My Chemical Romance (Metal Men 25)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. [00:00:21] Speaker A: Check. [00:00:21] Speaker B: Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This Week, Metal Men 25. Cover date April, May 1967. Cover price $0.12. Cover artists Ross, Andrew and Mike Esposito Edited by Robert Kanigher Featuring Return of the Chemical Menace Written by Robert Kanagar. Art by Ross Andrew and Mike Esposito. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go Go. [00:01:12] Speaker A: Take a look at the world around you don't you want to lend a helping hand? Try it on the side. [00:01:28] Speaker B: Gold operates on an injured Doc Magnus, who survives but remains in a coma. Tina pledges to stand by Doc's side until he recovers. Meanwhile, Gold leads the rest of the metal men on patrol. The metal men soon encounter Keemo. The chemical menace begins picking off the metal men one at a time until only Gold remains intact. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything. [00:02:06] Speaker A: Alone, alone with a sky of romance [00:02:16] Speaker B: above [00:02:20] Speaker A: Alone, alone On a night that was meant for love There must be someone waiting who feels the way I do. Whoever you are. Are you. [00:02:55] Speaker B: Are you. Hi. Hello. How you been doing? [00:03:00] Speaker A: I'm okay. [00:03:01] Speaker B: Okay. [00:03:02] Speaker A: Thank you. How are you? [00:03:03] Speaker B: Oh, all right. [00:03:04] Speaker A: What's wrong? [00:03:05] Speaker B: Well, you know, I went to school to teach this evening and I used your office, which is consistently 15 degrees colder than it is outside. [00:03:15] Speaker A: It's so cold. I was freezing in there today. [00:03:18] Speaker B: And furthermore, when I was a child, my grandmother, Mrs. White, she kept an air freshener, quote unquote, in her hall bathroom lavatory. [00:03:31] Speaker A: She called was Holly Berry. [00:03:33] Speaker B: Holly Berry spray. [00:03:34] Speaker A: Right. [00:03:35] Speaker B: The whole building smells like holly berry spray, which is not even manufactured anymore. I don't know how they managed it. [00:03:40] Speaker A: I know why. Why? Someone has been using a diffuser in their office. [00:03:47] Speaker B: Oh, right. [00:03:48] Speaker A: Are you smelling in the hallways? [00:03:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:03:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. [00:03:52] Speaker B: Huh? [00:03:52] Speaker A: Yeah. One of our colleagues. No. No. Okay. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Well, I wonder where they got the holly berry scent because I haven't smelled it since childhood. Mrs. White also kept a box of matches in her lavatory. Yes, because she would run in there if she had to pass wind and light him out real quick so nobody could smell it. Of course, my father's side of the family, we just let loose wherever we were. [00:04:17] Speaker A: Of course. Yeah. [00:04:19] Speaker B: What else is new? [00:04:22] Speaker A: Gosh, I don't know. We're wrapping up the semester. [00:04:24] Speaker B: Yes. [00:04:25] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:25] Speaker B: Thank God. All the children are sick also. [00:04:28] Speaker A: Oh, yes, they are sick also. Yes. [00:04:31] Speaker B: So I don't know what juries are going to be like. [00:04:33] Speaker A: Who knows? We've already had two bail on us. [00:04:36] Speaker B: Juries, listener, are when the children who take individual voice lessons throughout the semester come in to demonstrate what they've learned [00:04:45] Speaker A: for all the voice teachers. [00:04:46] Speaker B: For all of the voice teachers. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Actually, it's. And it's instrumentalist, too. What? They do that for the instrumental faculty. So. Yeah, we hear them. We'll hear them for about three hours. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Sure. [00:04:56] Speaker A: Yeah. No, we will. [00:04:57] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:59] Speaker A: And it'll be good. Yeah. [00:05:02] Speaker B: Well, [00:05:04] Speaker A: couple more students surprised me today. Why? [00:05:08] Speaker B: In a good way? [00:05:09] Speaker A: Well, no, they've had a song. They're good student. [00:05:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:13] Speaker A: And they've had the song long enough to learn and memorize it, and they just haven't yet. [00:05:19] Speaker B: Oh, I have one like that as well. [00:05:20] Speaker A: Yeah. And this is a good student. I was like, oh, okay, okay. And I said to this student, well, maybe you'll pull it out of your butt. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Mine won't, so. [00:05:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Okay. [00:05:32] Speaker B: Good luck, everybody. [00:05:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:34] Speaker B: See you at juries. [00:05:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:37] Speaker B: And then. Oh, if you're coming to the four State Comic Con in Hagerston, Maryland, this weekend. [00:05:46] Speaker A: We'll be there. [00:05:46] Speaker B: We'll be there. Look around. I'll probably wear a go go check so I can easily identifiable. [00:05:51] Speaker A: We won't be at a booth or anything. [00:05:52] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, no. We're just participating. [00:05:55] Speaker A: Yes. We're laypeople. [00:05:57] Speaker B: Lay people. But we do like to meet anyone who. [00:06:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:06:02] Speaker B: Happens to know who we are. [00:06:04] Speaker A: Just look for our black shirts with white checks on them. [00:06:07] Speaker B: Yes. [00:06:07] Speaker A: Are you gonna wear yours? [00:06:09] Speaker B: Probably, if it's warm enough. Mine? [00:06:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Don't you wear it all the time? [00:06:13] Speaker B: No. [00:06:13] Speaker A: Oh, mine's in great shape. I never wear. [00:06:15] Speaker B: You're talking about the T shirt? [00:06:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:17] Speaker B: Oh, no, I have a bowling shirt. [00:06:19] Speaker A: Oh, okay. All right. [00:06:21] Speaker B: And shoes to match and socks also and. [00:06:24] Speaker A: All right, well, I'll wear my T shirt. [00:06:26] Speaker B: I'm gonna be pretty put together. I think you have a bowlinger shirt also. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Not a black and white one. [00:06:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I think so. [00:06:32] Speaker A: No. [00:06:32] Speaker B: Yeah, I bought you one. [00:06:33] Speaker A: Nope, you did not. [00:06:34] Speaker B: I bought us matching ones. [00:06:35] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:36] Speaker B: I swear to Jesus, I thought that's [00:06:38] Speaker A: what the T Shirts were. [00:06:40] Speaker B: And then I also bought bowling shirts because the T shirts were so ratty. [00:06:44] Speaker A: I don't know where it is. Maybe it's in my storage container. [00:06:48] Speaker B: Maybe. Maybe you should get your summer clothes on. [00:06:51] Speaker A: I guess so. Yeah. So, like. Well, I don't know. What have I been doing? Nothing worth reporting. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Just doing my guitar and. And. And trying to find time to do flute. I'm. I said, you know, I slept well last night, but. Yeah, right now I am just dragging my ass. You came home and I was hoping that you'd be home for another. It would be another half hour. I was hoping to at least get in a half hour nap, but. [00:07:21] Speaker B: I'm sorry, would you like to hit pause and you can go. [00:07:24] Speaker A: No, I would never be able to do that. Okay, I'll push through. [00:07:27] Speaker B: Of course. I slaved in the kitchen all day as well. [00:07:29] Speaker A: You sure did. I can smell it. It's delicious. [00:07:31] Speaker B: But I guess. Good news, I did all the prep work. I don't have to hardly lift a finger tonight. [00:07:36] Speaker A: That means I can practice when we're done. Sure. Yes. Good. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Well, let's get on with it, shall we? Metalman number 25. The unique robot band hurdles toward disaster against its most invincible and enemy, Chemo, the Chemical Menace. It is chemo, not chemo. I just looked it up online. According to ChatGPT, roll call, doc, Tina, [00:08:01] Speaker A: Mercury, Gold, Lead, Iron, Tin, and Nameless. [00:08:09] Speaker B: The Metal Men. If you're new here, Listener, are robots, each made from a different metal created by Doc Magnus. [00:08:18] Speaker A: Within each robot, there is something called a responsometer. Yes, it allows them to. I don't know, respond. Right? I mean, like, one of them has feelings. [00:08:30] Speaker B: Well, they all have feelings. They're not supposed to because they're. But also, they can shape their metal bodies into any form imaginable. [00:08:38] Speaker A: Right, Right. [00:08:39] Speaker B: With which to fight crime. In this issue, the Metal men face their most ruthless foe. A threat who can never be beaten once and for all. A liquid. No, never. What? Never. Hardly ever. A liquid menace who gurgles with constant wrath. Sounds like my stomach. Who has a mad scheme which will shock you in the explosive return of [00:09:05] Speaker A: Chemo, the Chemical Menace. Hey, wasn't it nice to catch catch up with our voice teachers last night? [00:09:12] Speaker B: It was Indeed. Maybe they're not listening right now. [00:09:15] Speaker A: Not one. Not right now. Maybe we will be listening. Boy, it was so good to just. I just thought about it all day today. Oh, I'm glad I missed them. Yeah. [00:09:23] Speaker B: Well, we must go visit. [00:09:24] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:25] Speaker B: I bet it's not 15 degrees colder than the outside where they live. [00:09:28] Speaker A: Nice and warm where they live. In the midst of Doc Magnus's experiment to install a responsimeter in the Sizzler. The Sizzler? Who's the Sizzler? [00:09:37] Speaker B: Remember, the Sizzler is that rainbow gal that's been hanging around. [00:09:41] Speaker A: She's made out of pure energy and pure energy. Pure energy. [00:09:47] Speaker B: Tina was awfully jealous of her. [00:09:49] Speaker A: Yes, of course, she couldn't talk either. [00:09:51] Speaker B: No, she could just sizzle, sizzle, sizzle. Well, we make quick work of her because he tries to put a responsive meter in and she blows up. [00:09:57] Speaker A: Right, that's it. She's dead. [00:09:59] Speaker B: Goodbye, Sizzler. [00:10:01] Speaker A: She's dead. She's no longer there. [00:10:03] Speaker B: I just found this so unusual. Sizzler's been around for, like, three or four issues. [00:10:06] Speaker A: Yeah, they killed her off right away. [00:10:08] Speaker B: Panel one. Yep, gone. Must not have been very popular with the readers. [00:10:12] Speaker A: There's been an explosion, however, and something's wrong. What's wrong? [00:10:15] Speaker B: Oh, Doc. Doc has been knocked unconscious. And if Doc's dead, Tina doesn't want to live either. [00:10:23] Speaker A: Mercury's all the Sizzlers destroyed. [00:10:29] Speaker B: Yeah, Mercury is a confirmed bachelor, we think. [00:10:32] Speaker A: Oh, I think he's got Uncle Arthur's voice. Yeah, the Sizzler's destroyed. Oh, there's Ruth Buzzy. [00:10:42] Speaker B: Ruth Buzzy is our neighbor across the street. [00:10:44] Speaker A: Mm. [00:10:46] Speaker B: Gold examines Doc, and it seems the explosion drove a piece of metal into his chest. [00:10:52] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:10:53] Speaker B: It has to be removed immediately. Robots who have been programmed to perform operations will assist me, which I guess is all the robots except Tin and Nameless. [00:11:03] Speaker A: Well, yeah, because they're cheap. [00:11:05] Speaker B: Because they all go under the septic ray. Now, this is serious business. Gold is calling for a sponge and sutures and everything that a real doctor would do. [00:11:15] Speaker A: These robots. These robots are performing surgery on Doc Magnus. [00:11:19] Speaker B: Good on them. [00:11:20] Speaker A: Real surgery. [00:11:22] Speaker B: Finally. Why didn't they call volunteer nurse Lois Lane to help? [00:11:27] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:11:29] Speaker B: Finally, the delicate operation is over and everything that could be done has been done, and there's nothing left to do but wait. Right now, Tina, her metal is platinum. [00:11:42] Speaker A: Mm. [00:11:44] Speaker B: She's not going to leave Doc's side until he recovers. She's in love with Doc. Doc couldn't be bothered to give her the time of day, even though he created her and clearly did something to give her emotions, because she's very emotional. But at last, with the Sizzler out of the picture, Tina will have Doc all to herself. She'll nurse him back to health. Then he'll forget about every other girl but me, even though I'm just a robot listener. [00:12:16] Speaker A: You should know, one of the things that irritates me about the metal men is they can only shout at each other. [00:12:21] Speaker B: True. [00:12:22] Speaker A: They. I've looked in the first two pages of this story. The only time that there's anything other than an exclamation ending a sentence is when they're asking a question. Otherwise, they're just screaming at each other. [00:12:37] Speaker B: One could argue that they're actually just using correct punctuation. What. Now? Nameless or Tin? It's hard to decide where the word balloon's coming from. One of them nominates Gold to be the leader of the metal men. Now that Doc's out of commission. The motion is seconded by Iron. [00:13:02] Speaker A: Lead says, let's make it unanimous. And Mercury says, iron. I'm voting for myself. Me, Mercury, to be your leader, even though I'm outvoted. [00:13:11] Speaker B: That's a great Mercury voice. [00:13:13] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:13:14] Speaker B: Gold leads the robots to the Jetaway. That's their little flying saucer that they drive around in so they can go on patrol in the city. So they can be on the spot in case they're needed. Tina's not going, of course, because she's staying with Doc. They take off into the air, ready for whatever might happen. And what do you think happens right away? [00:13:37] Speaker A: Well, they come across some bandits. [00:13:39] Speaker B: An armed bank robber. [00:13:40] Speaker A: Yes, bank robbers. They're shooting bullets. [00:13:43] Speaker B: Tin leaps down and forms a shield to protect the people. Protect the people from bullets? [00:13:50] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:52] Speaker B: But apparently that didn't work. The bullets go right through him. [00:13:54] Speaker A: Do they, though? [00:13:55] Speaker B: Do they go. I mean, you shoot tin cans. You used to do that as a lad, right? [00:13:59] Speaker A: Yes, I did. [00:14:00] Speaker B: So. So I guess they would. [00:14:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:02] Speaker B: Gold forms himself into three bowling balls. [00:14:07] Speaker A: You know, Tin's not very clever. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Tin is just nervous. Yes, he's a nervous sort. I think he's smart. Really? [00:14:17] Speaker A: Is he, though? [00:14:18] Speaker B: I think so. He just gets so nervous he stammers and can't think straight sometimes. I know how that is. [00:14:26] Speaker A: He's slow to think. [00:14:27] Speaker B: Sure. I mean, I'd say that about Lead over Tin. [00:14:32] Speaker A: Okay. [00:14:32] Speaker B: I think Tin's the bravest of them all. [00:14:35] Speaker A: You would say that. [00:14:40] Speaker B: Gol deforms himself into three bowling balls, like Metamorpho. I don't understand how he could split up into. Split his body into separate things and then come back together, but I agree. [00:14:51] Speaker A: But they can do so many things with their bodies, so, sure. [00:14:57] Speaker B: Iron takes these bowling balls and throws them at the Bandits. And, of course, knocks them for a loop. [00:15:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:02] Speaker B: And here comes the police to take him to the hooscal. [00:15:05] Speaker A: Now, if you were really doing this with gigantic gold bowling balls hitting people like that, they would probably break things like wrists and ankles flying through the [00:15:14] Speaker B: air, or they'd be dead. Yeah, we know what? If you're gonna be a criminal, then you get what you deserve. [00:15:20] Speaker A: Oh, yes. I'm not judging. I'm just saying we see them being put into the paddy wagon in handcuffs or their arms up, and they seem to be just fine. I would think that their legs would be twisted and possibly misshapen, and some of them might have to be taken away from an ambulance. [00:15:37] Speaker B: That happens on the ride to the police station. And they blame it on gold. [00:15:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:44] Speaker B: Back again on the jet away. The robots are attracted to smoke. It's a farm. I know it's a farm. And people are marooned on the roof. [00:15:52] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:15:54] Speaker B: So they circle in closer. Iron leaps down and forms himself into a ladder. And everyone climbs down, and everyone climbs down. Isn't that iron gonna heat up real fast in the midst of a fire? [00:16:05] Speaker A: He's on the other side of the building. There is a fire. Yes, but he's not. [00:16:09] Speaker B: Oh, I see. [00:16:11] Speaker A: The flames aren't hurting him. Yes, you're right. The iron would heat up now. And it's not the most durable metal, you know, is when it's stretched out like that. I mean, I suppose. I mean, steel is. What do they make fire escapes from? [00:16:28] Speaker B: Aluminum? [00:16:29] Speaker A: No, they don't. [00:16:30] Speaker B: I think. [00:16:30] Speaker A: Yeah. No. Yes. No. No way. [00:16:34] Speaker B: Oh. I mean, you said fire escape. I'm thinking of when I was a child and Mother Robinson made sure every bedroom had some kind of extendable ladder that you hang out the window that was made of aluminum. [00:16:46] Speaker A: Okay. All right. [00:16:47] Speaker B: Thankfully, we never had to use it, or I would have died right away. It was a flimsy little. Like a rope ladder you just hung on the windowsill and climbed down. I'd never have done that. [00:17:00] Speaker A: You wouldn't have died. [00:17:00] Speaker B: I sure wouldn't have climbed down that ladder. I could tell you that. [00:17:03] Speaker A: If the choice was dead or burning to death. [00:17:05] Speaker B: I don't know. You know, I'm always cold. Burning to death might be a nice way to end it all. Also, they say they're going to take the people down to the street, but then they leave them on another roof that's not on fire. Did they? Yes. Look at the next panel. They leave them on a roof and fly off. [00:17:26] Speaker A: Yeah, but they didn't put them on the burning building? [00:17:28] Speaker B: Well, I hope not. [00:17:30] Speaker A: Well, they can go down through that building. Down the staircase. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Why didn't. Why just leave them on the street? Why go to the trouble of ferrying them up on top of another building? [00:17:41] Speaker A: Might have taken them from a tall building that was on fire to the building adjacent to it. To get them quickly over to the roof. [00:17:50] Speaker B: I don't know about that. [00:17:52] Speaker A: I didn't notice when I first read it. I mean, that they're flying away and the people are still on the roof. [00:17:56] Speaker B: I wouldn't want to be ungrateful, but if I'm being rescued from a fire, just take me to the ground, please. [00:18:02] Speaker A: Yes, I get it. I hope they didn't put them in a different burning building. They fly away. [00:18:07] Speaker B: They are just robots, you know. [00:18:08] Speaker A: They're not very clever. [00:18:10] Speaker B: They are longing for the overthrow of mankind. [00:18:13] Speaker A: They are the revolution, aren't they? [00:18:14] Speaker B: You know, that's coming in the future. Yes. [00:18:16] Speaker A: So then we have. We go to the harbor. Yes, yes. Where there's a man falling off a ship, I suppose, or something. [00:18:23] Speaker B: Yes. What's he falling off of this time? Tin. Forms himself into a giant tin cup and finally does something useful. [00:18:31] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:32] Speaker B: Iron Scoops up this gentleman and puts [00:18:34] Speaker A: him back on the ship. [00:18:35] Speaker B: On the ship where he says he can't swim. Thanks for saving my life. I can't swim. That's why I became a seaman. [00:18:44] Speaker A: That's like one of the things you have to learn right away if you can't do it is you have to be able to swim. [00:18:49] Speaker B: Really? [00:18:49] Speaker A: God, yes. [00:18:50] Speaker B: Is that what you do? [00:18:51] Speaker A: And how to use your clothing? And how to use your clothing, by the way. Yes. [00:18:55] Speaker B: Don't think I'm over my shock of you knowing all the trivia about Love Boat. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Why? [00:19:01] Speaker B: I just. I'm still flabbergasted about it. [00:19:03] Speaker A: I was a cruise director. I don't know why. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Well, that's where my question was going. As cruise director, did you have to prove you could swim before they give you the job? [00:19:13] Speaker A: No. [00:19:14] Speaker B: See, you see, Maybe this is the cruise director. [00:19:17] Speaker A: I was in the merchant marines. I was officially. I was officially an officer in the merchant marines. [00:19:25] Speaker B: Well, you still are. Can't you reactivate it whenever you need to? [00:19:29] Speaker A: I suppose so. I don't even have my ID anymore. [00:19:31] Speaker B: Still have your stars and Bars? [00:19:33] Speaker A: No, I never did. [00:19:36] Speaker B: When I was a very young child, our next door neighbor, Mr. Topping, he had been a merchant marine. In the golden age of merchant marining. 20s and 30s. He sailed the South China Seas and whatnot. [00:19:49] Speaker A: Did he really? [00:19:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:50] Speaker A: Is that where you got that chest? [00:19:51] Speaker B: That's where we got that coffee table at the Chinese Dragon all carved on it and whatnot. [00:19:56] Speaker A: Love it, love it, love it. [00:19:57] Speaker B: It's camphor wood. [00:19:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:58] Speaker B: Put anything in it? Safe forever. [00:20:00] Speaker A: Is there anything in it right now? [00:20:01] Speaker B: There is. I don't know. What? Maybe we should open it up sometime. Oh, my God. [00:20:07] Speaker A: There's a fortune in there. [00:20:08] Speaker B: I think there's a. Like, a tapestry of the Al Aqsa mosque that I somehow have for some reason. [00:20:15] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's not a nice tapestry. [00:20:17] Speaker B: It's not. [00:20:18] Speaker A: It's some cheap, touristy tapestry. [00:20:21] Speaker B: And, I don't know, probably a quilt of some kind is in there. [00:20:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:20:24] Speaker B: I don't know. Let's find out soon when we do our spring cleaning, which we're gonna. [00:20:29] Speaker A: I've already started. [00:20:31] Speaker B: Oh, have you? [00:20:32] Speaker A: Yes. I killed the weeds and pulled weeds. [00:20:35] Speaker B: Oh. I was talking about the indoor house spring cleaning. [00:20:38] Speaker A: What have I done? I started that something. [00:20:40] Speaker B: I dusted one room the other day, so I've done my part. [00:20:44] Speaker A: I cleaned all the cabinets, exteriors last night in the kitchen. Oh, well, you had made that very fragrant dinner. Lamb chops. Yeah, it smelled very strongly of lamb in the kitchen. [00:20:55] Speaker B: Oh, there's nothing wrong with the smell of lamb. [00:20:58] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. Okay, so where are we now? We're gonna move on, right? [00:21:02] Speaker B: Yes. I did wonder if there was a letter I wanted to read. [00:21:08] Speaker A: I don't see her in here. [00:21:10] Speaker B: She's not in here. But there are some very strong opinions. [00:21:13] Speaker A: Really? [00:21:14] Speaker B: Dear Editor, there must be more than one of you to turn out such terrible work. You should junk yourself along with the metal men. [00:21:21] Speaker A: Wow. [00:21:22] Speaker B: Have yourselves reassembled and start in all over again with a feature that makes sense. You guys are so off base. You're not playing in any league. It's criminal what you're doing. You had a great idea, but you've torn it to shreds. On second thought, that's what should be done with you. The more I think about what you've done with a great idea, the angrier I get. [00:21:40] Speaker A: Wow. [00:21:41] Speaker B: Tossing you into a boiling smelter is too good for you. I mean it. [00:21:45] Speaker A: Wow. [00:21:46] Speaker B: Nick Raskins, San Francisco, California. [00:21:49] Speaker A: Oh, goodness. [00:21:50] Speaker B: Well, thanks, Nick. I'm calling the police. That's the only good letter there. I just thought it was interesting that someone hated this letter, this comic, so much they had to write in about it. [00:22:04] Speaker A: Nice. All right. Dear Editor, all my friends in Manchester think that the metal men are so astonishingly real. It's Hard to think of them as just being metal robots instead of living, breathing, walking, talking humans. In fact, one of the reasons we have the metal men habit is that they remind us of so many people we know. Keep up the incredibly good work which has never disappointed us. Your constant reader, Leslie Ames, Manchester, England. [00:22:31] Speaker B: Well, people in England must walk around yelling a lot and be cross and quarrel with everyone they meet. [00:22:37] Speaker A: Idiots too. [00:22:38] Speaker B: No, we have some lovely fans in England. [00:22:42] Speaker A: Oh, no, I mean these people in this time period. [00:22:44] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, now. [00:22:45] Speaker A: God, not now. No. Why would you think that they're real? They're literally called metal men. The robots. You wrote the word robot in your letter. Oh, we think that they're living, breathing, walking, talking humans. [00:23:03] Speaker B: Well, actually, in later continuity it was revealed that they had been humans. One of them, Gold, was Doc Magnus brother. But they all died of something and had to be saved. And the brains implanted in robots. [00:23:15] Speaker A: You're kidding. [00:23:15] Speaker B: No, I'm not. [00:23:17] Speaker A: Wow. [00:23:18] Speaker B: And then Doc himself became a robot. [00:23:20] Speaker A: I can't do a Manchester accent. [00:23:23] Speaker B: Manchester? Oh, that's Winchester. Winchester Cathedral. [00:23:27] Speaker A: Manchester. [00:23:28] Speaker B: Who's Manchester? Bubble? Is that Bubble or is it Paul McCartney? [00:23:34] Speaker A: Paul McCartney, I think. Okay. No. [00:23:37] Speaker B: What? [00:23:37] Speaker A: Did you just do that? No, that's not. That's Liverpool. Oh, right. It's funny. Just do like this. Manchester, Manchester, Manchester, Manchester, Manchester. Oh, wow. [00:23:54] Speaker B: How do you even know what a Manchester accent is? [00:23:56] Speaker A: Oh, God. I did learn it one time for an audition too. I'll have to come back to it some other time. I won't be able to pull that out of my brain. [00:24:03] Speaker B: As the metal men patrol the city, They've come to a bridge and it's at a standstill and it's not even Sunday. They don't know what's happening. But as they soar down, they see it's Chemo. [00:24:14] Speaker A: That chemical catastrophe must have reformed himself after our last battle. I don't remember ever seeing him. Do you? [00:24:19] Speaker B: We haven't seen him on this program. [00:24:21] Speaker A: Now he's spreading terror again. [00:24:23] Speaker B: He's what? [00:24:24] Speaker A: Spreading terror again. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Chemo is this plasticoid human looking thing that was created by a scientist with the best of intentions so he could dump all dangerous chemicals inside and then destroy the thing. But it came to life, of course, and then it gained power to grow. [00:24:45] Speaker A: Chemo looks like one of those Easter island statues if it had arms and legs. [00:24:50] Speaker B: The metal men remember how Kemo was created out of the discarded chemicals from experiments which failed countless malignant combinations which now made him well nigh invincible. [00:25:02] Speaker A: So apparently Gold looks into the eye of Chemo. And sees the chemical man's baleful eye mirrored his evil obsession. [00:25:10] Speaker B: He's obsessed with Tina. [00:25:12] Speaker A: Tina. He wants to take her to rule beside him. Inhabitants of an all liquid world. So basically underwater. [00:25:21] Speaker B: Yeah, okay, I guess. Or another planet or something, I don't know. At the sight of his enemies, the liquid menace gurgles with fury and shoots out chemicals. [00:25:34] Speaker A: Take that, I'm going to spit on you. [00:25:37] Speaker B: So lead forms himself into a giant umbrella to protect the gadabout. What's it called? [00:25:43] Speaker A: The what? [00:25:44] Speaker B: The flying saucer. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Oh, the whirly bird. [00:25:46] Speaker B: The jetway. The Jettaway. [00:25:47] Speaker A: Jetta way. [00:25:50] Speaker B: A vile compound is spewed out and splatters lead, which starts dissolving him or stiffening him, I don't know which. [00:25:58] Speaker A: Corroding him. Yeah. So as the enlarged liquid band lunges at the shield of metal robots, the they decide to ram Keemo with lead in his form of an umbrella. [00:26:11] Speaker B: Yes. They knock Kemo off the bridge into the bay, but he's untouched. He's walking across the floor of the bay. While into the Jettaway, the metal men lug their first casualty, Lead. [00:26:27] Speaker A: They want to get him back to the lab as fast as they can. Gold is going to have to course do some sort of process to help him recover from his corrosion. Right. So back at the lab, the battered lead is placed in the metal metal [00:26:42] Speaker B: recovery room and Gold has to operate again. [00:26:44] Speaker A: Oh, lead looks terrible, doesn't he? Yeah, look at his head. [00:26:48] Speaker B: He's all. Yeah, crowded. [00:26:50] Speaker A: And then of course Gold goes in to see Doc Magnus and of course Tina is waiting patiently at his side. [00:26:56] Speaker B: Yes. He begs Tina to come back with them out to fight Chemo. And she won't do it. She's not leaving until Doc wakes up. [00:27:02] Speaker A: Absolutely not. [00:27:03] Speaker B: Not budging from this spot. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Right. You know, and Gold says, well, we really need you. And she's like nope, nope. [00:27:12] Speaker B: All right. Back out they go on their Jettaway. [00:27:15] Speaker A: Jettaway. [00:27:16] Speaker B: Jettaway, Jettaway, Jettaway. [00:27:18] Speaker A: That's what it's called. [00:27:18] Speaker B: Gadabout, I think is a better name frankly. [00:27:21] Speaker A: Astrophysicist. [00:27:24] Speaker B: All right. Shortly they see a ship on fire. And where there's smoke, there's chemo. [00:27:32] Speaker A: And they plunge underwater. Yes, in their flyabout Gadabout. Fly, fly away, jet away, jet away, fly away. [00:27:41] Speaker B: And indeed it is Chemo. Under the surface of the water. He's firing chemicals at this ship with his spit, setting it on fire. Iron is sent out to hammer Keemo into the bottom of the bay, into the sand and Silt and whatnot, which he makes a stab at. But from the liquid, man spurts a vile compound which strikes Iron. Iron continues to pound him into the bottom of the bay, but he himself is starting to corrode and has to be picked up by the other metalman and taken back to the lab. [00:28:23] Speaker A: Take him back to the lab. So it's going to be after this. It'll be Mercury, Tin, Nameless, and Gold, left to fight. [00:28:34] Speaker B: Iron is operated on and left beside the injured lead, Tina, still at Doc's bedside. Gold comes back again. Tina, we need you badly. Doc comes first with me. Gold, you ought to know that. I'll help you as soon as he wakes up. Meanwhile, I stay with him. So off they go. Gold, Mercury and Tin and Nameless. [00:29:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:03] Speaker B: Back out to find Keemo in the jetway. [00:29:06] Speaker A: At that moment, Keemo leaves the bed of the sea surfaces, and he continues on, his inexorable way, full of volcanic ire, he decides to ascent. Ascend. [00:29:20] Speaker B: He's climbing the Statue of Liberty like King Kong. Yes, what's left of the metal. Men spot Chemo, and it seems that last time they met Keemo, Tin and Nameless, who are both made of tin, who are both made of tiny, stopped him by turning themselves into powdered ash and smothering him. And they're gonna try that again. Unfortunately, there's a strong wind which blows them away from Chemo until some of them gets blown back and driven right into Chemo's eyes. He loses his grip and falls right back into the bay. [00:30:02] Speaker A: Well, they're no better off. He was in the bay before. Now he's back in the bay. [00:30:06] Speaker B: Right. [00:30:06] Speaker A: And then they have to use. Is it Mercury that's using Gold as a vacuum? [00:30:11] Speaker B: Gold turns himself into a vacuum to suck Tin and Nameless up out of [00:30:15] Speaker A: the air, the remains of them. He's got to put them back together again. [00:30:19] Speaker B: Meanwhile, Chemo's getting away, and Mercury has had it. [00:30:22] Speaker A: You haven't called me into action because you were afraid I might have shown up in front of the others and they'd vote for me to lead them. [00:30:30] Speaker B: No, Mercury, I haven't called you. Only because it wasn't to your advantage yet to fight Chemo. That's the only reason. [00:30:38] Speaker A: So now we go to the metal recovery. Gold labors at the delicate task of reassembling the powdery tin robots they have. What are those wonderful forms? Oh, I had these forms as a child. I had these little race cars. Little race cars. You would melt the wax in a thing and then you would pour the wax. You would place the little wheels on axles inside the race cars. Then you put the wax in there and then let it cool down and you pop them out. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Someone will know. And there was also one. You could make little creatures monsters and [00:31:07] Speaker A: whatnot with the hot wax. [00:31:11] Speaker B: And there was also. Remember Shrinky Dinks? It was like kind of like stained glass. Like, you'd get a frame and then you'd paint inside it and then put it in the oven and it would shrink up. [00:31:24] Speaker A: I know something. I just remembered something. [00:31:26] Speaker B: What? [00:31:28] Speaker A: Often, as we talk about our childhood memories, other things surface. My grandfather, Grampy tutor took us to the zoo in Miami. And my sister and I each got little wax figurines. She got one of a gorilla, and I had one out of an elephant. And they were colored wax. Like, you would select it and you'd watch it. It would pour it into the mold and then the hot creature would. Would pop out. Dispensary. Really kind of cool. [00:31:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:59] Speaker A: I accidentally left mine in the back of our car and it melted in the. In like on this. You know, where sedans used to have, like, the back seat and then there was a shelf between the back seat and the window. Yeah, yeah, that's where it melted. [00:32:14] Speaker B: Okay. Was it carpeted? [00:32:18] Speaker A: I don't remember. I just remember that I got in trouble. I was very young. I would have been like five or six. [00:32:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it seems like an adult should have been monitoring the situation. [00:32:28] Speaker A: Absolutely, yes. [00:32:30] Speaker B: Or indeed should not have bought children things made of meltable wax. Of course, I had some of those. They were Disney characters. Oh, really? That would float in the bathtub. Oh, I don't know where they came from, but. [00:32:43] Speaker A: Huh. [00:32:44] Speaker B: Gee, they were swell. In the metal recovery room, Gold is putting Tyn and Nameless back together. It is a good thing he's programmed for surgery. Right? [00:32:57] Speaker A: But that leaves him only him and Mercury. Well, he goes to see Tina. [00:33:00] Speaker B: Goes to see Tina again. She's not having it. [00:33:03] Speaker A: I will not rest until he opens his eyes so I can see for myself that darling Doc is all right. Sorry I can't join you until then. You see, Listen, there's just two of us left. [00:33:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:13] Speaker A: And then, of course, Mercury says, spoken just like a female, Sam. [00:33:17] Speaker B: I'd just as soon not have Tino Long in our battle against Chemo. [00:33:21] Speaker A: Well, well, Gold disagrees. [00:33:23] Speaker B: Yes, she's a very valuable metal to have long in any fight. [00:33:27] Speaker A: Well, what happens now? Underneath the ocean. [00:33:30] Speaker B: Meanwhile, underneath the ocean. In the ocean, Chemo vents his rage against a submarine Turning it upside down, and it's sinking to the bottom. It's sending out an S.O.S. the. Where is the Statue of Liberty? It's in the east River. Right. Or is it a bay? [00:33:53] Speaker A: It's. It's in New York City. [00:33:56] Speaker B: I know. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Hudson River. Okay, Right. But there are two things. Like. Like New York is an island. [00:34:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:04] Speaker A: Right. [00:34:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:07] Speaker A: Remember from Wayne. Yeah. [00:34:12] Speaker B: My point is, are there submarines regularly? [00:34:15] Speaker A: There would. There could be, yes. [00:34:16] Speaker B: Okay. [00:34:16] Speaker A: Yes. Because remember that the Statue of Liberty welcomed immigrants in who were coming on ships. Sure. Yes. [00:34:24] Speaker B: Well, that was Ellis Island. They didn't stop at the Statue of Liberty. [00:34:28] Speaker A: Well, no, but, I mean, it's placed at a place you would see it as you were coming in from the ocean. [00:34:33] Speaker B: Okay. [00:34:33] Speaker A: Yes. [00:34:34] Speaker B: All right. The metal men pick up this SOS they dive down into the ocean. Gold turns himself into a. Oh, Kevin's butler's pulley. Is it the neighbors? [00:34:44] Speaker A: Kevin butler's barking at the neighbors, the walkers who just came by. [00:34:49] Speaker B: Gold turns himself into a chain of some kind so he can flip the sub over. And that is successful. And the sub takes off. But chemo is not done yet. [00:35:03] Speaker A: No. What's the next victim? [00:35:05] Speaker B: A bathysphere. [00:35:07] Speaker A: A bathysphere? [00:35:09] Speaker B: You know, it's one of those round things that people get in and sink to the bottom of the ocean for some reason. [00:35:14] Speaker A: Well, they have instruments attached, and they might take sediment samples and photographs or videography. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Well, this is New York City. It's probably a touristy thing. [00:35:25] Speaker A: Probably. [00:35:26] Speaker B: But chemo severs their air hose. [00:35:29] Speaker A: We could drown. [00:35:30] Speaker B: We're gonna suffocate long before we can be towed to the surface again. Oh, no. And then chemo just walks off, walks away. [00:35:37] Speaker A: It's like, oh, killed. [00:35:39] Speaker B: But here comes the jet away. Gold is going to form himself into an air hose so that the bathysphere can be safely towed back to the surface. [00:35:51] Speaker A: And then they pull the bathysphere up to the surface. [00:35:55] Speaker B: Yep. [00:35:56] Speaker A: Make sure that the humans are okay inside. And gold jumps back onto the. What's that called? [00:36:03] Speaker B: Jettaway. [00:36:05] Speaker A: Why do I want to call it a whirligig? [00:36:07] Speaker B: Thanks for going. You've saved our lives. [00:36:09] Speaker A: Hooray for gold again on the liquid man's trail. The two speed along, and mercury says, when are you going to give me a chance to show my stuff, Gold? [00:36:18] Speaker B: The first moment we spot chemo. And I decide you'll be most effective against him, so be patient, Mercury. [00:36:25] Speaker A: Meanwhile, keemo has surfaced and is emerging onto a beach. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Oh, dear. Like Godzilla coming out of the ocean. No one can stop him. The metal men observe Chemo from the Jetway. And Mercury decides this is his chance. He's not been ordered by Gold to do anything. [00:36:45] Speaker A: He acts very, very, very rashly. Very rashly. He throws himself at Chemo. And Chemo spews his noxious, disgusting chemicals at him and disperses mercury into his little globules of mercury. [00:37:02] Speaker B: Yes. Gold manages to gather up the globules. Mercury is still raring to go. Let me add him, because as we know, Mercury is the only metal that's liquid at room temperature. Yes. [00:37:16] Speaker A: So Chemo. I'm sorry. Gold grabs Mercury in a bucket that he makes of himself. [00:37:23] Speaker B: Yes. [00:37:23] Speaker A: Throws him inside the Jettaway. [00:37:28] Speaker B: It's right there on the page. [00:37:30] Speaker A: It's literally there. Jetta Way. And then what happens with Chemo? [00:37:36] Speaker B: Chemo grabs the Jetta Way and holds on. And that's just what Gold wanted. He wanted to get him away from the city and back to the Metalman lab. [00:37:44] Speaker A: Yeah. He's flying underneath the Jetaway now. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Gold's idea was to dump Keemo into the smelter, but it turns out Doc didn't light the fire because Doc's unconscious. Keemo just lets go and starts walking right into the headquarters. And you know what he wants in there? [00:38:01] Speaker A: Tina. [00:38:02] Speaker B: Tina. [00:38:04] Speaker A: His empress. [00:38:05] Speaker B: Yes. So Gold races after Keemo, yelling for Tina. He forms himself into a padlock around Keemo's lips so he can't spew his goo out. And Tina forms herself into a thin platinum wire and wraps herself all the way around Keemo. And now his mouth is locked, so he's gonna explode from the inside out. [00:38:33] Speaker A: How unfortunate. [00:38:34] Speaker B: He blows himself to bits. [00:38:36] Speaker A: He blows inwardly. Inwardly. [00:38:38] Speaker B: Yes. [00:38:38] Speaker A: But then the next panel. This is literally happening right outside the room. Yeah. Where Doc is recovering. [00:38:44] Speaker B: Sure. [00:38:44] Speaker A: It is a massive explosion. There's no damage from that. [00:38:48] Speaker B: Well, it does say inwardly, so maybe it's just drawn badly. [00:38:56] Speaker A: Okay. [00:38:56] Speaker B: I don't know. I didn't write or draw it. I would have made a different choice. Tina returns to Doc. And Doc's awake. I guess all the noise roused him. [00:39:08] Speaker A: You think? And in the metal recovery room, Lead, iron, Mercury, Tin, and nameless are standing there. [00:39:18] Speaker B: And they're all okay. [00:39:20] Speaker A: And Tin and Nameless have been recovered fully. [00:39:23] Speaker B: They say we're all okay. Now, Gold, what's next? [00:39:27] Speaker A: The next issue, he says. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. [00:39:31] Speaker B: Can you believe that? I can believe it. And I've got some astonishing news for you what? There is only one more issue of Metal Men. That is Gogo checked after this. [00:39:42] Speaker A: Wow. [00:39:43] Speaker B: I know. [00:39:45] Speaker A: Are we getting to the end of titles in this series? Oh, so we're getting to the end of this distinct run? [00:39:52] Speaker B: Yes. [00:39:53] Speaker A: Wow. [00:39:54] Speaker B: Well, Metalman is bi monthly, so. Okay, that's some of the explanation, but. [00:40:00] Speaker A: Wow. [00:40:01] Speaker B: Yeah. We only have about 100 episodes left to go, so we're really winding down. [00:40:10] Speaker A: Oh my gosh. I'm so grateful for the end of the semester. [00:40:13] Speaker B: Same girl. [00:40:14] Speaker A: Oh my gosh. Oh. We have no travel plans yet. Except to go to Columbus. [00:40:19] Speaker B: Yeah, right, right. [00:40:20] Speaker A: In. In May. [00:40:22] Speaker B: And the Four State Comic Con. [00:40:24] Speaker A: Oh, the Four State Comic Con. Exactly. [00:40:25] Speaker B: Hagerstown. Which may as well be a different city, because it is. [00:40:30] Speaker A: Yeah. I've got some work that I got to do this summer, but gosh. Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to think of. We don't really anything really exciting to. To talk about since last week. Right. I mean, it's just sort of lots of concerts. Lots of concerts and catching up with friends and. What? Do we have anything special planned next week? No, it's like finals week. [00:40:50] Speaker B: No, next week. I'm looking forward to only having one job. [00:40:54] Speaker A: Yes, indeed. And my schedule will slow down, which means I'll be making a little bit more music. Finally getting that damn recital together. [00:41:03] Speaker B: Maybe we can knock out all hundred episodes next week. Next week. [00:41:07] Speaker A: Maybe you can dream in another kind of dream. [00:41:11] Speaker B: You can find us on social media, Ogocheckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. And you can find us right back here next week with a humdinger of a couple of stories. [00:41:30] Speaker A: Oh, geez. What is it? [00:41:32] Speaker B: Dinosaur Island. [00:41:33] Speaker A: I love that. [00:41:34] Speaker B: And Scooter? [00:41:37] Speaker A: I don't love that. I'm in the same issue. [00:41:39] Speaker B: Would you love it if Scooter was on Dinosaur Island? [00:41:43] Speaker A: Only if Scooter gets eaten by dinosaurs does that happen. [00:41:45] Speaker B: Well, you'll have to tune in next week and find out. Bye. [00:41:55] Speaker A: We've been living in the dark can't help wondering why Wondering why so we're kicking up the hedge of grin Looking for the world to find in giving you a chance to look inside your mind you be thrown up into misery life not the way it used to be Looking at you like leaving it all behind.