Checkered Past Episode 7: Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane!

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. [00:00:01] Speaker B: Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay, let's go. [00:00:04] Speaker B: You know what to do. [00:00:05] Speaker C: The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go, go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1960. I'm Dr. Bob and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Superman's girlfriend, Lois Lane. 63 and 64. Cover date February 1966 and April 1966. Cover prices $0.12. Cover artist Kurt Schaffenberger. Edited by Mort Weisinger. Featuring the satanic schemes of Skull and the prisoner of Skull, writer Leo Dorfman. Artist Kurt Schaffenberger. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. Our guest today is a writer, actress, mother, wife, friend, mentor, ladies and gentlemen. She does it all and she has it all. And she even has an alliterative name, just like Superman's girlfriend, Lois Lane. Please welcome Jen George. [00:01:39] Speaker B: Hello, everyone. [00:01:40] Speaker A: Hello. [00:01:40] Speaker B: Welcome. Thank you. Happy to be here. [00:01:43] Speaker A: I'm so happy that we have a guest. [00:01:45] Speaker C: I know it's our first guest. Oh, I'm so excited. [00:01:47] Speaker B: I'm the first one. [00:01:48] Speaker C: Our first remote location. [00:01:49] Speaker A: That's true. [00:01:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:01:50] Speaker C: I feel just like Mary Tyler more in the opening credits when she's on remote location. [00:01:54] Speaker A: We won't have any dogs in the background. [00:01:56] Speaker C: No. [00:01:57] Speaker A: Yes. [00:01:57] Speaker C: Because Jen George is allergic to dogs. [00:01:59] Speaker B: She is. She also doesn't like them. Sorry. [00:02:01] Speaker C: Oh, that'll be awesome. Well, we'll see you next week. [00:02:04] Speaker B: Right. [00:02:06] Speaker C: Jen George? [00:02:07] Speaker B: Yes. [00:02:08] Speaker C: You were telling me before the show that you had never before in your life read a comic book. [00:02:12] Speaker B: This is the God's honest truth. This comic that we're talking about today is the very first comic I have ever read in all of my 40 some years. [00:02:21] Speaker C: That is a hell of a way to start. And you don't look 40, by the way. [00:02:24] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:02:25] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:02:26] Speaker A: That's amazing, honestly. Because as you know, I am just barely ahead of where we are right now. I haven't read these comics yet. I'm reading as we go along and this is a very good one for her to have. [00:02:36] Speaker C: You think so? There's so much going on. There's a lot. [00:02:39] Speaker A: It's awful. It's wonderful. [00:02:40] Speaker B: There's a lot to unpack in this one. I feel like the kitten club and all that stuff. [00:02:46] Speaker C: You didn't like. Not even Archie's. [00:02:48] Speaker B: No. Unless it was, like, the Bazooka gum. Unless we're counting those. [00:02:52] Speaker C: Joe. Bazooka. That doesn't really count. [00:02:53] Speaker B: Doesn't count. [00:02:55] Speaker C: And not even. How about newspaper comics? [00:02:58] Speaker B: Well, sure, of course there were newspaper comics. Everybody read Kathy. [00:03:01] Speaker A: So when we say these, like, oh, my God, so many words. It's like, Kathy ack. You know exactly what we're talking about. [00:03:06] Speaker B: I do. Because Bob also says that at work when he's reading. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. So of course I've read the Sunday comics. [00:03:13] Speaker A: Okay. [00:03:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:14] Speaker C: So you're not, like, you didn't just land on Mars and look. [00:03:19] Speaker B: Correct. Yes, but I've never read, like, an actual comic book. [00:03:23] Speaker C: Right, yes. Okay. [00:03:24] Speaker A: Fair family trivia here. Yes. I grew up. We didn't get the newspaper at home. And because we didn't have any money. And my grandmother used to send me clippings of the Sunday funnies from the Miami Herald. [00:03:36] Speaker B: Aww. [00:03:37] Speaker A: Yeah, for my birthday, she'd send me, like, she'd save them up for several months then. [00:03:40] Speaker C: Did you have to line your shoes with them? No, that's. Wish I'd thought saying that. Well, now, Jen. George. Yes, Bob? Is it safe to say that you were familiar with the character of Lois Lane? [00:03:57] Speaker B: Well, of course, of course. [00:03:59] Speaker C: Good. [00:04:00] Speaker B: I did love watching Christopher Reeva as Superman when I was little. Yeah. Yeah. I think he was probably, like, my first crush. Just if we're talking honestly. [00:04:10] Speaker C: Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. William Shatner was mine. [00:04:13] Speaker B: Sure. All right, that's fair. But, yeah, like, who didn't want to be Lois Lane? [00:04:17] Speaker C: Yeah, I didn't. [00:04:18] Speaker B: I kind of did. [00:04:19] Speaker C: Okay. [00:04:20] Speaker B: Yeah. So this was fun to read. [00:04:22] Speaker C: Good. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I like it. Who's the character that played the Six Million Dollar Man? [00:04:27] Speaker C: Lee Majors. [00:04:28] Speaker A: Sorry. He was my first crush. [00:04:30] Speaker C: Yeah, he was a good one too. [00:04:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:31] Speaker A: And then also the guy on Grizzly Adams. [00:04:36] Speaker C: Dan Haggerty. [00:04:36] Speaker A: Dan Haggerty, Yeah. [00:04:37] Speaker B: Mm. [00:04:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I never watched Christmas. It's hard to pull. [00:04:40] Speaker C: You're not missing much. [00:04:41] Speaker B: Well, I feel like that was just, like, a little tiny bit before I was old enough to watch tv. Not that I'm that much younger than the two of you. [00:04:49] Speaker A: Were you allowed to watch TV growing up? [00:04:51] Speaker B: I was, yes. [00:04:52] Speaker A: We have friends who weren't. [00:04:54] Speaker B: That's awful. That's an awful existence. I'm sorry for them. It is child abuse. Agreed. [00:05:00] Speaker C: So Lois lane, she had 100 some issues of her own comic before her comic and Jimmy Olsen's solo title were folded into Superman family in the 1970s. And also this comic is drawn by my favorite artist ever, probably Kurt Schaffenberger. [00:05:21] Speaker B: I am not familiar with Kurt. [00:05:23] Speaker C: I didn't think you would be. But he drew a lot of Lois Lane stories. [00:05:27] Speaker B: Okay. Did he draw both pieces? [00:05:30] Speaker C: Yes. [00:05:31] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:31] Speaker C: As well as the covers. [00:05:33] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:34] Speaker C: And he also did a lot of work on the original Captain Marvel, whom you'll remember more popularly as Shazam. [00:05:42] Speaker A: Yes. [00:05:43] Speaker C: That's not his name, though. That's just his magic word. [00:05:45] Speaker A: That's what he says. [00:05:46] Speaker B: Right, right. [00:05:47] Speaker C: That's what he says. Get it? See, I did that. And I like his artwork because it's cartoony, yet looks like it has dimension. [00:05:59] Speaker A: It does. [00:05:59] Speaker C: He does a good use of shadowing there. [00:06:02] Speaker B: They look like real people. [00:06:03] Speaker A: They do. [00:06:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:05] Speaker A: There's actually motion in this, which is nice. You get real staticy. [00:06:08] Speaker C: He likes motion. Well, what we do on the show, Jen George, is just go through the comic and offer our thoughts. [00:06:16] Speaker B: Yes. I've listened to all of your episodes. [00:06:19] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:06:19] Speaker B: You're welcome. [00:06:20] Speaker C: Have you rated and reviewed on itunes, as everyone should be doing? Of course. [00:06:23] Speaker B: I have five stars. [00:06:25] Speaker C: You followed us on social media. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Of course. I actually think I was. Your very first review. Probably. Yeah. [00:06:31] Speaker C: Yes. [00:06:31] Speaker B: You're welcome. Thanks. [00:06:33] Speaker A: See how it pays, folks? [00:06:34] Speaker B: Right? You get to be on the show. [00:06:36] Speaker C: Right. [00:06:36] Speaker B: Okay, maybe not all of you, but. [00:06:38] Speaker A: Well, you know, we have hundreds of these to do, I'm sure. [00:06:42] Speaker C: 535, to be exact. [00:06:43] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. And I know a certain metal expert who is very excited to be on the show coming up soon. [00:06:51] Speaker C: Jen George's husband is a metal expert. So the next time the metal men come around, he's on tape. [00:06:56] Speaker A: Think of the things we'll learn. [00:06:59] Speaker C: The COVID has Superman bursting out of the Daily Planet stockroom with his Clark Kent clothes in his hands. Lois and Lana are taken aback. Lana Lang, for those of you who don't know, was Superman's childhood sweetheart when he was Superboy. [00:07:15] Speaker B: Oh, I did not know that. [00:07:17] Speaker C: Yes. [00:07:17] Speaker B: That makes so much more sense. [00:07:19] Speaker A: And Lois is clutching her pearls, which is a classic. [00:07:24] Speaker C: Yeah. Superman essentially saying, I'll never marry either one of you because you are too stupid to recognize me as Clark Kent with just a simple pair of glasses. I always wondered about that, and now. [00:07:35] Speaker A: We get to explore that. [00:07:36] Speaker C: I kind of had a fantasy that Superman would propose to Lois, reveal his identity by taking off his glasses, and she would say, you dumbass. I've known for years. [00:07:49] Speaker B: Like, who didn't know? You think your little hair curl in the glasses didn't give it away? [00:07:53] Speaker C: We've all been covering for you. The entire staff of the Daily Planet. Covering your ass for 50 years. [00:07:58] Speaker A: Emptying your trash can, making coffee. [00:08:01] Speaker C: Making sure nobody goes to the stock room when you're in there alone. Right. Well, it's the story they've never dared to publish before. That's what the COVID says. Page one. [00:08:13] Speaker A: We call this the splash page. [00:08:15] Speaker B: Okay. I'm learning things today. [00:08:18] Speaker A: I've been learning too, I bet. [00:08:21] Speaker C: Lois is recoiling in horror as a television monitor shows her a red skeleton lighting candles in the shapes of Lois, Superman, Lana, Jimmy Olsen and Perry White. Jimmy Olsen and Lana are half melted already. [00:08:40] Speaker A: Yeah, they've been burning for a while. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Looks that way. [00:08:43] Speaker C: And the red skull skeleton exclaims, just as the flames destroy these waxen images of Superman and his friends, so shall we destroy them in reality. Is that how that works? [00:08:56] Speaker A: Is that like voodoo? [00:08:57] Speaker B: It is like voodoo, yeah. Can we talk about what it says at the top of this comic? [00:09:01] Speaker C: Yes. [00:09:01] Speaker B: Okay. As a female, it bothers me that the very first thing they say about Lois is that she's pretty. Followed by. And impetuous. [00:09:12] Speaker C: Right? [00:09:13] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:15] Speaker B: Ugh. That's all I have to say about that. Well, I mean, I get it. Lois is pretty, she's impetuous. But did we have to say that first? Could we say intelligent, witty, reporter. [00:09:28] Speaker C: We could have. [00:09:29] Speaker B: Impetuous. Whatever. [00:09:31] Speaker A: Anyway, they continue to. To speak about her, they said, and follows that cute nose of hers. Right smack into the deadliest anti Superman plot never cooked up. [00:09:39] Speaker C: Well, let's back up. First, she's famous for the wild and weird adventures she's stumbled into. She's a reporter, Right. I feel like if she's just stumbling into stories that she's not a very. [00:09:53] Speaker A: Good reporter has really bad luck. [00:09:55] Speaker B: Right. She should be seeking these things out. [00:09:58] Speaker A: Right? [00:09:58] Speaker C: Right. Well, she's going to go snooping again. Again, as one guess that's her job. [00:10:03] Speaker A: But she gets paid to snoop. [00:10:05] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm getting angry the more this. [00:10:07] Speaker B: Right. [00:10:08] Speaker C: Yeah, I read. [00:10:09] Speaker B: Isn't it irritating? Okay, I get it was 1966. Yeah. But come now, Right? Yeah. [00:10:15] Speaker C: We go to the first actual page of story and we see that Perry White, who's the editor of the Daily Planet. [00:10:22] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:10:22] Speaker C: Has been appointed as a senator. [00:10:24] Speaker A: He's kind of thick around the middle. [00:10:27] Speaker C: Well, he's also wearing 19th century morning coat. [00:10:31] Speaker B: Yeah. What is that about? [00:10:32] Speaker C: In a top hat. [00:10:33] Speaker A: Because apparently that when you're a senator in the 1966. [00:10:37] Speaker C: 1966. Well, now, Jen is a color costume sign. She can tell us about this. Is that what senators wore in 1966? [00:10:43] Speaker B: No, he's dressed more like William Howard taft. Like circa 1918. Whatever. [00:10:48] Speaker C: Did you know he was the fattest president? [00:10:50] Speaker B: He was. I did know that. I did know that. But this dude looks like he's drawn as William Howard Taft. With the striped pant and the ascot and the flower in his lapel and the waistcoat. Like the double breasted waistcoat, by the way. [00:11:04] Speaker A: Ascot races or the Kentucky Derby. [00:11:07] Speaker C: No, he's going right to Washington. [00:11:08] Speaker B: He's going to be a senator. Like he's going to the floor of Congress. Yeah. So he should be wearing just a regular old suit. But he's dressed like he's going to a garden wedding. [00:11:18] Speaker A: Teddy Kennedy didn't even wear that noose. Didn't wear this. [00:11:24] Speaker B: He looks straight at ridiculous. [00:11:27] Speaker C: Maybe it's a fancy dress. [00:11:28] Speaker B: Maybe it's a fancy dress. [00:11:30] Speaker A: It's a costume speech. [00:11:32] Speaker B: That's a. You know what? He made a choice, Right? Yeah. We have to respect that choice. [00:11:37] Speaker C: Now he missed his plane, so Superman has to fly him to Washington in his tuxedo. [00:11:42] Speaker A: He gets a personal flight from Superman. [00:11:44] Speaker C: Sure, why not? To be replaced as editor by handsome, dashing Van Benson. [00:11:50] Speaker B: Raoul Meow. Yes. [00:11:53] Speaker C: He's the former head of National News Service, so it's. [00:11:56] Speaker A: Would you qualify for the job? [00:12:00] Speaker C: Lois thinks I hate to see an outsider get the job. Because, I mean, honestly, Lois should probably be editor. [00:12:06] Speaker A: She could, but it's. [00:12:07] Speaker B: Right. That was like a little bit passive aggressive. [00:12:10] Speaker C: Yeah, like a little. [00:12:12] Speaker B: Just a skouch. [00:12:14] Speaker C: But she continues, it might be fun taking orders from a dreamboat like that. [00:12:19] Speaker A: You know? What is that about? I hate to see an outsider get the job. But it might be fun taking orders from a dream boat. [00:12:26] Speaker B: But he's hot, so it's cool, so it's fine. Right, right, right, right. [00:12:30] Speaker A: I'm just a girl. [00:12:32] Speaker B: Right. Well, she certainly can't think for herself now. I mean, come on, that would be ridiculous. I mean, look, he is drawn very well. He's got a nice chiseled jaw. [00:12:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:44] Speaker A: But a very neat mustache. [00:12:46] Speaker B: Knowing what I know about Lois, I don't feel like she would feel that way. You know what I mean? Like she's not taking orders from anybody. [00:12:56] Speaker C: Or she would pretend to take orders and then do whatever she wanted, then. [00:12:59] Speaker B: Do whatever she felt like. Yeah. [00:13:01] Speaker C: Van Benson. Raging, raging, raging. Yelling at everyone in the audit office. But then, call that journalism, you dimwits. You dimwits. But as the day ends. Afraid I was pretty rough on you today, Ms. Lane. I'd like to square it. How about having dinner with me? [00:13:20] Speaker B: Oh, ick. [00:13:23] Speaker A: And even worse, where does he take her to dinner? The Kitten Club. [00:13:28] Speaker C: I'm new to office life. Is that necessarily harassment if you're asking someone to dinner as a supervisor to underlay. [00:13:38] Speaker B: Yeah. So on his first day of work, I would feel like, yes, that is not okay. [00:13:43] Speaker C: Okay. [00:13:44] Speaker B: But also, I mean, it is the 60s, right. And that was before we had sexual harassment laws. So at the time, it was expected, maybe. [00:13:54] Speaker C: Okay. [00:13:55] Speaker B: I don't know. Is it okay? No. Especially not since he takes her to the Kitten Club, which is essentially like the Playboy Club. [00:14:05] Speaker C: Right. [00:14:05] Speaker A: Girls dressed up in scantily clad little black leotards and fishnet hose with little ears. [00:14:12] Speaker B: Picture Playboy bunny, except with kitten ears. [00:14:14] Speaker C: Right? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Lois looks lovely. Except in this middle panel, there's something odd. Misprint thing. It looks like she has a tattoo on her. [00:14:23] Speaker B: Right. And also she looks like she's in her 60s in that panel very differently. She does. [00:14:28] Speaker A: It's the drawing of her cheekbone up off her lips. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:14:32] Speaker A: The angle and then the little shading under her eye. [00:14:34] Speaker B: Yeah, it looks like wrinkles. [00:14:35] Speaker A: Now, standing in for this panel, Joan Crawford. [00:14:37] Speaker B: Exactly. Like old Joan Crawford. [00:14:39] Speaker C: Nuts. [00:14:40] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:14:41] Speaker C: And is that a fall? Where did all that hair come from? [00:14:44] Speaker B: It has to be a fall. It has to be. Okay, that's a piece. [00:14:48] Speaker C: Is that common in the. [00:14:49] Speaker B: Oh, it totally was. That was a huge thing. In fact, I'll bring my mother into this. She showed me her junior prom picture one year, and she is wearing the craziest, like, bouffant wig. [00:15:01] Speaker C: Excellent. [00:15:02] Speaker B: It's this blonde bouffant wig, and she looks ridiculous. I love you, mom, but. And she was like, well, everybody wore those back then. And I'm like, really? Yeah, yeah, they totally did. [00:15:14] Speaker A: My mom, I remember growing up, she had this brunette, sort of part wig. I never quite understood what it was. It was something that basically was just, like, went on the back of your head. And as a child, of course, now I understand that it was an accessory. You do put a little thing in. [00:15:29] Speaker B: Your head, and those are back. Now, like, women use those little. Not like a full bouffant wig like my mother, but a little, like, piece that you would sit, like, to make your ponytail longer or to give yourself a bun. We use them a lot in shows. [00:15:41] Speaker A: It's like a. My pillow for your head. [00:15:42] Speaker C: I'm in. [00:15:43] Speaker B: You don't want to sleep in it. It's not really comfortable. [00:15:45] Speaker C: I know. Pins and Things. [00:15:47] Speaker B: You have to pin it. Yeah, it's a whole thing. Being a girl is gross. [00:15:51] Speaker C: Women have it so hard. [00:15:53] Speaker B: We really do. We do. But can we just talk about. Okay, yeah. So this are we. I'm skipping ahead to this panel where he's with the coat check girl who's in her little cat outfit and he's flirting up a storm with this girl because she wants a good tip. Right, right. Okay. Lois is getting all her panties in a bunch. And I just want to say, Lois, like, get ahold of yourself. Right, Right. [00:16:18] Speaker A: I mean, this is your first day with this guy. He's taking you out to dinner and. [00:16:21] Speaker B: He'S taking you out. You've been together 5. Right. Of course he has other women. [00:16:25] Speaker A: And isn't she dating Superman? [00:16:27] Speaker B: No, I don't think so. It didn't seem that way. [00:16:29] Speaker C: Not an official status. She wants him to marry her immediately, but. [00:16:35] Speaker B: Well, I mean, who doesn't, right? He's Superman. [00:16:38] Speaker A: He's Superman. He's made of steel. [00:16:43] Speaker C: Another temptress approaches their table. She's been calling. [00:16:49] Speaker B: I was gonna say that. And see, she's got a fallen bun in, too. [00:16:53] Speaker A: And she does look kind of severe. [00:16:55] Speaker C: Right. I wouldn't call her either. [00:17:00] Speaker A: But she lands a good slap on Lois. [00:17:02] Speaker C: I'll say. [00:17:03] Speaker B: What? [00:17:04] Speaker C: That is a great drawing. [00:17:06] Speaker A: It is. [00:17:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:08] Speaker C: I'll put that in the show notes. [00:17:10] Speaker A: What is drawn underneath? Slap in. In the letters there. [00:17:15] Speaker C: That's her earring. Lois earring. [00:17:17] Speaker A: Oh, I see it now. Okay. [00:17:18] Speaker B: That's just like the motion of her earring flying away. [00:17:21] Speaker A: That is great. Look at his hand. No, don't. [00:17:24] Speaker B: Yeah, he's really making an effort to stop this cat fight in the Kitten Club. [00:17:28] Speaker A: So he buys her a stuffed animal. [00:17:30] Speaker C: Right. [00:17:31] Speaker B: Okay. The stuffed tiger is not going to make up for the fact that Lois. [00:17:37] Speaker A: Just got beat up by a stranger. [00:17:40] Speaker B: Right. [00:17:41] Speaker A: She hasn't even had dinner yet. [00:17:42] Speaker B: No. They haven't even sat down. And now he's giving her this stupid stuffed tiger. [00:17:48] Speaker A: Let's just pause for a second. [00:17:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:49] Speaker A: This is the first day she's met her boss. [00:17:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:52] Speaker B: First day. [00:17:52] Speaker A: He's been an asshole to her all day. He takes her out to dinner, she agrees to go. First of all, they go to the Kitten Club. He flirts with every single woman he encounters. Then they go to sit down and she's accosted by this stranger that he's apparently has been calling him and he hasn't called her back. And she assaults her. She slaps her. [00:18:13] Speaker B: Why were the police not called? [00:18:14] Speaker A: And walks away. [00:18:15] Speaker C: And why isn't she slapping him? [00:18:18] Speaker B: Right. [00:18:19] Speaker C: Holding her back. [00:18:20] Speaker B: She didn't do it. Is that her fault? [00:18:22] Speaker C: Right? [00:18:25] Speaker B: This guy. Are we allowed to curse on this? Because I feel like I might. [00:18:29] Speaker A: I think we draw this an explicit warning on here. [00:18:32] Speaker B: You said. You did say the F word one time. I remember. Okay. There's an E. Okay, good. [00:18:37] Speaker C: So Lois gets a stuffed tiger as. [00:18:40] Speaker A: What the hell is she gonna do with that? [00:18:41] Speaker B: Right. [00:18:42] Speaker A: Sit on her shelf. So gather dust. Sure. [00:18:44] Speaker B: And it's like not little. [00:18:46] Speaker C: Right. [00:18:48] Speaker A: Of a domestic cat. [00:18:51] Speaker C: She put her on her desk at work. You should be my desk. [00:18:54] Speaker B: Here's my favorite. Is that we'll call her. Like the cigarette girl is just walking around with a box of stuffed tiger. [00:19:01] Speaker C: Right. [00:19:02] Speaker B: Like that's their thing. [00:19:04] Speaker C: Okay, well, here we. [00:19:06] Speaker A: I sense a cat fight over at table 10. [00:19:07] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:08] Speaker A: I'll get my tigers. [00:19:09] Speaker B: Let me get the tigers so we can make it all better here. [00:19:12] Speaker C: We get the night's entertainment. Tamara, the lady of the lash, she is dressed as a bolero dance. No. Is that what I'm trying to say? Bolero dancer. [00:19:23] Speaker B: She's wearing a bolero jacket. [00:19:25] Speaker C: Bolero jacket. [00:19:26] Speaker A: Yes. Like a matador. [00:19:28] Speaker B: Like a flamenco dancer. No. [00:19:31] Speaker C: They have, like, the ruffians. Cowboys. [00:19:33] Speaker A: Gauchos. [00:19:34] Speaker C: Gauchos dressed as a gaucho. [00:19:36] Speaker B: Gaucho pants. [00:19:37] Speaker C: Two whips. And that's her actual. [00:19:40] Speaker A: Now, what do you imagine the music is playing in the background? [00:19:43] Speaker C: Something like this. I'm picturing Ethel Smith on organ. [00:19:50] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:51] Speaker C: You don't know who that is? [00:19:52] Speaker B: I don't know who that is. [00:19:53] Speaker A: Yes, I do. [00:19:53] Speaker C: Okay. It's Ethel Smith playing Tico Tico. [00:20:00] Speaker A: And the whole band's all around her. [00:20:01] Speaker C: I'll put that as background music. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Yes. Good. [00:20:03] Speaker C: In post production, she's whipping people's cigarettes out of their mouths. Whipping people's corsages off of their bosoms. Oh, and she even snaps the spectacle case from Van Benson's breast pocket. I mean, all part of the act. He says. Not worried about brilliant. [00:20:23] Speaker B: I'm not worried about that at all. The little old lady in the bottom of that page is giving the most amazing face I've ever seen. [00:20:31] Speaker C: I love it. She looked like Mrs. Kravitz on Bewitched. And remember that I made a Bewitched reference because it'll come back at the end of the episode. [00:20:39] Speaker B: Okay. [00:20:42] Speaker C: I feel like all of a stink face. [00:20:44] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:20:45] Speaker C: Like, I feel like all of these people are probably based on actual people. [00:20:48] Speaker B: Like real people. I'm sure. Yeah. Because especially the guy in the blue suit, like, he looks like somebody's dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I'm gonna give you a shout out. Yeah. [00:20:58] Speaker C: The guy with the cigar Looks like Mr. Mooney on the Lucy Show. [00:21:01] Speaker B: He does. [00:21:03] Speaker C: So the coat girl brings Van Benson's glasses and gives them to Lois. She needs to check them to make sure they're not broken. And what does she find? [00:21:14] Speaker A: She finds a secret message inside the glasses. [00:21:18] Speaker C: One lens has a picture of Superman dying under the rays of green kryptonite. The other lens has something lettered on it that she can't make out. Now, we've seen already depictions of super beings being killed by kryptonite that someone has either drawn or photographed somehow. I don't know where I'm going with that. It just seems unusual that if you have an underground secret club of people dedicated to the death of Superman. [00:21:49] Speaker A: Would. [00:21:49] Speaker C: Your emblem be the actual death of Superman? [00:21:54] Speaker A: Just in case something like a messaging problem, maybe they've got a new person running the marketing division of Skull. And therefore, that person is saying, you know, I really think that we should have a very clear, deliberate symbol which sums up without any hesitation whatsoever, our mission. [00:22:14] Speaker B: Many, but. [00:22:16] Speaker C: Right. [00:22:17] Speaker B: We have to come back to this when we get to part two, because they're different, the necklaces. Oh, wait, we'll come back to that. [00:22:25] Speaker C: No, no, it's okay. [00:22:25] Speaker A: I do that all the time. [00:22:26] Speaker B: The necklaces are different that they end up wearing. You'll see. [00:22:29] Speaker C: Okay. [00:22:30] Speaker A: Okay. [00:22:31] Speaker C: I mean, I'm just wondering, like, maybe just the Superman symbol with a X through it. [00:22:36] Speaker B: Like, with a don't symbol. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:22:41] Speaker C: Not an actual picture of Superman dying. [00:22:44] Speaker B: Right, right. [00:22:46] Speaker C: The organization, by the way, is called skull. S K U L S, K period U period L period. The Superman Killers Underground League. That's an awkward acronym. [00:22:56] Speaker B: It's a lot. Yeah, that's a mouthful. [00:23:01] Speaker C: Van gets his glasses back. Lois goes to the office the next day. [00:23:04] Speaker A: Before we. Before we skip this panel, I just want to look at the bottom left panel there. [00:23:07] Speaker C: Yep. [00:23:08] Speaker A: I love how she's drawn with her eyes. [00:23:11] Speaker B: Yes. Like she just cannot get enough of him. [00:23:14] Speaker C: She looks just like Lucy Arnaz in that panel. [00:23:19] Speaker B: Okay, okay. [00:23:21] Speaker C: Does anybody know who Lucy Arnaz is? It's Lucille Ball's daughter. [00:23:26] Speaker B: I was going to say she has to be Disney and Lucy's daughter. [00:23:29] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Right. [00:23:30] Speaker B: Okay. I don't have a reference in my brain for what she looks like. [00:23:33] Speaker C: Well, we'll go with the old people in the audience. [00:23:37] Speaker A: Not everyone spends whatever free time they Have? Watching old movies. [00:23:41] Speaker B: This is true. [00:23:42] Speaker C: Oh really? [00:23:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:43] Speaker B: Contrary to popular belief, my people are out there. They are. And they're listening. [00:23:48] Speaker A: They are? [00:23:48] Speaker C: Uh huh. [00:23:49] Speaker A: All three of them. [00:23:50] Speaker C: Lois Breezes. Lois Breeze is into the office queen. [00:23:56] Speaker B: Of the world with her bitchy resting face on. Thank you very much. Yes, she is. [00:24:02] Speaker A: Is that Jimmy Olsen in the background? [00:24:03] Speaker B: Yes. [00:24:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:24:04] Speaker C: Clark Kent. Ah, the office queen. How does it feel to date the boss? [00:24:08] Speaker A: Well, the word's gotten out, hasn't it? [00:24:10] Speaker B: You know what, Clark? Don't be. Don't be an asshole to Lois. [00:24:17] Speaker C: Right? [00:24:18] Speaker B: She went on a pot. [00:24:19] Speaker C: Right. [00:24:19] Speaker B: She went on a date. You have not asked her out. Don't be a turd. [00:24:25] Speaker C: Oh, look at this. Lois is sneaking into his office to Band's office. To snoop for clues. Which again, is her job. [00:24:37] Speaker B: Right. [00:24:37] Speaker C: She's a reporter. [00:24:38] Speaker B: Maybe not to spy on your boss. [00:24:40] Speaker C: Well, if she thinks something's up, is that not. [00:24:42] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I guess she's got the glasses. [00:24:44] Speaker C: Right? [00:24:45] Speaker B: Starting point. [00:24:45] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:24:46] Speaker B: All right. [00:24:47] Speaker C: She finds a book with a hidden compartment in it with all kinds of merchandise. [00:24:52] Speaker A: And all the merchandise has the same symbol. [00:24:54] Speaker C: Yeah, Superman dying. [00:24:55] Speaker B: Right. And look what's left in the drawer. A solitary little pink comb. [00:24:59] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't catch that. [00:25:04] Speaker B: Wow, I just saw that. That's hilarious. Okay. [00:25:09] Speaker C: Another pair of glasses. Or maybe it's the same pair. But now she can read the message that says, meeting tomorrow, 3pm at headquarters. Attend without fail. That sounds like a schoolyard challenge. Bike rack, three o' clock. [00:25:22] Speaker B: Be there, be square. [00:25:24] Speaker C: Here comes Van. Van is heading out for a meeting of the Editors Association. I just did air quotes. I won't be back today. I can tell you now that I've been working in an office for 90 days. That happens all the time. People just say, I'm leaving. I won't be back today. Really? [00:25:41] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:25:42] Speaker C: They'll send an email out. [00:25:44] Speaker B: I'll be OOO for the rest of the day. [00:25:46] Speaker C: That means out of office. [00:25:47] Speaker B: Out of office. [00:25:49] Speaker C: So Van's going to his Editors association meeting. Lois is gonna tail him. [00:25:53] Speaker B: I love her eyebrows in this panel. Just saying. I would wish mine looked like that. [00:25:59] Speaker A: So swoopy. [00:25:59] Speaker B: I love it. [00:26:01] Speaker A: So she gets out of the building and loses him right away. [00:26:06] Speaker C: No, she doesn't. She follows him to the hotel and dresses as a bellhop. [00:26:09] Speaker B: Right. Then she dresses as a boy. Shocking. Cause the only good disguise is a boy disguise. [00:26:15] Speaker A: But Lois's plan misfires. Some Sherlock I am. I've lost him already. [00:26:18] Speaker C: Oh, I see the words. I'm just looking do you not read the words? [00:26:25] Speaker B: She could. So, yeah. Okay, so she lives. [00:26:27] Speaker A: Where did she get the bellhop costume? [00:26:29] Speaker B: That's what I would like to know. Right? So she's got this tray of food in this bellhop costume, which, by the way, the way she's drawn, anybody would know that was a girl underneath that outfit. Thank you very much. But this doorman is just like. No, I'll let you in. Sure. [00:26:45] Speaker A: I just want to remind you she was slapped by a stranger last night at dinner. [00:26:48] Speaker B: Right. Let's all sh. [00:26:50] Speaker A: This resourceful woman who found a bellhop costume and a lunch and tricks her way into this guy's apartment and is snooping around was slapped by a stranger. [00:26:57] Speaker B: Last night at dinner and didn't do anything about it. [00:27:01] Speaker C: Right. She tried to. She was born after that girl. [00:27:04] Speaker B: She did get a tiger. She did get a tiger. So where's the. [00:27:08] Speaker A: She didn't bring it to work the next morning. She was trying toss in the trash. It was too big to go in her handbag. [00:27:14] Speaker C: It was. She snoops around his apartment, opens his cigar box, and finds a secret control scanner thing which turns on the television, which is opened out of a secret panel out of the wall. Normal apartment 60s. [00:27:28] Speaker B: Sure, sure, sure. [00:27:30] Speaker C: Now, we see this. [00:27:31] Speaker A: Remote controls. Back then, because we had remote controls. [00:27:33] Speaker B: Yeah. They used the words remote control later on, and I actually thought that I was like, oh, wait. Yeah. But they called it a clicker. Right. Didn't they call it the clicker? [00:27:41] Speaker C: Right. And I believe it had a cord that stretched across the room. [00:27:44] Speaker B: So technically not remote. [00:27:46] Speaker C: Right? Yeah, of course. [00:27:48] Speaker A: Lex Luthor had that damn video phone that you can see across the face. [00:27:51] Speaker C: I was going to talk about the technology here. Because she can see, using this clicker and the monitor screen, she can see into police headquarters. She punches another button and she sees NORAD or something. The Pentagon. Monitoring the Pentagon. A third button. She's in Superman's Fortress of Solitude. [00:28:14] Speaker B: How exactly does one get these cameras into the Pentagon? The Fortress of Solitude. I can understand everything and go undetected. [00:28:25] Speaker C: Right. [00:28:25] Speaker A: I can understand everything but the Fortress of Solitude. [00:28:27] Speaker B: Okay. [00:28:28] Speaker A: You know, I mean, like, that's a secret location, Right? [00:28:30] Speaker B: Like, nobody knows where that is. [00:28:31] Speaker C: Except Superman. [00:28:32] Speaker A: Except Superman. [00:28:33] Speaker C: And then. [00:28:33] Speaker A: And he. What is he doing? Playing with his toys. [00:28:35] Speaker C: He looks like he's making a ham radio. [00:28:39] Speaker B: He's got, like, a crystal ball. [00:28:40] Speaker C: Does he have one? [00:28:42] Speaker A: What? Is one in his bathroom? [00:28:44] Speaker B: Does he have a bathroom? Does Superman need a bathroom? [00:28:46] Speaker A: How does he shave? [00:28:48] Speaker B: I don't think he has to. [00:28:49] Speaker C: He doesn't have to shave because his beard doesn't grow. But if he's ever under red sun energy or affected by kryptonite, then his beard will grow. And then he has to hold a mirror and aim his heat vision at the mirror, and so it bounces back onto his beard and burns. [00:29:02] Speaker B: So he cauterizes his face. Ouch. [00:29:05] Speaker A: With his eyes. [00:29:05] Speaker C: With his eyes. Yeah. [00:29:06] Speaker A: He's had a lot of practice, so I guess putting his name on a plaque is no big deal for him. [00:29:11] Speaker B: Yeah, that's also that, like, that is knowledge that you have. [00:29:15] Speaker C: Oh, did I shut my hand a little bit? I'll also point out in that top panel, in the background of the Fortress of Solitude is the bottle city of Kandor, which, as everybody knows, was shrunk on the planet Krypton before its destruction by Brainiac. And Brainiac had it in this bottle, and Superman got it and now struggles all the time to find a way to grow the inhabitants. [00:29:38] Speaker B: So is that what he's doing with this crystal ball contraption? [00:29:40] Speaker C: It could be. I don't. I rather think that it's just Kandor in the background and he's doing something else. [00:29:47] Speaker A: Not to dwell too much. [00:29:48] Speaker C: You know how men are on previous issues. [00:29:50] Speaker A: I just want to say for anyone listening out there, just if you're listening to this podcast and you're looking for something to do, try spelling your name on an imaginary plaque in front of you with your eyes. It's actually quite hard. I've been doing that as Bob's been talk. [00:30:02] Speaker C: Really? Yeah. [00:30:03] Speaker A: I've been looking at the desk trying. [00:30:04] Speaker B: To spell the name Robert. [00:30:05] Speaker A: It's like, really hard. [00:30:07] Speaker C: It's not working very well, by the way. If you want to talk to the audience, it's best to say, all you people out there in radio land, okay. [00:30:15] Speaker B: Is that the accepted vernacular? [00:30:16] Speaker C: Yeah. I learned that in college on the radio station. [00:30:18] Speaker A: Oh, I've heard recordings of you on your college radio station. [00:30:22] Speaker C: I hate you so much right now. [00:30:23] Speaker A: It doesn't sound like this. [00:30:25] Speaker B: I would love to hear that. [00:30:27] Speaker A: No, you don't. [00:30:29] Speaker C: It took me a long time. [00:30:30] Speaker A: I used to listen to them. [00:30:31] Speaker C: Shut up. [00:30:32] Speaker A: Go to sleep. [00:30:33] Speaker B: Oh, I was the anchor of the 12 o' clock newscast. [00:30:37] Speaker C: I loved doing the news, but that was my voice for everything that I did. So a very sedate and bizarre voice. [00:30:45] Speaker B: Oh, good times. [00:30:45] Speaker C: Even on a music show. Yeah. No, it wasn't. [00:30:48] Speaker A: But you've come into your own now. [00:30:49] Speaker B: I certainly animated and fun. [00:30:53] Speaker C: Well, I'm drunk, so. [00:30:57] Speaker B: I'm getting there. [00:30:59] Speaker C: Lois. Reporter Lois. Where Did Benson get this fantastic monitor which can spy on the top secret security centers of the Earth? I don't know. Lex Luthor, who has that same technology which he uses all the time. Now she's got a monitor out in the Kitten Club, which follows him inside, apparently because she's watching everything he does. [00:31:17] Speaker B: Right. So it's inside the Kitten Club, or it's outside the Kitten Club. [00:31:21] Speaker C: She's watching him walk into the Kitten Club, but then it. Now it's inside and he's changing into a hooded robe. [00:31:28] Speaker B: Right. So we've got some sort of drone technology that we're working with or something. [00:31:32] Speaker A: She just has buttons. That's it. She doesn't have buttons and controls. Something that some sort of interface that says, oh, you've seen him go in. Now let's watch him put his foot. [00:31:41] Speaker B: Like a motion sensor maybe. [00:31:43] Speaker A: It's crazy. [00:31:45] Speaker C: So the hooded robe, it is yellow. So I guess we shouldn't be too alarmed. [00:31:50] Speaker A: I was worried about that. [00:31:52] Speaker B: It's yellow. [00:31:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:31:53] Speaker B: But it's very clanny. [00:31:58] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:32:00] Speaker B: But also it looks almost like. Like, like what you'd wear if you were going into, like a hot zone. [00:32:06] Speaker C: Yeah, that's. [00:32:07] Speaker A: I was thinking when I saw this, not but 30 minutes ago, first time, I. I thought, oh, God, it's going to be. They're going to some sort of radioactive room or something. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Because, like, the little, like. [00:32:19] Speaker C: Oh, they are, though. [00:32:21] Speaker B: Oh, well, that's true. [00:32:22] Speaker A: Yes. [00:32:22] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. Okay. But here I will point out in the bottom panel on page eight, the necklace. [00:32:27] Speaker C: Right. [00:32:28] Speaker B: Notice this? [00:32:29] Speaker C: It's like. What do you call that? Bas relief. It's kind of a cutout. [00:32:32] Speaker B: It's like what a rapper would wear, Right? Yeah. [00:32:35] Speaker C: Skull. [00:32:35] Speaker B: It's very like flava Flav. [00:32:39] Speaker C: That's a little before my time. I mean, after. [00:32:42] Speaker B: After, after. But yeah. So it says skull, and then it has Superman like. Like holding his neck. Like Darth Vader is choking him. [00:32:49] Speaker C: Right, right, right. [00:32:51] Speaker B: Did you like that reference? [00:32:53] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:32:53] Speaker B: That was super nerdy, wasn't it? You're welcome. [00:32:55] Speaker C: You're getting there. [00:32:56] Speaker B: I am. [00:32:57] Speaker C: A room full of hooded figures and they turn the lights out and everyone's skeletons become visible to each other or. [00:33:06] Speaker A: Just to the monitor? [00:33:07] Speaker C: To each other. [00:33:07] Speaker B: To each other. [00:33:09] Speaker C: I'm not sure how that works. [00:33:10] Speaker B: I don't know either. It's weird. [00:33:13] Speaker C: And everyone's skeletons look normal except for Van's, whose skeleton is red. [00:33:18] Speaker A: Are we sure that's Van? [00:33:19] Speaker B: That is Van. [00:33:20] Speaker C: That is Van. He's the Leader of the skeleton people. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Do we know this right now? [00:33:25] Speaker B: That's what I was wondering. Do we know this right now? I don't think we do, because, remember. [00:33:29] Speaker A: You'Ve almost caught up to where I started, where I was before you started the podcast. [00:33:32] Speaker B: Well, we know that. Well, we do, because he just put the robe on. But I don't think we know that it's Van that's the leader. We know he's in there, right? [00:33:42] Speaker C: I'm not sure. It's not clear in the text. [00:33:45] Speaker B: Okay. [00:33:46] Speaker C: Now, of course, we have seen a Red Skull in comics before. [00:33:50] Speaker B: Have we? [00:33:51] Speaker C: Namely the Red Skull, who was an enemy of Captain America. You may have seen him in the first Captain America film. [00:33:57] Speaker B: I did enjoy that film. That was a good one, because I enjoyed Captain America. [00:34:01] Speaker C: I'll say. [00:34:02] Speaker B: Color. Yeah. [00:34:05] Speaker C: So I don't know that there's any direct correlation there, the fact that he has a red skeleton, But I do know that the Red Skull was appearing in comics at this time, so. [00:34:13] Speaker B: Okay, we'll cross over. [00:34:15] Speaker C: Sure. Here we have the red skeleton lighting candles of Superman's friends, including this time, Clark Kent, Batman and Supergirl. [00:34:28] Speaker B: Okay. [00:34:28] Speaker A: Isn't Captain America a Marvel character? [00:34:30] Speaker C: Yes, yes, yes. I'm stuck on that. [00:34:32] Speaker A: I'm hearing you say this. I'm thinking, wait a second. That's a Marvel character. Did the DC Comic Book reference a Marvel character? [00:34:38] Speaker C: Well, it's just an homage. Maybe. I don't know. I'm just suppositioning. [00:34:41] Speaker A: I call foul on that. [00:34:43] Speaker B: I will have you know that I made a list of all of these people, and the only one I didn't know was the old guy in the middle in the brown suit. [00:34:48] Speaker C: No, that's Perry White. [00:34:50] Speaker B: I don't know who that is. [00:34:51] Speaker C: He's the senator from the beginning. He's the editor of the Daily Planet. [00:34:55] Speaker B: Right. So he's not wearing his morning suit. Okay, got it. [00:34:59] Speaker C: You'll notice also that Batman does not have the yellow circle in his bat symbol. It is, in fact, the scratchy magic marker thing. [00:35:07] Speaker B: Okay. He looks like the Adam West Batman. [00:35:12] Speaker C: Right. Except Adam west had a yellow circle around his bat symbol. Did he? [00:35:16] Speaker A: Okay, we haven't gotten into that consistently. Appearing. [00:35:19] Speaker C: Right. Because it's new at this time. [00:35:21] Speaker B: Gotcha. Okay. [00:35:24] Speaker C: She watches the candles melt away in horror. [00:35:27] Speaker A: Look at poor. Who is this one? Is it Lana in the skirt? [00:35:32] Speaker B: In the green skirt? [00:35:32] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:35:33] Speaker A: Look at her face melting away. [00:35:35] Speaker C: I know. [00:35:35] Speaker A: She looks very sad. [00:35:37] Speaker C: Well, I'd be sad, too, if my face was melting away. Your face is drooping down A knock at the door. Lois scrams with her food tray, which she takes. [00:35:50] Speaker B: Can't forget the food tray. [00:35:51] Speaker C: She takes the time to cover up with a napkin so that. [00:35:53] Speaker B: Right, right, right. You don't want the food to spoil. Yeah. [00:35:56] Speaker C: Goes out onto the window ledge. I love that drawing when she's on the ledge of the window. [00:35:59] Speaker A: Isn't that great? I love the angle. [00:36:03] Speaker C: She tries to go in another window, but it happens to be the bathroom of the same apartment she was just in. [00:36:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:08] Speaker C: How does she know? Monogram towels. They say VB everyone had monogram towels in the 60s. Obviously she hides in the shower, van's got a gun. Lois, sweet, sweet Lois, thinking on her feet. She sprays him in the face with shaving cream. [00:36:26] Speaker B: Shaving cream. [00:36:28] Speaker C: Gah. I'm blinded. Well, that would work, right? It would. [00:36:31] Speaker B: I mean, I guess, but I sort of feel like if I saw a dude with the gun coming at me, shaving cream would not be my first choice of weapon. I would have maybe like also picked up the razor blade. The straight razor that's sitting on the shelf. [00:36:46] Speaker C: Good call. [00:36:47] Speaker B: Yeah, but I mean, I get, I get where she's going with the shaving cream, but in his eyes. He can't then see her to shoot. [00:36:53] Speaker C: But maybe throw the can of shaving cream at his head like in addition. [00:36:57] Speaker B: To spraying it in his face. Yeah, okay, right. [00:37:01] Speaker C: Or even instead of. [00:37:02] Speaker B: Shaving cream is not a debilitating wound. Wipe your eyes. You're good. That's all I'm saying. [00:37:09] Speaker A: It has alcohol in it. [00:37:11] Speaker B: I mean, not all of it. Does it like Barbasol? Like what they would have used back then? Sure. [00:37:17] Speaker C: Yeah. I don't, I don't know. [00:37:19] Speaker B: My shaving cream does not have alcohol in it. [00:37:20] Speaker C: Well, no, yours is for girls. [00:37:22] Speaker B: It is for girls. [00:37:25] Speaker A: We all know this. Girls can't, you know, just put shaving cream on. They get it all over their face. Oh my God, in their ears. They're so clumsy. [00:37:32] Speaker C: Right? [00:37:33] Speaker B: We don't know anything. Don't get me started. Girl stuff costing more than boy stuff. [00:37:38] Speaker A: Razors though. Razors are. Let me tell you what ridiculous Dollar. [00:37:42] Speaker C: Shave Club we do. [00:37:43] Speaker B: I was just gonna say. Can I say Dollar Shave Club on here? Can they sponsor us? [00:37:47] Speaker C: Oh, that's a good idea. [00:37:48] Speaker B: Dollar Shave Club sponsor this podcast. [00:37:50] Speaker C: We love it. We do. [00:37:52] Speaker B: We have three razor handles in our house. Because Holden and Cameron both shave and Michael and I both shave. I mean, he has a beard, but he still, you know, you gotta keep it clean. I friggin love those razors they're wonderful. [00:38:04] Speaker A: As a matter of fact, this is a product. [00:38:07] Speaker B: Oh, good. Shake hand cream. Seriously, sponsor this podcast. [00:38:12] Speaker C: My problem is that we have so many razor blades now. [00:38:15] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I have a drawer full of razor blades. It's ridiculous. [00:38:18] Speaker C: And they just keep coming and coming. [00:38:19] Speaker B: Oh, that smells very manly. No, I'm good. I have my own. Thank you. [00:38:23] Speaker A: Working so much, so hard. [00:38:24] Speaker C: This morning I washed my hands, like. [00:38:27] Speaker A: 30 times, so now my hands are. [00:38:28] Speaker B: Cracking open, like, gross. Yeah. [00:38:30] Speaker C: Has anyone mentioned that Lois is constantly making up clever quips like, yes, I. He got the shaving cream, but I had the close shave. [00:38:39] Speaker B: Right. Or this mountain goat bit is out of my line. I'll slip in through this open window. Really? 15 floors straight down and no elevator. One slip and they'll be scraping me off the sidewalk. Like, she's very. Like she's trying too hard. [00:38:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:58] Speaker C: Like, maybe she thinks someone is listening to her thoughts. Since she always wants to be on yes. Which actually, that's a meta conversation we could have. We are listening to her thoughts. [00:39:07] Speaker B: We really are. And other people are then going to listen to our thoughts. [00:39:11] Speaker C: Right. [00:39:12] Speaker B: Forever. Okay, so Lois does not get shot. [00:39:15] Speaker C: Newsflash goes back to the office to squirrel through the news files. Well, maybe you could just look through them. What's that? [00:39:22] Speaker B: Why are we squirreling? [00:39:23] Speaker A: Because it's the Go Go checks, and they're using slang to appeal to a. [00:39:27] Speaker B: Young audience to get the kids. Right, right, right. [00:39:30] Speaker C: She finds a file that has a headline about Van Bensing winning the Pulitzer Prize. Now, she's a professional journalist. I feel like she would know who had won the Pulitzer Prize in recent history. [00:39:43] Speaker B: She 100 would if it was, like, within the last couple years. [00:39:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:47] Speaker B: You know, she would be keeping track of that. You know why? Because she does not have one yet. [00:39:52] Speaker C: She does now, by the way. Current. [00:39:53] Speaker B: Oh, current. Lois has one in 1966. She did not. Okay, so she would have been on that. [00:39:59] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:40:01] Speaker B: Look at her face in that one where she's looking through the file. Oh, my God, Yes. [00:40:06] Speaker A: Chewing on the right side of her cheek, she is. [00:40:11] Speaker C: She discovers that he won the Pulitzer Prize. Is it Pulitzer or Pulitzer? [00:40:15] Speaker B: I believe it's Pulitzer. [00:40:16] Speaker C: Okay, good. That's easier for me to pronounce. You know, I have a problem with U words, like February. [00:40:22] Speaker B: Now, I will tell you that I do say February. I do not pronounce both Rs in the word February. I want it to say that I feel better then on the record. [00:40:30] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:40:30] Speaker B: As we journalists say. [00:40:34] Speaker C: He won The Pulitzer for his series on criminal disguises. Well, those are some disguises she pulls out of the box. [00:40:42] Speaker B: I mean, we've got like a weird. [00:40:44] Speaker C: Like, gangster face, a bum and an old man. These are like Dick Tracy villains who all have weird shaped heads and features. [00:40:53] Speaker B: Right, right, right. I do like, however, that Lois is not taking shit from Clark anymore. [00:41:00] Speaker C: No. Because he's a milk toast. [00:41:02] Speaker B: Totes. [00:41:03] Speaker A: She's got a wasp of a waist, doesn't she? [00:41:05] Speaker C: I'd say that's like a 14 inch waist. [00:41:07] Speaker A: That's crazy. Does she eat? [00:41:09] Speaker B: She. You know who she looks like? The chick in White Christmas. What was her name? [00:41:14] Speaker C: You know what I'm talking about. [00:41:15] Speaker B: The one with, like, the tiniest waist in Hollywood. Yes. [00:41:18] Speaker C: You know what else? [00:41:18] Speaker B: She died because she never ate. What? [00:41:21] Speaker C: She has a scarf around her neck that whole movie because she had anorexia so bad her neck was all wrinkled. [00:41:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:27] Speaker C: Oh, my God, that's true. Hell of a dancer, though. [00:41:31] Speaker B: Oh, my God. She made it look so easy. [00:41:33] Speaker C: I know. [00:41:34] Speaker B: Yeah. And as someone who can't dance, I appreciate that. [00:41:38] Speaker A: So she tosses herself out the window, right? [00:41:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:42] Speaker A: Took her free fall. That's the girl who was. [00:41:46] Speaker B: She's like swan diving out of the window. [00:41:48] Speaker A: I'm gonna be that guy who reminds us that she was slapped last night by a stranger. [00:41:52] Speaker B: Right. [00:41:52] Speaker A: This morning, she follows her boss, her new boss, to his apartment, loses him, changes, finds a bellhop outfit, gets lunch, brings it in, crawls out onto a ledge and decides to crawl back in because she's frightened of falling 15 stories. [00:42:09] Speaker C: Right? [00:42:09] Speaker B: Right. [00:42:10] Speaker A: Goes back to work, sees Clark, can't find Superman, decides to toss herself out the window. Not just toss, fly out the window with her arms extended like a swan dive. [00:42:19] Speaker C: This is what makes me think that she knows that Clark is Superman because. Right. [00:42:23] Speaker B: Cause Clark is watching her do this. It's like, oh, damn it, not again. [00:42:27] Speaker A: It's kind of a bitchy thing for her to do. [00:42:29] Speaker B: It really was. It really was like, ha, ha. [00:42:33] Speaker C: Superman will save me. Here I go. So she's plummeting to the ground. Superman races at super speed down the elevator shaft and sees a vegetable truck, luckily filled with tomatoes. Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be? [00:42:53] Speaker B: Naturally. [00:42:56] Speaker C: He uses his super breath to gently guide her to a crash landing in the vat of tomatoes. I feel like that probably would also kill her. [00:43:07] Speaker B: Probably. [00:43:07] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:43:08] Speaker B: I don't know. It would hurt, that's for sure. [00:43:10] Speaker C: If you land in water at that speed, you would die. And tomatoes are mostly water. [00:43:16] Speaker B: I Don't know that you would necessarily die. Depends on how you land. But based on this, she's head first into these tomatoes. She certainly did not take her stunt jumping class. [00:43:27] Speaker C: No. [00:43:27] Speaker B: Right. And now her suit is ruined. Also. You're never getting that out. [00:43:34] Speaker C: Right. I love the bottom panel when she says guh, guh. I don't understand. That's exactly what I would say if I landed in a Valentine's Day. [00:43:44] Speaker B: Superman should have saved me. No, Lois, you're a moron. And you dropped. Dropped? You jumped out of the window. Superman is not always gonna be there to save you. [00:43:54] Speaker C: Right. An important lesson for us, all right? [00:43:57] Speaker B: And, like, be an independent woman. You don't need a man. [00:44:01] Speaker C: But you know who is there to save her? Van Benson with his wallet out and. [00:44:05] Speaker B: A big fat wad of money gonna. [00:44:07] Speaker C: Pay for all those tomatoes. And he's gonna buy Lois a new suit of clothes to boot. [00:44:11] Speaker B: Oh, let me tell you what this next little business gave me. A very, like Richard Gere. [00:44:17] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:18] Speaker B: Pretty Woman. Yeah. Buy my horse some clothes. Kind of. [00:44:22] Speaker C: I know what you're talking about. And I've never even seen that movie. [00:44:25] Speaker B: What? [00:44:25] Speaker C: I've never seen that movie. [00:44:27] Speaker A: Why? [00:44:28] Speaker B: You've never seen Pretty Woman? [00:44:29] Speaker C: I've never seen it. [00:44:31] Speaker B: Omg. [00:44:33] Speaker C: Because I think it came out when I was in college and I was not near a movie theater. And then everybody was talking about it. And I have that thing where if everybody's talking about something, I'd never want to see it. [00:44:42] Speaker B: Same. Except Pretty Woman was a really good movie. [00:44:45] Speaker A: It was a great movie. [00:44:46] Speaker B: Yeah, and Julia Roberts killed it. You need to watch that movie. [00:44:50] Speaker C: Fine. But not tonight, because I'm watching the Ten Commandments tonight. It's Easter weekend. [00:44:55] Speaker B: Happy Easter, everybody. [00:44:56] Speaker A: Happy Easter. [00:44:56] Speaker C: Mock, mock. He takes her to a swank shop. That's what it's labeled as swank shop. Soon, in a swank shop, who has attendants? I like those matronly attendants. What do we call that? Avon Does. [00:45:13] Speaker A: Avon Does. [00:45:15] Speaker B: That's very fancy. [00:45:17] Speaker C: I've watched the House of Elliot. Have you ever seen House of Elliot? [00:45:19] Speaker B: Never even heard of it. [00:45:20] Speaker C: It's the best. It's a PBS costume drama. Fashion designers in the 1920s. Well, it was on PBS. [00:45:27] Speaker B: Even better. BBC. [00:45:29] Speaker C: Yeah, I'll check that out. [00:45:31] Speaker A: Ends with a huge cliffhanger. [00:45:32] Speaker C: Yeah. Ends with never stop. [00:45:35] Speaker A: Wonderful. [00:45:35] Speaker C: It is wonderful, nonetheless. [00:45:37] Speaker B: Okay, okay, so, one. Loving the turban. [00:45:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Because she just had tomato in her hair. [00:45:44] Speaker B: Right. I feel like that would probably be good for her hair. But anyway, these two ladies are dressed like every lady in any bridal shop I've ever been in. [00:45:52] Speaker C: Really? [00:45:53] Speaker B: Yeah. They all wear black so as not to detract from the bride and her bridesmaids. You don't want to stand out, so you don't want to mesh colors. So this is very, like, Swank Shop, as we're calling it, to wear all black and have your hair up and look. Not look simple, but look plain. [00:46:15] Speaker C: Right, Right. You know who wore white to someone else's wedding? Who? Ivanka Trump. [00:46:20] Speaker B: She did. [00:46:21] Speaker C: To her brother's wedding. Yes, she did. [00:46:23] Speaker B: No. No. [00:46:25] Speaker C: Yes. Classless. She couldn't get in touch with Superman, so she's gonna have to solve the mystery of the Skull Club herself. Which you should be doing because you're a reporter. [00:46:34] Speaker B: Right. [00:46:36] Speaker C: She's on her way to. Well, she picks up his business card first so she can copy his signature. Why would people have their signature on their business cards? [00:46:45] Speaker B: I was wondering the same thing. Also, forgery is a crime, Lois. [00:46:51] Speaker C: Well, nothing is a crime if you're doggedly pursuing a story. Is it? [00:46:56] Speaker B: I feel like it is. [00:46:58] Speaker A: I have a problem. The card is addressed Manager Kitten Club. Are we there yet? [00:47:03] Speaker C: Manager, comma, Kitten Club, comma, Kitten Club. [00:47:07] Speaker A: Yeah, if he knows him so well. [00:47:09] Speaker B: He would know his name. [00:47:10] Speaker A: Yeah, Lois should have known that. [00:47:13] Speaker B: They. [00:47:14] Speaker C: Didn'T have Google then. She can't just look up. She's an investigative reporter, Siri, who's the manager. [00:47:18] Speaker B: Right. But if she's going in there saying, well, Van says he knows this guy. [00:47:22] Speaker C: Right. [00:47:23] Speaker B: She should have figured out his name. [00:47:24] Speaker C: Okay, well, she's presenting herself as Mademoiselle Magic. She wants to try out for the show. [00:47:30] Speaker A: I didn't know she was a magician. Hobbyist. [00:47:33] Speaker B: Just you wait. [00:47:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:36] Speaker B: Have you gotten this far yet? [00:47:37] Speaker A: No, I'm just sort of. I'm being so quiet because I'm reading right ahead of you. [00:47:41] Speaker C: Manager immediately agrees to give her an audition that night, sight unseen. Yeah, because she's a personal friend. [00:47:46] Speaker B: And not just an audition. Like, he has her go on in front of people. [00:47:50] Speaker A: She must have been good. [00:47:52] Speaker C: Lois comes out dressed as a magician. Well, nobody's gonna get this but me. She's dressed like Zatanna. [00:48:01] Speaker B: Don't know who that is. [00:48:02] Speaker C: Zatanna is a magician character. Also, around this time, she says magic spells backwards, and they happen. Oh, but she wore this. [00:48:11] Speaker B: She also wears fishnet stockings. [00:48:13] Speaker C: She wears fishnet stockings and a little tuxedo top. Yes. Okay. She didn't have a cape. She just had the. [00:48:18] Speaker B: I do. Like. [00:48:19] Speaker C: Yeah, the cape makes it. [00:48:20] Speaker B: Honestly I like the drawing of this Kit Kat Club girl. She looks like the girl from Bewitched. [00:48:28] Speaker C: Yes, she does. [00:48:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:30] Speaker C: Also, that wasn't what I was gonna say. Because I am gonna talk about Bewitch later. [00:48:34] Speaker B: Right. I know. [00:48:35] Speaker C: But, yes, she does look. Look a lot like Elizabeth Montgomery. [00:48:38] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:48:39] Speaker C: So Lois asks the ladies in the audience to throw their corsages up on the stage. Which they do without questioning her motives at all. [00:48:47] Speaker B: Was everyone wearing flowers out to dinner bags? Sure. Like, everyone. [00:48:52] Speaker C: I sure. [00:48:55] Speaker B: I don't know either. But I just feel like they're all like, oh, I've got a corsage with orchids. Here you go. [00:49:00] Speaker C: She waves her wand and the corsages become huge, giant, exotic blooming flowers. [00:49:05] Speaker B: Lovely. [00:49:07] Speaker C: Now she asks all the smokers in the audience, remember, everyone could smoke indoors in those days. [00:49:11] Speaker B: Yeah. And like, legit. Everyone is smoking. [00:49:15] Speaker C: Yes. They. She asked everyone to take out an unlit cigarette, cigar or pipe, which she lights using her magic wand. Yep. And now for the finale. Everyone, please cover your eyes because I'm going to levitate everyone off the ground. Which she does. Oh, wait a minute. But she doesn't have magic powers in real life, Right? How'd she do it? [00:49:38] Speaker B: Did she do it? [00:49:38] Speaker C: Readers, can you guess how Lois created those marvelous magical effects? [00:49:42] Speaker B: I love that. There's a quiz, right? [00:49:45] Speaker C: I'm just going to bet you. [00:49:47] Speaker B: I bet you you knew every answer to every single one of them. [00:49:49] Speaker C: I'm gonna tell you, I didn't. I think these are. What do we call these? MacGuffins made up. Just things that have no bearing on the story that you couldn't possibly guess. [00:50:01] Speaker B: You've never heard of these things before? [00:50:02] Speaker A: No. [00:50:03] Speaker B: Okay. [00:50:04] Speaker C: But it turns out they were all trophies from Superman's fortress. Or from Jimmy Olsen's closet, because Jimmy's the one that delivered. [00:50:11] Speaker B: And I love that we get, like, a little science break. Clearly from Jimmy because his head is there showing us. [00:50:19] Speaker C: Right? Yes. These interplanetary souvenirs all have fantastic effects. Magic wand that can make flowers grow. And a ring that can make things catch on fire. And something else that makes things float. It's much more detailed than that, but yeah. [00:50:35] Speaker B: My favorite, though, is the part about the rock. Wait, what is it? Your anti gravity act. Oh, you did that with the weight nullify array built into the cigarette lighter. Those rays are used to move massive boulders on the Stony World Rock Gore. [00:50:57] Speaker A: So we couldn't do it 4:25 on a Friday afternoon. They gotta wrap up this story somehow. [00:51:02] Speaker B: It's light rock ore. Do they also. [00:51:04] Speaker C: Have cigarettes on rock or. Because why would they make their anti gravity raid? Just like a cigarette lighter. [00:51:11] Speaker B: The little Oompa Oompa guy? Yeah, like floating this rock. He's a pig man. He does. He's like a little pig elf. [00:51:20] Speaker A: So now Lois, apparently when she puts on all this makeup in her costume, she ages about 20. [00:51:26] Speaker C: Oh my God. [00:51:27] Speaker B: Right? [00:51:27] Speaker A: Yeah, she's looking pretty severe. [00:51:29] Speaker B: It's like every other page. They draw her older. I don't know. [00:51:34] Speaker C: Well, maybe she's in disguise. It's part of the. Part of the act. [00:51:38] Speaker B: She just felt like giving herself back. [00:51:40] Speaker C: Although she names herself Mademoiselle, that would indicate that she wants to be Yachtman. [00:51:44] Speaker B: Right? It's not working. [00:51:47] Speaker C: The manager comes in to announce that he's booking her for the storing spot. Now, unfortunately, she has to share a dressing room with Tamara, who's smoking in the dressing room. That's rude. [00:51:55] Speaker B: Well, okay, there are two ways that you know she's a bad girl. [00:51:58] Speaker C: Right? [00:51:59] Speaker B: One, she's a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. [00:52:00] Speaker C: Uh huh. [00:52:01] Speaker B: Two, she is wearing pants. [00:52:03] Speaker C: Three, she's smoking in costume. That's. [00:52:05] Speaker B: That is a big costumer. No, no. [00:52:07] Speaker C: Elizabeth Montgomery, the Kit Kat girl, comes in and says, oh, Tamara, er, here's that mirror you ordered. Lois knows something is up there, right? Who just walks in with a mirror out of the blue. [00:52:20] Speaker B: Also, what is she doing with a hand mirror? Why do you need that in your dressing room? [00:52:26] Speaker C: In the room surrounded by mirrors, sitting. [00:52:29] Speaker A: At that desk in front of a giant mirror with. [00:52:31] Speaker C: Already the desk has two hand mirrors on it. [00:52:33] Speaker B: I will say this. Sometimes you do need a hand mirror in the dressing room. You do not need three hand mirrors. One, so you can like check the back of your hand. [00:52:41] Speaker C: But what if you want to check the sides of your hair also? [00:52:44] Speaker B: Then you would. I only have two hands. [00:52:47] Speaker A: Right. [00:52:47] Speaker C: But now she's got a whip. Is that she could maybe use the whip to hold one of the mirrors. [00:52:53] Speaker B: Maybe. I don't know. [00:52:55] Speaker C: Well, Lois has a hunch. [00:52:56] Speaker B: Always, always a hunch. [00:52:58] Speaker C: So she uses knockout gas on Tamara, which comes from another planet. [00:53:04] Speaker A: Planet. [00:53:05] Speaker B: Right. In the form of like soap bubbles. [00:53:07] Speaker C: Soap bubbles that burst and make you go to sleep here. Lois says she'll sleep for about 19 hours. [00:53:14] Speaker B: That's very specific. [00:53:15] Speaker C: That's a long. [00:53:16] Speaker B: That is very specific. [00:53:18] Speaker A: When Tamara wakes up, she's gonna wake up, she's gonna have soiled herself. [00:53:21] Speaker C: And I feel like she'll be missed if it's a span of 19 hours. [00:53:24] Speaker B: Right. She would have to have had Another performance? [00:53:26] Speaker A: Yeah, she's at work. [00:53:27] Speaker B: Right. [00:53:29] Speaker A: And if somebody knocked you out at work and put you in a closet. [00:53:31] Speaker B: Right. And nobody's gonna come check on me and be like, Jen left her desk and. [00:53:36] Speaker A: Has anyone seen Jen? [00:53:37] Speaker C: Whatever. [00:53:38] Speaker A: You know, I haven't seen her in 19 hours. [00:53:40] Speaker B: Her headphones are still here, so she might still be here. [00:53:44] Speaker A: My head is killing me. It's the middle of the next workday. [00:53:48] Speaker C: And whatever Lois is doing wouldn't take more than 20 minutes. [00:53:51] Speaker B: No, there's no reason she needed to. [00:53:53] Speaker A: Knock her out for almost an entire specifically 19 hours to read the mirror. [00:53:58] Speaker C: Well, so her hunch pays off. She breathes steam onto the mirror and finds normal human steam. [00:54:04] Speaker A: Not super steam. [00:54:04] Speaker B: Not super steam. [00:54:06] Speaker C: Although by the look of that drawing, it looks like super steam. [00:54:10] Speaker A: It does. [00:54:10] Speaker B: And you know what? That, like, it says that it's drawn in wax, but it's not like just handwriting. It's like typeset. [00:54:20] Speaker C: Right, Right. [00:54:21] Speaker B: Like block letters. [00:54:23] Speaker C: Well, maybe. [00:54:24] Speaker A: They must have had to deliver a lot of these mirrors. [00:54:26] Speaker B: Clearly these were printed somewhere. [00:54:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:54:30] Speaker A: Do they not have phones? I mean, we have been seeing all these different devices. Like. [00:54:33] Speaker B: Like nobody picked up a phone. [00:54:36] Speaker A: Like buttons and eyeglasses and mirrors and. I mean, these are large objects to be left around. [00:54:42] Speaker B: Right. [00:54:42] Speaker A: You know, people will find these. Yeah, a card or a secret decoder ring, something. For God's sake. He has a thing that allows him to see Superman's Arctic hideaway. They have to write messages on hand, mirrors, objects. [00:54:57] Speaker C: What, did they not even know it. [00:54:59] Speaker A: Was on that pink combination? [00:55:00] Speaker C: Right. [00:55:01] Speaker B: I bet you there was something. [00:55:03] Speaker C: Mm. Mm. Van, here's that comb you ordered. So? Well, that's good. Lois puts Tamara in the closet to sleep. [00:55:15] Speaker B: Nobody puts Tamara in a closet. [00:55:18] Speaker C: Another reference to Beverly. Lois makes her way to the Kitten Club where she steals a yellow hooded robe and a skull medallion. [00:55:26] Speaker B: Right. [00:55:27] Speaker C: And sneaks into. [00:55:28] Speaker B: I love that the cutout are cat eyed shaped. Yeah, for the eyes. [00:55:33] Speaker A: They weren't. [00:55:34] Speaker B: Right. That should have been her first clue. Go on. [00:55:38] Speaker C: Sneaks into the room full of skeletons she herself can see. She walks into the room. The weird fluorescent effect reveals the skeletons of the members. Hold it. They're wearing brooches, necklaces and bracelets. Whatever. Why do they spell it like that then? [00:55:56] Speaker B: Maybe it's French. [00:55:57] Speaker C: She deduces they're all girls because they're all wearing jewelry. [00:56:01] Speaker B: Now, mind you, this is not the first time she has seen this. [00:56:05] Speaker C: Right. [00:56:05] Speaker B: How did she not notice the gigantic, like dangly earrings and necklaces and bracelets and brooches? On these women before. [00:56:16] Speaker C: And why does all that stuff show up when their clothes disappear? [00:56:21] Speaker B: Maybe it's because it's metal. [00:56:23] Speaker C: I don't know. You'll have to ask your husband. [00:56:25] Speaker B: I will. I don't know. And also, I would just like to point out that women's pelvises are shaped differently than men's, which Lois may not know. [00:56:32] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. [00:56:33] Speaker A: But I bet she knows. [00:56:36] Speaker B: I feel like as an intrepid reporter, she should probably. [00:56:41] Speaker C: Okay, moving on. The red skeleton walks in. She sees the outline of a pipe in his pocket. [00:56:47] Speaker B: It's just hysterical. It's like, you remember the mini page from the Sunday comics? It looks like how they would, like, hide stuff in the mini page. The upside down pipe. [00:56:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:59] Speaker A: So I just want to say something here. This whole technology of seeing through the garment and only seeing their skeletons. [00:57:08] Speaker C: And their jewelry. [00:57:09] Speaker A: And their jewelry. [00:57:10] Speaker C: This is crazy. Well, yes. [00:57:13] Speaker B: I mean, is it, though? I mean, that's how an X ray works. [00:57:16] Speaker A: Some sort of like radium or something. [00:57:19] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:57:20] Speaker A: When someone's going in to have scans, they have to drink something like barium. [00:57:25] Speaker B: When you have like the upper gi, you have to drink that gross barium milkshake. But it doesn't irradiate your whole body. When you have an mri, they inject you with dye, but you're not glowing. [00:57:36] Speaker A: Well, maybe it's like through. That's what bothers me. Through the garment. [00:57:42] Speaker B: The whole room is X ray. [00:57:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:44] Speaker A: Which is. Really makes me very concerned for their health. [00:57:48] Speaker B: Agreed. [00:57:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:49] Speaker B: Yeah. That's a lot of exposure. I'll have to ask my sister. If she's an X ray tech, I should have consulted her. [00:57:56] Speaker C: We can call her right now if you want. [00:57:58] Speaker B: She's probably working. [00:58:01] Speaker C: So they're lighting those candles again. Now here's an added step. He presses a button and a life size statue of Superman pops up out of the floor with a spotlight on it. [00:58:12] Speaker B: Yeah, it's very dramatic. [00:58:15] Speaker C: Then the light reveals the statue has a skeleton inside of it. [00:58:20] Speaker B: Right. [00:58:20] Speaker C: Which seems as all statues do. Right. And it seems like a lot of work for a statue. Nonetheless. The other skeletons begin throwing imitation kryptonite at the skeleton. Which is shattering because apparently the skin of the statue also disappeared. [00:58:38] Speaker B: Right. [00:58:38] Speaker C: In fact, as well as in image. [00:58:41] Speaker A: Yes, because the statue is hit by the fake kryptonite and scattered across the floor. So I'm assuming that the cloak it was wearing that they've been wearing too, has been disintegrated. I don't understand. [00:58:55] Speaker C: Fallen off. [00:58:56] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:58:58] Speaker C: Yeah. It's a great panel though. It reminds me of that movie with the Jason and the Argonauts. [00:59:02] Speaker B: Jason and the Argonauts. Yes. Yes. That was some good Saturday afternoon TV watching. Yes. But yeah, the skeleton is like all on the floor in a big pile, Right? But like it should be pieces of Superman with clothes on. [00:59:18] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Red skeleton says one of you will be chosen to kill Superman tonight. He asks everyone to put their medallions into the rolly thing, like the lotto. What do we call that? [00:59:29] Speaker B: Like the bingo thing. The bingo cage, like with the crank on the side. [00:59:32] Speaker C: A drum. [00:59:33] Speaker B: A drum. Bingo drum. Yeah. Yeah. [00:59:35] Speaker C: Lois is there. Secretly she puts her medallion in. He rolls it and rolls it. Rolls it and pulls Number eight. That's Lois's number. [00:59:41] Speaker B: This was the most shocking piece of this whole thing for me. Is that Lois's number got pulled. [00:59:46] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:59:47] Speaker B: Of course. [00:59:47] Speaker C: She's going to have to kill Superman now. [00:59:51] Speaker B: She has to kill Superman. [00:59:52] Speaker C: Whatever will she do here with the quips? Who does this red skeleton think he is? [00:59:57] Speaker B: Red skeleton, that was my favorite part of the whole thing. Favorite part of the whole thing. Red skelton. That's the low hanging fruit. Lois, come on. [01:00:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:05] Speaker C: Lois leaves. Look at the background. The women skulking out of this like. [01:00:10] Speaker B: They'Re shame in their trench coats. [01:00:13] Speaker C: Talk about walk up shame. [01:00:15] Speaker A: Why doesn't she stick around and show us who these women are? [01:00:18] Speaker B: Right. [01:00:19] Speaker C: Well, she's gotta get to these instructions that she's been given to kill Superman. Which are in code, of course. [01:00:25] Speaker B: Of course they are. [01:00:26] Speaker C: She doesn't know the code. What is she gonna do? Well, now I'll point out that this whole entire section which started about 12 pages ago was called Lois Teams up with Lana. Here's the first appearance of Lana. [01:00:38] Speaker B: Page 13 of the section. Yeah. [01:00:40] Speaker C: Lois explains to Lana what's going on. Lana says, no worries. I happen to have this computer here which can decipher code. Lana works for a television station, by the way. [01:00:50] Speaker B: Metropolis Television Company. [01:00:52] Speaker A: She's using a room sized computer to decipher the code. [01:00:55] Speaker B: Oh my gosh, the reel to reel. I love it. [01:00:57] Speaker C: The message is decoded. [01:00:59] Speaker B: But wait, can we back up for a second? The message is decoded because Lana says the studio used this computer recently for a science documentary. We'll program it to crack the code. So Lana girls can't program. Intrepid television reporter just knows how to code now. [01:01:14] Speaker A: Yeah, she's a coder. [01:01:16] Speaker B: Okay, apparently we'll go with that. [01:01:18] Speaker A: And you know, it was all set up anyway. Because they used it for their science documentary. [01:01:21] Speaker B: Right. So it was all ready to go. Crack code. [01:01:24] Speaker A: You know, she just had to make. They switched 1 and 0. [01:01:27] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, you don't need training for that or anything. [01:01:32] Speaker A: Didn't your father used to do payroll on a computer that was the size of a room and that was. [01:01:37] Speaker C: It was the whole floor of the building. [01:01:40] Speaker A: And he just ran payroll. Punched cards, right? [01:01:42] Speaker C: Yep, punched cards. And he was always like, he was on call 24 hours a day. Cause if something went wrong, he had to go to work and fix it. Yeah. [01:01:50] Speaker B: Cause he was the only one that knew how to do it. [01:01:51] Speaker C: Yeah, apparently. [01:01:52] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:01:53] Speaker A: They should have had Lana. [01:01:54] Speaker C: Yes, we got really excited during Y2K. He was retired, but we were really excited that maybe he'd have to be called in to read punch code because nobody. [01:02:01] Speaker B: Oh, right. Yeah. But he didn't. [01:02:03] Speaker A: No, we have to do it before 5 o' clock. [01:02:05] Speaker C: That's right. So Lois's instructions are to report to the corner of Park Road, 10th street at noon on Saturday. Weapon X will be delivered to you there. Lois reveals to Lana that it's Van Benson, who is the head of Skull and he's an expert in criminal disguises. Lana decides the best course of action is to make a giant headline on the Daily Planet as well as broadcast to all stations nationwide that, Superman, your life is in danger. That sounds like a good plan to me. [01:02:36] Speaker A: Yeah. They don't have email. [01:02:38] Speaker B: Right. I don't know me personally. [01:02:41] Speaker C: Right. [01:02:42] Speaker B: Lana's on television. [01:02:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:45] Speaker B: Why wouldn't they do like a Walter Cronkite esque break in? [01:02:50] Speaker C: Well, she's doing that too. But, you know, print media was big, big, big then. [01:02:53] Speaker B: I mean, sure, you were getting like two papers a day. I had to explain that to my children the other day. They were like, first of all, who reads newspapers? And I was like, I do. Second of all, you used to get one twice a day. Yeah, yeah, thank you very much. Sometimes three times a day if there was an extra, as we're about to experience now. [01:03:10] Speaker C: Well, just then, Superman walks in. Lois says, thank God you're here. I was just about to put out this extra. And he says, sharp as a mashed potato. Meaning that's not a good idea. [01:03:20] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:22] Speaker A: What? [01:03:22] Speaker B: Where does he get off? [01:03:25] Speaker C: Well, apparently he's been working the case behind the scenes. Didn't let anybody in on that, but. [01:03:29] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:30] Speaker C: Thanks, girls, but no thanks. I've got everything covered. [01:03:33] Speaker B: Let the man handle it. [01:03:35] Speaker C: This is where the COVID comes in. Because Superman is yelling at them. It's typical of your harebrained schemes. You just don't think. Which is why I'll never marry either of you. Who wants a wife so dumb she doesn't realize I'm Superman When I take off my Clark Kent glasses. Look at Lois. [01:03:53] Speaker B: Here's my favorite Nonsense. You know, we've often suspected you're really Clark. [01:03:57] Speaker C: And they have. [01:03:58] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:59] Speaker C: In fact, I'm surprised it didn't come up in this story before now. But we find that this is actually Van Benson in disguise as Superman and Clark Kent. I don't know what he was going for there. Does he know that Clark Kent is Superman? Yeah. [01:04:12] Speaker B: No, it says he doesn't. Because you. He says, you see, Kent isn't Superman and neither am I. Oh, I know he doesn't know. See, when you read the words instead of just look at the pictures. [01:04:22] Speaker C: Right? [01:04:22] Speaker B: Yeah, right. I know, it's a lot. There's a lot of words. [01:04:26] Speaker A: Literally one panel ahead of you all. [01:04:28] Speaker B: Okay, keep reading. Yeah, you're about to get a break because we're about to go to part two in the next comic. [01:04:34] Speaker C: Turns out Van Benson is an FBI agent. He's not an editor or a criminal mastermind at all. He's been undercover with Skull. And he is still mansplaining to the girls that they even goofed in their undercover operation. But now that they're in on it, he's going to use them to further his scheme. Do we call that one as the FBI? Do we call it schemes? [01:05:00] Speaker B: Plan. [01:05:01] Speaker C: Plan. Yeah, that's probably better. No. There you go. Mission. We're doing something unusual on this episode. Another first. What? We're using two issues of the same title so that we can have the complete story in one episode. [01:05:14] Speaker A: All right, so I'm just gonna turn off my viewer. [01:05:16] Speaker C: Yeah, so we're moving ahead to lois Lane number 64, which has the second part of the story. It also has the first part of another story, which will be continued in Lois Lane number 65. That's how they get you. You can't just buy one issue and have a complete story. [01:05:31] Speaker A: You have to wait a month for the next one. [01:05:33] Speaker C: You have to wait a month for the next one. [01:05:35] Speaker B: You have to let me pull this out. [01:05:36] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm skipping ahead too. Part two is called the Prisoner of Skull. Van Benson is explaining to the girls all about his undercover work. It's all been hush hush until now. But the truth is, I'm doing undercover work for both Superman and the FBI, which Perry White arranged shortly after he was Appointed senator. [01:06:03] Speaker B: Can't leave that in. [01:06:04] Speaker C: What? All right. Van Benson explains the whole plan to the girls while blowing smoke in their face from his pipe. I'll add rude. It's urgent, girls, that we learn the nature of the mysterious weapon X that the middle anti Superman combine known as Skull, plans to crush Superman with. Sounds dangerous. He explains that the initials SKULL stand for Superman Killer's Underground League. He's wormed himself in as one of its leaders, but even he doesn't know who is the master brain behind Skull. Lois asks why isn't Superman just handling this on his own? Because both Superman and the FBI are using the Skull threat as a pilot project for developing techniques whereby FBI men will be able to carry on without Superman's aid. Well, that would be a good thing for Lois to get on board with because as she found out earlier, Superman's not always around to rescue you. [01:07:02] Speaker B: Right. You know, like when you're jumping into tomato trucks. [01:07:05] Speaker A: Right. You know, just. Just in case they had developed a relationship, they would be able to do things like have dinner together. You know, he wouldn't. Other people would be trained to handle problems. [01:07:16] Speaker B: Okay, can we backtrack for one second now that I have my comic up? Because my computer is being stupid. [01:07:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:07:20] Speaker B: Did you notice the necklaces? [01:07:23] Speaker A: Yes, they are kcs, Right. [01:07:24] Speaker B: What is that? They used to say Skull with Superman on them. Now they say kc. What is that about Kent? Clark Kent, comma Clark. There's a. [01:07:40] Speaker C: Well. [01:07:43] Speaker B: Right. How does one explain that? [01:07:46] Speaker C: Well, I was. [01:07:47] Speaker A: The skulls don't have. [01:07:48] Speaker C: Have earrings. [01:07:49] Speaker B: No, no. [01:07:51] Speaker C: I was going to say. [01:07:52] Speaker B: Oh, the one does have a necklace on. No, because they're all wearing necklaces. [01:07:55] Speaker C: Right. And they all say kc. [01:07:56] Speaker B: Right. [01:07:57] Speaker C: I was going to suggest. If you look in the bottom corner of that panel, it's Kurt Schaffenberger's signature, which is KS design. So I was going to suggest that maybe that was that. [01:08:07] Speaker B: But that's not. [01:08:08] Speaker C: But it's not. [01:08:09] Speaker B: No, it's definitely kc, like, as plain as day. [01:08:12] Speaker C: I don't know. [01:08:13] Speaker B: I feel like some research needs to be done on that. [01:08:16] Speaker C: I will look into it in my spare time, which I don't have right now. Right now, Van Benson is going to demonstrate his makeup skills. [01:08:25] Speaker B: Oh, my God. This is my favorite part of the whole thing. [01:08:27] Speaker A: Love this. [01:08:27] Speaker C: Which apparently, not only can he make his face look like any person on Earth, but also instantly change the color of his suit that he's wearing. Because he goes from Van Benson in a maroon suit to Dean Martin in a green suit. Cary Grant. In a blue suit. It doesn't look a lot like Cary Grant, honestly. [01:08:48] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like. Like super old Cary Grant. Yeah. [01:08:52] Speaker C: Lorne Greene in a brown suit and Linda B. Johnson. This is like a W.H.A.X. museum that Dr. Husband and I visited once in Mammoth Cave, Kentucky. [01:09:01] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. [01:09:02] Speaker C: Which had a scene of Sammy Davis Jr. Sammy Davis Jr. Mahalia Jackson and Pope Pius II playing cards. Playing cards all together. [01:09:13] Speaker B: That's fantastic. Do you have a picture of that? That would be good to put up on the social medias. [01:09:18] Speaker C: I don't know if I do or not. [01:09:21] Speaker B: I would like to see that. [01:09:22] Speaker C: It was fantastic. I'm gonna ask two questions. [01:09:24] Speaker B: Okay. [01:09:25] Speaker C: Oh, you were gonna say something about Dean Martin. [01:09:26] Speaker B: I was gonna say. I just. It looks like he bought a Dean Martin mask at the Halloween store and stuck in his face. Yeah. Cause it's very, like, static. There's no movement. [01:09:36] Speaker C: Right. [01:09:36] Speaker B: I mean, I realize that we're looking at pictures that were drawn, but you know what I mean, it just looks like there's nothing there. [01:09:43] Speaker C: Now, was Lorne Green ever young? [01:09:46] Speaker B: No. I know, right? Because it's 1966 and he's full gray hair. [01:09:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:52] Speaker C: And he lived another 30 years at least. I do like that he's got a voice and a quote for every playing. Ben Cartwright on Bonanza has been a real bonanza for me. [01:10:08] Speaker A: So just let's pause for a second. [01:10:09] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:10:10] Speaker A: We all know what it's like to put on a mask. How long does it take him to do this? [01:10:14] Speaker C: It's instantaneous, apparently. A few deft touches of his hands on his features, and behold, voila. [01:10:22] Speaker B: Did you know that Loren Greene was Canadian? [01:10:25] Speaker C: No, I didn't. [01:10:26] Speaker B: He is. He died September 11, 1987. [01:10:29] Speaker C: Oh. So 20 years after this, but still. [01:10:32] Speaker B: Yeah. His middle name is Hyman. Oh, Lorne. Hyman Green. [01:10:40] Speaker C: Okay, Lana wants in on this. Can you make me look like a celebrity, too? [01:10:44] Speaker B: Okay, now, Lana's already pretty. [01:10:48] Speaker C: Yeah, very pretty. Prettier than what she turns into, which is old Liz Taylor. [01:10:54] Speaker A: Exactly. Like old fat Liz Taylor on a bender. [01:10:59] Speaker B: Like from the White Diamonds commercial. Even though that was, like, 30 years later, but still. [01:11:03] Speaker C: But this was two chins, you know? This was during her marriage to Richard Burton. So she was drinking a lot. [01:11:08] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, can you blame her? Yeah. [01:11:12] Speaker A: Then he plays a nice trick on Lois. [01:11:14] Speaker C: Then he makes Lois look like an elvish Witch Queen. [01:11:19] Speaker B: The Witch Queen in Snow White. Her name is Maleficent. [01:11:23] Speaker C: No, that's Sleeping Beauty. [01:11:24] Speaker B: That is Sleeping Beauty, yeah. What is the Witch Queen in Snow White? [01:11:28] Speaker C: I Guess it's the evil stepmother who never appeared with pointed ears that I recall. [01:11:33] Speaker B: No. Or like, fangs. [01:11:34] Speaker C: Right. [01:11:35] Speaker B: She looks like Eddie Munster. [01:11:37] Speaker C: Yes. [01:11:39] Speaker B: With her widow's feet. [01:11:40] Speaker C: Staple remover van gives rude. Lois, Jimmy Olsen's signal watch. Do you know about Jimmy Olsen's signal watch? [01:11:47] Speaker B: I know nothing about Jimmy Olsen's signal watch. But I feel like it's important. [01:11:51] Speaker C: Jimmy Olsen wears a watch with which he can signal Superman at any time. Which would get a little annoying if I were Superman, honestly. Yeah, because Jimmy does a lot of the same crap as Lois. He purposely puts himself in harm's way and then just. Hey, I'll just press my watch, signal Superman. [01:12:07] Speaker B: Superman will rescue me. No big whoop. [01:12:10] Speaker C: Well, now Lois has it, so there's the end of that. [01:12:13] Speaker A: Could you see Lois getting so used to having Superman answer her every call? She'd just be like, oh, I could really use another cup of coffee. [01:12:20] Speaker C: Beep, beep. [01:12:20] Speaker A: Right, Right. [01:12:21] Speaker B: Hey, Soups swoops in. [01:12:23] Speaker C: I would if I had a signal watch. That's. Honestly, what do we do? [01:12:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:12:28] Speaker C: Beep. What you doing, brah? [01:12:29] Speaker B: Can you refill my water cup? I don't feel like getting up again. [01:12:33] Speaker A: Could you check to see if the meat's done? [01:12:35] Speaker B: I need coffee. And you would always have to whine like that. [01:12:39] Speaker C: Yeah, I do. Anyway. [01:12:41] Speaker B: Superman. Superman, I am thirsty. [01:12:49] Speaker C: Lois goes back to Skull where they're. [01:12:51] Speaker B: All wearing their Casey necklaces. [01:12:53] Speaker C: What is. Why is that? [01:12:54] Speaker B: I need to know what that stands for. I need to know. [01:12:58] Speaker C: Knights of Columbus. [01:13:00] Speaker B: Knights of Columbus. [01:13:04] Speaker C: We're all Catholic. It's Easter weekend. I make a joke like that, they turn the lights on, but what happens? Lois doesn't turn into a skeleton. She's still there in her hood. I guess Jimmy's watch is malfunctioning and preventing the X ray lights from making me look like a skeleton. Don't panic, everybody, because Van. What's his name? Desmond. Van. Desmond Van Benson Benson. Van is there in disguise as the red skeleton leader. And he plays it off like it's his great makeup skills which have made this member of Skull look just like famous reporter Lois Lane. So that the in disguise Lois Lane can sneak into a charity function that Superman is appearing at tomorrow and kill him. [01:13:53] Speaker B: This is very convoluted, right? Like, so many twists and turns. [01:13:56] Speaker C: This is the toss off. Nine page, second page. [01:13:58] Speaker B: Right, right, right. Like we had 29 pages. They couldn't fit this in. In those 29 pages? [01:14:05] Speaker C: No, apparently not. [01:14:06] Speaker B: We did skip over. I will say we skipped over the part where Lois says now, if Mr. Dreamboat would just give me an engagement ring. He let you get beat up, okay? And also made you look like an elf. Eddie Munster. And now you still want an engagement ring? Okay. [01:14:24] Speaker C: It's worth it if you get that FBI pension. Lois goes for her pickup of Weapon X at the corner of park and 10th. As discussed earlier. He says, go ahead, Lois, use the weapon on Superman. I've got everything under control. Whatever you say, Van. He's smart and good looking. My kind of guy. [01:14:46] Speaker B: Gag. [01:14:47] Speaker C: Well, every man in this comic so far has been good looking. I can't speak for smart. [01:14:52] Speaker B: Well, I mean, okay, except for the guy in the morning suit who looked like William Howard Taft. Yeah. [01:14:59] Speaker C: But yes, he's been gone for a while. Our main character, Lois, goes to the charity function where she rushes the stage. I feel like she's sending a little bit of a message here when even in her undercover act she says, because you've spurned my love these many years, Superman. I avenge myself with Weapon X. That's not going away. Somebody's going to report on that when they report this incident. [01:15:26] Speaker B: You would think. Yeah, yeah, you would think. But also, at no point in any of these comics have the police been called. So I don't know that anybody would report this. I mean, Lois has gotten beat up in the KitKat club. Not kit Kat Club. Hi, that's Cabaret. Come see us. The old opera house. [01:15:44] Speaker C: Cabaret at the old opera house. [01:15:45] Speaker B: I'm here plugging my show. We haven't mentioned that yet. April 27 through May 6 at the Old Opera House in Charlestown, West Virginia. [01:15:53] Speaker C: Charlestown, not Charleston. [01:15:55] Speaker B: Right. Charlestown. Two words. [01:15:57] Speaker C: Yep. [01:15:58] Speaker B: Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Someone would have like, seen this fight and called the cops. [01:16:05] Speaker C: Right? You'd think. Unless it happens all the time at the Kitten Club, Right? [01:16:09] Speaker B: I mean, is the Kitten Club this seedy joint that like, the cops just are like, uh, it's the Kitten Club. [01:16:14] Speaker A: I do high class jobs, always wearing corsets. [01:16:16] Speaker C: I remind you that Van had to have a key to get in, so. [01:16:19] Speaker B: Right, so it's one of those. It's one of those. So the cops know to stay away. [01:16:24] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [01:16:24] Speaker B: Okay, so then we've got this knockout gas business. [01:16:27] Speaker C: Knockout gas. So Weapon X splits Superman into two identical supermen. And then Tamara, the lash lady, comes out and shoots gas out of her whip and knocks both of the supermen out. Because with two of them, they only have half strength. All right? Half of Superman's strength is still pretty good. [01:16:47] Speaker B: Still friggin strong. Yeah. [01:16:49] Speaker C: Yeah, so I don't. Well, I do understand what's going on because I've read to the end now. Same Tamara, it turns out, is the leader of Skull. [01:16:58] Speaker B: Actually, as we should have figured out when we saw her wearing pants. [01:17:01] Speaker C: Right. [01:17:02] Speaker B: And smoking. [01:17:03] Speaker C: Lois thinks that she's been duped because she saw Superman split into two and then knocked out. Here comes Van. She thinks Van is there to kill him and Lois and kill her. Sorry. [01:17:14] Speaker B: Not having it. No, she's not having it. [01:17:17] Speaker C: She hates him. [01:17:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:17:19] Speaker C: S.O.B. she thinks. Does anyone think S.O.B. in their heads? She does. [01:17:25] Speaker B: Clearly, Lois does. The rest of us girls do not. [01:17:29] Speaker C: Okay, good. That's. I. I wanted to know. [01:17:31] Speaker B: It's not a girl thing. It's not a girl thing. SOB we do occasionally say sigh. [01:17:38] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. I do that too. [01:17:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:17:39] Speaker C: That's not just girls. [01:17:40] Speaker B: You do. Right. [01:17:41] Speaker C: You rotten double crosser. Van Benson. You lied when you told me no harm would come to Superman if I did as you instructed. Look at this. It's not Van at all. It's Superman in disguise. [01:17:52] Speaker B: Another twist. [01:17:53] Speaker C: Yes. Now I have to tell you something. [01:17:56] Speaker B: Tell me. [01:17:56] Speaker C: As a longtime comic reader, I got to this point and I thought, this has been Superman all along. There is no Van Benson. It's all been Superman setting up this elaborate scheme to teach Lois love to soup. Which is something that Superman would have done during season four. [01:18:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:18:13] Speaker C: But that's not the case here. [01:18:15] Speaker B: No. [01:18:15] Speaker C: I did get to the bottom of this page and think, oh, well, there's no Van Benton at all. It's always been Superman. So what happened? Well, it was Van and Superman working together. They were both in disguise. When the Weapon X was fired, they pretended that it was splitting them into two. And undercover of the smoke from Weapon X, they were able to pull that off so that no one could tell because they had figured out what Weapon X was way ahead of time and disabled the Weapon X weapon. [01:18:42] Speaker B: As men do. [01:18:43] Speaker C: Right. [01:18:44] Speaker B: But Lois was just a girl and couldn't figure that out. [01:18:48] Speaker C: No. Well, she wasn't nosy enough, I guess. [01:18:50] Speaker B: I guess not. [01:18:51] Speaker C: So Tamara now is shooting a gun at Superman. We know that won't work. [01:18:56] Speaker B: Nope. Man of Steel Huller. [01:18:59] Speaker C: And Lois picks up her Tamara's whip, which I remind you, is filled with gas, and shoots her. With gas. And she's unconscious now. Poor Tamara. She's just. [01:19:11] Speaker B: Is it Tamara or Tamara? [01:19:13] Speaker C: I don't know. [01:19:14] Speaker B: We'll go with Tamara. [01:19:15] Speaker C: Okay. She's just been asleep for 19 hours. [01:19:17] Speaker B: Oh, right. [01:19:18] Speaker C: Yeah. She wakes up to wrest control of her criminal Empire from FBI agent Van. [01:19:24] Speaker B: Van, seemingly still groggy. [01:19:25] Speaker C: Right. And knocked out again here. [01:19:27] Speaker B: But she just performed. [01:19:28] Speaker C: Too true. [01:19:30] Speaker A: Yes. Maybe some time has passed. [01:19:31] Speaker B: Yeah. So maybe it's been like two days. [01:19:35] Speaker C: Could be. We may never know because she ran. [01:19:37] Speaker A: Out of two suits. I mean, she was in that suit for 19 hours. You know, she soiled it. [01:19:40] Speaker B: You would assume that she would have had to pee at some point. Yeah. [01:19:43] Speaker C: I mean, she probably has identical suits in the closet. I would. If I did that act. [01:19:47] Speaker B: If you did it every. As a costumer. [01:19:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:19:50] Speaker B: I will tell you that she should at least have two. [01:19:52] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [01:19:52] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:19:55] Speaker C: So Van is out the door because he is not really an editor. He's an FBI agent. Luckily. Who'd we say? William Henry Harrison. Howard Taft. [01:20:02] Speaker B: William Howard Taft. [01:20:03] Speaker C: William Howard Taft. [01:20:04] Speaker B: She shows up not wearing a morning suit anymore. [01:20:08] Speaker C: No. [01:20:08] Speaker B: But his jacket no longer has tails. But he still has the same pants. [01:20:11] Speaker C: Yeah, pinstripe pants and the ascot. So he's back to. I'm not exactly sure what he's saying if he's come to be the editor until he can find a replacement senator or until he could find another replacement editor. [01:20:24] Speaker B: No, I think it's that they're letting him take a break from his senatorial duties to be the editor of the. [01:20:29] Speaker C: Daily Planet because there's no conflict of interest. [01:20:32] Speaker B: That's what I said. I'm in my notes that I was taking as I read. I'm pretty sure that violates federal law, probably. I feel like just because the Senate has recessed does not mean you get to go back to your job in the real world also, especially as a newspaper editor. [01:20:49] Speaker A: That's kind of a big job. [01:20:51] Speaker C: Yeah, well, but you're also driving public opinion. [01:20:54] Speaker B: There's a huge conflict there. If he was retiring 100%. Go back to your job at the Daily Planet. Nobody cares. But you're in recess for, like, two weeks, and now you're just going back to the Senate after you've written about politics. [01:21:08] Speaker A: He won't stay the Senate route for this issue, will he? [01:21:09] Speaker B: Right. [01:21:10] Speaker C: Also, no, he won't. But what did he. Was he in the Senate for a week? This hasn't taken place over that. [01:21:18] Speaker B: No, it's only been a few days. [01:21:20] Speaker C: Well, midterm election. Midterm election. I go to Washington for a week and then I'm done. [01:21:24] Speaker B: Right. [01:21:24] Speaker C: And we're recessed. [01:21:25] Speaker B: He. Okay. So it said that he was made a senator in the last issue. [01:21:30] Speaker C: Yes. [01:21:31] Speaker B: So we don't know how much time passed between issue 20 or 62 and. [01:21:35] Speaker C: Issue 63 couldn't have been long because this in 63, was his goodbye party. [01:21:40] Speaker B: Oh, right. [01:21:41] Speaker C: Yeah. This is how comics narrative has changed in the intervening years. Nowadays, this story would have been eight to ten issues, right? Yeah. [01:21:52] Speaker A: Wow. [01:21:53] Speaker B: There's. Because there's a lot that needed to be said that wasn't said for sure. [01:21:58] Speaker C: Not 10 issues worth. But maybe. [01:21:59] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Maybe four. [01:22:02] Speaker C: Yeah, four I can buy. [01:22:03] Speaker B: But also, I feel like in today's market, they would have not had the necklace discrepancy either. I'm very focused on that. [01:22:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:22:10] Speaker B: It's bothering me. [01:22:11] Speaker C: I'm gonna do some research. [01:22:13] Speaker B: All right. [01:22:13] Speaker C: I hope you do anything. Now I have a fun game to play. [01:22:16] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [01:22:17] Speaker C: I've drawn inspiration from our friends over at Cinema Chop Chop Podcast. Their podcast looks at old movies under the assumption that they're going to be remade, and so they recast them with modern actors and actresses. I'm twisting that a little bit so that we are looking at a movie that should have been made in the past. [01:22:38] Speaker B: Okay. [01:22:39] Speaker C: And cast it with actors and actresses from the past. So let's say there's a Lois lane movie in 1966. [01:22:47] Speaker B: Okay. [01:22:48] Speaker C: And just for the sake of argument, let's say it's. This plot is the plot of the movie that we've just read. I've got some ideas. [01:22:55] Speaker B: As do I. [01:22:57] Speaker C: All right. Who's your Lana Lange? [01:22:59] Speaker B: Okay. So I could not decide on Alana. I actually have three Lanas. Wow. Because I could not narrow them down. [01:23:07] Speaker C: Okay. [01:23:07] Speaker B: Because. So I felt like I needed to think about this. So not having a vast knowledge of 1960s actresses. I googled it. [01:23:17] Speaker C: Yeah, same. [01:23:19] Speaker B: And so, like, I had a couple in my head that were. Because I wanted to check the time period. And so a couple that I had in my head are ones that I picked. Okay. Here's my list. I only have three. [01:23:29] Speaker C: Okay. [01:23:29] Speaker B: But I only have one Lois. [01:23:30] Speaker C: Okay, good. [01:23:31] Speaker B: All right. My Alanas are Anna Bancroft. [01:23:34] Speaker C: Okay. [01:23:36] Speaker B: Faye Dunaway. [01:23:38] Speaker C: How old was she in 66? [01:23:39] Speaker B: She was, like, in her 30s. [01:23:40] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [01:23:40] Speaker B: Oh. I researched this. I made sure all these women were, like, the right age. But the one who I really think it should be is Julie Newmark, the original Catwoman. Right. Can't you see that? [01:23:53] Speaker C: I can. [01:23:53] Speaker B: Okay. [01:23:54] Speaker C: Yeah. So I always see Lana's kind of sex pot. [01:23:56] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I picked those three. [01:23:59] Speaker C: Excellent. [01:24:00] Speaker B: If I had to rank them, it would be Julie Newmar first. [01:24:03] Speaker C: Okay. [01:24:04] Speaker B: Anne Bancroft, then Faye Dunaway. Yeah. Okay. [01:24:06] Speaker C: Well, I have. I only have one Lana, but it's a similar type. I picked Tina Louise, who was Ginger on Gilgan's Island. [01:24:15] Speaker B: Yes, that would have been a good one. [01:24:17] Speaker C: I also cast the Men. I didn't tell you about that, but. [01:24:22] Speaker B: You'Re just throwing that out there. [01:24:24] Speaker C: Well, as I was thinking, I thought, well, might as well. But it's so obvious. Everyone will pick the same people. [01:24:28] Speaker B: Okay. [01:24:29] Speaker C: Van Benson. Rod Taylor. [01:24:31] Speaker B: I don't know who that is. [01:24:32] Speaker C: Rod Taylor is from the Birds. [01:24:34] Speaker B: Oh, that guy. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes. Yeah. [01:24:37] Speaker C: Dwayne Hickman is Jimmy Olsen. Dwayne Hickman is Dobie Gillis. [01:24:41] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. [01:24:42] Speaker C: I also thought briefly of Jay north, who played Dennis the Menace on tv. He would have been a teenager. [01:24:46] Speaker B: He would have been a good one. Yeah. [01:24:48] Speaker C: Superman. Richard Long, who played Jared Barkley on Big Valley. That's a deep dive. [01:24:53] Speaker B: That is a deep dive. [01:24:55] Speaker C: And here's my Lois. You ready for this? This is when we come back to Bewitched. Elizabeth Montgomery as Lois. [01:25:00] Speaker B: That would have been a good Lois. And yes, Richard Long. And the picture they have of him is from, like, the 60s. [01:25:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:25:05] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. I can see that. [01:25:07] Speaker C: Elizabeth. Elizabeth Montgomery. Well, we know she can wear a black wig because cousin Serena. [01:25:13] Speaker A: Sure, Serena Thale. [01:25:15] Speaker C: And I just. I thought she's, you know, she's smart, she's pretty, she is quirky. [01:25:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:25:21] Speaker C: And she would absolutely jump out a window expecting nothing. No harm will come to her. [01:25:26] Speaker B: Right. Okay. You want to hear mine? [01:25:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:25:29] Speaker B: Sally Field. Oh, I considered Sally Field because I was picturing, like, a gidget. [01:25:35] Speaker C: Right. [01:25:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:25:36] Speaker C: I considered Sally Field. Only that she was so young then. [01:25:39] Speaker B: Yeah. But I feel like they could have aged her up. Right? [01:25:43] Speaker C: Probably. Yeah. No, of course. She would have been in the midst of flying nun. [01:25:47] Speaker B: Oh, that's true. [01:25:49] Speaker A: I'd like to add in a consideration for Van Benson. [01:25:51] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [01:25:51] Speaker A: Yes. Brian Keith. [01:25:53] Speaker C: Okay. [01:25:54] Speaker B: I don't know who that is. [01:25:56] Speaker C: He was the dad on Family Affairs. [01:25:57] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Okay. [01:25:59] Speaker C: He's a little more rugged than what I was thinking of Van Benson being. But I also considered Richard Chamberlain. [01:26:05] Speaker B: Oh, that would have been a good one, too. [01:26:08] Speaker C: Back to Sally Field. I would have loved to see Sally Field play Lois Lane. [01:26:11] Speaker B: Yes. [01:26:11] Speaker C: With Christopher Reeve. [01:26:13] Speaker B: Right. [01:26:14] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [01:26:15] Speaker A: Instead of Margot Kidder. [01:26:16] Speaker C: Instead of Margot Kidder, yes. [01:26:17] Speaker B: I could not think of her name. Thank you. [01:26:18] Speaker C: I didn't. Margot Kidder did fine. I didn't picture Lois. [01:26:22] Speaker A: I picture her as Lois, though. [01:26:23] Speaker C: Well, she's a little more manic than I think Lois is. [01:26:26] Speaker A: Manic is a great Word to describe Margot Kidder. [01:26:29] Speaker B: Manic and, like, also. Okay, now, having just said all of the things I said in this podcast, I feel like she should have been a little tiny bit, like, younger and prettier. I know. That is a very not feminist thing for me to say. Well, Margot Kidder is a lovely woman, but, like, I don't know if we're talking about Hollywood. I feel like Hollywood dropped the ball on that one. [01:26:54] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm looking up who tested for Lois Lane. [01:26:58] Speaker B: Yes, I would like to know about that. [01:26:59] Speaker C: Susan Blakely. I don't know who that is. [01:27:01] Speaker B: Don't know who that is. You know who else I was thinking of? [01:27:03] Speaker C: Yeah, who? [01:27:04] Speaker B: The chick who played Morticia Adams. [01:27:07] Speaker C: Okay. [01:27:08] Speaker B: Yeah, Right. Carolyn Jones. [01:27:12] Speaker C: Yes, Carolyn Jones. Ann Archer tested for Lois Lane. [01:27:16] Speaker B: I don't know her either. [01:27:18] Speaker C: She always plays Harrison Ford's wife in things. [01:27:22] Speaker B: Oh, yes. She's very cute. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:27:27] Speaker C: Leslie Ann Warren. [01:27:28] Speaker B: Oh. [01:27:29] Speaker C: Oh, she would have been good. Deborah Raffin. I don't know who that is. [01:27:34] Speaker B: Well, as we know, it's not always the person. [01:27:36] Speaker A: Stalkard Channing. [01:27:38] Speaker B: Stalker Channing. Would have been a great Lois Lane. Better than Margot Kidder? [01:27:45] Speaker A: Yes. [01:27:45] Speaker B: Did she. Ugh. God, she must have had something else going on. [01:27:50] Speaker C: Well, how close was that? To Greece? [01:27:53] Speaker B: I was gonna say. When was Greece? Oh, let's look that up. [01:27:56] Speaker C: And then, of course, Stalker Channing. You won't remember this, you young people. Stalker Channing had her own sitcom. What? The Stalker Channing Show. [01:28:03] Speaker B: The Stalker Channing show, yeah. That's very original. [01:28:07] Speaker C: Well, it is an original name, isn't it? [01:28:10] Speaker B: Grease was not released until 1978. That can't be right. [01:28:15] Speaker C: Yeah, that checks out. [01:28:16] Speaker A: Really? [01:28:18] Speaker C: And that was about the time of Superman, too, I think it was 79. [01:28:21] Speaker B: 79. [01:28:21] Speaker C: 80. [01:28:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:28:25] Speaker C: Fuck, I'm old. [01:28:26] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [01:28:29] Speaker C: All right, well, any further thoughts on Loseling Judge? [01:28:35] Speaker B: No, I would just like to say thank you for introducing me to the world of comics. [01:28:39] Speaker C: Thank you. [01:28:40] Speaker B: And thank you for having me. I would love to come back. I would love to. This was super, super fun. [01:28:46] Speaker C: Yay. Daughter, husband, anything? [01:28:50] Speaker A: No, I enjoyed reading along. This has been a particularly busy week for me, so I'm so glad that the two of you got to talk your way through it and have a. [01:28:59] Speaker C: Good time with it. Me, too. Do you need to plug yourself on social media or otherwise? Well, you want to repeat the dates of that show? [01:29:07] Speaker B: I would love to. Again, that's Cabaret at the old opera house. [01:29:10] Speaker C: Yes. [01:29:10] Speaker B: The dates are April 27th through 29th and May 6th through. What is that, the 9th? Yeah, that weekend. Thursday through Sunday. I am playing not praying happily. I am playing Fraulein Cost. [01:29:28] Speaker C: She's a prostitute. [01:29:29] Speaker B: She is. She is indeed. And it's going to be a great show and I'm really looking forward to it. It'll be a lot of fun. So come see us. Tickets are available at old opera house.org yes. Or by calling the box office at 3-04-725, 4420. [01:29:44] Speaker C: Wow. She knew the phone number. [01:29:46] Speaker B: I do know the phone number. [01:29:48] Speaker C: We'll be there the first weekend. The second weekend we'll be in Spain. So jealous. [01:29:53] Speaker B: Jealous. [01:29:54] Speaker C: You can find us on social media@gogocheckpod. That's Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Although I'm really bad about getting things on Instagram. I'll try to do better. And that's all I have for this week. Wonderful. [01:30:07] Speaker B: Yay. [01:30:08] Speaker C: What's next week? I can't remember. [01:30:10] Speaker A: Well, I always learn from you at the end of the podcast. [01:30:12] Speaker C: I know you do. I think it's Strange Adventures. [01:30:15] Speaker B: Oh, that sounds interesting. [01:30:17] Speaker C: No, that's Marvel. [01:30:18] Speaker A: Marvel. [01:30:20] Speaker B: Do you know what? Oh, I forgot the one thing I wanted to mention. I did catch the Poison Ivy Black Widow reference. Now, is Black Widow an actual character? I know Poison Ivy is a character. [01:30:29] Speaker C: Black Widow is an actual character. [01:30:30] Speaker B: See, look at that. [01:30:31] Speaker C: In Marvel Comics, not dc. Lois Lane is DC Comics. I would have to check. I think Black Widow was around at this time, but I'm pretty sure Poison Ivy was not. Oh, yeah. [01:30:41] Speaker B: Okay, I'm hitting the microphone. [01:30:44] Speaker C: That's fine. I don't even know how any of this works. All right, that's all for this week. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to rate and review on itunes or wherever you get your podcasts from. Thanks. Thank you. [01:30:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:30:58] Speaker C: Bye. Bye. [01:30:59] Speaker B: Bye.