Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there.
Everybody everywhere. Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check. Branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967.
I'm Dr. Bob and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, Tomahawk 110 cover date May 1967 cover price $0.12. Cover artist Bob Brown Edited by Murray Boltanoff Featuring Tomahawk Must Die Written by Bill Finger. Art by Bob Brown. Are you ready?
Are you with it? Then away we go. Go.
Open up your eyes Take a look
[00:01:10] Speaker A: at the world around you.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: Don't you want to lend a helping hand?
[00:01:16] Speaker A: Try it on for size.
[00:01:19] Speaker B: You can have the feeling about you.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: Come along and join in with the
[00:01:23] Speaker B: band Tomahawk get amnesia. And joins forces with the dastardly Lady Schilling to threaten the success of Operation Beaver. But never fear, it's the lovelorn Miss Liberty and the Rip Roaring Rangers to the rescue. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain everything.
If you ask me, I'll tell you what you want to know.
If you're crying I will try to
[00:01:59] Speaker A: make the tears go.
[00:02:03] Speaker B: But if you're lying and trying to make me blue you'll never find
[00:02:14] Speaker A: a love that's true.
Well, happy birthday. Yeah.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Was that Sunny?
You have to speak up. I'm deef.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: This is a very important birthday for.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: I don't know how important I'd say it is.
[00:02:32] Speaker A: It's a milestone birthday.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: It ends in a zero.
[00:02:34] Speaker A: Yes, indeed.
[00:02:35] Speaker B: Just another day.
[00:02:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay.
Well, happy birthday.
[00:02:40] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:02:41] Speaker A: Well, we didn't do anything really special for your birthday. No, no. You didn't want anything special for your birthday.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: I have so much.
[00:02:49] Speaker A: But I did get you a couple of gifts. Yes.
One of which was very funny.
I had purchased, or I had. I had AI do a really cool photograph of our two dogs and cat.
And it generated an image that I'd asked for of them bowling in a bowling alley, which was really funny. And because I can only do. I was only looking at it on my phone, I didn't notice that the photograph or the piece of art that it generated had a second tail growing out of the butler's back and upwards into the Air, which I didn't catch, and sent it to a company and had it printed on a T shirt, which you unwrapped on your birthday, didn't you?
[00:03:33] Speaker B: I did. Also, his tail had a sleeve of the bowling shirt. Its own sleeve?
[00:03:38] Speaker A: Yes, it had its own sleeve. So I thought that was funny. And so our good friend Chuck helped me and created a new photograph. And it is on its way. It was printed already.
[00:03:55] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:03:56] Speaker A: Yeah, they're pretty prompt. It's called Uber Prints.
So anyway, there's that. And then you have a couple of collectible, very nice collectible marionettes, don't you?
[00:04:06] Speaker B: Well, I have a Pelham marionette of a frog, which I had as a child. It's not the same one that I had as a child, but I found it on eBay and doctor husband bought it for me sometime or other.
[00:04:15] Speaker A: Yes. Some time ago. And then we just recently found a
[00:04:18] Speaker B: Howdy Doody original manufacturer.
Not a television version of Howdy Doody, but the mass production that they made in the 50s for children to take home.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: So they have been. One's been hanging on the wall for years and the other Howdy Doody was just laying like a corpse on top of a piece of furniture. And so I made you some marionette stands, didn't I?
[00:04:42] Speaker B: You sure did. You're so clever.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: I know. I just. And so that was nice to make. I made those out of wood and got the tools in here and made a little shop and made out some stands. So.
Yes. And then. So we're going to go and celebrate your birthday tomorrow.
[00:04:59] Speaker B: Yes, we'll have a fancy dinner at the Nice restaurant in town.
And that's all I have. I guess we'll see you next week.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: Well, yes, me, I've just been keeping busy with my projects, getting ready for classes to start, also doing my administrative responsibilities.
And then on top of that, trying to keep my music going.
So there you go.
Oh, and my Spanish as well.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: You're so busy. I guess I ought to brush up my French since we're going to France for Thanksgiving.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: That's right. I need to do that. I wonder if I can do that with. I have a subscription to Babel. I guess I can just add another language.
[00:05:41] Speaker B: Although while we're going to Strasbourg, I wonder if they speak equally German as well as French. Maybe we should. Listener, if you know anything about Strasbourg, France, let us know. I could get by in German.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Pretty sure their principal language is French. There are probably German influences in. In the language. I know the cuisine reflects both the German and French. Influence. Because it changed hands between Germany and France, like four times over the years.
[00:06:07] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: So.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: Yeah, well, who knows? Somebody will let us know.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: I mean, I doubt it's like the Basque region, you know, which doesn't speak Spanish.
[00:06:16] Speaker B: Right, Right.
And then we're going to Zurich. They speak German for sure.
[00:06:20] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, we should probably just brush up on. I'll brush up on the French.
[00:06:24] Speaker B: Okay. I'll do German.
[00:06:25] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah.
[00:06:27] Speaker B: Everyone knows from listening to this podcast how great my German Inflection is.
Dr. Husband.
[00:06:35] Speaker A: Yes?
[00:06:36] Speaker B: What makes a Ranger
[00:06:41] Speaker A: being printed in this thing?
[00:06:45] Speaker B: Well, you'd think so, but there's more to it than that.
[00:06:48] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:06:49] Speaker B: They come from all points of the compass, Dr. Husband out of the cities and country, leaving their families, shops and plowshares.
[00:06:56] Speaker A: What the hell?
[00:06:57] Speaker B: Are you reading the text piece in the middle of the issue.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Thank you.
[00:07:03] Speaker B: Each was a battle tested veteran, the cream of the crop, who quit his outfit to volunteer for Tomahawk's killer commandos, the rough ever ready Rangers, and became half Indian, half pale face, yet better than either. I don't know why that was in there.
Who are the Rangers? Tomahawk learned how to fight redskin and redcoat alike, when as a youthful Tom Hawk, he was taken in by a friendly Indian tribe. Ellipsis was taught the lore of the woods and how to hurl the weapon on, which earned him his famed name. With unerring skill, he could split a June bug at 30 paces.
His body moves like a coiled spring and his brain works as quick as a trigger.
Ellipsis.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: Oh, God, you're gonna say that for a long time.
[00:07:53] Speaker B: Skilled, brilliant, daring, organizer and leader of the best battling team in the world. No, I'm not. I just wondered why they.
Maybe it's just like they're too much information to get out. They have to just use these phrases separated by ellipses.
Dan Hunter, his young ally, whom he adopted after he was left orphaned by an Indian raid. Not always with the Rangers on their dangerous missions. Yeah, I don't think we've seen him at all.
[00:08:17] Speaker A: No, no.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: His age belies his experience.
The forest was his school where he learned how to survive in fighting the enemy, whether it was human, animal or nature. See, it used to be Tomahawk. It was just Tomahawk and Dan Hunter. Like Batman and Robin.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: I don't know. When these Rangers come along.
[00:08:34] Speaker A: Cannonball, a jut jawed sergeant from Connecticut, Leather Lunged.
Is that right? Leather Lunged, but with a voice as big as his heart, won his nickname after lobbing cannonballs at the enemy when his artillery unit ran out of ammunition. Hard as nails with a mind to match. Impatient with indecision and indifference. Who follows as Tomahawk's aid and is followed without hesitation.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: Frenchy. A former sailor. He came here when his ship brought Lafayette's forces and stayed when his desire for action was more fully satisfied on than on a dick. I mean death.
Agile as a monkey, he could shinny up a master a towering tree with equal ease. To be a one man observation post. Fancies himself to be a ladies man but he's a man's man too.
[00:09:22] Speaker A: Oh dear.
Okay. Big anvil. The big my favorite. The big burly bewhiskered boastful ex blacksmith from Maine. Once pulled the massive double gates of an enemy fort right off its hinges. Allowing his company of foot sloggers to to barrel inside the shock of the and shock the gaping enemy into surrender. Has the strength of a dozen men, but the innocence and naivety of a child. His muscles on his muscles as it was claimed could punch a hole in a brick wall. Before karate was known.
[00:09:55] Speaker B: Wildcat. When the rangers had to trespass the land belonging to his peace loving Pennsylvania sect that abhorred war and violence. Talking about the Amish, I don't know why they don't just say that. He joined his fellow villagers in their stubborn resistance until he learned one sometimes had to fight to preserve that precious piece. Now a go go go gung ho soldier. Always spoiling for a scrap. Never stopping until the enemy cries uncle. Uncle Sam.
[00:10:24] Speaker A: That is long rifle from Pennsylvania. When his outfit had to flee an enemy trap, he stayed behind to fight a delaying action. To protect them, he tied a rifle and string to each spoke of a wheel. As the enemy closed in, he pulled the main string, spinning the wheel, letting loose a machine gun like barrage that blasted every soldier. The best of the crack shots in the army.
A sharpshooter whose eyes someone once said really were twin targets.
Now I don't understand that.
[00:10:53] Speaker B: What the machine gunning?
[00:10:55] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:56] Speaker B: Aren't they using muskets now in the revolution?
[00:11:00] Speaker A: I don't.
[00:11:01] Speaker B: And don't you have to hold the musket upright because if you tip it over the ball will just fall out.
[00:11:09] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:11:11] Speaker B: I don't know how they could make any musket act like a machine gun. Even a number of them altogether.
Kain Tuck, he came out of the hills with a trust for his fellow man. Until he learned you had to fight for anything you wanted. He went on a turkey shoot with a friend when they were ambushed by some enemy soldiers. His pal urged him to escape while he held them off. But Cane Tuck refused, and together they beat off their attackers.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: Stovepipe. I would get this one. I hate this one the most.
[00:11:44] Speaker B: Why?
[00:11:45] Speaker A: Just a stupid hat. Teenage son of a general who scorned a back seat in the Scored a score. It looks like scorned, but it must be no scorn. Okay, okay. Teenage son of a general who scorned a backseat in the war safety safely back at the rear headquarters to prove he was a good man.
[00:12:04] Speaker B: Do you want me to read this?
[00:12:05] Speaker A: I do. I'm having a really hard time reading this print.
[00:12:07] Speaker B: Stovepipe. Teenage son of a general who scorned a backseat in the war safely back at rear headquarters to prove he was as good as any man.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: His hat was a birthday present and now has become the most treasured possession because it's a hat full of tricks. He could do better than pull a rabbit out of it. It's a veritable arsenal of small weapons, explosives, chemicals, all sorts of thingamajigs that could help a feller out of a tight situation.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: Back at the camp, they call him Trixie.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: Trixie Brass Buttons prides himself in being a former member of the third Virginia, a crack infantry unit, and proudly wears his former uniform, which he keeps immaculate at all times, despite the wear and tear of fighting the bleaching sun, rain, snow and slime. He's forever shining the brass buttons lining his tunic, despite Cannonball's demands that he stop that unnecessary frivolity. Well, maybe he's a dandy.
[00:12:56] Speaker B: There's a lot of innuendo in this issue, which, of course, I'm prepared to point out at every turn. Also, not counting Dan Hunter, there are nine Rangers.
That's two too many.
Either Cannonball and Long Rifle could have been combined into one character, or Long Rifle and Cane Tuck.
Or Cannonball and Cane Tuck.
Or just get rid of Stovepipe and Brass Buttons altogether.
So if you're listening, 1967 D.C. writers and editors and can hear my pleas to you through time, please eliminate two of these characters.
Tomahawk and his Rip roaring Rangers. Number 110.
Cover date, June. Well, official cover date, May. June 1967.
The glowering head of Tomahawk is floating over the logo there at the top on the COVID we have Tomahawk strung up to a giant one shilling piece.
Ms. Liberty Sword fighting with a hooded character who, we learn from the text box is named the Hood.
And a band of Indians in the background coming to murder everyone. Apparently Ready?
[00:14:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: It's a very muddy colored cover.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: Why does Ms. Liberty have on so many stars and stripes?
[00:14:36] Speaker B: Well, because she's an American galaxy.
She's head of the.
[00:14:41] Speaker A: Is this post.
This is during the American Revolution?
[00:14:45] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: You know, Ms. Liberty was in one of the very first superhero comics that I ever bought and read.
[00:14:57] Speaker A: You don't say.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: Justice League number.
I want to say, like, 148, 149. I can't remember.
That's the one where they. Jonah Hex, Miss Liberty. I'm talking to the listener now. You have no idea what I'm talking about. Jonah Hex, Miss Liberty, Viking Prince, Lord of Time, brought them all into the future to fight the Justice League and to destroy the supercomputer that he had built because it was out of control. And then in the end, who do you think destroyed it?
Elongated man.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:15:30] Speaker B: But Ms. Liberty was featured on the COVID and I had no idea who any of these people were, so I thought that she was a much bigger deal than she was. I thought she had her own series
[00:15:41] Speaker A: and her own comic.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: Just a guest here in Tomahawk.
All right. Tomahawk, marked for death by his own Rangers. Why would the Rangers have no choice but to execute their own leader? And what was the chain of events that led to the explosive duel between the hood and. And Ms. Liberty that promised Tomahawk must die?
Dawn and the morning sun tints the anxious faces of America's most famed fighting men.
Tomahawk's Rangers.
It seems Tomahawk has gone out scouting.
Scouting the terrain.
Yeah. By himself. Because that makes sense.
[00:16:29] Speaker A: They can do that, huh? He can do that.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: Well, why didn't he take somebody with him? Cane Tuck or somebody Quiet. Brass buttons. He's small.
[00:16:37] Speaker A: They're very clever people. They can go out and do scouting things.
[00:16:41] Speaker B: Well, I'm just saying, I'm not a military expert, but it doesn't seem wise to go out on your own.
What if you get ambushed? Which is exactly what they think has happened.
So these nine other gentlemen have to go out scouting to find him. And suddenly the woods erupt with the sound of gunfire. Its engines.
Native Americans, as we call them in modern times.
You know how in Sergeant Rock and Haunted Tank and whatnot, they very often don't fire on the enemy, they just punch them. Yes, I see. We have no such compunction about firing weapons at Native Americans.
[00:17:28] Speaker A: Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of that throughout the film.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: Full on gunfire and showing them dying in the background. Sure.
All right. The Rangers rip Open a hole in the Indian curtain of fire.
They are coming upon a hill upon which is a cabin.
And just then, who do you think they see running out of the cabin?
[00:17:54] Speaker A: Tomahawk.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: He made it out.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: He made it. Suddenly, another figure races to Tomahawk's side.
[00:17:59] Speaker B: Gasp.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Oh, no, it's the Hood. They don't understand.
Stovepipe's like, ah. But the Hood is really Lady Schilling in disguise, and she's sworn to kill every last one of us.
[00:18:11] Speaker B: Now, the Hood was a new character to me.
I had heard of Lord Schilling because he is in the who's who in the DC universe, but this is his sister, Lady Schilling, who disguises herself as the Hood to fight the American revolutionaries.
[00:18:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:18:32] Speaker B: As some sort of revenge for, I guess her brother's in jail or something.
[00:18:36] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: And why is he called Lord Schilling? Because he would leave a Schilling with a hole in the middle at the scene of his war crimes. Oh, okay, I read that. And who's who.
Now, why in Tarnasia would Tomahawk be with the Hood?
She's our enemy.
[00:19:00] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:19:03] Speaker B: Cannonball seems to think that Tomahawk has taken the Hood prisoner.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: That must be it.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Until Tomahawk orders the band of Indians to start firing on their rangers. And they have to escape.
[00:19:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: And their spirit is broken.
They're gonna fall back.
Big Anvil's gonna have a good cry.
And they've had the fight knocked right out of them.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: Yeah.
But on their way out, the Hood points at them and says, they're starting to escape.
You know, I'm worried we're not gonna be able to track them down. And Tomahawk says, don't worry. And he picks up a giant barrel and throws it down the mountain after them. It explodes as it bounces down the mountain and splashes all of them with molasses.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: Yeah. They think it's gonna be full of gunpowder.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: Right. And it turns out to be molasses now.
[00:20:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: Have you ever worked with molasses?
[00:20:08] Speaker B: I mean, I've baked with it.
[00:20:09] Speaker A: Yes. It's very messy.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: Yeah, sure.
[00:20:13] Speaker A: It's very thick and messy. And it's also notoriously, not very sweet.
[00:20:18] Speaker B: Right.
[00:20:18] Speaker A: It's both sweet and bitter.
[00:20:21] Speaker B: Well, I suppose if you didn't have sugar readily available, which these gentlemen wouldn't have, it's a fine substitute.
[00:20:31] Speaker A: I can go for a Guinness.
[00:20:34] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Somebody drank a Guinness last night on Ted Lasso. And I was like, mmm, I haven't had a Guinness in so Long.
I do enjoy a good Guinness.
[00:20:42] Speaker B: Does it have molasses in it?
[00:20:44] Speaker A: Well, it would. No. Well, I don't. I don't actually. I don't know.
I don't know why it's so dark and bitter, but it.
[00:20:52] Speaker B: It.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: There's a little bit of that molasses taste in it.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, I'm going to the grocery later. I can get you some Guinness.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: A little four pack.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: They. I think they just sell them in four packs.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:21:06] Speaker A: There's a little. Usually a little gas canister inside that you chill them and then you pop them into a glass. And that when you open it, it pops and really makes it nice and foamy.
[00:21:15] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:21:16] Speaker A: Nice.
Oh, that's nice.
[00:21:20] Speaker B: Peppering the Indian horde with rifle bursts, the Rangers steamroll through the ambush and race for shelter in the deep woods.
[00:21:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:30] Speaker B: They finally get away from the gunfire and collapse down, panting and worn.
And the spirit's still broken.
[00:21:44] Speaker A: Oh, they're all so sad.
[00:21:45] Speaker B: They can't figure how Tomahawk turned against them.
[00:21:49] Speaker A: No.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: So let's have a flashback.
It all began weeks before when Tomahawk was consulting with a general. I'm assuming this is General Washington.
They have a shrewd American plan. Operation Beaver.
They are building a dam across a river.
And of course, the way the dams work is the water level in front of the dam will sink mighty fast.
[00:22:19] Speaker A: And then it's called Beaver because beavers build dams.
[00:22:22] Speaker B: Yeah, I got that much.
[00:22:24] Speaker A: Wow.
So clever.
[00:22:26] Speaker B: Now, apparently, there's a sunken British warship on the low side down river side of the low side. So they want to be able to get the cargo full of gold, which was supposed to pay off British troops, but now they can use it for the American war effort.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: Yay, war.
[00:22:43] Speaker B: They'll be able to buy more supplies and cannons from France.
Operation Beaver could be a pivotal point in the war, which is why your Rangers Tomahawk must make sure it doesn't fail.
[00:22:53] Speaker A: Right.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: Because our regular troops are busy on other fronts. The Rangers must keep the enemy from getting through and sabotaging the dam and.
Right.
That's why one night, Tomahawk slipped out to scout for enemy saboteurs, but was caught off guard by a sniper, which
[00:23:13] Speaker A: was a Native American. He says now I've truly earned an eagle feather. I have killed the mighty Tomahawk because I guess the. The Native Americans are working with the British now.
[00:23:25] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: Well, yeah, I mean, we knew that they work with both British and Americans and French. Yes.
Anything to keep us out.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: But the bullet had only creased his temple and he was carried back to a British base hospital where Lady Schilling is waiting.
It's a miracle he's still alive.
A miracle I'm thankful for. Oh, what's wrong with me? Why should I feel so tender towards him? He's my enemy. I should hate him. Hate, love. Sometimes they get all mixed up.
[00:24:00] Speaker A: You sound like one of those 1940s actresses.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: Welsh is British. I'm doing my best.
[00:24:05] Speaker A: Okay.
So he wakes up, he doesn't remember who he is, who he is or what he's doing there, Right?
[00:24:12] Speaker B: Right.
[00:24:12] Speaker A: Clearly he's in a British hospital because there's a Union Jack flying.
[00:24:17] Speaker B: Yes.
Now, the doctor explains to the little lady that he has amnesia.
Loss of memory.
[00:24:25] Speaker A: Really? What a fantastic opportunity. Only a brain as cunning as mine could perceive such a thing.
[00:24:31] Speaker B: What?
[00:24:34] Speaker A: Sorry.
[00:24:35] Speaker B: Use my inner voice. Tomahawk wakes up and doesn't know who this lady is. And she says, are you sure you don't know? You're Tom Hawkins. Captain Tom Hawkins of the British Army.
[00:24:47] Speaker A: I don't remember that at all. Who are you? Oh, why, Tom, darling. I'm your fiance. We're to be married next month.
[00:24:55] Speaker B: Oh, the nut. And following morning, the foxy female agent returns in a strange costume. Why are you in that strange costume?
[00:25:04] Speaker A: Men, especially Indians, hate to take orders from a woman.
So. Excuse me, after yarn. Thank you. Oh. So I designed this head mask with a voice filter to hide my identity and become the hood in my war against the Yang.
[00:25:21] Speaker B: A hood with a voice filter in the 1700?
[00:25:28] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:25:30] Speaker B: Did they have Kleenex in the Revolutionary War?
Maybe. It's like a Kleenex over a comb that she hides inside the mouth of the mask.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: It could be a very small box with a mouth harp in it.
So that the mouth harp picks up the resonances of the voice as it comes through, and it's amplified in the thin wooden box. And this will all be hidden inside the apparatus of the mask.
[00:25:54] Speaker B: What about a harmonica? Do they have harmonic?
[00:25:57] Speaker A: Every time she breathes as she speaks, and she breathes in, and then you have to do. Then you have to speak on top of that. Yeah.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: I came from Alabama.
I can't do it.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: I can't either. It'll make me cough.
Also, I'm. I feel like Native Americans would be more apt to take orders from a woman than British men,
[00:26:25] Speaker A: I trust. Why would she lie?
[00:26:28] Speaker B: Because she's villainous, that's why.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:33] Speaker B: And man hungry to boot.
[00:26:36] Speaker A: Those are the men we must destroy. The Rangers with Them out of the way, we can get through the. And blow them up. Blow up the dam. So I don't know why.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: My eyes.
[00:26:46] Speaker A: It's not my eyes.
[00:26:47] Speaker B: Do you have the wrong glasses?
[00:26:48] Speaker A: No, it's my brain. It's just not working.
[00:26:52] Speaker B: Well, that brings us up to the president, and if you're wondering, as I was, why Tomahawk threw a barrel of molasses at the rangers, now we find out.
Molasses, as everyone knows, attracts ants. And now he can track their molasses y footprints through the forest because every footprint's going to be swarming with ants. It'll lead him right to the rangers.
[00:27:15] Speaker A: Yay.
Meanwhile, them rangers are still crying,
[00:27:22] Speaker B: trying hard to forget the loss of their leaders and get the.
[00:27:25] Speaker A: The molasses off their.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: Yeah, Brass buttons got to clean his buttons, and Stovepipe's got to clean his hat. And Big Anvil wonders if anybody wants a manicure.
Well, this struck me.
[00:27:40] Speaker A: What?
[00:27:43] Speaker B: The term manicure was not adopted until the 1860s, so that's an anachronism.
[00:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah,
[00:27:51] Speaker B: I guess we had to have something this issue, because last issue, didn't we have a robot dinosaur or Frankenstein coming out of a cave or something?
[00:27:59] Speaker A: Yeah, something like that.
[00:28:01] Speaker B: All right.
As if on signal the woods, wise rangers hit the ground because they hear something in the woods.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: I loved what big Anvil said.
[00:28:10] Speaker B: What?
[00:28:10] Speaker A: They said, do you hear something? He said, hear what? It's so quiet. I can hear my whiskers grow. Hear my whiskers grow.
I love that.
It's like that saying, like, it's scarce as hen's teeth. Something's scarce as hen's teeth.
[00:28:27] Speaker B: So not even the birds or insects are making noise.
It's because they're about to be ambushed by Tomahawk and this band of Indians.
All right,
[00:28:39] Speaker A: so you're trying to decide which panel you are.
[00:28:42] Speaker B: I'm trying to decide where to. I mean, Stovepipe is quoting his general father.
In warfare, the best defense is an offense.
Okay, that makes sense. Big Vanville rips up a tree by the roots.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: Who's the guy with the blonde hair? That's not Tomahawk.
[00:28:59] Speaker B: That is Tomahawk.
[00:29:00] Speaker A: No, with the rifle back. That's not Tomahawk. Oh, it is Tomahawk.
[00:29:04] Speaker B: Oh, no, wait. No, it's facing. It's the Amish guy. What's his name? Wildcat.
[00:29:10] Speaker A: Oh, Wildcat. Okay,
[00:29:14] Speaker B: now they're gonna give him the old ranger ram.
So Big Anvil rips what?
[00:29:24] Speaker A: Nothing.
[00:29:25] Speaker B: Big anvil rips up a tree and bats a couple of Indians.
[00:29:29] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:29:30] Speaker B: Then everybody starts punching fisticuffs everywhere. Then Tomahawk punches Frenchie.
[00:29:36] Speaker A: Frenchie gets it in the chin, and
[00:29:38] Speaker B: the hood orders Tomahawk to finish him off. And Frenchie says, no, Tomahawk, no, don't shoot. I'm Frenchy, you're old friend. Frenchie don't remember.
[00:29:46] Speaker A: Well, that's a very, very good French American accent.
Oh. He says, what kind of trick are you pulling? I never saw you before in my life. Is that. Is that Tomahawk's voice?
[00:29:56] Speaker B: That's Tomahawk.
[00:29:57] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:29:58] Speaker B: Finish him, Tom. Why are you waiting? Kill him. Drop him in his tracks.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: Oh, shucks. Tommy Hawk, why'd you have to go and turn so bad? Now I just gotta hit you.
[00:30:07] Speaker B: That's Big Anvil. He punches Tomahawk in the face.
[00:30:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Knocks him. Knocks him out.
[00:30:11] Speaker B: Right. And now the Rangers do their signature move, the Ranger ram.
They bust out of there, then suddenly, Ms. Liberty. Yahoo.
Now, I know a secret about Ms. Liberty.
[00:30:27] Speaker A: What?
[00:30:27] Speaker B: That's a wig. She's a natural blonde.
[00:30:29] Speaker A: Is she? Can you imagine wearing a wig in that hot American Civil War tie with no air conditioning whatsoever? Ugh.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: It was so popular in those days.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: Why don't you wear a bandana?
[00:30:42] Speaker B: Well, you know, everybody had lice, so maybe they just shaved their heads and wore wigs.
[00:30:47] Speaker A: True. So she says, you men keep going. I'll stir up some trouble for these devils. So she uses her whip and whips a paper hornet's nest out of the tree and into the crowd of the Native Americans.
[00:31:02] Speaker B: Yes. Good for her.
[00:31:04] Speaker A: Good for her. And they're all. Now, that reminds me of something. I spoke with my uncle last week who had been trimming up the bushes outside of the house and stumbled upon a giant hornet's nest on the ground and a big bush built inside the bush.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: Dear.
[00:31:23] Speaker A: I'm used to seeing them up in trees, pretty high up in trees. And they had to call an exterminator to come in full garb and remove the paper wasp nest.
[00:31:34] Speaker B: Did he get stung?
[00:31:35] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:31:35] Speaker B: Against them.
[00:31:36] Speaker A: Just once, luckily. Just once. Yeah. He said he dropped those trimmers and ran away.
He was surprised by how big it was.
Yeah. I mean, those things can get this. Larger than a football size larger than a football field.
[00:31:50] Speaker B: In some parts.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: They keep a lot of wasps. Or is it hornets or wasps? Hornets.
I don't know.
[00:31:56] Speaker B: What's the difference? Honestly?
[00:31:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Now they tell Miss Liberty what's happened.
No, it's not true. Not tomahawk. S.O.B. you must be mistaken.
[00:32:09] Speaker A: Cannonball says, sorry, ma'. Am. But we saw him as plain as day. He had a bandage around his head. Wounded, I guess, but it was him. If anybody knows Tomahawk, it's us, his own Rangers.
[00:32:20] Speaker B: Now, it seems Ms. Liberty has some intel.
[00:32:23] Speaker A: Oh, yes. I wanted to warn you. The Hoods attacked us.
[00:32:25] Speaker B: No, she's American.
[00:32:26] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, yes. I wanted to warn you.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: The Hood's attack was simply a diversion
[00:32:31] Speaker A: to keep you busy while British troops march on a dam to wreck Operation Beaver. I'll show you.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: All right.
Now they see a British squadron of soldiers marching along the lane on the way to wreck Operation Beaver.
Ms. Liberty thinks they could use a bit of magic to render those guys those guns useless.
And she leads them to a cavern.
[00:33:01] Speaker A: This story takes a hard left. Right.
[00:33:05] Speaker B: Now, this is as opposed to.
[00:33:10] Speaker A: Well, I suppose everything else is acceptable. A bunch of hooligans all dressed up in different garb from different years, all in a secret militia fighting on behalf of the Americans. Then there's this woman dressed up in stars and stripes outfit who wears a big black wig and rides white horse and she's named Miss Liberty and knocks hornets out of nests with a whip. I mean, given that that's just sort of your everyday sort of occurrences and this is all acceptable. This next thing absolutely does take a hard left turn.
[00:33:38] Speaker B: She leads them to a cave where there is a giant sculpture of a head. It's a cross between an Olmec head from. Do you know what Olmec heads are?
[00:33:51] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:33:52] Speaker B: It's crossed between that and Zardoz.
[00:33:55] Speaker A: Good one. Good one. Yeah.
[00:33:59] Speaker B: And apparently it's magnetic because big anvil gets too close and he's got a metal belt buckle.
And so the magnetic head pulls him toward it so that in such a manner that his crotch lands at the mouth squarely in the mouth of the giant head.
[00:34:23] Speaker A: There's no doubting that you're absolutely right.
[00:34:26] Speaker B: Ms. Liberty explains that it's a magnetic head and it pulled his metal belt buckle and was able to pull the entire weight of this man, who conservatively
[00:34:42] Speaker A: probably weighs about 300 pounds. Yeah, yeah.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: He's very tall and muscular.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:48] Speaker B: All right. They managed to free Big Anvil. They have a plan. Now they've built a.
[00:34:56] Speaker A: Why does big anvil have such a big smile on his face?
[00:35:01] Speaker B: Maybe he should go back a couple of episodes and join the Jo club.
They build as giant catapults and big anvil single handedly carries the giant head statue out of the cave, puts it on the catapult, shoots it at the British army.
So I guess one could say that the rip roaring Rangers are giving the British army head.
[00:35:30] Speaker A: God.
Wow.
[00:35:31] Speaker B: Well, it writes itself. Come on.
[00:35:34] Speaker A: Are you gonna leave that in there?
[00:35:36] Speaker B: Blimey.
Oh, sorry, they're British. Blimey head, so help me. It's a huge head.
Like a nightmarish meteor. The lodestone plunges into the enemy's midst.
Something's pulled me rifle away. Help.
[00:35:56] Speaker A: Help.
[00:35:57] Speaker B: My bloomin gun. It's flying.
It's flying.
[00:36:05] Speaker A: So now we're even matched. They don't have weapons and neither do we. But we got our fists. And apparently on Big Anvil's fist, someone has taken a fine quill and etched these words.
[00:36:17] Speaker B: He's got an elaborate tattoo across his Fitch.
[00:36:19] Speaker A: Here they come, those rip snortin rowdy Rangers with their fists rolled and ready for action.
[00:36:26] Speaker B: So they get to punchin'.
Lots of panels of action here.
Brass Buttons is a short fella. He can't reach the soldier's jaw. He says he needs to be a couple of heads taller. But all he had to do is climb on top of the one head and leap down.
[00:36:47] Speaker A: You're on the next page.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: It's a little gay. Yeah, I'm trying to skip all the action shots here and get back to the thrilling dialogue.
Stovepipe's hat gets knocked off his head and that makes him angry.
So he.
Well, that's not important. Just lots of fight gags. Yeah, they finally defeat all the soldiers.
And Ms. Liberty knows that Lady Schilling, who masquerades as the Hood, is sure to hear what happened. I think I'll slip up on the British and try to find out what her next move will be.
[00:37:25] Speaker A: Okay, but be careful.
[00:37:27] Speaker B: We'll stay here sometime later.
Unfortunately, Lady Schilling, our troops were unable to beat the Rangers. We were completely and ignobly rooted.
[00:37:39] Speaker A: Blunderers.
[00:37:40] Speaker B: Idiots.
[00:37:41] Speaker A: Why? Why am I always surrounded by incompetence?
[00:37:43] Speaker B: Oh, get out.
[00:37:44] Speaker A: Get out.
[00:37:45] Speaker B: You know Joan Collins, Dame Joan Collins would be a good actress to portray Lady Schilling.
[00:37:51] Speaker A: She would.
[00:37:52] Speaker B: Now Tomahawk's taking off his bandage because his wound is healed and says it's gonna be up to us now, Eh?
[00:38:02] Speaker A: Yes, my darling. Us. With you helping me, we can't fail. I have a plan to destroy Observation Beaver, which I'll tell you about later.
[00:38:10] Speaker B: But just then Ms. Liberty is outside the window. And now everything is clear to her. Tomahawk turned traitor because he's in love with Lady Schilling. Sob. He'll never know that I secretly loved him all the time. Sob.
[00:38:24] Speaker A: But I can't let My personal feelings get in the way of duty. I must ride back to the Rangers at once and warn them. Lady Schilling will lead the attack on the dam, with Tomahawk helping her.
[00:38:37] Speaker B: Miss Liberty discloses the shocking news to the Rangers.
[00:38:42] Speaker A: If Tomahawk isn't around to help her, it might put a crimp into Lady Shielding's plans. There's only one thing we can do. We gotta kill Tomahawk.
[00:38:51] Speaker B: Long Rifle, you're our best sharpshooter. One shot is all you'll need. One shot atween the eyes.
[00:38:59] Speaker A: Oh, no. Cannonball. Please don't ask me to do that. Tomahawk's my friend.
[00:39:03] Speaker B: But now he's your enemy. Did you forget Operation Beaver and how it would affect the war?
Ever living Yank is counting on it. Are you gonna stack up the life of one man against that?
Remember, this is war, and he's a traitor. If we'd captured Tomahawk, it'd be our duty to execute him.
[00:39:22] Speaker A: Meanwhile, back at the cabin, we get another entry into this absurd adventure.
[00:39:32] Speaker B: Tom, dearest. What's wrong?
[00:39:34] Speaker A: My head feels kind of funny. Guess I'm still groggy from the wallop that Ranger gave me.
The one you called Big Anvil. I'll forget about it. That's a.
Now, what about this plan of yours?
[00:39:46] Speaker B: There it is.
[00:39:49] Speaker A: A giant shilling.
[00:39:51] Speaker B: Only an iron replica of one. Just a little conceit of mine to advertise who wrecked Operation Beaver when that juggernaut rolls downhill and smashes into the dam.
[00:40:00] Speaker A: So the original plan was that the dam was to be destroyed by the British troops?
[00:40:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:05] Speaker A: But their plan was routed because they took a giant Indian head and threw and used a catapult. Trees.
And the Indian head took their guns?
[00:40:16] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: So apparently they weren't able to recover their guns. Like, the guns are permanently stuck to
[00:40:20] Speaker B: the Indian head because it's magnetic.
[00:40:22] Speaker A: And the troops are gone.
[00:40:26] Speaker B: Well, they were punched.
[00:40:28] Speaker A: Okay? They were punched. Right. So now she's had a gigantic iron coin made in the shape of, of, and likeness of a shilling?
[00:40:38] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:40:38] Speaker A: And the plan is to roll it down the mountain to destroy the dam?
[00:40:43] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:40:44] Speaker A: How crazy. How did she have time to have this iron coin made?
Was it always to be thus?
[00:40:55] Speaker B: Well, she does say it was a conceit of hers so that everybody knew it was her.
Who was that? Just like Lady Olenna.
Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.
Hang on. In 1776.
Price of iron in 1776. 9 to 11 pounds per ton.
And roughly 18 to 20 shillings per ton for crude cast iron. Now, this shilling, based on, let's say tomahawk, is 6ft tall. This shilling probably has a diameter of about 14ft and is about a foot and a half thick.
[00:41:39] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:41:40] Speaker B: That's a lot of iron, I'm thinking.
[00:41:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
As a matter of fact, we
[00:41:52] Speaker B: see
[00:41:53] Speaker A: two iron, three, four men.
Moving it into action.
Moving it into play. In a few pages, four men.
[00:42:04] Speaker B: Now, we're burying the lead because sunlight shining from the shilling dazzles Tomahawk and makes him dizzy. Makes his brain spin. Shilling, Shilling. Lady Shilling. The Rangers.
[00:42:15] Speaker A: Now I remember.
[00:42:15] Speaker B: Now I remember everything.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: Because everybody knows that lead is shiny. Speaking mirror, like, yes. Not.
[00:42:22] Speaker B: It's not lead. It's iron.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: Okay. Well, raw. Okay, go ahead.
[00:42:28] Speaker B: We can see it's shiny because it's got shine lines coming off of it.
Duh.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: Okay, so now he remembers everything.
[00:42:36] Speaker B: He does. Speaking of amnesia, Random Harvest is coming out on Blu Ray next month.
Be prepared, everybody.
All right.
Yes. Lady Schilling's own conceit has helped restore Tomahawk's memory. That with an assist from Big Anvil's fist.
[00:42:54] Speaker A: So he says to the mask. No, the hood.
[00:42:59] Speaker B: The hood.
[00:43:01] Speaker A: I gotta get away so I can warn the Rangers, he thinks to himself, and he says, I think I'll take a little walk. But the fresh air, it might help clear my head. She's suspicious.
[00:43:10] Speaker B: She is.
Tom, you don't like walking.
[00:43:15] Speaker A: You don't like fresh air.
[00:43:17] Speaker B: Meanwhile, Ms. Liberty, apparently has traveled to the American Southwest.
The Badlands.
[00:43:25] Speaker A: Because I thought we were up, you know, in New England.
[00:43:28] Speaker B: Yeah, so did I. But no, this is clearly a mesa in the distance and no greenery to be seen.
All right.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: And she's doubled over, crying.
[00:43:42] Speaker B: Doubled over, crying on her horse. Meanwhile, unaware that Tomahawk has recovered his senses and is no longer an enemy, Long Rifle moves swiftly toward his target.
At that moment, Ms. Liberty comes upon a pile of rocks simulating a dam with an upright twig. The signal that the dam is to be attacked. But only Tomahawk could have left it. That bandage on his head. As a nurse, I've heard doctors say a head wound can cause temporary amnesia. Also, as a nurse, because I'm a girl, I've never directly observed that.
I've only heard it from men, doctors.
That must account for Tomahawk's betrayal. Lady Schilling must have seen to that. But this signal means he's got his memory back. Now Long Rifle's on the way to kill him. I'VE got to stop him. It'd be too terrible if I. Oh, I've got to. But can I do it? Will I be in time? I hope I'm not too late. Judy Garland. Young Judy Garland should play Miss Liberty.
[00:44:47] Speaker A: She has gone from sobbing while riding a horse to discovering that a stick between some rocks is a signal to just remembering that her nurse.
What she heard is a nurse has amnesia. And now she's riding away in frenetic energy to save his life.
[00:45:06] Speaker B: Yes, I was afraid that they had not commonly used the term amnesia in the 1700s. But I just did some research.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: I saw you over there Googling. Which allowed me to do some recap for our listener.
[00:45:21] Speaker B: Thank you.
Now, Long Rifle's all too ready to shoot Tomahawk.
[00:45:27] Speaker A: Yeah, well, he didn't want to.
[00:45:29] Speaker B: Doesn't want to, but he's feels obligated because all the other fellers told him to.
Slowly, Long Rifle's finger tightens on the trigger. He squeezes it slowly.
Slowly, then crack.
Can this really be it? The end of Tomahawk? What hostile Indians and a merciless enemy fail to do. Is it to be accomplished, ironically, by a bullet sped by one of his own men?
[00:45:55] Speaker A: Turn the page and find out. And the crack was Miss Liberty's whip. Phew.
I had to crack my whip. Wait. I'm sorry. She's the American. I had to crack my whip to stop you. Long Rifle. Tomahawk's not our enemy now. He had amnesia, but he's fully recovered now.
[00:46:15] Speaker B: Huh. Am I glad you stopped me. I could never live with myself if I just shot him.
Hold on.
[00:46:22] Speaker A: Go ahead.
[00:46:22] Speaker B: Some of the Hood's engines, they've grabbed Hum Hawk. I gotta get down there, try to stop him.
[00:46:28] Speaker A: No. You're the only one, man. I won't let you risk it. It's more important you warn the Rangers. The Hood is leading an attack on the the dam.
Get going at once. And don't worry. I'll do my best to free Tomahawk somehow.
[00:46:45] Speaker B: Yeah, it's probably better that you send a man on foot to warn the Rangers instead of you riding your horse over there.
Ms. Liberty, shortly we find the Tomahawk's been strung up on this giant shilling.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: When you started complaining, your head ached, I suspected your memory was returning, so I had you followed.
[00:47:03] Speaker B: Oh, you fool.
[00:47:04] Speaker A: I don't want to kill you.
Don't worry, you won't. Not if I have anything to say about it.
[00:47:12] Speaker B: Ms. Liberty, an impressive video. Time dungeons. You're about to sacrifice your own life.
[00:47:18] Speaker A: Needlessly, she attacks her with a sword. Nice try, dearie, but you missed one of your fangs.
[00:47:26] Speaker B: If I can't have him, nobody will.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: Oh, no. You're going to kill Tomahawk. But it's not going to be that easy, m'.
[00:47:35] Speaker B: Lady.
[00:47:35] Speaker A: You're going.
Making myself laughed in my own stupid, awful line. Delivery. You're going to have to duel me first.
[00:47:45] Speaker B: So there's a cat fight right out here in front of this giant shilling. Tomahawk sees two Indians sneaking up behind Ms. Liberty, and he can't do a thing to warn her, so she's captured.
[00:47:58] Speaker A: What? Oh, Tomahawk. I tried. I. I'm sorry.
[00:48:05] Speaker B: Your loyalty to Tomahawk must be rewarded. So I'm going to let you have the privilege of watching him die.
You men take both of them along. Oh, wait, no. She's got a disguised voice.
[00:48:15] Speaker A: That's all right.
I was just thinking, in a few
[00:48:21] Speaker B: seconds, that giant shilling with Tomahawk will start rolling downhill. Once it starts, nothing will stop it until it smashes through the dam.
Tomahawk. And the dam destroyed in one stroke.
[00:48:35] Speaker A: What a charm.
[00:48:37] Speaker B: All set. Let it go now.
[00:48:40] Speaker A: Do you know who does the absolute, absolute best? Vapid woman's voice.
[00:48:46] Speaker B: Jake.
[00:48:47] Speaker A: Jake. I envy his ability to do that. Like my stupid reading. Right now, I'm trying to do this sort of, like, American who can't. Like, he does it to. I cannot listen to it without cry. Laughing. It is hysterical.
[00:49:04] Speaker B: Well, maybe we'll have him to be a guest on the podcast again someday.
[00:49:07] Speaker A: He does the best.
[00:49:09] Speaker B: Now this shilling is rolling downhill faster and faster. He can't get loose now.
[00:49:13] Speaker A: How could he not die? I mean, if it's rolling so fast that he is literally a blur. The blood is rushing to his extremities, including his head. Yeah, how does he not die?
[00:49:23] Speaker B: Well, I mean, you know, astronauts can survive up to, like, 11 G's, so.
[00:49:29] Speaker A: Okay, so. But. Sunlight glinting off the gleaming disc alerts the rangers camped below. Oh, look, something rolling down the wheel. Sakura, Tomahawka is died.
[00:49:38] Speaker B: Do it.
[00:49:39] Speaker A: Woo.
[00:49:40] Speaker B: That thing's too big and coming down too fast to be stopped.
[00:49:43] Speaker A: Let's stop drawing and do something. We're Rangers, ain't we?
[00:49:47] Speaker B: Now that's Big Anvil. He's from Maine.
[00:49:50] Speaker A: Oh, Maine accent. Maine accent.
[00:49:53] Speaker B: Stop jawing and do something. We're Rangers, ain't we?
[00:49:57] Speaker A: You're doing the New Hampshire accent, I think.
[00:49:59] Speaker B: What's the difference? They're all there.
[00:50:01] Speaker A: Let's stop John. And let's stop John. And do something. We're rangers, ain't we?
[00:50:06] Speaker B: That's good. Yeah.
[00:50:06] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:50:07] Speaker B: Anyway, off they go.
They have no chance to get there except for one.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: They're gonna strap Big Anvil to the catapult.
[00:50:17] Speaker B: Uh huh. Which is very dangerous.
[00:50:20] Speaker A: Very dangerous because he's gonna be thrown through the air. So. Hope their aim is correct. He has to. They have to aim him toward a gigantic ton coin rolling down a hill with Tomahawk strapped to it. Yes, they have to get him. They have to time it just so with their just visual guessing, guesswork. Throw him on this catapult, toss him into the air, and he has to hit it just right to stop the downward flow.
[00:50:48] Speaker B: Now Tomahawk, big anvil rather, is about 50 yards away, still in the air. He sees that he's going to miss by inches.
However, he's very lucky that he has big feet.
And you know what they say, big feet, big footprints. That's right.
He manages to knock the giant schilling over. It lands on the ground. Tomahawk is somehow still alive.
And he is freed.
And he explains to the other Rangers that he's got his memory back. Just then, the Hood with her band of Indians orders them to start firing upon the Rangers, which they do.
Tomahawk has the idea to use this giant shilling as a shield.
So they prop it up and start pushing it uphill towards the firing Indian army.
And Big Anvil can't stop complaining about his stupid feet. Why didn't he go get a pedicure while he's at the manicure station?
All right.
They get up there, they start punching. Big Anvil just picks up this giant shilling on his shoulders and tosses it at the British soldiers, who also lands
[00:52:15] Speaker A: on top of them.
[00:52:15] Speaker B: Somehow appear.
[00:52:16] Speaker A: Somehow. I mean, one can assume that he's killing them. Yes, like that giant coin is going to just land on them and kill them.
[00:52:22] Speaker B: Probably they're smashed to death.
[00:52:24] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:52:26] Speaker B: Now, the Hood, remember, has captured Ms. Liberty and has her held at gunpoint.
Tomahawk orders them not to do anything. Don't budge, don't even breathe.
But here comes Stovepipe.
My father, the general. Did you heard? Did you know my father was a general?
I've only said it every time I've appeared on panel. My father, the general, always said it was a battle etiquette to salute a gallant victor. My hat's off to you, ma'. Am.
Swack.
[00:52:57] Speaker A: And he knocks the revolver out of her hand.
[00:53:01] Speaker B: Yes.
Now, Tomahawk knew that Stovepipe had an arsenal of weapons hidden in his hat. But what flew out of it knocked that gun out of the hood's hand.
[00:53:11] Speaker A: Just a shilling. I always keep a coin in there in case I ever need some hard cash.
[00:53:15] Speaker B: My father, the General, always told me to carry some spare coinage in my hat, so I always do.
[00:53:21] Speaker A: Hard cash. That reminds me. Thank you, Ms. Liberty. The Rangers will be able to recover the gold from the sunken ship. She just smiles.
That's it. That's how it ends.
[00:53:35] Speaker B: That's how it ends.
I know that it's more realistic, but I always find it disconcerting when these characters wearing domino masks are drawn with pupils.
I prefer the Batman look with just blank eyes.
[00:53:49] Speaker A: Oh, it drives me insane that Batman has no eyes. Why no pupils?
It's stupid.
[00:53:55] Speaker B: You're stupid.
[00:53:57] Speaker A: Where am I?
[00:53:59] Speaker B: Well, I just don't. Robin doesn't always have pupils either.
[00:54:03] Speaker A: Okay,
[00:54:06] Speaker B: well, yes, I enjoyed this issue of Tomahawk more than any other issue of Tomahawk than I've. That I've read. And that's really saying something. Boy.
[00:54:15] Speaker A: Yes, I thought this is pretty good.
The story did take a hard left turn with the giant magnetic Indian head being taken out of the cave, which is a desecration of a sacred site. But, hey, you know, as long as the British get destroyed, I believe this
[00:54:31] Speaker B: is the most realistic issue of Tamalk that we've read yet. No Frankenstein?
No.
There was one with a gorilla. Remember the Indian gorilla?
[00:54:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:54:45] Speaker B: Thunder Man.
[00:54:46] Speaker A: Gorillas are famously not located in North America.
[00:54:49] Speaker B: Yes, well, he escaped from the circus or something and was adopted by an Indian.
[00:54:53] Speaker A: The pre Civil War circus.
[00:54:55] Speaker B: Yes. They had circuses in the American Revolution, I'm quite certain.
Thunder Man. Remember Thunder Man? He has the belt that causes lightning to come out from the sky.
[00:55:09] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Did I say pre Civil War? I meant pre American Revolution.
[00:55:12] Speaker B: I know what you meant.
[00:55:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:15] Speaker B: And I believe Thunderman. Thunderman returns in our next issue of Tomahawk.
[00:55:20] Speaker A: Oh, God. Should I sort of be so lucky?
[00:55:22] Speaker B: As to next week, you're in for a treat.
[00:55:26] Speaker A: What? What?
[00:55:26] Speaker B: What? What?
[00:55:27] Speaker A: What?
[00:55:27] Speaker B: Batman. Speaking of people with no pupils.
[00:55:30] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:55:31] Speaker B: It's Batman next week. Yeah, you can find us on social media, Ogochuckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra with the aforementioned Chuck. And you can find us right back here next week with Batman.
[00:55:48] Speaker A: Batman. Is it detective comics?
[00:55:50] Speaker B: No, it's Batman comics.
[00:55:52] Speaker A: Batman comics. Okay, cool.
[00:55:53] Speaker B: All right, bye.
[00:56:02] Speaker A: Why?
[00:56:04] Speaker B: Wondering why.
[00:56:06] Speaker A: So we're kicking out the Hands of
[00:56:08] Speaker B: Christ Looking for the world.
[00:56:20] Speaker A: Thinking it all behind.
It.
Out the hate Looking for the world.