Future Proof (Jerry Lewis 100/ World's Finest 166)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you ready? [00:00:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:01] Speaker A: Are you with it? Yeah. Okay, let's go. You know what to do. The whole world's watching and counting on you. And all you people listening out there. Everybody everywhere. Hang on, Hang on, hang on. Welcome to Checkered Past. A loving postmodern examination of the. Go. Go. Check branded comic magazines published by DC Comics between February 1966 and August 1967. I'm Dr. Bob and each week I'll be your guide on this trippy tour through 535 mid century masterpieces of graphic noveldom. This week, the Adventures of Jerry Lewis. 100. Cover date May, June 1967 Cover price $0.12. Cover artist Bob Oxner. Edited by Murray Boltanoff. Featuring a haunting We Will Go written by Arnold Drake. Art by Bob Oxner and World's Finest Comics 166Cover Date May 1967Cover Price $0.12. Cover artists Kurt Swan and George Klein. Edited by Mort Wisinger. Featuring the Danger of the Deadly Duo Written by Jim Shooter. Art by Curt Swan and George Klein. Are you ready? Are you with it? Then away we go Go. World around you don't you want to lend a helping hand? Try it on for S. Jerry and the girls of the Little Bo Peep School are offered an old mansion to expand their cramped school facilities. But they must spend the night there to claim it. When they arrive, the supposedly charming house proves to be a frightening old ruin filled with mysterious noises, monsters and other supernatural surprises. Then Muto, the mutant enemy of Superman's descendant in the 30th century, or maybe the 25th, meets the Joker's descendant. Although they begin fighting with each other when they attempt the same robbery, the two villains decide to team up. When they encounter the Superman of 2967, or maybe 2467. They are able to defeat him easily using team tactics. Confused? Don't worry, I'll be right back with doctor Husband to explain and everything. I've got to see you somehow. Not tomorrow. Right now. I know it's late. Whoa, I can't wait. So come on and steal away Please steal away What a gloomy day. [00:03:07] Speaker B: Isn't it though? [00:03:08] Speaker A: It's just drizzled and drizzled all day long. [00:03:10] Speaker B: But it is nice and cool. [00:03:11] Speaker A: Yes, there's that. [00:03:13] Speaker B: Yes. [00:03:14] Speaker A: By cool you mean cold? Because I'm freezing all the time. Say, that shirt you wanted me to check before I washed it. Yes, it had already been washed and put away. [00:03:27] Speaker B: Oh. [00:03:27] Speaker A: So I hope there wasn't gum in your pocket. [00:03:29] Speaker B: No, actually I found the gum by where we keep the keys. [00:03:37] Speaker A: Okay, good, good, good. [00:03:38] Speaker B: But I just found it when I came home. Yeah, sure, yeah. Listener. I had sent Dr. Bob a text from. I was in the car and I said, hey, by the way, if you're doing laundry, there is a pack of gum in my pocket of my shirt. And I described the shirt and I said, please take that out. [00:03:55] Speaker A: Well, it's the funniest thing. There was no pack of gum nor any shirt. [00:03:58] Speaker B: Well, we've been doing laundry for the past couple days, so I guess I took care of it yesterday. [00:04:02] Speaker A: I guess you must have. [00:04:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:04] Speaker A: Okay. That's just like you. [00:04:05] Speaker B: Well, we had a lot of laundry to do. [00:04:07] Speaker A: What else is going on? [00:04:10] Speaker B: Let's see. I had my flute lesson today. Had a guitar lesson on Friday. We hung out with friends this weekend. Oh, what else, what else, what else? Gosh, Busy. October is very, very busy. Listener. There may be a couple weeks without a podcast. I'm not sure. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Gasp. [00:04:30] Speaker B: No, I mean, right? [00:04:32] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes. [00:04:34] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a very busy week. Month, month, month. Starting not. Not this week, but the following week. Yeah. Got like, I'm going away for a conference. I'm attending and speaking at a conference. Then we go to Montana to sing at the end of the month. And it's just like, just a crazy busy month. That middle of the month. That week in the middle of the month. [00:04:56] Speaker A: Crazy. [00:04:56] Speaker B: Woo. [00:04:57] Speaker A: So if you're in Helena, Montana, November 1st or 2nd. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Check your local paper. You come and hear us sing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have nearly as exciting a life as you. I sat on the couch all day and caught up on grading and watched what's My Line? [00:05:13] Speaker B: Well, I drove this morning down to what, Alexandria for my flute lesson. And then on the way home, I got turned around. I missed this one exit. Oh, [00:05:27] Speaker A: God. [00:05:27] Speaker B: There's this one exit. When you're coming back, where you get off of. Is it 95. No, 4. Whatever. 495. Where you're. It's. It's not quite yet the Beltway. And you're in these express lanes. And then you take a quick jog to the right and then go under. And then you. And you take the Dulles Parkway. [00:05:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:47] Speaker B: And getting from our house to my flute lesson is. I could do it with my eyes closed, basically. It's so easy, that one exit. I've missed it over the year or so that I've been taking. A year and a half. Almost a year and a couple months that I've been taking flute lessons and doing this once A month. I've missed that easily twice, maybe even three times. And I know where to pay attention, and I wasn't paying attention this time. [00:06:14] Speaker A: And your little guy doesn't say, stay in the second lane from the left or whatever it is [00:06:21] Speaker B: right there where the exits are. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:25] Speaker B: Just to the right is the exit. Where I take the Dulles. [00:06:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:28] Speaker B: If I stay going on. It says exit, but it means exit to form into the Beltway. [00:06:36] Speaker A: Sure. [00:06:36] Speaker B: Right. And I could take a left exit and. And go into. I don't know where, someplace horrible, someplace awful in Virginia. I don't know. There are three options, and I mean, I have already, by that time, navigated multiple exits all around the Pentagon, all around that area. It's not like I'm new to driving it. It's just this one is not an intuitive, logical sort of thing. And I saw it and I was like, is that it? Oh, God, I missed it. That's how it happened. I was like, was that it? Oh, God, I missed it. [00:07:12] Speaker A: You know, you should do what Sticky note on your windshield. [00:07:15] Speaker B: You're on my little, you know, computer thing there on my dashboard. Yeah, I should just, like, that is the exit, you know, and it's. [00:07:23] Speaker A: It's just silly. [00:07:24] Speaker B: It's. I know, I know. I'm just absent minded. It's just like. It's that one exit. [00:07:28] Speaker A: You've got so much on your mind. [00:07:30] Speaker B: Well, I was listening to a podcast and thinking and stuff, and I can't pay attention. Blah, blah, blah. Actually, what I was listening to, just so you know, I thought it was so interesting. Oh, listener, you're not gonna like this. You're gonna be like, whatever, whatever, tutor, I don't care. [00:07:49] Speaker A: I'm sure listeners interested in all your little projects. [00:07:53] Speaker B: There's this great song by Robbie Dupre called Steal Away. [00:07:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:57] Speaker B: Do you remember it from 1980? [00:08:03] Speaker A: Why don't we Steal away? [00:08:05] Speaker B: Right, right, right. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:07] Speaker B: So I was thinking. And I. And I did it when I was stopped at. I was leaving my flute teacher's house. I was like. I did a search on YouTube before I pulled away, and it was whatever happened to Robbie Dupre? Or no Robbie Dupre, about. Yeah, right. And there was a video about Robbie Dupre and his career. [00:08:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:26] Speaker B: And it was like, perfect, Right? So I put it. And it was like 32 minutes long, so I put it on to play. And what happened at that point was when you play a video through the audio player in my car, when you play a podcast or a song and you're using the iPhone, Navigator it stops. The podcast or the song. [00:08:50] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:08:51] Speaker B: Gives you the directions and resumes when you're playing through YouTube. [00:08:55] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:08:56] Speaker B: And the directions come on. It just lowers the volume in the background of YouTube. And so at that moment, when I screwed up the directions, I was listening to something important about Robbie Dupre's career, and the directions came on top of it, and I was trying to listen to what was happening and I missed that exit. That's what happened. So what was so interesting about Robbie Dupree? Dupre? [00:09:18] Speaker A: I don't know. You said it several different ways. [00:09:21] Speaker B: Let's just say Dupre. That song, Steel Away, he worked with two guys who had also worked with Michael McDonald and Kenny Loggins on. Oh, what's the other one? Super, super famous pop song with the same. [00:09:47] Speaker A: That's not it. [00:09:49] Speaker B: Oh. Anyway, so listeners said it was the Michael McDonald song. Yeah. That he had stolen from it and he hadn't. It was just like. It was just like the yacht rock sort of time period. So. And it'll come to me in just a minute and I'll yell out the name of the song. [00:10:07] Speaker A: Speaking of washed up celebrities. [00:10:09] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:10:10] Speaker A: Big happenings on season two of Love Boat. First of all, out of the Blue, season two, episode 28, new cast intros. We've had the same, you know, when they show all the guest stars and then they show the recurring cast, and it's been the same. [00:10:26] Speaker B: Same stock. [00:10:27] Speaker A: Stock footage. Yes. And Julie. Julie. The camera pans in on her face and at the very last second, she [00:10:35] Speaker B: looks to the right. Well, now, season two, episode 28. [00:10:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:42] Speaker B: They. They introduced new stock footage for all of the. [00:10:47] Speaker A: Just out of the blue. [00:10:47] Speaker B: Not even in, like, listener. You'd think it would be in the start of the new season. Like, okay, season three, we get new footage. [00:10:53] Speaker A: Yeah. But no, just randomly at the end of season two. [00:10:56] Speaker B: So weird. [00:10:57] Speaker A: But that is not the washed up celebrities I was talking about. Oh, also Gopher's parents, which I didn't remember, are Ethel Merman and Bob Cummings. Well, and Bob Cummings, you can Google him. [00:11:10] Speaker B: How much. Oh, my God. [00:11:11] Speaker A: He was high on methamphetamines for 40 years. Yeah. He went to Dr. Feelgood, who injected Hollywood stars with methamphetamines. And he had Parkinson's disease towards the end there. So he wasn't doing well on the show. [00:11:27] Speaker B: Oh, what a fool believes what a fool believes. [00:11:35] Speaker A: When you're walking through the air. [00:11:40] Speaker B: And that's that piano line. [00:11:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:42] Speaker B: That was also used in Steal Away. [00:11:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:44] Speaker B: And so. And it Wasn't like. Like, Michael McDonald wasn't saying that he had stolen that, but the public. [00:11:52] Speaker A: The public was so fickle. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Yeah, they were saying it and they were saying, no, you stole Michael McDonald's thing. And Robbie Dupre said, well, I was inspired, of course, obviously, by Michael McDonald. There's a whole story about that what a fool believes thing. [00:12:08] Speaker A: We're out of time for this week, [00:12:10] Speaker B: so I could tell you all about it next week, because this whole thing about Kenny Loggins and. And Michael McDonald, Michael McDonald's girlfriend or wife or whatever it was. I'll tell you some other time. [00:12:20] Speaker A: And then we can. We can sing Steal away Steal away Steal away to Jesus. All right, now, also, speaking of washed up celebrities. [00:12:38] Speaker B: Oh, poor Bob Cummings. So I know you talked about it, but, like, he was in this episode as Gopher's father. Yeah, and we were watching it. It's the first time we've seen Bob Cummings on the Love Boat. His first appearance. I don't know if it's his only appearance. [00:12:53] Speaker A: I don't know either. [00:12:54] Speaker B: And I turned to you and said, what the hell is wrong with him? He's a zombie. [00:13:00] Speaker A: Literally. [00:13:01] Speaker B: It was the most bizarre thing. Well, he had Parkinson's, but he was mostly. He was strung out on methamphetamines. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was as if. I don't know. And then. Well, season two, episode 2028 is around 28 or 26 right now. 28. 28. Lauren. Lauren tease. Yeah, she's a mess. [00:13:20] Speaker A: Oh, she was high as a kite. [00:13:22] Speaker B: She is. [00:13:23] Speaker A: Oh, you want her new perky intro? [00:13:26] Speaker B: No, she's not the perky Julie McCoy anymore. She's got an edge to her and see her eyes doing that thing to her eyes? [00:13:33] Speaker A: Oh, well, you know, she had a legitimate problem. [00:13:36] Speaker B: She had to leave the show. [00:13:37] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why they had to bring [00:13:38] Speaker B: Vicky so early into the second season. [00:13:40] Speaker A: I know. [00:13:41] Speaker B: Well, I mean, so early into the show's long run. Not. [00:13:43] Speaker A: Well, you start snorting that Love Boat money up here. [00:13:46] Speaker B: Oof. Good night. [00:13:47] Speaker A: Okay, so go Allegedly. [00:13:49] Speaker B: Okay, so, listeners, you were just listening to a preview. Listening to a preview of our podcast that we will start after we finish this podcast. So about two years from now. [00:13:57] Speaker A: No, just one year. [00:13:58] Speaker B: One year from now. Yeah. [00:13:59] Speaker A: I have high ambitions. Also, speaking of washed up celebrities, we have the 100th issue of the Adventures of Jerry. [00:14:09] Speaker B: How has this gone on this long? [00:14:10] Speaker A: I don't know. Well, you know, it started as Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin comics, and then that went the way the dodo. [00:14:15] Speaker B: So yeah. [00:14:16] Speaker A: Continued on with Jerry Lewis. I'm not sure if Dean Martin had his own solo title. I think he did. Anyway. 100 issues out of 120. [00:14:27] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:14:29] Speaker A: Of the Adventures of Jerry Lewis. [00:14:30] Speaker B: Who is buying this? Who was buying this comic? [00:14:34] Speaker A: Kids, I imagine. I don't know. [00:14:35] Speaker B: French kids. [00:14:37] Speaker A: Well, the French people love. [00:14:38] Speaker B: That's why I said that. Yeah. [00:14:40] Speaker A: I mean, the artwork is fantastic. Spa boxer artwork. So, you know, maybe kids that appreciated. Good. [00:14:46] Speaker B: But it's a fever dream. [00:14:48] Speaker A: It's. [00:14:48] Speaker B: Yeah, it's not even a good fever dream. It's not like Doom Patrol Fever Dream. It's like shit Fever dream. [00:14:53] Speaker A: Now, I know that you skimmed this, as did I. [00:14:57] Speaker B: Yes. [00:14:58] Speaker A: So I had prepared to just talk you through the issue without making you read it. But you went ahead and read it. [00:15:04] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I read it. Yeah. [00:15:05] Speaker A: I'm just gonna breeze through it here. Being as it is the hundredth issue, I didn't feel like we could just skip it entirely. [00:15:12] Speaker B: Oh, God, I'm bored. [00:15:14] Speaker A: As you recall, Jerry Lewis teaches at the Little Bo Peep School for girls for some reason. So this issue begins with Jerry teaching shop class. And the lesson today is building a box. [00:15:28] Speaker B: He nearly saws his own arm off. And as he's teaching them how to build the box and they're doing a really good job, he encloses himself inside the box, which is actually the shape of a coffin, but it's a stand up coffin. And then they nail the lid on him and enclose him. [00:15:42] Speaker A: Hardy har har. Yeah. [00:15:44] Speaker B: He breaks out and gets angry. The girls run away, he breaks out only to find the Mrs. Ms. [00:15:51] Speaker A: Bovine. Ms. Bovine, who's trying to get with Jerry. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Yeah, she's sweet on her. [00:15:56] Speaker A: She's overweight, so in the 60s we know that that would never happen. Jerry would never get with an overweight gal. You know she's overweight because her name is Ms. Bovine. [00:16:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:07] Speaker A: Well, get it. [00:16:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:10] Speaker A: All right. Now she has some good news. Little Bo Peeps school has desperately needing new room. They need to expand, and an eccentric millionaire has offered them a magnificent old house free of charge. The only condition is someone from the school must spend one night there. The girls are so excited. [00:16:35] Speaker B: Oh yes. [00:16:35] Speaker A: They can't wait to go. But once they arrive, the girls pile out of the bus expecting the splendid new school facility, and instead discover what appears to be the sort of house that comes with its own weather system. That is haunted house. There's dust, there's dirt. Broken floors, cracked walls, broken clocks, A bathroom where According to one of the girls, the garden ought to be in short centuries of neglect. [00:17:07] Speaker B: Yeah, looks like an old scary haunted house now complete with overgrown lawn and dead tree. [00:17:14] Speaker A: The girls think they should just turn around and go home. Jerry, however, points out that their rival boys school, the Simon Legree School for Boys, must never discover that Little Bo Peep was too scared to stay the night in this old house. So the girls agree they'd rather die than let the boys think they're chicken. [00:17:33] Speaker B: Of course. Jerry goes up into the attic to check it out to see if there's anything up there. And then immediately comes screaming and falling down the ladder. Yeah, because he's seen a monster. [00:17:42] Speaker A: But he insists that there's nothing to fear. [00:17:45] Speaker B: Right. He says there's nothing to fear. She goes up and he's terrified. He runs out. Well, one of the girls drags him by the collar back up in the attic. And he finds out that what he saw was reflection of himself in the mirror. [00:17:53] Speaker A: Ha ha ha ha. Nice gag. [00:17:56] Speaker B: Yeah. So Ms. Bovine then decides she's good. They're all gonna split up and check out the house, right? [00:18:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:00] Speaker B: So Ms. Bovine grabs a candle and a couple of the girls and asks them to stay close behind her. But of course they're like, we're not gonna stay with her. And they take off. So Ms. Bovine's by herself holding the candle and she needs a free hand to pick the lock with her hairpin. And insists that one of the girls holds the hairpin. Excuse me, holds the candle. And someone takes the candle from her, but it turns out to be a monster. [00:18:22] Speaker A: G G. Ghosts. Well, in this case, monsters. [00:18:26] Speaker B: Monsters. [00:18:27] Speaker A: Then comes the revelation that complicates matters considerably. The girls are not the only inhabitants of the mansion. Mr. Howl and the boys from Simon Legree School have arrived also. [00:18:43] Speaker B: They received an offer to get the house, but on the same condition that they have to stay the night. [00:18:50] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:51] Speaker B: So they got there early and decided to pretend to be ghosts. [00:18:55] Speaker A: Right. So Mr. Howe is there. He was disguised as a monster. Renfrew, Jerry's nephew, is there. He was disguised as a skeleton. They had planned to scare the girls away and take the mansion for themselves. And if they can frighten the Little Bo Peep girls into leaving the house, then they get the house now. [00:19:19] Speaker B: So they decide the girls are gonna sleep upstairs with Mr. Lewis and Ms. Bovine. [00:19:23] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:24] Speaker B: And the boys have to be chained to the wall downstairs by Mr. Howe. Yeah. Very wrong about this headmaster. [00:19:30] Speaker A: Mr. Howe, well, he's not. Yeah, he often. I Mean at their own school they're chained to their beds at night. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Oh, are they? [00:19:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:39] Speaker B: Oh, I didn't remember that. But he's. He's dressed like a Nazi. [00:19:44] Speaker A: If Nazis wore 1970s gym coach shorts. Yes, all the time. And thigh high leather boots. [00:19:52] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:53] Speaker A: Which my coach did actually. [00:19:55] Speaker B: What? [00:19:56] Speaker A: My high school coach wore those little tight little gym shorts. Thigh high boots. He was not attractive. [00:20:04] Speaker B: No, mine was. Well, my, my junior high coach was. And he wore those tight sort of polyester gym shorts. You know like the kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:20:15] Speaker A: 1970s gym shorts. Well, we had. Mr. Heminger. He is not attractive. He had greasy hair. [00:20:23] Speaker B: My high school coaches were not attractive at all. Well, no. [00:20:28] Speaker A: Good thing you didn't play any sports. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't have to worry about that. [00:20:32] Speaker A: Now Hal, Mr. Hal to you. Decides that Jerry is too honest and too gullible to resist a little manipulation. So his plan is to turn all the clocks in the house one hour ahead so that the Little Bo Peep girls will leave before the night is over and nullify. [00:20:52] Speaker B: They're part of the contract. Well, Mr. Howell is not the only person that has that idea. So does Ms. Bovine. So do a couple of the boys. And so do a couple of girls. So what happens is everyone in turn sneaks around and turns the clocks ahead by an hour. So that when the alarm goes off and they all exit the house together, it's two o' clock in the morning. [00:21:14] Speaker A: Yeah. So they go outside, it's still pitch black. So Jerry checks the church steeple clock. That's how he finds out it's two o' clock in the morning. [00:21:24] Speaker B: Eventually everybody's pointing fingers at everybody else. [00:21:27] Speaker A: The deception is discovered. Boys and girls all realize that both sides have been playing tricks. And so rather than settling the dispute sensibly, everyone decides to search the entire haunted house for ghosts. [00:21:41] Speaker B: Well, what do you think they find? Is the first thing that's amiss. Mr. Howe finds a witch. Yeah, but who is it? [00:21:49] Speaker A: It's witchcraft. Jerry's live in maid. [00:21:53] Speaker B: Horrible Haggard. She's a mess. [00:21:57] Speaker A: She's the school's housekeeper and cooking instructor. [00:22:01] Speaker B: Her mouth reminds me of the movie that we watched this weekend. Murder by Death. [00:22:07] Speaker A: Oh yes, right. Whose mouth? [00:22:12] Speaker B: The author. [00:22:14] Speaker A: Oh, Truman Capote. [00:22:15] Speaker B: Truman Capote was in his one and only appearance in a movie as himself. He was so bad at acting. It was as if a bad actor was playing himself. Was playing Truman Capote. It was awful. But he had several front teeth missing in his bottom of his mouth. [00:22:31] Speaker A: Well, he probably did some Drugs too. [00:22:33] Speaker B: Oh, he did some terrible drugs. Sure. [00:22:36] Speaker A: Now, Witchcraft, conveniently, is also an actual witch. [00:22:41] Speaker B: Yes. [00:22:42] Speaker A: She was left behind in the kitchen. She's not happy about being neglected and she informs. Oh, we forgot to mention that the fridge is empty. [00:22:49] Speaker B: Yes. [00:22:50] Speaker A: So she's got food and pantry concoct [00:22:52] Speaker B: some sort of breakfast for everybody when they wake up. [00:22:54] Speaker A: So she produces a magic candle which has an extraordinary property. It can enlarge things. [00:23:00] Speaker B: Right. So she finds these small eggs. [00:23:02] Speaker A: Yeah. She produces some food from the paintings. [00:23:06] Speaker B: Yes. Oh. Turns the sink into milk. The water flowing from the sink into [00:23:11] Speaker A: cow's milk grows a coffee tree which [00:23:14] Speaker B: somehow sprouts a Colombian coffee grower too. [00:23:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, the candle gets out of hand and everything starts becoming giant. [00:23:26] Speaker B: Right. And those eggs aren't regular eggs. No, they're serpent eggs. [00:23:32] Speaker A: Serpent eggs. [00:23:33] Speaker B: And of course, they're hatched. And they are hatched. [00:23:36] Speaker A: Little lizards, creatures. Well, they. [00:23:38] Speaker B: They talk. [00:23:39] Speaker A: They talk. They kind of look like sea monkeys. They do sea monkey ads from the comics. [00:23:46] Speaker B: Notice that the female, the mother has lipstick and eyeshadow and eyelashes. [00:23:51] Speaker A: Duh. How would you know she's a female? [00:23:54] Speaker B: I don't know. By her nagging, of course. [00:24:01] Speaker A: All right. They're harmless at first, but then the magic candle gets involved. They start growing to giant size, very enormous. They talk in a bizarre garbled dialect akin to sugar and spike. But we are luckily provided with instant translations. [00:24:20] Speaker B: Yes. [00:24:23] Speaker A: The explanation for their vocabulary is that they have been exposed to too much television. By the way. Oh, where's that said, oh, in there somewhere? [00:24:32] Speaker B: Okay. All right. [00:24:35] Speaker A: The lady says it. [00:24:37] Speaker B: Okay. [00:24:39] Speaker A: Anyway, the lady lizard that is now Jerry, encounters one of the giant lizards and attempts to determine exactly what's going on. The lizard is not interested in conversation. He grabs Jerry, throws Jerry around, treats Jerry like a chew toy. I have no objection to any of that so far. [00:24:58] Speaker B: No. Especially if it had ended the series. That would have been great. [00:25:02] Speaker A: Yes. Now, Renfrew is delighted with all of this goings on, which Hazel wants to put. [00:25:08] Speaker B: Witchcraft wants to put an end to this. Right? [00:25:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:12] Speaker B: So she sends Renfrew to grab her magic cat, which was swept away in the milk flood. Kitchen accident. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:20] Speaker B: Well, she tells him, but she says, go get the special candle, which she can to hold upside down. It'll reverse the growing effects. Right, Right. But she forgets to tell him not to hold the candle too close. I don't know why, how or how he's going to hold the candle if he doesn't hold it too closely. [00:25:34] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:25:35] Speaker B: Right. But, hey, Obviously, we don't need to think about actual facts or logic in this. So Renfrew squeezes through the door because he is a humongous child now. [00:25:46] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:47] Speaker B: Because he's been holding the magic growth candle. [00:25:49] Speaker A: And to be clear, he was not a small boy. He's pretty rotund. [00:25:54] Speaker B: Yes. He never misses a meal. No. [00:25:56] Speaker A: Except tonight, because there's no food in the kitchen. [00:25:59] Speaker B: Well, he could eat lizards. All right. [00:26:03] Speaker A: Renfrew grabs the magic handle, goes for the monsters, grows giant size. He decides the best course of action is to just hit one of these lizards with the magic handle. Which works. [00:26:19] Speaker B: That's after he threatens to turn one of the lizards into six handbags and an overnight valise. Oh. And then he does something horrible. He takes the baby lizard. [00:26:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:32] Speaker B: And shoves it inside the mother's mouth to make her eat it. I was really shocked by that. The baby lizard says, goodbye, Mother. [00:26:40] Speaker A: Don't panic, because everybody's fine. Once they shrink back to normal size, they're all fine. Renfrew also tries to take some revenge on Mr. Howl. [00:26:50] Speaker B: Yes. Because he's a giant child. [00:26:51] Speaker A: Makes him promise to never hurt Renfrew again. I bet he won't keep that promise. [00:26:56] Speaker B: No. No. [00:26:58] Speaker A: All right. Eventually, Witchcraft and Renfrew manage to get the magic under control. The lizards are shrunken. The mansion survives. Jerry survives. The school survives. What is unresolved, however, is the question of whom will get to the house. [00:27:14] Speaker B: And they decide that the attorney's gonna judge. [00:27:18] Speaker A: They're gonna let a judge decide about the house. [00:27:20] Speaker B: And the last panel is. [00:27:22] Speaker A: But remember, Mr. Howe, you promise not to hurt Renfre. Mm. Mr. Howe says he's as good as his word. But that night at the Simon Legree School for Boys. Now, this last panel looks like Renfrew is still giant. I guess it's just the perspective. [00:27:41] Speaker B: It's the perspective. Yeah. [00:27:45] Speaker A: Mr. Howl has found a loophole. He has indeed chained Renfrew to the wall, but is not for purposes of beating him. [00:27:54] Speaker B: No. [00:27:54] Speaker A: He's tickling him. [00:27:56] Speaker B: Yes. [00:27:56] Speaker A: With a feather on a extender. Extender thing. [00:28:00] Speaker B: Yeah. So he's not physically hurting him. [00:28:04] Speaker A: I would argue that being chained and tickled is abuse. Abuse. [00:28:08] Speaker B: I agree. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Which counts as being hurt. [00:28:11] Speaker B: Renfry's gonna have some serious stuff to work through. Renfrew is. [00:28:14] Speaker A: He's already got a lot that he's dealing with. [00:28:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:17] Speaker A: Number one being that he lives with Jerry Lewis. [00:28:20] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:21] Speaker A: Who apparently in this reality is not a celebrity. He has to exist on a school teacher salary. [00:28:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:28:29] Speaker A: Well, that's it everyone? Jerry Lewis, number 100. Big celebratory issue. [00:28:36] Speaker B: Yay. [00:28:39] Speaker A: I have some bad news for you. [00:28:42] Speaker B: What? [00:28:42] Speaker A: And good news. [00:28:43] Speaker B: What is that? [00:28:44] Speaker A: I guess it's mostly good news. [00:28:45] Speaker B: It's good news. Tell me that's the last time we're going to see Jerry Lewis. [00:28:47] Speaker A: No, only one more, though. [00:28:49] Speaker B: Okay. So what's the bad news? [00:28:54] Speaker A: I was trying to say that that was bad news, and then in the middle of speaking, I realized it was actually good news. [00:28:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Only one more. Great. [00:29:02] Speaker A: But in publication history. 20 more issues to come. Just one more checkerboard one. [00:29:09] Speaker B: Oh, my. [00:29:10] Speaker A: Right. [00:29:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:11] Speaker A: I'm going to skip ahead to the last issue someday and see just how it ends. In what year was that published? Oh, my gosh. No. 124. 124 issues. [00:29:22] Speaker B: Wow. [00:29:24] Speaker A: 1971. [00:29:25] Speaker B: Yeah. That was the year I was born. [00:29:29] Speaker A: Your birth killed the Adventures of Jerry Lewis. [00:29:32] Speaker B: Well, something good came out of it. [00:29:36] Speaker A: He did all right. He had. You know, till cable came along. He had those marathons. [00:29:41] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:29:43] Speaker A: Not marathons. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Telethons. Yeah. [00:29:46] Speaker A: Did you watch those? We always watch those. Yes. Yes. [00:29:50] Speaker B: It was a big deal in our house. [00:29:53] Speaker A: Well, because you. We only had three channels. There was nothing else to watch. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Was it on Labor Day or Memorial Day? [00:29:57] Speaker A: Labor Day. [00:29:58] Speaker B: Labor Day. Yeah. Yeah. We would stay up as late as possible and watch a telethon. [00:30:03] Speaker A: Really? [00:30:04] Speaker B: Yeah. I swear to God. We would make. We would have our lemonade and our. And our. Or fruit punch, and we would have our desserts and we'd bake. We'd do popcorn and we would, like. It was a big deal in our house. [00:30:18] Speaker A: That's so funny. To me, it wouldn't seem like your mother was the type to be interested in that kind of stuff. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Yes. [00:30:25] Speaker A: Okay. I can't explain why. [00:30:28] Speaker B: I can't. I don't know why I never. I've never talked to you about this, but it was a big deal. Like, it was a. Like, my mom loved it and we would watch it. Yeah. [00:30:38] Speaker A: Okay. [00:30:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:41] Speaker A: Remember when Frank Sinatra came on and surprised Jerry Lewis and had Dean Martin backstage and it was the first time they'd seen each other in 20 years after their split up? [00:30:50] Speaker B: I do remember that. Yeah. Well, I just remember that we used to bring in our sleeping bags and our pillows and blankets. Good grief. Get in pajamas. And we'd all lay in front of the TV and stay up as late as we possibly could to watch the telethon. [00:31:01] Speaker A: I don't think I'd have been allowed to stay up late. Because I don't think my parents would have satin. I mean, they probably did sit and watch it, but not if, like, Columbo or golf was on. [00:31:12] Speaker B: Didn't it last? It wasn't 24 hours. [00:31:15] Speaker A: Yes, 24 hours. [00:31:16] Speaker B: Wow. [00:31:16] Speaker A: Maybe even 48. [00:31:18] Speaker B: No, no, he didn't last that long. [00:31:21] Speaker A: It could have been. [00:31:22] Speaker B: Wow. [00:31:24] Speaker A: I know. It was a long time. [00:31:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:26] Speaker A: And there's, you know, if you had to watch Saturday morning cartoons or something, you were out of luck. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if any of our other listeners ever watched that. [00:31:36] Speaker A: I guess we'll find out. You can reach us at GoGoCheckPod on all the social media. [00:31:40] Speaker B: We haven't finished yet. [00:31:41] Speaker A: I know. [00:31:42] Speaker B: Okay. [00:31:42] Speaker A: All right. I'm just telling them where to write because last time I asked for listener input, I got one response. Well, one. 02. That's not fair. [00:31:51] Speaker B: Yes. And as we've heard from some of our listeners, they are so far behind. [00:31:57] Speaker A: Yes. Well, that's not my problem. I'm just gonna keep on keeping on. [00:32:01] Speaker B: There's so many podcasts to listen to now. [00:32:03] Speaker A: We, as Dr. Husband said, we're not done because we have another exciting story starring everyone's favorite heroes, Superman and Batman. Right in the world's finest. But not the Superman and Batman that we're aware of. These are the Superman and Batman of the future. [00:32:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:25] Speaker A: Fighting against the future Muto. Joker team. Are you confused? [00:32:31] Speaker B: No, I was just running through the catalog of complaints I have in my head about this issue, but. [00:32:35] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Now, we have seen the future Superman before and Muto. I can't tell you the episode number off the top of my head, but we have covered. It was a two part story with future Superman fighting muto. [00:32:53] Speaker B: Okay. [00:32:55] Speaker A: In I believe in action comics. [00:32:57] Speaker B: I don't remember that. [00:33:00] Speaker A: Okay, that's fine. [00:33:01] Speaker B: I'm not saying it didn't happen. I'm just saying I don't remember it. [00:33:04] Speaker A: You don't need to. [00:33:05] Speaker B: That's. You know, I kind of dump my brain after I would do these. [00:33:08] Speaker A: Oh, I mean, same girl. [00:33:10] Speaker B: My brain. That's not what I meant to say. I don't, you know, commit these. [00:33:13] Speaker A: Memory. [00:33:14] Speaker B: Some of these things I do remember, but. Yeah, not these. So I was reading this and. And of course, you know, I've been just loving reading All Star Superman. [00:33:26] Speaker A: Yes. Tell me how that's going. [00:33:27] Speaker B: Oh, well, I'm on the second book and about. About a third of the way through the book. [00:33:33] Speaker A: The trade. He's talking about the trade listener. The trade trade paperback. [00:33:38] Speaker B: Okay. [00:33:38] Speaker A: That's the format you were reading. [00:33:40] Speaker B: Yes. Just loving it. I mean, and I'm. Yes. I'm reading it slowly and I don't care who knows it, because I'm thinking, I. I don't, I don't have to explain myself. I am. I am literally zooming in. We just looking and. And I turn back a couple pages to see what happened and I'm looking at the art. [00:33:57] Speaker A: I'm just. [00:33:57] Speaker B: I'm really enjoying it. Anyway, there's a lot. There's at one point where he is ganging up with a bunch of future Superman. [00:34:08] Speaker A: Right. [00:34:09] Speaker B: And this Superman was not one of them. [00:34:15] Speaker A: Oh, from this one. Okay. [00:34:18] Speaker B: Yeah. I was just sort of thinking about like canon and we're gonna find some things in here that are. That are laid and laid out in this world. Finest. That I was like, did that hold up over time, you know? [00:34:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You get that when you're writing about the future from the past. [00:34:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:36] Speaker A: Oh, sorry. I almost had it. [00:34:39] Speaker B: Okay. What are you doing over there? [00:34:42] Speaker A: I was trying to find when we had the last appearance of muto. [00:34:49] Speaker B: Oh, are you on pausing or are we just still rolling? [00:34:52] Speaker A: So we covered. It was a two part story which we covered on November 16, 2020. It was the last time that MUTO appeared. [00:35:02] Speaker B: Okay. [00:35:03] Speaker A: In action comics numbers 338 and 339. [00:35:07] Speaker B: Okay. [00:35:08] Speaker A: That was episode 109. [00:35:11] Speaker B: Okay. [00:35:12] Speaker A: This is currently episode 343. So that tells you how it's a long time, how far along we've got. [00:35:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:20] Speaker A: All right, wait a second. [00:35:24] Speaker B: What episode was it? 109. [00:35:26] Speaker A: 109. [00:35:27] Speaker B: Good Lord. No wonder I can't remember it. [00:35:29] Speaker A: I know it was six years ago. [00:35:31] Speaker B: Lord. [00:35:32] Speaker A: Luckily, our entire catalog is available for free wherever you get your podcast from, so you can just search up if you're new here, just go Back to episode 109 from six years. November 2020. November 2020. [00:35:49] Speaker B: When did co start? March 2020 or March 2021. [00:35:53] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. We would have been in Covid times. [00:35:57] Speaker B: Wow. [00:35:59] Speaker A: Remember that? I do. [00:36:01] Speaker B: Those are the days I was terrified all the time. [00:36:05] Speaker A: Terrified of what? [00:36:06] Speaker B: Dying? [00:36:07] Speaker A: Staying home with me. [00:36:08] Speaker B: No, no, no. That was wonderful. Just, you know, I didn't get to stay home very long. [00:36:12] Speaker A: I know. I did the rest of my career, hopefully. All right, all right, here we are. World's finest, number 166. Featuring for the first time the Batman and Superman, team of the future against the future muto. Joker Team Mutho, the villain with the superbrain is back to menace mankind. Especially the Superman of 2967. What's more, the Master of Mind has teamed up with the 30th century edition of that giggling gargoyle of gangdom, the Joker. So the man of Tomorrow joins forces with the future Batman. But can even this titanic team defeat the danger of the deadly duo? Now the time. 2967. A spaceship streaks toward a mining planet. Caltaris. Its cargo a hundred robot heads. They are mechanically perfect components. And soon they'll be attached to the bodies of robot miners. [00:37:20] Speaker B: So it's just the heads? [00:37:21] Speaker A: Just the heads, right. The bodies restored separately, they're worth millions. [00:37:25] Speaker B: But there's a little man floating outside. [00:37:28] Speaker A: A little yellow man without a spacesuit. Yeah. The captain of the ship is ordered to cut engines, fire retro rockets for a full stop. Too late, they realize that's no ordinary man. It's Muto, the Super Brain mutant, who was born on a spaceship that was temporarily transported into another dimension. Now, I guess since he's a mutant, maybe we should say Muto. [00:37:55] Speaker B: Oh, I guess we should say Muto. Muto the mutant sense. Yes. [00:37:59] Speaker A: Now, here's an interesting tidbit, and I've got a whole bunch of theories about this. The captain says that Superboy recently trapped him in that dimension, but he escaped. [00:38:12] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:14] Speaker A: Now, the 30th century, as we know, is home to the Legion of Superheroes. [00:38:20] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:21] Speaker A: Who have had no other mention in any of these future Superman stories. [00:38:27] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:29] Speaker A: This issue is written by Jim Shooter, who of late has been writing lots of Legion of Superhero stories. [00:38:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:38:37] Speaker A: So I'm wondering if he. If this is intentional that he slipped in the name of Superboy to establish that this is indeed the same universe with the Legion of Superheroes. They just have, for some reason, never mentioned that there's a Superman in this dimension or in this time along with them. However, there's another interesting tidbit of information. When these stories have been reprinted in future trade paperbacks, they have said instead of the year 2966, it's the year 2496, 500 years earlier. [00:39:18] Speaker B: Okay. [00:39:19] Speaker A: Which actually tracks. [00:39:21] Speaker B: They change the year. [00:39:23] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. In reprints. Which actually tracks with the number of generations that have been established here between the supermen of our day and the supermen of the future. [00:39:35] Speaker B: Okay. [00:39:37] Speaker A: Which leads me to my whole grand theory. As you know, I have a whole grand theory of the robot apocalypse and Earth rebuilding itself. [00:39:44] Speaker B: Yes. [00:39:45] Speaker A: And so if we're 500 years past the robot apocalypse. [00:39:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:39:51] Speaker A: That would make sense of why humanity is using robots as labor. Free labor. [00:40:00] Speaker B: Okay. [00:40:02] Speaker A: That would also track with when we get to the Superman's alter ego and the new Batman's alter ego. They have somewhat robotic sounding names. Maybe they're just fresh out of rebuilding humanity after the robot apocalypse. And they haven't changed social norms yet to have normal human names. [00:40:21] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:40:22] Speaker A: Right? [00:40:23] Speaker B: Wow. [00:40:23] Speaker A: This makes so much sense inside of my head. [00:40:26] Speaker B: Wow. Anyway, muto, I wonder if listener will be able to hear kitten purring in my lap. [00:40:33] Speaker A: I hope not. [00:40:34] Speaker B: He's a very quiet purr. [00:40:35] Speaker A: We'll have to stop and re record everything. MUTO steals all these robot heads, which are priceless, apparently. But then another spaceship appears and steals them back. Steals them back. What a joke. Ha, ha, ha. Now, this spaceship has a giant J on it. Who could it be? [00:40:56] Speaker B: I don't know either. [00:40:59] Speaker A: All right. Myto's surprised that his loot is gone. But he finds a playing card in his spaceship. A joker. That's the Joker's trademark. But he won't get far. My hyper radar will track him. What's this? The editor asks us, breaking the fourth wall. Batman's greatest adversary in the 30th century. Where's that? Where's that? Page three. [00:41:26] Speaker B: Which panel? [00:41:27] Speaker A: The middle tier, first panel. [00:41:31] Speaker B: Okay, you're right at the bottom right hand corner of the panel. Okay, I see it. [00:41:39] Speaker A: What's this? [00:41:40] Speaker B: Batman's greatest adversary in the 13th century. No, not the Joker. We know this is his descendant. [00:41:47] Speaker A: Which means that the Joker got married and had children and all, and grandchildren, et cetera, et cetera. [00:41:55] Speaker B: And they all just look like him. [00:41:56] Speaker A: They all just happen to have pasty white skin and green hair and big red lips. Now, they could have. Now, there was a character in the 70s, the Joker's daughter, who was not actually the Joker's daughter. She was actually the Riddler's daughter. But she dressed as the Joker with white clown makeup and a green wig. She was briefly a member of the Teen Titans and tried to get with Robin. Oh, yeah, it didn't work out. Now Joker realizes that MUTO is following him through space. So he decides to land on a small planet up ahead and battle old Big Dome on my terms. [00:42:39] Speaker B: Yeah, that's interesting. He says, you're the muto. The weapons on your ship make you invincible in space. But on the ground, you're nothing, really. So it's the weapons on the ship that make him invincible? [00:42:50] Speaker A: Well, he's also got mutant brain powers. [00:42:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I was gonna say, because he employs them right away and throws the Joker across the way. [00:42:59] Speaker A: So they have a big fight with Muto's Brain powers. Joker has some kind of little machine that makes people laugh uncontrollably and dance and dance. [00:43:09] Speaker B: I want one of those. [00:43:11] Speaker A: Okay. Remember the little cow Da Dum? Yes. Little robot cow that would dance. That's it. Except it didn't do the B section. [00:43:27] Speaker B: No, That's all it did. [00:43:35] Speaker A: That's all it did. [00:43:35] Speaker B: That was actually the B section of the thing because it goes. [00:43:46] Speaker A: Serrate poru de choco latte. [00:43:51] Speaker B: I think it's called the Mexican hat dance. [00:43:53] Speaker A: Anyway, I still have Da dum. It's just. It doesn't work anymore. If I could find a working one on ebay, I'd have it in a trice. Anyway, they have a big battle, and then they agree to work together to defeat Superman. Because apparently there's no Batman in this time. So Joker's forced to battle Superman. [00:44:09] Speaker B: Right. [00:44:11] Speaker A: Now muto's got some scores to settle with Superman himself. So they agree to team up and beat Superman. So the next day at the nuclear fusion plant which supplies electric power to all Metropolis, they come in with the Laughing Machine and they're installing a new nuclear fusion. Yeah, Joker's got some special expanding cards that shoot out of his fist and grow giant. [00:44:38] Speaker B: The purpose of this attacking is to steal the nuclear fusion nuclear fusion generator to power Muto's weapons or ship or something like that. Right? [00:44:48] Speaker A: Right. [00:44:48] Speaker B: Superman sees with his telescopic vision. [00:44:51] Speaker A: Well, he happens to be there in his secret identity of Klar. Ken T5477. [00:44:56] Speaker B: Right. [00:44:58] Speaker A: We didn't cover this issue, but when this future Superman first appeared, the COVID said, meet the Superman of the future. He's so different from the supermen of today. Well, he's not. His name is Clark Hen T5477 and he's a reporter for the Interplayed story. Daily News. [00:45:17] Speaker B: Right. He's still a reporter. Really held onto that. That was the first thing when I was looking at this. Like, really? He's like multi generations away from the original Superman. And he's still a reporter. [00:45:26] Speaker A: You know, it's a family business. Keep it up. [00:45:29] Speaker B: Well, the Joker's the same thing. Joker's still, you know, Joker's great, great, great grandson. Whatever, is still a criminal. [00:45:35] Speaker A: Well, Superman flies in, grabs Muto. Who says girk? Superman. Also, this is what I have a problem with. [00:45:44] Speaker B: You got to do the saltwater thing. [00:45:46] Speaker A: Superman is immune to kryptonite. But a chemical fallout from an intergalactic atomic war settled in all seas, making seawater deadly. [00:45:59] Speaker B: Too bad. Superman calls the Earth planet his home. Which is 70% seawater. [00:46:08] Speaker A: That's what I thought. Why doesn't he just move to another planet? But as we see, all seawater in the entire galaxy. Yes. Is poisonous. [00:46:18] Speaker B: It's poisonous to him. Like kryptonite. [00:46:20] Speaker A: Like, just retire. Right. Go live in the Gobi Desert and. How could you do anything? [00:46:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Like you. That. I mean, literally, at least, if we're going back in time. Kryptonite was not easy to come by. Green Kryptonite. [00:46:41] Speaker A: Right. Right. [00:46:42] Speaker B: This is just water. I mean, you just carry around a little vial of water and throw it on him and he's out. [00:46:47] Speaker A: He's done. [00:46:48] Speaker B: He's on the ground. [00:46:49] Speaker A: Right? Yeah. He's literally. They just. [00:46:52] Speaker B: The Joker squirted him out of a flower. [00:46:55] Speaker A: Seawater out of the flower. [00:46:56] Speaker B: Then they drunk Drum. Excuse me, Drummed. Dropped some brine water on him from [00:47:03] Speaker A: the nuclear cooling plant. [00:47:05] Speaker B: And then there was a firecracker with some water exploding. Water. Seawater in it. And now he's laying on the ground, dying, powerless. He's dying. [00:47:16] Speaker A: That's crazy. Yeah. Who thought that up? Well, I could look it up, but I'm not going to. But if somebody drunk on a Friday afternoon, I bet. [00:47:26] Speaker B: Made me very angry when I read it. [00:47:29] Speaker A: Same. [00:47:30] Speaker B: Yes. [00:47:30] Speaker A: I'm sure it must have been mentioned in the previous stories, but I don't recall. All right. There's only one place he can find an equalizer to use against the Joker and Muto. His Fortress of Solitude, which he's moved [00:47:42] Speaker B: to the middle of the sun. Which, of course, me reading All Star Superman right now made me angry. Of course. [00:47:50] Speaker A: Why? I'm sorry. [00:47:50] Speaker B: I got very angry reading this. Because Superman, his lethal illness comes from going so far into the sun that it irradiates his cells and makes them die. [00:48:06] Speaker A: Well, that's a different universe. That's not the 30th century Earth one. All Star Superman doesn't take place in our universe. [00:48:19] Speaker B: I hate everything. [00:48:20] Speaker A: What's wrong now? Did you think Superman was really gonna die in a published com. Well, in fairness, he did die once, yes. [00:48:32] Speaker B: I don't. I don't know what. I'm stunned. I'm flummoxed. [00:48:35] Speaker A: Oh, no. The All Star line was an offshoot. [00:48:38] Speaker B: I haven't gone to the end yet. [00:48:39] Speaker A: Okay, I'm not telling you anything. Just that it was an offshoot. It was not meant to be the main continuity. It was an offshoot. There was also an All Star Batman. [00:48:48] Speaker B: Okay. [00:48:49] Speaker A: And I think maybe an All Star of Wonder Woman or something. [00:48:53] Speaker B: All drawn by the same no, no, no. [00:48:57] Speaker A: You don't want to read All Star Batman. I guarantee you would not like that artwork. [00:49:01] Speaker B: All right, all right. [00:49:03] Speaker A: I don't know. Maybe you would. I'll let you see it. [00:49:05] Speaker B: So, okay, so. So his moved his Fortress of Solitude from the North Pole on Earth to the middle of the sun. [00:49:12] Speaker A: Yeah, because you know what's at the North Pole? [00:49:14] Speaker B: Salt water. [00:49:17] Speaker A: Frozen, but still. What? [00:49:21] Speaker B: What when water freezes? When salt water freezes, the salt is heavy and it gets pushed down. [00:49:29] Speaker A: The ice is fresh, but it's floating in salt water. [00:49:35] Speaker B: Yes. [00:49:37] Speaker A: All right. Now, he was able to get indestructible Kryptonian materials from Candor, which we learn now is it's full size. Full size. And has been enlarged on another world. Oh, God. He what? [00:49:53] Speaker B: Nothing. I'm sorry. Just. Just. Just ignore me. All I could think about is, like, how much I'm loving All Star Superman and that they take the bottle to Candor and they put it on Mars, which is a great solution, but obviously it's in another dimension, and it's an offshoot story, and it's not canon, and nothing matters. [00:50:11] Speaker A: Well, on Earth one, before the Crisis on Infinite Earths, Kandor was enlarged on another planet. [00:50:17] Speaker B: So, okay. [00:50:18] Speaker A: Unfortunately, something went wrong, and all the buildings disintegrated the minute they were enlarged. But the Kandorians had to just build a new civilization. [00:50:28] Speaker B: Well, the Kryptonians, they're very smart, aren't they? [00:50:30] Speaker A: Well, it was in a yellow sun or a red sun universe, so they didn't have powers. [00:50:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:50:36] Speaker A: And it was a planet that shifted to another dimension periodically, so it was like Brigadoon. [00:50:44] Speaker B: Who selected this planet for them? [00:50:46] Speaker A: Superman. [00:50:47] Speaker B: I'm sure that if anyone who doesn't know anything about comics is listening to this podcast and is with me just sitting there just like, what the hell? [00:50:54] Speaker A: I hope so. Oh, no. I think they had a council or something and decided they didn't want to have beyond a world where they'd all have superpowers, because that would be too dangerous. So they went back to a red sun, which is the environment that they came from on Krypton, right? [00:51:08] Speaker B: Oh, that's true. Yes. Yes. While kittens being so affectionate. [00:51:11] Speaker A: All right. Of course he's got a hall of villains and heroes. There's Muto. [00:51:19] Speaker B: He's gonna have pictures on a wall like a normal person. [00:51:21] Speaker A: He's got a statue of Batman because he remembers Timetape stories of how the first Batman, in my own ancestor, the original Superman, fought together against such villains as Brainiac, Luthor, and the four first Joker. The team continued from generation to generation. However, we learn that the last Batman was killed by the father of this current Joker. [00:51:49] Speaker B: Yes, [00:51:52] Speaker A: but suddenly a slight noise strikes the super sensitive fear of Superman. Gasp. [00:51:59] Speaker B: Gasp in Spanish. [00:52:00] Speaker A: Batman, it can't be you. You were killed. [00:52:02] Speaker B: No, no, not this Batman. I'm Braun Wayne E7 Braun Wayne E. Wayne. It's Brain. I'm Bron Wayne E7705, a direct descendant of Bruce Wayne, the first Batman. As for how I became Batman. And then he goes into this long story. Basically, his father was. Was at a public event held by the father of the current Joker in this time period. [00:52:29] Speaker A: Yes. And he was killed the blast by an explosion. The blast also killed several spectators, including Braun Wein's mother and the rest of his family. He was only a baby. [00:52:41] Speaker B: That's why he wasn't present. [00:52:42] Speaker A: He wasn't at the ceremony. And thus when he grew up, there was no one to tell him of his heritage. And the Batman line seemed ended until he returned to Wayne Manor on the asteroid Baltor, the property of the Waynes for two centuries, and stumbled on the secret entrance to the small world's hollow core, which was the latest bat cave. He investigated, learned of his parents murder and vowed revenge. This is like. Did you ever read the original Tarzan novel? No, because Tarzan's a baby and his parents die and he's adopted by the apes. Well, he's a super smart baby. He learns to read in French just from an encyclopedia that's laying around. [00:53:26] Speaker B: You're kidding. [00:53:26] Speaker A: No, because he's super smart. He learns French and then learns all about his past as Lord Greystoke. [00:53:34] Speaker B: Wow. [00:53:34] Speaker A: He's not an idiot like in the movies. He's super well spoken and intelligent and super strong. Unfortunately, it's a little racist because he just, like a white savior, comes in, kills all the natives. [00:53:47] Speaker B: Oh, God. [00:53:48] Speaker A: I know. But maybe that's why they turned him into an idiot in the movies. He began training strenuously for his war against crime and the Joker. He mastered all the gadgets in the utility belt, which in the 30th century has powerful flying jets, an invisibility beam, all sorts of scientific. He can walk through walls. He can walk through walls, which is a really great power to have Kitty pride. That'd be the power I'd choose. [00:54:13] Speaker B: I know. You said that. Your art, entire life through together. You said that if you had one superpower, it'd be that one. [00:54:18] Speaker A: Yep. [00:54:19] Speaker B: Intangibility, right? [00:54:21] Speaker A: I mean, invisibility would be A nice extra to have also, but it's not necessary. He can trail anywhere, anyone, anywhere with a brainwave tracer. And he's got a feature adjuster which replaces the original Batman's disguise kit. With his brainwave tracer, he followed Superman to his hidden layer. Wait a minute. [00:54:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:46] Speaker A: How did Batman get into the heart of the sun? [00:54:50] Speaker B: Right. [00:54:51] Speaker A: Oh, wait. His molecular diffuser built into the Bat ship enabled him to enter the sun unarmed. I see. Right there. [00:54:57] Speaker B: In time. Powerful thing. [00:54:59] Speaker A: That's a sweet ass Batplane. I could tell you that. It looks like a blackbird jet. Speaking of Kitty Pryde in the X Men. [00:55:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:09] Speaker A: Now, Superman, will you allow me to help you against the Joker? [00:55:14] Speaker B: And how. [00:55:16] Speaker A: All right. The next day, a sinister looking vessel slowly descends from space to rest on the soil of Ondo, the Carnival World. Carnival World, which is having a charity day, which means the box office receipts should be sky high. Muto's going to keep the police busy while Joker grabs the till. Because in the. Well, retroactively, we know that's the 25th century. So they're still using clocks, offices and coins. Yes, because they're just coming rebuilding humanity from the robot apocalypse. All right. Joker stops the police with his Joker box, robs the box office. We learn that adults can gain entry to the carnival world for 75 space tokens. Children, a low 25. Unfortunately, the ticket taker is Batman in disguise. [00:56:09] Speaker B: Yes, he's used his face, his feature adjuster, elsewhere. [00:56:14] Speaker A: Muto is trying to draw out Zarionite out of the planetoid, which is apparently a rare mineral. Unfortunately. [00:56:24] Speaker B: Oh, yes, he's one. I just went back because I couldn't remember what Zarionite is, and he's. I'll steal this planet's Zarionite core to power my crime machine. [00:56:34] Speaker A: Okay. [00:56:35] Speaker B: Steal from the core. Okay. [00:56:38] Speaker A: Unfortunately, he digs up Superman, who is. Muto's no match for Superman because he doesn't have any sea water on him. Until he gets to a ship and shoots out a giant plume of it into Superman's face, which then puts Superman [00:56:55] Speaker B: right down on the ground. [00:56:56] Speaker A: Right down on the ground, unconscious. [00:56:57] Speaker B: Oh, I'm wet. [00:57:02] Speaker A: With Superman helpless, Muto can easily hold Batman at bay with his mental powers. He orders Joker back into the ship. They fly off. But remember now, this future Batman has jet packs and can walk through walls. So he just flies up, phases right through the hull of the ship. [00:57:18] Speaker B: That's amazing. [00:57:21] Speaker A: Muto uses his brain power to levitate Batman. [00:57:24] Speaker B: Batman throws his Batarang at Muto, which [00:57:26] Speaker A: is in the future Rocket powered and radar. [00:57:31] Speaker B: Nice. [00:57:32] Speaker A: So he wraps up MUTO in no time. Unfortunately, he's standing right over a trapdoor, [00:57:38] Speaker B: which Joker triggers and gets ejected into the stratosphere. Suffocating and freezing in space. [00:57:45] Speaker A: My jets can't save me now. Luckily, Superman's recovered from being wet and flies up to space to rescue Batman and gives him. It looks like he's given him some hot soup or something. [00:58:01] Speaker B: Where? [00:58:02] Speaker A: In that panel where Batman's shivering on the bench. Thank you for the hot soup, Superman. You could have wrapped me in your cape, but I guess it was still wet. [00:58:11] Speaker B: Or you could have used your heat vision to warm me up. But thanks for the soup. [00:58:16] Speaker A: All right. Luckily, Batman has taken a mentograph of their brain waves and he can track them anywhere in the universe now. Which they do in the Batplane. If he can get close enough, he can bring them down with the bat beam. But Superman says, no need. I'm gonna fly out into space right now and get them. Great jewels of jamoth, Batman. Future Batman says, when I picked Superman for a partner, I sure picked a good one. He disabled their ship with a single blow. [00:58:49] Speaker B: So the Joker and Muto find a planet to crash on. What is this planet called? Thorum. [00:58:54] Speaker A: Thorum Thor. It's a planet of constant lightning and thunder. [00:58:58] Speaker B: Nice. Thor like that. [00:59:00] Speaker A: They think the. Oh, I get it. They think that the electric storms will shield their escape. [00:59:07] Speaker B: But Superman and Batman join them shortly [00:59:09] Speaker A: because Batman can track their brainwaves anywhere. [00:59:11] Speaker B: Very, very clever. In this century, 25th century, Muto is [00:59:16] Speaker A: trying to hold Superman at bay until he can find some water. Salt water somewhere, of course. He finds a cave dripping with salt water. Superman follows him in. And now Superman would have seen the water dripping at the cave entrance. [00:59:37] Speaker B: Well, it's not water that gets him, it's sea water. [00:59:41] Speaker A: Right, but in the vast universe, when you live on a planet that is 70% salt water, you could assume that 70% of the other water in the universe is salt water. [00:59:57] Speaker B: Look, I was just as angry about this as you were. I just didn't have anyone to yell at. [01:00:01] Speaker A: Or you know what? If you are standing at a cave entrance and you see that there's water pouring down from the sun ceiling. Stick your finger in. [01:00:10] Speaker B: What would happen if he stuck his finger in? [01:00:12] Speaker A: Well, his finger would be weakened, but maybe the rest of it would be fine. Oh, my finger. I can't point, But no, Superman just walks full body. [01:00:27] Speaker B: If he stuck his finger in and it had a drop of seawater, and he'd be like, oh, then what would he just, like, shake it, flick it [01:00:33] Speaker A: off, wipe it on his cape? [01:00:36] Speaker B: He'll be fine again? [01:00:40] Speaker A: No. Superman just walks bodily into the mouth of the cave and. Oh, seawater. I have to get out before I'm paralyzed. Well, it's too late. We've seen you just get splashed with water and you're paralyzed to the ground. [01:00:52] Speaker B: Well, this is the exception. Maybe this is less weak sea water. I don't know, less polluted seawater. [01:01:00] Speaker A: All right, after Superman retreats, he starts jumping up and down on the ground, which causes a planet wide earthquake. [01:01:08] Speaker B: Just like Dunham. [01:01:10] Speaker A: The cave is collapsing, Muto escapes, and luckily, Superman has a special helmet prepared to slip onto Muto to cut off his super brain emanations and leave him helpless. [01:01:20] Speaker B: It's like one of those old time hairdresser dryers. [01:01:23] Speaker A: Meanwhile, Batman's chasing the joker, who's climbing a hill headed for an abandoned weather tower. [01:01:30] Speaker B: Lots of panels in this. Yeah, in this story. [01:01:33] Speaker A: I also don't know why they need weather towers on a planet where the only weather is thunder and lightning. Yep, checks out, Jim. Another day of thunder Lightning. I guess I'll sign off now. [01:01:47] Speaker B: What's the forecast for today? [01:01:50] Speaker A: Thunder and lightning. [01:01:51] Speaker B: 100% of thunder. Lightning. 100 chance of thunder and lightning. [01:01:55] Speaker A: All right, the Joker is. Batman's gaining ground. Yeah, Joker has to use his dancing machine on Batman. But Batman says. Sorry, Joker, no toys. I'm gonna use my batarang. Knock that out of your hand. And we're gonna use good old fashioned 20th century fisticuffs. [01:02:14] Speaker B: You know, screw with Batman this century. He's pretty good, all right. [01:02:19] Speaker A: Well, now there's a. Well, maybe this is why the weather tower is there. Because it's got a lightning force attractor. [01:02:27] Speaker B: It's probably used to power things, I guess. [01:02:31] Speaker A: Now, Joker, only you could tell me where your father. Joker 19 is. Hold up. My quarrel's with him. I'll take all your playthings. No, no. My jokes, my tricks. No talk, Joker. [01:02:45] Speaker B: Where is the man who killed Batman? The man who killed my father? Who murdered my father. [01:02:49] Speaker A: I'll never talk. I still had one of these giant expanded cards up my sleeve. [01:02:55] Speaker B: Bitch slaps him with a playing card. It's an expanding playing card, apparently. It must be electrical or something. Yes. [01:03:01] Speaker A: Ha ha ha. I'll kill you just as my father killed your father. Ha ha ha. Long live the Joker. Long live Batman. Slayer. I'll finish you off with his instrument. Goodbye, Batman. [01:03:11] Speaker B: He's holding over his head the lightning force attractor. Idiot. That is hubris yes. [01:03:20] Speaker A: Lightning strikes the device and kills the Joker. [01:03:25] Speaker B: Kills him. [01:03:26] Speaker A: Kills him. [01:03:27] Speaker B: He's dead. [01:03:29] Speaker A: My one hope of finding my father's killer, gone. It's as though fate didn't want me to have my revenge. [01:03:35] Speaker B: And as the blue white boats play around the lifeless heap, what was the Joker? Batman bitterly turns homeward and the thunder seems to laugh. That's the end of the story. [01:03:51] Speaker A: That's the end of the story. And I've got some bad news. [01:03:53] Speaker B: What? [01:03:53] Speaker A: This is the one and only appearance of future Batman. The last appearance of future Superman. [01:03:59] Speaker B: Wow. [01:03:59] Speaker A: And the last appearance of Muto. [01:04:02] Speaker B: Wow. [01:04:02] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm going to need to introduce you to the. Oh, maybe we did read a Super Sons with Billy. Who? Billy. I think we recorded a Supersons episode with him. Maybe. Or maybe I've just listened to a Supersons episode. [01:04:18] Speaker B: You know, I meet so many people. [01:04:20] Speaker A: I know you do. You're so popular in the 70s. Our old friend Bob Haney. [01:04:26] Speaker B: Yes. [01:04:26] Speaker A: In these very pages of World's Finest magazine had a whole series of stories about the Supersons which were teenage sons of Batman and Superman. Oh, no. [01:04:38] Speaker B: Batman and Superman had boys together. How progressive. [01:04:43] Speaker A: No explanation ever of who their mothers were. No, no. I mean, it didn't fit with any continuity happening at the time. [01:04:51] Speaker B: Okay. [01:04:52] Speaker A: They were just, you know, 1970s teenagers, rebellious teens. [01:04:57] Speaker B: Okay. [01:04:58] Speaker A: Who looked exactly like adult Superman and Batman. [01:05:00] Speaker B: Okay. [01:05:02] Speaker A: Yeah, it's crazy, crazy times. Maybe we'll have to read a couple of those sometime. Oh, okay. If we run out of other things to read. [01:05:08] Speaker B: All right. [01:05:10] Speaker A: You are missing the lead, however. [01:05:12] Speaker B: What? [01:05:13] Speaker A: Dear editor. Phooey. [01:05:16] Speaker B: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me open up my comic again. Okay, go ahead. [01:05:19] Speaker A: Why does every villain Curt Swan draws have to be so darn handsome? What do you want us to do? Root for him instead of Superman and Batman? And that's not all. In the duel of the super duo, Jemfus, the rat fink who is out to destroy Superman, has a costume that any self respecting superhero would give his eye teeth for. Now I ask you, is that nice? Superman and Batman travel all the way from Earth to do battle with this creep and you let them make them look dowdy? For shame. Seriously, anybody or anything Curt Swan draws is always so beautiful that this was the only thing I could think of to criticize about his artwork. I wish I had that kind of problem with all the DC artists. [01:05:59] Speaker B: Irene Vartanoff, Lake Forest College, Lake Forest, Illinois. [01:06:03] Speaker A: That's kind of a backhanded compliment, Irene. Well, I agree. Kurt Swan is unimpeachable in his artwork. Anything to add? [01:06:16] Speaker B: No, no, this is enjoyable. Thank you for zooming through that Jerry Lewis comic. [01:06:21] Speaker A: Oh, you're welcome. You can find us on social media, Ogocheckpod. You can rate and review us wherever you get podcasts from. You can find us on our sister podcast, Nerd Orchestra. New episode dropping this week. And you can find us right back here next week. Oh, crap. We've got to record a new song this week because next week is the Blackhawks, and we haven't done a new song about their superpower versions. [01:06:45] Speaker B: Oh, no. [01:06:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Don't worry. I've got lyrics written. We just have to record it. [01:06:49] Speaker B: Awesome. [01:06:49] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, bye. Looking at you like leaving it all behind?