Girl Power (Action Comics 347)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? [00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Are you with it? Yeah. [00:00:02] Speaker C: Okay, let's go. [00:00:04] Speaker A: You know what to do. [00:00:05] Speaker C: The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. [00:00:11] Speaker B: Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker C: Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this TR Trippy Tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This Week, Action Comics 347. Cover date March 1967 cover price $0.25. Cover artists Kurt Swan and George Klein. Edited by Mort Wisinger. Featuring Supergirl's Super Boyfriends written by Jerry Siegel, art by Jim Mooney and the Secret Origin of Supergirl's Super Horse written by Leo Dorfman, art by Jim Mooney and the Son of Bizarro written by Otto Binder, art by Wayne Boring and Stan Kay. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. If you're walking in the shadows? Then it's time that you get wise? I just forget about your troubles? And open up your eyes? [00:01:30] Speaker B: When you wear a smile? [00:01:32] Speaker C: The world will shout? Hooray. You gotta turn on the sunshine? You're gonna push the blues away. Phantom Girl delivers a small Supergirl statuette to Supergirl as a gift. The statue contains particles of red kryptonite, which cause Supergirl to develop a kiss that grants superpowers. Before realizing what has happened, Supergirl has kissed her mother, Dick Malvern and Jarrow the merboy. Then Supergirl learns that Comet, the super horse, is telepathic. Comet communicates his history to her, explaining that he was once a centaur named Byron. Finally, the original Bizarro and Bizarro Lois Lane have a child which does not share their Bizarro appearance. When the other Bizarros learn of this, the they try and force the couple to destroy the Bizarro baby. Instead, Bizarro takes the child and hides it in a satellite. However, when he returns, the satellite is gone, having returned to Earth. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with Dr. Husband and a special guest to explain everything. Always with your kisses? Won't you come to my arms, sweet darling? And stay always late with your kisses? Why, oh why do you want to do me this way? Todd, her husband. Yes. There's another person in the room. I know. I'm sorry. Oh, it's Chuck. [00:03:23] Speaker A: So happy you're here. [00:03:25] Speaker C: Hello, Folks, it's Chuck Content, creator of our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. It's a crossover episode and it's our 300th episode. And it's an 80 page giant. And it's my birthday. [00:03:41] Speaker A: It's all those things. [00:03:43] Speaker C: Was my birthday yesterday? [00:03:44] Speaker A: Yesterday, yeah. Yeah. [00:03:46] Speaker B: 300 episodes. [00:03:48] Speaker C: I know, right? [00:03:48] Speaker A: Believe it. [00:03:49] Speaker B: Yeah. I've loved everyone. Except for that one where you said Earth 2 was stupid. [00:03:56] Speaker A: I have let go of some things over the year, like the Earth 2 and the multiple Earths thing. I know that really doesn't really bother me that much anymore. And famously, Flash's twisty arms. I'm okay with that now, thanks to. [00:04:08] Speaker B: Bob and my hard work. [00:04:10] Speaker C: Yes, you have. [00:04:11] Speaker A: I can learn things. [00:04:14] Speaker C: Yes. I spent my birthday in a secured military facility without access to my phone. So that was fun. [00:04:24] Speaker A: You were in training? [00:04:26] Speaker C: Yes. [00:04:26] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:26] Speaker B: Detained by ice. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:30] Speaker C: They're hiring, I hear. I look into it. [00:04:34] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:04:35] Speaker C: They've done away with the age limit and physical limitations, so I'm eschewing anybody. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Up off the street just to repress people. [00:04:42] Speaker C: Just to pick people up off the street. [00:04:44] Speaker A: Right. They'll hire anyone off the street just to pick up people off the street. [00:04:47] Speaker B: Yes. [00:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:49] Speaker C: Listener, if you're unfamiliar with our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra, we listen to orchestral scores of nerd movies and comment. [00:05:01] Speaker B: And sometimes argue. Like when we do Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. [00:05:05] Speaker C: The best. Indiana Jones. [00:05:07] Speaker B: That was a great episode. I urge you to tune in for a spirited conversation. Dr. Husband came in swinging. [00:05:15] Speaker A: I am often the butt of jokes. [00:05:19] Speaker C: But one of the segments on Nerd Orchestra is a quiz which we're going to do right now. [00:05:25] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:05:27] Speaker C: I will orchestrate the quiz. No pun intended. [00:05:31] Speaker A: Oh, do I get to sing the song? [00:05:33] Speaker C: No. [00:05:33] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:33] Speaker C: You have to choose the composer, the decade, and, if possible, identify the movie. [00:05:42] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:43] Speaker C: Are you ready? [00:05:44] Speaker A: Yes. [00:05:44] Speaker C: Chuck. [00:05:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:45] Speaker C: Decade. [00:08:46] Speaker A: 80S. [00:08:49] Speaker C: Composer John Williams. No, no, no. [00:08:55] Speaker B: John Williams would never stoop to such silliness. [00:08:58] Speaker C: What is silly about it, I'd like to know. [00:09:02] Speaker B: Well, we can get into that after we finish the quiz. [00:09:04] Speaker C: Oh, okay. Film Supergirl. You knew that. [00:09:10] Speaker A: I did, yes. [00:09:12] Speaker C: Well, that's not fair. [00:09:14] Speaker B: But we did not mention this. The composer. [00:09:17] Speaker C: No, we did not. [00:09:18] Speaker B: It's by Jerry Goldsmith. [00:09:21] Speaker C: Who's he? [00:09:22] Speaker B: So we reviewed Jerry Goldsmith on the Nerd Orchestra podcast where we did the Mummy, the Brendan Fraser Mummy film. He was a very popular, very accomplished composer. Born in 1929, died at 2004, cancer at age 75. Was one of the most respected and influential film composers in Hollywood history. Known for bold experimentation, emotional depth and immense versatility. Something that we went on and on. You had a lot to say about that when we did the Mummy. [00:09:58] Speaker C: I did. [00:10:00] Speaker A: Thank you, Chat GPT. [00:10:03] Speaker B: He became fascinated with music after seeing spellbound at age 13. He studied music theory and composition at University of Southern California under Miklos Rosa. He also studied piano with Jacob Gimple, in composition with Mario Castello. [00:10:22] Speaker A: Castle, Lenovo, Tedesco. [00:10:24] Speaker B: Okay. And both renowned classical musicians. In the 50s, he began working at CBS Radio, creating music for live broadcast rated dramas. Transitioned to TV and he composed early TV series such as Twilight Zone. [00:10:41] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, I've heard of that. [00:10:45] Speaker B: His movies include Planet of the Apes, Patton, Alien, Poltergeist, Gremlins, Total Recall, Basic Instinct, Air Force One, First Night, King Solomon's Mind, Logan's Run, man from U.N.C.L.E, 1964 TV show, and Rambo. The guy has his genre chops. But the top three choices in my playlist are his work on the Mummy, 13th Warrior and the Shadow. [00:11:14] Speaker C: You didn't mention Supergirl. [00:11:16] Speaker B: I didn't? I didn't mention Supergirl. [00:11:18] Speaker C: According to Wikipedia, it is. The score of Supergirl has been praised by critics as one of the few redeeming qualities of the film. [00:11:27] Speaker B: I disagree. [00:11:28] Speaker A: They didn't ask me. [00:11:30] Speaker C: No. [00:11:30] Speaker B: What do you think? [00:11:31] Speaker A: It's a film that features Hart Bachner. [00:11:37] Speaker B: I thought you were going to launch in the criticism of the theme. [00:11:41] Speaker C: No. [00:11:41] Speaker B: You got like, the heart. Eyes. [00:11:43] Speaker A: Oh, God. Hart Bachner, Canadian actor. [00:11:46] Speaker C: And Faye Dunaway. [00:11:47] Speaker A: Faye Dunaway. [00:11:48] Speaker C: Oh, she's. And Brenda Vaccaro. [00:11:50] Speaker A: Brenda Vaccaro, of course. Helen Slater. [00:11:52] Speaker C: Well, she's, you know. [00:11:53] Speaker A: No. [00:11:54] Speaker C: Fine. [00:11:54] Speaker A: But Hart Bauer plays her love interest. [00:11:56] Speaker B: No. Peter o'. Toole. We're not going to. [00:11:58] Speaker A: Oh, God. Whatever. [00:12:01] Speaker C: Peter, Supergirl. Opening night, Thanksgiving Eve, 1984, in Chicago, which is where the film takes place, mostly. Except for when it's on Argo City in the Phantom Zone. [00:12:16] Speaker B: Nice. [00:12:18] Speaker C: Yes. [00:12:19] Speaker B: So the film premiered on 1121, 1984, and was directed by Jeannant Swores. I don't know how to say that name. [00:12:28] Speaker C: He sounds foreign. [00:12:30] Speaker B: Helen Slater. Faye Dunaway. Peter O'. Toole. Mark McClure shows up as Jimmy Olsen. Yes. Christopher Reeve was slated to do a cameo, but backed out at the last minute due to scheduling conflicts. The soundtrack is. [00:12:44] Speaker C: What, are you reading his research? Just leave your own research. [00:12:49] Speaker B: I did research. [00:12:50] Speaker A: You didn't mention Hart Bauchner at all. [00:12:51] Speaker C: I did not. [00:12:55] Speaker A: He plays her love interest. [00:12:57] Speaker B: Yeah. There's only one person on the planet, and not our listener, who would know who Art Bogner is fine. The soundtrack, as Dr. Bob pointed out to me, is currently unavailable on Apple Music, Spotify and Amazon, so must be in moratorium for the moment. [00:13:15] Speaker C: Well, it was released on vinyl and CD in 1985 and a more complete version was later re released by Silva screen in 1993, but they're all out of print apparently. [00:13:26] Speaker B: Yeah, you said that Amazon currently has a used copy for $134 of the CT. [00:13:31] Speaker C: Yes. I did not purchase it. [00:13:34] Speaker B: I had purchased it and burned it to my library previously, so I already had it. [00:13:40] Speaker C: Oh wait, here's CDs you want.com has a 2 CD special edition for 16.99. [00:13:48] Speaker B: Nice. So, Dr. Husband, when did you first see this movie? [00:13:54] Speaker A: I don't remember. I didn't see it in the theater. I would have been 13 years old and I didn't have money to see movies at that time in the theater. So I think I probably saw it with you, Bob. [00:14:06] Speaker C: Probably, yeah. When I bought the dvd, which has I think four different editions of the film on it. [00:14:14] Speaker A: Now I think perhaps I'm wrong. I might have seen it later on because we rented movies often in our. [00:14:19] Speaker C: Family, so I might have seen it on. Remember renting movies, Chuck? [00:14:23] Speaker B: I saw it alone on a Saturday afternoon via Betamax in 1985. [00:14:31] Speaker A: Wow. [00:14:32] Speaker B: And was thoroughly unimpressed and had no opinion or memory. It just kind of washed right out. [00:14:39] Speaker C: How could you be unimpressed? [00:14:40] Speaker B: I saw it again in 1989 during my second semester of college when I wrote a paper on the differences between Superman and Supergirl. It was a class about cinema and the sexism in it and how differently Supergirl is portrayed per Superman. [00:15:04] Speaker C: Well, you know, it was the 80s. [00:15:06] Speaker B: Yes, the movie was caught up in a nebulous era for DC Comics where several of its licenses were active, such as Kenner's Superpowers action figures. In this Supergirl movie, they reflected the classic versions of the characters that fan had known for the last 25 years. In fact, at the time this movie was released, Hal Jordan had retired as Green Lantern and been replaced by the black character Jon Stewart. The Justice League of America, as we had known, had been disbanded and replaced by what would become known as the Detroit era Justice League. And longtime Batman partner Robin had quit being Robin and was now known as Nightwing. [00:15:44] Speaker A: Nightwing. [00:15:44] Speaker B: None of these changes were reflected in Kenner's Superpowers line or the majority of the licenses going on at the time. This movie instituted a change in Supergirl's costume in the comics, adding a red skirt And a red headband. The movie folks pushed the headband when DC creative teams didn't want it and then the movie ended up dropping the headband idea while the comics character still had it. While the Supergirl movie came out In November of 1984, as I mentioned, Supergirl had seen the cancellation of her own title some months before, with the last issue of her series hitting newsstands on June 21st of 1984. When the character met her death on July 4th of 1985 in Crisis on Earth number seven, just eight months after the movie. It's hard to imagine the movie having any long term effects on DC's plans for the character. Seems that they had already written her off in their ideas that they had. [00:16:43] Speaker C: For Superman until 2025 when she's coming back as a female foul mouth little hussy. Hates her dog and her cousin. [00:16:55] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:16:57] Speaker A: Well, I just want to say that In Hart Bauchner's IMDb bio, there's no mention whatsoever of Supergirl, though he does appear on the IMDb cast list. And of course I knew him to be in that movie. But you would know him from his role in die hard in 1988 as his. His opposite Bruce Willis and that would earn him pop culture status. He was. He was. He played Harry in that and he was bestowed the number two spot on Maxim's the Greatest Movie Sleaze Balls of All Time list. [00:17:31] Speaker B: Nice. Can you quote him from that movie? [00:17:34] Speaker A: Nope. [00:17:36] Speaker B: Hans Booby. I'm your white knight. [00:17:42] Speaker C: Hart Bochner's father, Lloyd Bochner, was the also very famous actor. Most notably, he was the character that suffered a heart attack while having sex with Joan Collins on Dynasty. [00:17:54] Speaker A: Oh. [00:17:55] Speaker C: Which is a famous trope in television nowadays, just with Joan Collins. Hmm. No. Old men having heart attacks while they're having sex with their young Collins. [00:18:07] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:18:11] Speaker B: So what do we think about this particular piece? [00:18:15] Speaker C: I don't mind it. It's harmless. [00:18:17] Speaker A: It sounds like a. Oh God, what do you call it? Retrograde of something more famous that. [00:18:26] Speaker C: Yes, it does. [00:18:28] Speaker B: It sounds. [00:18:32] Speaker A: Sounds like it is a retrograde or we would flip it like it was a famous piece that was just turned upside down and recomposed for this. It sounds like something from Battlestar Galactica. [00:18:46] Speaker C: Yeah, I wouldn't. I've seen Supergirl more than once and until I pulled up this sound clip, I would not have known it was from Supergirl. [00:18:57] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:18:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:18:59] Speaker B: To me it always sounds a little silly, like it's trying too hard. Like the composer is nervous under John Williams. Superman theme. [00:19:09] Speaker C: Yes. [00:19:09] Speaker B: And there are some distracting elements to it. I feel like it's almost there, but it never quite achieves the majesty that it's supposed to be representing. And it has these weird sound effects in it. Can you guys. Did you guys pick that up? [00:19:27] Speaker C: I did at the very end. I thought maybe that was when the, you know, the sulkins, the credits were. [00:19:33] Speaker B: Flying out at you from the screen. It's all through the soundtrack. Whenever they, they, they do this particular theme, which is the Supergirl theme in the soundtrack, they have these sharp angles of non music going through it at what would be the. The penultimate swelling. [00:19:54] Speaker A: I think it's interesting, interesting that you said that about the score because unlike John Williams, this starts with the. Just real lobed them. [00:20:05] Speaker C: Right. [00:20:05] Speaker A: And you got that. I think it starts with brass. [00:20:12] Speaker B: Straight into John Williams. [00:20:14] Speaker A: I'm comparing the two scores, the quality. But like Superman starts small and gets big. Yes, this gets big right away. It's everything. [00:20:22] Speaker C: It's strings. [00:20:23] Speaker A: It's everything right away. And there was no buildup right into it. It sounds like. It sounds like something out of. After the score has introduced the main theme. The main theme is score, but the full orchestra right away. And. And that's why I think you use the words. It sounds like it's trying to be something bigger than it is. [00:20:39] Speaker B: Yeah, it's kind of upsetting that it is. Jerry Goldsmith, he as a composer is hit or miss with me. Like, I love the certain soundtracks from him and I certainly respect him, but this whole thing, I listened to it the other day when I heard that we were going to be doing this podcast, the whole soundtrack, and God love. [00:21:05] Speaker C: You. [00:21:08] Speaker B: It was kind of a chore. It's kind of a chore. A little bit of headache inducing. And I'm ashamed to say that the reason I own it is my collector mentality of having to have a playlist for every superhero movie and TV show that's ever been done, which I don't know is an attainable goal anymore. But back when I bought this soundtrack, it was certainly an attainable goal, so. [00:21:38] Speaker C: Well, friends, we're not here to talk about music all day. No, we've got an 80 page giant to look at. [00:21:45] Speaker B: How does that song go? [00:21:47] Speaker C: It's an 80 page giant. 80 page giant. It's a comic that's got 80 pages. An 80 page giant. An 80 page giant. And guess who's the star of this 80 page giant? It's Supergirl. Supergirl is Action Comics number 347, a Supergirl 80 page giant. [00:22:11] Speaker B: And a heck of an 80 page giant at that. [00:22:14] Speaker C: I'll say. [00:22:15] Speaker B: This one had some screaming doctor Husbands to cross over to Kitchmas. [00:22:22] Speaker C: Yes. [00:22:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:24] Speaker C: How many times did you have to nap while reading this? [00:22:28] Speaker A: Just once. But the. The Bizarro. It was the Bizarro stories that induced a nap for me. [00:22:34] Speaker C: I just couldn't. [00:22:35] Speaker A: I was so angry. I was so angry reading it and all the stupid things. It makes me angry that Linda Danvers had to live in an orphanage, that he drops her off there in the first place. Not in this, not in this comic. But like he had. She came and he met her and then he puts her in an orphanage. Right, right. And then we'll get to it later on the story. Maybe even angrier about the whole baby and the robots and stuff like that. But like, just puts her in an orphanage and then she has to wear this wig over her hair, you know, I mean, imagine having to wear a wig all the time. [00:23:05] Speaker C: Well, it was the 60s, gals wore wigs all the time. [00:23:07] Speaker A: He gets to wear glasses and she has to wear a wig. [00:23:10] Speaker B: Not just a wig, but a wig with pigtails. [00:23:12] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Not even a ponytail. Pigtail. [00:23:16] Speaker A: And she can't be seen as Supergirl when she's in. [00:23:20] Speaker C: Of course not. She's his secret weapon. [00:23:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:24] Speaker B: So in the letters pages of action comics where Supergirl was appearing in the 60s, there was a big debate over changing Supergirl's hairstyle. And then Jim Mooney did a whole page splash of different hairstyles and the readers could write in and vote which one they wanted. And in late 61, she finally got adopted by the Danvers and she changed her hair to something that wasn't completely ludicrous. But the letters are hilarious. They're like no self respected 15 year old girl would be in pigtails. [00:24:02] Speaker C: All right, ready? [00:24:03] Speaker A: Dive in. [00:24:04] Speaker C: I'm ready to dive in to tell you that one day Supergirl, the most dynamic girl in the universe, gets the surprise of her life when both her boyfriends, Dick Malvern of Midvale and Jaro of sunken Atlantis, gained fantastic powers as great as her own. I would argue that Jarrow already had powers because he's a merman. By the way, have you heard of mermaiding? [00:24:34] Speaker A: No. [00:24:35] Speaker C: It's busy executives who, for stress relief, put on mermaid tails. Men and women. And they gather together in pods so that they can swim together in their mermaid. No, in pools, public pools. They put their mermaid and merman tails on. Swim around. [00:24:57] Speaker B: I'm hitting Etsy. The three of us start this tomorrow. [00:25:00] Speaker C: Okay. I'M in. [00:25:01] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:25:07] Speaker C: Where was I? How did they get. [00:25:09] Speaker A: I thought that the qualification for being one of these people had. You had to be a busy executive. Which none of us. [00:25:15] Speaker C: It is. There was an article in the Washington Post about it. [00:25:17] Speaker A: God. Mermaiding. [00:25:18] Speaker C: How all the busy people in D.C. are relieving their stress by mermaiding. It's like furries, except you don't have to cover your face or torso, apparently, I guess. [00:25:29] Speaker A: So. [00:25:32] Speaker C: How did they get the powers? What happens when they use them? You'll find the astounding answers to these questions. The Amazing Tale of Supergirl Super Boyfriends. [00:25:43] Speaker B: Supergirl super boyfriends. [00:25:44] Speaker C: Well done. [00:25:46] Speaker A: That's how we do it. [00:25:47] Speaker C: On this. Now, these 80 page giants are composed of reprints, so you'll find these. This is from the time when she was adopted. [00:25:54] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, we get all living with. [00:25:55] Speaker C: The dance snapshots of her life with a better haircut. Yes, early one day in Midvale, as Linda Lee Danvers, who is secretly Supergirl, shops with a friend. [00:26:07] Speaker A: Do you like my new Supergirl hairdo, Linda? [00:26:09] Speaker C: Yes, Alice. Well, look at this. Now that the world knows that Supergirl exists, thousands of girls are imitating the style of her blonde hair. Beneath this dark masquerading wig, Supergirl has become a rage. [00:26:25] Speaker A: There are toys and games and everything. [00:26:28] Speaker C: Among other things, there are Supergirl games and toys. And all the royalties are donated to charity. That's not fair. [00:26:34] Speaker B: I want Supergirl toys. [00:26:36] Speaker A: The Girl of Steel is adored by everyone. Supergirl fan clubs have been formed everywhere. And even, as we now see, within the miniature bottle city of Kandor, inside the Arctic Fortress of Solitude. Oh, I thought that was. It's crazy, right? Kandor? [00:26:55] Speaker C: What's wrong with that? Well, Chuck, you probably have a spreadsheet about this. Is this from a point in history where Supergirl's Krypton parents have been found to be alive and are living in Kandor? [00:27:11] Speaker B: I don't believe so. [00:27:12] Speaker A: Okay, not yet. [00:27:15] Speaker C: Spoiler alert. Her Krypton parents are alive and they're going to come live in Kandor eventually. [00:27:19] Speaker B: But this is post introduction of Lesla Lar. [00:27:24] Speaker C: Yes, she's an evil Kandorian. Later, in response to super ventriloquistic instructions from Superman, Linda changes to Supergirl and flies off on patrol. [00:27:41] Speaker B: Who needs an iPhone when you've got super ventriloquism, right? [00:27:45] Speaker A: Yeah, it's amazing. [00:27:47] Speaker C: She flies home, she switches back to Linda Danvers, and in her bedroom, where she has a collection of figurines of the legion of Superheroes, super powered teens from the 30th century, who have inducted Supergirl into their ranks. [00:28:07] Speaker B: So I, like you, love the Legion of Superheroes an obscene amount. And I love. Whenever the statues appear. [00:28:15] Speaker C: Yes. [00:28:16] Speaker B: And I guess with delight and surprise, whenever the Legion appears in these early stories. [00:28:22] Speaker C: Yes. [00:28:23] Speaker B: And this pissed me off. [00:28:26] Speaker A: Well, because of what you gave her. [00:28:27] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:28] Speaker C: Well, first of all, I have to wonder, why does Linda keep these on her bureau? Because the world at large doesn't know about the Legion of Superheroes, do they? If someone, one of her friends, Alice, that she was shopping with, should come to her bedroom to study. [00:28:45] Speaker A: What if Alice is. [00:28:46] Speaker C: Oh, Linda. What are these? I've never heard of. [00:28:48] Speaker A: These are statues of the Legion of Superheroes who exist in the future. [00:28:53] Speaker B: Maybe she has a jury rigged trophy, like in Spider man and His Amazing Friends, where they dip the trophy and your bedroom changes to normal. [00:29:03] Speaker C: Maybe. [00:29:03] Speaker A: So there's a prearranged signal and so the statue is glowing. [00:29:06] Speaker C: Well, one of the statues is glowing. It's Phantom Girl. [00:29:10] Speaker A: So. And she zings. She materializes. [00:29:13] Speaker C: Gas. [00:29:13] Speaker A: Hello, Supergirl. The time projector which sent me here from the future is not working properly. So I can only remain in your time for a few moments. And so she speaks very quickly as she gives her something. I admire you tremendously. [00:29:25] Speaker C: Here. [00:29:25] Speaker A: Please accept the small figurine of you as Supergirl. I made it myself. [00:29:30] Speaker C: So she's a. What do you call those people that make their own action figures? [00:29:37] Speaker A: She's a Chuck. [00:29:39] Speaker B: A customizer. [00:29:41] Speaker C: Customizer. [00:29:42] Speaker B: You know, I just missed a trick. I should have made a little statuette of Dr. Bob for his birthday. [00:29:48] Speaker A: You should have. [00:29:48] Speaker B: It glowed when I wanted to talk to him. [00:29:53] Speaker A: So, Supergirl says, thank you. Obviously. Linda says, thank you, Phantom Girl. I'll add it to my collection of Legionnaire figurines. [00:30:00] Speaker C: It was so sweet of you. [00:30:01] Speaker A: Bye. Because Phantom Girl vanishes. She vanished off. [00:30:07] Speaker C: But look at this. Linda's tingling all over. [00:30:10] Speaker A: Tingling all over. [00:30:10] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:30:11] Speaker A: That tingling occurs whenever I contact. Red Kryptonite, which always affects Superman and me. [00:30:15] Speaker B: Unpredictably. [00:30:17] Speaker C: Listener, if you're not familiar with the many types of Kryptonite, there's Green Kryptonite, the most common form, which is deadly to all Kryptonians. Red, which causes unpredictable effects. Blue, which we'll get to later. [00:30:37] Speaker B: Boy, will we. [00:30:38] Speaker C: White, which kills all plant life. And gold, which robs Kryptonians of their powers forever. [00:30:45] Speaker B: There's also Jewel Kryptonite. [00:30:47] Speaker C: Yeah? What does it do? [00:30:49] Speaker B: It allows Phantom Zone folks to affect our world in some weird way. [00:30:53] Speaker C: Does that include Phantom Zone cats? [00:30:57] Speaker B: It could if they could focus their thoughts. So we'll never know. [00:31:01] Speaker A: So Linda says. Oh, how terrible. When Phantom Girl made this figurine of me, she must not have realized she was forming out of red Kryptonite. [00:31:08] Speaker C: How? What? How would she not realize that this is. What is she, an idiot? [00:31:14] Speaker B: I admire you tremendously, but sabotaging your. [00:31:20] Speaker C: Entire life, I didn't bother to investigate. [00:31:23] Speaker A: I come from the future to give you this figurine, which will definitely alter things that happen in your life. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I was making out a red Kryptonite. Because I'm an idiot. Because of all the substances that are available to anyone on Earth, Red Kryptonite was the very thing that I should make the statuette out of. [00:31:39] Speaker C: Yeah. She didn't go down to Michael's crafts and buy red Kryptonite. She had to buy. Go find. In the 30th century. It's probably only in a museum. Plus, she robbed a museum. [00:31:51] Speaker B: When you're customizing action figures, you just don't go out to the front yard and say, oh, here's a rock and some clay. Let me use this. [00:31:59] Speaker A: Let me use this. She's Phantom Girl. [00:32:01] Speaker C: She doesn't. [00:32:01] Speaker A: I mean, she doesn't have, like, super strength, does she? No. [00:32:05] Speaker B: The only plausible explanation is that Jo was interested in Supergirl. [00:32:11] Speaker C: Oh, Joe. Na. Ultra Boy. Phantom Girl's boyfriend. [00:32:16] Speaker B: Yeah. And Tina was getting a little. I admire you tremendously. Bitch. [00:32:24] Speaker A: An hour later, as her boyfriend, Dick Malvern, calls to take her to the Midvale Museum of Natural History, she kisses her foster mother goodbye. Okay, well, nothing unusual has happened to me, so for once, red Kryptonite hasn't affected me. Okay, so then they go to the museum, right? [00:32:40] Speaker C: Yes. [00:32:40] Speaker A: Guy says, the photographer says, hold it. I love this. I love this. What? He says, hold it. [00:32:47] Speaker C: Smile. [00:32:48] Speaker A: Click. When the newspapers print this picture of the two of you, it will prove how popular this museum is with teenagers. [00:32:55] Speaker C: Thanks a lot. [00:32:57] Speaker B: Those are D.C. editors of the early 60s. Their thumb on the pulse of culture. [00:33:04] Speaker C: A little later, they come upon a Kpnum totem pole. According to an old Indian legend, whoever kisses before this totem pole will be happy forever. So they kiss. [00:33:19] Speaker A: So Dick says, shall we? [00:33:20] Speaker C: She goes, yes, let's. And they kiss on the lips. [00:33:25] Speaker B: I don't know about your copy, but my copy of this issue, all the pictures of Dick Malvern, Dr. Husband has gone through and added little Hark Bottner whiskers to the face. [00:33:39] Speaker A: So she says, so the kiss. And then she goes, well, I gotta leave. [00:33:44] Speaker C: Bye. It's time to leave. She has to resume her patrol. [00:33:49] Speaker A: Yes. Per her Super Patrol acoustic directive. [00:33:54] Speaker B: Well, they both want to keep kissing. Yes, as is made evident in their. [00:33:59] Speaker A: Thought, but she doesn't. So she changes into her Supergirl identity and takes off. [00:34:04] Speaker C: Soon she is summoned by Lori lamaris, Superman's college sweetheart, who is a mermaid and now lives in Atlantis with her doctor husband. [00:34:14] Speaker A: It sounds like this. [00:34:16] Speaker C: Come on. Come. [00:34:21] Speaker A: There is an emergency in Atlantis. [00:34:27] Speaker B: So she's talking like that, even though it's telepathic contact. [00:34:32] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. It's going through water. [00:34:33] Speaker A: It's going through water. Don't question it. I know how it works. [00:34:37] Speaker B: We'll quote you saying, don't question it during the next story. [00:34:42] Speaker C: It seems that a surface world battleship was sunk during war maneuvers. And in a few moments, it will fall on and destroy a shrine honoring Atlantis, greatest heroes of the past. One time I was driving home another. [00:34:59] Speaker A: Museum, by the way. [00:35:00] Speaker C: Yeah. I was driving home from Wheeling, West Virginia, and I decided to take country roads. And I was going down a country road and there was a sign that said, palace of Gold, four miles turn here. And I turned and it was this little windy road, and I'll be damned if there wasn't a palace of gold at the end of it. I've been there and it looks just like this Atlantean shrine. It's a Hare Krishna temple in the hills of West Virginia. Yeah, yeah. [00:35:28] Speaker B: Did you do some studying with the monks there? [00:35:30] Speaker C: I couldn't find any live people there. I walked around and around. [00:35:35] Speaker B: It was scattered with dead bodies. [00:35:36] Speaker C: No, no, nothing. No, there was a gift shop, but no one was attending. [00:35:42] Speaker B: Did you try to steal it? [00:35:45] Speaker C: The palace of Gold? Yes. No. [00:35:47] Speaker A: He didn't have a shrink ray. So with only split seconds to act, Supergirl streams at the huge warship and tosses it away. She goes there. [00:35:59] Speaker C: Off you go. [00:36:00] Speaker A: You'll land miles away in an unpopulated spot where you can do no harm. [00:36:04] Speaker C: I hope there's no un blown up ordinance on that ship that might destroy the seabed. [00:36:12] Speaker A: Well, apparently we don't have to think about that. It's just gone out of sight, out of mind. There you go. [00:36:17] Speaker C: Well, now Jaro is here. He has long admired the Girl of Steel. And he approaches and announces that, like me, it's his birthday. [00:36:28] Speaker A: And he asks for a kiss. And she just kissed Dick Malvern. She's gonna kiss Jarrow. [00:36:35] Speaker C: On the lips. [00:36:36] Speaker A: On the lips. [00:36:37] Speaker C: Although this is chaste a chaste kiss, Dick Malvern. It looks like open mouth. [00:36:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:44] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:36:46] Speaker C: Later, Supergirl returns to her Midvale home and changes back to Linda and offers to clean the house with her superpowers, which she could do quickly, but it turns out Mrs. Danvers is sweeping the floor at super speed. [00:37:01] Speaker A: I want you to remember this, Mrs. Danvers says to her, because Supergirl offers to clean the house. She says, no, I enjoy doing it myself. I want you to remember that because it's something she says later on that infuriates me. [00:37:13] Speaker C: Okay. [00:37:14] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:16] Speaker C: She's super strong. She picks up the piano to dust underneath it. She could use her X ray vision to see inside the piano. How is this possible? [00:37:24] Speaker A: Well, if at that very instant, miles away, Dick Malvern loses control of his car, he says to himself, the brakes gave way. [00:37:32] Speaker C: Choke. [00:37:33] Speaker A: This is it. I am going to die. Now, I've been in an accident on my motorcycle before, and I've had that thought once before when I was wrecking my motorcycle. That's it. I'm gonna die. Yeah. [00:37:47] Speaker C: Why didn't you just jump off the vehicle with your superpowers like Dick Mallord does? [00:37:52] Speaker A: The motorcycle and rolled in the median and injured my back in a way that I never quite got over, but yes, yes. What he does, though, is he just jumps right out of the car and lands on his feet. [00:38:02] Speaker C: The car lands on his feet? [00:38:03] Speaker B: But you're still riding motorcycles. [00:38:05] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:38:06] Speaker C: The car's totaled, but Dick's unharmed. And later, Linda looks through the open window and sees someone flying through the air in her direction. It's Dick Malvern. It isn't a bird, it isn't a plane. It's Dick Malvern. [00:38:21] Speaker B: And he has gas. [00:38:25] Speaker C: Just waiting. [00:38:27] Speaker A: So she says to her mother's mother. [00:38:30] Speaker C: Well, adopted, adopted mother, yes, after kissing. [00:38:33] Speaker A: You, I kissed Dick for good luck at the museum. Gasp. I see the answer now. The red kryptonite figurine I was exposed to had a delayed effect on me. It has given me the ability to make others super with a kryptonite kiss. A kryptonite kiss. [00:38:45] Speaker C: I better get back to the museum and kiss everyone I can. [00:38:51] Speaker A: He goes, hi, Linda. [00:38:52] Speaker C: Watch this. [00:38:52] Speaker A: Of course, his. [00:38:54] Speaker C: He does have gas. He's got a cloud coming out of. [00:38:57] Speaker A: His butt from the friction of flying. Oh, yeah. [00:39:03] Speaker B: Just a party pooper. [00:39:06] Speaker C: Who, me? [00:39:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:07] Speaker C: Are you kidding? [00:39:07] Speaker A: At this rate, someone's got to keep this story moving along. [00:39:10] Speaker C: Oh, God. All right. She summons Dick inside because his clothes are burning off. And she whispers to her mother, don't tell Dick. You have Superpowers, too. Because that would give away my identity as Supergirl. Dick has a surprise for Linda. He shows her that a red hot boiling pot on the stove doesn't hurt her. [00:39:38] Speaker B: Doesn't hurt him. [00:39:39] Speaker C: Or her. [00:39:40] Speaker A: Or her. He burns her. [00:39:42] Speaker C: You're super like me. You want to know why? My theory is, when we touched that meteor at the museum and the photographer's flashbulb went off, the bulb's light rays plus radiation from the meteor united and altered the chemistry of our bodies, making us super. That checks out. [00:40:00] Speaker B: Indeed. [00:40:01] Speaker C: For sure. [00:40:01] Speaker B: In Dick's defense, there's nothing I've read in comics that would make me doubt this. [00:40:05] Speaker C: No, no. [00:40:06] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:40:09] Speaker C: So now that I'm as mighty as Superman and you're as powerful as Supergirl, let's have some super fun. Fun. [00:40:16] Speaker A: Then she says, because she's acting like she doesn't know what superpowers are. [00:40:19] Speaker C: Okay. [00:40:19] Speaker A: But I'm a little afraid. So up hurdles the super duo. They fly over the rainbow. And she says. He says, do you want to look for a pot of gold? She goes, ah, that silly superstition. You know it, Dick. Flying this high is frightening. She's trying to put on a good act. Then they romp and they do some. What do they do? They bust through a haystack. [00:40:42] Speaker C: That's a mountain. [00:40:42] Speaker A: Oh, a mountain. [00:40:45] Speaker C: Well, she's a sensible girl. So she gets him back on the ground and says it might be wise for us to stay put for a while and take it easy. What if our superpowers wore off at a bad time? Like when we're flying through mountains? [00:40:56] Speaker A: He says, maybe you've got something. [00:40:58] Speaker C: See you later, Linda. [00:40:59] Speaker A: But he doesn't listen to her. [00:41:01] Speaker C: Now she suddenly remembers that she also kissed Jarrow. And she uses her X ray vision to view the bottom of the sea, where she sees Jarrow lifting up a sea tortoise. Which I think he could probably do under the water anyway. Right? [00:41:22] Speaker B: Plus, it could be an aggressive tickle. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. [00:41:29] Speaker A: He might be in a husbandry program. [00:41:31] Speaker B: Right. [00:41:32] Speaker A: You know, sea turtle husbandry program. Therefore, he might be harvesting. [00:41:35] Speaker B: Someone's got to do it. [00:41:37] Speaker C: Is he, like, Laurie's little brother or something? Or is he just a regular Atlantean? Tina. Or an Atlantean? [00:41:45] Speaker B: He can't be Laurie's little brother, because Laurie's little sister is interested in Jarrow, even though Jarrow only has eyes for Cara. [00:41:52] Speaker C: See? You're so wise. [00:41:54] Speaker A: Changing to the dynamic identity of Supergirl. [00:41:56] Speaker B: Jarrow is way less Annoying than Merboy over in wonder. Oh, yeah, for sure. I want to kill that. [00:42:02] Speaker A: Supergirl speeds to the sunken continent of Atlantis, hoping the ancient wisdom of Atlante. Atlantide. [00:42:09] Speaker C: I'd say Atlantide. [00:42:10] Speaker A: Atlantide. Scientists can aid her. But he says, sorry, we cannot cure your Kryptonite. Kiss. Malady. Not Malady. Mallory. To which she responds, choke. [00:42:25] Speaker C: Meanwhile, Jarrow is gathering pearls from oysters at super speed. He's got a. [00:42:31] Speaker A: He's killing a lot of metrics. A lot of oysters. To do that, right. [00:42:35] Speaker C: Do you have to kill the oyster to get the pearl? [00:42:36] Speaker A: You have to open it up. I think you probably do, don't you? You open it. You, like, you have to pry it open and pull a pearl. Don't you think that would kill the oyster? [00:42:47] Speaker C: Oh, I thought it was just, like, sitting gently on its tongue and it just. You just opened it up and it falls right out. [00:42:53] Speaker A: So the pearls are formed by an irritant that gets stuck inside the oyster that it can't get rid of, and then it calcifies pearls. It puts calcium around it. [00:43:02] Speaker C: Is that right? [00:43:02] Speaker A: Yes. And that's how the pearl is formed. And so when they culture pearls, they place things inside. They place an irritant inside the pearl. Excuse me, inside the oyster, which then they form because they're trying to form something around it to protect themselves from the irritation. [00:43:16] Speaker C: Guess how many calories in six raw oysters? Wait, 357. Oh, okay, so that's like 10 calories per oyster. [00:43:26] Speaker A: Excellent. [00:43:27] Speaker C: You could eat, like, 200 oysters and still not meet your calorie goal for the day, right? I could do it. It's good to know. [00:43:38] Speaker A: If we ever get stuck on an island. [00:43:40] Speaker C: Yes. [00:43:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:42] Speaker C: We collect pearls for me at super speed. [00:43:45] Speaker A: I would do it as quickly as I could. [00:43:47] Speaker C: Okay, so Gero says, listen, Supergirl, now that I'm super powerful, I no longer have to remain here in the sea. I can help you battle surface world crime and injustice. We can roam the universe. [00:43:59] Speaker A: Goodbye, Gero. She cuts him off. [00:44:03] Speaker C: But, Supergirl, I want to be with you always. Goodbye, Gero. I don't want a steady boyfriend. [00:44:09] Speaker B: That sounds like a lot of my relationship with my wife. [00:44:16] Speaker A: She goes, I don't want a city boyfriend. He goes, I see. You don't. You don't want me, even if I have superpowers, because I'm a. I'm a. [00:44:22] Speaker C: That's not true. [00:44:23] Speaker A: Read my mind and you'll know how much. How much I very like you. But I'm too young for marriage. Wait, is he. Are they using telepathic communication? [00:44:31] Speaker C: Yes. Oh, also, Supergirl, don't invite people to read your mind. [00:44:37] Speaker A: Can you? [00:44:38] Speaker B: I knew he would. [00:44:41] Speaker A: She goes. Please understand. Goodbye. [00:44:43] Speaker C: Goodbye. [00:44:44] Speaker A: He's. Oh, he chokes too. He's so sad. [00:44:48] Speaker C: Yes. Meanwhile, Dick decides to enjoy his powers once more and flies out over the ocean and runs into Jarrow. Wow. A super merman. [00:44:59] Speaker B: Boy, this is how you know it's an early DC comic, is they do not fight. They shake hands. [00:45:05] Speaker C: They shake hands. Hands. [00:45:06] Speaker A: I'm Dick Malvern. I have superpowers. [00:45:08] Speaker C: Like you. [00:45:08] Speaker A: Want to be pals? [00:45:10] Speaker C: Sure. I'm Jarrow of Atlantis. Glad to meet you, Dick. [00:45:14] Speaker A: It's Linda's midvale boyfriend. Her Kryptonite kiss made him super, too. You'd think he'd make him jealous, but no, he doesn't. [00:45:21] Speaker C: I know all about him. Because of my mind reading ability, he thinks I've always had these superpowers. I won't tell him differently. [00:45:28] Speaker A: In order to protect Supergirl's secret identity. [00:45:30] Speaker C: Oh, yes. [00:45:31] Speaker A: So they fly around, two young lads having fun, one with fins, playing in the clouds. [00:45:37] Speaker B: These guys are what, 16, 17? [00:45:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:40] Speaker B: Flying around, playing the clouds and doing hop, leapfrog. Leapfrog over clouds. [00:45:47] Speaker C: Well, they didn't have iPhones. [00:45:49] Speaker A: Right, okay, well, but what happens next? They see some sort of tragic thing about to happen. [00:45:56] Speaker C: A giant tidal wave is about to engulf a Polynesian island. [00:46:00] Speaker A: That's not how tidal waves works, but, okay. [00:46:04] Speaker C: They'Ve got to do something about it. So they use their frigid breath, freeze it. Freeze the tidal wave solid into a giant mountain of ice and super toss it off to the Arctic, where it won't harm anyone. Well, people live in the Arctic. It might harm someone. Not to mention the Fortress of Solitude. [00:46:24] Speaker A: Well, already in this issue, we're taking battleships and just tossing them out. You know, out of sight, out of mind. Now, let's see this giant mound of ice. [00:46:30] Speaker C: Well, these teenagers died. They don't think ahead. They don't worry about consequences. [00:46:34] Speaker B: No. [00:46:35] Speaker C: Right, Chuck? [00:46:35] Speaker B: I've got personal experience with that. [00:46:39] Speaker C: All right. Supergirl comes upon the scene, and she's not having it. I'm aware that both of you have gained temporary superpowers. However, I must warn you, stop performing super feats or your lives will be imperiled. If your powers disappear at a dangerous time, heed my warning, as Linda has. Now, I'm off to Japan. Bye. [00:47:02] Speaker A: Streaking to Japan, The Girl of Steel helps rescue victims of an earthquake. Supergirl befriends all in need. Now that Superman has permitted me to act openly, people of all nations know of me. [00:47:15] Speaker C: I wonder if the earthquake must have caused the tidal wave. [00:47:19] Speaker B: Well, I was surprised at Dr. Husband's assertion that that's not how tidal waves work. When he has shown open disgust for all of physics inside of comics. This could have happened. This is a Superman fart. You don't know what caused this. [00:47:33] Speaker A: Dino waves don't form gigantic, gigantic, huge. [00:47:36] Speaker B: Mountains of water in our universe. They don't. [00:47:39] Speaker A: Oh, okay. All right. I can. [00:47:41] Speaker C: This is one, as you well know. [00:47:44] Speaker A: Meanwhile, as Dick and Gero disregard superhero Supergirl's warning, they go to look at a volcano's crater and their powers. [00:47:53] Speaker B: Wherever in this great panel with Jaro flapping his arms like wings and flapping his tail back and forth to stay in the air. [00:48:03] Speaker C: We're doomed. Ulp. I've lost my powers too. Suddenly, they stop falling. Someone caught us. It must be Supergirl. But wait, there's Supergirl up there. If she didn't save us, who did? It can't be Superman or his robots. They've left Earth. How does Dick know that Superman's left Earth? [00:48:27] Speaker B: I wonder if they publish when Superman's gonna be on planet. [00:48:31] Speaker C: Yeah, that doesn't seem like. Is there, like, a press office that Superman has. [00:48:36] Speaker B: I'm reading one story now where they're like, Superman's in the future. He can't be. [00:48:40] Speaker A: What? [00:48:42] Speaker B: What? This was glorious. You are holding your head like it's painful, but this next page panel is glorious. [00:48:49] Speaker C: I, Dick, and Jarrow, have been rescued by a horde of small Supergirls. [00:48:58] Speaker A: Tiny, delicate duplicates. Tiny duplicates? Not delicate duplicates of a Supergirl. [00:49:05] Speaker C: She saw the boys Peril returning from Japan, but you tiny Supergirls saved them before I could. Who are you? [00:49:14] Speaker A: One of the tiny Supergirls, So standing in Supergirl's hand says, presenting the Supergirl emergency squad from the miniature city of Kandor. We are admirers of yours who formed a Supergirl fan club when the Earth viewer in our Kandorian clubhouse revealed Dick and Jaro disobeying your warning. Quick, girls, don the blonde wigs and friction proof Supergirl costumes. We've saved the costumes. Oh, this is a long sentence. Quick, girls, don the blonde wigs and friction proof Supergirl costumes we save for a time like this, those boys may need rescuing before Supergirl could reach them. So this now, mind you, of miniature girls all put on the same costume and wigs. [00:49:54] Speaker C: Yes, Mind you, on their Earth viewer, Dick and Gerald are almost at the rim of the volcano already? [00:50:03] Speaker A: Yeah, so? [00:50:05] Speaker C: And they don't have superpowers within Kandor yet. [00:50:09] Speaker A: They have to take a spaceship. They have to put their costumes on, take a spaceship to the top of the bottle, pry off the cork, then they get superpowers. Once they get outside, how do they. [00:50:20] Speaker C: Get the cork off? Because they're not outside yet, and they're flying away from that spaceship. [00:50:26] Speaker B: Chuck, I had a great dream about this. The Supergirl Emergency Squad saving me from certain doom. [00:50:34] Speaker C: I bet you did. [00:50:36] Speaker B: But they were all little tiny versions of Dr. Peter Bob. [00:50:43] Speaker A: On the volcanic isle. There we. There they are. We're glad we reached the boys in time, Supergirl. Now that our mission is completed, we'll return to Cander. Goodbye. They all leave. [00:50:57] Speaker C: Well, this is the origin of the Supergirl Emergency Squad. You're welcome. [00:51:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:03] Speaker C: It'S not explained here, but I believe the Superman Emergency Squad. For first of all, they don't all wear black wigs to look like Superman. They just have their normal hair. Second of all, when they're in Kandor, they're barely visible, right? They're the size of ants. They have to increase their size somehow to a few inches, so that they can be seen by the naked eye. [00:51:32] Speaker B: So there is some size changing going on between Candor and Dick Malvern's butt. [00:51:42] Speaker C: Now, since he's no longer super, Gero must go back to Atlantis at once. Farewell, Supergirl. Please think of me once in a while. Choke. [00:51:50] Speaker A: Choke. [00:51:53] Speaker C: And Supergirl flies Dick back to Midvale, not to his house, but she drops him off at the city limits. [00:52:05] Speaker B: I must leave you here. [00:52:09] Speaker C: Give my best regards to Linda. Sometime later, after the Girl of Steel returns home and changes to her Linda identity, Dick calls on her and commiserates with her because she is also unsuper, quote, unquote. Dick leaves and Linda says to her mother, would he ever be amazed to know I'm still Super in my secret Supergirl identity? [00:52:37] Speaker A: And this is the second thing that her mother says that infuriates me. I'm glad my superpowers have gone away. I prefer relying on my husband and you for protection. She said that she didn't want Supergirl to do her housework, that she loved doing housework. And then she said, I prefer to rely on my husband and you for protection. Protection? [00:52:58] Speaker C: Look, I support women making their own choices about how they live their lives. As long as this is her choice, I can't go against it. [00:53:07] Speaker B: This also infuriated me, especially knowing our culture in the 50s and early 60s, where a lot was done in our entertainment to reinforce the cultural norms that white men had established. Like, Leave it to freaking Beaver. That whole show is just, you know, the women should be this and the father should be this. [00:53:28] Speaker C: Also, Beaver had the same slang connotation in the 50s. I don't know who greenlit that show title. [00:53:35] Speaker A: As Linda answers. Oh, the door rings. And Linda answers the door. And a young neighbor shows her his new pet. Aw, isn't he sweet? [00:53:41] Speaker C: Oh, dear. [00:53:42] Speaker A: I forgot I kissed the puppy. Will my kryptonite kiss give him superpowers, too? [00:53:46] Speaker C: That wouldn't be so bad. [00:53:47] Speaker A: No. So. So for hours afterward, Linda watches the puppy anxiously with her supervision. I guess she had nothing better to do but use her. [00:53:55] Speaker B: I mean, all the housework was done. What else is she gonna do? [00:53:57] Speaker C: I guess maybe Superman's come back from space. [00:54:01] Speaker A: But the next day, the puppy's patting the ball and barely budging it. So now he's weak. [00:54:05] Speaker C: Yes. Thankfully, the red kryptonite effect has worn off. I'm rid of the kryptonite kiss forever. Luckily, red kryptonite can only affect somebody once. Now that she's coated Phantom Girl's gift with a protective covering of lead, the kryptonite radiations, which can't pierce lead, won't be able to harm Superman or Krypto. And I'll keep this as a memento of one of my most amazing adventures. [00:54:41] Speaker B: Phantom Girl, what did you done? So I just read a story in cover date of January 1962 in Action Comics, where Superman has shown at the fortress of Solitude with a bank of lead shelves with various versions of red kryptonite, because each can only affect the user once, and they always affect the user in the same way. So he stores these to use them, and deliberately exposes himself to a chunk of red kryptonite that turns him into a baby. [00:55:18] Speaker C: Why? [00:55:18] Speaker B: Well, you'll have to read like I'm gonna sit here and tell you why. [00:55:24] Speaker C: Speaking of amazing adventures, it all began one day when a fantastic fate decreed that the paths of two amazing super beings would meet. What strange destiny has brought Supergirl and the mighty super stallion Comet together. What incredible adventures does the future hold for the steed of Steel and his mistress, Supergirl? For the amazing answer, read the secret origin of Supergirl's super horse. Now, we did cover the prequel to this story, where Supergirl finds Comet after dreaming of having a super horse for weeks and weeks. [00:56:08] Speaker B: Right? [00:56:09] Speaker C: And which she's doing now. She's dreaming of fighting crime with Comet, her super horse. But when she awakens to reality, she's in her room at the famed Supergirl dude ranch, where she's vacationing. Supergirl Dude Ranch. [00:56:28] Speaker A: I read that. [00:56:29] Speaker C: Yes. [00:56:29] Speaker A: And I thought, oh, so there's gonna be, like, Supergirl merchandise. There's gonna be Supergirl things here. It didn't need to be called Supergirl Dude Ranch. There's literally nothing about this that means Supergirl. [00:56:43] Speaker C: Well, maybe it's for charity or something. [00:56:47] Speaker A: Maybe. [00:56:47] Speaker C: Or maybe it's like when Mary Marvel used to sell denim dungarees in the pages of wow. Comics, and the ad said, Mary Marvel copies a cowboy. [00:56:59] Speaker B: So, say you are a telepathic super horse. Why are you beaming dreams into some chick's head to prepare her? Because in those dreams, you're still a horse and you're her pet. [00:57:15] Speaker C: Yeah, well, girls love horses, right? So horses, ergo, must love girls. [00:57:29] Speaker A: So she awakens on the Supergirl dude ranch. She goes, oh, another horse dream about a super horse. And it all seems so real. I suppose I keep dreaming about super horses because I'm here on this dude ranch. But, gosh, how I wish my dream horse, Comet, was real. [00:57:44] Speaker C: But just then, an eerie figure streaks through the morning sky. It's Comet. It's a flying horse. He's more than a dream. He's real. Yes, I remember now. I found him here at the Supergirl ranch. I even rode him in her dream. [00:57:58] Speaker A: Right. [00:58:01] Speaker C: I can't remember the details of the previous story. [00:58:04] Speaker A: Oh, God. As the Super Stallion swoops to Earth, nobody else. [00:58:10] Speaker C: Oh, no, that's Linda. [00:58:15] Speaker A: Nobody else saw him flying but me. He's joining the other horses in the corral. Oh, this is so exciting. I'll go down and visit him as soon as I dress. [00:58:22] Speaker C: But Linda finds the corral in an uproar. He's apparently a wild horse they're trying to last sue him and tame him, and trying to brand and shoe him, which won't work, of course, because he's super. But so far, uh, Linda's the only one who's ever been able to make him hold still. She offers to take care of everything, knowing that if they try to burn his hide or drive a nail into his hoof, they'll find his. That he's invulnerable. I've got to prevent it. Why? What's the harm? [00:59:02] Speaker B: Well, he'll be exploited if they find out he's a super horse. [00:59:05] Speaker C: How can they exploit him? He's a super horse. They just fly off. [00:59:09] Speaker B: They're going to sell tickets and make. [00:59:10] Speaker C: Them work well, they're going to make a lasso of red kryptonite. [00:59:14] Speaker B: They're going to call Phantom Girl. We know you admire this horse. [00:59:22] Speaker C: All right? She is going to try to brand and shoe him, which she does with clever use of X ray vision. [00:59:34] Speaker A: Her heat vision melts the shoes around his hooves and then she, quote, brands him, which is weird, by using her lipstick and her heat. Her. [00:59:48] Speaker B: How does that work? [00:59:49] Speaker C: Dr. [00:59:49] Speaker A: Husband? Her heat vision. [00:59:51] Speaker B: Yeah, but what's she doing? [00:59:53] Speaker A: She uses her lipstick. She says. She says she's not hurting him. She puts her. She marks him with her lipstick and then uses her heat vision to change the lipstick's molecular structure so that it will cling temporarily to the comic's invulnerable hide and look like a brand. Just the way that the science worked in the last issue that we read. [01:00:12] Speaker C: Alright, now that he's branded and shooed, Mr. Greed, can I take him for a gallop? Sure. You're the only one who can handle this wild horse. So I guess it's fine to let you go out by yourself with him. I thought that would get more reaction. [01:00:32] Speaker A: Yeah, right. He goes, but have him back in an hour. So we want. We want. Have him back in an hour because we want all the horses performing. So this wild horse that no one can do anything with but her, he says, go ahead and take him out for a ride, but be back. Bring him back in an hour because he needs to perform at the rodeo. [01:00:47] Speaker C: That's how SeaWorld operates. [01:00:50] Speaker A: So she saddles him and she rides him out of sight. And then she goes, all right, Comet, nobody's watching. Show me some of your super stuff. Up and away. And they fly up a mountain in. [01:01:00] Speaker B: Comet has a line. [01:01:03] Speaker C: Whiny Winnie. Whiny, whiny. Shut up. [01:01:10] Speaker A: So then they start talking. She says, come, let's get down to brass tacks. For weeks before I came west, I kept dreaming about a super superhorse. I believe you sent me those dreams telepathically. Am I right? [01:01:21] Speaker C: Correct, Supergirl. I used my telepathic power to bring you here, where we could meet. It was vitally important. [01:01:31] Speaker A: As the fantastic telepathic conversation continues, Comment? Where did you come from? Where did you get your superpowers? How did you get. How did you master telepathy? You must have been born on Krypton the way I was. [01:01:44] Speaker B: Why are you invading my intimate dreams at night? [01:01:47] Speaker C: Really? [01:01:47] Speaker A: What are you doing in my bed? [01:01:48] Speaker B: I'm an underage girl. [01:01:51] Speaker C: No, I'm Earthborn. It's a long story. I was not always, as you see me now. [01:02:00] Speaker A: Once, long ago in ancient Greece, I was a centaur named Byron. [01:02:03] Speaker C: A centaur? [01:02:04] Speaker A: Centaur. Centaur. Godadvia, you have no business here. Centaur. I was a centaur named Byron. I fell in love with a sorceress, Circe. [01:02:14] Speaker C: Ah. Sigh. How beautiful she is. If only I were a human being, I could declare my love for her. [01:02:21] Speaker A: Then one day I saw an evil wizard approaching the fountain where Circe always drank. [01:02:26] Speaker C: It's Maldor. Black hearted Maldor who's hated Cersei ever since she bested him at the. At the festival last year. Now he plans to poison her in revenge. Cersei's evil, is she not? [01:02:43] Speaker B: I heard they were adapting this in the movie Next year I'm in. [01:02:49] Speaker A: So he strungs, he strings his bow and he shoots the bottle of poison out of Maldor's hands. Yes, well, Maldor flees and Cersei says. I saw what happened, Bill. Byron. [01:03:04] Speaker C: Biron. Byron, let's just say. Byron. [01:03:07] Speaker A: Byron, I owe you my life. Ask any reward and I will grant it if I can. [01:03:12] Speaker C: If by your magic powers you could change me into a human being, it will be done. [01:03:16] Speaker A: And you'll make a handsome mortal indeed, Byron. [01:03:19] Speaker B: So if Cersei is the Cersei that we know of from mythology, she's probably the one that changed him into a centaur in the first place. Like she did Speedy in Justice League 102. [01:03:31] Speaker A: Yes, well, for days and days she mixed her herbs and magic potions. Then at last she says, this is my greatest achievement as a sorceress. One vial contains an elixir that would turn you into a horse. This one will turn you into a man. So she made two vials. [01:03:47] Speaker C: Yes. Right. And placed them precariously close to each. [01:03:50] Speaker A: Other so that they could be, you know, confused. Right. [01:03:53] Speaker C: Yes. [01:03:54] Speaker A: This. A drink? Byron. Cersei. How can I thank you for making my dearest wish come true? As the brew touched my lips, I felt a change come over me. But to my horror, something is happening. My face, it's changing. Growing longer. [01:04:11] Speaker C: Gasp. [01:04:12] Speaker B: Props to Jim Mooney for that human to horse face. [01:04:15] Speaker C: That's nice. Yes. So she accidentally gave him the wrong potion and he's 100% horse now. And there's. [01:04:26] Speaker A: Why did she have to make a potion that was going to turn him into fully into a horse and a. [01:04:29] Speaker C: Potion that turned into a human? Because she's evil. Yeah, toying with men is her shtick. Turns out there's no antidote, so you're a whores forever. [01:04:41] Speaker B: What about the other potion, what would happen? [01:04:46] Speaker A: Maybe it could turn him back into a centaur. [01:04:48] Speaker C: But instead of trying that, I'm just gonna make another potion. A brew that will give you the might of Jove, the speed of Mercury, the wisdom of Athena, and the telepathic powers of Neptune, king of the sea. [01:05:01] Speaker A: Desperate at my plight, I drank from the foaming bowl. [01:05:04] Speaker C: Drink. Drink. All the superpowers of the gods will be yours and their immortality as well. Choak. [01:05:11] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. But evil eyes were watching from nearby in the forest. It was I, Maldor, who switched the vials and tricked that cursed Biron into drinking. Byron. Sorry. Into drinking the brew that turned him into a beast. But by giving him superpowers, Circe has spoiled my revenge. Still seeking vengeance, Maldor visited the evil soothsayer who taught him the black arts. Now that Cersei has given Biron the powers. God damn it, Byron. The powers of the gods and the gift of immortality. How could I get my revenge? And so the hooker nosed man says, Observe the chart of the zodiac, my friend. Since Byron was born a centaur, his fate is controlled by the sign of Sagittarius. [01:05:51] Speaker C: That's. That's not how astrology works. [01:05:53] Speaker A: No, it isn't. [01:05:53] Speaker C: Assuming it is real. [01:05:55] Speaker B: What did you call him? The Poconose man. [01:05:58] Speaker A: The. The hook nosed man? Look, he's got a hook nose and a hook chin. [01:06:02] Speaker B: How do you know they're in the Poconous? [01:06:03] Speaker A: Oh. Who? Just sprinkle the powder of this box on Byron and. And then read the magic spell on the scroll. You. Its power will exile Byron to the constellation Sagittarius forever. [01:06:17] Speaker C: Well, that's exactly what happens. A powerful force drags Byron toward the distant constellation, off the planet Earth and into space. Not even his superpowers can resist it. He finds himself on a remote asteroid, imprisoned by a magic aura that could not be destroyed for thousands of years. Until one day. [01:06:39] Speaker A: Now remember, he's immortal. It doesn't appear to be. He's not an asteroid. Doesn't appear to be any food or any sustenance for him. But if he's immortal, he's just gonna die. [01:06:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:06:46] Speaker A: No, he doesn't get to die. [01:06:48] Speaker C: Live forever. [01:06:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:06:50] Speaker C: A strange missile is approaching the asteroid with a girl inside. It's Supergirl's rocket from Argo City on its way to Earth. [01:06:58] Speaker A: Wow. [01:06:59] Speaker C: It's incredible. I was the girl inside the rocket. My parents had launched me toward Earth just before Argo City perished. It was the last surviving fragment of the shattered planet Krypton. [01:07:12] Speaker B: I gotta Stop and say the art here is wonderful. [01:07:15] Speaker C: Yes. [01:07:15] Speaker B: Artists always talk about how hard horses are to draw. [01:07:18] Speaker C: Yes. [01:07:19] Speaker B: And this is the most believable horse being tossed into outer space. Picture of a horse. [01:07:24] Speaker A: Correction. This is the most believable, telepathic, super powered horse that you've ever seen drawn. [01:07:30] Speaker C: Yes. [01:07:30] Speaker B: Yes. [01:07:32] Speaker C: The rocket was equipped with Repeller Rays, designed to destroy any meteor that might approach. And when those rays struck the asteroid prison, the force of the Repeller Rays shattered the magic aura that imprisoned Byron, and he's free. And he follows the ship to Earth. [01:07:48] Speaker A: Of course. And he sees. Arriving on Earth, he joined a herd of wild horses with his telepathic vision. Telepathic vision? Telepathic. [01:07:59] Speaker C: Yes, yes, just go with it. [01:08:01] Speaker A: I watched my little friend begin her career as Supergirl. [01:08:07] Speaker B: So, as a telepath, he can summon visions? Yes, Telepathic vision. [01:08:14] Speaker A: Not telescopic vision or supervision. [01:08:18] Speaker B: Right? [01:08:18] Speaker A: No. [01:08:19] Speaker B: A vision brought on by telepathy. [01:08:23] Speaker C: Like Supergirl, he hid his secret identity. And when the horse herd he had joined was killed, captured, he allowed himself to be captured, too, even though he could easily evade the cowboys by using his superpowers. But that would reveal to the world that I am a super horse. I must keep my identity secret so that someday I can use my superpowers for good, the way Supergirl does. See? [01:08:47] Speaker B: Attracts. [01:08:48] Speaker C: Why not do that now? Why let yourself be captured? Just go on ahead. Rescue these trapped horses. Go on with your business. Well, suppose, Comet, you tell me why you beamed those telepathic dreams to me. I mean, that weird series of nightmares in which you and I performed imaginary super deeds together. [01:09:09] Speaker A: Well, I was trying to contact you, Telepathy. Telepathically. I wish to alert you of the serious emergency that imperils the Earth. [01:09:20] Speaker C: Well, turns out the Danvers are also vacationing at the Supergirl dude ranch. [01:09:25] Speaker A: They are riding normal horses. [01:09:28] Speaker C: Yes. [01:09:28] Speaker A: Not telepathic. [01:09:29] Speaker C: And they know who Supergirl is. Obviously. But she's not going to tell them about Comet just yet. [01:09:36] Speaker A: She needs a secret identity. [01:09:38] Speaker C: They've come to find Linda because the rodeo is about to begin and Comet has to perform. [01:09:44] Speaker A: He has to earn his oats, I guess. [01:09:47] Speaker B: The untamed, unbroken Comet that nobody could get near. [01:09:51] Speaker C: Right. Well, Linda riding Comet wins the barrel jump with the leap of 12 barrels. [01:09:58] Speaker A: Of course, if he wanted to, he could jump across the Grand Canyon. Yes, but that would give away his superpowers. [01:10:05] Speaker C: They also win the obedience contest. And suddenly, in the midst of the contest, Comet takes off. He's gone loco. Don't worry, he's just Received a telepathic warning. An alien spaceship is attacking the Pacific World's Fair. We'll have to go into action at once. Now, this is in Seattle, correct? That's the Space Needle. [01:10:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:10:32] Speaker C: She changes to Supergirl. Also whips up some kind of costume from for Comet. [01:10:39] Speaker A: Was there a super sewing machine? [01:10:40] Speaker C: Sure, okay. Her super singer. He's got a little harness and a cape. The alien ship is destroying the entire city of Seattle. No big loss. And she cannot see through. [01:10:57] Speaker A: What do you mean no big loss? Seattle's beautiful. [01:11:00] Speaker C: She cannot see through the alien spaceship with her X ray vision. That must be lined with lead. [01:11:05] Speaker A: Oh, no. Using her super speed, the Maid of Steel hurtles toward the enemy spacecraft. [01:11:10] Speaker C: But Gasp. It's a trap. [01:11:12] Speaker A: I'm caught in a crossfire of kryptonite energy bolts. Choke. I feel so weak, so helpless. She's falling to the ground. [01:11:18] Speaker C: Oh, no. And then she gets deja vu. There's something so familiar about all this, as though I've gone through it all before. Well, she has. She had a dream about it. [01:11:30] Speaker B: Well, dream insertion. [01:11:32] Speaker C: Yes. Comet comes to save her, just as he did in her dream. He can intercept the kryptonite bolts because he's not from Krypton. [01:11:41] Speaker A: Right. [01:11:42] Speaker C: He's immune. [01:11:43] Speaker B: I love the very heroic looking pictures of her riding his back and then flying through the sky together. When I saw this, I think it's the first time I really saw that. I always knew of Comet, but I think they look really good together. [01:12:02] Speaker C: Just then, Superman returns from space or wherever he's been, and is surprised to see a horse that can fly and is invulnerable to kryptonite. He's the mightiest creature of them all. [01:12:14] Speaker A: Superman returns to see it. But he says, well, I gotta go. I can't. I don't even have time to congratulate you. Gotta go on another mission. [01:12:24] Speaker B: So there's no investigation on these aliens or this. [01:12:29] Speaker A: Who are these aliens? Why is this. Why is my cousin Supergirl riding a. [01:12:34] Speaker B: Super horse with a cape? [01:12:35] Speaker A: With a cape. [01:12:36] Speaker B: Right. [01:12:36] Speaker A: Like what? No, I just gotta. Well, everything seems to be fine over here. He's gotta go. [01:12:41] Speaker B: He's gotta get back to the fortress and update his spreadsheet of super family. [01:12:45] Speaker C: Pet members and red kryptonite effects. Right. [01:12:49] Speaker A: So Supergirl and Comet decide to repair the Space Needle. [01:12:53] Speaker C: Yes. [01:12:54] Speaker A: And use their heat vision to weld it. And I guess no one will check to see that the welds are good or strong, because they just trust that Supergirl and her flying horse know exactly how to engineer welding in such a way that will make it as good as new. [01:13:11] Speaker C: Now, as they're flying back to the dude ranch, she explains that the dream she had was exactly what happened. Except that in the dream, the attack was against Metropolis by an entire fleet. Correct. With my telepathic powers, I was able to tune in on the aliens planning conquest. I decided to warn you of the coming emergency by projecting telepathic dreams to you. The ship we fought must have been their advance scout. [01:13:40] Speaker A: Those dreams alerted you and brought you out here where we could meet and. [01:13:44] Speaker C: Face the aliens together. [01:13:46] Speaker A: I guess now they'll be afraid to. [01:13:47] Speaker C: Send the rest of their fleet. [01:13:48] Speaker A: Well, that's a good assumption. I'm sure that's exactly what's going to happen. [01:13:52] Speaker C: She changes back to Linda, expresses her gratitude to Comet, and tells him to name the reward that he wants. [01:14:01] Speaker A: We'll just change me into a human, please. [01:14:05] Speaker C: But Comet, not even my superpowers can break a magic spell. Oh, if there were only some other way to help you. [01:14:13] Speaker A: There is a way, Supergirl. But I can't tell you now. The time is not ripe. Okay, well, so Linda's plan is convince her parents to buy Comet, right? And that way Comet and she can stay together as friends. And she can. They can perform super dudes together. But unfortunately, she comes back and learns of someone else has bought him. [01:14:36] Speaker C: He's just been sold to Matt Carver, an animal trainer from Hollywood. If I train him right, he'll make a million dollars. In the movies, do animal performers make that kind of money? [01:14:50] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't think so. This guy looks like Lex Luthor in disguise. [01:14:54] Speaker A: Yes, he does this. Comet is led away. Linda watches, brokenhearted, and she says to him, comet, don't resist. [01:15:03] Speaker C: Don't use your superpowers to break loose. You must go with Mr. [01:15:06] Speaker A: Carver and keep your identity as a super horse a secret. Why? [01:15:10] Speaker C: I will obey you, Supergirl, but somehow I will find a way to reach you. There are important new missions waiting for us. No one can keep us apart. [01:15:19] Speaker A: I don't understand why this damn horse just can't fly away out into Montana somewhere and live in the forest and then telepathically communicate with her whenever they want to do super deeds together. He doesn't. He lived on a freaking asteroid for thousands of years. [01:15:32] Speaker C: Years. [01:15:32] Speaker A: He doesn't need a secret identity. [01:15:35] Speaker B: He likes to stay close to humans. Because Supergirl is not the only one that he dicks with in their dreams. [01:15:47] Speaker A: Doesn't Lois Lane fall in love with this horse at Some point later on. [01:15:52] Speaker C: Yes, she becomes a centaur and she can't be changed back. And so she then, I believe she asked to be turned all the way into a horse so that she can marry super horse because she can't marry Superman because he won't have her. Nice. That's from the 70s. Lois Lane. [01:16:11] Speaker B: So if Hart Bochner was a centaur in a Supergirl movie, what would that do for you? The tide in the room turned. [01:16:23] Speaker A: Chuck just got flushed. [01:16:25] Speaker C: We have a segment here in our program called Time Machine Mailbag. [01:16:28] Speaker B: Oh, do we? [01:16:28] Speaker C: Where we answer letters from the past with sensible When I'll play the song, don't worry. [01:16:35] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [01:16:36] Speaker C: Time Machine Mailbag. Where we read letters from the past and answer them today. Time Machine Mail Bag. Better late than never is what mother used to say. Are you ready, Chuck? [01:16:47] Speaker B: I am ready. [01:16:47] Speaker C: Dear Chuck, I'm 13 years old and I like a boy who is 15. My best friend also likes him. Should I stay out of her way so that she has a better chance of winning him? I don't mean to brag, but he does seem to pay more attention to me than to her. What should I do? Sign Mary. [01:17:05] Speaker B: Stay away from any 15 year old boy for as long as humanly possible. Be 13 and enjoy yourself. Let's let your friend make the mistakes. [01:17:18] Speaker A: That's good. That's good advice. [01:17:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:17:21] Speaker A: Okay, I have one for you. Dr. Bob. [01:17:23] Speaker C: Yes. [01:17:23] Speaker A: Dear Dr. Bob, I've been invited to attend the wedding of one of my best friends to a boy I used to go with steadily because I'm still so fond of this boy that I might even still be in love with him. I feel very funny about attending the wedding. Do you think it's right for me to go or should I stay away? Signed Sherry. [01:17:41] Speaker C: Well, Sherry, I'm going to tell you a story that happened to me in real life. Yesterday at my training in the secure military facility, we all had to go around the room and write down on a slip of paper one interesting fact about ourselves that nobody would know. Of course, my interesting fact was that I appeared on stage with Gopher from Love Boat. But the gentleman next to me, his interesting fact was that he attended the wedding of an ex girlfriend and had a swell time. [01:18:14] Speaker A: Wow. [01:18:15] Speaker C: So Sherry, I say go right on ahead. If they're old enough to be married, they probably have an open bar of some kind. And you never know what might happen if the bride turns her head away. [01:18:31] Speaker B: All right, Dr. Husband, there's one for you. Until recently, I have dated several different boys, but finally I met the one who raised really means a lot to me. I love him very much. My problem, though, is not with him. It's with my roommate. She is a very nice girl and I like her very much. However, she has a bad habit of trying to attract every boy who comes around, including my dates using her enormous boobs. She is very charming and several times in the past have succeeded. In the past, I haven't cared too much. But now things are different. I don't want to lose the boy I love, and I don't want to lose the friendship of my roommate either. What would you do? [01:19:14] Speaker A: Well, I would recommend going down to the drugstore and getting some sort of hair treatment. And when your roommate is asleep, pour it into her hair and put a knife, like one of those plastic things over her. Over her head and just let it stay there all night. So that when your roommate wakes up, her hair is absolutely ruined. And it probably will be ruined for a long time. Because your friend deserves it. Your roommate deserves it, and that should teach her a lesson. [01:19:45] Speaker B: Wow. [01:19:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:19:46] Speaker B: I bet your college roommates loved you. [01:19:50] Speaker C: Whee. Isn't that fun? Well, that's all we have time for because we have a thrilling three part novel starring superman and supergirl coming up as they meet an incredible mystery from the bizarro world. I have read this story approximately 1 billion times. It appeared in the hardbound edition of Superman from the 30s to the 70s, which I checked out weekly from the grandview heights public library. [01:20:20] Speaker B: Did it have any other contenders? [01:20:23] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh, it had everything. It had Superman met Orson Webb. [01:20:26] Speaker B: No, I mean, did anybody else? [01:20:28] Speaker C: Oh, no, it was just you on the movie. Just me. That Batman from the 30s to the 70s. Shazam. From the 40s to the 70s. The great Superman book. And the Batman encyclopedia. And the wonder woman encyclopedia. And secret origins of the super DC heroes and origins of Marvel comics. Sons of origins, Marvel comics. Bring on the bad guys, the superhero women, the silver surfer graphic novel. That was hardbound. [01:20:58] Speaker B: What year? [01:20:59] Speaker C: Oh, gosh, 76, 77. It was before I was actually reading superhero comics. [01:21:06] Speaker B: That was going to be my next question. You started late. [01:21:09] Speaker C: I was reading Harvey and Charlton floppies, but then checking out these hardbound books from the library because I was afraid that superhero comics would be too adult for me at 10 or 12 years old and. [01:21:25] Speaker B: But you were watching super friends. [01:21:26] Speaker C: Super friends, yes, of course. [01:21:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:28] Speaker C: That's probably what led me astray is when they had the super friends comic. [01:21:35] Speaker B: I led you astray. It seduced you into the life world of poverty comics. [01:21:45] Speaker C: Far off in space spins the strangest planet in existence. A square world. The capital of this incredible world is a city of crooked structures seemingly designed by a mad architect. Hours are numbered the wrong way on its crazy clocks and flags are upside down, but the stars and stripes wrongly colored. On this mixed up world, coal is used for money and words are all misspelled Queerest of all. The people are all imperfect doubles of Superman and Lois Lane living in a world where everything is the opposite of all things on Earth. Because on Bizarro World, us hate all earthly things. [01:22:28] Speaker B: I love the movie poster in the background there. Matt Batterson loses showdown. [01:22:38] Speaker C: This is a little like the Smurf Village. You have all the Bizarro Supermen, but each one has a different hat according to their job on Bizarro World. [01:22:47] Speaker B: Okay, I never made that connection till now. [01:22:50] Speaker C: I didn't either until this very moment. Till it came out of my mouth. Were you aware, Dr. Husband, that there was more than one Bizarro? [01:23:03] Speaker A: I knew that he lived on a Bizarro World. I was not aware that the only inhabitants of Bizarro World were. Were all duplicates of Lois Lane and Superman. [01:23:11] Speaker C: For now. For now. [01:23:12] Speaker A: Yeah, I was not aware of that. [01:23:14] Speaker C: Well, you can always tell the real Bizarro because he's got a giant medallion around his neck that says Bizarro Number one and Lois. Bizarro has Bizarro Lois number One. [01:23:22] Speaker A: Yeah. I did not know that. This is a surprise to me. [01:23:26] Speaker B: Your energy levels when we start this Bizarro story are remarkable. I think it's everything. It's like Dr. Bob getting a birthday gift. [01:23:42] Speaker A: Oh, God. [01:23:43] Speaker C: We have a brief recap of the origin of Bizarro. When Lex Luthor, Superman's archenemy, invented a duplicator ray which creates imperfect duplicates. [01:23:58] Speaker B: I love how this assistant is drawn. Vecco. [01:24:03] Speaker A: Yeah, he's not. [01:24:04] Speaker B: Looks like a Jerry Lewis character from the 60s. [01:24:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:24:10] Speaker C: So Bizarro is created and a Bizarro Lois is created. They realize they're not wanted on Earth, and so they fly away to live on another world. [01:24:20] Speaker A: So my question is, why is there a Bizarro Lois created? Because Superman and Lois are. I mean, in this time, in this comic, they're known to be like. Like, she. They're an item because they. They like. [01:24:34] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Superman and Lois are a public item. [01:24:37] Speaker A: Okay. All right. [01:24:38] Speaker B: He has a whole comic book called Superman's Girlfriend, Lois Lane. [01:24:41] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I know we've read it. [01:24:42] Speaker C: But honestly, it's probably just because Lois, like, wandered into the beam or something accidentally. Right. [01:24:48] Speaker B: During the first Superman Bizarro fight, he absconded with Lois and brought her to this thing and was romancing her. And really his only issue was loneliness because he was the only one like himself in the whole world. And so they purposely used the bizarre ray on Lois to give him a companion. And then the MFer went and stole it and made a whole planet. [01:25:14] Speaker C: Yes. And finally, the original Bizarro and Bizarro Lois number one, appoint themselves themselves the rulers. And make their hatred of Earth a law by enshrining the Bizarro Code. Shall we? [01:25:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Okay. [01:25:32] Speaker C: Us do opposite of all earthly things. Us hate beauty. Us love ugliness. Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World. But now they've got Bizarro servants, Bizarro gardeners, Bizarro mailman, Bizarro palace guards. Bizarro is getting tired of seeing himself everywhere. [01:25:56] Speaker A: So he wants to make his own Fortress of Solitude, like on Earth. Yes, but unlike Superman's at the Arctic, he's going to make his at the desert. [01:26:05] Speaker C: Nice one, Bizarro. [01:26:10] Speaker A: And because he's the dim witted builder, he left. He forgot to put in a door. So he just breaks through a wall and makes his own. [01:26:18] Speaker C: And since Superman has a valuable collection of things, he has a proud collection of worthless junk. [01:26:25] Speaker A: Look at the Lois Bizarro number one statue with a leg chipped out of it and missing an arm and a hand. His statue of himself is like missing. [01:26:34] Speaker B: A head and a giant piece of chewing gum on a pedestal. [01:26:40] Speaker C: Now he goes home to his wife, Bizarro Lois, to find that she has had a baby while he's been gone. Yeah, it's funny. She didn't look pregnant on the floor. [01:26:50] Speaker A: How long was he gone? [01:26:51] Speaker B: How does that. Was that between pages? Between panels? I'm zooming in. I can't figure out how it was done. [01:26:58] Speaker C: Unfortunately, the baby is a freak. It looks like a human baby of Earth, not like a Bizarro. Yes, and instead of jumping to the conclusion that Lois must Bizarro, Lois must have been making time with Superman. He just assumes that the baby's a freak and a disgrace to the name of Bizarro. None of the other Lois's want to even touch the baby. [01:27:24] Speaker A: No, me not hold your baby. [01:27:26] Speaker C: Us never come to visit you again. [01:27:29] Speaker A: Us we'll lose all our friends. Lois. [01:27:31] Speaker C: Bizarro says luckily he is invulnerable. He can eat anything. He can't be spanked because he's invulnerable. And of course, Lois Bizarro is not super because she's an imitation of Lois Lane. Although as an imperfect duplicate, she should have powers. Oh, right. [01:27:59] Speaker B: Pizarro shouldn't have any then. [01:28:01] Speaker C: Under that logic, the baby has wrecked all normal dolls. So Bizarro has made him. Made him one made of solid iron. [01:28:14] Speaker A: I love that panel of Bizarro. Lois dropping the doll through the floorboards of the house that she's whipped up into the air. [01:28:23] Speaker C: The baby can fly, he's discovered, but he's clumsy. [01:28:30] Speaker B: And they don't give him a chest symbol. No, it's a. It's a copy of the Superman suit. But no chest symbol. [01:28:37] Speaker C: Correct. He goes to one of the other Lois Bizarro's house to visit and blows all the dust out of her house. Which I would think she'd want. More dust in here. [01:28:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's a problem. But they don't like him because he looks like Earth babies. [01:28:58] Speaker C: But she shoots him away with her broom and says, nobody want ugly brat like you around. [01:29:04] Speaker B: Ah, my childhood memories. [01:29:08] Speaker C: He goes into the city, nobody wants him around. They throw bricks and rocks at him and whatnot. Apparently, he's never seen himself in the mirror because he goes to look and his father smashes the mirror. [01:29:19] Speaker A: He doesn't want him to know he's different. But of course. Like Narcissus Baby. Baby Pizarro sees himself in a pot in the pool of water. [01:29:29] Speaker C: Yes. And realizes that in fact he is ugly. [01:29:35] Speaker B: No, no. He says he's different. [01:29:37] Speaker C: Different? Different is hard. Different is lonely. Different is trouble for you. Only different is heartache. Different is pain. [01:29:49] Speaker B: So different relates to Bizarro Baby as a kid? [01:29:53] Speaker C: No Good. [01:29:55] Speaker B: I would be worried. [01:29:57] Speaker C: Pathetically, the population of Bizarro World wants to get rid of this baby because him guilty of crime of being perfect. He must be wiped out. [01:30:06] Speaker A: The child is invulnerable. You can't destroy him. [01:30:09] Speaker C: No, but US raided your fortress of Bizarro and brought Bizarro Ray. Us will change ugly human baby into Bizarro for form. Bring child out. No. [01:30:17] Speaker A: Me won't freak or not. Me love my son the way he is. So he gets an idea. He's gonna take him away and hide. [01:30:28] Speaker C: Him to another world. But he's got no time to find a new world because the mob might hurt Lois. [01:30:34] Speaker A: So Lois says, I'll just show myself at the window so they won't suspect me. Oh, she says it in a bizarre way. Me show myself at windows. So mod not suspicious. Spec trick. What yeah, upper right panel. [01:30:48] Speaker C: Oh. So Bizarro finds a satellite floating in space and puts the baby inside for safekeeping, as you do. Right. Then he explains to the population that the baby must have flown into space. They confirm it with their X ray vision and leave the Bizarro home. But when Bizarro returns to space, the satellite is gone. [01:31:15] Speaker A: Him lost forever. Oh, Bizarro returns with his heartbreaking news. Me searched a million miles, but baby Bizarro lost forever. [01:31:24] Speaker C: Us never see our son again. SOB Maybe poor child will land on. [01:31:29] Speaker A: Lonely world where no people live. [01:31:31] Speaker C: But unknown to the Bizarro parents, the steel shell was a space rocket that is now orbiting back to Earth under automatic controls. [01:31:38] Speaker A: Attention. Space probe returning. Will fall in Area Z13. [01:31:42] Speaker C: Rush there to rescue space photographs from wreckage. Strangely, it's almost like when the Krypton rocket of Jorah landed his infant son on Earth, who became Super Baby and grew up into Superboy and Superman. Strangely unharmed by the crash, not even waking, the son of Bizarro sleeps on, hidden from the scientific cross that arrives soon to haul the wreckage to a lab to examine the film later. [01:32:10] Speaker A: Just like after Super Baby crashed on Earth, the Bizarro baby is found when it awakens and cries. Look, dear. [01:32:17] Speaker C: That baby must have been abandoned here. [01:32:19] Speaker A: We'll take it to the nearest orphanage. [01:32:21] Speaker C: By a strange twist of fate, the orphanage chosen is Midvale Orphanage, where Supergirl lives under the secret identity of Linda Lee. [01:32:31] Speaker A: What will happen? What will happen? Let's find out in the next chapter. [01:32:37] Speaker C: Soon after, the new foundling arrives. [01:32:40] Speaker B: Do it, Dr. [01:32:40] Speaker C: Husband. Wearing a tiny little Superman outfit. [01:32:44] Speaker B: Right. [01:32:47] Speaker C: Linda apparently has a work study position in the nursery because she's left alone with the new orphan baby Buster. Work study. She tries to play with him with a rattle, but he crushes it with his little hands. [01:33:02] Speaker B: She does not even notice his cape. [01:33:04] Speaker C: No. [01:33:06] Speaker A: Or boots. [01:33:07] Speaker B: Little tiny red boots. [01:33:08] Speaker C: No. It's a little playsuit. [01:33:10] Speaker B: She still has those annoying pigtails. [01:33:12] Speaker C: Yeah. She still doesn't realize he has superpowers. She just thought it was a defective rattle. He uses his mighty abilities now to bounce a ball at super speed. And moments later flies up to the ceiling to catch a butterfly and crush it in his powerful grip. Linda decides finally to ask him where he came from. And he tells her that he come from world where Mommy and Daddy live. Oh, me miss them. SOB now he's chasing the butterfly out of the window, flying. [01:33:56] Speaker B: If you look in his tiny hand, he has a lipstick thing. He's going to use his heat vision to brand that butterfly. [01:34:05] Speaker C: Now at this point in time, Supergirl's existence on Earth is still a secret. And so she has to change to Supergirl to chase the baby. But she can't be seen by the population, including the athletic director, and boys playing baseball out on the field. So she uses super breath to obscure their vision with dust. [01:34:24] Speaker A: Blows up dust. I'm sure that's healthy for them. But now, as Supergirl chases the flying child, she chases him flying in the air. They both crash through mountains together. And this is what I didn't know. I didn't realize that she couldn't. She was like, supergirl is a secret at this point. [01:34:40] Speaker C: Secret. [01:34:41] Speaker A: So she gets. They get to the edge of Metropolis, right? [01:34:44] Speaker C: Yes. [01:34:45] Speaker A: She has to stop. She can't follow Superboy into. Well, sorry, not Super Boy. This is Baby Buster. She can't follow him into. [01:34:54] Speaker C: No. [01:34:55] Speaker A: There. So meanwhile, during his usual patrol, Superman finishes a repair job on a sign. He's straightening out a steel support rod on an ice cream sign. That's what the greatest superhero on Earth does. He fixes signs. [01:35:14] Speaker C: Maybe it's a slow day. [01:35:15] Speaker B: It's all for capitalism. We got to keep the machine rolling. [01:35:19] Speaker C: If he's charging time, he's got to fill his eight hours somehow. Now it's an ice cream sign. It looks good enough to eat. And that's just what Baby Buster thinks when he flies past. But it not tastes good. Phooey. [01:35:37] Speaker B: So she could use super ventriloquism. [01:35:40] Speaker C: That's what I was thinking. [01:35:43] Speaker B: Hey, Superman, I have a situation here. [01:35:45] Speaker A: Yeah, can you help? [01:35:46] Speaker B: He'll figure it out. [01:35:46] Speaker A: He'll figure it out. [01:35:50] Speaker C: Baby Buster thinks Superman wants to play with them. So they chase each other. Superman threatens him with physical violence. They lead finally get out of town. So Supergirl appears. They come at the baby from both sides. Sides. And capture him. Supergirl tells the whole story. Now they just think he must have come from some other world with a red sun. But knowing Superman's luck, this is some relative, right? Second cousin or closer, that's somehow ended up on Earth. [01:36:24] Speaker B: It's a trick from the Phantom Zone. [01:36:27] Speaker C: Now, just think, Supergirl being a boy, this Dick being a boy, he could grow up and be my successor someday. So he must remain in the orphanage. [01:36:42] Speaker A: Under the secret identity of Baby Buster. [01:36:44] Speaker C: And you must keep his superpowers covered up, Supergirl. [01:36:48] Speaker A: So this, this child that just arrived with superpowers, take him back to the orphanage. You go back to the orphanage. You look after him. I'm going to think of something to solve the problem. Right. [01:37:00] Speaker C: Okay. [01:37:00] Speaker A: Oh, and by the way, he's my successor, this child I just met flying in Metropolis. [01:37:07] Speaker B: This leads Credence to my favorite phrase, that kids ruin everything. [01:37:13] Speaker C: Yes. Hey, butler. So Supergirl spends a great deal of. [01:37:19] Speaker A: Time. [01:37:22] Speaker C: Obscuring Baby Buster's super deeds from children and adults around the orphanage. Until finally, a couple visits the orphanage and insists on adopting Baby Buster. [01:37:37] Speaker A: Ah, I can't believe this. [01:37:39] Speaker C: The adoptive mother slips Linda a note and says, supergirl. Well, first she says, psst, Supergirl, read this. Oh, no. She knows my secret identity. [01:37:51] Speaker A: And so she looks at the note and she says, it's Superman's genuine handwriting. But why would my cousin give away my secret existence along with that of the super child? Because it says, Supergirl, let Mr. And Mrs. Crandall. Oh, Crandall, adopt baby Buster. They know all about him. And you, Superman. [01:38:12] Speaker C: Later, after trial, adoption papers allow the Crandalls to drive away with a baby Buster. And Supergirl follows them into a swampy region. [01:38:22] Speaker B: And there is no seatbelt usage. On three. [01:38:26] Speaker C: Stop. [01:38:26] Speaker A: Mr. Crandall, why did Superman reveal the secret of my existence to you? The answer is simple, my dear. We are robots that Superman built. He lifts up his skull cap and there's gears underneath his head, or super brain. She lifts and Mrs. Crandall lifts up her sleeve, and she only has half a fleshy arm. [01:38:46] Speaker B: He was running low on materials, I guess so. [01:38:49] Speaker C: This next, however, is ridiculous. [01:38:53] Speaker A: Present stretches the limits of acceptable comprehension for this. What happens next? [01:39:01] Speaker C: Presently, the robots leave the baby with Supergirl and drive into a nearby bed of quicksand. [01:39:08] Speaker A: We're following Superman's instructions. Supergirl, you are to bring the baby to the Fortress of Solitude now, while we robots mysteriously disappear forever. They were created to go to the orphanage, fake adopt baby Buster, drive to the swamp and die so that she could take baby Buster. [01:39:28] Speaker C: Why can't they go back to the Fortress? [01:39:31] Speaker B: They're robots. They're on the bottom of that quicksand bog. Not dead, just there, living eternally. [01:39:40] Speaker A: In. In their car at the bottom of the bog with quicksand and happy about it. [01:39:45] Speaker C: Look at him. Wave bye bye. [01:39:49] Speaker B: I thought you would be happy to see a quicksand instance. [01:39:52] Speaker A: Well, I was at first, until I realized that their only purpose was to. [01:39:56] Speaker C: Fake adopt the baby and then drive into quicksand in their car and sink. [01:39:59] Speaker A: To the bottom of it forever. [01:40:01] Speaker B: You got very Soprano for that. [01:40:03] Speaker A: What a waste of resources. [01:40:05] Speaker B: So this panel, taking out of context, I said to Dr. Bob, this, none of this makes sense. Out of context. And he said, none of this makes sense in context. [01:40:18] Speaker C: Incidentally, Murph, my boyfriend in law, was astonished at. He's my sister's boyfriend, okay? Was astonished at the Superman film. He said, did. Is Superman a super genius all of a sudden? Is he Tony Stark? Why did he build all those robots? I said, murph, of course he's a super genius. He's Superman. Everything is super about him. [01:40:45] Speaker B: Yeah, this bothers me. Like, we have a mutual friend, Steve, who keeps saying, like, batman is the smart one and Superman's just Braun. And I'm like, superman's a genius. He's invented all this stuff. That's a surprise. It's always a surprise, kids. [01:41:01] Speaker C: All right. Supergirl flies to the fortress with the baby. Superman's plan is that she has to go there every night when Linda Lee is supposed to be sleeping. So she gets no rest. [01:41:13] Speaker A: She gets no rest. [01:41:14] Speaker C: What the hell is Superman doing all the time? [01:41:16] Speaker A: Well, he's only gonna come when he can, right? And of course he's pulling the dog. [01:41:20] Speaker C: Krypto to be the babysitter to be a super playmate. That'll work out great. [01:41:29] Speaker A: So they're like, okay, bye, Crypto. [01:41:31] Speaker C: Keep him here. [01:41:31] Speaker A: Krypto got him by the arm. [01:41:33] Speaker C: Yes, he's ordered to keep him from leaving the fortress. Alone in the fortress. Also not a great idea. The super tot soon tires of playing with Crypto and seeks other amusement among Superman's exhibits. Oh, how about these robots? I could play with them. Or these statues of the staff of the Daily Planchette. [01:41:53] Speaker A: He was gonna cross dress them. He puts Lois's dress on on Clark Kent and Clark Kent's suit on Lois. [01:42:00] Speaker B: Nothing says fun like a life sized model of Perry White. [01:42:07] Speaker C: Listen, you're scoffing, but I loved that Oscar Goldman doll in the 70s. The exploding briefcase. [01:42:14] Speaker B: Bionic Man's boss. Who needs that? [01:42:16] Speaker C: Also, this is drawn by Wayne Boring. So every character in the story already looks like a mannequin, right? So what's the difference? [01:42:25] Speaker B: Of course, you were also entertained as a child by the wizard of Oz Migo dolls. [01:42:29] Speaker C: Shut up, Chuck. Yes, what of it? [01:42:32] Speaker B: They were slightly more entertaining than the freaking Waltons action figures. [01:42:37] Speaker C: Oh, but I never had the Waltons though, yet. [01:42:42] Speaker A: Just let everybody. [01:42:42] Speaker B: Christmas is coming. Dr. Husband, I think you got your cue. [01:42:45] Speaker A: A Depression era set of dolls in a little mountain house. That sounds like fun. [01:42:52] Speaker B: Yeah, me too. [01:42:54] Speaker A: Let's all sit around the radio and watch the lights flicker. [01:42:57] Speaker B: Even the hated Little House on the Prairie was better than the Waltons. [01:43:00] Speaker A: Oh, my God, yes. [01:43:02] Speaker C: Well, you know the walls. Because Little House in the Prairie won the rerun war. You never see the Waltons anymore. You see Little House of the Perry 24 hours a day. [01:43:11] Speaker B: Yeah, most of us, most people don't know who the Waltons are. [01:43:14] Speaker A: Walton, a great theme song, right? [01:43:29] Speaker B: Take a nap. [01:43:32] Speaker C: So Supergirl arrives for her shift, bakes a giant cake. [01:43:36] Speaker A: She's never gonna sleep. [01:43:38] Speaker C: Meanwhile, far away on Bizarro World, Bizarro is in his own fortress. And he decides to send a supervision across space to Superman's fortress on Earth, then make some opposite of an exhibit there. But to his super surprise, he sees his son. Him not lost in space after all. Him arrive on Earth and insult to. [01:44:03] Speaker B: Injury, referring to Superman as Daddy Superman. [01:44:06] Speaker C: Yes, he's forgotten his real parents. I'm going to tell my wife, then go bring our son back home. [01:44:14] Speaker A: But Bizarro. Lois stops, heartbroken. Bizarro, our son is perfect baby. Which is against Bizarro code. Us must let him grow up among his own kind. SOB. [01:44:28] Speaker C: As the super tot falls asleep. Supergirl takes the chance to do her homework, which was assigned to Linda Lee's class today. She's gotta go watch a baby, not get any sleep and do her homework. [01:44:40] Speaker A: This girl's got. She's got a heart. [01:44:42] Speaker B: So this is. [01:44:43] Speaker C: Why didn't Superman build a fucking robot to do her homework for her? [01:44:48] Speaker B: She does have a Linda Lee robot. [01:44:51] Speaker C: That's true. [01:44:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Because later on the battle. [01:44:53] Speaker C: So why does she have to come at night? She can stay there all the time. [01:44:57] Speaker A: Why can't they have robots to take care of the baby? Why does the baby, you know, why does Lindell have to do all the work? [01:45:04] Speaker C: Because she's a woman. [01:45:05] Speaker B: So this is not drawn by Jim Mooney, am I right? I think this is. [01:45:09] Speaker C: No, it's Wayne Boring, I believe, or Al Postino. [01:45:13] Speaker B: But that skirt on Supergirl in that one mighty short, is way shorter than regulation should allow. [01:45:24] Speaker C: All right, she's doing her chemistry homework. She heats up a solution with her heat vision to save time, and suddenly it explodes. [01:45:31] Speaker A: The vial explodes, does no harm to Krypto or Linda. [01:45:39] Speaker C: Well, also, the chemicals were changed to an unknown super explosive, so this doesn't seem like well thought out homework to me. [01:45:49] Speaker B: She may need a couple more lessons. [01:45:53] Speaker C: She. The baby, however, has been affected. He has been turned into a Bizarro baby. [01:46:03] Speaker B: He's a freak. [01:46:04] Speaker C: His life is ruined and it's all my fault. [01:46:09] Speaker A: Which brings us into part three of this fantastic tale. [01:46:14] Speaker C: Strange indeed, were the events that brought the human like Bizarro Baby to Earth, only to suddenly turn into his true form like his parents. But even more amazing are the following twists of fate, as an imperfect double of Supergirl is created, which later leads to war between Earth and the Bizarro World. [01:46:31] Speaker B: So we're in a 60s plotting session and I, as your editor, say to you, this story is not batshit enough. What can you add to make it just over the top? [01:46:43] Speaker A: Let's do a Bizarro duplicate of Supergirl. Let's make her super protective of Bizarro Baby. Let's have Bizarro World get furious that Bizarro Baby is on Earth and declare war on Earth. And then let's also introduce Kryptonite. [01:47:09] Speaker B: Blue Kryptonite. [01:47:10] Speaker A: I want to give away the ending, but that's what I'm thinking. What do you think? Do you want to. Could he green light this? What do you think? [01:47:16] Speaker B: I think. I think it's green lighted. [01:47:18] Speaker A: All right, let's do it. [01:47:19] Speaker B: Now, they probably sat down and said, we want to. We want this story to be big. It's got to have Supergirl. Crypto, Super Baby, Bizarro and Superman. Yeah, let's stick him in. It's his title. [01:47:35] Speaker A: Yeah. And I be like, hey, should we bring in Comet? Bring comment? No, we have no comment yet. There's no comment yet. Attention. [01:47:45] Speaker C: All right, what about Streaky the Cat? [01:47:49] Speaker A: No. No, bro. [01:47:50] Speaker C: Supergirl has got to prevent Baby Buster from seeing himself. And so she hides the mirror from the world of Giants, which Superman has in the fortress. Now, this mirror is not. A mirror that big would not be out of the question in a decorator store. [01:48:09] Speaker B: It's what Laurie calls the mirror on my side of the bathroom. [01:48:12] Speaker A: The mirror of Giants. [01:48:15] Speaker B: Mirror for the world of giants. If you look at her bathroom, my mirror is like 5 inches higher than hers. [01:48:24] Speaker C: Meanwhile, baby Bizarro's curiosity is aroused by the original duplicator ray machine, invented by Luthor and now kept as a souvenir by Superman. And kept on and active, apparently, because why not? Baby starts pushing buttons, Supergirl accidentally flies through the ray and Bizarro Supergirl is created. Why is this damn Rey even there? [01:48:48] Speaker A: Why is the duplicator Ray in, like. [01:48:52] Speaker C: Why is it plugged in as a souvenir? [01:48:54] Speaker A: How can it be used? Like, what the hell? [01:48:57] Speaker B: I would argue there's no accident here. Supergirl is so dead tired of babysitting, and she's like, you know what I need? [01:49:03] Speaker A: Fuck it. [01:49:04] Speaker B: A duplicate. Everybody else gets to have a duplicate. [01:49:12] Speaker C: So the Bizarro Supergirl has Supergirl's memory, so she knows there's a Bizarro. [01:49:17] Speaker A: Oh, by the way, Supergirl's left. She's got to go back because why? [01:49:20] Speaker C: She's got class. [01:49:22] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:49:22] Speaker A: The battery in her Linda Lee robot is about to go down and she needs to go back and charge the. [01:49:30] Speaker B: Battery she leaves between panels. Yeah, it's. It's. [01:49:36] Speaker A: I only know this because of what it says right there. After Supergirl leaves an imperfect duplicate of her forms out of the molecular smoke. [01:49:43] Speaker B: There are certain characters that I'm against sexualizing, and Supergirl's one of them. In this Bizarro Supergirl, her skirt is half the size of what Supergirl's skirt was a couple pages ago. [01:49:56] Speaker A: Actually, we're looking at it from the front angle. It really. That really wouldn't cover the entire butt cheeks? [01:50:03] Speaker C: No, it doesn't. [01:50:04] Speaker A: I mean, look at it. You don't see it, but it truly would not cover the entire butt cheeks. [01:50:08] Speaker B: The colorist is working overtime with that shadow. [01:50:11] Speaker C: Yeah. Later, Superman arrives to see a double shock. How did the baby turn into Bizarro? And where did this Bizarro Supergirl come from? Hmm. I'll bet the baby tampered with Luthor's duplicator re which duplicate array which I left plugged in and active in my hall of Trophies. [01:50:33] Speaker A: Right. [01:50:34] Speaker B: And Supergirl just left. [01:50:36] Speaker C: Yes. Well, she didn't know, in fairness, that the Bizarro Supergirl had been created. [01:50:43] Speaker B: No. So she left a baby and a dog and a duplicate array alone in the fortress. [01:50:49] Speaker A: Yeah. So then, as the child, what is it named? Baby Buster. [01:50:55] Speaker C: Now it's Baby Bizarro. [01:50:56] Speaker A: Baby Bizarro sees his reflection in the cup. He says, face changed. [01:51:00] Speaker C: Good. [01:51:00] Speaker A: Now me look like my real mommy and daddy. [01:51:04] Speaker C: Why? That means his parents are Bizarro and Bizarro Lois. [01:51:08] Speaker A: Thanks, genius. [01:51:10] Speaker B: All that shit I said about you being my successor revoked. [01:51:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I never suspected it. While the baby looked human, why did. [01:51:17] Speaker C: Bizarro make a whole planet of other Bizarros? Why didn't he just make a planet of bizarre? Bizarro Lois is. And he be the only man he. [01:51:23] Speaker A: So what does he do? He opens the doors to his fortress and basically says, get out. He does. He goes. Baby Bizarro belongs among his own kind. And you, too, Bizarro Supergirl. Fly him to Bizarro World and stay there. [01:51:37] Speaker C: Get out. But on Bizarro World, his real parents would take him back. Choke. He very cute. Me love him. [01:51:45] Speaker A: Will she do? She doesn't want to take him Back to Bizarro World? No. So where does she take him? High in the mountains. [01:51:52] Speaker B: She is pathetically torn by her emotions. [01:51:56] Speaker C: She makes a fortress of Bizarro Supergirl in the mountains and makes a cradle out in the open air. But, of course, a lightning storm comes. It keeps the baby awake. Superman flies by. [01:52:11] Speaker B: This is early Robinson, parenting style. [01:52:15] Speaker C: Yes, yes. [01:52:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Put them in a crate. [01:52:18] Speaker C: You laugh when you say the baby's left alone with the dog, but that didn't do me any harm. [01:52:23] Speaker A: Well, Socks was your first babysitter. [01:52:25] Speaker C: Boots. [01:52:26] Speaker A: Boots. [01:52:28] Speaker B: Socks was the damn cat. [01:52:30] Speaker C: All right. Superman says, I've had enough. We are going to take this baby back to Bizarro World. But she's hugging him with a super hug. Superman can't get him free. [01:52:40] Speaker A: We don't say anything about shaken baby syndrome here. [01:52:43] Speaker C: Meanwhile, on the. She's made of chalk. How's he gonna be shaken? Meanwhile, in the Bizarro World, Bizarro checks once more with telescopic vision. Sees that his baby has become a Bizarro at last. And now Bizarro's gonna go get him. [01:53:03] Speaker A: But when the eager find father, Bizarro reaches Earth. So, like, this is all happening. [01:53:08] Speaker C: Like this is. [01:53:08] Speaker A: He sees him telescopically. He. Boom. He's at Earth in an instant. Where is Bizarro World? Is it right out in the neighborhood? [01:53:17] Speaker B: In the neighborhood? [01:53:20] Speaker C: I mean, what doesn't matter, Powers. He can cross vast distances of space in an instant. [01:53:25] Speaker A: I mean, he's. [01:53:26] Speaker B: He's. He reached. [01:53:27] Speaker A: He. He sees this and reaches Earth. He sees this from bizarre. From bizarre world and reaches Earth in an instant. [01:53:34] Speaker B: So that is true. But the satellite he found to put the baby in was very close to Bizarro World. [01:53:40] Speaker C: That's true. [01:53:41] Speaker B: And sent by Earth. [01:53:45] Speaker C: It's probably somewhere around the Lagrange point. [01:53:48] Speaker A: Okay, I'll have to sneeze. [01:53:53] Speaker C: Bless you. [01:53:53] Speaker A: Thank you. [01:53:56] Speaker C: Supergirl. Bizarro Supergirl says you are not good parents. When Bizarro arrives on Earth, you left him to become an orphan on Earth. Me be better mother to him. [01:54:07] Speaker A: Angrily, Bizarro uproots a tree and he's going to try to whack Supergirl. Bizarro Supergirl and I don't know, the baby away from Bizarro Supergirl. [01:54:17] Speaker C: Yes, but he's invulnerable. She's invulnerable. [01:54:19] Speaker A: They're all invulnerable. [01:54:21] Speaker C: Now, Bizarro assumes that Superman made Bizarro Supergirl so she could be the foster mother of baby Bizarro. And that means they're planning to keep him there on Earth. Superman tries to explain, but Bizarro is not having it. He said, bizarro World declares war on Earth. [01:54:42] Speaker B: I mean, knowing what we know, would you trust Superman? [01:54:49] Speaker A: Well, this is something. Remember, at one point, they all wanted to get the baby, get rid of. [01:54:57] Speaker C: It on Bizarro World. [01:54:59] Speaker A: Now they're forming an army to take back the baby. They're declaring war on Earth. [01:55:04] Speaker C: Yes. Superman sees the Bizarro army headed for Earth. Superman goes to the orphanage to warn Supergirl again. Why not just use super ventriloquism? [01:55:18] Speaker B: Right? [01:55:18] Speaker A: Luckily, she's charged the batteries in her Linda Danvers. [01:55:23] Speaker C: What does it take, like a double A? [01:55:25] Speaker A: I have no idea where the battery port, the charging port is. I have no. You know, I have no idea. [01:55:32] Speaker C: But luckily, she just sticks the pigtails into a socket. [01:55:35] Speaker B: There's fan fiction that covers that. [01:55:37] Speaker C: Pigtails into a socket. [01:55:39] Speaker A: What did you say? [01:55:40] Speaker B: I said, there's fan fiction that covers that. [01:55:45] Speaker C: Oh, my God. The Bizarro army is on the march. They're cleaving asteroids in two. The odds are a hundred to one, Supergirl. We're outnumbered. [01:55:57] Speaker B: So this is like if you stop for a minute and eschew all the crazy that's happened. This panel is actually kind of terrifying. [01:56:05] Speaker C: Yes, yes. [01:56:06] Speaker A: Superman and Supergirl could not take on this powerful army of Bizarro Supermen. Could not. [01:56:15] Speaker C: They could probably outwit them. [01:56:18] Speaker A: They could outwit them, but definitely not out strength them or out. [01:56:22] Speaker B: Yeah, but if they let them even get close to Earth while they're busy outwitting so much damage. [01:56:31] Speaker C: All right. They make one last try to get the baby away from Bizarro Supergirl. It's no good, but Superman has an idea. [01:56:40] Speaker A: I could not believe this. I've never seen this suit before. [01:56:47] Speaker C: Oh, no, no, no. Superman dons his leaden suit equipped with a special TV unit. [01:56:56] Speaker A: As you know, Supergirl, no holes are needed to let electronic impulses enter. Within this sealed suit suit, I can see the outside world, but I still have to fly slowly or the lead will melt from air friction. [01:57:06] Speaker C: He is Tony Stark. [01:57:07] Speaker B: So. So in 1960, the letter columns started with Mort Weisinger in the Superman comics. And kids would write in with all this crap, and they're like, why doesn't Superman just do a lead suit of armor? And then, boom, he's invulnerable to kryptonite. And the answer was always, we can't see. And then I don't know if it was 60 or 61, but they come up with this thing. And they show. There's a diagram of how it works. Like the camera comes into the belt buckle and shows a little TV screen to the face. I'll get that to you, Dr. Husband. I can see you're very interested. [01:57:46] Speaker C: You know it. All right. Superman leaves instructions with Supergirl. Then he flies into space, collects Kryptonite meteors, and assembles them on an asteroid, which is in the path of the oncoming Bizarro army. The instructions he left with Supergirl was to fling the duplicator ray to him in space. He aims the duplicator ray at the Green Kryptonite, which creates Bizarro Kryptonite, which is blue. Just as Superman hoped. It created imperfect Blue Kryptonite, which is not harmful to Superman, but is harmful to Bizarros. The Bizarro army retreats back to their own world to make a new plan. And Superman brings a chunk of Blue Kryptonite back to use on Bizarro's Supergirl Kraptonite. She has to let go of the baby. As soon as he recovers from the harmful effects of Blue Kryptonite, they plan to fly him back to Bizarro World. Bizarro Supergirl has also recovered, and she secretly follows them. And she's going to hide on an asteroid and use her telescopic vision to watch what they do with the baby. And then she's gonna sneak there later and get the baby back. Baby Bizarro is delivered to his overjoyed parents. And Superman decides to show Supergirl more of the odd Bizarro world before they head back to Earth. And they come upon a ramshackle shack out in the wilderness with a Bizarro couple living secretly in. Turns out they also had a baby who was also born looking human. And they moved away so that their friends never saw their disgrace of having a perfect child. You must know what that's like. Ch. Suddenly, as they are watching, the baby changes into a Bizarro instantly. It's not just magic, but a law. [02:00:19] Speaker B: Of nature with certain species of life. [02:00:24] Speaker A: Tadpoles metamorphosize, metamorphose or change into frogs. Caterpillars become butterflies. In the same way, your human like babies automatically change into Bizarro babies at a certain age. [02:00:35] Speaker C: So you're innocent, Supergirl. By pure coincidence, baby Bizarro's natural change came at the same time you did your chemical experiment. What a relief to know I wasn't responsible. [02:00:46] Speaker B: Not in that skirt, she's not. [02:00:47] Speaker C: Incident but she has another worry on her mind. If people on Earth glimpse the Bizarro Supergirl, they'll know she's the imperfect double of a human Supergirl. It'll give away my secret existence. [02:01:01] Speaker B: See, I would argue against that. That the people of Earth would be like, whatever the now. [02:01:06] Speaker A: Right. [02:01:07] Speaker B: There's now a Bizarro girl. Okay, okay. It's another Tuesday in Superman world. [02:01:12] Speaker A: But Supergirl finds the problem is solved. I was appalled by this panel. Why the problem is solved. As they pass the asteroid on which her pathetic duplicate had planned an ambush. Look, Superman. [02:01:26] Speaker C: Somehow Bizarro Supergirl blundered into her own death trap. [02:01:30] Speaker A: The radiation of the Bizarro Kryptonite turned her blue and snuffed out her life. She's dead. [02:01:36] Speaker C: Poor creature. It's better this way. [02:01:38] Speaker B: That's it. [02:01:39] Speaker C: That's it. Now remember, in this three, three issue. [02:01:43] Speaker A: Series, we had robots that were sent to adopt baby Buster, take him away. They voluntarily drove into quicksand to their demise. And now Bizarro Supergirl is. Well, it's problem solved. She's dead. [02:02:02] Speaker B: Yeah. So we were play acting before the editors got together and said, I want these elements in this story. And probably did a rough plotting session. But they don't want to have to do the work for. What happened to the two robots. Just put them in quicksand. [02:02:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:02:20] Speaker B: What happened to the Bizarro Supergirl? [02:02:23] Speaker C: I don't know. What time is it? Five o'. [02:02:24] Speaker B: Clock. [02:02:25] Speaker C: Yeah. She's dead. [02:02:26] Speaker A: She's hides in an asteroid, but she doesn't realize it's an asteroid that has Blue Kryptonite. She'll be dead. [02:02:31] Speaker B: They realize at this point, if they let her go back to Bizarro World, she's always going to be hounding Bizarro about keeping his baby. [02:02:38] Speaker A: Plus, there's no. There are no feet. Nor their females on Bizarro. Except Lois. Bizarro's right. [02:02:44] Speaker C: Right. But don't worry, Rob. There will soon be a whole Bizarro Justice League and a Bizarro Jimmy Olsen Bizarro Crypto. [02:02:53] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [02:02:54] Speaker C: Don't worry about it. [02:02:55] Speaker B: And Bizarro clip Tyl Skin. [02:02:57] Speaker C: Yes. [02:02:58] Speaker A: So later, as Supergirl resumes her daily guise as Linda Lee. I guess the robe that's been tucked away in the closet with the pigtails plugged into the wall. [02:03:09] Speaker C: Thank heavens they're only ordinary babies here in the nursery of Midville Orphanage. Now. Now I can work all day in the nursery and do my homework at night. [02:03:21] Speaker B: Because using my advanced robot would be cheating. [02:03:25] Speaker C: And Clark's back at the planet typing up a story. [02:03:28] Speaker A: How strange that the second super baby who appeared on Earth for a while, turned out to be a Bizarro super baby. [02:03:34] Speaker C: Well, now, in his imagination is a picture of Superbaby with a Superman emblem. But even when he himself was super baby, he didn't wear a Superman emblem. He just wore the blue playsuit with a cape. [02:03:46] Speaker B: Right. I think this last panel is interesting because of that and the two marks on the face that betray his emotions. And he's really bemoaning the fact that he lost a super successor. Yes, but we only see that in the art that's not covered in the thing. And he's like, well, crap. Now I'm stuck with Supergirl as my success. [02:04:10] Speaker A: He's incredibly intelligent, capable, wonderful cousin. [02:04:14] Speaker B: Right. [02:04:15] Speaker A: Who can absolutely take over for him someday. I mean, it's not like the age, you know, like he's going to live forever. Right? I mean. [02:04:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [02:04:23] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [02:04:24] Speaker C: She's. [02:04:25] Speaker A: He can't be. [02:04:26] Speaker C: Well, let's not. [02:04:27] Speaker A: She couldn't possibly be my partner. Let me lock her away in an orphanage. [02:04:32] Speaker B: God. [02:04:33] Speaker C: Plus, he has his sleeves rolled up. Where's his costume? [02:04:37] Speaker B: Oh, crap. I didn't even notice that. [02:04:40] Speaker A: It's probably vibrating at a super speed so that we can't see it. [02:04:43] Speaker C: That's a good call. [02:04:44] Speaker B: Right at this angle. There's also no proof that he's wearing pants. [02:04:50] Speaker C: Well, you know how those newsmen are. [02:04:53] Speaker A: He's probably got him hanging up in the closet from those hooks so that they can keep their creases. [02:04:58] Speaker C: Well, this story made a big impression on me as a child and I'm still enthralled to this very day. [02:05:05] Speaker B: Right. [02:05:06] Speaker A: So there's an awful lot of butterflies featured in this three parts. [02:05:09] Speaker C: Yeah. Why are there normal butterflies and frogs on Bizarro World? [02:05:13] Speaker A: Oh, crap. [02:05:14] Speaker B: What the hell did they put duplicate that they got normal? Yeah. This story is batshit. So. But you grew up with it. [02:05:26] Speaker C: Yes. [02:05:26] Speaker B: Did you grow up thinking it was just a story like a normal story? Or did you have any kind of feel for the fact of just how crazy it was? [02:05:35] Speaker C: I knew it was crazy. And in fact I took because I was also reading the Superman encyclopedia. So I took great pride in knowing things about Superman mythos that was not appearing in the context contemporary comics. Once I started reading Gotcha regularly. Like you never saw Bizarro world in the 70s or. [02:06:00] Speaker B: Right. [02:06:00] Speaker C: No, no, no, Comet. [02:06:02] Speaker B: We forgot all about those things. 68 hit superheroes were dying down. We're like, let's forget about the sillier stuff. [02:06:10] Speaker C: You did see Crypto, because he had a series in Superman Family of his own. [02:06:14] Speaker B: But so I did want to talk to you about a little bit of. Of the history here that no one else would be interested in. [02:06:20] Speaker C: I'm ready. [02:06:22] Speaker B: So early action comics in 1960s, there was the Superman stories, and there was Tommy Tomorrow, and there was Congorilla. [02:06:31] Speaker C: Yes. [02:06:32] Speaker B: Congo Bill. And then Congo. [02:06:33] Speaker C: Yes. [02:06:34] Speaker B: They invent Supergirl. [02:06:36] Speaker C: Yes. [02:06:36] Speaker B: They give her congorilla spots. So now it's Superman, Tommy Tomorrow, and. And Supergirl. [02:06:43] Speaker C: Yes. [02:06:43] Speaker B: They send Congorilla to Adventure and show one of the features there. Oh, yeah. He takes over Green Arrow's spot. And Green Arrow is regulated at just World's Finest. [02:06:57] Speaker C: Okay. [02:06:58] Speaker B: So they do that for a while, and then Mort finally figures out that longer stories are better stories. He kicks Tommy Tomorrow over to World's Finest and gives Supergirl twice the number of pages that she had. [02:07:12] Speaker C: Okay, so. [02:07:14] Speaker B: And that was good. More space. They could. They could elaborate on those things. But over in Adventure comics, when it's now Superboy, Con Gorilla, and Aquaman, they start thinking, well, you know, the longer stories are working in action. Let's try that in Adventure. And the idea was we are going to do one month of a longer Aquaman, so story and one month of a longer Congorilla story. And then this Bizarro phenomenon happens. And Mort Weisinger is thinking, bizarro is going to make me money. So Congorilla is off to the dustbin. [02:07:52] Speaker C: Yes. [02:07:53] Speaker B: Aquaman has his own book. [02:07:55] Speaker C: Yes. [02:07:57] Speaker B: But we're gonna. We're gonna put him in Detective right now for the time being, because he's popular enough and I don't want to lose sight of them. There's no space in World's Finest. We're going to put Aquaman in Detective comics. [02:08:10] Speaker C: Okay. [02:08:11] Speaker B: And then they put Adventure is now two stories, Superboy and Tales of the Bizarro World. And Aquaman hangs out into the. In Detective comics for a while, but he has his own book. I mean, we don't need to keep shuffling Aquan around, but we do, because eventually Detective gets the clue and increases the page count of Martian Manhunter. So Detective is now Batman and Martian Manhunter with longer stories, which is much better. I much improve. And they put Aquaman in World's Finest, even though he had his own book. And Green Arrow slowly fades away through the 60s until almost nothing. He would have been forgotten completely if he hadn't been in the. The Justice League. So Bizarro World, those letters, pages, they're like this is so popular. Everybody's writing in. Everybody loves the Tales of Bizarro World. Gone in less than a year. And it's an annoying humor driven strip. This story, I would argue is. Is vastly superior to anything in Tales of the Bizarro World. [02:09:14] Speaker C: And was it all just Bizarro and Lois? Yeah. [02:09:18] Speaker B: Well, and you know, we created Bizarro Mixius Piddlek. We. Here's a reason to create a bizarro Jimmy Olsen. And here's a reason to feature the Frankenstein's monster. It's inane stories that I. I can't bring myself to read, but I skim through them. [02:09:33] Speaker C: Yes. [02:09:34] Speaker B: And eventually they lose their slot to the legion of Superheroes. Thank God. [02:09:40] Speaker C: Is there a Bizarro Legion of Superheroes? [02:09:43] Speaker B: I don't know yet. There probably is. There probably is. I bet that's who who really made that freaking red kryptonite statue. It was Bizarro Phantom Girl the whole time. [02:09:55] Speaker C: Well, listener, please join us on our sister podcast Nerd Orchestra featuring Chuck and us a little bit. And you can find us right back here next week. You can rate and review us on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on social media at gogocheckpod, you can find Nerd Orchestra on Instagram at nerdorchestra, and you can find Chuck on Instagram quadcd. [02:10:27] Speaker B: That's right. [02:10:29] Speaker C: And you can find us right back here next week with our 301st episode. [02:10:37] Speaker B: Dr. Hosman, I'm proud of you for making it through this. [02:10:40] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you. I started to feel a nap coming on once I got to the bizarro story again. [02:10:46] Speaker C: Anything to add? Going once. [02:10:49] Speaker B: This was fun. [02:10:50] Speaker C: Going twice. Byeeee. [02:10:55] Speaker B: I keep missing my cue. [02:10:57] Speaker A: You don't have to be a politician. [02:11:00] Speaker C: You can change it all with a sin and disposition. So be heavy and spread it all around. If you find yourself a frowning just. [02:11:13] Speaker B: Turn it upside down. [02:11:17] Speaker A: When you wear a smile the world will shout hooray. [02:11:24] Speaker C: You gotta turn on the sunshine. You gotta give in one time you got gotta turn on the sunshine. [02:11:34] Speaker B: Push those blues away. [02:11:43] Speaker C: Man, this dialectic's too much.