Checkered Past Episode 3: Adventure Comics #341

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? Yeah. Are you with it? [00:00:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:02] Speaker A: Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hang on, hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past, a loving postmodern examination of the. [00:00:20] Speaker A: Go. Go. [00:00:21] Speaker B: Check branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob, and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This Week, Adventure Comics 341. Cover date February 1966 cover price $0.12. Cover artists Curt Swan and Sheldon Moldolf. Edited by Mort Weisinger in which Computeho conjures a catastrophe for our cutting edge combatants and. And Superboy seals himself in a sundown sonambulatorium. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go. Go. With most of the Legion of Superheroes captured, the remaining members hold a funeral for the deceased Triplicate Girl. However, when two of her copies show up alive and well, they realize that it was only one copy of her that was killed. The two survivors are rechristened Duo Damsel, and the group begins thinking of a way to try and destroy Computo and his army. Their first attempt is to distract Computo with the previously unknown Weirdo Legionnaire, while Colossal Boy smashes the robots holding the other Legion members captive. With their friends free except for Saturn Girl, the Legion manages to escape into the ancient Bat Cave to get a brief respite. In a final effort to stop Computo, the Legion gets a brief assist by a temporarily powered up Bouncing Boy. This gives Brainiac five times enough to summon an antimatter creature to destroy Computo and his robots and rescue Saturn Girl. Meanwhile, back in the past, Superboy continues to experiment in his junior lab in the hopes of finding a cure for kryptonite poisoning. His experiment malfunctions and a mysterious gas blankets him. The gas has lasting effects on the Boy of Steel, and as the moon rises, he finds himself turning evil and terrorizing the town of Smallville. Before long, the realization of what he has become takes hold of him. He erects a powerful cage inside of his bedroom and asks his parents to keep him sealed up. Jonathan and Martha Kent keep a block of kryptonite close by to keep Superboy in check. By the following evening, however, the effects of the gas wear away and Superboy returns to normal. Phew. Confused yet? Get in line, sister. We'll be right Back to break it down after a brief message from the public service announcement players. Public service announcement Theater presents Superboy says know your country. One afternoon in Smallville, Sigrid has invited us to her house for supper. Her mother's making something called cotbuller. I'm not going. Neither am I. I don't like any of those foreign sounding things. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Hmm. Sigrid is that little Scandinavian girl who's new here. Nobody has paid much attention to her because she's a little different. Maybe Superboy can do something about this. A quick change of costume in a nearby hallway and. Hiya. Going over to Sigrid's later. I'm guest of honor, you know Superboy? [00:03:43] Speaker B: Why, er, sure. [00:03:46] Speaker A: We'll be there later at Sigrid's house, where Superboy has been graciously welcomed. [00:03:54] Speaker B: Say, this cot bowler is delicious. Like little hamburgers with wonderful stuff in it. Mmm. [00:04:04] Speaker A: Bet you're glad you didn't pass it up. You never can tell what you're missing if you don't try. If you want to know your country, learn about differences among people and food, languages, customs and dress, and respect these differences because no single land, race or nationality can claim this country as its own. America is a blend of cultures from many lands. Never forget that. [00:04:30] Speaker B: Presented as a public service in cooperation with the National Social Welfare Assembly Coordinating Organization for National Health, Welfare and Recreation Agencies of the usa. You didn't know that Superboy was Superman as a boy? [00:04:44] Speaker A: No. [00:04:45] Speaker B: Who'd you think he was? [00:04:46] Speaker A: I didn't really care. I just thought he was like Superman's nephew. [00:04:54] Speaker B: Now you're thinking of Donald Duck. [00:04:56] Speaker A: No, no, come on. [00:04:58] Speaker B: What? [00:04:59] Speaker A: Why do we have a Superboy and a Superman? [00:05:02] Speaker B: Because Superman was a boy, and when he was a boy, he was still super, and so he was Superboy. [00:05:07] Speaker A: Is this like in the Bible, how we start with, you know, we don't have any stories of Jesus, you know, as a child, except when he went into the temple. [00:05:14] Speaker B: Well, actually, in the Apocrypha, there's all kinds of stories. Jesus. [00:05:17] Speaker A: I know. Making birds out of clay and all. [00:05:19] Speaker B: Sorts of life and then kills him. Kills trees, other children. Yes, he did. You're Catholic, you should know all about that. [00:05:27] Speaker A: I don't. I didn't read the Apocrypha. [00:05:29] Speaker B: Now, I'll give you credit. Nowadays, Superboy is not Superman as a boy. [00:05:35] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:05:36] Speaker B: He. He is in fact Superman's son in current continuity. [00:05:39] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:05:41] Speaker B: And there was a time when there was another Superboy who was no relation to Superman or something. He was a Clone or something. It was the 90s. I kind of lost focus. But we're in the 60s now. Specifically February 1966. [00:05:56] Speaker A: If we're in February 1966, I'm not even born yet. [00:05:59] Speaker B: Correct. Yeah, neither am I, actually. So Superboy is Superman as a boy and in the 30th century. [00:06:07] Speaker A: Yes. I'm not quite sure how he got there, but Supergirl has this post hypnotic suggestion or something that when he goes back, he loses memory of it. [00:06:16] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll get to that. [00:06:17] Speaker A: So can I just say something? [00:06:19] Speaker B: Yes, please. [00:06:19] Speaker A: There are a lot of characters that have to be introduced in a session, you know, which is why I read the roll Call and. And I recognized some of them, but other ones, I just was like, oh, wow, who are they? [00:06:30] Speaker B: So here's a quick recap. The Legion of Superheroes are superheroes in the 30th century. In the 30th century, they're teenagers. They were inspired by the legend of Superboy. So they traveled back in time to invite Superboy to be a member of their super powered club. And he can travel to the future under his own power, of course, because he's super. So he travels to the 30th century and has adventures there with the Legion of Superheroes. [00:06:59] Speaker A: Because the adventures he has in the 20th century are not good enough. [00:07:04] Speaker B: Well, come on. If you could travel to the 30th century and have adventures, wouldn't you? [00:07:10] Speaker A: I suppose I would. [00:07:12] Speaker B: He's been doing it for years and years at this point. And the Legion of Superheroes were intended to be just a one off story featuring Superboy going to the future. But they proved to be so popular that they were brought back and eventually took over this cover spot in Adventure Comics. [00:07:29] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:30] Speaker B: Of which we're reading issue number 341. The first issue of Adventure Comics to support the Gogo Checks masthead. [00:07:39] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Which is the whole reason we're here. [00:07:41] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:42] Speaker B: All right, Roll call. [00:07:45] Speaker A: Right. [00:07:46] Speaker B: Bouncing Boy. [00:07:47] Speaker A: Bouncing Boy. Now I know who Bouncing Boy is. He's a boy who bounces. [00:07:50] Speaker B: He's a boy who bounces. Although at the moment, he doesn't have his powers. [00:07:54] Speaker A: Yeah, they were taken away, weren't they? Yeah, but he's given what he. He gets them back. [00:08:01] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll get there. [00:08:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. [00:08:03] Speaker B: Brainiac 5. [00:08:04] Speaker A: I know who Brainiac 5 is because I'm watching Supergirl. [00:08:07] Speaker B: Oh, well, yes, he does. Piero. Supergirl. [00:08:09] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:09] Speaker B: The television show on CBS television, Monday nights at 8. [00:08:12] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:13] Speaker B: I don't know. It's changing nights, though. [00:08:14] Speaker A: I don't know. But he doesn't matter because we DVR. [00:08:17] Speaker B: Right? Brainiac5, as you probably guessed, is a descendant of the evil robot Brainiac. Although Brainiac 5 is not a robot. He's a living being. [00:08:29] Speaker A: And he's not evil. [00:08:30] Speaker B: No, he's just stupid. [00:08:33] Speaker A: Yeah. Chameleon Boy. Apparently, he's a boy who has chameleon like powers. [00:08:38] Speaker B: Yes. More than just a chameleon. He can actually change shape and density and structure and things of that nature. Colossal Boy. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Who can make himself large. [00:08:50] Speaker B: Yes. He can grow giants. Every teenager stream. Cosmic Boy. He has magnetic abilities. Invisible Kid. [00:09:01] Speaker A: That's pretty. [00:09:02] Speaker B: Invisible Kid is so invisible that I don't recall seeing him in this story at all. [00:09:07] Speaker A: No, I just figured he was just clustered over there in the group who kept on, you know, launching these little distraction and attack campaigns, you know, and standing by to see if they work. [00:09:17] Speaker B: Element Ladies. He can change any element into another element. [00:09:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:22] Speaker B: Light Lass. She can make things light. [00:09:25] Speaker A: Oh, that. I was thinking it would have something to do with actual light. [00:09:29] Speaker B: The. The energy. No, she can just make things float around. Light Lass is the twin sister of Lightning Lad, who can project lightning. She actually used to have the ability to project lightning, but because Legion of Superheroes rules dictate that no two members can have the same superpower. [00:09:48] Speaker A: But she's the sister of Lightning La. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. So she had to change her powers. [00:09:54] Speaker B: She had her powers changed by Dream Girl because Dream Girl had some kind of premonition that everyone was gonna die. Something. I don't recall the details, but yeah. She changed Lightning Lass's powers to light powers so that Light Lass could stay in the Legion so that her powers wouldn't duplicate. Oh, yeah. Matter Eater Lad. [00:10:23] Speaker A: He eats matter? [00:10:24] Speaker B: Yes, he can eat any form of matter. [00:10:27] Speaker A: Is he a big guy? [00:10:28] Speaker B: No, slim and trim. Mon El. [00:10:32] Speaker A: We know Mon El. We do. He's dating Supergirl. [00:10:35] Speaker B: Well, that's on tv. Never really happened in the comics. Phantom Girl. [00:10:39] Speaker A: But Mon El is also from Krypton. No, he's not. [00:10:41] Speaker B: No, Daxam Dax in Daxan. Same idea, though. Phantom Girl. She can make herself immaterial. Means she can pass through solid objects. Like a ghost. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Like Kitty Pride. [00:10:57] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. Very good. Saturn Girl. [00:11:00] Speaker A: Did I get a star today? What is Saturn Girl? She make herself. She have rings like a bathtub. [00:11:07] Speaker B: She's a telepath. Oh, she comes from actually the moon of Saturn. [00:11:11] Speaker A: Titan. Okay. [00:11:13] Speaker B: Shrinking violet. [00:11:15] Speaker A: She must get small. [00:11:16] Speaker B: Yes, Starboy. Yeah, he can make things super heavy. [00:11:22] Speaker A: Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. [00:11:26] Speaker B: Sun Boy, he can shine like the sun. Project heat. [00:11:32] Speaker A: That's a real stretch there. [00:11:34] Speaker B: Superboy. [00:11:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:37] Speaker B: You know him? [00:11:37] Speaker A: Yep. [00:11:38] Speaker B: Ultra Boy who has the same powers as Superboy, but he can only use one at a time. [00:11:42] Speaker A: What? [00:11:43] Speaker B: Right. Yep. [00:11:44] Speaker A: So he can only fly or he can only have laser vision. Or only. [00:11:48] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Oh. [00:11:51] Speaker B: And the weirdo legionnaire who we're introduced secret in this issue. The weirdo legionnaire has three heads, some. [00:12:01] Speaker A: Kind of tentacly arms. [00:12:02] Speaker B: Tentacly arms? Arms. 1, 2, 3, 4 arms. Some kind of gills or fins or something growing out of his hips. Or are those just weirdly shaped jodhpurs? Is that how you pronounce that word? [00:12:19] Speaker A: Yes. Well, I think jodhpurs might be the riding pants themselves. You know, I don't know. I mean, he's certainly any. [00:12:27] Speaker B: He's a. He's a redhead. [00:12:28] Speaker A: And he's wearing a mask on each of his three heads. [00:12:31] Speaker B: Yeah, but shirtless otherwise. [00:12:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:34] Speaker B: All right. [00:12:35] Speaker A: Pretty ripped for a three. [00:12:38] Speaker B: Well, he's got to have musculature to support those three heads and those metal arms. [00:12:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:46] Speaker B: As is going to be the case for a couple of more episodes. We're coming in on the middle of a story, right? Apparently, last issue, Computo, who was Created by Brainiac5. I do know that much. [00:13:00] Speaker A: To do what? Housework? [00:13:03] Speaker B: Vacuum, I'm guessing. [00:13:04] Speaker A: Yeah, he looks like he basically does housework. [00:13:07] Speaker B: What are those new fangled vacuums for the Australian guy on tv. [00:13:11] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, those little. [00:13:13] Speaker B: Dyson. [00:13:13] Speaker A: Dyson. [00:13:14] Speaker B: Dyson sphere. That's what Computer's army looks like. [00:13:17] Speaker A: Well, for the longest time I was staring at this, trying to figure out what was in front of computer, and I thought they were giant earphones, but it turns out those were wheels. [00:13:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:25] Speaker A: For him to move about, Computer looks. [00:13:27] Speaker B: A little like Conkey on Peevish Playhouse. Yeah, but his army looks like Dyson vacuum cleaners. [00:13:36] Speaker A: Actually. Yes. Dyson vacuum cleaners. Or when you were a child, did your parents give you that little thing? [00:13:42] Speaker B: A little Fisher Price? Yes. [00:13:44] Speaker A: Thing that would pop up and. Yeah, that's what they look like. Only there are people inside. [00:13:47] Speaker B: I never had one. I was so jealous. [00:13:49] Speaker A: Kids, that you had plenty of toys. I've seen the pictures. [00:13:53] Speaker B: You've seen the toys? Actually, that I still have sitting on my desk. [00:13:57] Speaker A: Plenty of toys. [00:13:59] Speaker B: So Computo's army is attacking Metropolis. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Yes. [00:14:05] Speaker B: People are running and fleeing and being killed. [00:14:07] Speaker A: And inside, each of them is held captive A member of the legionnaires. [00:14:12] Speaker B: Correct. [00:14:13] Speaker A: A legion of superheroes. Yes. [00:14:16] Speaker B: And we see this at the bottom of the first page. I believe this also happened last issue. One of Triplicate Girl's bodies is being killed. Well, we don't know. It's only one of her bodies. [00:14:29] Speaker A: Right. [00:14:29] Speaker B: We. [00:14:32] Speaker A: She looks like Joan Crawford a little bit. Or Olivia de Havilland, you know? [00:14:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:36] Speaker A: And. And she doesn't actually look like the Triplicate girls that appear later on in the issue. [00:14:45] Speaker B: Are you sure about that? [00:14:46] Speaker A: Pretty sure. I think that they have auburn hair. [00:14:50] Speaker B: Where are you looking? Because. [00:14:51] Speaker A: Right here. [00:14:53] Speaker B: Yeah, well, she's being disintegrated, Right? Well, you can't. She's. How can you tell what she looks like? [00:15:00] Speaker A: I will just sort of. I will extrapolate. I'm gonna go past the urn here. Look, this is not the same woman who's being disintegrated. [00:15:12] Speaker B: It. How can you tell she's being disintegrated? [00:15:16] Speaker A: Her hair is all curly and flippy. [00:15:18] Speaker B: Because it's being. It's turning into atoms. [00:15:21] Speaker A: It. [00:15:22] Speaker B: You're. It's like, turn the page. [00:15:25] Speaker A: Okay. But it's like using Margot Kidder as your model for the disintegrating girl. And then later on, you know, someone walks in the room, and it's Bonnie. Bonnie Ray. Bonnie. No, Bonnie. [00:15:39] Speaker B: What's. You. [00:15:40] Speaker A: Really? Bonnie Tyler. Bonnie Tyler. Yeah. Bonnie Tyler. It's like having Bonnie Tyler walk in, you know, and. And she's saying, hey, everybody, it's. There are two of me left. And they're like, wait, we saw. [00:15:51] Speaker B: All right, anyway, here we gather the legionnaires together. A moment of respite against the attack in Metropolis. Matter Eater Lad is going after Brainiac 5, who's very upset because he realizes it is his fault that computer was created and killed Triplicate Girl. [00:16:16] Speaker A: But what panel are you on? [00:16:19] Speaker B: I'm on panel one. [00:16:21] Speaker A: You're not on this one. [00:16:22] Speaker B: Three? No. [00:16:23] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:16:24] Speaker B: What page is that? [00:16:26] Speaker A: Are you on this panel? [00:16:27] Speaker B: No. One more page. One more. [00:16:31] Speaker A: This one? No. This one? [00:16:36] Speaker B: No. [00:16:36] Speaker A: This one? [00:16:37] Speaker B: No. There you go. [00:16:39] Speaker A: I just want to call your attention to the top panel of the previous page. Yeah, that man who's in panic. [00:16:44] Speaker B: Which one? [00:16:45] Speaker A: Are all in panic? Back over his shoulder. Yeah, I think he's drawn very well. [00:16:50] Speaker B: Well, this art is by Curt Swan, who is actually one of my very favorite artists in all of comics history. He pretty much drew all Superman stories throughout the 1970s, which is when I started reading comic books. And he did draw a lot of these great Legion of Superhero stories. [00:17:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:10] Speaker B: During this time, this glamour gal in that top panel. Yee. Help. [00:17:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Notice how the stripes Go differently in different directions. [00:17:22] Speaker B: Yes. [00:17:22] Speaker A: Yeah. But I did think that he was drawn particularly well. I liked the details that the, like, I don't know how many chins he has. Well, at least two. [00:17:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:30] Speaker A: But you can see the shading and you really can see the panic in his face. [00:17:33] Speaker B: I wonder if that's based on a real person. [00:17:35] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:17:38] Speaker B: Some people die. Typically. A girl dies, of course. Next page. The legionnaires are gathered together talking about their sadness over Triplicate Girl being killed. Now take a careful look at that first panel. Yes. You see at about 7:00. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Yes. [00:18:00] Speaker B: That's Triplicate Girl, purple bodysuit and orange cape and brown hair. [00:18:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:05] Speaker B: There she is. Alive, standing in the group. Maybe they're just so overcome with grief that nobody noticed her. [00:18:13] Speaker A: You know this group, group so well that you know for sure that's Triplicate Girl. [00:18:16] Speaker B: Absolutely, without a doubt. Okay, so because there's no other girl Legionnaire that wears a cape, can I. [00:18:21] Speaker A: Just point out that Triplicate Girl is in that panel that you're talking about. [00:18:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:26] Speaker A: A dark haired woman. And may I point out one more thing? [00:18:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:18:32] Speaker A: If you go forward a few pages to the page where Triplicate Girl actually is exposed. [00:18:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:37] Speaker A: But look at the panel up above. There she is standing in the group, looking at them. And the voice comes out from the side saying, what do you mean, my death? [00:18:48] Speaker B: Do you think we've exposed some kind of conspiracy here? Or do you suppose Curt Swan just didn't read the script? [00:18:55] Speaker A: He might have been phoning it in. [00:18:57] Speaker B: No, not Kurt Swan. [00:18:58] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:18:58] Speaker B: He's a legend. He might have though. Not we. [00:19:02] Speaker A: I swear. We just found a mistake. [00:19:05] Speaker B: We found a couple. [00:19:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Oh yeah. [00:19:07] Speaker A: If you count the two voices coming off to the side and the woman here. In fact, she's never dead. She's. All three of her. All three versions of her exist. [00:19:16] Speaker B: Well, later on in time, she doesn't. [00:19:18] Speaker A: Say anything about it. [00:19:19] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:19] Speaker A: Like the third. The third one has been standing there looking at the group all along and. [00:19:23] Speaker B: Nobody notices her at all. [00:19:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Is she invisible last? [00:19:27] Speaker B: No. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Did I make that name? [00:19:30] Speaker B: You did. I wish that dog would stop barking in the other room. [00:19:33] Speaker A: Yeah, like right on cue. Okay, I'll go back to where you were. So, the legionnaire space urn. My God. [00:19:41] Speaker B: What? [00:19:44] Speaker A: Okay, I'm sorry, this is. It's a bit much. [00:19:48] Speaker B: So the legionnaires are preparing to gather Triplicate Girls dispersed atoms into a super space urn, which Brainiac 5 conceives of and has Superboy and Mon El build at. At super speed. [00:20:05] Speaker A: So the paint's not even dry. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Right. He sucks all of the dust of Triple Girl into the super spacer and shoots it off into space. So all of the legionnaires sign their names to the super space urn with the. What is that, an apple pencil? What are they using? Electro stylistylus? I guess Superboy hadn't learned yet that he could sign his name with heat vision like he does. [00:20:31] Speaker A: He might have forgotten when he crossed forward, when he moved forward. [00:20:35] Speaker B: Well, he's not a main yet. It hasn't happened. They send the space urn to Shanghala, which is a flat rock with a lighthouse on it, floating in space, full of monuments to fallen heroes. Here's the description. Shanghala, the cemetery satellite where rest the mortal remains of scores of superheroes from all over the cosmos who lived and loved and fought and then died heroically, majestically, unforgettably. Shanghala, venerated by the billions of inhabitants of millions of galaxies. [00:21:18] Speaker A: Okay, I had to kiss you with this. [00:21:20] Speaker B: What's the problem? [00:21:21] Speaker A: The actual size of the rock on. Upon which all of these monuments. Yeah, because they say they use the words venerated by billions of inhabitants of millions of galaxies. Yeah, and you look, there's maybe 30 monuments there. [00:21:36] Speaker B: That's generous. I'd say about 16. And room for no more, right? [00:21:43] Speaker A: Yeah, you're right, about 16. So through the billions of inhabitants and millions of galaxies, these 16 people get to rest on this rock out in the middle of space. I mean, they're monuments. They're ashes are put on this rock. [00:21:58] Speaker B: We were assuming they're ashes. I'm just gonna read some of the monuments. Are you ready? [00:22:03] Speaker A: Oh, sure. I can't read them on mine. [00:22:06] Speaker B: Here we go. Mog Yagor, who saved his home planet Vasmir. He sounds Indian, doesn't he? But perished himself while defeating a space beast. And there on his monument is a hologram of something of him defeating the space beast. Hate face. The face of a devil, the soul of an angel. He rescued millions, yet none could bear his revolting visage. Some say he died in battle. Others say it was his broken heart that killed him. Well, he doesn't look so bad. He's got kind of devil horns and ears and big wide eyes. But I've seen worse. Yeah, Beast Boy, though. He turned against humanity. This youth from the planet Lalor died heroically saving a child from a monster that actually did happen in a legion. [00:23:03] Speaker A: Wait, I zoomed in a little bit. Nimbuk of Vallor. This mutant rescued his alien race from a score of incredible perils. Until he was slain by a treacherous sorcerer who pretended to be his most trusted friend. [00:23:19] Speaker B: That sounds interesting. I wonder if that's in print anywhere. Triplica Girl with just the signatures of the legionnaires and her. [00:23:26] Speaker A: Nothing extraordinary about her life, just a bunch of signatures. [00:23:29] Speaker B: Now it's like a bill. Leta87. Single handedly she defeated innumerable supervillains, but one day slipped on a banyo fruit peel, fracturing her skull. An ironic end to an illustrious career. Now, Mog Yegor, who defeated a space beast, has a depiction of him defeating the space beast. Beast Boy, though he turned against humanity, has a picture of himself turning into a beast, which was his superpower. Nimbak Valor has a picture of him being defeated by the sorcerer, treacherous sorcerer, who was his most trusted friend. Leda 87, on her tombstone, immortalized for the billions of inhabitants of the galaxy, has a picture of her slipping on the banyo fruit peel and about to land on her fracture her skull. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:29] Speaker B: Now, I want this recorded now for posterity when I die. Yes, the cause of my death is going to be tripping over a dog, falling down the stairs and having my face eaten by the dogs when I'm not found for days and days. That's exactly what I want on my tombstone. Me. A picture of you crumpled, lying at the bottom of the stairs with my face eaten off and the dog sitting beside me. [00:24:56] Speaker A: No wonder you like this so much. [00:24:58] Speaker B: No. Whatever I might do with the rest of my life, I don't want any heroic deeds. [00:25:03] Speaker A: None of your accomplishments, none of the people you've influenced, none of the wonderful, extraordinary performances. Nothing. [00:25:08] Speaker B: Nope. Just you don't want lying crumbled at the bottom of the stairs with the half eaten face. [00:25:12] Speaker A: Do you want like a laser description on a laser inscri on a metal plate? [00:25:17] Speaker B: Well, by that time you'll probably have holographic imagery that you can just walk. [00:25:22] Speaker A: By and walk by and see it over and over again. [00:25:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like a magic picture. Like coming from one angle I'm at the top of the stairs petting the dog, and the next angle I'm lying at the bottom crumpled, with a happy face. [00:25:33] Speaker A: No face. [00:25:37] Speaker B: Now I feel like I should apologize again to all women. These heroic men have their heroic deeds immortalized. And Borlita 87, mid flip, about to fracture her skull. [00:25:47] Speaker A: You didn't draw this. You can't apologize. We can all look at this and laugh at it and say it was a terrible time. Anyway, this is when bosses used to slap their secretaries on the ass. [00:25:59] Speaker B: Oh, is that not okay? [00:26:03] Speaker A: Oh, God. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Back to Earth Morning, Triplica Girl. Although there she stands. [00:26:09] Speaker A: There she stands right in the upper left panel. She's right there listening to Superboy say, that clanking Frankenstein will pay for the death of Triplicate Girl. Why doesn't she go, excuse me, I'm right in front of you. [00:26:22] Speaker B: She's. Maybe she's shy. [00:26:25] Speaker A: There are three of her. What's to be shy about? [00:26:27] Speaker B: How many more there are? There's only two. [00:26:29] Speaker A: And she calls herself Duo Damsel. [00:26:32] Speaker B: Yeah, she's pretty chipper for having had a third of her. She just. [00:26:37] Speaker A: She's not the only person or she's not the only being in that group that has lost some of its mass or will lose some of its mass in this issue. [00:26:45] Speaker B: Yes. Don't jump ahead. Well, it's just like people. [00:26:50] Speaker A: It's very frustrating. [00:26:51] Speaker B: Anyway, here she is, happy as a lark, still alive. Part of her. Look at. [00:26:56] Speaker A: So you notice in the. In the second, in the middle of the page. Yeah, the right panel. Look at the really cool angle that she has. She's got her chin lifted and she's looking over at. I don't know who that is. Lucille Ball, Light Lass. Okay, so Lucille Ball. She's looking over at Lucille Ball. But I like the angle of her. Of her. Her body. There's really energy in that. [00:27:17] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm telling you, Kurt Swan man, he's a good artist. Master Superboy says they're going to send the weirdo legionnaire out. Shrinking Violet says weirdo? Because no one's ever heard of the weirdo legionnaire. [00:27:33] Speaker A: But she's also standing away from the crowd. [00:27:35] Speaker B: Well, she's shy. That's why her name's Shrinking Violet. Here comes Computer and his army. The weirdo legionnaire marches out with his tentacles armed and ready. [00:27:45] Speaker A: And his and his have got to be finned. Maybe he just. Maybe he's imagines himself a proficient swimmer. [00:27:53] Speaker B: Well, we don't know. He could have the power of swimming. He's a mystery. Yeah, and a weirdo. So Weirdo Legionnaire charges out. Do you notice he doesn't have nipples? [00:28:06] Speaker A: Well, I just noticed that he's speaking from one mouth, but all of his mouths are open in this horrific grimace. [00:28:15] Speaker B: Yeah, he looks like kind of like Charlie McCarthy a little bit. [00:28:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:22] Speaker B: If Charlie McCarthy had three heads. Weirdo Legionnaire attacks. Meanwhile, while Computo's distracted, Colossal Boy grows giant, smashes some robots together, freeing Sunboy and Starboy and then tosses them into space. [00:28:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Which is kind of. I thought at first was kind of interesting, but you know that he sort of, you know, frees him and said, here you go. Boom. [00:28:47] Speaker B: Well, it's a ruse. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Yes, I got that. [00:28:50] Speaker B: He's trying to make computer think that he's evil. Evil. [00:28:54] Speaker A: There's a lot of really exceptional and well conceived deception. [00:29:02] Speaker B: Yes. Now, I always kind of dug Colossal Boy's original costume, which is this green shirt with yellow epaulettes and a yellow collar, which at one time had red stars on the collar. Doesn't have it in this issue, but he had a very western kind of look with a studded belt. [00:29:24] Speaker A: Oh, really? [00:29:25] Speaker B: Yellow pants reminds me of the great jazz musician Yellow Pants Johnson. [00:29:31] Speaker A: I have no idea what you're talking about. [00:29:33] Speaker B: I just made that up. Weirdo Legionnaire. Now that the other legionnaires are free, he starts turning into play doh. And turns out he's not a legionnaire at all. [00:29:43] Speaker A: Yeah. So instead of just walking away or doing anything, he decides to take advantage of the male chute and turns into some malleable form that puts himself into the mail chute and zooms away. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Okay, well, let's break this down a little bit. First of all, it's a thousand years in the future. [00:30:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:02] Speaker B: Apparently hipsters have taken over society and decided that air compressed mail chutes are a thing to go again. [00:30:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:11] Speaker B: Forget email, Twitter, Facebook, your electronic communication. [00:30:16] Speaker A: Nothing like that. [00:30:17] Speaker B: You can have it. [00:30:17] Speaker A: Yeah, well, they, they couldn't predict that that was going to happen in 1966, but they did see that, you know, 10 centuries in the future, we're definitely still. [00:30:27] Speaker B: We have technology to have mail chutes traversing the city and. [00:30:32] Speaker A: Okay. So I just have to, you know, these, these, these characters are all new to them. [00:30:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:36] Speaker A: I don't understand this. This pile of mayonnaise. [00:30:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:43] Speaker A: On the shoulder of the. [00:30:44] Speaker B: Of the prote 2 42. [00:30:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:48] Speaker B: Is chameleon Boy's pet. [00:30:51] Speaker A: Okay. [00:30:51] Speaker B: And sort of shares the abilities of Chameleon Boy and he can change shape. [00:30:58] Speaker A: And so like a demon. A what Demon. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Oh, from dark materials. Yes, yes, sort of. Although they're not connected at the soul level, that I know. [00:31:12] Speaker A: And is it inconvenient to have him sitting on his shoulder? Because I can't help but think that's going to leave a grease spot. [00:31:20] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't know what kind of extrusions this creature might have. I know that it is considered. I don't know. I've never he looks like he would be wet. Yeah. [00:31:33] Speaker A: Doesn't he? [00:31:33] Speaker B: He really does. [00:31:34] Speaker A: Yeah. And oily. [00:31:35] Speaker B: And oily. [00:31:36] Speaker A: Basically, like a big blob of mayonnaise. [00:31:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:38] Speaker B: That can talk, Apparently. Yeah. [00:31:40] Speaker A: Now I think of him when I. When I actually look and see the words, I think of it sounding a lot like the Shmoo. Yeah. Only we can. We get to hear it. We get to read it. Actually. [00:31:59] Speaker B: I'm trying to figure out an easy way to explain this to you. Proty 2 is the descendant of Proty 1, who was also Chameleon Boy's pet. [00:32:07] Speaker A: Oh, God, I'm already bored. [00:32:09] Speaker B: There was a period of time when Lightning Lad was dead, but somebody, probably Brainiac 5, figured out a way to revive Lightning Lad. But the catch was you had to stand around in a group and everyone hold up a lightning rod. And whoever got struck by lightning, that lightning would bring Lightning Lad back to life, but kill the person that was holding the lightning round. [00:32:37] Speaker A: Wait, so they're going to sacrifice one of the member of the team? [00:32:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:40] Speaker A: To bring back lightning? Why would. I mean, did they do they did the person with a chronic disease or. [00:32:47] Speaker B: No, it was. [00:32:48] Speaker A: Say I'll hold it. [00:32:50] Speaker B: No, it was Saturn Girl who was in love with Lightning Lad and was going to sacrifice herself for Lightning Lad. [00:32:57] Speaker A: Well, that's very Romeo and Juliet. [00:33:00] Speaker B: However, Prody1 took Saturn Girl's place, disguised itself as her. [00:33:06] Speaker A: What did he do with her? [00:33:08] Speaker B: I don't know. Tied her up or something. It doesn't matter. He. But Prody 1 died. [00:33:13] Speaker A: Okay. [00:33:14] Speaker B: In place of Saturn Girl and Proti 2 now is the remaining pet of Camille Boy. Now everyone considers Prody 2 to be a pet. Although produce 2 can carry on a conversation with everyone and talk and in fact go out to battle computer when you know Chameleon Boy, the actual Legion of Superheroes member. [00:33:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:40] Speaker B: Could have done that. Yeah, himself. [00:33:44] Speaker A: Well, I'm sure they knew what they were doing. [00:33:46] Speaker B: And Community boy, now after Proty 2 heroically went out to battle Computo alone, Kameoboy is fat shaming his pet. [00:33:58] Speaker A: Totally fat shaming him. [00:33:59] Speaker B: You look better. Since Computo sliced off some of your protoplasmic substance, it not only couldn't harm you, but now you won't have to diet. You were getting unpleasantly plumpish. [00:34:11] Speaker A: Nice. [00:34:12] Speaker B: Brody2 responds not in self defense, but with self deprecating. [00:34:18] Speaker A: I still won't win beauty contests unless I change myself to look like a pretty girl. [00:34:24] Speaker B: So say we all. Now I'm getting a little angry at this comic. [00:34:29] Speaker A: You know I just have to tell you. [00:34:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:31] Speaker A: So much of this comic made me upset. [00:34:33] Speaker B: I'm sorry. [00:34:33] Speaker A: No, no, it's fine. It's. It's part of the charm. [00:34:36] Speaker B: The legionnaires instruct Superboy to tunnel beneath the earth. Why? [00:34:42] Speaker A: So that they can go to find. To get away from computer and confab. [00:34:48] Speaker B: Yeah, right. And where they end up? [00:34:51] Speaker A: Batman's the bat cave. Batman's bat cave. [00:34:54] Speaker B: Now, I have to tell you, I've read this comic before. I had no recollection that they actually discovered the Batcave. In this period of comics, it was very unusual to cross pollinate like that. You would see Superman and Batman team up, of course, but to have the Legion of Superheroes actually reference Batman was a little bit unusual. So here we are in the Batcave. This is when it's first revealed that Superboy never recalls any information about his future life when he returns to his own time era because of a post hypnotic suggestion previously implanted in his mind by Supergirl. First of all, I don't know what Supergirl has to do with it, because she doesn't have the power to hypnotize people, does she? [00:35:45] Speaker A: You're asking me? I would only know from watching television. [00:35:48] Speaker B: When I was growing up, which was much later than this comic was published, I knew it was common knowledge that Superboy had this post hypnotic suggestion, but I always thought that it was implanted by Saturn Girl, who is the telepathic member. [00:36:03] Speaker A: Yes. Well, I'm 46 and until today I always thought that Superboy was Superman's cousin. [00:36:07] Speaker B: Fair point. So I don't know if this is a misprint or if it's actually just nobody thought it through because it stated twice in this issue that Supergirl has implanted the post hypnotic suggestion. [00:36:20] Speaker A: Well, clearly the writers want us to understand that she has the ability to put a very strong post hypnotic suggestion in his brain. [00:36:26] Speaker B: Well, here's my sticking point, Rob. Supergirl is also a member of the Legion of Superheroes. In fact, there's some theories that she was actually a member before Superboy, but she can't. She has to have the same post hypnotic suggestion. She can't remember her future when she goes back to the past. Right? [00:36:46] Speaker A: I. I don't know. I mean, maybe she really likes the Legion of Superheroes and she wants. [00:36:51] Speaker B: She does. She's in love with Brainiac 5, so. [00:36:53] Speaker A: Maybe because of that, that's her. That's her group, that's her posse. So she is doing everything in her power to make sure that Superboy doesn't Mess it up for her. Can we just turn the page? [00:37:09] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I like to see the Bat Cave. Of course. [00:37:10] Speaker A: Can I just say one thing? [00:37:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:12] Speaker A: They did go into Batman's cave to escape computer. Yeah, but they didn't, because there was a bright flash of light and he said, suddenly there's a globe of dazzling, brilliant material materializes and a metallic voice booms forth. It was simple to trace you. [00:37:31] Speaker B: I did not do the metallic voice. [00:37:32] Speaker A: Oh, it was simple to trace you. I could kill you, but prefer making you suffer. Hear this. One hour hence hence, he says. One hour hence. One hour hence. I shall destroy the captive legionnaire. Saturn Girl. Computer has spoken. [00:37:50] Speaker B: And Superboy says, that electronic Lucifer. Who's he? Dr. Smith from Lost in Space. Superfidious pile of poke dry. [00:37:59] Speaker A: I mean, we started this knowing that, you know, computer is actually just a sophisticated housekeeper. Right? Yeah, he's really surpassed his programming. [00:38:07] Speaker B: I'll say. I like that. Anytime you see the Batcave, there's this giant penny and the robot dinosaur. [00:38:14] Speaker A: What's the giant penny? A boot. [00:38:16] Speaker B: Well, these are things that happen, actually, in stories. I could find it on the Internet. [00:38:22] Speaker A: No, no. [00:38:23] Speaker B: But, yeah, there's. That's trophies that Batman keeps around in his Batcave. [00:38:26] Speaker A: I love his Joker playing card. It's huge. Well, I'm assuming it's a portrait. [00:38:30] Speaker B: Portrait of the Joker. Conveniently labeled the Joker. [00:38:34] Speaker A: Joker. As if we wouldn't know. [00:38:35] Speaker B: Continuing on. Saturn Girl is doomed to die unless they can save her. Brainiac 5, quick, please come up with something. [00:38:42] Speaker A: This is where I start to. Okay. Do you like this next turn in the story? [00:38:49] Speaker B: Oh, I. Yeah, I'm actually. [00:38:51] Speaker A: I love it. [00:38:51] Speaker B: Excited about how everything's kind of coming together from all of DC Comics history. [00:38:56] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't think about it like that. But I just. I just love what they do next. [00:39:01] Speaker B: So here's what they do, folks. They take a ray machine from the Batcave, fire it at computer, which creates a bizarro computer. [00:39:12] Speaker A: Bizarro computer. [00:39:13] Speaker B: You all know Bizarro as an imperfect duplicate of Superman. If you haven't been reading a lot of comics, you might recognize him from the Super Friends cartoon program. I think it's a good opportunity for us to recite the Bizarro code since we're here. Are you ready? [00:39:35] Speaker A: I don't have it, but just repeat after me, okay? [00:39:37] Speaker B: Us do opposite of all earthly things. [00:39:40] Speaker A: Us do opposite of all earthly things. [00:39:43] Speaker B: Us hate beauty. [00:39:44] Speaker A: Us hate beauty. [00:39:45] Speaker B: Us love ugliness. [00:39:48] Speaker A: Us love ugliness. [00:39:49] Speaker B: Is big crime to make anything perfect On Bizarro World is big crime. [00:39:54] Speaker A: To make anything perfect on Bizarro World. [00:39:57] Speaker B: That is the supreme law of the Bizarro's home planet. [00:39:59] Speaker A: That is the supreme law of. [00:40:01] Speaker B: Oh, no, I'm done. You can always repeat anymore, right? Yes. Bizarros also hate grammar and cleanliness. So Bizarro Computo looks even more like Conky. Yeah, he has bicycle wheels. You can even hear the way he's drawn. You can hear him clanking. [00:40:23] Speaker A: Yes. [00:40:25] Speaker B: Bizarro Computo is ordered by Brainiac 5 to clean up the computer army. So he grabs a giant bucket of suds and stirs them up and pours them on the computer army. [00:40:43] Speaker A: He sure does. And they actually talk about what kind of. He sings a little song, doesn't he? [00:40:47] Speaker B: He sings a little song. You know where Bizarro Computo belongs? In the metal man. Yes, except he doesn't scream enough. Bizarro Computo is a big failure. He's destroyed by real Computo. Computo is about to destroy Saturn Girl. So what is. [00:41:04] Speaker A: How does Bizarro Computer make his giant mop? [00:41:08] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:41:09] Speaker A: Maybe he's using a mop. A long handled mop. And I mean, this is. [00:41:13] Speaker B: Oh, it is a giant mop. [00:41:14] Speaker A: It would be a mop. It would be a mop. [00:41:15] Speaker B: I don't know where he got it. I know exactly where he got it. [00:41:17] Speaker A: Where? [00:41:17] Speaker B: Batcave. Batman has all kinds of giant typewriters and things that he's been trapped by in his career. [00:41:24] Speaker A: Sure. [00:41:25] Speaker B: Yeah. That answers that. To the rescue. Here comes Bouncing Boy. But no longer a Legion member because he lost his power of super bouncing. [00:41:34] Speaker A: Right. And I'm not sure exactly what. How that's a power, but apparently it is. [00:41:39] Speaker B: Well, he can inflate his body. [00:41:41] Speaker A: Yes. [00:41:42] Speaker B: Like a beach ball. [00:41:44] Speaker A: Right. And bounce around as he exclaims in the panel. I can bounce again. [00:41:50] Speaker B: Yes, because computer fires gas at him and gives him his powers back for 30 minutes. [00:41:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:57] Speaker B: So Bouncing Boy bounces around and. Yeah. It doesn't do any good. As probably could be predicted by anyone. [00:42:04] Speaker A: Yeah. He manages to avoid getting trapped by all the arms. [00:42:07] Speaker B: Yes. Only because Superboy blows him out of the way. [00:42:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:12] Speaker B: Superboy blows him. Bouncy Boy then loses his powers again and turns thin. [00:42:20] Speaker A: I would love to be able to do that. [00:42:21] Speaker B: Right. Well, this is another thing I don't understand. Bouncing Boy's power is to inflate his body. Well, I would think he could do that whether he's thin or fat. But when he has his powers, he's always drawn as fat. No matter if he's bouncing or not, he's just a big guy. But now, you see when he loses his powers, he's thin. [00:42:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And a great haircut. [00:42:49] Speaker B: It is fantastic. It's kind of a rocketeer, a side swoop thing. Yeah. I'm gonna call that an undercut with Come over. The clock is ticking for Saturn Girl. She's gonna be killed by computer. Brainiac 5 has one more idea. Fires another beam of energy into the. [00:43:10] Speaker A: Air to release antimatter. [00:43:15] Speaker B: Not just antimatter, Rob. An anti matter force thing. [00:43:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:20] Speaker B: It's a hyphenated word, hyphenated force, hyphen thing. Could they. Was everyone just done? Could they not think of. This is an antimatter. [00:43:30] Speaker A: It might have been Friday afternoon, 4:30. They're just trying to crank this story out. [00:43:36] Speaker B: An anti matter force. [00:43:37] Speaker A: You know how it gets. At the end of the week, you're. [00:43:38] Speaker B: Just like, trust me, I do. Antimatter, of course, will destroy all normal matter, so. [00:43:48] Speaker A: But from what I've read. [00:43:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:51] Speaker A: It's not the kind of explosion from matter and antimatter colliding together. [00:43:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:57] Speaker A: Is it not something that you can, you know, you can stand and watch from an observable distance like we are here? [00:44:02] Speaker B: Probably not. [00:44:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:05] Speaker B: But this is comic book logic, okay. And apparently the antimatter force thing does have some kind of consciousness because it's looks like it's firing beams of energy at. [00:44:21] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, it's attacking things. It's attacking all these little popcorn robots. [00:44:27] Speaker B: So the robots are destroyed, the remaining trapped legionnaires are freed. Brainiac 5 is exultant because his scheme worked. This is a beautiful full page illustration of the robots being destroyed. [00:44:42] Speaker A: It's nice. [00:44:43] Speaker B: Full page illustrations were also a rarity in this day. [00:44:46] Speaker A: Were they? [00:44:47] Speaker B: Yeah, but there's too much valuable real. [00:44:50] Speaker A: Estate being taken up. [00:44:51] Speaker B: Well, as we've seen, they pack a lot of story into these pages. So, you know, if you filled this one page with panels, you could probably kill and resurrect three or four different people. [00:45:05] Speaker A: Sure. While they're standing there watching themselves being killed. [00:45:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:10] Speaker A: And. And quietly observing all the morning going on. Yes. [00:45:13] Speaker B: There's Invisible Kid actually top center in one of the bubbles. I spotted him. Yes. And there, if you turn the page, there's Invisible Kid being rescued by Mon El. [00:45:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:45:26] Speaker B: Anyway, computer's destroyed. Finally, the antimatter force thing begins to turn on the legionnaires because it's mindless, apparently. I don't know. Then it just disappears. Oh, wait, no. Brainiac 5 rewiring AK21 coracle into a dynamo Dubal 2 outlet did the trick. Do you understand what that means? [00:45:54] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm having technical problems with my viewer. [00:45:56] Speaker B: I'm sorry. [00:45:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I just lost. I've now finally gotten back to where it is. Okay, where are you? [00:46:01] Speaker B: I'm on the very last page of the story where Brainiac 5 says rewiring AK21 coracle into Dino Dew Ball outlet did the trick. I. I think, I think you're right about the Friday at 4:30. [00:46:20] Speaker A: Oh, totally. They just. I mean, the clock was ticking and someone in the office was pouring martinis and they were just really desperate to get home. [00:46:28] Speaker B: Well, all well that ends well. Superboy's headed back to his own time, which apparently is 1930 because that's where the. [00:46:37] Speaker A: Now when he's flying back and forth in time. [00:46:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:40] Speaker A: Does he actually see the digits of the years inscribed in the sky like that? [00:46:45] Speaker B: That sure would be handy because I don't know how else you'd know where to come out or go. [00:46:49] Speaker A: Exactly. Yeah. Since he forgets that he was actually there. [00:46:53] Speaker B: Right. As we can see by his thought bubble. Well, we sure beat computer. By. By. How did we beat him? I can't recall. [00:47:04] Speaker A: Right. [00:47:04] Speaker B: Last panel. Brainiac 5 is bossing the legionnaires around. [00:47:11] Speaker A: And he really shouldn't be bossing anyone around. He should be meekly offering to make dinner, you know, do something. [00:47:18] Speaker B: Yep. [00:47:19] Speaker A: To help his friends unwind. [00:47:21] Speaker B: Yep. Let's move on. We have a backup story here in this issue, a Hall of Fame classic, Superboy's Moonlight Spell. Reprinted from Superboy number 65. [00:47:34] Speaker A: Ouch. So what is a Hall of Fame classic? Tell me about it. [00:47:36] Speaker B: It's a reprint. It's, you know, they've taken an old inventory story and just reprinted it so they didn't have to do anything new. [00:47:42] Speaker A: Okay. [00:47:42] Speaker B: Cuz they used up so much of their talents in the feature story in the. [00:47:49] Speaker A: So they came back in on Monday morning and said, oh wow, we really wrapped that up on Friday. [00:47:53] Speaker B: We had eight more pages to fill. [00:47:54] Speaker A: Y. [00:47:55] Speaker B: Well, this story shows me once more that Superboy is an. [00:48:01] Speaker A: Yeah, well, he's an idiot. What the hell is he trying to do with the kryptonite? Is he trying to get rid of it? [00:48:09] Speaker B: No, he's trying to experiment to find an antidote for kryptonite, the one substance that can affect him. [00:48:16] Speaker A: Right. So he pours acid on it. [00:48:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:19] Speaker A: And doesn't realize that he's inhaled the gas. [00:48:22] Speaker B: Right. So it's sulfuric acid and kryptonite. I wonder what kind of chemical reaction that's. Do we know anything about the kryptonite atomic structure and how it reacts to other materials? [00:48:35] Speaker A: I'm a musician. [00:48:36] Speaker B: Oh. That night in his identity as Clark Kent, relaxing in his room, he slowly turns into a maniacal, yellow skinned, laughing creature. [00:48:49] Speaker A: He looks kind of like Dick Van Dyke a little bit. Really? [00:48:55] Speaker B: No. [00:48:56] Speaker A: A bit like Dean Martin. [00:48:57] Speaker B: This story, I should mention, is written by Bill Fingers, longtime writer of Batman stories and pretty much the one responsible for creating all the giant props that Batman was always being tied to. So we can thank him for the giant mop in the 30th century. I can't. I found conflicting information about who penciled this story. It's either George Papp or Al Plastino. [00:49:21] Speaker A: And so can I just. Yeah, I want to get back to that mop. Okay. You say that that mop was taken from Batman's cave. [00:49:29] Speaker B: That's my assumption, yes. [00:49:31] Speaker A: That MOP survived 1,000 years. [00:49:36] Speaker B: It's a cave. We have caveman art that survived for 30,000 years. [00:49:41] Speaker A: We don't have mops created by cavemen. [00:49:45] Speaker B: Because cavemen were filthy. They didn't mop. Conflicting information about who penciled this story. I found one source and another thing. Can I finish a sentence? [00:49:56] Speaker A: Okay, go ahead. [00:49:57] Speaker B: I found one source that said George Papp. I found another source that said Al Plastino. I'm going to say Al Plastino because Al Plastino draws very distinctive ears. And in this close up shot of the yellow faced, evil Clark Kent. That looks like a Plastino ear if I ever saw one. Now you were saying the hood. [00:50:19] Speaker A: Yeah, he just happened to have this hood sitting around in his room. [00:50:24] Speaker B: He did grow up in small town America. So that's all I'm going to say about that. [00:50:30] Speaker A: Okay. [00:50:32] Speaker B: So he's. Superboy is heading out to destroy the town because he's been driven insane by the light of the moon. And the gas that he inhaled earlier. [00:50:41] Speaker A: Yeah, the krypton, the kryptonite and sulfuric acid gas. Yeah. [00:50:45] Speaker B: So he begins his reign of destruction by throwing boulders off the overpass. That's very dangerous. People die when kids get the idea to throw stuff off of overpasses. [00:50:55] Speaker A: Well, this is supposed to make us feel anxious. [00:50:58] Speaker B: Well, I am very anxious. That's really my number one fear when I'm driving that on a highway. [00:51:04] Speaker A: Someone's going to throw something. [00:51:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Like you'll see several in. In inner city overpasses. They've actually fenced it off so no one can reach up but Superboy. Yeah, Yeah. [00:51:18] Speaker A: I want to call your attention to the. The words bam and crash. I really appreciated that. The sea is broken. [00:51:26] Speaker B: Broken is great. [00:51:28] Speaker A: It's very clever. [00:51:31] Speaker B: Superboy comes to his senses, repairs everything that he just wrecked, goes home. [00:51:39] Speaker A: Mm. [00:51:40] Speaker B: Now, who's this little blonde girl he's walking to school with? It's not Lana Lang because she's redhead. [00:51:46] Speaker A: I don't know, but I have to go back one page just to point out something. [00:51:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:53] Speaker A: Are there leaves on the trees when he is throwing boulders at the car? [00:52:00] Speaker B: No. [00:52:00] Speaker A: Are there leaves on the trees by the bridge? No. Are there leaves on the next page on the trees? [00:52:10] Speaker B: Yes. [00:52:11] Speaker A: What time of year is this? [00:52:14] Speaker B: I'm gonna say early to mid spring, because it's in Kansas. [00:52:25] Speaker A: He's wearing sweater. [00:52:26] Speaker B: He's walking to school with a sweater. No jacket. [00:52:29] Speaker A: She also is wearing a sweater. So there's layers. There are layers. [00:52:31] Speaker B: Layers. But no. [00:52:32] Speaker A: And he has a T shirt on underneath. None of that, too. [00:52:34] Speaker B: Yes. [00:52:35] Speaker A: And. [00:52:35] Speaker B: And of course, his Superboy costume. [00:52:37] Speaker A: Yeah, well, he's wearing. So he's wearing several layers. Okay, so you think it's spring. [00:52:41] Speaker B: I think so. Now, it could be because he's being affected by the full moon night after night. Well, we know that full moon isn't full, but for one night, Right? [00:52:53] Speaker A: Right. [00:52:54] Speaker B: A month. [00:52:55] Speaker A: So do you think this story is unfolding? [00:52:57] Speaker B: It could be over months and months. Another masked attack. He's clanging the church bell for comic effect. I'm sure you also appreciate that the clang is lettered in such a way that it looks like it's vibrating. [00:53:13] Speaker A: Very good. [00:53:13] Speaker B: Yeah. The passersby say that hooded figure, it's him. The outlaw boy from outer space. Well, how. What indicates that he's from outer space? [00:53:22] Speaker A: Well, he's not wearing a giant glass space helmet. [00:53:25] Speaker B: No. And he doesn't announce that he's from outer space. [00:53:29] Speaker A: I think the townspeople are taking a lot of liberties with this. [00:53:32] Speaker B: I do, too. In fact, maybe they've already guessed that it is Superboy and they're just playing along. Superboy comes across some escaped convicts who have come to dig up money that they hid. And he helps them by lifting a building off its foundation so that they can easily get to the money. Once again, comes to his senses, traps the escaped convicts by throwing metal girders to surround their car. [00:53:59] Speaker A: He couldn't just stop the car. He's got to use. He's got to create a prison around the car. [00:54:04] Speaker B: Listen, that's a classic superhero maneuver. Create a cage of limbs or girders or rebar around a prisoner or an escaping car. I'm not gonna fault him for that. He's learning. He's Superboy. Apparently, he caused a traffic jam at some time because he's gone to clear up the traffic jam that he says he caused. Although there's no scene of him causing a traffic jam. [00:54:32] Speaker A: Wonder what he did. [00:54:35] Speaker B: Now, here we get to the. My favorite panel. Superboy describing the teenage condition because he lies to his parents. [00:54:44] Speaker A: Well, his mother was rooting around in his drawers. [00:54:49] Speaker B: She was. [00:54:49] Speaker A: She says she uses the pretense. I was putting some fresh pajamas in your bureau. In your bureau, and I found this. [00:54:57] Speaker B: Look, if you don't want your mother rooting around in your drawers when she's putting away pajamas, put away your own damn pajamas. [00:55:04] Speaker A: Right. Well, problem solved. Of course, my mother never put my laundry away. [00:55:09] Speaker B: Well, mine did, but I didn't have anything to hide. Superboy lost in his thoughts. I lied before. The first time I've ever lied to my parents. But why am I only bad sometimes and good others? I think every teenager in America can relate to that. [00:55:29] Speaker A: Of course. [00:55:30] Speaker B: Blah, blah, blah. He's gonna find the cause. Oh, look at his pajamas. Polka dot. Superboy realizes what's happening and begs his parents to lock him in his room. [00:55:43] Speaker A: Oh, this is the thing that makes me so angry. [00:55:48] Speaker B: Go on. [00:55:48] Speaker A: It's just a ridiculous amount of work that he puts his parents through. That he puts them through. He asks them to take the kryptonite, put it in a lead box, smash it up into dust, mix it with paint and paint his entire room with kryptonite dust. [00:56:01] Speaker B: Yes. [00:56:02] Speaker A: And put bars on his windows. [00:56:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:05] Speaker A: And he says, no matter what. [00:56:06] Speaker B: No matter what. Remember, I lied to you last night, so I'll lie again. So no matter what excuse I give you for wanting to go out, no matter how plausible it sounds. Don't believe me? [00:56:17] Speaker A: Like most teens. [00:56:18] Speaker B: Well, the boy who cried wolf. Because guess what happens. A volcanic eruption is building up in the mountain overlooking our town. Our town in Kansas. [00:56:29] Speaker A: How? It's trapped in a room that has been painted in with paint that contains kryptonite dust. [00:56:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:38] Speaker A: If he's looking out through a window with bars that have been coated in kryptonite paint. How can he even use his powers to see this? [00:56:45] Speaker B: Good point. [00:56:47] Speaker A: You didn't think of that. [00:56:48] Speaker B: No, I did. Right away. [00:56:49] Speaker A: I said, oh, this is a problem. [00:56:51] Speaker B: That's why you're here. Yeah. He's using his x ray vision to look out of the window to see the volcanic. [00:56:59] Speaker A: The volcanic. The volcanic activity in Kansas. [00:57:02] Speaker B: Right. Yeah, but then he does not have the power to break out of his room because of the kryptonite. And his parents won't let him out because he lied before. So. That's your lesson, kids. Don't lie. [00:57:14] Speaker A: Don't lie. [00:57:15] Speaker B: He gets a gear out of his alarm clock with which he's going to cut through the kryptonite bars. [00:57:23] Speaker A: But his father's gonna take him to do that? [00:57:26] Speaker B: Well, I don't know. But he barely gets started when his father snags the gear with a fishing pole. Good thing I'm an expert caster, son. I snagged a tiny gear out of an alarm clock with a fishing pole. [00:57:44] Speaker A: Right. Well, he must spend a lot of time, I guess, practicing, that is. He retired Paw Kent. [00:57:50] Speaker B: I'll have to research that. He's. I mean, no, because he's either a farmer or he owns a store in town. So. No, not retired. [00:57:59] Speaker A: One little observation again. How did he get the gear out of the alarm clock? With. With his fingernails. With his. You know, with. With a screwdriver. With tools? [00:58:09] Speaker B: Don't know. Yeah, not clear. Yeah, here we go. He uses his powers heat vision to fuse the motor of the plane that's flying over his head so that it will crash and so his parents will let him out of the room, which they do. Now, Superboy recognized that it was a robot plane, so no one's life was actually in danger. But he flies out to the volcano. The volcano has erupted. But now he has his powers back and he channels a. [00:58:40] Speaker A: He creates a trench with his hands. [00:58:41] Speaker B: A trench for the lava to flow away from the town. His. Smallville is saved. Hooray. [00:58:46] Speaker A: And he throws his cloak, his black cloak into the volcano. [00:58:50] Speaker B: And now he falls asleep. Yeah. No explanation for why the. [00:58:56] Speaker A: Well, he does say that. I guess the gas was temporary. [00:58:59] Speaker B: Where's he set up? [00:59:00] Speaker A: Oh, he talks about that in the. I'll find it. [00:59:05] Speaker B: I don't even care. I've lost interest. [00:59:07] Speaker A: Well, he does talk about the kryptonite paint. Sapped his super strength so that I am as weak as an ordinary boy. Yet he doesn't. [00:59:15] Speaker B: But he saw his heat. [00:59:15] Speaker A: He still has heat vision and X ray vision. So he has those powers that I don't understand. You know how that has happened? [00:59:22] Speaker B: Anyway, here's my favorite part. The letter page. Because we have. The letters are primarily about the legion of superheroes, of course, because that's. Those are the news stories now. I told you, Legionnaires have some strict rules. For instance, you can't have the same power as another member. You also can't remain in the Legion if you're married. [00:59:43] Speaker A: Well, if you're a teenager, why would you be married? [00:59:46] Speaker B: I don't know. Anyway, here's a letter asking, dear Editor, why is it against the Legion constitution to stay in the Legion after marrying? Writes Steve Malloy from Fairland, Indiana. For several reasons, the editor responds. First, taking on the responsibilities of a wife or husband and children can add to a Legionnaire's worries. I'll say this is why in our family, or. Sorry, in our country, family men are deferred from the army draft. Is that true? [01:00:20] Speaker A: I didn't know that. [01:00:21] Speaker B: I didn't either. After all, if a Legionnaire is thinking when in combat with a criminal that if he died he would leave a widow with fatherless children, he would make a pretty worried warrior. Well, this discounts the fact that his wife could also be a Legionnaire. Right. We have married, married cops and married soldiers and all sorts of things nowadays. I'm not gonna read the story about the kid that lost his hair. [01:00:47] Speaker A: His classmates just scanning over that, thinking about the kid who lost his hair to an illness. Oh, it's terrible. Yeah. [01:00:54] Speaker B: But the editor thankfully does call the kids attention to popular actor Yul Brynner, who deliberately shaves his head to keep himself attractively B. Yeah, no, this is what I was actually going to read aloud was the bits of Legionnaire business at the bottom, wherein readers have submitted names of future Legion members. [01:01:19] Speaker A: Oh, Bubba Caton. [01:01:22] Speaker B: Bubba Caton of Tampa, Florida. I think I know him. [01:01:24] Speaker A: Suggests Waterboy from the water world of Xeron. His people evolved the power of controlling water and shooting from their fingertips jets of water so intense they could knock out a person. [01:01:36] Speaker B: All right. Billy Hayden of Oak Harbor, Washington. Suction, lad. He has the power to turn anything to smoke and inhale it, then eject it as smoke and cause it to materialize in any form he chooses. I think Billy Hayden was doing some smoking of his own. [01:01:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I think he wrote that letter. [01:01:57] Speaker B: Washington. You know, those West Coasters. Phil Morrison, Van Nuys, CA. Atmosphere Girl. She can change the atmosphere of any world. Well, I'm not sure that's a good power, because people and creatures have evolved to breathe the atmospheres of their worlds. And if you change it, they'll die. [01:02:19] Speaker A: So our hound dog is getting pretty impressive. [01:02:21] Speaker B: I hear him. Time for. [01:02:23] Speaker A: Oh, I just want to offer one more, please. [01:02:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:25] Speaker A: Brian Olmstead of Rochelle, Illinois. Give up, girl. Girl can give off vibrations that make crooks surrender. Give up Girl. I thought he was gonna say girl. Girl gives off vibrations every time she's confronted with any danger and just walks away. [01:02:45] Speaker B: That's my power. Well, we have matter year, lad. I think give up girl would be a good companion for him. [01:02:54] Speaker A: Detector Dick, this is Ronald Gillis of Dorchester. Is it? Door. Dorchester, Dolchester, Massachusetts. Detector Dick has the power of detecting the plans of any evildoer on earth. [01:03:08] Speaker B: That reminds me of. That reminds me of Mr. Marriott, the seventh grade math teacher. [01:03:15] Speaker A: Oh. [01:03:16] Speaker B: When you made any kind of obvious statement of any kind, he'd say, well, Dick Tracy, shall I tell the other story about Mr. Marriott? [01:03:30] Speaker A: It depends on who's listening to this podcast. [01:03:31] Speaker B: I don't know yet. We haven't released anything yet. [01:03:33] Speaker A: Yes, you should tell the story. [01:03:35] Speaker B: So Mr. Marriott, my sister was in class with him and how much. [01:03:39] Speaker A: How many years younger? [01:03:40] Speaker B: Eight years younger. So Mr. Marriott was somewhat flamboyant personality, if you get my. [01:03:46] Speaker A: Anyone that says, well, Dick Tracy. [01:03:48] Speaker B: And it was also popularly rumored or around the school that he had a prosthetic leg. So my sister and her friends were passing a note in class that said, Mr. Marriott is a peg leg fag. And Mr. Marriott found the note. [01:04:04] Speaker A: I'm only laughing because I've heard this story so many times. [01:04:06] Speaker B: And he snatched it up and he opened the note and read aloud, Mr. Marriott is the peg leg fag. Oh, is he? And he pinned the note to the board and left it there the rest of the year for him. [01:04:20] Speaker A: Can you believe that? [01:04:21] Speaker B: I believe it. [01:04:22] Speaker A: Great story. [01:04:24] Speaker B: All right, that's all I have for this week. Next week, a little change of pace. [01:04:29] Speaker A: What? Please tell me something. [01:04:31] Speaker B: Well, we have a war comic. [01:04:33] Speaker A: Oh, really? [01:04:34] Speaker B: And a romance comic. Oh, two sides of the same coin. War and romance. So yes, stay tuned. Tell your friends. You can find us on social media at GoGoCheckPod. Or you can go directly to our website, CheckeredPass, podient.co. and that's all I have for you. Anything to add? [01:04:58] Speaker A: No, I just. I'm really enjoying getting to know all about these superheroes that, you know, I didn't know anything about at all. Like, I love finding inconsistencies in the comics and all sorts of problems. [01:05:09] Speaker B: Well, that's a treat, isn't it? [01:05:10] Speaker A: It really is. [01:05:11] Speaker B: All right, goodbye for now. [01:05:14] Speaker A: Bye bye. [01:05:14] Speaker B: May.