusher Batman. Since I captured the punk, he's my property. He'll be our court jester. And now we come to the splash page scene. [00:36:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:36] Speaker A: Thus, in proper costume, the boy wonder plays the royal fool. Ha, ha. [00:36:41] Speaker B: What a riot. That's a show every crook would buy tickets to see. [00:36:44] Speaker A: Yeah, especially the Joker. Next. Give us a tightrope axe, kid. [00:36:49] Speaker B: Wait a second. This is both the real Batman and Robin? [00:36:53] Speaker A: Yes. [00:36:53] Speaker B: Okay. I mean, I know. It's Batman dressed up as somebody else dressed up as Batman. [00:36:58] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. [00:36:59] Speaker B: Grinnell. Grinnell. [00:37:01] Speaker A: Yes. Now King Wolf brings out the globe as seen on the COVID And Crusher Batman slices it into thirds. He's entitled to a bigger share because he captured Robin. And now they want to know the scheme. But King Wolf is tired because the radioactivity is making him very weak. I'll turn off the lights and show you. And indeed, his body is glowing. [00:37:32] Speaker B: His body's glowing. He is radioactive. [00:37:35] Speaker A: But Batman says no. He could have used luminous paint to trick us, because that makes sense. The miniature Geiger amplifier from my utility belt will tell me the truth. And in the darkness, no one notices the tiny device which secretly relays a startling fact to Batman through his earphone. The counter is clattering. Wolf really is radioactive. He is dying. [00:37:57] Speaker B: Shortly, when the subjects leave the castle, the Gotham Goliath gets another surprise. [00:38:03] Speaker A: So Superman is punching out the other henchmen. Sorry he did not give you any warning, Batman. But I. After your mission, I scooted here, captured Stoney and impersonated my impersonator. It's the real Superman. [00:38:18] Speaker A: After everyone is rounded up, the crime fighters confer to try to discover why a dying man would want liquid fuel, a submarine, guidance computer and fiberglass. Have you put it together yet, listener? [00:38:35] Speaker A: Suddenly, a section of the castle roof slides back and something streaks skyward. Great Scott. It's a space rocket. Excuse me. And Superman's X ray vision reveals that Wolf is inside. What's he up to? I better trail that and missile and find out. [00:38:50] Speaker B: As the deranged criminal gloats allowed. Gloats aloud. [00:38:55] Speaker A: Yes, yes, the war balloon's coming out of Superman's head. But it's obviously meant to be King Wolf. [00:39:01] Speaker B: It is meant to be King Wolf. [00:39:02] Speaker A: These fools didn't guess I wanted the computer to guide this rocket. Nor that the fuel reacts with my unique radioactivity to become a super fuel that'll drive my rocket to the moon. It's all part of my supreme plan. [00:39:15] Speaker B: But what about the fiberglass? [00:39:17] Speaker A: Why did he need it on? Drives the rocket until its goal looms near. [00:39:21] Speaker B: But something's gone wrong. [00:39:23] Speaker A: I'm circling. Going to land on the moon's dark side. I can't alter my course. The robot controls are set. [00:39:31] Speaker B: Superman's watching from outer space. He says, why does he want to land on the side of the moon facing the Earth? I'll follow him. Well, when the rocket touches down. Oh, sorry, hold on a second. When the rocket touches down, Wolf emerges and then does something fantastic. [00:39:46] Speaker A: Well, he might as well finish what he came to do. He rolls out the fiberglass into the shape of a double hue. Double hue for Wolf, which this double hue is maybe 12ft across and about 9ft tall. Yeah. [00:40:05] Speaker B: No one's going to see that from anywhere. [00:40:07] Speaker A: No, certainly not on the dark side of the moon. He completes his task and then collapses lifeless to the surface of the moon. He wanted to be the first man to die on the moon. And now no one will know it's. [00:40:25] Speaker B: On the dark side of the moon. It never ceases. [00:40:27] Speaker A: He wanted to unroll this glowing fiberglass in a W. [00:40:34] Speaker A: So that everyone. A double hue. [00:40:36] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:40:36] Speaker A: So that everyone on Earth would see a glowing 12 foot wide W on the surface of the moon for all eternity. [00:40:50] Speaker A: That was to be his eternal monument. [00:40:53] Speaker A: And Superman never guessed just how spectacular that big scheme of his really was. Was it? No. [00:41:00] Speaker B: Was it that big of a scheme, really? [00:41:02] Speaker A: I'm going to make a 12 foot W on the surface of the moon. Take that, Earth. [00:41:09] Speaker A: Well, Wolf never knew that the electromagnet in his gimmick scepter affected the guidance controls. What irony. His scepter, symbol of his criminal kingdom, spoiled his plan. [00:41:22] Speaker B: What irony indeed. [00:41:24] Speaker A: The end. But not the end of this podcast, gentle listener, because we have another startling adventure of Immortal man, the hero who lived and died 100 times. [00:41:37] Speaker B: I like this story. [00:41:38] Speaker A: This is from Strange Adventures 198. You'll recall that Immortal man. [00:41:45] Speaker A: Is a gentleman who since ancient times has repeatedly gained superpowers, then died in the use of his superpowers, but then comes back to life as a fully grown adult with also superpowers. [00:42:00] Speaker B: That was the thing that I was confused about. [00:42:03] Speaker A: Yes. [00:42:03] Speaker B: Like, does he come back to life as a fully grown adult? [00:42:06] Speaker A: That's my understanding, yes. Because it's got some kind of magic amulet. [00:42:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:14] Speaker A: Only one person today suspects his great secret. A girl who has known him in three of his previous lives and now meets him in a fourth. [00:42:22] Speaker B: Right. [00:42:23] Speaker A: And together they face an even more incredible Phenomenon the apes with bizarre powers. [00:42:37] Speaker A: 4 weeks Helen Phelps has searched the face of every man passing by. [00:42:43] Speaker B: Is he back among the living again? What will he look like this time? I know he'll come back from death, I'm sure. I first met him as jungleman, saving my brother and myself. By riding a menacing beast into the. To the mutual doom, he guided the monster over the cliff's edge. Unable to leave free himself. He sacrificed himself for us. What a brave and wonderful man. [00:43:08] Speaker A: But he lived again, I'm sure. Twice more. And died twice more as Mark King and Kirk Jason. [00:43:15] Speaker B: He's not a very clever man, is he? He's a powerful man. He does really good things. But he's dying over and over again. You think he. You know, I mean. I mean, I know that's his shtick. You gotta die doing great things. [00:43:27] Speaker A: Mm. [00:43:28] Speaker B: But think. For a man who died a hundred times and came back to life, you learned to stay alive a little bit longer. You know, that's a central flaw in this character. [00:43:39] Speaker A: And he was a caveman, so he has lived many, many lives. Yes. Back in her room, Helen ponders the strange mystery further. [00:43:48] Speaker B: Jungleman Mark King, Kirk, Jason. I'm sure they're the same man. The man who dies then is reborn to a new life over and over again. The question is, what would be his new identity? [00:44:02] Speaker A: Ah. [00:44:03] Speaker B: My newspaper search for weeks has paid off. An expert in past age riddles. Oh, it follows the pattern of his job, says Mark King and Kirk Jason. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Extry extre Paleontology expert names new dinosaur species recently joining the staff of small Pembroke College. Anton Carver. [00:44:24] Speaker A: Look at what he's. [00:44:25] Speaker B: I saw it. What's he holding in his head? [00:44:27] Speaker A: He's holding a dinosaur bone. But it's. [00:44:29] Speaker B: It's at a peculiar angle. [00:44:31] Speaker A: Yes, it certainly is. It's very suggestive. [00:44:33] Speaker B: Very suggestive. [00:44:35] Speaker A: I think some. Was Jack Sparling, the. [00:44:39] Speaker A: Artist? What's wrong with my mouth? [00:44:41] Speaker B: It's okay. [00:44:42] Speaker A: Jack Sparling, the artist. Having some fun with the editor, I think. [00:44:48] Speaker A: Soon, in her car. [00:44:51] Speaker A: I follow up my hunch and drive to Pembroke College. Is Anton Carver, the man who has lived and died many times. The man I love, no matter what new human guise he wears. Please let it be true. [00:45:05] Speaker B: Meanwhile, at Pembroke College, a man stares moodily into a glowing gem. [00:45:11] Speaker A: The chief of the ancient wise race I was born into gave me this amulet so that I could defy death eternally, using my great powers for mankind's benefit. During my multiple lives, I have lived. [00:45:24] Speaker B: A hundred times and more. I won't do that. Sorry. I've lived a hundred times and more. Each time dying in service to humanity. After each death, I was reborn to another new life as a different man with a new name. Hotep, the Egyptian priest. Marcus Roman warrior. Ali Jabba of old Baghdad. Sir Longlance, the knight. [00:45:49] Speaker A: Sir Longlance, a writer was having some fun too. [00:45:52] Speaker B: I know, right? And others I've lost count of. Oh yeah, You've lived and died so many times you lost count of your names. [00:45:57] Speaker A: Wonder Kitty. [00:45:57] Speaker B: Kitty. [00:45:58] Speaker A: As Mark King, I was a scholar of treasure lore. Kirk Jason edited ancient history books. Reborn again, I am now Anton Carver, an expert in dinosaur species. And I've named this new dinosaur species Biceratops. [00:46:20] Speaker A: Turns out in one of his former lives, long ago as a Marco Polo quote unquote exploring the world, he stumbled on an isolated valley where in Marco Polo's days, they didn't had all these dinosaur names. Triceratops, Stegosaurus, Brontosaurus. Tyrannosaurus. And a dozen more living dinosaurs thought to be extinct for 50 million years. I don't think they'd even identified dinosaurs as. [00:46:48] Speaker A: An ancient Marco Polo. [00:46:52] Speaker B: It's what the kids call that Retcon. [00:46:54] Speaker A: But one day, an earthquake tremor broke down the ring of impassable mountains that had kept the dinosaurs confined the fierce beasts. [00:47:01] Speaker B: We're free. [00:47:02] Speaker A: We're free. [00:47:05] Speaker A: Stampeded toward the outside world. They'll trample down villages, prey on people, cause untold panic. Using his super ability to fly. And another eye power. [00:47:16] Speaker B: A blast beam of eye power and another genetic superpower. [00:47:20] Speaker A: He. [00:47:23] Speaker A: Recreated the barrier to stop the dinosaurs from escaping. But one flying reptile seemed about to get through. [00:47:31] Speaker B: Through. [00:47:31] Speaker A: He had to act fast. [00:47:35] Speaker A: Luckily, pterodactyls are famously barely able to support their own weight in the air. So when Marco Polo lands on his back, he goes tumbling down to its death. And it just so happens that there is a pterodactyl skeleton suspended in the museum. The wires snap. Are about to crush two of Anton Carver's professor friends. He just got there. How does he make friends already? [00:48:04] Speaker B: You know, when you live a long time, you probably learn how to make friends, right? [00:48:08] Speaker A: Luckily, he's been keeping a hood under his shirt for just such an emergency. He slaps the mask over his face. No one will suspect that it was Anton Carver flying to the rescue utilizing. [00:48:19] Speaker B: Although they're all friends. And he's been wearing those clothes all day. [00:48:22] Speaker A: Yeah, using fantastic powers such as my elevation vision, which will halt the falling bones and levitate them back up again. [00:48:30] Speaker B: How does this man die? [00:48:33] Speaker B: He has like special Laser vision. He can fly. He has elevation vision. He has super strength. How does he die? [00:48:41] Speaker A: Working rapidly. Immortal man rewires the skeleton back in place firmly. And as it happens, this is the same pterodactyl that tried to escape Misty Valley long ago. [00:48:51] Speaker B: How does he know? Did he give it a name? [00:48:53] Speaker A: And scare. He's got some kind of vision that tells him. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I've met this pterodactyl before. When it was living. [00:49:04] Speaker A: Shortly after, as Helen Phelps approaches the small town, she must be liberated. She's driving an open air car with no headscarf on. [00:49:14] Speaker B: You're right. [00:49:16] Speaker A: She's listening to the radio. At Pembroke College, a mystery man prevented the falling crash of a giant dinosaur skeleton. Witnesses swear the hooded rescuer used amazing superpowers. Aha. [00:49:27] Speaker B: That almost clinches it. [00:49:29] Speaker A: Almost, right? [00:49:30] Speaker B: Almost. Superpowers. Fine, man. I'll bet anything that the hooded mystery man was Anton Carver, alias Jungle Man. Mark King. [00:49:38] Speaker A: Kirk. Jason. [00:49:39] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I'm giddy. Oh, my God. I can hardly control myself, she says. Oh, I can hardly wait to meet him for the final test. What's the final test? [00:49:48] Speaker A: Well, I don't know. Well, soon Anton Carver receives a pleasant shock. Helen arrives and she's greeted by, I guess, the chair of the department. My dear, I knew your father, Sir Winfrey, very well. I just remembered. That's when they met Jungle man, as her and her brother were in pith helmets, crawling through the jungle on some exploration. And they were British royalty, remember? Yes, sir. It was one of our earliest voice impersonations. Her brother was. Was a foppish. Yes. [00:50:25] Speaker A: Trying to find a jungle in search. [00:50:28] Speaker B: Of a good bartini. [00:50:30] Speaker A: My dear, I knew your father, Sir Winfrey, very well. This is the department chair. This is Anton Carver, a bright young genius with an uncanny ability to identify fossils. [00:50:40] Speaker B: He thinks to himself, helen. Helen Phelps, the girl I've met in my past three lives, whom I've fallen in love with. Does she. [00:50:49] Speaker B: Sense who I am? [00:50:51] Speaker A: First of all, any grad student at Pembroke College should be able, I hope, should be able to identify a fossil. Anton Carver's not so special. Hey, look, everybody. That's a fossil. [00:51:09] Speaker B: Look. [00:51:09] Speaker A: While I cradle in my hands like it's a giant appendage coming out of my pants. [00:51:15] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:51:15] Speaker A: Well, Anton recognizes her right away. Helen. Helen Phelps. [00:51:19] Speaker B: Helen Phelps. [00:51:19] Speaker A: It's a good thing her surname isn't back. Hi. [00:51:21] Speaker B: Do you know me? Hi. I'm Helen. Helen Phelps. Helen. Helen Phelps. Helen Phelps. Do you remember me? I'm Helen Phelps. [00:51:28] Speaker A: It's a good thing her surname isn't Back Helen. Back. [00:51:33] Speaker A: Helen Phelps, the girl I've met in my past three lives, whom I've fallen in love with. Does she, er, sense who I am? Yes. [00:51:44] Speaker B: By Helen's test, he radiates that same overwhelming magnetism. But I can't reveal who I think he is here in front of others. I must see him alone. Later. I know his dorm address. [00:51:57] Speaker A: As pretty, charming and attractive as before. I hope to see you again, Ms. Phelps. [00:52:03] Speaker B: She thinks you will, Mr. Carver, you will. Only a confession from his own lips will prove I'm dead right about him. I'll check into a hotel room right now. [00:52:13] Speaker A: Well, you know his dorm address. Why don't you just go straight there? But on the way to the nearby town, a terrifying phenomenon strikes. [00:52:21] Speaker B: Well, she knows she's been driving in an open air car. [00:52:23] Speaker A: She needs to go. [00:52:23] Speaker B: At least she needs to go brush her hair. [00:52:26] Speaker A: It's a glowing ape creature flying down from the sky. Helen immediately senses it's a weird vibratory ape. [00:52:36] Speaker B: Well, she has some keen senses to. [00:52:38] Speaker A: Say it's making that car shake apart violently. And at the college, the noise reaches Anton Carver's super sensitive ears. He focuses his crystal ball vision again. [00:52:51] Speaker B: He's gonna die at some point in the story, right? This man has amazing powers, does he not? Can he not react? Maybe he's just really slow to react. That's his problem. [00:53:03] Speaker A: Now, Helen thrills to see the hooded hero arrive and notices that he came from the direction of the college. Another clue to Anton Carver's real identity. Now, Anton seems to believe that pure vibrations make up this bizarre creature. And he also knows that when two sound waves meet that are out of phase, they cancel each other out. So? So this powerful vibratory beam from his eyes ought to cancel out this vibratory creature bit by bit. And Aha. It's working. [00:53:37] Speaker A: Later, when Anton Carver returns to his. [00:53:40] Speaker B: Dormitory rooms, he walks in and sees her sitting there casually on the sofa. [00:53:44] Speaker A: He forgot to lock his door and she strolled right in. [00:53:46] Speaker B: Helen, how nice. But why were you waiting for me. [00:53:50] Speaker A: To congratulate you for destroying that monster? And where's the hood, Mr. Carver, that conceals your identity to everyone except me? My hood. [00:53:59] Speaker B: Ha ha, ha. Good joke, Ms. Phelps. [00:54:01] Speaker A: No, I'm dead serious, Anton. [00:54:03] Speaker B: Don't change your voice. Anton. [00:54:05] Speaker A: I'm dead serious. Anton or Mark or Jason or Jungleman. It's no use denying the truth. To me, you are the man who dies and lives again. Admit it. I know. [00:54:15] Speaker B: Because she started to Cry. [00:54:16] Speaker A: Choke. I've loved you right from the start. You can't fool a woman in love, Anton. I worked hard to find you once more. And I couldn't bear to lose you again. Sob. [00:54:27] Speaker B: Helen, my dear, don't cry. [00:54:33] Speaker B: Will this dry your tears? [00:54:34] Speaker A: Fwhip your hood. [00:54:38] Speaker B: Yes. I'll take you, only you, into my confidence. I am the man who never stays dead. Life and death, they are only like changing subway trains to me as I ride through eternal life. Although each death is quite painful. [00:54:52] Speaker A: Oh, Anton, you feel the same way I do. I'm sure of it now. [00:54:56] Speaker B: Yes, darling, I've loved you too. Since I first met you. But before we got carried away. There's a problem I need to tell you at dinner. Because I'm hungry. Because I haven't been alive very long. [00:55:08] Speaker A: Or I've been alive forever. You take your pick. [00:55:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:12] Speaker A: Look, Helen. That happy young bride can depend on her husband. Or a restaurant now can depend on her husband staying around for life. Can she? Anton, Come on, it's the 60s. What guarantee can I give you? I'm the man who takes on dangerous jobs, remember? [00:55:28] Speaker B: Oh, but I don't care, Anton, darling. I'll risk it to share my life with you. [00:55:33] Speaker A: I was hoping you'd say that. I had this ready. It's a ring. What's your answer? [00:55:38] Speaker B: Mine? An engagement ring. My answer is yes. A hundred times yes. For all the hundred lives you've lived. Oh, Anton, I'm so happy. [00:55:46] Speaker A: But driving back to his dormitory, their romantic idol is rudely shattered when another one of these vibratory, glowing apes. Wait, Helen. Those power light towers are vibrating and swaying violently. And that huge form above got to go into action. [00:56:03] Speaker B: Oh, shit. Our wedding. [00:56:04] Speaker A: It's another vibratory ape, more gigantic than before. And my anti vibratory I beam doesn't work this time. But if those power lines snap high tension, live wires will drop on cars. [00:56:16] Speaker A: Anton zooms to a nearby junkyard, calling upon another of his mystic powers. [00:56:22] Speaker B: A power that won't save his life, I'm sure. [00:56:24] Speaker A: His molecular mold array, which converts scrap metal into a huge tuning fork and a big mallet. [00:56:31] Speaker B: Returning in seconds. [00:56:32] Speaker A: Here go super powerful vibration waves that did the job. The pitch was attuned to the creature, but not to the solid steel towers or their power lines. [00:56:43] Speaker B: Shortly, the two are. They're out. [00:56:46] Speaker A: They're still driving. Or they're going on a picnic. [00:56:48] Speaker B: They're on a picnic. Picnic. [00:56:51] Speaker A: Next day, at their secluded picnic. This is fun. And Anton, look. Two falling meteorites. Don't worry, honey. It's just Superman who's fused junk cars into a giant pile of scrap metal and set them afire. [00:57:05] Speaker B: Way to tie those two stories together. Well done. [00:57:08] Speaker A: Now, if these meteors are visible in the daytime, they must be super hot. But wait, they aren't ordinary meteorites falling to earth. They're glowing vibratory apes. [00:57:19] Speaker B: All those vibratory apes together. Stupid apes. Right. [00:57:23] Speaker A: They're fire apes. The first one set fire to an old barn. There's no need for my hood here because you're the only observer, Helen. [00:57:32] Speaker B: So what does he do? He uses his condensation radiations to precipitate a temporary rain out of thin air. Which contains moisture. [00:57:41] Speaker A: Always. Thin air always contains moisture. [00:57:43] Speaker B: He douses the burning barn. [00:57:45] Speaker A: But it won't work against those two super hot fire apes. What are they up to now, the rascals? [00:57:51] Speaker B: Crazy fire apes. [00:57:52] Speaker A: Well, they're going after oil tanks. If they set those oil tanks on fire, there'll be a disastrous explosion. I've got to intercept them. [00:57:59] Speaker B: Well, he tries to go after them, but then they'll hurl fire spears at. [00:58:02] Speaker A: Him from their bodies, right? Yes. Try to scorch him to ashes if they ever struck. [00:58:08] Speaker B: Right. [00:58:08] Speaker A: He has all these vision powers, but he's not immune to fire. [00:58:13] Speaker B: He's gotta die somehow. [00:58:14] Speaker A: That means if he's flying, he's gonna get burned by friction. Flying through the air. [00:58:19] Speaker B: Maybe he flies like you do in your dreams. [00:58:21] Speaker A: Slowly. Like the blimp from the Inferior five. Probably. [00:58:26] Speaker A: Now, he's only got one hope. He's got to speed up and flip. Fly in a circle around them. [00:58:32] Speaker B: Wait, if he does get burned, if he's flying at supersonic speed, wouldn't he get burned? [00:58:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:38] Speaker A: He creates a temporary vacuum around them, snuffing them out like candle flames. But now he's got to go find out where all these unearthly menaces are coming from. They came from above. And aha. My long range vision. I guess this is different from crystal ball vision. Even though it is in the shape of a ball, my long range vision shows a warp in the sky. Which means that a doorway has opened up between Earth and an alien dimension. Great. And the only way to close the dimension door is with an explosion. Helen, I'll be taking a very dangerous chance. Should I take it or not risk my life again? [00:59:17] Speaker B: Oh, Anton, I can't selfishly keep you for myself. You must try. But please come back. Please. [00:59:24] Speaker A: And next time, please try to come back as a redhead or brunette. I'm not keen on blonde man. [00:59:33] Speaker A: Shortly above the clouds, he tries to play it safe by flinging the bomb at the dimension door and getting away fast before the explosion. But it seems that some force field radiating from the dimension door bounces the missile back. [00:59:46] Speaker B: So the only solution is for him to hug the missile and fly it himself into the dimensional warp and then. [00:59:52] Speaker A: Let go and escape before the time fuse sets off the bomb. [00:59:56] Speaker B: But as we know, the man who dies a hundred times is essentially full of lots of powers and clever ideas. Yes, always seems to fail at the last minute at something. [01:00:07] Speaker A: Now he hears telepathic voices from inside the dimension door. [01:00:13] Speaker A: Which say, look. Invasion from the Earth dimension. Fire the Z ray and set off that bomb before it comes through into our dimension. Hurry, Hurdy. [01:00:26] Speaker B: They're apes. So they. One of them is. Right. [01:00:29] Speaker A: You don't know how close I just came to doing Cookie Puss. Oh, Cookie Puss. Cookiepuss. How's that? Cookiepuss? [01:00:38] Speaker B: Their hafts are Katzen. There are Larenzo era. [01:00:49] Speaker A: All right. [01:00:50] Speaker B: I watched that Carvel commercial. The Tom. Just like a string of those Tom Carvel commercials. Yeah, from Carvel. Ice cream in the day. [01:00:57] Speaker A: Just. [01:00:57] Speaker B: Just for joy. I don't know. It came up on the Instagrams. [01:01:01] Speaker A: We didn't have Carvel when I was growing up. [01:01:03] Speaker B: We didn't. [01:01:04] Speaker A: I mean, in the north. We didn't have it down south, sure. [01:01:09] Speaker B: You sound like he was gasping for. [01:01:11] Speaker A: Air. [01:01:13] Speaker B: Just in time for the holidays. Cooking for us. [01:01:19] Speaker A: Anyway, Immortal Man's inside the dimension. He has to strike the fuse, which means the bomb's going to go off, not giving him a chance to escape. And once more, by a mocking twist of fate, the man who died 100 times is claimed by death again. Oh, no. [01:01:39] Speaker B: Below, a heartbroken girl, dreams also burst. Anton Carver. He's gone forever. SOB but somewhere, sometime, he'll return to me in a new life. I know that. [01:01:51] Speaker A: Well, Helen, I've got some news. He returns not until 1984, and you're nowhere to be found. Really? Really? This is the last Immortal man story? [01:02:04] Speaker B: Well, I mean, come on now. [01:02:07] Speaker A: There is a character in the 90s called a resurrection man, and I'm not clear on the details, it might be the same character, but yes, he returned in 1984 with a group called the Forgotten Heroes, which included Dane Dorrance from the Sea Devils and Animal Men. [01:02:25] Speaker B: Oh, Animal Men. [01:02:26] Speaker A: And. [01:02:29] Speaker A: Well, the Enchantress was part of the Forgotten Villains because she'd turned bad by that time. The Switcheroo. Witcheroo. Who else was in the Forgotten Heroes. Cave Carson and Dolphin. You don't know anything about dolphin yet, but she was sleeping with Auchmann once. Oh, and Aqualad. Both. Not at the same time. She had a baby with Aqualad. [01:02:54] Speaker A: But I think that's been done away with in a retcon. [01:02:57] Speaker B: Okay. [01:02:59] Speaker A: And, yeah, so last immortal man story from the 60s for the next 15 years. Okay. Yeah, that's kind of sad. And Helen, I wonder if she's still trying to find him. [01:03:11] Speaker B: I mean, if they didn't kill him off in every single story, it would be kind of interesting. [01:03:15] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, but they did. I mean, that's his gimmick, so they kind of had to stick with it. Right. [01:03:21] Speaker B: Okay. I wonder if anybody back then was like, why does this guy always die? [01:03:27] Speaker A: Probably not. I mean, I looked for Irene Vartanoff letter, but no such luck. [01:03:33] Speaker B: Well, soon we'll have to bring forward her grandson's letter. [01:03:36] Speaker A: Yes, maybe we'll try that next week. [01:03:41] Speaker A: I can't remember what's next week, but it's either Action Comics, Detective Comics, or Adventure Comics. So it's going to be a good time no matter what it is. [01:03:48] Speaker B: How exciting. [01:03:49] Speaker A: You can find us on social media, ogocheckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra, and you can find us right back here, God willing, next week. [01:04:05] Speaker A: Bye. [01:04:06] Speaker C: You don't have to be a politician. You can change it all with a sin and disposition so we have it. [01:04:15] Speaker C: And spread it all around. [01:04:19] Speaker C: If you find yourself a frowning just turn it upside down. [01:04:26] Speaker C: When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine. You gotta give in one time. You gotta turn on the sunshine. Push those blues away. [01:04:52] Speaker C: Man, this dialectic's too much.